Chris Singleton: Your Life Matters

I do this I would know if you do this like when you're sitting in a mall or maybe in an airport or somewhere where there is bunch of people walking by and you're just there to sit near do you ever find yourself judging people just like perfect are now you know what I do because people walk by and accrete the stories of their lives that I got my my my own as you like. I will make judgments about people that I don't know based on how their walk in what they're wearing what they're here if I can hear him talking what they're talking about. I mean it's it's terrible but I'm finding that I am like I take I judge you. Yeah, I think we as people do that, we judge one another.

Not knowing their background or their story and family life today really help you pursue the relationship matter, I Nan Wilson Wilson and you can find his family life today.com or on the family is family life. So today we want to talk a little bit about how do we see the image of God in everyone. Those that are similar to those that are different. Some that we might judge without even knowing it a negative way, how do we have the eyes of God. To see people the way God sees him their image bearers of our king and they should be celebrated rather than judge, so we got Chris Singleton back in the studio family life today welcome back Tiffany left today Chris, thank you ma'am glad to be back. Yeah, here's filed over there because you wrote a book about this, you knows called different. It's really written for children, but I read it and I'm telling you right now is really gay.

This yeah you say this may be a children's book, but every adult needs to read it because you can tell us what your goal in your purpose was, but I'm guessing it's sort of relates what were just talking about right absolutely meant so I would I would travel around and I'm speaking to schools, high schools, companies and churches, but I never felt safe. Talking with little kids FS admin. I guess it's a sad story. I want to take away their innocence. Right. So how do I get the same message of love and people across to kids.

One of biggest thing that we forget is that so many things we don't choose in our lives we we forget that sometimes.

Just think about will choose our names. Most the time we were given our names we don't choose were born who were born to weaving figment want to be like the startup music.

Maybe because we heard growing up.

Maybe because we finally heard for the first I'll be experiencing the music Man. This experience is amazing. So I just remind people that both kids. I said how I do that in this children's book came about reminder listeners a little bit you just said you come from a sad story. You don't want to tell the kids at Sotelo's and mentors to a little bit about what's the story. Unfortunately lost my mom and the money menu AME church shooting on June 17, 2015. She was one of nine victims that lost their life to gather want to start a race war in this country and following that I had this mission of unity. How can I unite people even though were different even though some of us speak different languages how can we come together, that's remembering that we serve in the one God and one king and there were also all made the image of them. So that's one thing we can do.

So how can we that we kids in. That's what this book came about in one of things I do with my story on her mom mom. I put my mom in every single children's book that are right that someway somehow she was an educator. My mom read books to me grown-up and I didn't even realize how lucky I was as a kid to have my mom reading to me so many kids don't have that but that's what I wrote this book and my favorite page on Marie my favorite page. If you don't mind.

Do you think we should have a little background of what's happening the story before I go. Music is. This book is about a kid named Abina coming from Nigeria and will be to get to the states he gets to troll someone from these picked on a little bit because different righties wearing different clothes got different hair and soap kids are making fun of them, but in the end. Obviously they celebrate obesity celebrate these differences, but in this this part. I put my mom this specific scene because this summer she said to me, and obey this sad your people talk about.

He throws off his his dishy keys traditional clothing Mr. Monahan in the tissue in her eyes were soft, the kind eyes to see me know exactly what you're feeling without having to say word.

They sat in silence for a long time. Then never be ashamed of who you are, Abina, Lysistrata said you beautifully and wonderfully made is my favorite part of the whole book.

My mom used to pray for us when we were in no sleep and she come in our room and she pray over us and let us know that we beautifully wonderfully made, fearfully and wonderfully made. Want to deftly put that in the story to honor my mom and her memory. Now is your mom told you that you nuzzle as a young little boy was it something you believed was a son, you had to walk through struggle to believe knows it was good. I think when your parents are booting you up every single day. You have a certain level of confidence right and so for me I'm a dark skinned kid and so like every kid to get picked on because of something so people say things about me being dark skinned and stuff like that but it's the one you're out the night.

The other your why because my mom is telling me I'm beautiful he wonderfully made. I think is beautiful and parents to build their kids up every single day.

What a Kinko's is going to hear something like that is funny, but no my mom and dad told me hey I made an image of God. I made the image of our Lord and Savior.

So yes, it's cool slow joke, but am fearfully and wonderfully made the whole thing just makes me cry but your mom and everyone of your books foundation that she gave you is tell you every day and praying for you.

Reading books to you talking about Jesus, to you as a mom and dad.

I think often we wonder that here I said you know it's because of you have two little boys that are due are and a seven month old at their squirming around and you know they're messing around their throwing things around and you wonder like to hear me your life is basically saying I heard my mom. Not only did I hear her.

I watched her and I want to bring honor to her because what you're saying I think is parent that was my greatest fear will they understand that they were made in the image of God that he loves them that he sees them that he celebrates them and I love your story because it reminds us as parents is like yes here we might have to say to million times. That is the foundation you're probably saying at tear place. Now I am I am but you don't want my son CJ he's a kid that would jump off of anything that doesn't care because her so I got a wine him down, but even him as well.

Let them know because away from Brazil and she speaks Portuguese at home with the kids want to learn her native language and grandma you get kids bilingual already. Yeah, he's he believed was at first though he wasn't saying anything he was. I'm speaking English today still try to figure that thing out. He cannot figure out 4G stuff language so I'm learning it.

You know in my wife's speaking Portuguese grimacing board you saw someone say anything and something in man.

I'm nervous like what is language okay but by saying hey, he's he learned in both languages process wisely but delayed in some there was to go to daycare all the other kids are talking. My son get made fun of is what I'm thinking in my head as he can't say anything yet and for me to support summa let him know that hey you beautifully wonderfully made. Same thing my mom told me hopefully stuck with him. Now he talks way too much so grateful that he's able to to speak, but that's always a fear that I had Butch's instilled into them. Let them know whose image is made into. I think that's very important. Every single child development how important you feel like it was for you when you lost your mom and I in a terrible way to lose lose your mother and you lost your dad as well. Now the foundation of understanding your identity pro athletes identity often is connected to what they do. They don't know who they are after, or when they can't do that anymore.

You lose your mommy lose your dad was that foundation of your identity in Christ and understanding your beautifully wonderfully made. You heard that your life from your mom was at a foundation for you to build a go forward and deftly was. But I'm such a believer and you gotta find it for yourself as well right so your parents can lead to the water. Your whole life. If you are not drinking it then what was can happen. So for me, mom was always is still easing into me and sometimes you never know when that we don't need those things your mom and I was talking about you know when your pastor tell you this from four years ago. They talked about in the sports way so stuck with you all of a sudden go to something like manna I memo my pastor said four years ago or so. So I think it was deftly important are they instilling to me, but I had to have that personal relationship. Myself and that's when things finally start to click for me and less of that wasn't making sense of fun. Certainly make a little more since very my life. I'm just thinking about you. You're traveling a lot you're speaking to businessman businesswomen your speaking at schools, high schools, middle school elementary schools and your message is about unity. When you say that's the core message that is a message that we can live together in harmony. You pass this message.

Do you read your book to elementary absolutely and what's the response like it's a great response.

You know we we have fun rudder elementary schools. All the kids jumping up and down and smiling the coolest thing that I do though is at the end of the story. There's discussion questions and I asked them hey what makes you different really celebrate the whole school to celebrate what makes you different right now so you have kids come up and say you know what Mr. Singleton affects he got six fingers instead of everybody laughing at this kid.

We all celebrate him for being different right does this other girl say you know what I got lazy. I suffer me to see out of this when I start laughing I will celebrate them because I didn't care. We do we do some car unity clap. Yeah, you know eyelashes because he yet we Klatt Ellice in unison right if we do it together is more powerful. So what have kids saying hey mom moms from this place. My dad from this place might say what I don't have a dad and that's what makes me different and was celebrating so that you feel like me and I'm getting it up because I'm different or whatever. Maybe we celebrated and it is a it is a fantastic time. Sometimes I have teacher say you know what makes me different.

I got webbed toes and no I never told anybody but the school that I got whipped so it is a beautiful thing that we celebrate everybody we do this in the schools. Yeah, I watched him do it.

I don't know where you are with a bunch elementary kids look like hundreds of home and you even get on when they didn't unity clap in unison yeah yeah I can do better help us understand okay so when I grow up and I'm an adult and I sit in a mall or an airport, and I judge people. People I don't even know. And again, I'm sorry.

Have fun with that. I don't really do that but there are times when because people are different than us. We don't understand we don't know their history.

We don't know their culture we judge and we build a wall rather than jump through that wall or build a bridge help us understand how we celebrate somebody that is different.

This is a great example of how I teach it for me. I always say you're sure your story before your stance. So when you share your story before whatever it is that you stand on people usually understand why you stand where you do so when I tell my story of losing my mom the way that I did write she was shot while she was praying and unfortunately that's what I tell somebody I don't really like guns too much up. I never have one myself was people so you know what I understand why Chris doesn't he doesn't like because his mom was shot and killed while she was praying, but on the flipside of semi told me hey I'm going up hunting my whole life. You know my grandmother and grandfather had a gun and grandmother had a gun next to him on the bed while he slept. It was just normal for us going hunting every single year quail hunting you know pheasant hunting or deer hunting or bear hunting to another things recently.

But once my system. Chris I love guns athletes will meet why there story I can understand just as well, and most times we see some is different. We hear their stance and we say you know what I could never agree with this person. You probably could agree to disagree. If you understood this story and that is how I teach how we can come together and still believe in what we believe and you want to change your heart.

But we have so much division because we don't know everybody story behind their stance and we do that's we can say you know what I understand why they think the way they do.

Even though that's not what I believe I know at that Detroit Lions, Bible study that I lead with their wives. I made a point as we started doing it longer and longer to hear each other stories because they really do understand one another and we not only do we hear each other stories, but then the parts of the story that we are wounded and things that happened we when we listen, we start praying like learn how can I encourage this person and so after the person share their story will speak life this way. I call it speak like a person like I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm so sorry you've gone through this here some of the things I see in your life of the way you've overcome that is miraculous. Or maybe they're still in it. But just to surround them and then at the end will just lay hands on that person and pray for them.

It's like it binds us together it harmony parts are connected. When you hear another story. I can remember sitting in the college locker room or football locker room and a member there is a kid on her team from the University of Cincinnati. This is a plant in Ball State in Indiana and I love this guy, but I thought we are so different were nothing alike use a black, white guys from the inner city and from this or just all these differences and I'll never forget one day we ended up in a locker room together.

Most thereby left an absent rape siding and I didn't plan to do this but he said hey dude, so you don't tell me about your family, don't you story and as he started talk about his family. I was soon there will McGinnis we are almost twins you know in terms of like his dad was an alcoholic one, that when he was like a little boy mom and dad get divorce there is abuse there is different things.

His family I'm like any look to me to go so at your story, I go. It's the same story goes know I didn't do don't you talk about your from you know Ohio and that you had this family go that walk at 107. He was an alcoholic. There is a B and I just gave me a love for him and he for me because we were different, but we worked it was like we got the same story and I never would've known that if I would've taken the moment to say just what you said Chris you tell me your story was like wow there's more in common here than there is different absolutely, and God want us to build is that part of the way you learn to love somebody you don't even know you know what, I recognize that going through pain and struggles universal right there in the good book. He says consider it pure joy when you face the trials, not if we face those trials, so I know where all want to face trial. Some people happens when their 12 like my brother. Some people have is when the 42 right is just different time for what to face him, but the way we come together is getting each other through those times. I love that you, you mentioned that about your your college teammate just because so often we you know we look at :-) so you know this person never been through anything.

Yeah, you know, all they lived there they know they have this to have that will struggle and pain is universal different country, different places even here in the states. It's it's universal and I loved what you said about a speak in life and to people of the reason why love so much is because my mom was killed so many people were praying for us and some people let you know. I know sometimes he was an praying for you. They may never even prayed, they just say that's nice thing to say but I genuinely believe in the power of prayer. If people are actually praying for somebody I think it does wonders why I believe in prayer. So much so, before I even set it on praying for you I'll say prayers. The prayers Artie been sent. That's a much I care about you.

The prayers already been sent. I just remember back when I lost my mom to person in this prayer, blankets and all these quilts and say I'm praying for you all the time and it genuinely gave me strength another people in my corner praying for me. So thank you for doing that in the hopefully everybody listening is doing. I just as well thing I think you when I was younger I used to say that they have will be praying for you as I got older I thought sometimes I just forget you walk away and you forget to pray and so what I've tried to do now is just pray for somebody right there on the spot. Yes, you know can take it could take 30 seconds I did it with an Uber driver not too long ago where he scared me what's going on might be praying for you. Would you mind if I just prayed for you right now and when I was done. She's crying because there is power in that and the fact that somebody would take the time to actually pray words over you of blessing and even comfort of saying like this must be so hard to have gone through the thank you that you're there. I know that you will be in her husband for 41 years.

She is telling you the truth everywhere we go, could be in an airport louver driver our neighborhood.

I am not exaggerating.

She prays for people right there and speaks life to total strangers. Trust me, there's times like can we just go now. Do you really have to walk over a person injured and it's amazing to watch the person, usually a stranger there face lights up. You can tell, maybe nobody's ever done this and they have it's been years just that moment of looking somebody in the eye, listening long enough to know a little bit of their story. Praying for them and then blessing them with your words.

It's unbelievable to watch their countenance change they may go from the worst day of their life to other best watch my wife. She's like an angel but it's kind of just seeing people I was in the airport that he went with me. This is just a few weeks ago where the Terry thinking of this, there is a woman on the train going to baggage and she was noticeably upset and so she was probably in her 60s and I just asked her are you okay and she started to cry and she said this is my first trip that I've been on without my husband he just passed away recently and I've realized I've never paid attention in the airport because I've always followed my husband and I don't even know where I'm going and so I just prayed for her real quick. I just said. That's gotta be so hard. I walked her to the car to meet her daughter that it was just if we can just see each other and notice each other when we are going through pain that I always heard this as an athlete in that the say stuff like this, they would say praying mom's praying grandma's keep the world going round and right so I went. When I hear that.

I just think that's so true thing about my mother. How much of a prayer warrior. She was so that's keep doing that because we need more more that going around for sure. I know that as you know, as a pastor and a preacher for 30 years. While things I tried to say, often in the sermon.

Many times a year. Was this thought that I got it from another preacher. Decades ago when I heard them talk about, you know, we often label people with a number like all you know, even athletes. We do it. I guess 10 guys with five or six you and he said this on her forget he said you have never looked at a person ever in your life who got done say is a 10 every person you see is a 10 to got their image bearers are made in the image got you never once laid on your eyes on person that doesn't matter to God. If we remembered that it's your core message in it, Chris. It's like how do you go from hate to love their loved by God and if I'm a lover of God.

I will love them, whether I agree you have the matter. You have to specially if you like, as believers, minute, and in my mind is as believers is our duty to love people were supposed to be doing if not us.

The new yeah I love that at Stephen and Wilson with Chris Singleton on family life today to ground you want to hear Anne's encouraging words to Chris in just a second. The first, Chris has written a children's book called your life matters and you can get a copy@familylifetoday.com or by giving us a call at 800-358-6329, 800 F's and family L as in life and in the word today. Okay look I get some people are the biggest fans of the kind of decorations start going up this time of year, I understand. But what if you could share the gospel while carving out pumpkin you can with family life's latest free resource is called gospel in a pumpkin it's a free download with activities pumpkin face stencil sheets and a guided script to help your kids learn about what matters most. While you carve your jack-o'-lanterns is a great chance to shine some light in the darkness this season.

Download gospel in a pumpkin for free today@familylifetoa.com, you know resources like this are only made available because of like-minded dedicated partners like you. You can give and help families this week@familylifetodate.com when you call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Again, that's 800 F is in family L is in life, and then the word today. Okay, now back to and in some encouraging words for Chris Singleton as she reflects on his story. Let me just say this to you Chris. Well done.

I guy look over even think if one of my sons if I had been shot by someone that was Creek trying to create strife racially and if I was shot and killed at a Bible study praying. If one of my sons would take on this mantle of thinking. I will not only have forgiven my mom shooter but now I want to spread a message of love and unity to the world and travel around and let people know God loves them God has made man in his image and he has a plan for them. I would be ecstatic, knowing that one of my sons would have done that your wife must be so incredibly proud of you. You're a man of integrity here. Maturity is beyond your age 25 years old and what you're doing is blessing. So many people and you are bringing unity to our country. So thank you for all that you've done well none thank you to be an angry man in your blessing everywhere you go, appreciate that the choice submissions. Thank you tomorrow on family life to a Damon and Wilson are joined by Ron deal to listen and respond to Mike and Kim Anderson's gut wrenching story of losing their child to her biological father's control, a broken marriage and of the hope lost and then found again.

That's tomorrow you will join us on behalf of David and Wilson. I'm Shelby Abbott will see you back next time for another edition of family life today family like the days of production of family life accrue ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most