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March 21, 2022 10:00 pm
Could blessing kids impact more than you dreamed? Author Alan Wright gives ideas to correct kids, proclaim identity, & shape their future using blessing.
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Okay, take five seconds and bless me what I think it's go-ahead ready go you are a life speaking bluster of everyone year-round grocery store parking lot.
Obviously at our church. Our boys are family element when we go over to the grandkids house they run out the door that I was there run the see copy but their run to see Nani because you just your bless you more than five to say that you set that up.
I flip around naked fill me it's your turn. You are a man of integrity look as good enough. I keep going.
I know you do, because that's what you do.
Welcome to family life today when we want to help the relationships that matter most and Wilson Wilson.
You can find us if we live today.com or on our family life, family life, when youth are word to really tell people what we see liking air hose to our soul feels good and I think we doubt it sometimes, but we don't even care if we think know if it's true, it just feels so good that others the power to bless and I just mention the title of book and we have the author in her own right with this again today. Thank you so much for being back with us. Welcome back Philip today so glad to be with you. Just loving meet you guys and talking about this that so dear to my heart like I wish everyone saying I wish all of our listeners could see you Alan because the second you walk into the room.
Everyone thinks I want to know that guy I side that guy because you exude love and acceptance. There's a joy about you. It really is the essence of who you are and you can tell that Jesus fills you up. This water is a fact that I could tell, you know, as I read your book.
Now that I meeting you this isn't just a book. Yeah, this is your life, your book obviously is called the power to bless how to speak life and empower the people you love, but I'm not given, so that launching then as we discussed is like this isn't just a book this like your life story. It is my life story and that's the story of discovering myself blessed and it is the discovery of how to bless others and raise a family under the sound of blessing and to leave the church under the sound of blessing. And you know eventually when we really grow in the Lauren we can reach to the point that both Jesus and Paul said lesser enemies. So this is my life story and in many ways it's God story, one who blessed Adam and he then said be fruitful and multiply, and then all throughout Scripture.
This theme that runs through it where this like an invisible force at work and will the people believe themselves blessed with a believe that the promised land is there's a really believe their grasshoppers and in many ways it's our story and blessed people and a blessing other people and those who have not been blessed have a deficit in impoverished place that just must get nourished if there ever to live out the destiny God has for you. Talk about how the Bible has so many these lessons where we see a father blessing his children is their actual power and they would lay their hands on them and blessed and I think this is no.
Isn't it interesting in the Bible whether times are there things that are not defined for us the way I would like for it to be and I think it's because you know, especially Western culture were so rationalistic that mystery is harder for us, but it is something that is on display. Rather than being defined in some objective way. What we know this is something that's much more than mere encouragement because the children of the patriarchs craved what they wanted. It's why Jacob was willing to lie and cheat to try to get it.
What could he get that he thought that he could get by stealing just to have his father lay his hands on him speak words over him, what, why was it that when Joseph learned that Jacob was nearing death. He had to rush because he wanted to get his two sons Ephraim and Manasseh there so that they could be blessed. What is it when David blesses his household and why is it that when Jesus is born this mysterious figure appears takes the baby Jesus into his arms and blesses him so I think that at the simplest level, yes, it's a powerful thing to encourage somebody but at the deeper level. I think the message of the story of the Bible. The big story. The Bible is that there is a mystical invisible force at work but not magic, but something that is at work that when you receive it. There is a grace to flourish and experience favor that would not have been there. I remember maybe you do as well. There was a book in the ED, so I'm guessing they came out by Gary Smalley Blessing yes and people ask us back then it was the best parent book you read I said the blessing and when a parent book. Roy was just what you're talking about.
It was just Gary and John Trent actually saying is author saying okay what was in this Hebrew blessing from the father to the firstborn son, they said there's five aspects. I was really that you need tell me is that what was there. They said I'm doing this from memory. Yet it was so simple now that was almost a mystical part of what you're saying is a try to get a handle and say okay there was meaningful touch that was involved where the father laid a hand on there was a spoken word of life or affirmation. There was attaching high-value that wasn't dependent on performance based on identity is my son. And then there was picturing a special future other words, I see this for your future and the last part was interesting.
It was a commitment to that future. So, another was a one a dad or mom said I think God's going to do this and you is like, how can we come alongside and help that happen.
Yeah, like you got a gift as a musician will guess what were by a piano.
You know I got it.
Thanks Lebron actually happen. So as you think about the power to bless.
Is it all of that is all of that and their work on this was pioneering and fantastic and it is all of that and it is even more, I think, in the sense that we aren't just picturing a special future. We are envisioning it with our faith, for it to come to pass. I think this part of the reason when I say you know you have an active commitment towards it, which is to say that you are participating because you believe it can come to pass. That's what makes it, not empty words and I think that in many ways, I like Dallas Willard definition. One time he said it is the actual willing of the good of another, I paraphrase that.
But what are you saying is you feeling you have like when you love somebody so much you can think of this to somebody. Whether it's your child's spouse that you love someone you just you want something good for them you want it. This is a way I was talking, you know, before the show how much I love kids and I had a grandparent fever. I want to get real baby in my hands because I love my kids when their little babies and is seen you guys earlier as a thing I was looking for to before I ever was apparent was. I've been loved by God, a lot, and so I have something to give. You are given no I want to give it away and I do it every week as a pastor and a preacher, but the idea of having a little life that I hold in my hands like clay. I put it this way. I was looking for to having somebody that would believe me entirely because that's what our children do they believe us entirely and they receive it like a sponge and it is literally like helping to shape a soul. If you would understand what a blessing as you think of what that thing is in you that just you so want the good of another and you you know something good about the other ages you would so want to just somehow imparted to them that is what blessing is all about. Some parents might say, well, you know little too much is too much can you over bless the child you can't. You can praise him in the wrong way you can over bless. There is no too much blessing as I address this in the book blessing is both grace and truth. And that's good you better explain that well as you often think it's only grace you with all only grace and I think that this is really important and I put the section in the book, there's even a convolute picture of some quadrants there and it's interesting you know most people that you know they're drawn to the wing of the stores will blessing all the power blessing, but when you really can get semi-talking about different ways that we hear speech and the way we speak, it becomes really intriguing. So, just very briefly. I think that to say that we've seen God's glory. According to John one because he came in the person of Jesus, full of grace and truth is to say that that which is glorious is seen when grace and truth are together, and if we have all grace, but not truth, then we might be really nice but were just going to be leading people into error in the truth sets us free so there's no freedom without truth, but we have all truth, and we don't have grace, then we might get OB club and people there were the Bible, but nobody will listen to it they don't open your heart and let their love. So if you could envision in a sense that grace and truth.
As these continuums and that is you just think about grace just running like this line endlessly in and truth that cross-sections across it. The quadrant in the upper right would be where there's grace and truth.
I would call that blessing, but the opposite of that that that lower quadrant.
No grace, no truth.
That's curse curse is a negative forecast that is also rooted in its own perverted form of faith.
You know fear is a form of belief is just a belief that something bad's going to happen and so it has no grace. No love that has no truth because it's faults as the problem occurs. So when it's received, where not only being unloved and criticized for believing something is not true, but there are other forms of speech than blessing and curse and I would say that if you could think about what is grace with no truth. The term I would use that as a moralism and I think that's the spirit of the age and that's what people go all you're just going out you know you're just about blessing and that you bless Bill do what no if you're a moralistic meaning it's grace without truth. That's where we're saying to someone it doesn't matter. You no right or wrong you just follow your heart and it almost wants to give no direction to someone and is not a blessing. And all the other side of that is truth without grace and that's moralism that's Pharisaism and I think in fact in our blood groups and just training to discern what is it that's coming out of my mouth at a point so I in the book are present different scenarios like you are real life scenarios.
A parent might face. You know your child is to have a small accident.
Thankfully, you know he's okay but he was texting while driving. How you respond with blessing well sometime people think blessing says will don't worry about it, boys will be boys and I just remember the main thing is I love you blessing. It's not true. It does matter, a blessing doesn't simply say I love you as I love you and here's truth.
So a blessing in that situation is so much more like I love you more than anything and I most certainly forgive you for this, but you are a treasure and God has an important destiny for your life. Therefore it's unacceptable to ever text and drive.
I cannot sit here and say to you, it doesn't matter because it matters deeply know my love and know the future that I see. My wife had a beautiful way of displaying our kids with blessing you know when your kids just doing that thing is just like that's just anybody that did that this was the damage thing on my resume alive and everything your you want to just look call out how dumb it was, but instead she would just like wishes that God gave you an excellent brain. I expect you to use it. So what blessing does is whether it is simply affirming and encouraging or it is correcting even in our parenting.
What blessing is saying is that real change comes not by withholding our blessing dangling it like a carrot to try to motivate someone to change real change comes by proclaiming someone's identity so that when they act in a way that does not align with that identity. They see it as a violation of who they really are. It's good to define it and let's talk about why don't we do it because I have to tell you, like Dave honored me beautifully and blessed me by saying that I am a joy giver and I do speak life and I will say I probably for the first 30 years of my life.
I never did. And I think part of that is because I came from a family that we were told we are winners and we need to be leaders and we need to win at all costs, and they didn't say try your best.
They said be the best and so I grew up with this driving mentality and I always tell people is being my competition and so why would I earn them when I wanted to one up them and so if I saw my my friend that looked really cute. That day I thought she was in may think. I wouldn't say that because he's my competition and I found that that striving of always trying to be the best was exhausting and I thought these wonderful things about people, but I also saw my own insecurity and thought I'm not nearly as good as them or I don't measure up to that. So when we talk about why don't we give it.
If they have anything to do with things like absolutely it does, because unless we find ourselves so deeply secure in the love of God.
It's just hard to find ourselves affirming another. We are on the hole in our sin nature were self absorbed. As soon as sin came in the world, so did shame so to begin covering themselves and that's where all of the competition began in the jealousy. So the very first siblings.
There was murderous hatred and so the gospel of Jesus Christ changes everything, because God has loved us perfectly and infinitely, and we are infinitely rich in Christ.
So the first thing I would say is if someone struggling to have the motivation, the blaster has those feelings as you so honestly share that you wants struggle with it, which is the norm for most people start with this soak your life in the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you tend to hear the gospel message like this be good, serve, give, and God will love you.
You will never have it. But if you hear the gospel for what it is. God loves you infinitely has blessed you with every spiritual blessing in Christ, therefore, receive him and serve him if you get the order right. It will change everything and so soak in the gospel.
I think that's one of the things that we just need to do and I think that we all need that I needed every day of my life. Another thing is we haven't learned, we haven't seen it model so I think a lot of people think is not a work as big part of the reason I wrote the book.
I just want to miss people this works yeah and part of it is I raise my kids in this I've seen it.
I know it it works, and by that. What I mean is that there's a tendency to think that if I affirm this person though. Quit trying and Eileen Nabel that it will enable you to think that Dave freight and he'll think I'm satisfied and heal. It will mean enable him to tell them she's critiquing and criticizing me you didn't work it didn't wear it on work and because is not God's way right, honestly, really this hills way to with hold in order to produce an anxiety to try to make some sort of the words.
When we withhold our blessing.
What were doing was safe to her child is were essentially saying I want you to worry yet what you worry about whether I'll really bless you.
And then out of that fear and worry, you'll try harder will pull guys with worry and fear are the farthest thing from the heart of God.
Right. That's what hell trades, and what heaven trades in is love and faith. So I'm thinking of of Julia Mancuso who, when she was little girl she dream to be an Olympic athlete and she drew a picture of herself little crayon picture of herself skiing down the hill and at the bottom it said something like Julia Mancuso wins the gold and you know she went on to win.
I think two or three goals and the downhill and up story came out one of the Olympics and all is great stories. One thing about that story where she got a vision of this is who I am. Know what that do that make her quit trying to make her say will I'm to get a gold medal so I'll just go sit on the couch during my teenage years any potato chips and play video games, no babies mother gives her doing that she sees herself as an Olympic athlete, so she's out in the weight room and on the slopes and training up early in the morning. In other words, blessing instills hope, and hope empowers us and changes us is when we become hopeless that we quit trying. Zach will talk about the tadpole a lot of audio stories. There are other daughter came home with zero little with this tadpole that were supposed to, you know, for science project. Watch it grow legs in the tail and become a frog and so all these instructions we have with it. We got a ball spinach and we gotta feed at the edge of my life. I stab both my honey it won't be here long becomes a frog we release it in the wild. And so you know we goodbye nothing to his goodbye were still one spinach we got this tadpole three weeks go by month go by two months go by which tadpole we pump into Abby's little preschool teacher we say hi Nikki with his temple going to well with you with that with the metamorphosis happened is that what we don't miss our temple just a tadpole, she said no that's not possible. So everybody's story become a frog doesn't happen like that is enough. We had a temple you can't make this stuff up our temple.
A year later is a tadpole.
How many people never had a pet cat. Both were still ball is better when you kids got a pet scientifically possible site possible to get done even happen. You and I and so I learn all about this. I mean even more time goes by. It's it's a year and half we got a tadpole, we got a tadpole swimming around. You can't make this stuff up. This is just sometimes God just gives me something just so I can see it, you know he did it for the profits you have weird things happen just to teach them something so I daughter close to some summer camp or something and they all get an aquatic frog so she brings on the frog and when I okay great.
We are temple. Now we are frog so at first I was like, put the frog in with a tadpole, but we look at how big this tadpole is, but I'm afraid the temple might need to frog so is that we put the frog bowl next to the tadpole bowl and that's it.
The next day my little girl Abby is on the phone, church, she's call me and if you so excited about what Did you look at what what what she said that tadpole become a frog said what and I just dropped everything. I went running home and you'll I'm not making this up overnight that tadpole had sprouted some legs dropped its tail within two days was a full frog is that we always declared it just needed to see what is supposed to be and what you can see your good. And I think we are a lot like that.
That's a sermon you can be.
If you can't see it, you can't be it. But if you can paint a picture of this is actually who you are and this is what life in Christ. Looks like this is how I see who you are.
I think what happens is people rise up to meet the vision, the spoken of so don't ever think that like blessing is something you dangle like Herod and try to mode that just creates fear. What blessing does is it really releases law cast out here and that builds faith. We thrive in an environment of hope and faith is what blessing many of us can probably remember a point time in our lives when we were younger. When an older person, teacher or parent whatever family member looked at us and kind of raise the bar in her life in a way that was positive and made us want to jump higher, made us want to not settle for what we were settling for David and Wilson have been talking with Alan Wright today and he is unpacked for us how to bless our kids how to really raise the bar in her life and release them into the blessings God has for their life. We can shape our kids and the future in so many wonderful ways. Let's do it through the Avenue of blessing Alan Wright has written a book called the power to bless how to speak life and empower the people you love, and of course we love our kids course we love our family members.
This is the kind of resource they can really help shape us into many women who are people of blessing to our spouses to our friends to our neighbors and to our kids as well. We want to make this book available to you as a way to say thank you for your gift to family life today. If you head over to family life today.com and make a donation of any amount. All this week as a thank you.
We will send you a copy of Alan Wright's book, the power to bless family life today is listener supported. When you donate your making family life today possible and available in your community, and fresh new ways. Thanks in advance for your support again you could find us online@familylifetoday.com or by calling one 800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today. If this blessing conversation has been a blessing to you or any of the family life programs have been helpful for you. We love you to share today's podcast with a friend or family member or neighbor, and wherever you get your podcast can really advance the gospel effort of what were doing at family life to a if you scroll down and rate can review us now. Tomorrow Dave and and listening and talking again with Alan right on how to be polite and blessed people don't actually know it might be easy it bless the people we do know that he can be talking about how to bless seemingly strangers on behalf of David and Wilson shall be added you back next time for another nation of family life, family life, to a production of family accrued ministry helping you pursue the relationship. The minimum