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September 23, 2021 2:00 am
Seeing marriages fail can sometimes make a person wonder, "What's the point?" Pastor and author Jonathan Pokluda clearly explains marriage's purpose and design.
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This is my lot in life to love her even as my own body for the rest of my days like that's what I'm doing right so I'm trying to I identify her knees and anticipate her needs and at every moment meet her needs. However, I can lay my life down for that's my room and in that the gospel is displayed welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most time Ian Wilson and I'm Dave Wilson and you can find us@familylifetoday.com or on our family life, family life today, so today we get to listen to part two of a great message from Jonathan Cuda on marriage that he gave it his church's Creek Baptist Church in Waco. He's a great friend really great communicator and preacher to yet.
He got into some good stuff in part one.
He talked about the S word sitting position and sacrifice. Actually, in this next part is just as great year and 11 verse 26.
Back in the Scripture says to make her holy to make her holy, what's the word, to make holy.
What's a word that that we said that in one word would be to make holy art sanctifies sanctification's attendance in seminary word that means to make holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless in this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself.
After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church back to Jesus and the church God.
For we are members of his body.
The ghost wives husband marriage Jesus church marriage. Wives husband's marriage Jesus church marriages talk about marriage is different than what you think is washing her as with water through the words not talking about baptism, but the word of God. The gospel implanted in us, but also the word.
The 66 books that God has left us with to give us all of the instruction that we need for godliness. The Scriptures, the Bible and it was interesting to me is like sometimes and this idea of women submit men sacrifice.
I think it's like reverse like sometimes I think as guys we're better off not submitting and it looks like abdicating like she's asked me how much do we want to give to Midway school care.
Can you just figure it out. Can you just handle that when she sent you partner with me in this. When you take an interest in what I'm doing right here because I gotta make a decision here and what I'm really telling you is I prefer not to make it by myself just go and women are so great is sacrifice. Generally speaking, I can't give up everything to follow you out of the sky like what we need, but I think the roles are different because God wants to produce something different in us sanctification. The mission of marriage is sanctification through service. The mission of marriage is sanctification through service. Sanctification means becoming holy Bruno Mars says I love you just the way you are.
We all like that on somebody that just takes me right where I am like I will tell you in this church. Everybody's looking there's not anybody on the planet Earth. That's not welcome in here, no matter where you are, no matter what your struggle is right. You are welcome. But if you're like are you going to ask me to change course. That's what you would come in here because you desire to grow in holiness to become more like We all are on that mission were all changing sanctification means changing it so don't marry them, hoping that they'll change it to become someone else. You could choose anyone that you want.
You have the whole world to choose to who you're going to marry and I will tell you and people do change. Sometimes in ways that you didn't want a friend of mine who I just tremendously respect their perspective on this topic that they rested with this as much as anyone I know it and they said this don't go into it that his marriage don't go into it thinking you can change someone, and if you're already there meaning in marriage. Let go of thinking you can change your spouse only God can change their heart but they have to want it and so your role is a lot of prayer, not an effort to changing them but a lot of prayer we see this in verse 27 really see throughout the Scriptures.
First Peter. This concept of trusting God to do the changing radically change my marriage because I went in the marriage of and I thought like your wine was just the honeymoon is off on year to got hard and I thought my role is on the parents like I just I need to like I need to know leadership means telling people what to do is what I thought what I've stupidly thought and what would happen is we are constantly playing tug-of-war. She would say something significant. Do that and she pulled her over and I pulled the rope we just go back and forth plan to work for a real example I'll give you it's a silly example, but it actually happened is she she came in she said I think I need a new car right in the way I responded that I could get you a new car is due this thing with my eyebrows like a here's what she would hear yourself stupid you think were actually going to kiss you a new car. What is wrong with you and what she would do as you well that's what I really want. She pulled the rope and I assume that's because you can get one that pulled the rope and we drove back and forth, back and one day I was in studying the word, and it was like the Lord just said to me, or revealed to me through his word, which jiffy she has the Holy Spirit. She's one of the surest voices of me in your life. She's my provision to you and you don't have all things figured out. You have no idea what I want to do. You have my revealed will. But you don't have my mysterious will she's a way that I'm to make known to you my mysterious, will you need to listen to her and what that gave me the freedom to do and that really silly scenarios where she says hey I really like the new car. I have to like parents if you will. What kind of car like this can be blessed. Think about is trying my matter what car you want for suburban minutes it will color a black cat like with CIA list of what what color interior light of light because were in Texas and is hot. Yes, leather probably to that would be fun and we can just get excited and maybe not give anything. I don't know the because that's what you want, let me to look let me do the research.
Let me listen let me die then and now she feels love you even if I come that scenario was the cattle think we can do that. Just the fact that I would put in the work and listen to her. She feels care for and we all can do that and we did it when we were dating and at some point the flower died so we serve each other says love, even as their own bodies, even as their own bodies. What is that me when my body is hungry or I do find food so to love her even as I'm about, like when I feel hunger pains my body sending a signal to the light flashing at your hungry lady so I did it but now these two have become one flesh with her life has melted into mine right and welded my melted in the mind and so now I'm I'm seeking her best interest limited with the soap I love to sleep right like when when it's bedtime. I love the kind of obsessed with getting a good night sleep so that I can attack the day the next day, so I'm counting my hours all of that stuff how I like it when it's cold, so right now it is cold outside like that's the perfect time. Like I love you. We have one of those foam mattresses get all snuggled up in their guard down comforter. It's amazing snuggled up in their temperature set just riding on Mike and on and she's gets embedded where embedded like it's bedtime we set our prayers together and I'm I'm out like I'm sleep and I'm already dreaming. You know I'm on the Derek's and she's like, hey babe you know you do the same thing you know we've been listening to Jonathan to talk about marriage from Ephesians 5 it is church but I can ask you why because the Army I go to bed before you knocked out and it's almost like you sleep. Yes, of course, of a sleep I don't even know how you fell asleep quickly as women rings on our minds. We thought things were going through and I think this teaching happy all the sentencing course I didn't hear sleepy so sweetly And check out like that nice place you are living the gospel.
I guess I am. And don't forget this. JP will be speaking on the love like you made a cruise this February come on the cruise with Ashley like he did, in fact, if you sign up now you get a special discount because you don't miss it.
Guest speakers like JP and others, and it's a fabulous week.let's go back and hear the rest of this great message. Hey babe hey babe is always like hey they are you sleeping no she was, I'm thirsty. That's interesting. She's thirsty right so took me love her as my own body out of bed and I'm getting some water because she thirsty and this is my lot in life to love her even as my own body for the rest of my days like that's what I'm doing right so I'm trying to identify her need to anticipate her needs and at every moment meet her needs. However, I can lay my life down. That's my role and in that standing at the refrigerator when I want to be sleeping. Getting some water trying not to wake the kids with the ice machine. The gospel is displayed in a timely way. The gospel is displayed.
If you don't like to serve. You will not like marriage and if you don't want to change you will not like marriage because both of those are in the mission of marriage I will tell you something. You gotta hear me on this meant she's like the smoke alarm of your home long before anyone sees the fire there smoke.
Maybe you can smell the smoke. Hopefully before anyone can smell the smoke. The smoke alarm can and it begins to be, and you may not see that anything is wrong, but that's when you listen in and you start doing your research with what's bothering her right. I don't see it she's not able to explain it or something going on but she's sleeping and I need to just stop and look around because she can since the I don't get it.
I don't know why God made us this way, but she can since before I can answer when she's beeping. I need to stop everything at the okay.
What is the schools the kids that finances visit work my gone too much of another is sought to understand the season about been short, what is it listen listen listen.
Ask good questions and listen don't get defenses sit on your hands and listen. She's like the smoke alarm when I gotta tell you something doesn't go your mouse on this just because. Here's why. Because men seem to like though it were more likely related you.
I'll talk to you this entire time guys you get accommodated you that when things that you need to do so. So just try to tune me out on this is what talk the ladies for second menu not you are not allowed to ever bring up what I'm about to say ever. Okay, don't ever want want you bring it up, you've lost okay women there's nothing more annoying in the world than a smoke alarm going off for no reason anybody been there in the middle and I like the batteries right and UK like it's going off but there's no fire. There is no smoke and no and it's just beeping so just stop slow down saying what's really bothering me try to get your arms around that me take a quiet time makes feel something right.
You may send something but you're not exactly sure what it is. Go get a quiet time. Sit down to journal begin to write you and thinks that when you call me respect. Hey, here's what's bothering me right now and you're able to articulate it in such a way that were not going from smoke alarm smoke alarm smoke alarm trying to figure out is that the battery or because when these wires disconnected another link together. Maybe it's one of the drawer on even though you know and it is late so so just know that, try, try to understand what's wrong before you bring it. For this reason, something you can ask tonight is where my not meeting your needs. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect her husband. There's a great book out there called love and respect. I commended to you, but if you don't read it I can summarize the entire book that women want to feel loved and men want to feel respected and there's this idea that now.
Paul and the Holy Spirit to call his giving full picture to that marriage is about this profound mystery of Christ and the church and I don't know that we really can clearly articulate that. I don't know that most of us like you can come in here and when someone says what is marriage.
You did say oh it's profound mystery about Christ and the church. Most of us up when we think about marriage.
We think about what Hollywood taught us what the world taught us what others thought of. But the mystery of marriage is this. It showcases the Savior. The mystery of marriage is that it showcases the Savior in ancient Jewish traditions, a Hebrew boy when he was ready for marriage. He would be at his father's house and what he would do is he would leave his father's house, he would go into other cities other communities far away lands and he would begin to look a wife and when he would find a suitable wife for himself. His dad would come behind them and pay what was called the dowry they would sip from the same cup toast of sorts, and they would be betrothed to one another in them what he would do if he would return to his father's house and he would begin to build a room on his father's house called the bridal chamber of room for them to live in right and so she doesn't know when he's going to return for her at an hour and a time that she does not know, but it's whatever he finishes this room. So what she's doing is she's not out continuing to interview guys are doing think she's getting her wedding party together. Her bridesmaids if you will he's she's making address she's making all the preparations for the wedding and then when he's done with that room.
He gets his boys his groomsmen. If you will.
This is thousands of years ago even and then he begins to go to that faraway land and they did have text message or phone call or even letters at this time. So the way they would send word is they would just yell out in front of you. Your blast of trumpets, and you say you John is coming for Jane. John is pursuing Jane and that word would go in front of them from town to town. They blast trumpets and they yell and they would go from city to city till I got this faraway land where his wife was and when that word would get to her. She would grab her girl.
She grabbed her dress. She grabbed the preparations and they would go back together to that bridal chamber and they would be in there for seven days they would make love for seven days. Meanwhile, there's a party going on outside hashtag awkward in seven days later seven days later he would present his bride to his family for the first time. And so when Jesus says where I'm going, you will follow, but I'm going to prepare a place for you in my father's house there are many room and I will return for my dry. It means something so much more than we think there's this profound mystery in marriage with the Gospels, displacing the entire Bible has two very important messages. It starts with one in the first chapter of the first book in the Bible, Genesis 126 says God said, let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so God created mankind in his own image in the image of God he created them male and female he created them. It goes on to say that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and to come one flesh. That's the first wedding the first wedding ever in the history of history and it was a temporary wedding in the whole Bible, the 66 books it ends with another wedding and it's a different wedding. It's a permanent wedding, one that last forever. It's Revelation 19 says let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory for the wedding of the Lamb has come and his bride has made herself ready has made herself ready.
Chapter 21. One of the seven angels who had seven bowls full of seven plagues came and said to me, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb. And so this book that we you know and learn everything we did need to know about God and what it tells us about God, the gospel. It starts with the wedding a temporary wedding and it ends with the wedding a permanent wedding and we will be most of us will be part of both of those kinds wedding, but anyone who trusts in Christ will certainly be a part of his permanent one.
The one that last forever.
That's on husband-and-wife male-female girl married to our bridegroom Jesus Christ, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and marriage showcases this reality in ways that I can't fully conference and when you think about who's teaching you about marriage, you gotta start with Jesus because the mandates of marriage are submission and sacrifice. The mission of marriage is sanctification through service in the mystery of marriage is it showcases the Savior or God can do is he's going to create a marriage is unbreakable one that's permanent. The last forever. All we know is people that do this. Oil and water.
They repel each other. There always is he hot separated again, even after we mixed up a separated oil and water was interesting is note the two primary ingredients of mayonnaise is my know oil and water. Somehow they figured out how to make them stick and not separate in that jar and I know it requires an emulsifier, an emulsifier emulsifier takes one of those water molecules are one of those oil molecules and it bonds them together and mayonnaise the emulsifiers eggs or something about exit takes water and takes oil and bonds. Those molecules together so that it doesn't separate in marriage. The emulsifiers Christ you will not have a marriage is God has intended without Christ being at the center of it. It is impossible for God, who invented marriage, the one who invented it and told us what it is told is what it looks like you can't have it without Jesus set recently with a couple who have been married for more than three decades, there professional people. Their children are grown and their marriage is in a tough spot.
They've lost hope that it can be better but as we've heard today from Jonathan Clodagh. If Christ is in the center of a marriage.
There is reason for hope he can bring beauty from ashes he can restore what the locus have eaten if you are interested in hearing Jonathan precluded his complete message.
It's available on our website@familylifetoday.com you can download the podcast and Jonathan is gotta be joining us in February on the love like you mean it marriage cruise that is setting sail from Newport Canaveral last year we were not able to cruise because of Tobit we had a virtual cruise, but this year were back on board and all heading out into the Caribbean for a great week away where we can focus on one another. We can draw closer to each other draw closer to God. A great lineup of speakers on the cruise including David and Wilson the Kendrick brothers, Dr. Julie Slattery Ron deal. Others, like Jonathan precluded her to be joining us. Would love to have you join us as well. In fact, we've got a special offer for family life today listers right now you can save money on your state room. If you sign up between now and October 4 and the cruise is filling up quickly. So let me encourage you if you'd like to join us now is the time to get in touch with us. Call one 800 FL today to find out more or to register for the cruise Oregon go online@familylifetoday.com for more information. Safety protocols are in place. Cruising is happening again.
It's safe to be back on board a ship so we'd love to have you join us again go to family life today.com for more information or call one 800 FL today. If you have any questions and we hope to see you.
I'm a lot like you mean it marriage cruise in 2022. Not tomorrow. Working to hear a message from filmmaker Alex Kendrick who was I said is can be joining us on the love like you mean it marriage cruise in 2022. Alex shares with us tomorrow about how the relationship between God and his people gives us a picture a template to follow in our relationship with one another in marriage that comes up tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson on Bob Lapine will see you back tomorrow for another edition of family life today helping you pursue the relationships that matter most