Robert Wolgemuth: Running Your Last Lap Well

Life is a vapor there's a brevity this thing and I may have been kind of sloppy years.

But when you know this could be the end. This could be the last letter running you get really intentional, you should really intent. Welcome to family life today where we want to help you.

The relationships that matter mouth and will and Dave Wilson and you can find his way we live today.com or on our family life, family life, so a lot of people don't know about Ian Wilson is before you are in Wilson you were quite the Trakstar and you're laughing you and you have records back in Ohio in high school, maybe not. Records have maybe now I think they're all broken.

By now you don't know what. I guess what your event was when you ran them all, but you are the hurdles hurdles but the race that was the deadliest race for me was the last event of the track meet. And it was the 4 x 400.

Not only was it that race that I had the last leg of that rate which means you're the star you're the closer your the fastest, I felt so much fresher and so this one.

Meet now getting into it. I have this one. Meet and working out compete against this little school but because it was this little school they had a terrible track and see had to put spikes in your track shoes and they were really long spikes because they didn't have a good track and so I had the last leg, which is the last lap around the track and the girls coming in were behind and so I had the baton to have my arm outstretched to get the baton and that girl coming toward me on my team steps on the top of my foot in mind you, these these spikes in the shoes were probably 1/2 inch long and it was in a leather shoe. It was this real flimsy fabric that Spike goes into my foot and I can't move because I'm pinned to the ground. Finally, she lifts her foot. I'm so far behind and I start sprinting to know what I don't know the end of the story, yes.

But here's my guess because I know the spirit of my wife, you one I'm getting is a if you know you did when we one yeah corseted but as I'm running. I just happened to look at my foot was killing me. My entire shoe is soaked with blood, but everyone knows that last flop is the most important lab because it determines if you win or lose not only the race but sometimes if you're tied it determines if you win entire me at all I know is that's why I married you and you already get it done no matter how hard or how painful it is you are going to finish it. There is a word start is crazy program with a track story is we have an author with us today. Who's a good friend who wrote a book.

It's sort about track will explain a bit about Robert welcome and thank you for being with us something like today. Thank you Dave, thank you and I did know that about you and but I'm not surprised there's a smile your lap like Robert you feel like I did. I was nervous for all those spikes are like meals.

Yeah, sharp. Oh yes will you've written a book which is why we came up with that story called Dunlap the subtitle staying in the race with purpose will get into the content of your book in a minute but I just want to say for a listers they don't know a lot about our connection through our son Austin but I did not know you written 26.5 killed a lot of about it.

That's crazy. I did know this. You went to college just down the road from where I went to college at Ball State with the daily University even got a doctorate there honorary doctorate you had an amazing career in the publishing world is a literary agency and that's how we got so somewhat connected to my son Austin told fellow listeners a little bit how you and Austin but I love that story. So I'm in a meeting with a guy named Paul Santos who is the publisher of Moody publishing Moody press in Chicago and is telling me that he teaches a class for seniors who are in publishing communications is a major.

I said man I would love to be a guest teacher. He said, well, let's do that. I said I'll be an agent right to see that editors and people who work in production and so forth. So he'd never had an agent so I said you know what I'm to pull up in a black limousine to get out with like diamonds on all of my fingers in a white scarf over my shoulder. He said none of the anyway so I had the joy of teaching a class at Moody with seniors right wide-eyed seniors men and women.

I noticed this young man as I was teaching and he was paying close attention yet little laptop and he was taking voracious notes. So when we finished with the conversation I said to Paul, tell me about Austin because we're going around the room and introduced ourselves to each other and sometimes I do my best to remember names. I said tell me about Austin. He said well he grew up in Detroit is that he was the pastor of church church planting entrepreneurial kind pastor guy and so he grew up in the pastor's home and he's been a student here is married. I said, you know, would you just tell him that I asked about him and anyone anymore.

I wanted this to come as an inspiration from this young man if he was interested in talking to me in 20 minutes.

I'm not giving in 20 minutes. I get a text from Austin Wilson and that began a short journey that actually ended with inviting Austin to join my company as a literary agent. He had a chance actually the next day to meet my colleagues Andrew Walter Moos and Eric Waldman's were actually my brothers sons there. My nephews and so that was 10 years ago 11 years ago. Maybe Austin has been a precious addition to our team and because he and Kendall were in Chicago we move them right away to Orlando where I lived with my late wife, Bobby, and it was a really really sweet time and that wasn't all sweet and wonderful. I mean, we introduced him to a new business but then during those years. Austin Kendall lost two babies and we were right in the middle of their lives. During that time so it was it was a really precious time. They eventually then moved back to Denver and I moved to Michigan. That was not a penalty that I did this on purpose but anyway that's Austin. So we talk every day on the phone and collaborate on the clients that were working with on publishing projects so he's an amazing gift to me. I love them. It was really sweet Robert because I remember when you decided you and Bobby interviewed both Austin and Kendall adding him to Florida and I remember Austin calling us saying you guys this is such a gift from God.

This is my dream job and so just right out of college. That's pretty unusual and he is loved working with you.

Robert yet incredible reputation and Bobby dear late wife really poured into and mentor Kendall and with your book. As you're talking about. Dunlap explained that I quit is Dunlap sure my introduction to gun lab and happen my senior year at Taylor University. The athletic director Ashley asked my roommate who was a phys ed major if you get some buddies together they we are hosting the conference track meet. So, my roommate Steve said, would you be and I said are you kidding, that sounds fantastic.

So I got to know rake the pit for the high jump of the pole vault or whatever right into like timing stuff that was for the professionals but the last race was the two-mile, and we climbed up to the tower they gave me permission to climb the tower, so I was up there watching this race.

It's eight laps around a quarter-mile track, and at the beginning of the race. You got all these runners right on the starter raises his arm and pulls the trigger and the gun goes off of the race begins. So then you watch it round and round eight times at the start of the final lap. The starter steps back out and puts his arm in the air and fires the gun again so I said to the guys there who knows track. I said what was that he said that's the Dunlap that signals that the lead runner has started his last lap MS Dunlap so all year and half ago I started dreaming about writing a book and there were things will talk about a few minutes but things that led to my wondering about the rest of my life and the idea of the metaphor of the gun lab came back and I thought that is a perfect metaphor for this book is not a book about dying. It is a book about running and running. Well, that last lap in our lives. And so that's why the book is called Dunlap it's interesting you know you sent the book to me of a month or so ago maybe couple months when he came out and I can put it down, you know, in some ways I don't think I'm in love Dunlap, but you never know. Do you you Cody in the final lap when he is we don't know you're very kind. Actually, even though your Florida in Florida and I'm in Michigan just you saying you couldn't put it down. If I could I get up and kiss you right because that's the ultimate for an author to hear because it's so easy to lay a book down right and so that that means a lot. I preheated what you know the first thing I did, obviously, when I picked it up as I look at the chapter titles and then I read your dedication which I read again last night, which is so interesting you dedicated to a young man who died when he was 20 and you even say at the beginning. You know it's interesting to dedicate a book about living fully to the end your life. Hopefully a long life to dedicate to a young man who is in his 20s, but I want to read.

I want you to comment as you wrote at the beginning what his dad said about his son Nick at the memorial service.

I will read the whole thing, but his dad said this, each one of us is given a race to run some are called to run along race summer called the run, just a short race. What matters is not how long the races but how well we run it. It's God's business to determine how long that race will be. It's our business to determine how well will run it, let me tell you is so much better to run a short race. Well then along race poorly, that's a great way to start a book about finishing strong growth. Actually, Nick's parents, Eileen and Tim Charlie's are good friends of ours and when the news that Nick had died just as a student at Boyce College in Louisville. He just dropped dead he was with his buddies, his friends, he just drop dead so we went through a lot of the grief of all of that and then I had a chance to watch live. The memorial service and when his daddy said that I thought you know what I want to dedicate a book about running your last lap to a man in his 20s, because we never know we never know when were running the last lap, which is another good reason to run well know if you kinda knew it say well okay I'll hang out I'll be lazy. Whatever. Now it's the last lap.

Now go to pick up the pace.

We don't know that I couldn't help myself. I wanted to dedicate the book to neck, who I never met a medium in heaven, but because I love his parents so much and realize just the incredible pain of losing them so early but when his dad said that at the service. I thought I got a put that in the dedication what you think about finishing well.

I've often said to younger men in my life. You know, I can't see the finish line. I would say that my 30s I say that my 40s. I'm starting to say now I think I can see the finish line and I am sort of joking because I don't know we don't know.

But you know when you enter your 60s and your around that age. Maybe a little older, you start to realize and feel the brevity you feel the criticalness of every day mattering. I member Dennis Rainey saying to me when I turned 60 I got tell our listeners how Lambert is couple years ago. He said to me when I turned 60 said this will be the best decade of your life and I laugh. I thought he joking right those little decades are behind me.

He meant like this Estes the 70s or 70s to 80s can be the best years of your life if you finish will also talk about that you been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Robert welcome both on family life to date hear Robert's response in just the first family life in a is listener supported. That means we rely on generous gifts.

Listeners like you and all this week when you give any amount to family life to as our thanks will send you a copy of Sam all berries book what God has to say about our body. You can give securely online@familylife.com or you can give us a call with your donation at one 800-3583 29. Again the number is one 800 F peasant family L as in life, and then the work today right now. Let's get back to Damien's conversation with Robert. Dennis is right, and I'm actually into the next decade. I'm in my 70s. I'm 73 and really the book is not about dying.

It's about running that last lap and actually just the kind lift the veil. I am working on the next book and it is about dying. It's called finish line.

But this is about living so what are you going to do with these years, and as Dennis said, they can be your best years, but they also can be very hard years because then we talk about this in the book, your body doesn't do what it used to be able to do just for starters, and you can get really frustrated. You may have high expectations for yourself. You may have been an athlete and you can't do that anymore.

Just simple things, climbing stairs or you get sick and you realize life is a vapor there's a brevity to this thing and I'm I may have been kinda sloppy with certain years. But when you know this could be the end.

This could be the last lap you're running you get really intentional. You should get really intentional and that's really what I wanted say in this book that I'm right. In fact I would say Dave, you just about wheelhouse for this book and people asked me that question, I would say 55 to 65.

His wheelhouse because you're going to be good to go through some transitions you may retire from your job. Those kinds of things. The lights go on in many cases with guys saying you know what my life is about to change a minute maybe no longer go to the office every day.

One of the things I talk about is when you're working, you got colleagues you're in constant contact with them.

Your inbox is filled your texts fill up every day your phone rings and you cross that line.

That stuff gets quiet, and you're going. I realize those weren't necessarily my friends they were my colleagues who loves me now what what am I supposed to do with these years of my life so I totally embrace with what Dennis Rainey is saying about the best years. What I would say is you can't coast into them. You have to be intentional. That's a big deal when I say I hear you talk about that I'm thinking of your late wife body and she passed away. How many years ago was that she passed away 2014 October 28, 2014 and this is significant for Dave and I because Austin our son and his wife Kendall were very involved in Kendall would say that Bobby was her mentor and so as I think about her. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and I think it be easy to have a pity party at that point when you know I'm not only on my last lap.

I'm on my last quarter of the lab right and it would be really easy to just kinda check out you know like wow this is really hard this is. Before I thought that I would be ending my race and yet he continually poured into winning according to your daughters poured into your grandchildren to the very point where Austin and Kendall went to the hospital to have their first daughter after having it was actually three miscarriages and so they had had I living you guys had prayed for them to have a baby for those several years because I had gone through so much pain that I remember Austin in Kendall saying after Olive was born on October 22 were not to go home right away working. I stop in St. Robert and Bobby because they have been praying for us. They've been praying for our daughter, our baby and we want Bobby to hold Olive and we want them to pray over her before she goes to see Jesus.

And that was significant because I mean when Austin Kendall told us like they cried to have Bobby's hands on Olive praying over her was one of the most meaningful things you talk about Dunlap and finishing well. I know for our family.

That was an incredible blessing. I know she was that first so many more. And so talk about that a little bit. How did she keep that perspective I finishing so well, thanks to the wonders of technology.

I knew the Kendall and Austin and all of work coming to our house and so I actually videotape the whole thing a video the whole thing. So I've got Kendall and Austin and Alden the little carrier coming in our door, her back door and then coming over and hearing Bobby from her hospital bed in the living room just exclaiming just the life giggling about this chance and I'd I have video of them walking over to her hospital bed pulling all of carefully out of the carrier handing her to Bobby Bobby reaching out her at that point, bony, feeble arms and just just squealing with delight holding this child and so you know all his birthday is five days before Bobby's death day but it's those two. They will be forever connected to each other so that was such a God thing you guys just the sweetness that the Lord allowed Bobby to live long enough to hold this little baby. The visual that I'm seeing now because I looked at that video just two days ago of Bobby reaching out her arms from her hospital bed and and Austin carefully letting this child in Bobby's arms you know it's Anna and Simeon. That's what I would think of when I see that holding Jesus in the temple, and exclaiming what the light it was to hold this child and that was really very much was a Simeon and Anna moment when Bobby got to hold this little baby. You know as well as anybody. Robert you know is parent you prayer whole life that when your son or daughter becomes a man or woman husband-wife still have mentors community in their life that will point them to Jesus and you and Bobby have been that for our son and daughter-in-law for us in Kendall in here and used talk about that moment, 101, an answer to prayer and you know you said earlier books written for you know men in their 40s, 50s, but it's actually for €20 and 30-year-olds because the way Bobby finished her gun lab has been an inspiration and a model for my son and daughter-in-law and many others how to do life how to live for Jesus from the birth of Olive from you know those the starting lab to the very end and I don't even know if you'll ever know what a blessing you two have been to our family because you live so well and modeled for our own son and daughter-in-law. Thank you for saying that they've got one of the really important points of gun lab is what you're describing now and I know I'm overwhelmed really humbled with the kind things that you're saying this isn't just about my life. It's about what I'm doing with my life as it relates to younger men. So the chance to have somebody in my life like your son Austin and to be able to pour into him and you talk about a man with a teachable spirit, a man whose meat you can set your watch by his attitude. It's the same it's upbeat, teachable, kind, happy, pleasant, smart, all those things. This is Austin Wilson.

And so the Lord gave me this young man who actually set up his office in my home in Orlando and we had several years back. I really took a trip after that that I didn't have Austin be my colleague my traveling companion be my GPS in my rental car or whatever and so that's the great joy you guys know this so well the stewardship of your life poured into younger people brings you more joy than it did when you first experienced it yourself. And so that's that's the chapter called Carl why a nice ROI return on investment so that you know the truth is that I will in my lifetime. I won't really know the impact that Bobby had in Olive's life are really in Kendall in Austen's life. That's kind of just paying it forward.

You do what you can, you fail transparently you confess when it's time for that.

And you also aren't afraid to say this is the way you do this your you know you got an apprentice who is watching what you do. Which by the way, you know this so well when that videocamera is running in this younger person is watching you recording you that impacts that that transforms actually how you act and how you live so it's a two way gift is a gift to the younger person, but it's also a gift to you that the things that you may think of doing or be tempted to do when you got a traveling companion that fixes all of that. This is Titus to this is passing on to younger people men demand women to women life on life, mentoring, and the joy that you have when you get a little older you are smarter, but you're more experienced, which means you've made more mistakes and learn from them so that's a big part of this whole Dunlap looking for people to mentor and sometimes mentoring is kind of intimidating word like I got to go through some program. You know, multiple weeks in a row with no not necessarily it stuff you that's caught not necessarily taught so that's the great joy of being this age of the Lord is taught me things and I failed and I've confessed sin and now I have something to say something that a younger person can learn from. And so what. What a joy in this case I got to do this with your kid. Sorry Austin your inner man and and now he's doing it with younger people.

We talk every single day in our business and often there over with friends with little kids playing whatever, but I know young men who are watching your son and saying when I grew up going to be like that, which helps Austin be more of a man of God, all that stuff is so sweet, yet it's a beautiful visual of whether you're in the first lap or the last lap and again we don't know if it's our first, middle or less, someone's watching and your life matters right here, right now, not just for yourself but for that person watch and whether it's your son or daughter or neighbor a stranger. It doesn't matter live each day like it's your gun lab. Incidentally way that you leave a legacy that honors Christ even listening to Damon and Wilson with Robert Waukomis on family life today you can get a copy of Robert's book gun lab finishing your race with grace@familylifetoday.com thought that maybe the best years of our marriage are behind us can be a really discouraging thought.

What if your marriage to get better and better as you get older and older brother Morgan will be back again tomorrow with David and Wilson to continue that conversation. We hope you can join us on behalf of Avon and Wilson. I'm shall be at sea back next time for another edition of family life today. Family life today is a production of family accrued ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most