God Cares About Who I Sleep With

We think it's bad musical cat is about who recently was because we think you just can come into our lives and restrict us and get in the way of all our pleasure and unite make us miserable is what we pretend to think God cares who we think is because he has about us. He made us welcome the family like today where we might help you pursue relationships that matter most and Wilson and Dave Wilson and you can find this@familylifetoday.com or on our family life and his family life today. The first time that I can remember and I'm am almost sure because I'm always right that we heard that. I heard a message on sexual intimacy from the Bible from God's perspective was literally two weeks before we got married at the weekend.

Remember I remember this because I grew up in a family that there was a lot of pornography in our house. I had read a lot of pornography or just a start. Right, there were going great and I guess darkness right away. Welcome to David exactly where I got our marriage. Do I didn't dive deep really fast.

Sorry everybody, if that took you off guard. A second bite. Just keep going and you never listen to me before, why would you listen to me now anyway what had happened because of my past and their sexual abuse of the stenography. There is no I had never seen affection in a healthy way in our family and so I sit down as a 19-year-old and for the first time in my life I'm hearing a biblical perspective of married sexual intimacy and it blew me away like I have never heard this in my entire life and I was thinking.

I never heard this like this is amazing like this is a good plan and yet the only thing I had heard was the worldly plan and how it would satisfy me and he had left me so lost and broken tenets of the units were things obviously as we were sitting there you you realize man if you do it the way the creator intended it can be glorious and dutiful in a covenant of marriage between a man and woman.

If you miss it and you sort of fall. The culture you don't hear about the damage and about the brokenness is going to result in yet. We are sitting there. We both could feel both of that same time it was presented in such a way that were like we want that we want God's way.

Can God repair what we've messed up and can he lead us to a new new future so so many people didn't get to sit in the ballroom.

They haven't been doing, we can remember to hear this and I hope this message. I hope they will go to one that you can go to one another back on you go to live.com and sign up for one right now and by the way, that isn't the only thing we talk about all we get is that all about sex, but there is one message in the weekend because it's so critical that people understand God's perspective on this and that's why there's books out there and we have an author with us today.

Sam Albury, who wrote a book about God's perspective on sex and welcome the family life today to be busy since I so and by the way, you know, as we talk about your your book which has what a great title why does God care who I sleep with because I think that's a question.

A lot of us have, but you've written other books your your pastor and author. A speaker you speak around the world. I me I could go on and on about your your bio but the most important thing is you are connected to our middle son Austin in your literary publishing world right alignment basis if anything good comes out of my books and it's exhausting as yet. It's pretty cool but I mean as you write this book. Why does God care who I sleep with help us understand you. You obviously are tapping into this is an important question to help people understand God does care and we've Artie talked about a little bit about why he cares but tell us again why does God care so much about this thing that we seem to be flippant about in it. We don't think it's that big a deal. The culture says is run at the big a deal. God says now it's a really big deal. Help us understand again why is it a big deal and how did a loving God create this and give it to us and really is a good beautiful gift every we think it's bad musical cat is about who recently was because you think is just an come into our lives and restrict us and get in the way of all our pleasure and unite make us miserable. This will be pretend to think cares who recently was because he has about us. He made us a love for Jesus says in Matthew five in the summer on the mounts about not looking at some of the lustful intent and you realize God even cares about the people with thinking about sleeping ways because about them so much that it matters to them how they are for about even in the privacy of someone else's mind one of us have that kind of sexual dignity and gold size that he's he's protective of how others even in the run halts with thinking about us. So it's good that he because about these things because he would not be a good goal if you didn't, it is such a profound possible sensitive vulnerable part of our human experience.

He would be negligent not to care about this. It's a bit like so this is also to widen from another very good analogy, but it's a bit like other what I teach people stop learning to drive in America was 1616.

Will something to be like a 16-year-old sign one is my parent care how I drive announcers because used in the right way. A call is an amazing blessing and used in the wrong why it is can do incredible damage to you and through you to others so go because about a receipt with the very same kind of reason apparent should care about how the brand-new learning to drive 16-year-old is is handing a vehicle. These things chose our sexuality is is precious and valuable than gold songs and in a sense, as you are in your book, God's perspective on the human sexuality and married sexuality really highlights the value tell if I'm right or wrong of a person you know one of the analogies or illustrations uses racial and then Hollander, who was one of the first to sort of bring up the whole Larry Nasser thing at Michigan State and were from Michigan so it's just an hour from so it was pretty close to home but one of her questions. You know, I see as victim after victim came forward, was how much is a girl worth write to me when we going to do about this in the as you mentioned also in the book. You know the whole me to movement sorta came out of this whole area of sexual abuse and women saying I have experiences as well. Now again, if sex isn't that big a deal.

Why are all these people send me to, but they're there speaking out to get at something very deep that was taken from them so talk about that a little bit. It obviously gets at the value of a person, but what was going on with that whole thing yeah that there are lots of things it's been happening culturally, that all all very revealing a very significant been telling ourselves in outcome a secular context assignment is so it's just a physical act. It's just exchangeable the fluids, why you so hung up on it is Christians, but if if nothing else to me to movement her shyness that the abuse of sex is formal than physical. There's an emotional, psychological components of it that can be lifelong in its home so you actually read what we're realizing it's not just physical being sexually abused is not the same as breaking your leg is not just a physical wrong that's going on that something much more profound and again it's because in the right context. Sex is meant to involve your and taught psychology in your emotional life and then everything else is is meant to involve the whole ritual personality and therefore the abuse of it is similarly widespread and its effects on glad to me to movement A's is making us more aware of not just the existence of sexual abuse, but of the of the extent of the home that it causes with becoming a little more sensitive to these things. I think culturally, the mapping and the cost but at the same time it gives us as Christians an opportunity to say this just shows us we're not dating with with just overly fluids here.

It's not just physical something far more profound as a play when it comes to human sexuality and is that something profound that actually drives what the Bible says about these things. It's interesting as this as you are talking out thinking about yes when their sexual abuse. There is no choice and you feel like something was stolen from you, but I would also say in this. This isn't talked about very much but for myself, I was reciprocal in sexual relationships I had before I got married that were sin, and because I had a say in. I felt like well that's on me and so there is a new kind of shame.

There's it is a different kind of shame that yes with abuse.

It was stolen with my promiscuity. I gave it away and yet I still felt deep shame about it but I couldn't really explain it when I was in it because I was making those choices for myself, I still felt a sense of emptiness and us chattering a little bit of my soul when I felt like it wasn't reciprocated in love by the other person and imagining how many shattered souls. There are in our world that we don't really speak about it very often because we feel like we've done that to ourselves and yet Jesus walks into this great restorer, and the Redeemer at the from giver, and I'm so glad that he does restore right when we watch those the whole court case of these girls telling that Larry Nasser, this is what you've done to me. This was what you stolen.

I sat.

I think many of us sat and just wept at the pain that these girls felt I was angry till there is a righteous anger in that moment nothing for being so honest about your experience and I hope some of these things become easier for us to talk about most of the culturally was still being fit this narrative a little time to the multiple sexual partners is fun that it doesn't matter. It doesn't mean anything such that promiscuity is in any way, not in our best interests, says very hot. Therefore, for people who've been promiscuous to put the finger on what now doesn't feel right.

Yeah. Because culture saying this is a plus having a great song. This is this is life to the full and that it can feel very empty and very holy, and we need some make all churches places where it's it's gonna safe to talk about that it's safe to articulate that without feeling kind of on GU levels of embarrassment because we we need the gospel at this very point. When we hold about ourselves. We need someone who can come into our laws as Jesus does to to fill a lots of fresh again to restore to us what is being lost and to redeem what is being broken, which he does so wonderfully jealous. Talk about that a little bit because I know when I got married and obviously we talked, especially her very honestly, not quite as is well. I am missing its is coupled with even ask us like what regrets do you have about your past and you know it's interesting as I think about my life as a nonbeliever before my junior year in college I was. I didn't realize the Bible even said the sins of your father sort of visit through the generation I was copying the sins of my dad and I didn't even know him. He was not a part of my life after I was six years old and yet here I am on a college campus drinking like my dad did womanizing like my dad did. I was doing all the things that my dad did.

Even though I really never saw him do this and here I am living out this life. Obviously there were consequences so we get married in again when people asked me what he regret I don't regret. I mean, obviously I would wish I would've done any of that. But the one thing that comes to my mind is the sexual involvement before marriage because of the effects it had on our marriage the first year, first couple years of our marriage we had to struggle through. It was all our baggage. It was baggage from that didn't nobody ever told us there will be consequences.

Yeah, you can live it up, but there will be consequences that you bring in that to just your bedroom but your whole marriage. Yet God met us and I could talk about how God met us, but I'd love to hear you Sam talk about okay so how does God meet a person who has messed up in this area who hasn't followed God's plan and now they're listening. They're saying can God restore my soul how to how does he do that will let's be clear goat doesn't meet people who want broken in this area of life. Because those people don't exist.

One of the front of big moments of clarity for me.

Looking at the sun on the mount. When Jesus talks about lost is what he's doing. There is a showing us that the 10 Commandments were never given, so that we could prove how good we all the tank moments were given to show what is in the halts to show that we will only ever relate to God on the basis of his his kindness and mercy to us, not on the basis of worthiness and obedience in everything I things like that. It's not that we know most people out there are basically sexually fine and sorted and then there's the poor listener he's feeding, lockable, their mass and that the exception to the rule. Jesus assigned one of us have adulterous halts. Some of us may have expressed that physically more than others but roommate of the same stuff on this and therefore we will meet the price of gold and that's exactly who he is. Psalm 51 is David coming to terms with his own sexual sin. His sin was far more than sexual but it was certainly driven by kind of improper sexual desires and David knows that there is mercy even for his pretty horrific sexual sin. The court is able to restore the things that we that we mess up is able to give back to us the very things that we had taken from us the things that we have damaged ourselves going is able to get those things back to us better than they were before it, it's just the kind of gold he is sorry he is not limited by our sins as if what I offs now send myself into such a place of gold really can't do much with me. Now that the rule materials just so you messed up. This is a court of resurrection. A court of creation out of nothing and so he is able to to bring back into our laws fall far more than we would've ever been able to accomplish and fumbles and suddenly the meters of on-site. No one is ever to follow: for goal to be able to intervene in the in a beautiful way in the lives they're going to be consequences of all sins that we we still have to live with David still had to deal with some of the physical out workings of his sin on show but we know when a halts that we can be forgiven and cleansed and made new and however crazy and destructive sexual history mod of being called can still bring sexual health to us high level Eisai say this is why God cares who I sleep with our sexuality is meant to tell a story when he mean by that is one of the great things that we see in the Bible. The Bible begins with Adam and Eve getting together. And the reason it begins with that rather than something else is because Adam and Eve getting together is going to become a picture of how heaven and earth are going to come together through Jesus Christ through the whole rest of the bobbin and the end of the Bible is the new Jerusalem, coming down from heaven to us in at the heaven and earth meeting in this new community of goats. People on human sexuality is designed to points of that right reality human marriage is meant to point beyond itself to the ultimate marriage, Jesus comes announcing himself to be the bridegroom because he saying I am to divine husband. The Old Testament always play golf on Jesus coming into this world is is called wanting to put rings on fingers to say let's make you mine now come to me. I thought evangelists like Michael grain over the years talk about when when Jesus is hanging on the cross. It's as if the father is saying save you. Will you take this into wow tubules you know to love them to all of them to cherish them now and forever more and and by hanging on the cross and stretching out his arms. Jesus is saying, I will. I will answer the question then Thomas is will send it. Would you take the Savior to be your husband so you all human sexuality is, is meant to be about that and we don't have to be married for sexuality to to be about that on I'm single and so what that means is when I feel sexual yearnings and sexual desires that have to go for now unfulfilled. I can let those yearnings and those desires reminds me that there is a deep yearning and a deeper desire in the human soul that is fully met by Jesus and these unmet sexual desire was about a temporal picture is that it's tunnel satisfaction. One of us can find in Jesus. He is the one for whom we have been made. Eve was was made out of items. Slight and Jesus was wounded in his site that is at his death, and out of that Whittington comes his bride, the church that we can know him and another that full union with him honey sent one of beautiful picture that I've never really considered the way you set any of thinking the next time any person has sexual urges instead of you know some of the culture send go with it. You know those are them.

Those are from your body and there's none you're saying those urges can point to the gospel. They can point you to a Savior who shows you and so you don't have to fulfill those fleshly desires which, in our mind. We know this. This is can have negative consequences, and most the time we say that's okay. I'm going to deal with it now. This can push us the other way it pushes us to the cross. It pushes us to forgiveness. It pushes us to a Savior rather than a way to be embraced. That's a beautiful picture of what God wants that. The great thing is, it means I don't have, to satisfy my sexual desires. In order to fulfill the purpose of my sexuality.

I can actually fulfill the purpose of my sexuality by letting my sexuality .2 that relationship with Jesus. What is that look like Sam. Practically speaking, because I'm thinking unless you're really connected to the father that year in an ongoing dynamic relationship, it would be really easy just to get sucked back into the cultural view. You should satisfy your own fleshly yearnings. So what is that look like hell have you done that when you had that urge. How do you go to Christ as a number things ready truth internalized makes a big difference and realizing that you know Jesus was was never married. He was never sexually active.

He never dated and yet he was the most fully human and complete person who ever lived, so that tells me that when culture says hey if you miss out on this.

You really missing out on authentic full life. I know that's not true because otherwise Jesus wasn't for the human enhancement that can't be the case so it helps to think like I know you. This is not however deep these feelings go and however painful. Some of those yearnings may be at times. I'm not missing out on something ultimate. The thing that is ultimate. I actually have in Jesus. I could have no sex in this world and have fall mole of that ultimate fulfillment than someone who has tons and tons of sex in this life but doesn't know Jesus who, because that the real conservation is is going to be experienced and enjoyed in the marriage supper of the Lamb is revelation shows us so just want to keep myself oriented to that perspective really helps the makes makes a big difference and therefore to see behind so sexual yearnings disorder, though they inevitably all to see them as is breadcrumbs pointing back up to that ultimate union of heaven in us in Jesus Christ here assisting you say in your book, sex is God's appointed way for two people in marriage to reciprocally say to one another.

I belong completely permanently and exclusively to you. You think I'm coaching Timothy Calderon Diane without particular line yeah that sounds too good to be in everything that's really good is usually killer it out there. Sam or killer, but I mean that quote is so such a beautiful picture of the sexual union in marriage, but it's also beautiful picture of what Jesus says to us.

I am completely and permanently exclusively yours. That's why the sexual union marriage is a picture of the gospel in a in a really beautiful way that you've helped us with your booking with this interviewed. Is this a man that is the image we need to center our minds on around sex and I also think he said it earlier San.

He said these conversations with her kids have to begin when they're younger that they have an idea.

This is a God who loves us. There is a God who wants the best for you and then we have those conversations about sexuality the world and our culture is having those conversations. But what would it look like to have these conversations around our dinner tables and at bedtime with our teams are little kids that they grow up having a biblical mindset. Dave so that one day they don't sit at a conference thinking is that God's plan for further married sexuality. We should be telling our kids this plan from the time that there little inappropriate ways to the time their adults in that they can look forward not only to what God has for them whether they get married or not, but this journey that God the father has for them in relationship with him commented that from there. Thanks am in great 90 we have good news and a good message to share with people when it comes to human sexuality. I know people see the Christian view of sex is outdated or restrictive or judgmental, they see cohabitation is normal for many people this is a barrier to considering the Christian faith. But Sam Albury has written a wonderful book called why does God care who I sleep with. That's what we been talking about this week and would love to send you a copy of Sam's book, you can request your copy online@familylifeto.com or call to order at one 800 FL today. Again, the title of Sam Albury's book is why does God care who I sleep with.

Order online@familylifetodate.com or call 1-800-358-6329 that's one 800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today to request a copy of Sam's book. Damon and Wilson mentioned the family life. We can remember marriage getaway is a place where we teach God's design for marriage and for our sexuality were excited.

We've had four of these getaways already this fall in Chattanooga and Augustine of Cedar Rapids in Tampa next weekend were in Raleigh and in San Diego actually La Jolla.

We got conferences, continuing through the fall.

David Robbins, the person of family life is here with me and David. It's exciting for us to have these weekend.

Remember getaways happening again, and we are so glad to be back in person to see firsthand God meeting people where they're at. We all are going through so much over this past year or so and Meg and I were just recently at a weekend to remember and we had some people email us and tell us how it impacted them one of them is that we came here in pieces and we are leaving as one. Another one said we don't need to panic and are paying our issues are common and expected in marriage.

There's always hope. And that's what we see time and time again that these we can the remembers people, ringing in wherever they're at their marriage summer doing great and strong, and that's a great weekend away. Others are really needing God to meet them in some deep places of where they are at and we see God show up time and time again. I just want to invite you in, and ask you to make this a priority in your marriage and if you need more information about where and when a weekend to remember is coming to a city near you go to our website.

Family life to date.com there's a link there. It'll give you all the information you need so you can join us at an upcoming getaway. We hope to see you at one of these. Thank you and we hope you have a great weekend this weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church and we hope you can join us back on Monday when David and Wilson to talk about how powerful and how important our words are in marriage. The way we communicate to one another, but we say the tone leaves all of this makes a huge difference in our relationship will hear more about that Monday hope you can tune in for that on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson on Bob Lupe. Have a great weekend will see you Monday for another edition of family life today. Family life today is a production of family life accrue ministering, helping you pursue the relationships that matter most