A Plan For Building Our Children’s Faith

Song and have you try and finish a quote now it with you prior to school before sleep. I will finish it. But it stayed this way a goal without a plan is a disaster but not the actual quote welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue relationships that matter most time and Wilson and Dave Wilson and you can find us if we live today.com or on our family life, family life today some French author set a goal without a plan is a wish Meredith now that me as honestly as like a viable goal but there's no plan is just a wish. I hope I you know if I would lose weight have no plan. If I want to win the Super Bowl in Detroit with Israel. As you have a plan. Is there it happened.

Yeah, right, and I think the reason I bring it up as you think about family is think about spiritual leadership in your family, don't you think that's what a lot of us parents to ask because we all long for discipleship process and we want to be these great disciple others of our kids. We long for it. We wish for it, but I think so many of us feel ill-equipped. I feel like if I could direct me to snoop on this diet today and then you fail, and they like to see it didn't work and I think discipleship with our families and our kids can be like that.

I'm really excited, and they just don't seem interested in their hitting each other in the running around and that one didn't work and so I feel like we can get discouraged. And of course you're not talk about our kids. They never course, ever did that. Actually, that was almost every for family devotional time went so my family can relate to that and that's why we exist here. Family life. It's a ministry that is help families like ours, and yours really stay to a plan and keep it in the search. I we have David Robbins with us today. The present family life. Your Dave is you think about that talk about how critical this time year is for our ministry. Well, I just think about this conversation going. This is what were all about families discipling their kids families discipling people around them that don't know Jesus taking the gospel to places that the gospel gaps were Jesus is not known in that home. That's were about it. Family life in this year is a critical time as we have plans whether it's for family life today and continuing its reach, or to make more small-group resources so that more people can be sent out to form community in their neighborhoods to help those kids that aren't getting truth in their home at all. That's what were about it. Family life to be able to reach another home one home at a time and I just want to challenge and invite you to join with us in getting the gospel to more families.

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A guy I'm not kidding when I read about what you've done with your family, Terrence Chapman, I thought this guy not only has a goal, you are a man with a plan Terrence welcome the family today all is so good to be here and looking forward to our conversation.

I just trying to butter me up and started some football tickets as you got him but no I'm not getting when I read about what you do what you've done and weren't about this today with your family. I intend to be a guy with lofty goals and aspirations not always sit down to go get Howard to get there you have on the different areas my life. But when I looked at your life and your family.

You're not a guy with just a goal. You are a guy that has a goal with a plan right and some of that. I'm guessing from your background tells little bit about you were to some pretty important places I drink your stuff all the time. Coca-Cola tells little bit about your background, because I know that's where you learn a lot how to develop his complaints. Sure is you know I started with companies like Johnson & Johnson, Citibank and Coca-Cola. So as an executive leader in those companies, we learned a thing or two about planning you know and what I think about this plan really goes back well beyond into my early years where we used to have Sunday dinner every Sunday when you were a house and to listen, you don't know when I talk about Sunday dinner, talking about the full spirit everything is homemade up talking with the flowers sift, not the backflow stuff made ice cream right. The thing I loved about it is that we not only had dessert. We had a dessert table all homemade fresh start in LA people are at this this entire family. This is the feast. This is Christmas every Sunday right so you grew up with that I grew up with that was important about it is Sunday is a time for the Lord, you know, we started out with Sunday school and early morning. Of course church. 11 then I went to church and we just got started. Through 4 o'clock today is 12 o'clock were looking or watch what will we just don't want and then guess what. Sunday evening was revival of some sort so that we have revival, six, 7 o'clock, but I take what I loved about revival. We have some good chicken.

So obviously my life is been centered around good family meal spiritually, and also around the table so you get married with 38 years ago tell us a little bit about your family, you know, married to a wonderful wife, Wanda met universal noise in Champaign Urbana. I think she followed me around for a couple years. At least that's the story I'm telling you, but you know we just met each other and fell in love, and was married and 82 the mayor going on almost 40 years of 39 years, three beautiful kids two girls one boy all married now and have kids of their own. So we're working on our number six grandchild for today but to coming. My youngest daughter is expecting twins in a couple weeks so so we can be populating you were doing our part as a Chapman family to populate the earth here so we will have six grandkids congratulations that talk a little bit about spiritual formation, your family, because when I was reading through your life. I listen you have a podcast.

Yes, all the doors Friday victorious Friday and right every Friday noon time.

Want talk to about what it means to plan.

As you said, if you fail to plan you if you just fail and so here's the idea or go is for parents to really plant the seed to the answer to the question. Do your children believe because at the end of the day were raising kids. We have a responsibility there some key things we have a responsibility to train and instruct them in the Lord. MMS Ephesians 64 talks about finally going on right now just rows doing real well in that area of exasperation, but he says to do what he says we gotta bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. That's really family discipleship and so how do we become intentional and that process will test one early questions to come back and my wife was off on the anniversary trip in and we were just enjoy life. I thought I bring three questions reminds will talk about what we been this I like to hear your seen nose like you. 10 yeah and I see you in these last 10 years, where we now and where we go on in our kiss was between 10 to 15 years of age.

So we were talking about having a great conversation and then one question came up that led to this whole thing are the key is prepared to defend your faith at the high school. Your wife asked that my wife asked that question. Women are wise so we'll we heard all the studies, 68, 74% of children walk away from the faith at the high school.

I have a different take on that, but we had heard that story we wanted to address it as a youth director in the church you know you always have to have some answers were asked what I have a lot of what was going on in your family before that where you purposefully intentional about discipling your kids up to that point say we were not intentional.

We were doing. Like most parents, we will want to do the right thing. Sometimes we just don't know how sometimes we just go with the wind is blowing and so we do the normal thing would take the church we abdicated the responsibility of raising our kids so to church and to my wife quite candid with you. I was holding big businesses know that was my priority. That was what I was doing and I had abdicated that responsibility to my wife in the church and but yet I'm a youth director in the church and so as we move through that we started to think about this whole idea of sanctification whole idea process.

How were going to be intentional and train our kids in the Lord so we don't leave it to wherever the wind blows in what circumstances were intentional and so as we were thinking about that question.

She asked that question will are they prepared. We came back with the response. They're not prepared well in the loving wife and gracious wife that she is, she just turns to me and say what you do about you spiritually to a whole another spiritually rathole you do what is church. I do what I do and so she left me with this kind loving remark will in two weeks.

I want to come back and tell me how were to be intentional and right.

She said that take two weeks yet to experience. 14 days. So what I do. I know you're going that challenge either that or she was a strong torture so we get into this mode know about this right about 68% of parents they feel totally inadequate to raise her kids in the Lord and I was filling that at that moment. And so I begin the thing.

What do I know how to write plans. I've been writing some billion-dollar plans for a little small beverage company to do the same here and so will know about that, but more importantly, what do I know about the 66 books is basic instructions before leaving this are lying about that and how can I incorporate that into some systematized process to raise my kids in the Lord and so in two weeks.

I went back and said listen first, we need to understand what our values what we really believe to be true. Some of those values.

We knew some of those values were not yet in some of those values.

We need to flush out a little bit more, so we start to go through a process what's our values and it is you, any business plan. You never think to start a business without a business plan.

You have a vision right you never start a ministry without ministry plan. You have to have a vision so what's on the horizon where we taken a list of destination I would recommend you have to really understand where you're taking and for us. We want our kids to fall madly in love with Christ Jesus, we all long for that to how we get there, becomes our mission, and you know we start to look at that and how we plant seeds so that answer to the question is very clear to our children believe is not about what we do actually is about what he's done on the cross. So what we need to do is to help them understand who he is and what he's done and let them investigate the faith on their own, and the Holy Spirit will move in such a way that they will come to know him and they were come to love him and they will come to walk with him out of pure joy was interesting.

You don't hear you say that I think some men, women would resonate with I can do that others would be like.

I'm not sure how to even start so that's on your book right do they do your children believe you walk them through that in the book how to why sit down.

How I figure out what our goal is what our vision is what our values are. Is it a workbook type thing where you can help families do then you know we've been blessed for the last 12 and half years to train over hundred thousand parents on just that very thing walking through in one day process. We have what we call a do your children believe a workshop is a one-day workshop and we walk through how to begin to draft such a plan and when you started. It seems daunting right seems like not a planner. Don't know anything about this.

We have a plan for children may not be written and may be in our heads, but the idea if you write it down. It gets done. I miss plane is studies that prove that point harvest that they did a study L said they did. But whoever's want to take credit for probably came from a whole different university but what he says is as they study students from the class of 1979, 83% did not have goals did not write them down.

They achieve less than the 3% that wrote, there goes down, looked at him every day, live them out and they accomplish more than the 83 did.

And so it's a very simple process if you write it down. You have to think about and you thinking about it yet to pray about it and you have to go through this process within the day it gets done.

And so that's what we found. I do remember when I started help found the church. 30 years ago, one of the first things we did. We went to a John Maxwell leadership conference in one of the simple things. John said at the conference was if you don't think about leadership every day, you won't leave so he's like every day take at least 15 minutes. Think about leadership look at principles like how can I make it. It makes all the difference.

So, I mean as you talk about being a parent think about spiritually forming our kids. I think it's really easy for parents is saying it's the churches job that's the Christian school shower. The camps job but you said no it's our job and you already hinted on this and you hinted that you don't agree with the statistic that 60% of kids after high school, walk away what you mean that delay or don't, they are what what were you saying what he may walk with the church, but if they have truly been saved by grace that you never walk away so you I believe we did not earn it so we can lose it.

We can't walk away from and that we may minimize it in our life and we may choose to live more in the world than we do in our spiritual side but but if we are truly saved.

If we have truly walking with the Lord. I don't think we ever can walk away from something that we never walk to in the first place. So I believe that walking to is the power the Holy Spirit that draws us to him in such a intimate, loving way is permanent right so I can't gain my faith.

I can't lose my faith but kids like I did a movie you basically the disciplines of your faith may be minimized. The reading of God's words to prayer life.

The worship life may decline especially during the college years of me there's a lot of distractions during those years and so you may not prioritize walk on a regular basis.

However, the faith of the fact it did. I have an intimate personal relationship with Christ. I don't think never be abandoned. Terrence I love hearing all that because I think it resonates with every listener take us back again to this pivotal point of your wife giving you a couple weeks to come up with your plan picturing you as a very successful businessman and now you're coming up with this plan for your family. Take us on this journey of what happened after that. Did you stay in business. How did you have the time thinking of listeners like at the time, but happening your life yes so we we prioritize what we desire and what we value and so what I value most is that my kids would have a personal relationship with the Lord. Your doctorates are black, being yet something really good Golden Nugget from his father Henry.

He Sits Out Ter., God doesn't want your best for your family. He wants his best for your family. So the pressure that your filling is not on you. God is going to lose not one that the Lord is given me. And so the pressure was there in the says my capable mind you are qualified to do this do I know enough in my theologian enough to come to figure out the shows and like now have to be a Phi Beta Kappa of theology. What I have to do have to be available have to be willing and I have to be able to summon invest time with the Lord so that I can invest time, my kids, so here's what I started I started on my knees in prayer Lord I'm in your presence.

I have a heart to do your will and to teach your willing in your truce to my children show me the way you lead me and guide me and direct my past. So this is about what we do. This is about what he does in and through us. Take the pressure off into a depression takes the handcuffs off and if we want to do the parents. You know the world puts handcuffs on the Lord frees you from those handcuffs because this by his grace that we have been saved so his will restarted start on my knees and that prayer and I just went back to what vision do I have where my taking my kids you know if I want to go on the trip to Chicago want to map out the trip to Chicago right among us figure out my mile markers which we call goals. By the way, and we simply say here's what I want my kids to fall madly in love with the little house that work well you spend time in God's word.

We have to be on our knees in prayer we have to worship as a family together and have conversations together on a regular basis and then how often do we do that now this is the real spiritual side, yeah, I'm busy. I'm flying around the world may not think Delta's do you know loves me so I guess I so want to do this once a month like is that once a month. What about once a week and can't do it once a week. I'm too busy, your kids are asking you do want to waiter teenagers is my theologian that I am a civil what about twice and we will be him in the middle of compromise and negotiation high skill level. So I said two weeks and they sicken them.

Here's the beauty around the one month they sit down at one think about if you spent time with mom once a month to help loving with that marriage be out for moment right so they're saying this is good, albeit I like some son resettled two weeks and guess what we've been doing family devotions for 20 years now every other Sunday used to be 9 to 10. We do know now is, or was it a deny, and now we do in virtual and around the house that Mary would kids were still doing our family devotionals. My job is to construct a year map it out and I'm kind of walking them through the process every two weeks were on the phone, eight and nine and and now they're old enough they do the teaching they share in the teaching I tell you is that this time we have over the amazing picture of like when it started. Your kids are teenagers today seem interested. I'm thinking in our kids are looking at their watches when is this over where you discourage shall, at the beginning so here's the beauty make it fun if I would've taken a plan to guys I think want to do a plan and let me talk about vision statements. His finger say hey dad, thank you so much. You have a nice day so I did a little bit different approach. I had listened I would go up to Lake Lanier's a log cabin up there right outside of Georgia were just going to spend the weekend together and we did that often will have fun and so will do is go play putt putt golf and do a lot of the fun things that we love some fishing and in different things, and by the way I did when in the public golf tournament, but that's a side story.

You have a scorecard you really is getting continuous amnesia. Sometimes back to reality show. So we go out and we play putt putt. We have a great time and you know how I started. I just shared my story messages will share my story. I want to talk to you about my life before Christ, how I came to Christ my life after Christ. It was in an hour to our story because they want to miss it for that long to use it that long but this time again about 3 to 5 minutes and just want to share my story.

In fact, when is the last time that you was a Christian parent has share your story with your child and was the last time you've heard their story of their Christian. And so I share my story. I just had fun.

And then my wife shared her story and then because my kids were Christian.

They shared their story. But if they were Christian. I still want to hear their story and so when they share their story. There is things I had never heard before and I just say, praise the Lord. So that's how we started and we just started sharing our story from God story and that right and the golden thread that kind of weave through all that process was Christ Jesus. And so that's how we started. And I think so many parents don't start your deluded to this because I just don't feel equipped. I don't know enough. I've heard it many times as a pastor church. I can't really share Christ with my neighbor, I do. I don't know what to say and so I do nothing and obviously you started simple, but I'm guessing over time it's grown right here mean every couple weeks. If you feel like man-to-man. I have some this year have you every couple weeks. Well, here's what we do we we go the process and the goal process. Now we go from vision, mission, all that and then goals. I will be going so we have.

We design our whole devotional process around three goals we call in connection goes you want. So you're one famous connection, your to his commitment and your three is commission. I think your story so encouraging parents because first of all, you said you are praying that God what is in me.

What do I have to offer any really did give you an idea and a plan and working to get into that more but I like to started out with just your story. Your story of salvation story of your life how Jesus led you to him and the same with your wife. We often never shared with our kids. And yet it's a pivotal part of our history and our legacy. I think that could be a great place to start with our kids and I think owning the fact that we as parents it's on us.

I mean, it's really easy to farm it out. Yeah, I think the church needs to do it in your eyes. A pastor for church for years.

And yes, we want to help families do that we want to be in partnership but we know we get your ticket for an hour maybe an hour half a week. You've got him, and yet we as parents and I would just say the dads and moms listening. It's it's your job and it isn't rocket science. We can do this and we are responsible before God to do it. So Dave. He also started out on his first step. I know that the idea of guiding your family spiritually as a husband, or as a wife. This can feel like you're out of your league. It can feel overwhelming you think I don't know where to start. You think I'm not sure I'm making a difference. What we've heard today from Terrence Chapman is we can begin to take some quick easy first steps in the right direction and then watch how God honors that how he blesses that Terrence Chapman has written a book called do your children believe becoming intentional about your family's faith and spiritual legacy. He not only tells about his own journey toward that kind of intentionality, but he maps out for us and easy to follow pattern so that we can begin to implement make some simple changes that will change the trajectory of your family spiritually got copies of Terrence book available you can go to family life today.com to request your copy or call one 800 FL today again. The book is called do your children believe ordered from us online@familylifetoday.com or call one 803 586-329-1800 F as in family L as in life and in the word today that we are at the halfway point in the month of December less than 10 days from the celebration of Christmas so there's a lot going on right now here at family life.

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It's from the book of Psalms day in Orland has written 150 devotions from each of the Psalms and his book is called in the Lord. I take refuge. The book is our gift to you. When you donate again online@familylifetoday.com or by calling one 800 FL today, so we hope to hear from you. Thanks in advance for whatever you're able to do, and please pray for us that will be able to take full advantage of this matching gift opportunity, not tomorrow or to continue to hear about practical ways we can engage our family spiritually point our kids in the right direction help mold and shape their hearts with God's word. Terrence Chapman is back with us tomorrow. I hope you will be as well on behalf of our hosts Dave and Ann Wilson. I'm Bob team will see you back next time for another edition of family life today. Family life to day is a production of family life accrue ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most