Gretchen Saffles: Thirsty for more?

A real quick before I pass it to David Mann this is David Robbins, Pres. and family life, and I wanted to take a moment to let you know about an incredible opportunity we have this month of May. Several generous friends of family life have come together to create a matching challenge of them wanting the message of God's word and his help and hope found around marriage and family to go to more people and they want to encourage others to join in and give so that he can go further to more families around the world. There was a message I received recently from a woman named Diane who said you know I started listening to family life to a when I was a new Christian and I saw family like today in your many guest help guide me and strengthen me in my faith walk relationships and parenting and family life today transformed my marriage.

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You can go to family life to a.com to explore the options and your donation will be matched dollar for dollar helping more lives encounter God's word in that moment Christ might be calling me not to pull my laundry but to spend time with my sign needs to hear the gospel needs to have his heart encouraged and comforted he needed calling ETU bank dinner for my neighborhood just had a baby and it's really aligning ourselves instinctively God when he called me to do in this moment and what are the things that I need to surrender and to leave Diane. Welcome to family life where we want to help you pursue relationships that matter most and Wilson and Dave Wilson and you can find his family life today.com or on our family life is family life today okay so we've preached a lot over the years 30 years of preaching that you have what you call a theology of it. The theology of it. You never have I ever heard of it. The reality of it is that I think everybody has this we just don't know we have something that's it, that if we get it will be happy you can go through a journey I go through my whole life ever. When is like six or seven years old. I begged my mom for a stingray biking by member stingray bike.

I had one was like the most exciting was not in it as it was not. It now while in your leg will then anyway you could through a whole life.

I remember when I got the high school is like if I could get a college scholarship that I got it and I thought it was it in for a moment it is and you go through all that and honey. I gotta say I thought at one point you were late and I'm not what happened. Your amazing, but there's no thing or person, or amount of money that can be it.

But you sorta think that's I called the theology of it.

If I just have it. Then I'll be happy. So here's the question, is there and it I think so. I mean I think that's where were going today but I think Jesus is the it and when we find Ken he really is the fulfiller of our soul of our story of everything that I think every other search will leave us empty.

Not saying those things are bad there are highly wonderful. Even you and our marriage is awesome but it isn't the end of the well.

It's like were still searching for something. I just brought up a word. I now that will introduce our guest today extraction's houses with that's gotten welcome to family life to a thank you for having been so looking forward to this where excited you sent over there smile, and I'm guessing you have a theology of it all, absolutely. I mean, you're saying that I'm going through my mind and thinking of all the it that had progressed over my life all dance that I thought I just had that being or unit was in this season of my life of fulfillment and joy and finally the piece that I'm longing for and then you get back thinking and it falls apart really fast when that person that you wanted to take notice of you. They disappoint you, or that thing you wanted to accomplish.

Well, yeah.

You've accomplished it. There's more that you need to do right background on the theology Dave yes absolutely it's infinite is infinite. If you just keep looking and it leads as to nothing.

I mean, it goes back to Ecclesiastes and Solomon preaching that all these aspects. When you do have Jesus that was it in this life. They actually become something that makes us enjoy him more. He is the well that only satisfies and never ends dry and I've come to realize that those things in my life actually can enjoy them more when my fulfillment is in Christ when my satisfaction is inherent in all that he's done for me what you've written a book about this really is kind of it theology away. It's called the well water woman and you are the creator of give me Jesus quiet time. You're the founder of this global online women's ministry called well water women and a mom mom and pregnant right so you got two boys at home yet 1/3 boy third girl wow girl that maybe that's it. I think that maybe it really no need cutting back to that.

I always dreamed of having a girl and when I found out the first time I was having a boy. I was sad I meant to be totally honest with like slot. It was girl and I had this bully and I fell in love with him. Then the second time around pregnant I'm I'm like this is a girl find out it's a boy.

The day I just went I was going. Lord, I thought this was going to be a good rule and had had to show me pride my fingers open it. That was my it. I thought I just have this this little girl that always dreamed.

I'm going to have the satisfaction you know that theology speaks in the way that you just don't realize until something exposes it and you realize you know for me it was realizing okay.

I'm in a be a boy, mom, and God exposing that I had really idolized having a girl really idolized that and that and the gifts that God is giving me good gifts, and the greatest gift of all is to know Jesus it's not to have the things I want in this world because he knows that they're not going to satisfy.

We live in a world that's broken we pump their brokenness and even those things that we get that. We think this is it.

You know, in the end it's not think what you're saying is important because even though in the theology of it again set a preacher for 30 years, people my church like all days going into his theology Witte get everywhere.

Even if you know it we still do all that we know Jesus is it. And yet it's like oh yeah but if I get five more RPMs yet were five more feet or a thousand more square feet we end up still thinking and then you, like you said some help as we go yeah when my doing.

I think we as women can do it, especially in relationships like you're talking about a child or a husband or spouse and it is this drift. I got new Jesus. I had Jesus, but I feel like when I was taking my eyes off of him automatically go to and for me it was you Dave thinking if you would just get your stuff together yet. If you would act like this, or if you would do this if our marriage could look like this. Then I could be happy with this slow little drift and I think that's how our walk with God can be. It's just a slow pulling away. We don't even realize it, but suddenly for finding and looking for something else besides him and so let's kind of get into this is in some ways this is what well water woman is right exactly that. What is a well water woman and I'm guessing it would be the same as a well watered man yes E so first you to go into what is it mean not to be a well watered woman are a well watered man. And really, if life apart from Christ living the dried-up life that seeking after the fruitless things of this world that we think will satisfy we think will give us joy and contentment and peace in all the things that are in our hearts. There's is void this in our hearts for more, and it can only be satisfied in Christ our Savior and still apart from Christ were seeking were striding were looking around for all these things, and yet it leads to nothing.

It leads to vanity, but in Christ. When we come to know him.

When we come to the end of ourselves. We find everything inherent and so the well watered woman is rooted deeply in God's word. Her identity is in her maker not in the things that she can accomplish all that he has done on the cross for her and she can set aside this empty pursuit of striving and trying to measure at to the standards of this world that are impossible or impossible. Even the standards that we place for ourselves any. We see that we cannot, Christ is the one who did everything he lived the life we couldn't live. He died the death we deserved to die in order that we can have true abundant life in him. And so to live the well watered life is to realize that we are nothing apart from him and think this world has to offer really is meaningless to know Christ and to drink deeply from his word and to live out the gospel in our life and for our hope to not be in the things that are in the present.

But in heaven and being with our Savior with our God for ever.

That's the hope that roots ice and keeps us going in this world, let's talk about why that doesn't happen, you know, because I'm listening I yes and I'm sure our listeners are like, yes, yes, but it can also be hard so hard to know.

So let's talk about that, even for you.

Talk about having panic attack on a plane take us back there you knew Jesus at this time. Dead. So what happens that we are living this life that Jesus has promised us even as a believer, we can get caught in this pursuit of more. Even the pursuit of ministry in the name of Jesus. Yeah, we do so many things for Jesus and forget that he calls us to be with him and I actually was just journaling this week because I was having this feeling I'm so behind. I look at my every woman on the planet. Yeah.

Oh my goodness, you and I got two young kids at home. I you know I rented a team in a ministry in a business, I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant and is even looking at house. I was telling literally can't keep up with the laundry and just like went out and as I was just praying about it and kinda laying out all of these things that I was feeling behind on.

I wrote down that you cannot fall behind. When you are following Jesus is just that right there. Cannot fall behind.

We are in step with him.

He doesn't call us to have perfectly folded laundry every single day to do every single thing and you know in that moment Christ might be calling me not to pull my laundry but to spend time with my son who needs to hear the gospel, who needs to have his heart encouraged and comforted he may be calling you to bake dinner for my neighbor who just had a baby and it's really aligning ourselves each dangling God, what have you called me to do in this moment and what are the things that I need to surrender and to leave I'm dying. There's a quote just about how the Christian life is about knowing what to leave Undine and really it is a yeah it's going what I leave behind Jesus so I can follow you faithfully today and he doesn't leave us behind.

He doesn't go up. You are going to slow. I cannot keep up with you like you are just too slow is a matter that we go to in this role, yes, is that pandemic that everybody spacing is this pandemic of hustle and hurry and keeping and social media is not helping Bharat because were connected all the time with people and what they're doing and we lose connection with our Savior and how do you women let things go because you know I hear that from two women sit in the studio and I think for a guy. Sometimes it's I can lay on the couch and watch a game and I'm watching her run around doing laundry doing everything I should be of help and I really should, but I think it is a hard game. I know for life, not me either by my watch and it's really hard for her to let something drop weathers the kids meals food, you name it. Yes and Gretchen, your say why. So how young women, especially in your book for women right. How do you put the priority right where okay you know what the laundry doesn't matter right now. Sometimes my son does you know that yet.

How do you do that yet. Do you do that not all the time you want to be completely honest, it's hard. It's a day by day surrender to the Lord. One of the things that I was thinking about recently is I've a very busy life and I know everybody listening talking to you guys.

We all have our own busy lives, but I was actually reading my Bible the other day and it was so hard to make myself stop. I mean I just would like you need to do all of these other things that I know this is important and I mean I'm reading in second Samuel right now to so it's not even like I'm writing something that I'm going okay the Lord can speak to me right now.

Shall reading about Absalom rebelling against David, but even after I spent that time with the Lord. I just realized this is the nonnegotiable. I mean, my heart was ready for the day after just stopping and realizing that the world can they keep spinning. God can keep things in motion. If I am not doing constantly.

He calls me to be still and that's where he guides my stats and so it's really unit we see in Scripture.

This importance of walking in step with the Holy Spirit and I think that in the Christian life. We can think that you spent time with Jesus you know where you go to church.

You shut your Bible, and then you move on with your life. But really, I mean you even look to the disciples.

They walked with Jesus, the highly yeah you and Al really besought him and we also see that they didn't do this perfectly, we see them wandering.

We see them questioning we see them, you know, even interrupting Jesus when he goes away to be alone with the father. And so we can learn from this example that we come to him. This is what it's all about abiding in Christ and you know in John 15, when Jesus is talking to the disciples, telling them what it means to abide in Christ to abide in him.

This is in the middle of his farewell discourse before he takes on the cross and so you're looking at these words. These were so important, he wanted them to know got to know this before I go that you can only survive, he can only live a fruitful life. If you're writing and remaining in me.

If you're making your home and me. So it's this constant communication with the Lord. I mean sometimes it's this simple prayer just Jesus, help me yeah help me know what to do right now or help me let go of this striving this feeling like I'm behind on everything and I feel like I'm behind because I want life to be perfect, and easy or because I'm comparing myself to somebody who I think their life is perfect and easy.

Well, I think what can happen to is we can feel like I'm falling behind and I can say this to. I feel like I'm failing and I can generally slip into then I'm a failure for it. Then it slips into identity issues and they talk about these identity issues you call them identity roots that was interesting to talk about the rotten roots. What are those rotten identity routes. We say or believe you're listening to David and Wilson with Gretchen Saffold's on family life to bring here Gretchen's response in just a minute, but first I want to let you know about a special group of people who make conversations like today's possible, the called family life partners is community of people who believe in our mission and give financially every month and thanks to some generous partners right now. If you sign up to give monthly.

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Those are exposed.

We start to realize was in a satisfying and you know our life is constant sanctification. God is constantly working chiseling in our heart. Uprooting these rotten beliefs you know thinking that I have to be perfect all the time, or God's can it be disappointed. Any and he can abandon me. That's a rotten route and going back to you.

The panic attacks because he mentioned that about the plane and I know that there's somebody listening who is dealing with that. It's so common and I had a lot of rotten roots that I was believing at that time I felt like I had to do everything and I had to do it well so I was a young mom had a one year old. We were taking him on a mission trip overseas because I and I was working constantly. We actually were about to have a foreign exchange student come live with us.

I mean, we really doing it are doing everything we were doing it all and they were good things. Yeah, exactly.

I was doing ministry. My husband and I were in ministry. We were going on a mission trip serving Jesus. We were serving Jesus and yet had this rotten roots of I have to do it all and I have to do it perfectly and you know if it's a good thing then that's a yes okay today a good thing and it's a yes but that's a lot. I'm serving Jesus and I have to do it all.

If I don't. What then it's not going to happen and things are going to fall apart such a lie. We begin to think that we are the Savior that if we are not doing the work. If were not reaching out to people if were not writing or speaking or sharing or encouraging then held yeah and can easily slip into our thinking or you know leading Bible study at church. If I'm not doing it. Who's going to do it if I'm not volunteering whose can volunteer that so interesting. I was a young mom and I was leading and started our women's ministry, church, and I really felt God was saying. I want you to take this time away and I want you just focus on your boys. I think I think CJ had just turned 13 and so our youngest was eight and I was telling this woman. She was a mentor of mine.

She came into town and I said I just feel like I don't do this. It's going to fall apart and she looks at me and she said wow, you must really be something I said lady mean she goes.

If God can't replace you. You must really piece for so conflicted.

Next day I was like I'm done. It was so sweet because I remember my eight-year-old saying I'm sorry you not doing that and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with working moms like were all called and were doing things that God's call. This too, but I remember him saying thank you for doing that for me was like glass goodness and so I think that's important though to realize like God's got you and God can fulfill these things. Even if you're not there doing it all day watching and in that moment two things I shouldn't say the first, but I'll be honest. The first was known wrong.

We need you. Your she was building and call rentable women's ministry. I watch her like you are incredible leader of women. Yet thousands of women mobilize in our church for this ministry and then the other thought was I can see was doing to our family.

I can see was doing to you can see what the boys use this all mom does is walk around the kitchen where the phone with corded phone so when we literally got an extended cord that would go like 20 feet in our kitchen him like that's a bad sign.

Yeah, you know, and when your kids are saying that that and she did. The next day she quit.

I mean, when you know that nobody replace me for a while yet because we are all young moms are all busy people are working and so but I mean it still later thrived and got control and that God didn't you all know, it's amazing when we shift God can do without sin. He's not doing if you stop doing this. It can fall apart as people come to know me cell you see in ministry to start thinking and just life in general that if I don't do this not happen.

How did you get the panic attack mean is that something that the decision to change the way you thought and got find find life chairs that years of decisions years. This is not something that just and sometimes God does this miraculous work. Nobody's life and you know that just all the sudden Nina data set clicks and they walk in freedom from addiction in front panic from anxiety but that's not what it was for me. It weighs this slow uprooting and there were several other things that happened in my life and those coming years that it felt like things were just unraveling all of my edits that I thought I had email.

Oh I'm in ministry.

That's my it like God is God providing got this great marriage that's my it. I have a little boy that I love. That's not it. And you know I'm healthy.

That's not it, but then all these things started to just unravel my health started to unravel. I want to read some of these rotten roots because I think every listener will be able to relate to some quantities. One of them is what others think of you is more important than what God thinks of you a man. Another is you have to mask your hurt with a happy face. True beauty is determined by your weight, skin color and size. Another one is in order to be successful you must be constantly productive and never take a break. I mean, I think all of us can relate to one of those at one point or another in our lives.

Yes, for sure. When I was writing those in pinpointing then it was because those are all the ones that I believed yeah that's what I struggled with.

I struggled with that. When I was in the throes of panic attacks. When I walked through an eating disorder. All of those rotten roots.

They eventually manifest in our actions and in the things that we are dealing our thoughts and the things that we are believing will actually change how we act, the decisions that we make and so we want our thoughts to be prudent in God's word. We went back to be what comes out in our lives.

And so it's God's grace to expose these rotten greens working to continue this conversation but if you had to do one application for listeners what would you say I would encourage them to not be afraid to expose the rotten roots had somebody I remember even when I was walking through it being so ashamed of my rotten roots that I had believed because I'm a Christian.

And so we have to believe these shouldn't be struggling with this and I was so ashamed. It kept me from fellowship and from true freedom in Jesus. So I would encourage people not to be ashamed. God already knows he already loves you in Christ Jesus, and he has set you free but you can't be free while you're in hiding exposure. We find freedom in Christ and thinking of Isaiah 53 five retention by his wounds we are healed is wounding was for our healing.

That's David Wilson talking with Gretchen's apples on family life to get a copy of Gretchen's book well watered woman@familylifetoa.com or by calling 1-800-358-6329 the 2000 F as in family L as in life and in the word today. If you know of anyone who needs to hear today's important conversation you can share it from wherever you get your podcasts and while you're there. It really help if you rate and review us so that we actually spend time reading the Bible and have our spiritual batteries refilled when life is busy and you have young kids at home seems impossible right sometimes or all the time doesn't it will tomorrow.

Dave and Nan are going to be talking again with Gretchen's apples to help you get on the solution side of getting time in the word when life is busy and with little ones in the home that's coming up tomorrow. We hope you can join us on behalf of David and Wilson. I'm Shelby Abbott will see you back next time for another edition of family life to day of family accrue ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most