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September 13, 2021 2:00 am
Confessing his once-held belief that freedom in Christ was a lie, Pastor John Elmore shares his journey of addiction, near-suicide, and the story of how God intervened.
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This guy walks up to me and he says yes this question and says hey will you commit to staying sober for the next 24 hours, like you don't know what's going on in my life bro but I'm falling apart at the seams of minimum accounts, like maybe you didn't hear what I shared, I don't need a day. I need like a lifetime of health. I need something serious. Welcome to family life today where we might help you pursue the relationships that matter most in Wilson and I'm Dave Wilson and you can find this@familylifetoday.com or on our family life and family life today.
Okay, so we had an interesting drive home for hours in the car and you decide to make a phone call out of nowhere will you talking about my sister yeah your TechNet or visit to see my dad and we start talking about your family I hearing. I figure you know this is where were headed today so tell him I didn't know this is going to happen. Well, a lot of you know that Dave has a background where both parents were alcoholics on there is a lot of abuse adultery. It was pretty painful and as a result of that out of the four kids that are still alive.
None of you really touch base with one another. We talk about once a year, maybe well with one brother once a year.
The others not so much. Maybe once every three okay you make it so bad. Anyway, we were talking about. You have no memories of growing up and so I was like oh we should call your sister and I didn't even have her number so I googled her and looked her up because she's a therapist and we called her and talked for two hours straight. Yeah, the bottom line. The reason I bring it up this you know and ask my sister Pam tell us about you know growing up in the divorce and she starts sharing things. I don't remember any of this. I was 1 to 6 years old childhood. Just abuse, neglect to drunk parents almost every night parties. All I know is I was listening to a story almost of a family. I didn't even know existed, but it was my family and my parents who were addicts and you are really quiet during the whole conversation.
Why were you so quiet what was going on how we can do a counseling session. Curious, I think I was in trauma I was like I can't believe this was my life. You know, listening to the.
The fallout of addiction and today we get to talk about that because not my family so much. But a lot of families have similar stories in some way, and there's hope and there's actually help for people go through that. So we've got an author and speaker in a pastor with us today wrote a book sort of dealing with addictions. John Elmore, thank you for coming to family today welcome all my order was so thankful to be with to review recently is like longtime friends that I've just met him so thankful that what you said there were there was a smile on your face when you're here in is what what was the smile, the smile is the redemption springs. The smile is.
Thank you Lord that you pulled me out of my wreckage before I had children. The smile is that you all are sitting here having honest conversation because everybody's got something they're doing.
Not everybody is talking about.
The smile is the fact that you guys are using your platform, your family life today in your lives so that it was can have hopes that those can start talking about their pain and come out of the freedom that is available there in Christ so I'm so thankful now it's good to have you here.
I mean, a lot of people don't know that you lead. As a pastor watermark church in Dallas. You lead one of the biggest recovery ministries in the country world called regeneration on Monday nights over 1200 people show up every I didn't know the details on that until I read your bio as a speaker in a pastor and a father and a husband and father, three kids right this so you got a lot going on but I'm you I pastor for 30 years and I believe the recovery ministry is one of the most critical ministries in many churches like the front door. The people don't realize that's where a lot of people step in to get exposed to the gospel in the church and so we want to write your story will because you are a book called freedom starts today overcoming struggles and addictions. One day at a time and this is a just somebody else's story. This is your story. So tell us a little bit about your story.
I wrote the book that I needed 100 days sober. So are two things will look at her but sin leads to death to her that there's freedom in Christ there both lies under scare tactics and control doctorates by youth pastors. Sin leads to death is like and what doesn't. Nobody gets drunk at Timeslips girl and dies they don't drop dead Dr. pot a lot more fun than I am and I heard freedom in Christ and what does not. Freedom in Christ it's bonded she keeps me from doing everything I want to do so reject all of it. I walked away because more of a Deist forgot existed but had nothing to do with me. I got the money I got the girl look up job at a paternity office like whatever it was it was my hard work that effort towards her like Jacob in the Old Testament, like throwing sticks and water thinking I was the one doing it no longer was God sustaining me and helping me know when you when you say you heard these these what you thought were lies is that because you grew up in family that took you to charge me word you hear these kind of so yeah we like truth but at that time.
It's out there a lot of that were true. Yeah, for sure. There were truths took me a long time to them face-to-face with the reality of it.
So we groped on the church so Presbyterian Church and sprinkle Missouri but parents sent me off to a Christian summer sports camp every summer. If it's about the money to do that heard the gospel and love me love my son both pleasure or the love God, but the popularity become a chameleon just just after the world and so at the age of 30 with a loaded 12gauge shotgun to my head I realized sin leads to death. Just sometimes has a really long fuse absolutely led to death, relational death, financial DEF physical death. I had three doctors tell me if you keep drinking like this you're going to die, but the point my life as I got home I do what I want to commit suicide and hurt my family. But if I die because of drinking than the probably will hurt them little muscles foolish my own thinking really selfish, but that would've been an escape yeah I read I read last night. Actually, as I was going to your book. I turned and I said hey let me read you what John wrote in the introduction, which you just mentioned, but at the end of this introduction. You said I was drinking with two homeless guys in Austin, Texas. I was lonely. I told them to come sit with me and I would buy them whatever they wanted. This was a new low for me and my family knew it $500 and eight hours later my big brother was on a one-way flight to Austin to put me in my own car and bring me to Dallas for a family intervention so that's where you start the book, but I'm just curious how you grew up like now I'm just a Deist.
What happened in between that part where I'm rejecting God and I have a gun to my head, I planted this problem. You thought I had a problem and I'm guessing it took a while. Yet, the rejection of God was a slow cooker saying I think is an eight-year-old. You know may have trust in Christ but what happened is I thought she saved me internally and I had to follow all the rules the side of eternity and that became this crushing weight but I couldn't failed over and over and over again. We all do, but as a kid was like I can't keep all of your stupid rules like I'm just a colossal failure when it was girls or obedience failed again and again and again so farmers like I guess the problem not you it's me so I'm done. This walked away. I thought that he just saved us from hell. When we died so that became this drift of like I can't do this in the way the law was was crushing me it was to reveal the holiness of God in some forms of me and should've pushed me more to a daily walk, my Savior, but I didn't say no to grasp it controls 30 you just gave in to all of the temptation that all the desire yeah is like on them.
I'm done fighting this in failing sums going to 4 million will go to hell and doctors as appropriate. Windows 8 probably would've. And you know I'm hesitant to share this part of the story often because I've my sin is what got me to place that I was making no mistake about that. But it didn't happen in a vacuum.
So I met a girl to party. We got married soon thereafter felt like love everyone told me, you know, when you felt it was just infatuation your arm sex was euphoria so got married quickly and two years into the marriage she began having an affair with my friends at that point in my life because I built my world on money, status, career in advertising my things or cars or house or like proper olives world which the world would say wow you have it, which is why no one ever thought of a drinking problem drinking problem to do an amazing enough in advertising magazines like doing.
Well I was not doing well and go figure. That someone would have an affirmative's train wreck of an alcoholic husband. Now, bring weed, pills and relationship in reporting the relationship.
Of course I was running for the world and she's probably running for love and so when I found out about the affair went from a functional alcoholic to a dysfunctional cohort unloaded my shotgun, but he probably hundred times in a row, hunting him like your dad that I'm good murder suicide like I must spend life in prison of nothing else to live for. I'll kill you and that'll kill myself one out from John Georgia doctors material is really all me to do just work for the next four years my life to I get up, work hard, eat, drink drunk try to escape the crushing anxiety of the pressure of the world sleep get up to work drunk like talking to doing and so the reason why Sam hesitant to share is because some people might hear about God, my husband wife is been unfaithful summer go the path to work out for John working for me. I saw after her with the gospel 12 times to ask her forgiveness for being married to an alcoholic and they ultimately got married, had kids. The doors forever shot would never prescribe someone to chase down the path of divorce was so destroying is what God uses the amble to just crush me turn me over the most. Let everything unravel and there with Dr. on my head and doctors toenails died of alcoholism got my attention. Realized similar to death and I also realized when I heard this freedom in Christ. I didn't want freedom because I didn't know was a slave to sin. At the age of 30 alcoholic sleeping on the couch losing everything like I need freedom by am desperate for freedom and I can't get free from this, but it's bigger than me and he did not treat me someone through his nose as my sins deserved was no timeout. There is no penance, just perhaps, he wraps you up like a father that he has pulls you out of the fire and doesn't make you better. You did not make me better. He made me new given to you know is you are telling that part of your story absent here looking across the table thinking then it is not who you are.
That's who you were, but yet I can almost not even believe that you know because I had lunch with you and read your book on like this is not who this guy was, but it really was the life you will live in the take us back to how the transformation took place because you show up with your brother showing up and saying there's a fit there's an intervention you're still wallowing in your censure for that intervention look like yeah so those homeless guys and you still can see myself sitting there. Stephen F. Austin Intercontinental Hotel and Congress Ave. in Austin, TX and the she found out put in my car drove me back and this is what a formal intervention with the TV show. This is just like them think they knew what they were doing. This is motivated out of love. I don't think they knew they were following.
Matthew 18, like your brother sensor was faltered and listen to two or three others. They were walking the sphere of influence or gets Dallas appearance of their waiting is that we love you too much to let you do this, you're hurting yourself you're hurting us and not going back to me what you think when you walk in there. Do you think I'm fine this is ridiculous at 11,000 alcoholics really like when you're drinking friends tell you drink too much of doctors tell you what you are, but I just know I didn't know when you're in sin, you usually hang out with people who send like it was normal. My life was normal for the people that I was with Mike sitting on a street with the homeless guys. You didn't think like I can kind of at a low hear nominal mom buddies came and joined me. Eventually, the Lakota school will come coming out to those it was normal file which tells you how far gone I was on them. I just want them off my back, but family is going through detox and the brothers house resort horrific demonic nightmares was insomniac stopped eating paranoid like is just, I mean truly I think God was like, turn you over to it until you yield until you surrender, and which is the story of the prodigal son is what he did. The father says okay you can go and we overlook this part were often like you belong to the positive reading in the kendo senses is like no you didn't come to his senses. He came to his senses. Because of this line we leave out. No one gave him anything someone would give them something distantly. And that's all he wanted was that turning over to do probably like I have nothing to move him to return. So in that nothingness, not even think I'm alcoholic is like hey I'll go to AA alcoholic synonymous walls is one of them off my back so I did and walk in that first night and this guy that I thought he was drunk.
I thought he smelled like gold. Probably me but there is question that I thought was so simple it was stupid like this is so worthless. Like how was this can help her to sit around the circle and tell each other old war stories about drinking some help is magically can make me a better person. This is worthless and I'm so out of fear AA go there for sobriety but not theology. So anyway, Mark. I'm so done in the sky walks up to me and he says yes this question and says hey would you commit to staying sober for the next 24 hours, like you don't know what's going on in my life bro but I'm falling apart at the seams of living on the couch like maybe you didn't hear what I shared, I don't need a day.
I need like a lifetime of help I need something serious so you did share a group yeah I think the Holy Spirit moved me. My was sitting in this a circle and they ask the moderator said, is there anyone here will commit to staying sober for the next 24 hours.
It was mean heart pounding through my chest and all wall I'm just looking around like these people are idiots. This is stupid to me. Out here yeah yeah blown here yeah totally but it was like the Holy Spirit was compelling me out of my chair like I have to walk forward and then there was the bait and switch question. He said hey so you want to quit drinking. So I look forward did anybody else know now so you know, I walked forward and says he will quit drinking like we did mass that not only quit drinking, but I know that if I don't, some on timebomb resort. Yes, sorry we commit staying sober for 24 hours. I'm sure whatever misguided afterwards.
He said his if you do this for you commit staying sober for 24 hours, you need somebody walk through with you need to call me tomorrow talking like the big Lebowski, like Austin, Texas, like all the people to help me look it's you like 70 totally judgmental all yes yes my to point the finger at anyone at this point, I thought you were documented staying sober for 24 hours in his archives. What time is it market six is a great come in tomorrow at six is like oh Pray and ask God to help you stay sober whenever so I do next. So you do pray that yeah but super flippant Superlight Bonomo if you're listening or should do anything next day. Call this guy is like to do it like to stay sober if that's what you mean.
It wasn't hard to be so. If you believe in. My phone starts blowing up what he does every night like to get on the pubs is good on fourth Street was good around town like Mark Nam's of this all-night diner and read the first hundred pages of AA big book I read a different book these days. So he called Dr. Coleman is like stay sober was like yeah like soon drink like no like my God strength. Mark, like what did you pray like yeah so great is my God strength joint on the 24 hours is like hey Charlie I know you mean well, like I really think you're trying to help me. But how long are we going to do this like 24 hours 48 hours like I need real help, go off a ramp. Adam is a yeah done. We commit staying sober for the next 24 hours because you thinking I need more than 24 hours. I this is a long term like this. This is a been drinking since junior high when I would make mixed drinks before Walter got home from school by myself like you'd gone a month right before we might want my parents would put on the pressure. My drinking friends, atonement, drinking too much. Abdallah back and preservative. There was an alcoholic little keep 1/5 of vodka in my desk drawer I could muster the effort and the never to Mr. drinking. It was worse than the first. So yeah like this is stupid. And what good is one day can you do me I don't need a day only two days and a lifetime.
What I didn't know that. In that moment job through the sky. Charlie, who didn't that point believe is no big Lebowski – the big Lebowski nonbeliever like his trust in Christ to crazy -soaked also good. I didn't know that she was teaching me what Paul wrote to the Galatians way back when.
In Galatians 516 if you walk by the Spirit, which is an all day ongoing present tense continuous verbiage is walk with God all day everyday. That's our part and there's a promise you will not gratify the desires of the flesh into what he unbeknownst to him, God was using them to teach me to have a daily dependent walk with God that I just jettisoned from as a kid like you will save you from hell forever, but also save you from hell today, just today here is daily bread. See tomorrow is if you give me weekly broader annual bread.
Let's be honest, he would see me once a week or once a year once a lifetime which is why was so spiritually starving the first place. I thought it's like Jimmy left on bread both Navajo and is now just follow the rules is like no it's daily.
I said, you keep you safe and so this daily sobriety led the daily dependence on God. I knew from a childhood this phrase Jesus saves. So I got on my knees beside the couch that I was living on a set of squandered everything you've given me, but whatever. I've left, it's yours. You give my body my mind my soul my days my time or relationships where I live what I do. My computer my phone my money you get it all. I'm really back God be God of my life and it was like I finally knew what it meant to be born again.
I like everything derived I've had enough Christian knees like been around that world enough is like that. I heard that phrase is a this is what they meant all of life snapped into focus is like this is that like oh my goodness, all of life is to know him and make him known that like there is nothing else. The rest is details 30.
I thought life was over. I thought I'd school. Hundred of so far gone. I just thought it was so Don and I ruined it beyond repair.
And God is like.
Give me give me your divorce. Give me your uncle was given the sexual abuse experiences little to keep all will take those broken parts. I will to something amazing goes, those 15 years ago and and I knew soon thereafter I was gonna spend the rest of my life telling everyone that Jesus is real.
You are never too far gone and he can change everything. Linda also a lip to do have something to give him enough to know where to stop crying in the studio met so inspiring. I think we all feel it. We see your passion for Jesus, we see that he saved you and I think we feel the same thing like that for his goodness he know what he has done for us. He saved us, and he set us free. All of us.
And yet there some people listening. There may be married to someone that's really struggling, or maybe near feeling like I am selling bondage to pornography to the two there's so many different things to drugs and alcohol and we want to talk more about how we can be set free and I would just say thank you, John, because I'm thinking there's someone right now is where you were there at the end of the rope. Maybe they don't know it.
Maybe they just realize that in the last 20 minutes.
This is, I'm Jon, I need to surrender and I want to say to that listener. The reason your listener right now is God put this program in front of you and is calling you home this to himself and to the power of him that can set you free.
Freedom starts with Jesus says in John's your stories is a prime example, ours are similar but different. But the same answer, Jesus is your answer so I want to close in prayer on my mind a listener right now to that, I would say I don't know where you are pure of family room wherever you are. I would do a John did. I would say get on your knees, you don't have to get on your knees. That's not the most important thing, but that posture is a posture of submission and civil surrender still do it every day. Do you really going but surrender his humility, really, if I'm God of my day today on the racket so it's yours visit.
There's no other way to live with cancer tested yeah let me pray and if this is your day.
I want to get on your knees and pray with me right here right now. Father God I give you my life I give you every part of my life I give you my sexuality I give you my addictions I give you my struggles I give you my future. I give you my family I give you my children I give you everything's not mine give you my money I give you the title to my life and every part of my life. I surrender to you and Lord Jesus, I cannot do this apart from you. I cannot overcome my loss and my sin. Only you can.
So I'm inviting you to come in and transform me and give me a power I don't have your power to live the life you call me to live.
I surrender all, and I ask you to make the new give me life starting right here right now in the name of Jesus.
The only name that saves the name Jesus I pray, amen and if were honest everyone of us would have to look at our lives as we have tried to construct them as we have been in charge of them and we would have to say we've made a mess here, even those people who look successful outwardly still have to look inside and say why is there emptiness in my life. Why do I feel so incomplete and part of the reason is what David and will set up in talking with John Elmore about today. If you're not living a surrendered life, then you're gonna find yourself frustrated, angry, alone messed up like John was in the place where freedom starts is with Jesus.
John realize that he's written a book called freedom starts today that is about overcoming struggles and addictions which you have to do day in and day out. Whatever has been the struggle or the addiction that has been controlling your life. John's book can paint a picture for you of how you get from where you are to where you want to be more God wants you to be. We would love to send you a copy of this book. In fact were sending out this week to any of you who would like to get a copy if you can make a donation to help support the ongoing work of this ministry. The book is our gift to you. Family life today is Lister dependent so your financial support is what makes this daily program possible.
It makes all that we do here at family life possible.
We are so grateful for the listeners to help underwrite the cost of this program and again today if you can make a one-time donation or if you'd like to find out about being a monthly family like today legacy partner go to our website.
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Make your donation online and request your copy of John Elmore's book freedom starts today can also call one 800 FL today to make a donation over the phone and request the book that way I would look forward to sending you the book and thanks in advance for your financial support that makes life change possible help strengthen marriages and families.
We appreciate that, tomorrow, or to hear from John Elmore about how you get from where you are today to where you want to be. How do you find freedom and get unstuck from the habits or patterns that have been weighing you down. I hope you can be back with us again tomorrow on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson on Bob being see you next time for another edition of family life today helping you pursue the relationships that matter most