Carolyn Lacey: Extraordinary Hospitality (for Ordinary People)

We forget that loving others is a way which we love God with hostile mind and strength. When we ourselves out – I catch someone even if it protected not received well pleased with us enough for him in the way we process welcome to family life today. We want to help you pursue the relationship the matter most and Wilson Wilson.

You can find his life today.com or on our family life, family life today so my question is do you have like a greatest hospitality for you. Yes you do. The time we had the homeless man lived with us and I let him start rearranging the furniture in the house that fail due to I didn't set any boundaries. That's a long story, we can get into later. I was shocked that you invited some stranger sitting beside us.

On Easter Sunday in church when the pastor say. Say hi to your neighbor you turn and talk to some guy that look like he just came off the street again because everybody was dressed up in the sword wasn't and then you turn to me and said days, the lunch after church I might want anywhere to live and I remember looking at you like to just live with us just left by and he did well get back to that later but were done about hospitality today because we have on family life today.

Carolyn Lacey her first time ever visiting us on family today. Carolyn welcome to family life of me still. He thinks that I could see your already laughing at our our crazy story that bring up anything in your mind yeah just say many times when you think you did the right thing and it doesn't go quite how you think it's going to go okay that's right it's okay going to get into more details about our buddy Jim living with this.

It was quite quite the experience, but you can fidelity her Carolyn. She's got a little bit of an accent. I'll tell him a little bit about you, but you can tell our listeners anything I missed your housewife a pastor's wife, a mom of two teenagers and officer and author that were to talk about your book today extraordinary hospitality for ordinary people and you live in United Kingdom.

So you have this unique beautiful accent. What hospitality do you have like a hospitality fail story or you just the master of hospitality. I'm waiting on them stuff us to touch a my mistakes many companies found on a slightly smaller scale than having somebody to lift with me but once I can remember back when I still I've been doing something really kind of going out of my way to see if I inseminate my knee was stuck playing in a difficult situation had a really rainy peaceful male and as we sat down I asked her how she was staying and she passed case and just couldn't eat tool and then she felt really awful that she can eat mail the iPad to sell cutting unite.

She really just need to come and have a cup of tea and hug and I make the steak fancy plan which actually was possibly more about what I want to today for high rather than what she wanted steak for me and I guess that's probably something that other people have experienced as well, and Kellan.

I'm glad that you wrote this book because often hospitality may be different than what we thought. And when you pick up and hospitality book. I don't know if you're like this, but I'm like know I'm failing. I can't do this. I don't have any time house is a mess, but there are racks I thought were going to have another guy come live with us but did you ever feel that like have you felt that burden of hospitality. Yeah, I have placed on myself, unite believing that hospitality has to let satellite because that's what I've seen all that's why fragile, you know that's what Pinterest says I guess I've experienced as a ministry why I think people's not appreciating.

I was I'm working part time and have maybe had expectations on me that she should let like me having everybody in my house in one go full big man and me not fading able to manage that will share that story because that did happen to you at church.

Yeah it did and I will say was that every lovely well-meaning lady. Should you alongside me on a hot hot quiet morning and got that badly. I was playing in the band. My diction funds.

I think they would take one full say Favor causing chaos send almost tired.

I'm trying to get the payment and she came up to me and she said that it didn't seem tough enough to people around for lunch on a Sunday at one time. You tend have to since reason that the minister's wife up the right and she was has tended to time and then she said to me, and you know I made two small children, but she does have four children and I will say that I crossed and I know that she didn't mean it critically. I think she felt she was encouraging me you can do this but in the name and that did not fail encouraging smile. How did you say hey did you see me I just played in the band.

I was here early for her so I don't think that mom's doing that she had 2 to 3 people over on Sundays like were shut down the house on Sundays, honey tell me a minute and was a pastor's wife for 30 years and people that we have over on Sundays after church. Not many but it is true in terms of your doing so might you feel so overwhelmed and I think that's why a lot of people feel like I don't have the capacity to do this and and what does it mean something. Why did you start writing this Carolyn what was on your heart. Why is this important, I think it was that lady that I knew it wasn't just me and I need that people are feeling basins and guilty because the Bible says of hospitality that we see the come on to receive positive discipleship. But if it overwhelming, he's got to have everybody around for dinner when it's good to be ready nice and the house is the gate and the children of God behave well that just fails out of reach for lots of people and in particular, I was stuck by friends in my checked family who struggle with depression or anxiety or some of bases that genuinely make it ready difficult to have people around in the high stuff you think you will want to look like for them to be hospitable unite.

This must be an enemy of discipleship that they can tap into, but surely it must different friends that might see unbelieving partners soul/await non-Christians. You may want to look like for them to practice hospitality say I really want TT to explore what that we could bulletin the definition bulletin. The multiple is it just about males is that radio also pool had to mind is the OP touching mind old does it mean something a bit for just about 20 stuck to its thinking about it.

I find it very enlightening because you take this sort of narrow definition of hospitality looks like this and you pull back and say no.

It's much bigger and better.

So help us understand what did you discover what does hospitality look like yeah well I discovered was that hospitality starts right in the exiting chapters of the Bible because God creates wealth and he creates human beings and essentially he's inviting humankind into a relationship with the Tennessee is an active entity to welcome and say that really got me thinking about goats hospitality. If we oneself a hospitality as he commands us to.

We wanted to let like his, and say I just started exploring the characteristics of his hospitality. Not so much the mechanics will stay but rather what we should be cultivating in a hot and discovering that Cody say generous in the way he welcomes people and he say compassionate, and he thinks please save his persistent face characteristics seemed suddenly to be much more significant then what you kick or how often you did that I might becoming a hospitable pass in my becoming like him I'm effecting him in nice characteristics and say Yen radii.

I just take seven characteristics of hospitality that we see in God's timing still what they look like and how we can start to cultivate them and I nice and I discovered that it will difference in practice for each of us cannot say K according to personalities and seconds don't say say we can know for example, then speak compassionate welcome is that what that might like will depend on who we are and who the people we meet. I think that's a KI think that's really good actually, because I'm thinking about those listeners are thinking.

I'm an introvert, like people do I need to do this still is not just about having people over sharing your heart. It's it's opening more than your home. It's opening your heart and that makes it feel different, like you don't have to put on this thing spread is good when you said God is generous, so we should be generous to and as we reflect on his extraordinary generosity and welcoming us, we will find ourselves wanting to become more generous in the way we welcome others. How do you do that. What has that look like for you and your personality yet I'm into that they were away at an introvert, wrote a book on hospitality. I know I know it's funny but I am in the eye of people but I've learned to love people and for fitting ties and it still stayed ready that way for me to be charges on my rim with a bit but I see more about just how generous God is in his welcome has been so comforting to me, but will say it's going aggressive sheets to me that once type of play, and welcoming others and say I'm just simple things you know it's tempting for me at the end of the day.

See come home and put into my drive in and just run into the house and shut the door without looking around, but actually as I've wanted to reflects God's mole in his welcome lengths. It just takes some time and look around, disseminate out in the street. Could I way will say hello if it's somebody who I know that someday when can I just walk across and say hey how you doing, because it weekending and just little things like that, leading to see past myself to face God has placed around me. I'm just looking for really small opportunities T to show people that I've noticed them in the name of Sarah because people don't always feel seen that God sees us, then we can see other people and we want to siphon the scene and I can't about yet, like me. I guess we'll snow up in Michigan. I got my snowblower out. I did my driveway as I'm coming back up to the garage and poked her head out in the garage rose yeah Dean and Nancy are gone want to do their drive with our neighbors. So I go over to their driveway. I come back I turn off the snowblower take all my clothes off me know the other. The winter clothes my boots there snow everywhere I plopped down by the fireplace, and he walks in and goes hey what about Nick and Pam to set all Pam's outside shoveling and she's just getting over Covan and her husband Nick is having heart problems like all Dave. Maybe you should go over a tapping snowblower that I wish I could lie and say yeah I was like, of course, I want to be Jesus you know is gone like honey I'm warm by the fire going.

I look out the window and there's Pam, you know, shoveling her bigger driveway than ours and I'm like okay the right thing to do. The Odyssey wasn't so much I want to do it. I was like I have experienced Carolyn what you said the welcoming of God in my life and it really was. As I looked across the were in a cul-de-sac. As I looked over and I thought this is not only the right thing to do. I want to help her. So I put all my clothes back on.

I got the boots I fired up the thing and I go your margin over there I can just see her looking at me like you are a gift from God. You know it's like a course I told her hate is my idea. I just know I didn't.

But as I as I did driveway and then her husband Nick came out the next thing I know were standard driveway talking for 15 minutes and I hear about her life about Nick being in the hospital earlier and he couldn't come out and do this because he had a medical condition and as I came back to our garage. I just felt like that was the best 15 minutes talk talk that I've spent with my neighbors in. Probably this whole year and it was just a simple act of hospitality and the funny thing is I thought I was giving them a gift and I got the gift, you know, I'm the one I felt better about is that typical when you help somebody. Do you often feel like is more blessed to give than receive. As Jesus said, I think that is unexpected joy is a surprising joy you for your kind speak giving out and say you should be depleted in some way feel and feel whatever it is, but as we step out in obedience that he gives us joy. We can actually have a feeling a bit wary and not fight. We get the joy of relying on his spirit and I'm finding out that his grace is sufficient to sustain us and he does equip us but will say the unexpected, surprising blessing of community and we will leave a created to be in relationship and into that.

Let me attempt to forget that until we have things meaningful interactions and yet was the best 15 minutes of the day and I think it would be. I thought the 50 minutes count up on the file on my end would be the best 15 minutes and it tends out was Robin yeah I can relate to that.

I think it reminded T pray in a window asked about God just give me eyes, for the people that you want me to say I'm to shame. He says some really small way I can. I can say okay and compassion if we paid.

I think Jan says, and he gives face small opportunities. I think that that's the key.

I was thinking as we are all talking. I thought when I have my eyes on other people is because I'm first having my eyes on Jesus. And when when he sells the stuff of we see Jesus doing that of pulling away of being with the father and the father fills us he gives us eyes for those that are meeting those that we can love those that he wants us to see and hear and so I think that's the critical point because when I am running so hard and I'm stressed so many of us are.

If I don't take that time to be with Jesus.

I want to come in my house. I close the garage door and I don't want to talk to anybody and I'm thinking if Jesus lived in my neighborhood, he would have spent time with the father and then she would make sure like talking to all of the site and how are you doing what's going on, he'd want to know and care about all the details of my life and as we talk about that, Carolyn. I'm wondering how is that affected your kids. You have two kids 19 and 17. What is that looks like as you have practice this in your life and in your ministry city cave. It especially we had all season, felt down and then in the UK lost, we will be allowed for period of time to have six people in the high knee still had to be spaced out say out our kitchen table is relatively small and never four of us and say, waiting for us. That meant having one passage of time, say we're just trying think of a single friend somebody when you check she was either one that I know sometimes we had a lady he's married to a non-Christian, and just have an iPhone. I think I think they experience will I experience you know you think. Okay, let's give up. This is to be you know how to put ourselves out. That actually they were fun times and it was good for them to inspect and yeah I'm seeing them, describing them up at a TT talk to people who are not in that pay great older people. Then Michael to spend time and she was going back to university.

She went mountain spent some time with a lady from chat she's just been with dates. I thought that maybe Duffy that's how you want to spend your last morning J just going to have ends and have some time it happened, yes, I'm think I see them growing as well in that society, to welcome up this ever found it hard. Of course I'm guessing you had some struggles with no hospitality but you know you write a book about it and you know you psycho she's the queen of hospitality and it's always good because I know that when we started were done about this guy named Jim who as we invited them over for Easter brunch. We find out he is homeless who just become homeless and then he needs somewhere to live in.

Here we are saying you can come live with us at that time with no kids, but when I went later to pick him up that evening I pull up where he told me he'd be waiting outside a grocery store and he is outside with the body in a wheelchair and there they have a hat out for donations for people to give to his buddy who's paralyzed.

So I pull up that I'm okay, Jim.

You know what you know I'm here to take you back my house.

Here's what happens. Carolyn, his buddy jumped all the wheelchair walks into my car. They throw wheelchair to back my car. It was all a scam. They were that it was paralyzed just to get money and I'm like this is the guy we just invited to come live with us and he did again to live with us for what six weeks and Saul executives as he came in were doing this nice thing is that it first. It was wonderful. And then after four or five days we start realizing he started changing furniture around and moving everything our house.

We catch him in a few lies to get a wonderful guy will try to help him out but it became hard after a while. Like what we just sign up for. We didn't sign up for this were not really helping me sort of use on us and you sort of feel Bureau so that kind of thing. So that's my question because a lot of us get afraid to be too generous like God is been with us because it could go that way. What you say that when it gets sorta difficult. You're listening to David and Wilson with Carolyn Lacey on family life today. Carolyn's response in just a minute.

The first family life. We believe God does some of his most amazing work right in ordinary homes, whether that's a small group Bible study or laughing on the floor with your kids were sharing a meal with neighbors. The home can be a launching pad for God's work in this world and if you believe that to which you help more families experience this by partnering with family life all this week as our thanks for your financial partnership.

We want to send you a copy of Carolyn's book is called extraordinary hospitality for ordinary people.

You can get your copy when you give this week@familylifetoday.com or when you call with your donation at 800-3583 29 that's one 800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today. Right now, back to Dave and Anne's conversation with Carolyn Lacey and how to be generous and hospitable, even when it seems difficult to things, but I think one of them is how the program is sometimes that we see hospitality is a sizable memory think you know this is difficult person on difficult people and I have to do it myself.

But if with positive cash family. We probably need to draw others in to help us say you know for finding that somebody's taking Yvonne to finish the battle just draining us a vile and itchy all conversations held whatever is think probably we need to trying to annihilating NC praying text family and to help you know is that her friends are a couple of friends you can say that come in on Tronic alongside this person but it's a little bit tricky.

Can you help make and we shed a ladle. Can we take them out for coffee together say that we can keep the conversation going. Say sometimes I think has Douglas out because with trying to DT much annihilating men's pups we have to know our limits and in that sense and of course the note equips us, but one of the ways he helps us is by giving us text family say we Patsy to lean on each other that mole. Sometimes you just have to press event that you say I like the bit about United people that he got helpful and you really trying to welcome, but they just either put away.

Oh, distant and just making a quote about how to persevere and see that show still in the back about a lady I met at the school gate. He just really seem to dislike me.

I think just because I was a Christian and just land how to to 16 1/2 to 7 inch chest how to start small with you not to take our kids to the park together and I think she thought I was good to brainwash. I cage this cult of something and say Dave Barry slightly and it would be much easier now.

I think Tim said you know I'm just like I somewhere else and just find somebody else you actually is interested in my office but the note had placed on my hot and he did seem to keep bringing out a pulse together and Ava time the walls came down Hines and actually became very like a friend. She's probably my nicest non-Christian friends now. I think just to land said, suppressing, and to be willing to be uncomfortable. Say try not to take offense when she was raped alone long kind and to keep reminding myself. Jesus died for me when I was his enemy. And he's welcomed me with all of my one of my package on of my sin and if I can in his strengths. I need to try and pass it fair to say it's not easy, but that doesn't necessarily mean we need to give up, but we might need a bit of help that's really inspiring and I love that you kept pushing through because I think a lot of us as people. We put up walls because of past hurt or pain. And when someone continues to persevere and go after that friendship, that means a lot just thinking for all of us. This is been a great reminder for me to get my eyes off of myself and onto other people. I mean, Jesus said love the Lord your God with all your heart mind soul and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself and sometimes we forget that second part we kind of mentioned to me we gather as our family, but their people are neighbors are people that are at work at church that could use a friend that could use someone to say I see you I hear you tell me how are you that can be sharing the gospel in some respect. The beginning of it to some people and God's calling us to it and you've reminded us of that some thanks Carolyn, I think I think is also we forget that loving others is a way which we left out. Yeah I thought so, mind and strength. United when when we ourselves out there and shake it to someone, even if it dictates not received well pleased with us and we send off for him in the way we thought this listening to Dave and Anne's conversation with Carolyn Lacey on family life to the book is called extraordinary hospitality for ordinary people and will send you a copy with your donation today@familylifetodate.com so I don't know if you have kids like I do, but don't miss this tip as your kids get older, keep them talking you want to be the go to person for the hard stuff with your kids so pry open the conversations that matter what we got your back with a resource called passport to purity. It's a weekend just for you and your preteen to talk about body changes in peer pressure and even dating. So if you have teens passport purity can help your son or daughter learn how to make their faith, their own uncover their calling and take responsibility will make the talk easier and low prep so start the conversation with passport to purity is now 25% off with the code passport for a limited time@familylifeto.com tomorrow.

David and Wilson will continue the conversation with Carolyn Lacey about what it looks like to be hospitable with friends and family in our life are Christians. That's tomorrow on behalf of David and Wilson.

I'm Shelby Abbott back next time for another edition of family life today family like the day is a production of family life accrual ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most