The Porn Myth Debunked

I think that we have law without origin of adult location and love is our destiny, and therefore if we don't get laws right we won't get lifeline. This is family policymakers with NC family Pres. John Weston joining policy matters. Our guest today is Matt Fred. Matt is founder of the website.

The point of fact and is director of content development integrity restored, which provides education, training, encouragement and resources to help individuals break free from the bonds or biography to help relationships and to assist parents in preventing their children from being exposed to pornography in the first place and then effectively responding if and when they are today. Matt joins us to discuss his newest book, the porn myth, which provides a nonreligious response to the commonly held belief that pornography is harmless or even potentially beneficial to society and as is customary with topics of the sort we will certainly endeavor to keep our conversation G rated. But I do want to let parents know the importance of today's program may not be suitable for younger listeners and with that, Matt, Fred, I want to welcome you. Family policy matters. It's great to have you on the show great to be here. Thanks for having me will thank you Matt no Matt you argue. I know that a few things in our society are more concerning than pornography. With all that's going on in our culture and in the world around us hope our listeners understand why you place this issue of pornography at such a high level of concern for us right well ever since the advent of the Internet number fees become accessible, affordable, and anonymous in a way that it is never been before the bat porn use has skyrocketed and certainly think the at been told to decide say about 2000.

Many people are beginning to speak out about deleterious effect that pornography is happening in their lives, not just religious people, but atheists or agnostics, and people of all different walks of life. What we used to think was that in order for substance to be addictive.

It had to be your something external to the body that you put into the book like nicotine or heroin, but since it neuroscientist started looking in the Brighton. It's got to change how we think of addiction right so that it's not necessarily about the substance and how it's brought into the body. It's really about the sort of mechanisms.

It it triggers in the brain. As I sit here today doing this interview. There are currently 33 neuroscience-based studies on porn use and every single one of them supports the addiction model right attests to the fact that there these sort of addictive traits taking place in the brain, which leads to a whole constellation of problematic things, no matter what is the number one myth about pornography that you encounter and how do you refute that myth is you're talking to people and communicating about what today in our culture we really canonized choice, heavenly choices more important than what's right what's good about what's notable and so people often several people have a right to do whatever they want and I usually respond by saying bold people have of course do whatever they want, but it's prudence before engaging in an action that may have deleterious effects that one takes stock of the possible negative consequences that might be brought about through that through engaging in that behavior. And so I really try and educate people and show them that consuming graffiti can lead to less satisfying sexual life.

It can lead to things like sexual dysfunction, it can lead to sexual aggressiveness and it can even lead to shrinkage in different parts of the brain 2014 study showed the something I wish somebody had told me back when I was 17 and 18 engaging in this sort of material I just like everyone else. This was harmless, entertainment, and that if you were against porn you were somehow anti-sex. Now I know you talk about a movement called five new drugs and you've already spoken about this a little bit but I know that you and some others are beginning to refer to rope to pornography more as a drug because of the as you've already discussed some of the traits. There are there more aspects of of pornography that related to a drug addiction, like alcohol, illegal drugs and things of that nature right well. Certainly pornography isn't the frog in the sense that you no one's injecting it's no one's inhaling at that sort of thing, but what tomography consumption does is elicit powerful neurotransmitters in the brain which the brain can become addicted to insert very few drugs are addictive right in order for drug to be addictive. What it must do is something very specific.

It must boost the neurotransmitter called dopamine in the reward center of the bright drugs do. They don't create anything new in the brain rapidly amplify, decrease existing mechanisms in the brain so all mammals have a reward system in the brain.

It's that thing that gives us a craving to engage in behaviors that are either life promoting or life enhancing.

That's why you we get that big feeling of all I gotta have that hamburger.

I got a workout today are at want to have sex without dopamine sexual activity wouldn't be that exciting. So what tomography does is it boosts that dopamine in the Nero is in the reward center of the crime and a down regulation takes place so that the reward center begin to endowment self because of the overstimulation dopamine literally begin to atrophy and the person is quite honestly in a state of dopamine craving so in order to boost the levels of dopamine up, you know, just to feel normal. This is why people looking over if you find that they have to view more pornography and very often more deviance or hotter forms of pornography just to get the same high your listening policy matters a resource to listen to our radio show online resources have a voice of persuasion in your community website. Margie, no Matt, you do spend several chapters of your book the porn myth exploring the relationship between pornography and feminism that I found this to be quite interesting. It's not unusual to hear one group saying that pornography is empowering for women, while another group at the same time would argue that it is demeaning and degrading toward women. Help us sort through that a little bit. Yeah I think whenever we try to engage with someone who we disagree with.

It's always important. I think that we do our best to try and understand that the insert. What might the feminist be saying when they try's iconography can be liberating.

I think what they might mean is this old Victorian idea that man enjoys sex while women endure it isn't true, and perhaps their estimation. Sometimes that's the way we have looked at sex and so some women would like to say I can take charge of my sexuality. This can be a liberating thing for me to do. If I find it liberating that Bennett's liberating, but something to say no one saying we want to go back to this Victorian puritanical era where the side of the woman's old ankle could cause scandal that seems to me to be clearly unhealthy but that doesn't mean that pornography is therefore liberating to women you know, allowing millions of men to pleasure themselves while watching you be in many cases dominated in a very beautiful ways to think that you're somehow fighting the system of patriarchy to me just seems the exact wrong way around it seems to me you're feeding into it, not fighting it, will we often hear in addition, about the moral concerns about pornography and how it degrades women and objectifies human sexuality what what what are some of the nonreligious arguments for choosing real love over porn as you discuss in your book so I'm to say something that sounds like it's out of the middle of a whole mockup that it might be tempting for us to dismiss it. We got I think we've been made by love to love and for love and as a Christian I think that's theologically accurate that we have law without origin. Love is our vocation and love is our destiny and therefore if we don't get love right we won't get life right. The more we participate in activities and behaviors that are contrary to love the more senseless our life will become so what is love. Well, Aquinas would say love is willing the good of the other for the sake of the other. It seems with tomography consumption.

At least something contrary to love is at play.

It seems to be merely a matter of use, in which I'm not interested in the interior life of this particular performer hopes and dreams and aspirations and so forth. She's very replaceable. She's just a collection of body parts, and therefore II use her for unknowable hands and so for that reason I think no porn use can ever be justified. Certainly if one uses pornography compulsively will have more of a deleterious effect on them. Even moderate consumption leads to negative effects as well.

And so if we want to have a beautiful wife. We want to have a beautiful sex like it then we should quit: I really think I'm not trying to be hyperbolic here. If one is for science and prologues and those are two very good reasons, one ought to seriously consider being anti-porn your book for porn myth concludes with a message of hope, very similar to what you're speaking about hope for protecting our children hope for healing damaged relationships and hopefully breaking addiction for those who may be addicted to this activity message of hope. Would you like to leave our listeners with as we conclude our conversation today. Yeah well and you say three things. One, to the consumer one to the spouse of the consumer wants the parent to the consumer.

Maybe your man-made Bureau you're a woman who consumes pornography and I just want to say you ought your sin.

You're not the bad things you've done you, not the things you might be addicted to you are a beloved son and daughter of God and God is certainly not scandalized by your behavior.

He loves you and he knows what you're seeking right. It's what you're seeking isn't you know people or to reduce them to body parts looking for relief you're looking for stimulation and excitement and joy encircle and and they want to be found in photography and so just as a brother I would say trust in the mercy of God, get to confession.

If you haven't already and I have the strength to consider the possibility that you might be being cold to go to say therapy or a 12-step group to get this issue under control to the spouses of the porn uses. I would say don't undermine all or or or downplay rubber.

The trauma that your spouse's pornography use has taken on you. This is something therapists are calling the try old trauma answer to recognize that you've undergone a lot and you need healing just as much is your spouse needs healing as well. Thirdly to the parents. I would say listen to me if you're going to buy your child electronic device. Almost all electronic devices with screen deck, you must monitor that device.

If you're not willing to monitor it, don't buy it because I think you and I is parent will be held accountable on judgment day for what how we have raised our children if we must put good filtering accountability on all of our devices or else what we are doing giving our children essentially portable X-rated movie theaters and it's really not their fault when they end up becoming addicted to this Dolphins are just a word of encouragement. The parents note give your kids and internal filter for the unfiltered world in which they live and love them and don't get angry with them because if you do that the middle going to come back to again and maybe share the struggling with. Thank you for those words of encouragement. How important of those are now working our listeners go before we can to find your book a porn myth and to learn more about the science and resources available to those who are struggling with this in their own lives or who may be the spouses, parents or children of those who are struggling. Yes, I think it will go to the porn myth.com by my book that I can buy on Amazon. I should also let people know that I don't like sent from any purchase, people might make. We decided all the royalties will go to a group in San Diego that help support sexually traffic women. So in buying the book you literally educate yourself you be supporting that wonderful apostolate go children of the immaculate heart. As far as the more research I say go to our website integrity restore.com subscribe dropout cost them a little.

Good luck you really want to encourage your listeners to avail themselves of these great resources for myth and met Fred without a woman.

Thank you so much for joining us on family policy matters and for your great work to restore integrity in real love family policy matters production to listen to our radio show online resources and information about issues important to families in North Carolina website and see family.org and follow us on Twitter and Facebook