Dean Inserra: Does God Want Us to Be Happy?

Before we get started thank our listeners.

Thank you, thank you part of your partners but we also had a favor to ask you.

I wish they could be sitting right here and deal with this.

I feel like we look great across the table and I envision you here with is and what I think you're referring to is the say thank you to those that have become family partners, which means monthly financial supporters of this ministry. I love that all of our listeners invest their time and energy to listen to us, but we really need you yeah I love you but I don't know this, but we survive and thrive through monthly donations or yearly donations that people say I want to be a part of this ministry. I want more people's lives and families and legacies be transformed like mine. And so they jump in financially and here's an amazing thing. If you jump in, like maybe never done this, you will jump in right now become a family life partner with us.

Your donation will be doubled for a whole year and were looking for monthly partners.

What you give will be doubled every single month.

And so we invite you in fact I admonish you join us this matters what we do, what you get to share with other matters and we can't do this without you. So you can go to family life today.com and say I want to be a partner.

I'm going to jump in and jump in with us right now and we have something to give back to you critical benefits that you can find out if Amalek today.com get all the details right there. So one of my most vivid memories of you as a mom raising our boys. I'm so interested to hear what this is. It could be anything. I know I mean you are an active boy about which was awesome.

But no, seriously, and I am sort of bears bring this up because it should be me doing this but it was you doing this running the stadium steps at the high school with our boys yeah and tell them to suck it up and get up is that yes you weren't there. And so, somehow, I wasn't there any meaner over the years I become mean I was there one time. No it wasn't me that all the vivid memories you push in our boys ask SME welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationship that matter most and I'm Dave Wilson and you can find us@familylifetoday.com or on our family life, family life today while they were little. They were high school will and they were getting ready for football and so I think a good work ethic is really important that the value in our home used to say the W in Wilson stands for, work hard, and I think it easy when your kids whine and complain. It's so easy to give in because were tired of the whining and complaining and some like and at least I did it with them because it was hard to know that's the member you are up, you counted up the steps and you come on let's go well and there is a runner right behind one always just whining. I'm like why coach when your whole time that it's great that it wasn't dead doing this. It was mom doing this, but it brings up something to talk about today, which is what are we passing on to our children. Whether it's work hard or our faith or our theology, you name it.

What is the characteristic in your home that you're in a pass on your junk is now our kids are grown, they have kids of their own. And that's going to go on, and so we got the perfect guy in the studio with us today to talk about football. That's what I want to talk to the Dean, and Sarah is with us. He's a pastor in Florida, but I got say do not follow you on Twitter on Facebook. You know the stuff your football guys well football I don't.

There is also what parking course you're in Tallahassee so are you seminal I am not actually I see it is good practice and being in the world but not of it. Miami hurricane fair fourth-generation older living in Tallahassee Florida where I grew up which is major territory for state why Miami my grandfather first went to his first Miami game in 1956 and my house, boys are the holders of the fourth generation of the season tickets so it's off there was a all is critical so you know, even as you hear a story about, you know, sort of. Our boys become in high school football players and a mom doing that. I knew you could relate to it right now a lot of fun and it grace lastly would find my first yeah I coasted to our local high school and it was just it was just a joy, but all course work it off when I hear talk about football today which I could do. You could, you know, this is this is all going to get edited out because I know but where to talk about some much more important.

Dean is a pastor in Tallahassee of city church and wrote a really interesting book which I think is is got a great title.

Getting over yourself trading. Believe in yourself religion for Christ centered, Christianity is really interesting because it's not really a parenting marriage book, but it applies big-time to parenting a marriage and family. What were talk about what you're passing on to your generation as you try to make disciples in your home to talk about a little bit about the. The premise behind why you wrote this book called new prosperity gospel artists seem infiltrated in all different areas of life, especially in the church is assume our young people are college students go to church where I pastor old prosperity gospel Osceola still exists become a traditional just by but would put it is the ultimate health and wealth ideally got want to be healthy.

Get your debt and make you wealthy about kind of idea of the new prosperity gospel is not the opposite of that. It's very cool story tributaries up. It's very polished. It's very social media savvy rather talking. The guy wants to be healthy and wealthy.

Got almost exist to be the one that helps you reach your personal potential of the self-help sort of idea of Christianity to God's a life coach type a figure of it exist to want to make your greatest dreams come true and receive my message and really I think filter all over the Christians in America and I think we need to pay attention to it because I think a discipleship crisis could be coming get our hands around exactly what's being taught what you mean by discipleship crisis with this area. What could happen yeah I worry for the full results.

This could still fairly new, but I worry for a generation, especially who were maybe whole. God promises that he never made the Scriptures not see God telling us that he exist for personal happiness that he wants us to achieve our wildest dreams. No prophecy of your wildest dreams. I want to be a pastor of a local church.

My entire life I'm living my drinking friend of mine by God for that abut God and promised me that I wasn't able to do that so I was worried that a crisis could be coming when people believe that God exists for them to have their say moment the sun best life now for the rest of their life but doesn't actually happen with having think about God when it takes place in their life.

You think this is a Western mentality of the culture of I get this happening in other parts of the world.

What would make sense. I don't think other parts of the world. Another prosperity old prosperity gospel is happening other parts of the world because the desperate people are often vulnerable towards the false falsehoods and toward half-truths, messaging us if you are living in severe severe poverty, severe famine what. Whatever the situation could be with lack of natural resources is whatever could be and then you're told the God wants to be healthy and wealthy are vulnerable to want to give that messaging disorder messaging here would never make sense to her brother and sisters being persecuted and close countries of the gospel only works in a Western culture of Western affluent culture is only closest actually what the self-help gospel to happen.

I remember think I'm right reading not a fan by Kyle item in a grade years ago and he's been on our our program and I think it's in the beginning of the book in your eyes pastor for 30 years so I really I related the story said he remembered a guy who stopped coming to his church and he said in a comment of why stop coming or something.

So he and I can believe he did this places. I got his number I called him I said hey. So tell me why stop coming to my church on or forget rudeness, and he said the guy said well well be honest, your sermon started messing with my life and it's sort of what you're saying right it's I think I was like this was supposed to happen right you got when Jesus comes your life.

He's gonna turn over the tables in a sense he's going to say okay we are certain things change things in life is that we are talking about is that Jesus is not your life coach. Yeah, he's little to deny ourselves yet to find ourselves wants to find ourselves in him much the messaging works today and also watch this.

This is done in the name of pragmatism. So the thought is if it works let's do it. You will make comments like, look at how many people come to their church services. Look at how many followers on Instagram we think because of that the old phrase, they must be doing something right abut that's really I would say troubling mindsets because were saying that if it works by the world standards as an crowd success. It must be true with be very careful because we have follow Savior referee fed 5000 people. He then called them really to give their lives, their very lives to follow Christ and many of them walked away and he looks his disciples and he says it all generally to computer applies where were we going to know what you're the one who believes uses when he claimed to be that he's what their very lives and what I see happen is when John the Baptist had Jesus come on the scene for the first time and and publicly in his response was outside of that there is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. He's the one this response that was that he must increase and I must decrease dramatically through my entire life would argue with that respondent would say amen to that been the new prosperity gospel I call pop Christianity. We are fine would use increasing as long as we increase with so we use words like platform to make it feel better like it's a ministry and sound better when really we just want to make sure that we have famous well and have all the things we dreamed of notoriety and applause. Most so when you think about that theology and applying it to our homes and we started the program stop talking about even what were trying to pass on their own boys in our next generation. How do you think that gets in our homes. As a parent I think you can have us get confused over what is actually the goal of our parenting is the goal to make disciples as an anchor we can control our kids personal decision to follow Christ. We actually can influence it right and we can point them in the direction of Christ is the call of every Christian parent to cultivate a home where children are appointed. Ultimately, the love of God understood in Jesus. What happens when the new prosperity gospel infiltrates our lives as it really does impact every single area, including our parenting because then we think the exact same thing with the truth of our kids that they need to achieve all of these things in order for us to be successful as parents and be viewed as successful. Also for him to have a full life so parents rather than often going all in on their kids discipleship and church attendance and Bible reading is that we go all in on our kids leisure activities or their sports, their friend groups or extracurriculars because we say things like I just want to give them every opportunity is a kind of language they used but by that we mean for what like to be famous to be successful at look at what really seen happen as a result of that, and how many church families is in professing Christians who are part of a local church there missing church regularly coming two or three times a year, only to meet once every six weeks and talk about regularly because dance competitions cheerleading competitions travel baseball or any of those things themselves wrong, of course, not all those things are great for competition for community for your building character. All those type of things but there is no way that we can say is a straight face that our child's discipleship is our number one priority.

If we divorced that for the local church and will be a people and 60 seats around it.

We don't have church. The building we can eat. We have a Bible study on the in the hotel before the game again. I want to assume the best in FIG people sincerely really do believe that, but that's an unrecognizable response in the New Testament New Testament is all written in the context of local church government that the entire idea of the Scriptures so I worry for parents that their entire lives now revolve around their kids activities more more more more rather than their family life evolving on the local church and sounds crazy to even suggest something like that is gone so far that is considered normal. Encouraged families out there just to rethink what exactly what it is that were communicated to our kids is the most important thing because of her being honest wrist. What was the goal. Why are we doing all this is so you think your kid can play in college get drafted whatever might be all those things are wonderful things.

I hope that for people.

It's a great thing but is our ultimate goal is parents and if it is me to reevaluate our thinking about these type of things and it is possible to be able to say were to be committed to the local church to play sports and do well at the same time we could possibly both of things far too often we choose one of the other guy tell you I shouldn't even bring this up, never just last week Anna and I were driving by a soccer field.

Actually several foot soccer fields.

There must've been a thousand little kids run around out there and again were grandparents now so we been through this you know the whole thing.

But as we drove by what I said you remember your number how I looked over there, we looked out as and again we didn't stop is drive-by and I said yes.

How many of those little kids are going to play at the next level B high school, and again it was just a side comment, but might my thought was if one of those kids out of a thousand plays even past high school and yet you know we did it, we all dinner we had one of our son, Galway. The NFL so we understand the whole thing and I was a pastor for church so I get what you're saying but we get caught up in the cultures like oh my goodness wrong with you don't like you said, participate things, but the priority where they end up in our lives is really critical through. I think we can easily get caught up in that his parents because you have other parents take home your kids not on the traveling soccer team. Draco will when they get into high school. He'll be so far behind and so I think it shows the priority of our own hearts of what's going on.

I remember thinking I want them to be behind but what are we thinking spiritually what's happening but here's the question. Your dad talk about a goal. What would you say is your goal or appearance goal is there think about raising their sons and daughters to be men and women of faith yeah and I like to go disclaimer this is not preacher speak when I say that this is the three of us to talk in real talking about Rhonda's unimpressive use of spiritual enough that a pastor should probably get when it comes to this. If we had to come to grips with what this is is a pretty small boys to play travel baseball income against rebel base that we had to say no to become a pastor because what we want our siblings and their siblings up every weekend go sit on a field somewhere little.

Nowhere in the hot sun and does not have a life of their own second most important was executor local church, leaving the party to be there the same way someone could fall behind in soccer does not plan travel ball would've Christian parents that we can surrender to fall behind in their small group right in terms the Bible so please don't think that we got arm arm American lines of gone so far away from this idea what music or rabbinical community that we women realize that anymore. My goal for my kids and how old I have a 15-year-old boy a 11-year-old boy and a seven-year-old girl. I will feel like we were successful for my kids graduate from high school.

They are walking with the Lord that they will have a relationship with Jesus.

They love the local church and then that is repeated in their own lives and it comes to their kids going forward. So I want to have kids leave my house that love Jesus and love the look church. Think every listener would long for that. Now take it to the next step, how do we develop your listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Dean and Sarah on family life today will hear Dean's response in just a minute. The first one to let you know about a special group of people help make conversations like today's possible family life partners.

Partners are a generous community of people who believe in our mission and family life and give financially every month and thanks to some of those really heroes right now. If you sign up to give monthly. You not only receive all the benefits of our partnership program but your donation will also be doubled for a year up to $300,000.

What that means. It means if you give $25 a month. The impact is actually $50 and if you give 50 it becomes 100 get the idea right on top of that when you give this month as our thanks to you, will send you a bundle of resources including two books. The first is called a lifelong love by Gary Thomas and the second is called, not part of the plan by Kristin Clark and Bethany feel so become a monthly partner have your gift doubled for a year get a bundle of books. It's a win win win.

You can give today@familylifetoday.com or by calling 1-800-358-3291 800 F's family L is in life and in the word today. Back to Dean and Sarah and how we as parents can help our kids love Jesus and love the local church so pastor specifically is that I want them to make sure their identity is first not before their preachers kids their gods. Kids think that's we don't pull that your pastor pastor's on a pastor's daughter has shape up about on the parking lot at church to church to be a joyful place for them. I love the fact they want to be there. My favorite things in the world.

So for me from a church member not just a past member of the church. I was if I was not in the full-time ministry part of us choosing a church I would choose a church. I think my kids be excited.

Be a part of and I would want that to be based on what they believe actually teach. Also they do with it rated a local church that actually makes the gospel come alive for them in their lives and take next generation ministry seriously. So in our home right now we are really just trying the best we can to make sure the local church is a joy because we just think a vibrant Christian faith can be separate from that, we think you really are linked together and in that that they cover relationships and may have older college students that they know and speak into their lives and mentor.

So really it is being champions of the local church not because her dad happens to work there. I would because we think that such a central part of the Christian life. Show me a family that champions local church is a part of local church is a gospel fueled place of grace that elevates the name of Christ, to show you a family that those students more than not when they graduate from high school, but there's the walk widgets in the college they talk about what you just said that I was a loaded statement gospel fueled I think he said gospel fueled place of grace. Center of grace. Talk about what you mean by that because I'm guessing that's a little different than what you're saying. The new prosperity gospel is you have a new prosperity gospel. I did not think they believe in grace of the writer on the same team is also think that Christians might try to suggest otherwise.

I just think the messaging is hijacked by the American dream. So rather than the gospel being the central part of the worship service. The work of Christ, how we responded. I gods grace in our lives. The central part becomes you unlocking your potential hell, goes back to you like what you are going to do how you're going to achieve this, what your weeks going to be like what goals you're going to set what obstacles you can overcome.

Rather, the messaging that you started overcome all those obstacles GO we all face separation from God and because of Christ overcome across we will fix that obstacle anymore.

We were relationship with our Lord were reconciled to him so that we can go live our lives to the fullest, abundantly, without any pressure on us to have to achieve and succeed as all the achievement I will ever need in life. Sorry taken place. The Christ always done for us. The weights now off your back, but I don't have to be awesome I don't have to be amazing because God's amazing head. I want that kind of messaging happen all of our churches around the country. We don't feel like you're the answer to your own personal joy and fulfillment that God himself was the answer looks like this. I don't think there's more to be gained by disobeying God. There's begin by obeying him to go around God for things looking for my wine, rather than write to him over to Liza go back to the Garden of Eden and I want to know that all the things I really am looking for the actual greatest blessing in life is God must like her so much about this is it's discipleship issues are subject to flourish. We believe the greatest blessing that God gives us us himself in relationship with him. It reminds me we use an illustration of a tandem bike where when I came to faith that the 16-year-old I knew nothing did drop in the church, but I heard the gospel and so in my very young face, not knowing that look like I said a prayer and Jesus I want you I need you. I confess my sin.

I surrendered to you, but in my head.

It was almost like come on get on the back of this tandem bike and how to cast you just on the back go where I want to go and do what I want to do and uses can it be this little blessing for me and that can be super frustrating because it's one. It's really what you're saying.

If living out my dreams, hoping that Jesus will bless my dreams and it just became frustration like first of all I feel guilty and doing the same things that he's watching and so there came a point.

I think this is true for all of us. There comes a point where we have to surrender all sang out God. This isn't about me. This is about putting you in the front. I'm along for the ride. You know who I am. You formed my innermost being and I will follow you wherever you go and I will lay all of my hopes my desires and my dreams at your feet, knowing that you know me you love me and I will go to Detroit and be a pastor. :-) It sounds terrible sound that I thought it was going to be horrible but when we follow God as you are saying your pastor and you are living out your dream but you have surrendered your dreams to the king, and I think that makes a big difference by the way, I just said this. If you've never seen in give this illustration visually what she just said will put a link you gotta see this because I'm on that bike with her because I end up being Jesus on the back with me in the front seat and then she calls all over my head, trying to show how we try to tell Jesus how to live our life. You know you're a parent of a teenager who is you know in that stage of our lives. It is is me centered as anything is where we even encourage you like. It's about you as a dad and you know you and your wife as you parent a teenager. How do you think you can instill in them the real gospel centered Jesus first view of life you want a happy model. Yeah, I wanted to see how I am towards their mom by my wife and how I to talk to her respond to her. You're not perfect there, but… Constant awareness that that is the relationship they're watching and if I'm ever going to claim to live the unselfish life. It's nothing to be removed from how I am with their mom with my wife that's really important. And then Rick really is a constant reminder heard someone say one time when you think they're sick of hearing that they're getting it for the first time of just really what it means a ghostly cliché to say it's not about you or that type of thing yourself or yourself as a constant reminder we have to have in our homes. We can't tell them that if we treat those of you are the center of the universe in my generation. 40 my generation younger of parents I think is a real struggle know exactly where it comes from Oliver's actually perfect data to find out, but my generation really has taken parent seem to be about making sure their kids are happy and fulfilled everything they want all the time. So why wouldn't your kids think that a centered verse 20 rightly treat them as if they are, so we need to make sure that were okay with our kids facing a setback okay with the house of adversity in their lives not been a failure at something there were people or so on edge about mix that never ever happens for their kids that we miss really critical parenting moments, but what it means to grow up and doing door to face hardships all the things the Bible talks about the realities wife, the believer strippers never tell us that will fail to face adversity that we raise kids in an environment that the opposite of the scriptures promise them everything is always good to be perfect and as you want it all the time when this is not reality.

So don't be afraid for your kids to mess up to not make the team to not be an exact group they want to be really hard and will be some tears what's best for your kids is what's best for your kids always success in the moment. I don't think so :-( then I think the greatest shaping happens when our kids face adversity and I have to trust Jesus. God uses that to make disciples not getting playing time that we didn't get invited to something when things don't go as they want. We don't have the new gadget maturity to any uses that in our life is that Steven and Wilson with Dean and Sarah on family life today Dean's book is called getting over yourself trading believing yourself religion for Christ centered the entity you can get it@familylifetoday.com or by calling one 803 586-329-1800 F is in family L as in life, and then the word today.

If you know anyone who needs to hear today's conversation. Be sure to share it from wherever you get your podcast while you're there and really help us out if you rate and review tomorrow evening listening to me talking again with Dean and Sarah about how God's goal for marriage is much more than just happiness that's coming up tomorrow. We hope you can join us on behalf of David and Wilson. I'm Shelby Abbott will see that next time for another edition of family life today like today's action of family accrue ministry helping you pursue the relationship that matter most