Jordan Raynor: Redeeming Your Time

So do you know what my word for the year wasn't 2022 I have no idea why you having you as a preacher and always the first Sunday of the new year challenge or encourage our carbonation. Pick a word that you want God to do in you and through you for this year while you haven't told me your one congregant I did tell you to still remember family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationship that matter most and wealth and yes you are not Dave Wilson and you can find us a family like today.com or on the family life, family life today. My word for 2022. Present you fully present in every situation mostly with people with you with our sons and daughter laws her grandkids right now in the studio. I mean be fully there.

I feel like you think a look at you.

This is only serious because I used to complain about.

That'll actually scan your phone and I'd say over watching a movie together, but it's really not by myself but not love in word letter word. The reason I bring it up is because the thing that keeps me and probably a lot of us from being fully present as we feel like our schedules out of control were swamped. We can't manage our life. So I'm in one situation, but my mind is thinking forward or back and I'm not fully there because women do that all the time. Always somewhere else and all I know is everybody I know including me. Needs help with her time in our schedule and we got the guy in the studio today to help us Jordan raters back with this was actually Jordan is the first time ever on thing like today, longtime listener. Call her and hear what I did not know longtime listener. I mean let's qualify long time because I was just telling you was listening to your great episode with my friend John Tyson as you see I wasn't fully present. So I did you say you know Jon, I didn't know you listen to that program yet will you read the book all redeeming your time and as I read your bio tell us a little bit about what you've done because your bio is fantastic in terms of all the different sort of jobs you've had and I only understand what a tech. What was that the title attack was a serial tech entrepreneur that is yeah what is that I've spent the vast majority of my career first 10 years of my career as a tech entrepreneur starting this on a couple of different companies and today I create content full-time books, podcasts, etc. helping us all connect the gospel to our work in this book redeem your time is really just one expression of that mission.

If we believe that we have been saved for good works. As Paul talks about in Ephesians 210. We should care about redeeming our time because the days are evil.

As Paul says in a couple chapters later in Ephesians 516 and so this book is really looking at how do we do that in a peaceful way in the Jesus like way so that we can be purposeful, present, and wildly productive. Yeah, and you're the guy that redeems the time because you showed up for this interview an hour early. So I'm just having the wrong time I got I don't know which one you get the drive over from Tampa were you married with three little girls were little girls 75 and two. So let's talk a little bit about redeeming the time in a family.

What does that look like as you've got a crazy life you get little kids. Give us a perspective of how do you redeem your time. This subtitle, this book is seven biblical principles were being purposeful, present wildly productive in that middle one present is really I would argue the most important one with young kids I would find myself for years when I was running tech startups out at the office I be super focused I be doing court" deep work really really focus at my desk. My phone was on do not disturb, and then I would come home and it was a totally different story. Jordan, this is every wife's complaint.

Tell me more. We feel like your home, but you're not home and I know we do that is women to especially for caring our jobs so you are feeling totally feeling this and by the grace of God alone. I've I've learned tools and tricks that I share in the book on how to be fully present and also the most basic one starts with just putting my phone to bed when I get home writes at the end of the day when I get home whatever time it is right now I work from home is when I come downstairs at 5 PM taking my cell phone and temporarily basically converting it into a landline right so I put it in our master bathroom.

I'll turn the ringer on just in case of any calls and I need to get to it, but my phones and do not disturb so only calls from really important VIPs in my life can come through but I don't get notified of text messages. I have no temptation to check Instagram and I to be fully present with my kids and with my wife and that one little trick keeping the phone away from five until 730 when the kids are asleep. That's been a game changer for me tell you that I'm yeah how do you do that because I'm that going there so much that happens you know after 5 o'clock percent whenever your your workdays done that young sitter gone a text in email. There's no way I can be productive wildly productive year. He well he's my hero.

I'm just thinking how you do this because I'm I'm guessing you haven't always send this know everybody wants to do this but nobody thinks is right. It's not just an issue with our kids. It's also more at the office the way we treat incoming messages, whether their calls or text messages or emails is certifiably insane right I use the analogy in the book about the mailman. Right read the writer imagine that the mailman starts coming to your house.

Not one time a day, but 150 times a day, but he doesn't stay at the curb right he gets out of his car. He comes to your front door rings the doorbell and you can't up from what ever you're doing and grab the menu open it. Maybe you don't. But at a minimum you're stealing that of the Lancet who it's from. We are checking into it and see what were doing with text messages and emails all day.

So back to your question, Dave. How do we solve this. How do we take control of when we check messages and not the mailman real real real simple step one you choose ahead of time when you're going to check your messages very very simple. It doesn't matter how many times are going to check in.

If you're in sales or customer service. You have to check your messages a heck of a lot more than I will. As a writer, that's fine. What matters is that you really determine when you're going to check your messages. Step two you build a list of VIPs who can have access to you at all times, not just those predetermined times to check messages. So for me VIPs in my life are my wife, my kids school, my assistant, my pastor a few) that what I do is if your iPhone user address people to the favorites list on your phone if you android user, add them to the people list and then turn your phone on, do not disturb so that you will not be notified of text messages from those people you will not be notified of Notifications you will only be notified of calls from those people rights of step one. Choose when you check your messages step to make a list of VIPs and then step three you just got a set really clear expectations with the VIPs in your life.

Send your family or your friends or your boss or your clients attacks and email. This is the say hey in order to better serve you and my family and my work. I am only checking messages from here on out at X, Y and Z times. However, Dave answered your VIPs in my life.

You can get access to meet any time, but do not text messaging. Do not email me call me on my cell and if I'm available to answer every single time. I've now coached in group coaching situations more than a thousand people through those three steps. Nobody has reported missing anything truly urgent and everybody is reporting doing their work up to twice as fast with a heck of a lot less anxiety. Okay, we got listeners thinking this is what I would think is a woman. How do we incorporate this in a home. Closely related is true. We need to first look at ourselves, but then if you feel like. I think my husband never here. I have meet my teenage kids are constantly on the phones and I don't want to nag them. How do we convince them it's such a good question.

I've experienced this. I know a lot of others who have if you start modeling this behavior yourself though you're fully present at the home, and you're the one sitting on the couch at night watching the movie not checking your phone dear is unspoken and I think somewhat healthy guilt and other people will they notice hundred percent, they say, well, I've experienced that they do when I'm with my family, for example, I love my father doubt if you're listening you're the greatest.

But my dad is always on this phone has been for many many years and he's notice. Jordan is never on his phone around me anymore.

He's fully present and so now when he's with me. He's trying to be more intentional about putting away.

Same thing with my wife. If this is a challenge in your home with your teenagers, etc. start to model it, and I can almost guarantee there's going to be this healthy guilt that setting it amongst the family, then you could talk about it and have an honest conversation about and show other people how to implement these tools so that they can be fully present with one important thing or person at a time like that and I think I could see myself even Dave with you saying hey, what if we both turned off our phones for two hours tonight and we even took it could be even 10 minutes.

This is so attractive. When Dave does this to me when he'll have nothing before hand.

His phone's gone is his devices, computers can't just sit across the table and say how you doing tell me what's going on so I think that's a really good application and my question is how long does it take for a guy like me. I'm thinking of your dad.

Yeah, you know, get along great and I'm sure he would be that I don't know I just know that year or so ago, my seven-year-old granddaughter said Poppy you're on your phone all the time. I looked at her like what you talk about, you know I'm not my phone that much and I'm looking over my wife and she's like shaking her head like finally somebody else's saying what I've said so obviously I have a problem. So might you even as I listen to Mike put the phone away for two hours. How is it possible could you think I need to see that text I need to see that email you did know what's the latest ESPN notification is like no I don't I don't really do it but how long would it take for somebody like me. I'm like a Sam addicted, but you know we all are addicted to make the change can I do it and we can I do it in a month. I've seen many people do this in a week.

I was just talking is a reader the other day who went from an average of 10 hours a day of screen time 10 hours a day to two in a week. That's Norma's life changing change in this person's life by what the message that full presence being fully present to communicate to others as a football guy you love this Dave.

This is great story about Bill Campbell is the greatest executive coach in Silicon Valley history. He was also a peewee football coach and his clients were Steve Jobs, the CEO of Google, the biggest blue-chip CEOs complaint and he would say there was nothing more appealing and attractive to those kids when they would see a call from Steve Jobs on my cell phone and the ignore those kids knew. I love them and I cared about them and I was all in on serving them in a moment.

So whether or not your client is Steve Jobs your Norton people from your church or work whatever in this day and age, being fully present with our kids and our spouse and our work is one of the most valuable presence. We can give to the world and into the people around us. I found it fascinating that you take the life of Jesus and use their government to redeem our timeless take a look at how he did that source was learned from him or what. Where would you start first, we gotta recognize that the Gospels contrary to the way that we typically preach them are not just there for us to learn theology and ethics Matthew Mark Luke and John are biographies of the life of Jesus of Nazareth. He was the author of time, who became flesh shall arrogant of us not to think that we can't learn something about how to steward the same 24 hour day by looking at the Gospels. This of course, Jesus does not walk around the to do list in the first century or smartwatch when you read the gospel biographies they do show Jesus fighting for solitude and dealing with distractions in the end, the temptation not to be fully present. They show in trying to be busy without being hurried there. She dealing with a lot of the same challenges that we face today because he was perfect God. We can assume that he did this perfectly.

So that's why I wrote the book the way I did redeem your time RD seven timeless time management principles from the life of Christ mapped to more than 30 practical practices that help us walk like he walked today in the 21st century and where we start. We also were Jesus started with the word right Jesus prioritize time with the father above sleep above eating above time with his disciples, and if we want to redeem our time for eternal rather than temporal purposes. We gotta do the same place that look like for you to experiment a lot here and I'm always experimenting always change it up so it doesn't become wrote. But the thing that stuck most consistently for me is Martin Luther's method of Bible study so he would take a passage of Scripture and that he would respond to that passage in prayer by writing out for things number one what is the passage instructing me to do. Number two. What is this passage revealing about who God is not complacent for number three. Writing out a confession of where I've fallen short of God's character in the instruction of that passage and then finally number four just an open ended asked asking for the Lord's help to live out that command to live up to his standards through the power the Holy Spirit. So I'm doing that often on for years and I love it.

It just keeps me fully engaged in my time in the word of the mornings. I find I get way too distracted. If I'm not writing something down after reading Scripture. So that's what's working for me, but whatever works for you works. What matters is that we are constantly communing with the father preaching the gospel to ourselves before we seek to go and be productive throughout the rest of the day.

So how does a mom I'm looking at you because you know, I know that when are we our kids were little and you know George you get three younger kids yeah how do you make that a priority. How do you find time word I used to run to the bathroom just to get a break and then they they were touring with me. Yeah, I think that was one of the hardest transitions for me with kids because before having kids. I have my journal out. I have my Bible out and I'm spending time praying, listening, singing, and then I had kids, I'm thinking and my sister we get the 430 morning and night person that having kids and fall asleep at night to so I just learned had to read God's word. I had Bibles all over the house and the car and I would just even if I could get just one in like one verse in or I never encountered so great that you can listen to the word and your kids are around, but I think I've just learned how to be with God in every moment and I talked to him all throughout the day and I try still to get my glimpses and Journal a little bit whenever I got that for a moment. And that's the temptation like do I get my work done or I spend time with God because you want to do both, but I would just say God to give you what I have it you my first offering in a give you this piece of me that I learned how to do it on the fighters that make sense you mean you're the guru of redeeming your time Jordan, so I know about that what you look like in your own you get the little girls you get your wife that she like get up at 430 and later has a work so this was a heck of a lot easier before kids, I know exponentially is that so a few thoughts number one. I do think this looks different seasons of lightning. Some seasons it could look like spending an hour with the word every morning. Some seasons might be reading a verse writing one day of of a devotional plan on you version or something like that. Secondly, I think of the church. We have really neglected and ignored the science that 30% of us are biologically hardwired to be night owls. We talk what time the words always morning obsesses yeah right you feel guilt and then you feel guilty, but it's absurd.

Jesus spent time with the father late at night and very early in the morning. I just can't believe that God cares when exactly. We spent time with. What matters is that we do it in the last thing I would say is that in this the answer. Nobody wants to hear including myself at some point you just gotta make a choice and recognize a trade-off in prioritize this over something that is good but not as good as spending time at the father sought to give kudos to my wife. She just had to make the choice years ago we start having kids that you know what words can go to bed earlier. So I can wake up and spend time with my Lord. Before the little one start running around the house right so again the theater.

Nobody wants to hear. But that's the answer for a lot of us.

We gotta make hard choices, but we also gotta make first things first things and the first thing for Jesus was spending time of the father. How much more so, do we need time with the father before we go about our days. I just remembered that I had a friend that started praying about this because she was realizing she's a part of our our Bible study, and she said I need to be with Jesus and I just want to sleep in until the kids get up and so she started praying Lord wake me up.

Wake me up before my alarm goes off before my kids wake up.

Sure enough, it just he started waking up early… I'm sure that then that became a habit, but I love that she just started waking up, because God longs to be with us and I think to make that a priority. People I am not nice. If I'm not with Jesus if I'm allocated I'm not nice to my kids. But there's something about I love it Jordan, that the word is the priority that would spending time with him.

He longs to be with us and he'll equip us for the day's play Scriptures that talk about how spending time in the word, gives us more time.I do know that were to interpret that literally. But I do think it acts as a force multiplier on our time.

If we think about eternal impact because of the what the word says, then I don't know what God's priorities are in the world so I can be court and put productive at work, but not for eternal things because I don't know what eternal things are, because I know God's mission in the world where I learned so again you if we want to redeem our time for eternal purposes for the things that will last. We got to know God, and know what his word says and do what he's doing in the world what he wants to do in and through us acting as agents of reconciliation in the world. Yet, one of the things that just hit me as your center Jordan and we talked about this in our book vertical marriage and we did a recent reignite your marriage little workouts or a seven-day workout and it was this simple. What would happen in your marriage.

If you spent time with the Lord together.obviously you want to individually were done about that right now but if you took and all we did was say what if you prayed together every day for a minute could be two minutes, three minutes, but one thing was just a commitment to say as a married couple were to spend time with the Lord, which is your first principle first practice to gather again.

I know this couples list right now about to understand.

I can do it by myself. What if the lessee the before he fell asleep was described. He chose Phyllis pray for a minute, it could literally refocus my right yeah it's so funny that you say this because this is exactly what my wife and I do it like were laying in bed were exhausted and but we pray real quick together and I like guilt over that of ESI, and board these prayers look so lame. There's so many, but I do think what you're saying is an encouragement to me because I do think the simple act of holding hands in bed and recognizing that we are submitting world were literally laying down before God and submitting our lives them is the last thing we do before the day is powerful but simple message to preach to each other's a couple into the family. You're listening to David and Wilson with Jordan Rayner on family life today stay with this aunt got one more thing to add the first Jordan's book is called redeeming your time seven biblical principles for being purposeful present wildly productive.

If you or someone you know could use some help with using time. Well, maybe we all can you get a copy@familylifetoday.com not as remember Bob Lapine right guy stole this chair from yellow. He's got a new book out that were really excited about is called build a stronger marriage.

The path to oneness the great book to go through as a couple or maybe you could even go through it with another couple or a group of couples, it's a chance to grow in your marriage and help other marriages grow. We love to send you a copy with your gift this week at family life. You can give@familylifetoday.com or when you call with your donation at 800-358-6329, 800 F's and family L as in life and in the word today.

Right now here's and with one more thought on praying as a couple before bed and add one more thing.

It will help you to sleep better is that the things that were carrying like we are all carrying things in our minds that are heavy and a lot of times if we have kids, it's our kids things are going through things are facing and I know that it helped me a lot to go to sleep when I have prayed and we have prayed together Dave to St. Jesus I give you this child or this grandchild and they are heavy on my heart so will you not to spray quickly. I sleep better at night because I'm not waking up thinking about you. What should you do you know that's really helped such a great example from and really helpful. This is going to sound counterintuitive, but what if you're not getting enough done because you're not getting enough rest. Jordan Rayner will be back to talk about just that tomorrow on behalf of David and Wilson. I'm Shelby Abbott. See you back next time for another edition of family life life today is a production of family life accrued ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most