Parenting for an Immortalized Future

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This is family policy matters weekly radio show and Comcast from NC family designed to better inform listeners about the critical issues of the day and encourage you to be voices of persuasion for family values in your communities and now your host NC family Pres. John Rustin thank you for joining us for family policy matters.

In recent months we have seen an increasing number of stories and images from people's past coming back to haunt them from allegations made during the confirmation hearings of US Supreme Court Justice Rick Cavanaugh to more recently the yearbook photos of Virginia Gov. Ralph Moore from public figures, and other individuals for that matter seem to be facing a higher level of scrutiny. In today's hypersensitive environment.

Now that's not to say that this is all bad. Accountability can be a very good and powerful thing but it can also be very harmful.

Technology these days is ever present with cameras and recording devices are practically everyone's fingertips and social media brings events into the public domain in the blink of an eye. Young people are particularly vulnerable to having their private lives made very public these days. Our guest today has some insightful advice for what parents and young people can do to help avoid negative circumstances now and in the future after serving in the local church for 25 years.

Barry Johnson and his wife Jennifer launch their info for families ministry, which is committed to equipping parents to help their children and teenagers navigate our hypersensitive and hyper sexualized culture into enter into marriage free of much of the relational baggage that often leads couples into real difficult and without merit. Welcome to family policy matters. It's great to have you on the show grabbed John well it's our pleasure. We appreciate your time now. I know you wrote a very interesting article several months ago about what parents can learn from the Cavanaugh hearings which I mentioned in my introduction were not going to attempt to argue who was right and who was wrong in that case, but rather focus on the reality that is you said the choices we make in our younger years have a way of following us into adulthood that really can be both good and bad.

So why is it important for us to give this serious consideration. Your current Gartner crew and will that want Cavanaugh. Confirmation hearing resonated with probably cripple it out. People who read it and I want to talk about. There was a month minimum molecular young teenagers, college-age silver wild oats and about of the systems the writing habits and patterns of behavior that power to find common Cavanaugh's case and hearing a few foolish loaded yearbook almost new life and not to stand there what they give younger will bid them adulthood get better prepare young like it doesn't matter how well their significant things that can have a lasting impact on all people's lives and their their futures so barren in your opinion, should we readily forgive the mistakes people make in their use and allow them the freedom to mature and to repent from their mistakes works. Do you believe that people should really be held accountable and and strictly so for mistakes they may have made in their younger years. I didn't bode we were all growing up on your now judge somebody they post common pattern play gotten me to culture that caught Gordon's question is a lot of remorse was a lot of brokenness, but that many times, not because the truly feel broken because they got caught and handgun it apologizing like back on track. I think one company truly is remorseful and themselves to a restoration path. That of course walk that product that greatly need to start again but I think many times how much into that public culture that we look into what again without truly walking the path of the restoration that might result in clue why change those experiences can be such a life teachings and important experiences that we all go through from time to time slot. John Mike did most of more broken cupboard walk that process scheduling from your years of experience in youth ministry Barrett. How do you think we as parents and mentors can best communicate with young people about the importance of making good choices now and the lasting nature and impact those choices and behaviors may have in the future and wondered the world they live in so you can talk about what happened did Cavanaugh help you craft a week from you and want to go.

He will be the host of the authors are Pat dictating the pond you are now so you think we'll be heading in the public eye, current events, to teach a kid happening around us right now we have a friend whose son is years old bad loans with the younger girl that involved bank involved in your on his record right now is the criminal sexual offender permanent record of a job interview go to is based upon what he believes taking results with him the opportunity you can't teach your kids what you do now matters in your future in relation to that there do you believe that the stakes are higher for younger people today because of the prevalence of technology and social media and in the prominence and I think that's so important to consider the prominence of memories that are digitally captured by lifestyle and posted in dozens and hundreds. The grand poster snap Bomb. A lot of the work we do (navigate the pipe it looks like culture. Don't talk about everything saved. In fact, it occurred they are culture that somebody somebody picture. What more could expect.

He photos online recompense will be seen by college is by job and what makes right now little bit troubling, which is 22 years old and so that they don't gotta be a part listening to his family. Policy matters radio show and cast from the same family you can sign up to receive and to listen to the show online resources that need a voice that explains anyone signing family launching so Barrett how should parents is there seeking to do this really balance setting high standards of behavior for their children while also leaving room for grace when mistakes are made.

I know that often times I will talk to my kids about our goals. My wife's goal for them is not for them to be perfect, but really to strive for excellence in all that they do. There's got to be a balance with grace when those mistakes are made. Below the manager when just like we were younger, but how you respond to those who matter, shame and guilt and punishment are are not linked shame and guilt are a bad thing. Punishment any necessary consequences parent but but glory be the overarching factor blocker consequences your kids for not what meeting your standards on what you don't communicate love you got to love you but on pushing towards a better way going.

We saw the component with live and breathe in our ministry as a whole big section of the church as long for young people to mess up your purity somehow there's no way to get back and think I have messed up in our lives that God can't restore inmate's apparent model back on your kids at the current standard grace will blow it think that's such an important thing for parents to understand and consider.

It's tough to find that balance. But as we seek to look at him. The Scriptures and then pray for guidance and and understand that grace has been offered to us as well that the hotel, put things into perspective. So I really appreciate you sharing that in addition to the relationship between parents and children friendships among younger people are also a very important part of this conversation. How can parents help their children choose friends wisely and cultivate positive friendships that are going to minimize the chances for forcible negative activity but then the potential for negative asked to be put out in the digital world for other folks to see?? We could write a book. The figure that out but I think all mom and dad got stable not just a parent but but a close loving relationship and I think that in response to me. Parents you have the attitude of not apparent. I'm not my kids not get the logic that you don't want to be your TV buddy but you don't want to hear the drives already and you're not in relationship wise once that the teenagers you want them to like you don't like you they won't listen to you as you think you do you listen to people you don't like don't check them out and so coping relation with your kids that you are your Google is your 21 he influenced by you, so you do have more to say about their peers and hanging out with. They will listen and one thing out on Tuesday.

Help your kids to know that you will be turning into the least common denominator of your peers. So peer peer group goals this way and at the worst, they are like ABC to move toward ABC every kid got the attitude of Auburn, my friend, my level now your copy to be dropping on to their level. So stay close with that event but you turning your friends and so because of its relation with the peers that I want to come that long term have no homes. Also, with the prevalence of social media which we've mentioned over and over again during our conversations.

Are there specific tools or standards for things that you recommend to parents and young people to help safeguard their use of social media and to do it in a in a productive way. I would younger to don't have a smart yet pretty smart phone conversation and pound daughter when you have a smart phone, but it's not your phone and I can control what you do want to connect with and what apps are used always as such is not up yet at 15-year-old smart phone for number of years, probably to have that conversation as well. A lot easier and been backpedaling back and talk our home with all my kids that get your mishap on the social media policy will not shine, and sometimes not watch what you do and permission as your parent to come in, want to just give all that way. Now some great sock portal Circle device. The great divide covenant eyes manages no use and drug abuse neck and think parents want really good look at business because you think there's a problem there's a resource called seeing things that you can find online been able to track your kids do online bark is not a great well but going tools out there using what the kids are doing. I know you got a lot of great information on your websites offer info for families to tell us where our listeners can go to avail themselves of the great information that you have will family info for family.com down" for family and we are going to help parents commitment conversations and to rightly courtship on the website and that is what the boys and one for girls called the young man died off, which is designed to help teenage boys help with her dad. Another milky white talk about the girls. She will not repeat not turning the heart one basically in the new girl." The middle which is that it can't be conversation about daughter and father help get involvement conversation so but all that info for family. We love working parent of our world get this right grace and again, that website is insult for families.com info for families.com. I want to encourage your listeners to avail themselves of the great information there. And with that mirror Johnson.

I want to thank you so much for being with us on family policy matters today and for also the great work that you're doing to help provide parents and young people the information that they need to operate in a safe and productive way in our hypersensitive arena today as well. You have been listening to radio selling cast from family to listen to the show online resources that will help you be a voice of persuasion in your community. Go to our website@family.org and less on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter