Giving Marriage A Voice

We decided on reading. Because we kind of bring people together to give them in detail to be able to have open conversations about marriage and how are them in a time when it become increasingly difficult to defend marriage. This is family policy matters, a weekly radio show and podcast from NC family designed to better inform listeners about the critical issues of the day and encourage you to be voices of persuasion for family values in your communities and now your host NC family Pres. John Rustin joining us for family policy matters.

We often say that families are the building block of our society and that is so true and fundamental to strong families or strong marriages. It's no secret that maintaining a strong, healthy marriage can be tough work but it also can be really designed to be one of the most intimate and rewarding relationships that humans experience our guest today works with an organization that has a unique approach to strengthening marriages from friendship and reading April rattling or is the Executive Director of Cano Fox, an international network of friends who seek to strengthen marriages through the establishment of reading groups. These groups currently exist in 37 states in the United States and 27 countries around the world. These groups bring people face-to-face to engage in the art of conversation and reading group posts lead others to study and discuss the beauty of marriage as one man and one woman for life members explore a variety of issues affecting marriage in a calm, thoughtful setting, while building authentic friendships with other married couples walking the family policy matters. It's great to have you on the show).

Thank you for having a current well thank you for taking time out of your schedule to be with us. So as we begin our conversation April tell us what prompted you to get involved with Cano Vaux and where did the name Tina Vaux originate so I got involved in Kennebunk about a year after its founding in 2014 to Vaux itself was started in 2013 by a group of mothers who are all concerned about the erosion of the marriage culture and what that was doing to this family and society as a whole. So they got together and they decided that they like to rally all supported marriage, and to do something constructive and they wanted to start the small reading groups were like-minded friends could get together face-to-face and to study and discuss the issues affecting the mariculture name Tina Vaux actually comes from Kane at the wedding feast at Cana and Fox is the Latin for voice which is getting quite marriage of voices certified tagline. What were trying to get would kinda help people learn how to give marriage a voice that's great that's great. And so many especially many who did not grow up in a household with those strong marriage it really can almost be a foreign concept.

So I think it's great that you're doing what you're doing and really working to build in and foster strong marriages so April while you pursue reading groups as opposed to other forms of engagement like marriage conferences or group date nights or political activism, or some other activity like that.

Clearly, great question and we decided on reading. Because we kind of bring people together. We want to give them an opportunity to be able to have open and honest conversations about marriage, and to empower them in a time when it's become increasingly difficult to defend marriage and we found that if people are feeling isolated and they were being shut down, and they were unable to discuss these important issues like to give the tools and the opportunity to have the discussion about marriage and all of the issues that affect the mariculture and ultimately we want to help reestablish the idea of community and we think the reading group model. This is the best way to do that by getting people together face-to-face.

We know that the decline of community is sort of one of the big things out there that's that's causing us to have so many of these issues that were talking about our group and so we thought by having people come together in person would be the best way to serve help reestablish that element of community. Other other forms of activism are great and ultimately sometimes our people in our group gets so empowered. Then they go out and do activism. You are right there to state they get the tools from us. They learn how to talk about marriage that had defendant and they have you conversations in one state in our group have the conversations they can take what they learn and they can go out there and they made you some of their inactive but our groups are not were not activist groups per se. So imagine that as you said this, the sense of community is so important and something that really is lacking a lot of people's lives. So which really keeps but also expects the bringing together individuals who are married to relate and talk with someone from other married individuals is really important to strengthening their individual marriages and also providing examples specially for those who may be going through personal struggles in their marriages and things like that. Hey this this can work.

This is worth investing in. Talk about that will be a while. Why is it important not only to bring individuals together but married couples and married individuals together to strengthen and bolster each other while we do have groups there that married couples group have grip. That's when we have prepared man. We have a different mix in group that's not always married couples together, but most of the people in the group are married and to your point about having friendships with married couples. I think that is super important because people influence one another. Right friends influence friend, so if you and your your spouse or friends with a group of people who are married, they support the historical understanding of marriage that helps to reinforce your own beliefs about marriage and is also great strength and being witness to one another. Marriages and by that I don't mean just the good right I mean.

That's a very important part of the good that we see in marriage, but also the messiness that comes with life. Marriage is I think this is such an important thing when you talk about having married friends and people working to help you to maintain your marriage through you. The consent scrapes. So how are these reading groups established and give us a sense of how they work. I imagine they differ from group to group and from country to country, possibly beyond just language differences talk about the right yesterday. They are very different.

It's important trust for us to have art the people running grip to run their groups in the way that works best for their community or their group of friends were doing a great right we want to provide the tools and materials to help them do this trip want them to feel comfortable to run their group.

How does it how they fit so people usually come to Cano Vaux through word of mouth how we've been getting the message out into the last five years to hear about your program through a family member or through a friend who's been involved in a group and if there's a group nearby. The person who's interested they might be able to join that group. Depending on the thing of the makeup of the creek, but if there's not a group nearby. They can also start on group 7. That case what we would do is we would provide them with get them set up with all the training they need to do with hidden materials and they would take it from there. So I mentioned earlier we have groups that women's groups have men's groups with college group to have some couples group and we really just better group leader structure groups the way they think will work best, usually held once a month and one of the things I think is important to note for people who would be interested in being part of one of the groups are leading a group is that our group leaders are not lecturers, not teachers there facilitators right so anyone really can do it it's it's something people hesitate to say all of my really good. I can't do that I can't leave the group from the teacher.

I don't do that, we say think that's great that you don't have to be provide you with the tools and materials. We help you go through training so you know how to run a group. It's really just a matter of you getting the people together. Find a location and Cendant information. People read before they come to the group. Generally, sometimes you know people in the usually busy parents and fellow is sometimes I don't read but yet I would like people to come in and read and then they can have conversations about whatever particular topic is there studying that that month listening to policy matters radio show and cast from the same family you can sign up to receive and to listen to the show online resources persuasion anyone website family watching what types of books and other materials to the groups read and how are those selections on the reading that we have are on our website and we currently have 22 sessions in English. We also have 20 sessions and got both. But what we do is we really take the best materials that are out there that are already created out on the web right and we call them together and we we create a section based on an academic piece and then two or three personal narratives that really help bring the academic piece to life example on our website in the importance of fatherhood we have on our academic piece based on the importance of fathers talking about the studies that we have that we know others are very important to their children's lives you have another piece talking about how marriage makes men better fathers but then we have a few personal narratives drawn there like we have the videos we have a great video, correctional officer talking about his life and how fathers are just so keep to their children's lives.

That's really the recipe that we use when in coming up with our readings and leaks, putting it in a practical context for people to apply it and make it relevant to their log so that seems like a real meaningful basis on which to have these conversations and understand better how these issues affect marriages and so forth. So what scrapes what is your count of long-term hope Poirier goal for these reading groups were they go after they make it work through most of the materials that you recommended children. What's the 10 year plan in your eyes. What we really love people to do is have a group and some people group decide starter OPEC with SR group organist start her own group, but often the groups get together they create a great community that they like to stay together, which is good to because then leave whatever goals. Creating community but people when they do that when they stay in the group like that will be actually do is bring your syllabus for continuing revealing material and and adding sessions where we think they need to be added right now.

I said we've got 22 sessions we could take people to if they meet once a month and then off their groups take breaks during the during the Christmas holidays and then in the summer because he can't follow an academic schedule, then that usually gives him a couple of years worth of material to the three years depending something groups decide that they could do it biweekly and so they go to the material quicker than that and also groups to like to revisit certain topics because when you're meeting and I'm groups usually only need about an hour and 1/2 foot print out half and you've got 10 or so women trying to have a conversation about the topic easily come back to that next month and talk again about it because there's so many some of the topics you could really talk about double time because they're the tough issues dealing with right now. Pornography is that particular hot topic right so that that's something that you can always revisit and talk about because it was things happening to you need to find out know about you also like the sex ed in the family and the sex ed in school. These are always issues that come back again that people one talk about grace for just about out of time for this week's program but before we go I want to give you an opportunity to let our listeners know where they can go to learn more about Cano Vaux sure thinking they can go to our website at www.canovaux.com where they can email us at info@fox.com as well to Greg and that is Cano Vaux.com in that spelled CA NAV OX against CA and AZO X and I want to encourage your listeners to take advantage of these resources are if you've been particularly prompted to interest or from the conversation we had today definitely go to tinderbox.com and if you don't have a group in your area learn how you can start one people so grateful for all that you're doing to help strengthen and bolster marriages not only across our country, but across the globe. So thanks so much, and without people rattling around in a thank you so much for being with us on family policy matters today and for your work to support and strengthen marriages. Thank you so much for you have been listening to family policy matters weekly radio show and Comcast from NC family to listen to the show online for more resources that will help you be a voice of persuasion in your community. Go to our website@ncfamily.org and follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter