Virtual Protection Amidst Virtual Connection

Family policy matters and engaging and informative weekly radio show and podcast produced by the North Carolina family policy Council hi this is John Ralston presidency family and were grateful to have you with us for this week's program. It's our prayer that you will be informed, encouraged and inspired by what you hear on family policy matters and that you will flow better equipped to be a voice of persuasion for family values in your community, state and nation.

Now here's our house to family policy matters Tracy to visit next. Thanks for joining us this week for family policy matter. As America has embraced social distancing adults and children are spending more time on screens for work, learning, and pleasure. While technology can be a great gift and play an important role in helping us through situations like this.

There are also some real risks associated with so many more people, good people and bad people spending so much more time plugged into their screens and the Internet. This is especially the case for children with Jake Robberson, director of communications for the National Center on sexual exploitation joins us today to talk about how people can help ensure their families stay safe while spending so much more time online.

Their website and sexual exploitation.org is a great place to start.

Jake Robberson welcome to family policy matters right so what do we know about the connection, if any, between how much time people spend online whether a computer, phone or TV and the likelihood that they're going to encounter problematic material of some kind. Similar to anything in life where we spend more time engaging in activity were opening ourselves up to more risk and we certainly accept those risk to the many different ways, whether that driving our cars or using our online devices.

We sort of have this understanding that the more time I'm spending on the more potential there is for problem scammers or the exploiters are taking more vanished. You get the sense that they're ramping up because of what's going on. We know this happened all the in general. However, what we have seen an increase in accounts because they know that children in particular be spending more time online while at home and not at school and were seeing that everything from increased phishing attempt in our emails were pretending to be Netflix or Apple trying to get people's credentials and or plant virus or children.

People targeting children direct messaging on social media out or on video games that nature so what would you recommend is the first step for us to take to be sure our family can safely use media and Internet while were all home yet. If you haven't already really important to get some hardware and software in place for your home Internet connected device was not something like a circle device that you can install and connect to your your home Internet that gives you the ability to set screen time limits or block certain types of sites or apps like covenant eyes that helped with Internet filtering and screen accountability.

While different options available, but making sure that you got those installed and likely both hardware and software is really helpful for Stepford anybody but parents and families in particular. To overcome this idea that somehow our children deserve a lot of privacy as far as what they're doing online.

Definitely one of the ways you can start that conversation with Sgt. helping them to understand and maybe even ourselves a little privacy. We already have online and once we understand that footprint is a real thing that we have very little privacy in the way we interact online just due to the companies and platforms that were interacting with all the different types of data tracking that they have what you to understand that we can explain that to our children and help them understand that I privacy is not guaranteed on these mediums, and we're here to help protect you were here to help you not get exploited by that lack of privacy and so there's going to be these systems in place to help protect you and help protect us. That's a really great point, so if all these other people out there have access to this information. Your parents should have access to that as well.

Do you think some parents so still have to be convinced that they have the right to do this. Certainly we have narratives of autonomy or culture that in many ways, have healthy aspects, but I think that comes to our family interactions and parenting our children… Forgive myself.

We have to understand that autonomy looks very different with children and we do that in other respects in the way they live their physical lives we set healthy boundaries and rules and limitations and stuff like that for our kids with things like driving or time they spend with their friends and really it's just helping them understand that this is another place where their autonomy comes with rules and limitations and age-appropriate muscles you know to be different for your five-year-old and €10 a measure 15-year-old so you mentioned earlier hardware and software solutions for this are those ways that parents can actually get to see what kind of media. Their children are being exposed to. Are we just limiting the amount of time on the ones you use and so I recommend depending on what age your kids divisively have looking at which of those solution would gotta be best for you. We have several of those listed actually a blog.

We wrote on this@websiteandsexualexploitation.org you can look at sort of some of the filtering services both software and hardware that we recommend. People look into first. Certain ones are only filters and they just block stuff from coming in. Other ones house or you can get more access to some parents can see what sort of apps and messages. Children are actually exchanging, so each of us is managing our time online in different ways and so for us as individuals and families. It's important to have a inventory to take a digital inventory and look at what the devices that each of us likes to use one of the platforms of the obsolete.

You look like to use and what of the vulnerabilities in each of those because it's going to be different for all of them. For example, on Instagram, you do have the ability to turn off direct messages from people you're not friends with so that strangers can't be direct messaging you finding you without you already cited that would be such a great safety feature to have.

But that is not going to be the same on South Chapel on tick-tock where on tick-tock even if you set up some of these frontal controls and safety features will disappear after 30 days and reset and you have to re-install themselves. These measures are going to differ depending on the types of devices that each of us and apps and platforms. Each of us are using quick parents just need to be vigilant, don't they.

They don't need to sit around and go well.

All my kids know about all that stuff and I don't know how to do it. I mean, we need to be vigilant. Yeah, this is not a set it and forget it type project even with hardware and software in place is important that each of us is taking a personal responsibility as individuals, but then for parents in particular does take work. This does take effort we have to follow-up with our kids and talk through their habits, not just for their safety, but also for a healthy balance because as we know it so easy for each of us to come to get sucked into and consumed during this time what it easy to be thinking that while this is my only option. We stopped to help ourselves and our children find a good balance between time spent on screens in time spent in the real world interactions one another so is this your greatest fear that the risk of sexual predators online sexual exportation online including this online grooming predation is already on the rise and were seeing more and more stories of children who are being exploited and/or abused and coerced into sexual sex trafficking. The sex abuse unwanted sexual contact and coercion. Off-line that started online or being contacted on Instagram on tick-tock on Snapchat another platforms and some imposing as a friend will take their time and establish trust through these private shots and then the work their way towards exchanging sexually provocative or explicit images or videos and then all of a sudden they got black no leverage in their exploiting kids without them ever having met in real life and so is to study more time on monitor experimenting with new platform of NewTek. This is a significant concern that parents need to beware of some kids seem to be more vulnerable than others. Can we as parents do some things to make our kids less vulnerable and by that I mean do we need to be having more conversations do we need to make sure what hat were spending good quality time with our kids are away by being too wrapped up in work or whatever actually making our kids more vulnerable to predators because we know just in general for human beings are looking for connection and that's true for children.

The waiting for adults in the last connection interpersonal connection that were getting more easily be more susceptible we might be to getting that connection in places that we wouldn't have otherwise. And we see that that's true across different age groups, the lonelier we are, the less connected we are, the more likely we are to get ourselves into situations where we are vulnerable to people taking advantage of our trust and so it is an important reminder to us as parents, but I think there's a silver lining for us as parents in this and that one of the best ways that we can help protect our kids is being somebody who wants to connect with our kids who want to spend time, play games, share activities, share meals with our children. That's just good advice. In general, but it does make a difference with our kids are feeling connected without their parents in the real world that can help them be less vulnerable to try to get that seek that out elsewhere and more likely to talk to us. If they do encounter let's talk a little bit about adults. We spent a lot of time talking about children, but we do know that pornography and even pornography addiction is a huge problem in our country and even among our Christian communities. So what recommendations do you have for people who know they've got a problem with this show the connection thing is still huge for adults who struggle with pornography addiction of any kind, and there's a lot of research coming out that the opposite of addiction is fairly sobriety. But connection in that we use addiction to medicate problems that stem from a lack of connection and so it is important for us to be intentional about making connections either with the people who live with, or friends and families doing phone calls and video calls. That's one important thing to make sure we maintain and be intentional about if someone struggling with addiction.

They feel tempted by time online and then there are good things out there that help us maintain connection but also help us avoid temptation. Mention covenant eyes earlier. That's a great tool that they've designed yes for parents and families but actually specifically also for adults and individuals who want to stay sober for pornography and so they got Internet filtering as well as screen accountability so that you can set up connections with real life accountability partner so that they can see what you're spending your time on on your device and help you stay sober. And so there are resources out there, but we have to be intentional about maintaining connection.

In addition to those using those resources and tools and being proactive in looking for weaknesses and helping put safeguards in place to help us avoid falling back into that unwanted Savior where just about out of time before we go. Would you mind please giving our listeners. Your website and any other resources that they can access.

To learn more about this.

We encourage everyone to go to and sexual exploitation.org we got a resources tab at the top of our website. There for those who are struggling themselves with explication addiction for those with a partner or spouse of those for parents as well.

You can find the blogs rewritten were read. Recommend steps for helping keep your family safe over spending more time online as well as hardware and software that you can implement as well.

That's all right there in our website and sexual.org so Jake Robberson with the National Center on sexual exploitation. Thank you so much for joining us on family policy matters absolutely listing the family policy matters. We hope you enjoyed the program and plenitude in again next week to listen to the show online insulin more about NC families want to inform, encourage and inspire families across filter a lot of our website at NC family.award that's NC family.org.

Thanks again for listening and may God bless you and your family