The REAL Life

One day in Dallas. I rented my works three times the X that I was running into was Jack Daniels on the Billboard student. It's because specifically they have created this rye whiskey and saw him looking at it like man quit drinking too soon to have that mom and what that's like family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most and Wilson and on Dave Wilson and you can find this in family life today.com or on our family life and his family life today so my dad had a drinking problem for over 60 years of his life and he finally got free in an interesting way why your dad got remarried and I happen to you when we were engaged. I went down to visit your dad and his wife of maybe 10 years your stepmom and I remember asking her like a Celt tell me about you and Dave. Dave was named after his dad tell me about your life with him and she said well I had no idea he was an alcoholic. When we got married uncontrollable fits of rage he was losing the car because he didn't know where he parked it and he would black out every night and she said I thought I have to come up with a strategy and so I thought to myself, and she didn't have faith but she was pretty intuitive and she said I thought to myself what is he love the most in life.

And the thing he loves the most in life is money and so she got of the stuff that he did so, he would black out and she would go around the house and destroy it. She break nears Windows lamps, furniture everything and then in the next day when he would come to he would be aghast to the house.

She said this is what you did and it's happening more and more and he said I can't afford to drink anymore destroy everything in my life. So you got sober course that doesn't work with everybody but it worked with my dad. I mean it was of a switch that flipped and he became a different man. The last 10 years of his life, and I knew there's no day. The thing that really changed them with he came to faith in Jesus. That's what ended up really transformed. It was a pretty amazing transformation and today we get to talk about all kinds of struggles.

You know the people deal with the alcohol could be drug pornography or anger food. I mean, then we've got John Elmore back with us. So, welcome back to family today. John enjoyed bitter regarding merger store this week on family of today coming from your book freedom starts today overcoming struggles and addictions.

One day at a time and what I get. I introduced this week.

As you know, the director pastoral care at watermark church in Dallas. But what's fascinating is obviously you know your story put you in the sea to lead a recovery ministry of over 1200 people a week. I've never heard of a church having that kind of attendance at a weekly recovery ministry.

What you do tell us about that.

It's a total work of God might think we can forget that sometimes because it's just become, normal, but every Monday we call the spiritual emergency room of the DFW Metroplex because the have over thousand people every Monday and have them have zero affiliation with our church there. Just wondering. And because of the pain that some unresolved hurt, pain and struggle addictions so that they can't shake looking apart from Jesus and so the common law of them to stop holding their children very honest terms very authentic, very real with each other and similar to noble gesture of this past week we talk because there were no sonatas known as the Savior's were very clear, very honest and year-long. We would never call this can only become it's your long discipleship to the front of the signs of recovery for the problems the bucket was on. If they leave. One year later. This is discipleship may have been led and loved and shepherded Jesus Christ.

So there's like a large group teaching worship testimonies every Monday night and you break up the gender specific groups male and female in your in a small group them for a year and it's every struggle under the sun.

We've got witches, prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers, drug addicts, prideful CEOs, homeless every struggle in the sun, and Jesus sets them all free.

When the ready in this. It's a beautiful thing that's crazy talk about how he sits on free because that's you know your your books actually devotional you know 90 day Serta Devo that you can read and let God use it to lead you to freedom. Whenever you told us your story, which talk about being real and honest.

If the listener misted. You gotta go back and listen yeah it was a powerful day were all crying in the studio that day like crying hard in some way because I didn't know you then it's almost hard to believe because you look at you now you talk about redemption and new life in Christ and a new creature. The old is gone. I'm looking at a new creature based on what used shared you know a guy had a shotgun to his head right end his life because he was just addicted to alcohol is set free, but it wasn't like instantaneous right. It was set free and some people walk away and they never, and yet you even shared in the book, not in our program that you shared how your driving around and you have flings with your ex to talk about that Leviticus.

When you read that you're like what's he talking about, but it's different than you think that I think that a dream might be called lingering lovers. One day in Dallas.

I rented my X3 times which douses big-city right was one of the nation top 10 largest city is a run into someone by happenstance. Three times is collect what is going on here I go I find new routes to work or something to this is crazy X that I was running into was Jack Daniels on a billboard specifically and was still considered my mind and remember it and it's because specifically they have created this rye whiskey that inhabit than the subject.

Daniels whiskey gentleman jock.

I know too much about alcohol all document windows in college didn't have Rod and saw him looking at it from like man quit drinking too soon to have that what that's like Apple have that need to be humble glass couple gives us just like I'm there. I'm already thinking about my X3 times three billboards in three different locations and know Satan send him take vacation. He knows he remembers and offered way to me stories about people who 10 years 15 years 25 years of sobriety from alcohol porn eating disorder whatever and then they fall, and when they fall they fall hard relapse isn't ugly saying it's not ugly that it shouldn't be talked about, but when it happens it usually we usually go pretty big.

Once we cave into that in them you think this book is helpful. Not when it's split or so before I thought Jesus just saved us eternally.

He wants us invites us to walk with him daily.

Now, as we do. He promises it's his promise to keep this crazy God gives a promise he says you will not do what you don't want to do you won't gratify the desires of the flesh. If you walk with me walk with me try to follow my laws below to show you when your Internet abounds like a chocolate and football field can keep you in the shows when you're out. The power is in the second petition of the spirit. So walk with the spirit so that the daily walk with God. Again, you reference in Galatians 5 walk by the Spirit you will not indulge the desires of the flesh.

I think a lot of us read that are here that in think the opposite is like if I can stop the indulgence of the flesh, then I can walk.

We got movies like we try to stop what were we don't want to do and then we well for God and it's the opposite right and that's the letter to the Galatians. That's what Paul gave them the strongest language that he wrote in the New Testament of all of his letters to the Galatians, it was because of this they trust in Jesus for salvation and they said but were not to trust and forsake the petition right will trust them for writers of sins and freedom from hell. But now we follow all the rules of the Old Testament because they are good right and holy as we follow him and he says who's bewitched you foolish Galatians, she goes strong, it was because they become real followers what you just said like I will stop doing what we don't want to do so that we can be right with God is like, if anyone, let them be eternally cursed if the sure gospel of nystagmus for our and I also think I don't know if I'm right, I think a lot of people have tried that former Christiana world.

She had rolled away doesn't work so they walk away as I get I try to do that that Christianity thing didn't work for me. I know that people can do that I couldn't do it so I'm out, and they never understood another know it's surrender to the spirit of God, he will give you power and here's nothing telephone right about this.

It doesn't say when you walk by the Spirit you won't have desire it says you want indulge that desire. So when you see the Jack Daniels billboard. It isn't like I have no desires.

I go now desires there but I have a power now to not do it.

How did you get a present day. Let me Martin Luther says you can't stop the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest like the flawed. The temptations to come that you don't like invite that and build a home for I think that temptation is always in exist. I think in the church we've stop talking about sin or will talk about in theological sense. But not unlike a this is what you're dealing with.

Since we stop talking about sin. Once we come to Jesus. That's crazy and so you got a bunch people sit in the Rosen pews and suffering in silence.

When you enter send because what you trust in Jesus trust will struggle anymore and people do.

The reality is like no I have.

I have wept with God when my you know speaking hypothetically like someone's wife catches them in pornography the pleading with God to take away God's all-knowing, all-powerful, ever present and yet he hasn't. He doesn't so we do is that if you like, dear wife, sorry I asked God to take away, but he hasn't. But she's like you keep going back to this do not love me and the struggle remains and so we have to talk about sin and we have to talk about repentance. I think the church has forgotten how to repent. It's clear the Scriptures, 500 years ago. You've got Luther nailing his 95 theses in the first four are all about repentance, which screams this is of utmost importance, and you got John Olin who like is telling the church you have to mortify sin. Make it your daily work ceased. Not a day from it be killing sin or it will be killing you. There's no alternative. There is no neutral till seven or it kills you and Jonathan Edwards, who led the great awakening in America and he wrote these 70 resolutions this the semi-things I will and will not do a read them every week as a reminder, like I'm gonna drift.

I got that this anchor this morning of my soul for the desires, the temptations, the lingering lovers.

The come back around the minerals in the hotel room was not by myself for this import is not really my thing like it was it was much more alcoholism, but it was a thing more from a walk and turn the TV. It's Romans 1314 Clovis of the largest crowds make no provision for the flesh.

So what is that look like in the church if we did talk about sin more in repentance more because you're saying like this is something it's so important because I feel like this to people or were sitting in our pews in shame, except were aware in our Sunday best, when actually we should be exposing our Sunday worst bright likely would you do like plan church yeah this is crazy. We just fought in the parking lot and your nagging endured that the poor and our kids are rebellious and working, put on nice clothes and smiling worship. Even though we don't believe is actually a move that's crazy like we got a turn from that and so every time I preach. Also, I am a recovered alcoholic like it always will. Until I die because that's what Jesus said me from and everyone is a certain medical as Savior. Paul writes to little protégé Timothy knows once a blasphemer persecutor violent man and he leaves with. This was my sin, so that the unlimited patience and mercy could be put on display Mary Magdalene out of it not to fund the Jesus's ministry. It says, out of whom seven demons came like the Scripture makes it painfully clear. This is who they were before Christ never forget because all of us have, for not all sub after were still not in between. So we gotta talk about sin and we've not given the people.

The path back to freedom. So, look, this is not some Christian's life talk that I pulled in from AA. This is like Dr. Scriptures Dr. like what the reformers were preaching that led to like an awakening in the Georgia revival and so I say that repentance is the root of revival. We all want it will revival, but God's like to do some hard work than he does about us. It's not bar willpower and I'm guessing in recovery.

You guys are talking about that, like you're showing off your scars in your pain because Jesus is the one that healed you even though you still have scars and the thing that we owe a say in our churches when were in a group in recovery. People had their wee holy skull like all for eight were so excited they're here. They're the most real authentic people that will go there to the very core of issues and they are just real talk about okay we are to be honest in a church in a small group, you know like you are recovery how do we do that how do we talk about the struggle in the sin and the maybe the addictions that were struggling with in a way that is redemptive because you can live there and just sort of sit in the darkness center by said to me to and stay in darkness, or you can talk about it honestly.

But then be walking somewhere out ethical outcomes to avoid sure testimonies people like glorifies.

The result is like horror stories that make you ready, like wide-eyed and gas is like a sins, not the hero right who Jesus is, as we make sure we sure testimonies is one third life before Christ. One third what Jesus did in one third what life is like after Christ because one of give people the picture for the before-and-after in the dirt and put in between what you just trust in Jesus and everything is magically good, like there's progressive sanctification, and I think it starts with leadership. Leadership in the home. Trust leadership in the church leadership on staff teams. It has to say leaders go first or others may never. So we have to you see Paul doing this is throughout the Scripture looming the Lord who penned the Scriptures through those 40 authors. He made sure to write about the failures of every leader in the book and why because he knows that that's the commonality all 8 billion people walking this earth have problems we all have sin but don't know the way out and so leaders have to go first. And I think what that looks like is a real honest confession with our families and with from the stage of your pastor is what what I do when I leave the meeting every Monday night meeting. Sounds like crazy. Symptoms like full-blown church service. Also, Jimenez John S Ave. life in Christ recovery from alcoholism, fear of man in this past week… Last week what mine was most careless words, both with my children and in ministry and that's not okay. What we always say Avenue life in Christ because I'm not in the name and use a ham John alcoholic or nonalcoholic. Yes, I totally yeah until people were not sinners who St. we are saints who sin when you Scriptures when Paul writes to the Corinthians.

Do they were there, a rowdy bunch and yet he calls them Saints hockey of his holy ones set apart holy and God will certain seem like it is reminding them what you do is not who you are or whose you are. Your identities Jesus as you fix your foundation on your identity, your belief determines your behavior.

If we walk around ourselves just call ourselves sinners all the time and think it's gonna one another to reflect Scripture into think of them start embodying the identity and also so I said in this week and I always say will struggle with this weekly graviton reflection like it was being harsh with my children lust or pride or passivity or careless words and keeps me really close to my own brokenness, which keeps me really close to my Savior, which keeps me really close to being will share with others.

From an authentic place can be known here. I can share were actually am one of the fake is a future sure that from the stage and he is not getting walked off or fired. The maybe it's safe for me to share my sin to and then you don't just share it become a path for repentance and DOS either sets people free or doesn't and would make him a liar.

If you didn't does a dozen powerful ways, and we just forgotten how to return as you shared time that I mean just that sentence when you are talking about your husband been struggling with porn and then he gets better, and then he falls, and I've talked to hundreds, probably of of couples that have struggled with this and why that are giving up like this is just alias and I don't even have any hope that he will get better and maybe it's alcohol or maybe it's some other addiction encouraged the spouse like what is that look like, what's the best way for us to respond one before I forget it is very much become a female problem to yeah with pornography. So for any of those listeners or women want to know what you're not the only one that's what Satan wants you to think that you are not. I think women are less prone to share because they feel like there's something wrong with me at this is my guys struggle. Yeah, this is not the case is no temptation has seized you except what is common to mankind's like this is for everyone, so what I would encourage anyone listening to is James 516.

It's another command with a promise he says, confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. So there's this threefold thing we do our part which is to confess than they do their part which is to pray and God does his part which is to heal. That's an amazing equation think a lot of times was undercover circles will just confess like you know this week I was chosen a while for younger kids or look at porn. Thanks for sharing. That's a phrase like no that's a terrible response but thanks for sharing.

It's one of two things scores Scripture is James not me it's you either then reciprocally confess your son or you pray for them and then you confess your son because it says, confess your sins to one another and pray for each other.

It's this reciprocal thing were doing it together to each other than praying for each other not condemning each other not shaming each other not showing each other doesn't even say respond with biblical counsel, though I believe that happens at a time. This is your immediate response is to either confess or pray, it says God heals that's so amazing that we can take them as promised, but the way that we taking his promise is by doing that very thing. It's taken that orthodoxy and making it with the proxy server church every community group gathering we say have you fed your soul how you fed your flesh, and how are you feeling others. Is this threefold thing.

That's like this when doing to like feast on the Lord. Here's where I feasted on the flesh is a confession here from feeling others for discipleship members prayer over the person and nobody gets out of the room because what happened was, there was a problem person in the room went out of Bobby's little porn work on him like wells for looking so for someone.

It says if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is menace. So now nobody did know the room without confessing some of confession discovering the light things. Darwin and LaSala spouse brings it to their spouse. Yes, about that which would be if a husband again my wife or wife confesses the porn or whatever. I think the pray for each other and I think that spouse also you know would be really amazing is for them to confess their sin to like you know what I've been really controlling and I like it's like all yeah this is hard because Dave and I went through this he came to me in our early years and married Sam really struggling with this and I explode like are you kidding, and then he would lie about it and then I get even more mad and sell one think he went confess which I made him feel so bad so guilty. I was so wrong in my response. We didn't have John the coach.

I know when I needed his book, we need to go to the program so I look at that and think 09 confessing my own sin is certain I would just end it here to say.

One of things I discovered. I know John you know this and I think you see it every Monday night, if not even more is the second you confess the second you bring some that's hidden in the dark into the light deli from right around the grip of that sin.

This struggle gets a little less. I'm not saying it's over, just by speaking it out, but once it's actually said out loud to a friend or maybe even a stranger that some way that you can trust. The second you speak it, your starting whether you know or not a road to healing. You may not get there because you have to stay on that road, but if you're not will never speak it. Guess what I've said this thousand times from the pulpit. If it's in secret secret wins if it's in the dark. The darkness so when the second it's in the light you're starting road to recovery. So I here's what I would just say there's someone listening. You need to tell somebody today today today you need to tell your spouse a trusted friend. Somebody on the him and I know right now you're your turn off the pod. Guess you turn off the radio like I don't want to hear this but this is the moment that you tell somebody you take a step to a new life is that I was healing apart from the scriptural end date. I would say for the spouse. That was really big what you said and that you're now confessing your own sin.

I was so prideful because I thought this is your problem. I am fine. But what resulted was I had air against pride fear. I had my own issues and I could've confess that in giving Dave grace and we prayed about it together. That can't really change things quicker. I think we would've had recovery much sooner and I'm hoping there's some conversations begin to have and renew to Lord Libby, who the verse that Dave and Anna and John were just alluding to just talking about is James chapter 5 verse 16. Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.

That's true in our marriages. It's true when we are stuck in sinful patterns or addictions controlling behaviors we need to enlist the help of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

We need to enlist the help of our spouse to get free from these sins, that is, the book of Hebrews talks about so easily entangle us and John Elmore's book freedom starts today is a guidebook to help you on the path to freedom that would love to send you a copy of John's book today whether you're going through a struggle yourself or you know someone who is or you want to be able to help others who are struggling with addictions. You can request your copy of the book freedom starts today when you make a donation to help support the ongoing work of family life. Today we are entirely listener dependent here at this ministry all the work we do all the people whose lives are being impacted because of this radio program. The podcasts that the website that we have the events that we host the resources we create everything we do at family life happens because listeners like you help make it happen. So if you can make a donation today would love to send you John Elmore's book freedom starts today donate online@familylifetoday.com or call to donate at one 800 FL today that's one 803 586-329-1800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today. Thanks in advance for your donation and we look forward to sending you a copy of John's book freedom starts today not one other thing I need to let you know about before we wrap up your today we got an event coming up in October and it's October 14 and 15th, the today live event. It's the family life Summit on stepfamily ministry Ron Diehl and others will be focusing on how to help families prepare for life in a blended family.

What can we do proactively as couples are forming a blended family to help them start better and start stronger.

That's the focus of this two-day event can be happening at Johnson ferry Baptist Church in Marietta, Georgia in the Atlanta area. Make plans to be there.

Find out more go to family life to a.com all the information you need is available there. Join us in the Atlanta area for the upcoming summit on stepfamily ministry October 14 and 15th nap tomorrow. Dave and Ann Wilson to talk with John Elmore about what you do in the moment when you're facing temptation to step back into addictive behavior.

You don't want to but it's almost like you can't help yourself. What you do in that moment talk about that tomorrow. Hope you can be with us for that on behalf of our hosts Dave and Ann Wilson on Bob Lapine. See back next time for another edition of family life today. Family life to a is a production of family accrued ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most