Are You an Unseen Servant?

I tell people that I'm not a person or God opens the door and says come this way I go you know when God tries to lead me in directions I tend to be the person who says I'm not ready for that. God get around to it eventually. So then he opens a window and says, through the window then. If we still don't go, so he then picks me up and shows me through the window, kicking and screaming, and that's kind of how I ended up working in foster care and adoption. Welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most and Wilson and Dave Wilson and you can find us if we live today.com or on our family life app family life today so we had an interesting lunch today.

Did we really finalize and it was so fun toys that because we have two guests with us today that her friends and had been friends for a while they co-authored books together.

They live life together, celebrated each other more, and with one another and they are amazing women have remarkable stories yet. I don't think our listeners always know we usually have lunch with our guests before we commit in here in the studio, partly to get to know one another.

I don't know if overhead lunch was a guest who the woman came in weren't cowboy boots yeah yeah she came in from Lubbock Texas.

You know that I was anyway.

All I know is this lunch I hardly settle these three women you guys act like your best friends are so interesting and amazing. We set all of our listeners, especially women, you could just pull up your chair or have your headphones in, because this is something I think that will inspire you there friendship their lives. Their faith is something that I think we can all learn from. Yeah, and here's the thing we got Dr. Beth Robinson with this inductor will attain Scott with us in, we decided after hearing your stories at lunch. Let's just do us a program on your life will be Dr. Beth was things I we found out right away as you teach it is a goal of the Christian Lubbock Christian University been there. I think this is 28 years 20 years and what have each undergrad psychology general psychology. Most of the that I don't know for sure, but based on what I could tell. At lunch year that teacher in my right that every kid wants to be in your class. I want to be just by listening to her and what we thought was interesting where a lot of teachers will say put your devices away. You don't do that. Beth no I doubt when they come to my class. You know, a lot of different professors have syllabi that say don't use your technology or put your funds away so I'll have students because is not my syllabus will raise her hand and say what your policy about phones and I'll say well you've backed couple thousand dollars, sometimes for that learning educational device. My recommendation if you use it and use it in class. And yet he said they really don't pick them up. Now I don't have very many students who use them and they and if they do pick one up.

They usually send me an email and apologize for picking up the phone in class because they had a family emergency or something like that. This reminds me of Dave because as a preacher he would say if the people in the pews are asleep. When we go to the preacher, you know, I think the psychology is easy to teach, you know, it's about how you interact with people so I think I have great material to work with as a teacher I did. I don't know that it's about the teacher so much as it is the material I love doing what I'm doing and that's what I wanted to be there in front of freshman that's really yeah so you two are really good friends.

Although you don't spend a lot of time together but doctor will attain.

You've also got your PhD in biblical studies so I mean that's where came out at lunch as well. She's like a biblical scholar over here very dated and author of more than two dozen books yet again. We would never know that she would never tell us that if we want to get in your story, but listening to you was a little bit like our producer Jim Mitchell said it would some that Took Pl. in Mark 12 uses to set up today where Jesus sort draws attention to something he noticed anyone make sure the disciples saw as well and I think that's what were doing right now.

I can only imagine in the Scripture Jesus calling his disciples like guys come here to see this come and look at this.

Yeah, Mark 12 verse 41 so Jesus said down opposite the place where the offerings were put in, watch the crowd putting their money and into the temple treasury many rich people through in large amounts but a poor widow came and put into very small copper coins worth only a few cents calling his disciples to him. Jesus said truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth, but she out of her poverty put in everything.

All she had to live on Jesus literally pulls them over and says I want you to know some the watch this and let me tell you was happening and as were sitting at lunch. That was the sense we have is sort like this holy moment.

I know you can come in there they can your create a holy moment of those like wow you women you've written books and we'll talk about that, but there's so much deeper this going on in your life that we thought we need our listeners to hear and I think we as women can often think is our life matter am I doing anything. Do I have the gifts and passions that maybe my friend has her. She seems to have so much we can get so lost in comparison specialist social media today.

We can feel alone and forgotten unseen, unheard, and yet, as we were listening to your stories. I was so inspired, because you are like the widow all the things you have all your gifts all your talents all your passions. He's put in the offering bucket and said God use whatever I have for your kingdom and for your glory to impact people so that's getting to like that tell us about you have had how many children through foster care.

15 of come to my home and that a few of them have become permanent. My ministry is very much about foster care and adoption. I have been doing this work. This is actually 30 years doing counseling my counseling practices almost all foster and adoption Added that start like where did this love for fostering come from, you know, I tell people that I'm not a person where God opens the door and says come this way I go you know when God tries to lead me in directions I tend to be the person who says not ready for that. God get around to it eventually. So then he opened the window and says come on through the window, then build up go, so he then picks me up and shows me through the window, picking and screaming and that's kind of how I ended up working in foster care and you've never been married, never been married yeah single and really don't feel a huge sense of loss by not being married because I have been so involved in my ministry.

I mean, I never rule out the possibility I could still get married yeah I believe if it is somebody who helped me get to heaven, God will put that person in my life is a great perspective and unusual honestly for single person because a lot of times that can become the sole goal and we miss out on so much will I think God just pulled me into work with kids so much.

I start out as a basketball coach and I could tell that sort of fits the demographic what it would mean a major that's what I was in a do. I was I was entropy major as well and I got accepted to med school and walked away to go coach basketball two weeks before us are med school. My parents and not in your lifetime ever let that go and when coach basketball and I figured out real quickly that I loved the kids more than the sport and then ended up teaching high school English and journalism.

My principal recruited me to be a counselor. It was not a vision I had a leading I felt at any point my life, but he said you have been so effective with these kids that were emotionally disturbed. We would like for you to become our school counselor so I go back to do that in my last internship I had to do in the summer and I was working at a shelter for kids removed by child protective services in Texas very behaviorally dysregulation kids, suicidal, homicidal, sexually offending kids and fell in love with: hazing.

Because a lot of people be like. I ran as far away from that I can go and you fell in love with it. I fell in love with it and that's what I've been doing ever since I made the change you know or why do you think she's good at that. Why would you follow with her because she cares about people at a real deep level and for all her bravado and braggadocio in all that she has a very tender heart but don't tell Javi obviously had lunch where we are feeling that you don't talk about this. He bought a church and turn it into a house. Yes, what's that all about.

Well I needed space for a lot of people need space. I don't go by. Sure I needed space and frankly because I work in private higher education in nonprofits. There's not a lot of income so I had to be creative in the church was $35,000 and I could afford that and it was enough space and so remodeled the church because at that point had four foster kids, all of them were under five I think at the time and your loving these kids, but you've also become quite an expert of knowing how to care for, identify and even help the needs of your kids, how did you learn so much about you know life experience. He spent 30 years and you're really committed to try to figure out what's going on with the kid when somebody else isn't. I don't want to kid the faulty the cracks because we missed something. I spent a lot of time reading up with different kids and noticing what's going on, so my practice is those foster kids try to make sure that we get them the services they need so they can be taken care of and heal and move on Montaigne let's talk to you little bit you have an interesting background. You are Mormon chair little bit of that story with Cy was the happiest Mormon ever I just loved the Mormon church I went on scholarship to Brigham Young University and was waiting for missionary that was in Germany I was so happy being a Mormon and I came home to my home in Albuquerque New Mexico and met this young man that my mother really wanted me to meet. He was from Tennessee. My mom and dad from Tennessee and she wanted to get me away from the Mormon church. She never was Mormon.

He wasn't known how my dad was Mormon, but my mom wasn't and what you love about the Mormon faith all the sense of community. The sense of purpose.

The sense of and I say this in a good way exclusivity that we knew things that other people didn't know we were willing to share it but we did know things that people needed to know, just the sense of history, resilience against persecution. All of those things.

I loved it very deeply but your mom is a little frayed for you see, set you up with this guy from Tennessee. Yes, Dan Scott, little Danny Scott from treads of a tenancy I only go out with him because my mom made me work with my mom put up with her and our first date was such a disaster was. It was horrible because he tried to kiss a Mormon girl in the first date and you do not do that then we only went out again the second time just to placate my mom and we found out that we enjoyed each other's company. But here I was going back for my senior year at BYU on scholarship and he's a member of the Church of Christ, which is quite straight arrow biblical group and we began realizing that a relationship couldn't go any further. When we had such different views not only of church and family, but of God himself, and I spent the worst summer of my life that summer after I met him because his brother-in-law gave me books on Mormonism. Dan didn't know anything about Mormonism but his brother who was a minister, did and it just made me sick. I mean, Charles Spurgeon said it. There is no loss was great is losing your God, and I say to people. What if you woke up tomorrow morning and found out the got you served your whole life doesn't exist you wouldn't feel liberated or free, or anything else you feel sick even on yeah it was devastating to me. Yet these books that you're reading your believing yes what they're saying because that from there from the Bible.

I could see that even though I'd been very schooled in the Bible from the Mormon point of view. There were scriptures in there that I just hadn't given much attention to art car had kind of passed over. But just because you find out that your religion is wrong, you know are your goals. God doesn't exist doesn't mean you're going accept the next one comes along, so I say that I capitulated to a vanquishing Jesus Christ that didn't necessarily mean I had to like you do not mean I mean he conquered me and I gave up. I was baptized I surrendered that I spent the next 10 years, even writing about my left Mormon church. From a doctrinal point of view before I would say I really had a bone deep relationship with Jesus Christ. And that's endured for the rest of my life is beautiful, the part that she didn't tell about the story is how old were you when that first book was published was 29 and how old are your kids. Ryan was six and Celeste was for sure at that first yelling that young once in this kids what was the name of that but the Mormon Mirage was published by Zondervan and they asked me about 10 or 12 years ago to update it because I'm a doctrine is changed so radically that from the time I left the Mormon church until now it's hardly recognizable and even since I wrote it there so many things that have happened in the Mormon church.

I never would have dreamed would have happened to get some morphing religion really is. You told us at lunch about your relation with your husband the last few years. Talk about what that's been like. Well Dan was not a theologian.

He was a faithful Christian but he called my writing the habit that he supported. We had a very comfortable life and I was able to get my PhD and in the studies and to write books but about 10 years ago. He had his second case of a disease called Guillain-Barré syndrome and this one put him in Tacoma for months and months he was intubated. I mean, I didn't hear his voice or see his eyes for months and when he came out of that, he was a paraplegic or quadriplegic actually and I cared for him at home for a year after that. While I was working but by that time I was 60, and so you know you don't, you can't do that forever. And he went into assisted living and finally to nursing care and in the process of this, we lost everything financially has his medical bills were over $6 million, but this was the great opportunity to do two things I've always wanted to do my life and one of them was to prove my faith first Peter says that your your faith is worth more than silver and gold and we undergo trials so that we can prove that and I would remind myself this I get to prove faith in us and also I got to see what a local church does to help support someone who is really in trouble and my church was extraordinary in helping me.

I mean, one of my books that I wrote on with with the co-author we signed the contract of the book literally over Dan's intubated body. We shake hands and I wrote that entire book on discovering the city of Sodom on hospital side tables and in the front seat of my car while friends of mine from church would come in and sit with Dan because none of us wanted him to wake up and be alone, so we didn't know when he was then wake up and it was months that I was able to with the help of this church and with my mom and my brother and others who supported me financially and we ended up losing everything.

But guess what we had.

We were completely provided for. I never did without a meal. I never missed a payment. I came out of this with a good credit rating. You could lose everything credit ready. By the way that I got to see what the church is supposed to do.

It's supposed to rise up triumph and care for one another and it was beautiful and the mountainside Church of Christ in Albuquerque New Mexico. I salute you because you took care of me and now that my husband is gone. He passed away about a year ago. The authority of the sellers of that church are now my protectors and my my helpers and Dan and I often talked about his catastrophic illness was the best thing that ever happened to us because we got prove our faith got to show that it really stands and you can do this, you can lose everything.

You can lose your healthy what we did was our reputations, but you can lose things that most people think are important, and if you have the Lord. Nothing else matters. Well done Mike is easy to have our eyes on ourselves.

We take our eyes off of Jesus in the midst of our pain because we can barely catch a breath and yet you loved him well to the very end and brought glory to Jesus through your servants heart and you're not bitter or mad that you have lost everything vision of God.

Yes friends. You know, unless it's really dark you can't see the light that so clearly right and I know I got to see things that I and experience things I never would've gotten to see her now. I have to give credit to Dr. Beth. She was a great help to me through that because she would tell me you can't do this thing you need to stop doing this work more effectively is gasket Beth you watched this go on what what was your perspective.

She was very faithful. She writes about the phases of faith that God gives us promises and we often experience contradictions before there's a resolution and we lose faith in the contradictions because we don't understand yeah that the contradictions build the faith, but a broken heart that there were lots of mornings when there were phone calls and that she was struggling and it was hard to hear you had your own share of grief you've lost your mom, you've lost a son share with us a little bit of some the things you've gone through one of the kids I helped raise.

I lost him about six years ago my dad six years ago my mom this May 21, but I was blessed with my parents because I have wonderful siblings and I got to go help take care of my parents.

I got to go, yes I mean I would try to go at least twice a month. I lived 3 1/2 hours away, a target to begin the month. Sometimes I went three. Sometimes I went for, but I wanted to be there. I wanted to give back to people given me so much, you know, it's odd that I work in a field where there so many kids that are hurt my parents when I had parents who always kept me safe and maybe working with the kids. I do made me so appreciate having parents that saw every basketball game I ever play because to be honest, it was because they were scared I was going to hurt again.

Medically fragile, small talk, and they were scared to death about that and I can remember that I never graduated from high school, I was playing an Allstate game and got my back broken out and I can remember hitting the wall and feeling completely cold going down the wall and I turned my head and saw my mother coming out of the stands and I knew it was okay. I knew it was okay and so when you have extraordinary parents like that how can you not honor them.

How can you not go every chance you get to try to make sure that they're well cared for and that they know that their lives. In fact, in hindsight, we can made a mistake when my mother was dying and we didn't know it. I was there when we had to call hospice Ian because she was in pain and she just tears started rolling hospice came in she was ardent hospice care that they came in and said she's not better in the morning will probably increase the morphine were probably in the last days.

My mother lasted until that next Friday morning was a full week. All the kids came in with all said everything hospice comes back and sets. Who is she not sick at the height so we get caregivers we get everybody we can think of but we didn't think of is the last 11 years. We always left at the end of the weekend so my brother and sister, younger brother and sister had get back to work. My sister got up it was Friday morning and she had to go back to teach until you she left I got in the shower and because we believe that because my mom thought we all left for the week and my mom passed within 10 minutes she got so used to us coming home. Yeah and be in there for her. Yeah, that she was waiting for us to go home so she could go talk to our listeners about being a woman who gives Jesus everything. Like all of your gifts.

It's like the widow giving her last night. Why is that important to do. I don't know that I even realized I did. Yeah, from your perspective.

Yeah, it just is just what you do. If I had a message about giving Jesus everything is that's what Christians do I mean when you're buried.

In baptism, you come out a new creature right in your you put the old life behind and when you take up a cross you're agreeing to die for him.

Why should it be so hard to live for him. I mean your life is not yours. As it says you know you were bought with a price. Your life isn't your own and so drudgery for you to know you. I sure well I get to do what I like to do and she gets to do what you like.

I have always prayed that God would use me as a servant and I really have pride since the loss of my mother about where this next stage of my life is coming because I don't know where it's coming out. I just want to use our to be used up our rest – I think that waste has been my most important prayer over the years starting when I was 18 I said Jesus I'll do anything for you. I'll go anywhere else. Anything to live you for the rest of my life and I said that continually to him, and I'm telling you when you pray that prayer. It's as if he's shaking his head as I get ready girl. He takes you up on that he has so much for us and I don't. I can see that your like this. I don't want to miss it anything. It's not easy. Not always easy but it is good to be the center of what that has for you and I'll say this is been newly male in the room and the only you know is Jim and I sat there at lunch with you three ladies concluding and my wife that's what I think struck me is you are saints who are so don't know what I say Cesar is on the way your room you know anybody's in Christ is a saying in Christ Jesus, titled me in your above anybody else. But it's like you're serving your tummy and want to register your stories. You know the ones you've taken in the books and the things you've done. It's almost like it's sort of unseen sort of behind the scenes and yet you know the widow's might as Jesus sees and he sees you, including a man and as a man said there is like.

While these are incredible women that aren't like appear above or by likes flashy show we look at what I'm doing but you're serving in just a beautiful way just like letting Sen. give your life away and in their finding yourself and I think there's so many listeners that are like you are serving. Maybe you wonder is if I see Jesus sees and I think there's men like me that see this was a you and any woman listening. It feels like your life is just the unseen. It isn't God is using you, just like he wants to use you three powerful women in a powerful way. It's sort of like from me to you thank you thank you for what you do not think you listing to Beth Robinson and looking Scott sure their stories just reminded of the fact that each one of us has a story, God is at work in each of our lives and his fingerprints are all over our lives and what we often fail to recognize is that God's work in the house is a part of the story we have to tilt the others here at family life.

Our desire is that you would not only be strengthened in your marriage and your family, but that you would share your life, your story and the truth of God's word with others.

People in your neighborhood people at church people in your community we've put together a number of resources designed to help you do that, whether it's marriage studies like David and Wilson's vertical marriage video series.

The love like you mean it video series.

The art of marriage or the art of parenting. Our hope with these theories is that you would connect with other couples and in the context of sharing God's truth about marriage and family, you'd have an opportunity to share about God's work in your own life.

Share your own story. Your testimony is powerful and God wants you to proclaim to others the goodness of what he's done in your life. So how are you doing that again of our resources can help you in a strategic way reach out to others. Go to our website. Family life today.com for more information.

The series that we have available that you could use as tools to connect with others and then get engaged in the lives of other people. That's our goal or hope your family life and we will help you do that. However, we can now tomorrow Dave and I will sooner to tackle one of the tough questions that comes our way along with Dr. Julie Slattery. The question is. The Bible says wives are to submit to their husbands.

What does that mean is that for real. What is submission and what isn't it, how have we may be misunderstood that idea. That's all come up tomorrow. Hope you could be with us for that on behalf of our host Steven M Wilson on Bob Lapine will see you back next time for another edition of family life today. Family life today is a production of family life accrue ministering, helping you pursue the relationships that matter most