Wives, Cheer Your Man

So that I needed and she says of all the men were not usually so she's like you're right we get married and is like you come home and you walk in the door and all you hear is boom. Honestly, at that time in our marriage. It felt like when I walked in the door. I didn't do that good enough I should do more.

This long story short she the next day got on her knees and said the God who I boom days is saying God. God said yes that was 30 some years ago.

She beginning then and now for the last 30 some years is my biggest cheerleader and feeling like today where we want to help you pursue the relationship that matter most kind and wealthy and I'm Dave Wilson and you can find us@familyliketoday.com or on our family life and my life today so we had another great day today with my favorite communicator. You say that you have Dave Wilson in the house. Giving a message. Actually, I was in another house there was discovery church down in Orlando Florida walking through Ephesians 5, they were in a series in their pastors. A friend of mine, Don cousins and he asked me to come speak on Ephesians 5 and this is the second half of your message. Yeah, here's the great thing about not just this message, but the things that I get into in this message of the kind of things we talk about the we can remember. And the reason I'm telling you that the marriage getaways with family life: we can remembers her all over the country there's going be one probably near where you live and if you sign up right now you get 1/2 off deal okay that's pretty remarkable thoughts. Awesome you can get 1/2 off deal if you sign off to go to family life today.com and sign up. And I mean sign up right now and we can guarantee you it will change your marriage and hopefully this message will as well.

It's going to go back to the passage he goes in the verse 26 he says that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word be honest with you been teaching on marriage for almost 40 years.

I'm not sure I really ever understood this verse what what does it mean to wash her by the water with the word that so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Holy and without blemish. Paul is saying to husbands your to love her in such a way that she is sanctified, some you know the word sanctify hot gas in the Greek is set apart that your wife feels set apart by the way you cherish and love her that she is special that she is number one.

It's like everything else in your life, your wife, Jesus. Your wife. It's like set apart holy and blameless as the washer means the washer so that she is holy and pure holy, set apart sure that is a man's role a husband's role in his wife's life and what does it really mean it means will lead her spiritually to Christ.

The main lead her to Christ me as your her partner in her life. You are called by God men. We are called by God to lead her spiritually to Christ, her Savior and that is me word dictator but it means we lead her in such a way we cherish her lover such a way that we draw her to become the best version of herself. She comes alive because of the way her husband loves and cherishes her. That's a beautiful picture of marriage. And here's the action step right just write this down to your knees hit your knees on her get one Sunday night at about 1130 brought in the bed and I was exhausted. Here's what happened that weekend. 50 years ago Saturday night every semi-churches like you have a Saturday service Saturday service. I then drive down to the team hotel for Lions downtown Detroit was 30 miles away and I speak to the team at their chapel service. I go all go to bed next morning to three services a church in my car drive down to Ford Field change in my sideline gear run on the field at the end of first quarter acting like a been there the whole day but I've been preaching all day walk on to the game do all the stuff after the game basically grief counseling because we got beat again, so I did thing a locker room and I drive home, so it's a long weekend right in front of the bed just exhausted.

Is that a great weekend but I'm exhausted and just as I'm about to close my eyes.

I'm smiling because this is in a funny moment.

But here's what happens. I'm just about falsely by just so exhausted and and says to me, laying right beside me in bed, she says.

Man oh man, I sure wish the guy who led our church lived here. I said what what you say that again I wish you choose here to tell you her version but here's how I heard it and she said some like you know you lead so strong a church praying with passion, worship you preach with a fervor and then you come home and you're just tired and I just wish the way you let our churches the way you lead me GO to sleep but other forget. I wish I could've just said thank you honey that was out that some I need to know and on to do better. I gotta be honest, I literally jumped out of bed.

I think you got it on her husbands are like you got the best husband you could ever imagine. I did do that but I did something like that like soda like you don't realize and then the next day I got my study I close the door. I literally got on my knees when I say I always pray like this but when I will be in full submission posture. What I said God were you trying to talk to me last night. And I heard you. Here's the she was right. I can get on the stage and I can lead I can cast vision and work on here in I come home and I was just tired and exhausted and I was passive she was longing for her man to what lead her lead me like you lead them just do that and she didn't understand this, but that washes her that draws her closer Christ that brings her to a holiness and a plan and it is not all on me. She has her own responsibly walk with God.

But she is longing for her man to lead her and I gotta be honest I said this in our parenting book. I find that it's easier to lead a church and at home to the church and what to do.

I want my family, my gums also lead you to know what that looks like my dad walked out when I was six years old with another woman in Grove.

A Christian home and again I'm not blaming Oliver.

There's no model for me. Look back, so I gotta figure this out. It was easier figure out go to seminary betraying, but who trains husbands how to love their wives as was on the bed today and sanctify them just hit your knees and ask God for power to do this. I'm saying one year after that a New Year's resolution. I said to her honey users listen this year. Every night after get the boys on the bed. There were little. At the time I'm really going to the office on the door. My knees and I miss can pray for them and their wives someday and off. I said you need to join me. That's my news resolution. Here's the thing I did 15 days 16 days thinking that she's right there beside because men limit Tyson, when you lead spiritually.

Your wife is loving it that I didn't tell you she's right. There were both on our knees and pray other forget one night like 18 days in a row and again it's like five minutes to then take all of those eggs were just going to do this in other forget she grabs my left arm. She's right beside Ronnie's aggressive apartment.

She talks like she was take. I just can't tell you something I got was she does this, just doing this every night with you. This is like a turn on. I look, I know what she is described as this is like romantic. This is like you know this really is like a turn on for me and I did. I consider I knew what she meant by turns I looked at her. I didn't say that there's I thought I thought if this is how this works on to become the apostle Paul say that's how it's your work right in my right ladies or something romantic that happens in a woman's heart where it will collaborate out with when her man leads her spiritually. You can't fake this this is an overflow. You can't fake parenting incident overflows on the town you hit your knees okay last couple thoughts down verse 33 is verse 33 talks to the wives and husbands, but I talked this whole time to the men.

Let me talk to the women a little because he says husbands love your wives and aces what wives respect your husband. Husbands, love wives respect and I think there's a difference because the core need of a man is affirmation respect and only thing think we always understand that, but as men we long to be affirmed and respect.

In fact, a man goes worries respected and I just can't cheer your man cheer your man the action step a foot there was cheer. Respect is a firm with words and actions. The action is cheer us here this years ago at Kensington. My wife is asked to come speak to the mothers of preschoolers all these months. She said to me how you want to go with me and just just add in a kosher when in doubt about what is sad and no one is to say, I get up on stage and she stopped and then we talk about what's respect look like I said this I go Haley's own if you understand this or not, when a boy is a little boy he always ate usually a somebody's life cheer and form is like his mom or his dad is like your good your good young man in their chair something as I get older they find out what the sorta good and they have a teacher or coach. A source and your good at this and knows I got into college I went to college on college football scholarship as a quarterback and so you know I 100,000 people in Saturday afternoon cheer for me as a quarterback action inflatable states. It was like 25,000 Jeffrey rights and so then I need a hand, and she says of all the men were like you.

So she's like you're right we get married and I get on saying all this and feel like all this is coming out, you know, and when they're sent Anson over there and this'll stool and I said so then we get married in his like he come home and you walk in the door and all you hear is when I said I like to say like that so were driving home. She's like you think I'd do you mind will obviously not literally but yeah she was doing. You on helping you.

You know I'm helping you be better.

In fact, she denies this.

In this day but she said on the Holy Spirit in your life. She says I never said that ago. I think you did you know it's like everybody else doesn't see all the laws you have ICM and I'm trying to and I said I know you.

It's what you're trying to do, but it doesn't like that because honestly, at that time in our marriage.

It felt like when I walked in the door.

I got to teach.

I did do this good enough. I didn't do that good enough I should do more. This often. I just shut down. You know, I do believe that there because they think I'm good. I would leave here because I all I do is get critique. Long story short she the next day got on her knees and said the God who I boo days and thank God.

God said yes and she heard that and again it's a long story but here's all I gotta tell you that was 30 some years ago. She beginning then and now for the last 30 some years is my biggest cheerleader. I am not kidding. I can't wait to get home tomorrow because when I walk in that door, she cheers me on this, and she doesn't speak truth.

There are truths that we have to speak to one another to sharpen one another to become like Christ. Generally, 80% is near the main your current. Thank you. I tell you that lights the man up women when you stop booing and start sharing.

Here's what happened. The man becomes the man your cheer and that he isn't yet to make a sense, she starts cheer me up like a parent I might not let that good. And then I want to become what she said I was ice or become a better man a better husband and better father and a better spiritual leader. I'm just telling you women. You have power in your hands that can transform your man, but here's a lasting want to say none of this is possible. Anything we said loving your wife cherish your wife respecting your cheer human none of this is possible without the power get the last thing there is. We cannot do married God's way without his supernatural power. Today I rhyme it. That's what preachers do. We can do married God's way. If we don't have a supernatural power. Today, this whole passage comes out of Ephesians 518 where he says keep being filled with the Holy Spirit.

You can do this I can do this we have to put him number one God, we would submit to him, and by what you can do for your spouses is only you. They do it as well as awesome that they don't you you take care of you. You get that your power from the Holy Spirit, God will literally meet you and bring help and hope that your marriage I want to end with this video of an I met wishing to be here with me and you to get to appreciate what she's like you'll see in this video. Oh my goodness, this woman is a dynamo. She's amazing and she always loves visuals when we teach so a few years back at our church. See we are doing a marriage message on the weekend and she said I want to bring our tandem bike on stage and do some with that she didn't tell me what you'll tell in this video you said I didn't know where this is going, but it's a powerful visual of how to put God first is you have a hope with just some nice marriage tips.

You need God first. For this to work. So watch this and it will close on the visual learner as finding that thing with the break last week we had the marble all this week and another visual because for me I feel like in our lives were all on this journey of life and we think we know what will bring us happiness. No matter how lonely are we think if certain things if I go to the right school at the same rights. The right person to be like our journey of life right for sandbars. This is literally been hanging up in Iraq for 50 years anything about it when I was five years old life-sized Illinois. We have this bike, you know, please don't sell because I'm in control in the front seat know where to go.

I know you know the things that will make me happy. Bring me joy beneath it. So I go to this. Currently going I'm realizing after while. After all your dreams, your dreams, it's exactly what we talked about and thinking needed joy and fulfillment that I thought it would. I'm getting a little frustrated on my journey that I think another route to go to another path that will bring the killing time. My sister came home she is living at a state she was seven years older, and she came home telling you I crystallize basically and she said this relationship Jesus Christ understood now why he came while he wants a relationship with doing the right thing. Being in a relationship, surrendering your life to him as she started in terms of keyway Elohim Timmy believing he no relationship selling there.

I got to play Jesus. Yeah ago so I don't think so frustrated because Jesus is on the back where I'm going. Jesus sees wanting to hear in control, taking me on this journey we in the word, the more the perfect being total and complete control to lead me on this journey and so I was so scared because I trust my trust him for everything is Wilson talking about surrender. Letting God take control of your life and not trying to pull back the handlebars and let me just encourage you all of us go through seasons in marriage where we have to recalibrate where we have to pull back and say okay we got some habits we've developed over the years. Some patterns that are not healthy. Some things that were doing that are not helping us achieve oneness in our marriage. That's what the weekend to remember marriage getaway is all about. I met with couples who have been to multiple getaways, some couples who make it an annual checkup for their marriage to attend a weekend to remember marriage get away and they get something new out of it. Every year we have about 30 of these events being hosted in cities all across the country this fall. And right now family life to a listers can register for an upcoming getaway and save 50% off the regular registration fee for making this available through next Monday, so if you want to take advantage of this special offer today is the day for you to go online to family life to a.com or call one 800 FL today.

You can register by phone. You can get more information on the website. Find out what a getaway is happening in the city near where you live and then register online. If you'd like. Again, you'll save 50% off the regular registration fee as long as you sign up today in the getaway is going to be a great weekend for both of you. So let me encourage you again, go to family life to a.com or call one 800 FL today and join us for an upcoming family life weekend to remember marriage getaway and with that we can wrap things up for today. Thanks for joining us. Hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together with your local church congregation this weekend and I hope you can join us on Monday to hear again from Dave and Ann Wilson how important it is for us to understand how big God is and the impact that can have on your marriage and your family comes up Monday hope you can join us on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson.

I am Bob Payne. Have a great weekend will see you Monday for another edition of family life helping you pursue the relationships that matter most