Abortion/ Adoption: Miracle Birth

So I almost missed the birth of our first son.

That's right, you told me were gone. Delaware was okay so I don't want a minute. This is our first child and the nurse tells me after checking me. Oh honey you're gonna be here at least 24 hours so Dave takes as I cannot hear you go home.

It is like I left the hospital, but I thought you know I gotta go take your business. All this going to magazine somewhere. 20 minutes later I'm by myself. It's three in the morning and all the sudden I'm thinking I'm having this baby right now no one is there and I'm yelling no one's coming I'm clicking the nurse.

Finally she comes in. I said, I'm having the baby and so did finally meet my head around it. I mean I have to go to hospital whole long way yelling, so I will my goodness, I urge you to run it in their CJ was born. Our first and was pretty dramatic.

Welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationship that matter most and Wilson Dave Wilson and you can find us@familylifetoday.com or on our family life, family life today so I almost missed the birth of our first and was pretty dramatic, very trim, very dramatic, but I made as being parents of three sons and their grandkids. You learn every birth is a miracle.

And so today I mean I've never had a person like this in the studio.

This is I'm looking across at a miracle. I mean we we know that with every guess that comes in but your story, Melissa Oden is with us and it's a miracle. So welcome to family today.

Thank you and if it makes you feel any better. My husband almost missed the birth of our second child.

He went down for lunch, then for real whatever they didn't think that I was close to delivering her and he went down for lunch and they came back to check me panic panic, don't move an inch. Don't breathe, don't think ahead and were calling him or texting him and in the hospital. You can't really get a good six days and he just barely made it in our first child took me forever to deliver it was all a long, hard delivery and so you are surprised by the second one being so quick.

Clearly he was to unbelievable but he made it DQ Melissa did you feel like that like this child is a miracle absolutely, and I think I am large our world understands that in our heart that I think sometimes it gets lost in translation in our culture yellow such as I said this the first time ever had a story like yours are read your book, which is a great book called you carried me a daughter's memoir.

I'm just going to let you tell the story know you have a Masters in social work you do with what you're here to tell us, but I think the only way to start this program is just to say what your story I'll wait till you're keeping the listener insist I just want you to start all okay listeners I just my sake pull up cloaks because you can want to hear this. This is one of those stories.

It's so miraculous you're not can want to miss this and I always would preface it to say I know some of my story is hard for people to hear because of their own experiences, but I hope that as I share my story, people see God's hand in my life and they realize that as unique as my story may be. There is so much grace and it's about love and it's about forgiveness and it's about the plans and the purpose that God has for every life. Yeah, I was sharing with somebody earlier today.

I wish I could share my story and simply allow people to OEC God's plan and that sometimes our culture hear stories like mine and somehow attempts to shame us for having the story when it's a story that we didn't have any control over. I am literally a baby who survived a failed abortion. I am 44 years old now all age myself very quickly and get that out of the but I survived a failed abortion and we live in a world that somehow says that doesn't happen and if it does happen, it must be so incredibly rare and if you do have the story, you should probably not speak about it publicly because it makes people uncomfortable because maybe they've had an experience with abortion or somehow this is a political thing and at the end of the day, it sends a message to people who have stories like mine to say you don't belong here that God intends for each and every one of us to belong.

My story started 44 years ago in a little town in Sioux City, Iowa. That is when my birth mother Ruth found yourself facing an unplanned pregnancy.

Ruth was in college she was 19 years old. She was engaged to my biological father. I didn't know that for really long time. They dated all throughout high school and college were in love probably thought they had the world at their feet and didn't know that they had become pregnant with me. Ruth had been heavily involved in sports didn't realize the signs of being pregnant and so her mother who was an OB/GYN nurse saw the signs in her finally that her body was changing to her mother saw before Ruth even knew she did. Can you imagine how well so she's confronted by her mom who says hey I think you're pregnant. It's I can't imagine how much trauma that was for her and then the trauma just continued because they learned very quickly that she was pregnant.

Sadly, my grandparents were not supportive of an unplanned pregnancy back in 1977 in their community. It didn't fit the profile that they had in the community. It didn't fit the profile of them being in their church every Sunday and I share that not to cast blame or shame upon them, but because I hear the story and so many families so in their circumstances. They found out she was pregnant and within days my grandmother sat my biological parents down and literally screamed at them from what the family has been able to share with me. They can remember how loud the noises were inside the house.

When my grandmother was making her feelings known, and ultimately she made it very clear to them that there was one option and that was abortion. Within days they forced a saline infusion abortion upon Ruth, she was placed in the hospital where my grandmother was involved as a nurse. She oversaw the education of a lot of the young nurses at the hospital and so they forced the saline infusion abortion upon Ruth against her will.

They bypass hospital regulations and procedures she should have gone before a therapeutic committee at the time saying why she needed late-term abortion. How many months the abortionist wrote on my medical records. She was probably 18 to 20 weeks pregnant with me but the fact that I weighed a little less than 3 pounds made it clear to those medical professionals that she was probably more like 31 weeks and that's what's included in my medical records and full term is 37 to 40 so that's why you are such a big child like you are much further along than 18. I was a whopping 2014, but much further along gestational than what they had expected and I know abortion is not ever pleasant to hear about our talk about but for those who aren't aware of what that procedure involved that saline infusion abortion was the most common abortion procedure back in the 1970s. What is that procedure that involved injecting a toxic salt solution into the amniotic fluid surrounding the baby in the womb and the intent of that toxic salt solution was to poison and skull the child to death usually lasted about 72 hours. If the child was fortunate enough, their life was ended within 24 hours and then the rest of the time was just inducing labor in its horrific procedure for a child to undergo. It's a horrific procedure for a woman to undergo and I talked to so many women who have shared their stories courageously with me and said they could feel their child fighting for life thrashing about in the womb before they ultimately lost it, you know, we know through my medical records that it was a horrific procedure for Ruth and I not for 24 hours or three days. It was actually five so the mental anguish of your birth mom to must've been horrific. Yeah, mental anguish, physical pain, you know, we now know that they really thought she might lose her life in the midst of that abortion procedure because it was dragging on for so long and it was a risky procedure in and of itself. In the first place I would go five days while they couldn't successfully inducer labor I'm stubborn. My husband would tell you that by the grace of God I go. He gave me this perseverance.

But you are literally fighting for your life.

I was yeah and by all intents and purposes, you know they really thought the abortion had been successful, especially for five days. Keep trying keep trying more solution, more solution, and so on the fifth day of the abortion procedure they induced roots labor. Finally, and I'm sure they were grateful that it was over.

But really, my story was just beginning because that day. When they finally induced her labor. I was accidentally born alive. We celebrate birthdays our world.

We know them we love them but I don't know if people sometimes think about what that really means I have a day that I celebrate as my birthday. That is the day that I was accidentally born alive yet. Your mom doesn't know you're alive in.

Who would've thought and I have to say like the first time that I heard your story and I saw your face. I wish the listeners could see Melissa.

She's beautiful and were all beautiful because were God's creation, but the first time I saw you and I thought this is the face of a child that was aborted like we would've never seen this beautiful face and you have a voice and you have a purpose and Riley, stearate watching you thinking I've never seen the face of a person that has survived in abortion and I thought what a loss to not have you here. Thank you and that makes me emotional because you know we have tens of millions of children who have remain nameless and faceless and voiceless and I am a mother myself and not a day goes by that I don't look at my children and think how you know what if that abortion would have been successful.

My children never would've existed and that is a pain like no other pain right and so you're born. Your birth mom thinks that you've died that this abortion was successful. So now she's in her own trauma of trying to heal and get past this and what happened did they whisk you away.

Yeah, my life story has been a long and winding road a bit like a roller coaster probably will, but I now know that when I was born alive that day there were demands made to lead me to die. I mean I now again as I share parts of my story are incredibly hard for people to hear just in case people are wondering, we don't need to know the details but you actually later went and found your mom and that's what you know the details will later yeah some people are like Helen will do yeah this way you went on a journey you will hear about it later but so do not only did she know and meet your mom and she met the nurse yeah I've met medical professionals or had communication with them to know the rest of the story. I think that's I love seeing how God affects all of our lives, and says truth and more truth than here's more truth Melissa but yet we now know that my grandmother is the one who demanded that I be left in the hospital room to die, and at least one nurse, a tall blonde nurse rushed me off to the NICU at that hospital. She saw you gasping yeah I truly believe that's why I'm alive today because God knew who needed to be working that day they started to provide medical care.

They prayed for me. They saw God's just God's wondrous work in me coming to me that's the part that makes me emotional because they were the first people to truly see me and show that respects for me and so they provided medical care that sustained my life I suffered from severe respiratory and liver problems, seizures they thought I had a fatal heart defect. You know the prognosis for my life was very poor but little could I have known that Ruth was told that day. It had been successful before I was taken out of the room. She was told it's hideous. It's a monster don't look at it. She didn't know if it'd been a little boy or little girl would been aborted and she spent over 30 years of her life with incredible regret. So she was living in her own place of trauma.

While my story continued and I didn't know my story for a long time we'll have untold stories that we families have secrets gather. I think there's a lot of secrets and there's shame attached to those secrets and I think that the enemy wins when we never share our secrets because we think it's the greatest horror story, God says I'm to bring hope to the world with your story. If you let it out into the light absolutely and that's what you're doing your allowing us to see the sad truth.

It also gives us hope you know you think do you know that nurses name.

I don't know, the tall blonde nurse that rushed me and that I have a relationship with a nurse who received me there and the NICU that day and I have a relationship with another nurse volunteer when I was transferred to another hospital. I now have another nurse in my life who was very young at the time and asked why I didn't have a name when I was a couple of months. All wisest baby here and why doesn't she have a name and they told her about what I had survived in and they gave me a name at the hospital they named me Katie Rose, but she came looking for me in the last 10 years and we met face-to-face and she was a huge support to me when I went through my younger daughter having a lot of health issues. She was there for me. Is she the one that you booties did someone bring booties those nurses at the hospital. He admitted me little baby booties that my daughters used to put on their dolls. I still have my little tiny diaper wheel and be remembered that we I mean we do.

I think where a world full of people who want people to see us here us, acknowledge us, remember us and that can be dysfunctional.

I think in many ways, but at the heart of the matter what they did in remembering me was life-giving. While the thing that I'm looking at God's hand where he's putting people around you like maybe she wasn't wanted in the situation, but even your birth mother wanted you, but I'm still going to put people around Alyssa, who are my angels kind of on the earth that are going to love her see her provide for her. Isn't that sweet of God. And I think we all had that thought like did God ever see what I was going through did he know was he there. And yes, I think the answer is yes. He's always been there and sees us.

Yeah, that was one of the most intense conversations that Ruth and I ever had was initiate question and said if there is a God. Melissa is you talk about them all the time, but if there is a God.

Where was he when I needed him and it was just so heartbreaking for me but I just from ever taking a deep breath and saying he was there all the time and if it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be here today but when you're in the midst of that struggle and that pain. Of course we have those moments where we go. Really, Lord. Where are you right now because this isn't what I thought it would look like this is what I thought it would feel like I didn't think any of this struggle was can happen and he still there in the midst of you know I don't know, and you don't know her name but I think you all you know she's a tall blonde.

I guess you nurse. I think of her being like an angel and that's where God was. He was right there. I think there's times in our life where we are. The tall blonde situations where we feel in the jewelry see a situation somebody needs to act and is so easy to turn and walk or think somebody else will or I don't want to get involved sorry this is too messy. I should just walk away. I can imagine she might've even thought this baby supposed be left here yet my going. I'm actually interrupting something started. Been started and yet God used that woman or you're not here today and your daughters were not here right now and I thought how may times my life have I been that person where I see something and instead of saying I'm going to do some to be the hand and feet of God.

I often of turned and not even knowing the ramifications of if I would've acted something beautiful could've been done. I think our listeners realize it could be you. Maybe there's Alyssa right now that's already knows God is spoken or nudge them to do, and if said none of those who scarier. I don't know what's going to happen. I think that tall blonde nurse, whoever she was is a message to us. It's like Isaiah 6. Here I am Lord, send me and I like to ask you some somebody else you're sending me to step in there. I don't know is going to happen, but I know you're leaving me so I know the results are gonna be your plan is much like Esther you know she was born for such a time as this, and I was actually walking this morning and praying at because I knew that we were can I talk to Melissa and hear your story and I thought about that, like Lord, I want you to use me I want wherever you want me to be like. Help me to say yes and to know that prodding of your spirit when you want me to walk into situations or when you want to easily help me to say yes and no situations that I think it's that simple. It's a yes it is just say yes when God leads you. I mean you're sitting here right now. I know you're on your way to another event where you're going to stand up and advocate for the unit of the unborn.

You said yes to God's call in your life.

Yeah, I often tell people I life is an adventure. I call every day Holy Spirit moment because I never know where I'm going to be called what I might say. I mean, don't we all do this where we say something or we say yes to something that will pull wait a minute I mean by this book. Now you.

The Lord doesn't ever have it wrong and so it is an adventure and I think we are so scared sometimes of faith yeah but yet that's what we are called to resorted though. I don't know if it's the culture knows always been true before we say yes to God. We often want to know okay tail going to go is literally Peter the boat soon okay I noticed about you you you sorry that it's yeah but that's not though the aventurine you're so right… Like man I thought I give my life to Christ. 40 some years ago I was giving up know I can't do this. A market do anymore.

I had no idea on the other side of that yes was, you realize you adventure that is going to be following Christ is scary at times and is not easy but it is an adventure and it's an event you don't, you don't want to miss it. Here's a crazy thing. We've only heard the beginning of the story. Yeah there's so much wine our listeners even like wool and what happened what happened next is, did you ever get to a place of forgiveness because there's a lot of her here and I just gotta say were out of time so this is one of the stories that you're going to have to just wait and listen to part two next. Thanks for being with us.

Thank you.

What a powerful, compelling reminder today that whatever the circumstances of your life. Whatever has happened to you the may have even been evil happening to you. God is still a God of grace and power and mercy, and he can transform a life. In fact that's what he does. He changes our lives and restores what has been damaged in our lives we been hearing today from Melissa Oden telling her story of God's redemption. She's written a book called you carried me a daughter's memoir and we got copies of her book in our family life today resource Center.

You can go online a family like to.com to request your copy or call one 800 FL today. Again, the title of most of Oden's book is you carried me a daughter's memoir ordered online@familylifeto.com or call 1-800-358-6329 to request your copy. That's one 800 F is in family L as in life and in the word today that we have had something happen here at family life in the last few days. That is very exciting and something we want let you guys know about.

We been telling you about a matching gift form that was put together for us by some friends of the ministry. They have agreed that during the month of December. They would match every donation that we received from listeners, dollar for dollar up to a total of $1.5 million while in recent days some other friends would come along and said we want to boost that amount. We want to see family like to they listeners really rally in the last two weeks of the year and so as of today the matching gift fund has reached a total of $2.3 million, which means there's even more opportunity for us to expand the reach of family life in the new year but to take advantage of that. Of course we need to hear from longtime listeners like you. If you're a regular family like to they list or if God has used the ministry of family life in your life in your marriage and your family this year. Listing the family like to do if that's been a encouragement or a blessing to you if you been one of our events are used. Our resources are gone along to our website. Would you consider making as generous a year and contribution as you can possibly make them do it today when you do whatever amount you donate is good to be matched dollar for dollar up to our new total of $2.3 million from please pray that will be able to take full advantage of this matching gift amount during the next two weeks to make a donation can go online@familylifetothe.com or you can call one 800 FL today when you do we want to say thank you by sending you a copy of Dana Portland's new devotional from the book of Psalms is called in the Lord.

I take refuge, hundred and 50 daily devotions again from the book of Psalms. That's our thank you gift to you. When you donate today and go to family life to. They.com or call one 800 FL today and thanks in advance for whatever you're able to do, and we hope you can join us again tomorrow. Melissa Oden will be here again and will share with us why it's so healthy and helpful and important for us to not only know our story use but to be able to openly share our stories with others. There's power in bringing what was in the dark out into the light will hear more about that tomorrow. Hope you can join us. Paragraph on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson and Bob Lapine will see you tomorrow for another edition of family life today. Family life crew ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most