Faithful Routine

So where somewhat embarrassing moment.

You know, as a father or mother trying to raise sons that follow Christ you know and were radio hosts about marriage and family. We read a book on marriage. But the book on parenting was all about how you make disciples of the own children in your home right so you have this conversation one day so you asked one of our sons, the name the 12 disciples all yeah this is when we were in the midst of parenting and nobody he was 13 okay this is really embarrassed and I was hoping he was like five now this is a Sunday wasn't raising Christian school.

The other one somewhere and so if you did name the 12 disciples, how many could you name me because I don't know maybe feel I'm not okay will I start Joe's okay.

Moses still said I was so humiliated and thinking we are doing a terrible job really doing in our house.

Welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most and Wilson Dave Wilson and you can find us@familylifetoday.com or on our family life. This is family life today.

It was pretty embarrassing and I blame it on my wife is that son is now in ministry anti-vocational ministry as a pastor so it doesn't always require you work as you can. Then disciples when you're 30 now yeah but I mean this is a big topic in the home is like how do we help parents disciple their children to make disciples. So we've got a great guest with us.

He's been on before but were glad to have you back as you're the expert. At this given Von glad to have you back in family today. Thanks. It is an absolute joy to be here just died and we were inspired when you're here the last time you talking about disciple making you talking about your passion and heart for this and I know that a lot of our listeners were inspired and we were like this is so good and so many families feel lost in knowing what is this look like I don't know how to do it. Yeah, I do remember that interview because we were really here. You have and you want to talk about discipleship as much as downline which I want to hear you talk a little bit but man oh man, we both like while I was so inspired and so is talk about this life and her children. But before we do that you are the president of downline Institute, family ministries, ministries, and the goal downloads to equipment and women to make disciples and you just to set it well. I was inspired to of our time together and just by you guys example it and just like you said a lot of folks are saying I don't really get that.

What is it look like what is it I mean Associates Jesus told us to make disciples, but it's just such a nebulous, vague, term in the church today and so don't exist to help you understand what did Jesus mean when he said go make disciples of all nations. How you do it in my goodness you with our own children, my wife, five sons in order to talk about family discipleship or shortly. This is one of our greatest God-given stewardship's discipling these boys raising them in the training and instruction of the Lord. But in terms of the level of intimidation that comes with disciple your own children yeah you we ever invited to parent. His felt that and thought where do I start.

What do I do. And so, beside the diving about the downline Institute is a nine-month program where we literally take folks originally. People don't make disciples because I have no idea what it means, and they don't feel like they know their Bibles, even longtime churchgoers generally feel intimidated when it comes to navigating God's word, and so over nine-month. Now we meet twice a week about why this is now available not just our live locations which are found on our website, ministries.com, we have a lifestream classless last year the pandemic year, we piloted it and it's been a great success. We now have folks all over the country all over the world that can live stream and we walk Genesis through Revelation in nine months we will literally start you in Genesis 1 and finish in rev. 22 and give you handles on the big picture of God's word which I've just been so fascinated and enamored watching people fall in love with Jesus through the Scriptures and I just never had that opportunity even in good Bible teaching church is to see how it all fits together and then we do practical discipleship training we define it we talk about in the struggle of our own life in context of her own life we live, work and play.

But we hope in nine months of seen it 15 years running now.

God is used this Institute to literally train men and women to make disciples in your home in your church in your community. And so I will invite every listener that's out there. Just feeling intimidated by that not knowing how to do it.

Please come check us out downline ministries.com. We do have a family life promotional code. I just promise you this. If you do it don't care how old you are, it will absolutely change the way you live the rest your life. When I go to class, look at you as we have anyone. It talks to you know you have this passion for discipleship you started downline and so where did that come from where that passion in that seal, you tell me just solely the mercy of God, who took me when I was in my early 20s, serving in youth ministry, but really not knowing my Bible very well.

Feeling convicted that I needed to know it better to do it. I was called to do. I love the Lord. All of these kids but I really didn't know how to be a leader how to be a disciple or and I've never had a spiritual father my life and by God's grace, her man speak name Sue Campbell and Saul in him. Jesus, like I never seen the way he expositor John 15. One night it was like the Lord speaking me. I wanted to know the Lord and I wanted to know his word like this man is pursuing and he gave me his number two McCallum stores California called the next day to calm a week; we can totally calm in a month. Sure really good and true story. At that point assumed he was just Blowing me off, but a month later, despite the Lord's leading. I called him one more time.

I fell over myself, apologizing for continuing to bother him, but said I just metal know my Bible. I don't know the Lord like you don't want so bad. What you have that intimacy with Christ that you just reek of it. He said will come in my house tomorrow morning at 5 AM I showed up there for 45 in the morning and he was standing in the front yard and I thought this is just an awkward situation that I walk up to him and I know pleasantries, he had me sit out on the front porch and said I can and you and I come from two very different worlds, and I can look around and know that was true. He said I don't really care how smart you are or how talented you are, but if you can be faithful. I can show you how to be a man of God, and I had never had a godly man in my life. My father was a dear man, we were best friends. He passed mouse 16 of brain cancer, but never had a godly man ever, grab a hold of me and say, follow me, I'll show you how to follow Jesus and that relationship completely changed my walk with Christ. My life my love for Christ intimacy with Christ, knowledge of his word and love for his word. It was discipleship and cloudburst in me a passion to help other people be disciple to make disciples in that journey is when I began to realize how confusing that term is how people don't know how the Scriptures are so intimidating and just in God's divine providence to connect me with one great man after another. Howard Hendricks became a great mentor of mine in seminary help me, think through. Now what the experience and give Scott a given made it, and how to steward those to help really. I'll be honest with you our dream it downline is to see a restoration of biblical discipleship into local church is nothing less that we want we want what soup did was made to become the norm. Again, I think that was Jesus's plan. It was his lifestyle was his command, and so we want to help people follow Jesus.

What soup did with you, obviously, is what we as parents want to do with our own kids and write you as a dad you got five sons. In some ways, I found it easier to disciple my carbonation as a pastor into my own sons but you got to do both, but talk about how you do that and home yeah and just what a great vital and in overwhelming question how your political boys 13, 1110 eight and three anything.

How long that we just celebrated our 15th year anniversary and crab and so yes, God blessed us with five boys. The last ones name is Mack. As we set of God gives us 1/5 sign one of our favorite families and then Jewish Lord is the Maccabees and I God used a family of five to help restore the heart of his people to him and so we would joke about if God gives us 5000 on the May Mac Baxley McAbee so Maxis's nickname is names Joseph McAbee so you guys been gracious to us in your question David, so it's something that Catherine have to think through not just because I'm in vocational ministry with the disciples have been set up job in pastoral people, but because this is the primary stewardship God's given us coming. Discipleship starts in the home and it's so easy to be a pastor in Christian ministry is spend your time discipling everyone else and not your children because frankly it's sometimes it's hard or else really heart is your is something you can't just put your best foot forward is not just an hour a week thinking know you know those kids know me doesn't always know exactly who I am in Valley.

That's where I would say it starts. Note the beautiful thing about God's design for disciple in the home is the authenticity that's built-in and you guys Artie alluded to something I loaded in your intro story about your son that didn't know the disciples is much as I hope I 13 or I was thinking my head I got €13 is much as I hope you build a name three or four. What I hope even more is probably what your son had and that he has the gift of seeing his father wholeheartedly love and follow Jesus because that is the most important thing that we can give them is what it looks like to pursue Christ in our own daily walk and of course that has practical out workings in a marriage that they seek pretty much everything right in front of their eyes unfold in sin like I am far from perfect. I'm gonna lose it on know be selfish and make bad decisions. There are so many opportunities for them to see me struggle with my flesh. Difficult situations was circumstances with persecution, with tragedy and I want to make sure that just like Sue Biddle, me, Dave. I'm saying I guess following Jesus is the good Shepherd, and under shepherd and all of you guys but the greatest thing I can do is point you towards him and I'm good imperfectly, but it's going to be my greatest endeavor to do so. So how I view dealt with the imperfect part like you got the boys you're there watching your your wife watching you.

I'm looking over my wife. She's watched all my sin and imperfections and so my son so what have you done because I know you have lived perfectly.

How do you have that on how you do apologize. He said yes. Sorry you all the time when my oldest son was about five and I will start to you know lose my temper speak to him in a unloving selfish way. Maybe I was embarrassed by his action, a real dilemma about me than him, and what I saw.

Some of those I thought I got a lot to cover it up and a lot of justified and a lot of defendant in a letter rationalizing my mind or I gotta be honest with them until mom blew it there so many times I will fail my sons of the data know that there's a few ways. I'll make sure I don't fail him and one is going to be a regular repent or before them, and so this is what you're modeling the absolutely yeah they let their pastors kids do, they can live in a fishbowl up after large church in Memphis and sometimes I feel for the moment, you know, by expects them to be godly beyond their age and that's that's tough for them can be and so want them to be unafraid of being a Christ follower, not Christ but a Christ follower and not in part, that means a life of confession of sin, repentance from sin and trusting Christ to grow us through even when God convicts me and things that don't have to do specifically with how am I to sin against them or lead poorly in the family, just in general. That is the fodder for our family Devos. That's the time we were praying in the evenings are sick as anything I'm struggling with not been really offended by brother and I'm struggling with forgiveness in you when you talk to kids and that they're so sweet. They're pretty innocent and they're going yeah that is hard and him I hate you know it is even hard for me you like to grow out of that. But let's look what the Scripture say about it. We all pray for me.

I need to forgive a brother I need you to pray for this agreement to phonetics and you should invite them in to follow worship of Jesus. This is a radical countercultural lifestyle that's not what you see that's not what's celebrated but it's what we value with our whole heart mind soul and strength. And we gotta be your little church community startled us and extends to our harvest community and then took Christians all over the world, but we gotta hunker down together and link arms and follow Jesus. So letting them in on the reality of the struggle with your flesh, and with being obedient to Christ. Has there been a time that you can recall that you've gone back and apologize to your kids something you've done all you regularly appreciate you asking a question that forces me to be in and deal with my own shame, but yes, most recently, there I got a tip with their mother together have that are graduated from the perfect now to get to know but I did and I spoke harshly with her not berating her cussing her out or anything like that but original tones with llama tone and not in a new as it was happening. I knew as I was happening. Then I know this is wrong and and I literally had three sets as she stared at me little guys and so is one of those you know it's like watching my own dumpster fire and not being able to control it so you know it was always convicted in the moment. Sometimes God does it afterwards. But no, that's one more set them down and said hey guys I just talked about what happened on there. Your mother is the jewel in my crown. She's the greatest treasure God has given me and she is the most delightful and faithful wife and woman and I could go on and on.

You guys know how much I love her but I lost my temper and I spoke with her in a way that was completely inappropriate and that dishonored her this honor the Lord in a designer you gas and asked them how could I feel that I will absolutely they say. Well first you know she was right. Not only do you know they said you could've prayed about a first know which of these are things I've confessed to them in the past of their learning course to learn what they seem when what you say but you could pray about that first you could've stalked mommy gently. You could've admitted were you were wrong can relate again to see the patterns from my confession to them of how to conflict well in our relationships and how to do so selfishly and poorly so that was a time I apologize to him and of an apology is not just an acknowledgment it's asking for forgiveness so that I need you guys to forgive me on that and it even if you need time with that take time managed forgive me and there's great accountability, and that when you got ask your sons forgiveness. It's going to help me the next time when I lose my temper which will happen with them with my wife to handle that in a way that honors the Lord honors them.

That's really good and you you mentioned already about praying together area Devos you hear about that. Yeah I want out of it because you know what things we tried to focus our parenting book on was Deuteronomy 6 which is very and shield in terms of the Shema, the command to the Israel nation and the family about the commands that are on your heart trust was apparent they have to start our heart rate.

It has them on, you know, when you walk along the way. I'm just paraphrasing the whole thing. You know when you sit down when you rise up. So it sounds like there is a lifestyle of discipleship that you've Artie commented on with that, like in the Vaughn home will that's the exact right term lifestyle and and by the way, catechism Bible memory Bible study Bible reading is all so foundational to my own life with Christ, therefore, that part of sharing it. But just this lifestyle following Jesus together. Sometimes we want to compartmentalize discipling our kids to a study, to minimize the importance of studying God's word having central but I would love to encourage folks to think, to the grid of Deuteronomy 6 which says hate when you live down and when you wake like this are the pillars of your home or to God's word and you talk about them all along the way and so Catherine thought through.

Again, we probably put the Army six in the practice that was that everything done in Jewish tradition and I love Psalm 78, not passing on a godly legacy that you tell your children the character of God. The experiences that you had of God's goodness you pass on a legacy that they will even tell their children about lest you forget Leslie forget in Ephesians 6. Of course, reiterates Deuteronomy 6 to raise them in the training and instruction of the Lord was it one more thing biblically through this and I give you some practical's I love Leviticus 6 it talks about the priests they were to prepare the altar that the sacrifice would burn day and night, and that the fire would never go out and dad's single moms were priest in our home, and the key is that spiritual fire you would constantly be arranging the wood arranging the sacrifice preparing the altar that the fire never goes out some mornings and evenings. I think are so big specifically mentioned in Deuteronomy.

I love building traditions in our home daily traditions you know annual tradition. Seasonal traditions think that's a great way to cut a bill the gospel legacy and home of worship.

One of those daily or to others daily how we start in each day. And, boy, there's a lot of failure in between. A lot of missed moments leave a lot of acknowledgment event and some other sweet things always happen, but we want to, put some pegs in the ground in the morning and evening and so we started a little family devotional. I don't freak people out on that we've invited some people in our home to be part of family Devos and the really messy, especially we've always had young tourist telephone that our youngest is three a course that's a messy age but that that's our young as he always had a baby and a toddler to cut and is just crazy. So you doing my morning devotional morning devotional how to ban youth. That's right yeah in in in in listen that. Don't be overwhelmed by that. It's SOL, your pastor, of course, no again, messy, two and four euros don't care about systematic theology so you try to have a moment of gospel focused worship and so the weight catheter structure we try to have our own time with the Lord your earlier than our family devotional, which oftentimes allows her to be several relevant sums in the gospel. My heart are hard to work out. We also have a Bible reading plan or following any of the stage were in strangers will year-to-year the stage were in 740. Every morning I were at the table for family Devos and that gives us about a 20 minute window and eating yet well they finish up the reading plan and they clean their dishes and then we are around the table for a real little bit of God's word and we talk and if got put in something on my heart at Catherine's are the we want to discuss. We can totally go that direction, but were read through which to study on the names of God also starting to take one talk about it and how we see it can walk us through a little bit. It's about your cell read God's word, which usually takes three or four minutes account is not too long.

No man again for us will long would work so it's good to be relevant and so read three or four minutes and then I'll ask a couple questions which is did you understand that what questions did you have what did you hear that made a lot of sense. What did you hear that made no sense. And then, depending on what the study is there's usually some leader guide questions that will talk about God's faithfulness and Joseph's life and what we do when we have when things don't go the way we want them to go in and I'll ask him.

I look if you have that happen.

Caleb what you think and you let them ponder they don't always have the answers. The right answers, but I want to engage them in a discussion and this is a low hanging fruit discussion were looking for big gospel rocks and here's what it does. I don't ever feel like I've got a nail the discussion and bring out something profound and everyone get saved I feel like we're starting our day talking about the truth from God's word and what happens is now were noodling it all day. That's an interim success. It's in there and what it's so fun you know you're picking up carpool or take new sports practice and they refer back to Devo. Find out how on time. God's word is that you really read this morning I saw that today I saw an opportunity to help with a Guyanese like the good Samaritan said, and I was just thinking about it because we said it was good though silent, develop boom guides bring it to roost in his life. And so it's a pay we put there every morning, even when we don't just see this title waiver fruit that morning. We may have disinterested tired kids that are given us very little. But do we try to keep that engaging conversational centering God's word and then in the evenings. On the other side of this is my favorite moment of the day when everything finally winds down. The last thing I do have done.

This is my oldest kid was about three years old so we have about a 10 year tradition working is we get on our knees and we pray together family.

Well, me and all the boys. Catherine does a thing where she walks and praise the armor of God over him and she's got her own chemical tradition, but I get on my knees done this a small dose was about three and he was just common on my back still got 30, back, but it's fun to watch them go from being a distraction to being a worshiper to participating in prayer and it's really fun. My oldest goes first and we go right down the line and then and then I finish them so you are pray pray out loud and it I just cannot tell you how powerful this is. I really can't put into words and I don't have you know a routine for. I just pray pray about what that's the guy doing in my life and that day and thank him for his faithfulness and taken in my struggles are a family decision were wrestling with nothing. It's so fun to see for them they could to hear me my heart.

They know what catheter are wrestling with through those prayers and it is the sweetest thing in the world. When you watch a three-year-old girl 13 oh list in the him pray it goes from just the thank youse from her brothers and food in the beautiful plea bargain gratitude to he struggling with things he's resting with things and he's asking God. Nobody's doing vulnerably in front of his brothers because that's always known from the time you begin a price and when they're all pray now we all know where each other's heart is with the Lord how to pray for each other how support each other how to love each other just hear the dependence on God deepen in all of our lives together. And that's the evening bag and you got these bags God's word in the morning. Intimacy with God for an evening and I just tell you this because I don't want to make it too hard. You don't need a seminary degree to have 20 minute time of talking about God's word in the morning and 1520 minutes in the evening to be on your knees before the Lord together. If you do that I can make you the promise that it will effect. So many of the conversations in between your morning pay in reading.

And if you do it every day becomes a lifestyle where the gospel is at the center. Christ is at the center and there's gonna be so many opportunities in the as you go time to talk about things through a biblical grid community to not contain hundreds actually just beautiful. It is you are saying that I literally pictured in my mind families moms and dads listen right now single mom, single dance lesson in San. That's a vision I can accomplish as it is in a seminary degree.

It is in a mastered event. It's really a fire and mom and dad's heart just overflows to say let's put a peg in the morning and peg in the evening. I'm hoping the families are going to change on daily routine. Just as a result of listening today.

I think any of us who have tried to engage with our kids on spiritual issues on a regular basis have experienced what most parents of experience kids who tune out. Don't act like you're paying attention. Don't act like they care were like there even listening and yet we are planting seeds.

I can't tell you how many kids I talked to, once a grown hooves said this was a priority in my family and just that statement of it being a priority is what mattered. They may not remember a specific devotion or a specific thing you shared what they remembered that it mattered to mom and dad that the family get together and acknowledge God on a daily basis. We have resources here at family life that can help you disciple your kids I'm thinking of the video series we created on the art of parenting which covers a lot of topics including family discipleship and then let me draw your attention again to what Kevin Vaughn was talking about earlier, the down one program that is a great resource to help moms and dads single people, whoever you are in your walk with Christ. This will help you understand the Bible better and go deeper down my ministries has a virtual Institute that's available. Kind of like enrolling in a one year Bible training or Bible college program. It'll help you get a big picture on all that the Bible teaches. You can find out more about the downline ministries Institute when you go to our website family like today.com there's a link there and keep in mind if you choose to enroll family life is a keyword that can provide you with savings on the enrollment to get all the information is available on our website@familylifetoa.com. Find out more about downline ministries in the downline Institute. You know this topic of family discipleship is just one of the many vital topics that we are addressing every day here on family life to our goal as a ministry is to effectively develop godly marriages and families who change the world one home at the time, we want to will equip you to win in your home in your family with your kids and there's a group of listeners. I just want to say thank you to those of you who are regular monthly giver's legacy partners is what we call you.

This team of monthly supporters is the group that has made today's conversation possible. And here in the last weeks of August. Our team is praying that in every city where family life to a is heard where your listening right now were asking that God would raise up to new families to join us as legacy partners so that this program can continue to be available not only in this city but in cities all around the world to make that happen when you become a family life to legacy partner if you can join with us today. We'd like to say thank you by sending you a copy of David and Wilson's new book, no perfect parents will also send you an all access pass to more than a dozen messages from Dave and I am about marriage and family related themes.

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Kevin Vaughn's gonna be here again were to look at some of the very specific things he's doing as a dad for family discipleship in his home. Hope you can tune in for that on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson on Bob Lapine.

We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of family life today. Family life to a is a production of family life accrue helping you pursue the relationships that matter most