The Passing of Wynter

If I can pick up a book to read. You'll never guess this it would be, what kind of book, the Bible tell you about another book I don't I would pick up a romance, love story. Why not. I don't need Lily's romance around their I know I like to go to thriller movies okay when I read I want to read something tender and beautiful you're getting soft in your own thing and I'll cry cry cry when I read again, but not when I tell the story. Welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most and will send it on Dave Wilson and you can find us@familylifetoday.com or on our family life. This is family life today. We talked earlier about this amazing love story with Jonathan Pitts and his wife went to her and working to continue that the journey it's a beautiful beautiful love story is Jonathan welcome to family life to a guard, welcome back. We've loved hearing the beginning of the story. Jonathan then then Nashville for a few years. In fact, it's sort of interesting. Our sons were interviewed with you Cody a few years back at the church of the city in Nashville. You've done all kinds of things there you were in Dallas before that any written how my books. This is my third, I co-authored two books with winter one on parenting will emerge and then this is my first, so the book of Artie talked about. And so we don't need to go all the way back through. But the amazing story you winter fallen in love and then the sudden death of her. After 15 years of marriage and gift for daughters.

He walked us through that a little bit previously, but take us back to like how you mentioned her sudden death but some of us are like how you she died in your arm lightly held Helen before this winter was reasonably healthy. She had but what's called mitral valve prolapse partner which I think of her, like 10% of US regulation has it's not like really uncommon but heartwarming that she knew about the Google cardiologist every year to check up on this murmur, they would say all your heart. Looks like it's does look like it's growing at the same size. If you're finding eventually you probably need replacement or repair. But right now your fun going cardiologist less than a year before and they said the same thing, and she also had a blood clotting disorder constructor five, which was especially should thicker blood than most people that would've been packed or what should babies just above the church. A blood clot pastor. I was just going with Alina which, by God's grace we found out about this woman normally find out about those after the miscarriage. She did not. She found that while she was pregnant and so anyway she was healthy and we were in the middle of a big move to Nashville from Dallas and the data she passed away. I was at work she texted me that day, probably a because I was finishing my last week of work and saw just busy, runaround get things done. She text me just that I feel that she sent me like the second Muji as I just replied and said what going on. She never responded.

So you turn in the final of the transcript of emptied our marriage book and I headed home and stopped the cost on the way home I got some ribs and Caesar salad, which I'll never get those things from Cosco again can imagine why got back to the house were Stan and oddly enough I thought she wouldn't feel well maybe laying down and she was sitting in the living room of that house with my sister-in-law. Her brother's wife and then my three youngest girls and that her two girls were there and they were all doing each other's hair like that. Just different girl to each other's hair there playing some game I still to this day.

Don't know it is, but they'd say like you can be an elephant but you can't be of this again yeah but the point I gain much from her winter was laughing. They were all laughing. Have a good time so I just looked at Windsor and that moment of Michael great opportunity for me to let him take a quick nap because their plan took around the 5 o'clock that morning was just tired so I laid down and took a 15 minute power nap and then I got up in my social I was leaving as I was getting up and then winter with only members we talked much, but we can walk by choice number laid out for little bit and we can have your 15 years of history K and earlier.

She also told me she the final book. She was working on, per book for girls came out, I am yours purse forgot girls which is a beautiful book of prayers on identity personal shire would actually write about the book and say that was winter's last will and testament which makes me so emotional to think about and so anyway she went lay down and I just, prepared prepared strong word for kitten rigs and sell from Cosco but got plates ready. I would knock the door today babe you want to eat dinner and she's like nothing is finally here for a while. It's okay so it back in just a with the girls. My oldest daughter was not there. She's a waterpark in God and I went to bed the bedroom after I finish eating. I think the girls were still sitting down finishing up just floss my teeth and so I went through the master into the bathroom false motives and as I kinda looked out winter and set up. She's just sitting up facing away from me and then she's Catholic, slumped over in a way, almost like that you feel when you want to lay now you don't like it on the bed and slick fall back over whether something was going on natural about a nice river say like where you plan like that and then bottom line is she just can't have like a cardiac reaction it to me look like a seizure and so I just started doing all the things my Eagle Scout and Sgt. knew what to do and check in her Paulson sweeper through just to figure out what was going on and eventually would end up doing CPR on this tiny framed 5 foot nothing hundred and nothing pounds woman who was my wife. So just for the hardest things ever had to do and yelled for my girls were my phone and obviously that was really traumatic for girls and they thought was plan for a while and eventually my phone call paramedics were out the middle of nowhere. So it really took probably at least 15 minutes. It felt like 1/2 hour from the get there is one time I got there mom thinking is Eagle Scout spring-training like you can only go so long without oxygen unit, your brain, and some pray for miracle months on my mind and the other side.

I'm just preparing for what I do like if I lose my wife and the whole time telling butcher like don't leave me don't leave stay with me stay with me and commit a couple calls and eventually this was personal. Shire's old house were staying in, which is, this ministry property and friends of ours across the street came over that we knew well the new winter really well and help it with the girls in. We followed the ambulance to the emergency room and am still praying text my mom Texaco people us in the praying he scared at that point you might lose her fear is the right word. I was aware that I might lose her in whatever state I was in. It was heightened but it wasn't. I wouldn't call it fear I wouldn't call it peace.

It maybe shot coaches. It was a heightened awareness that I'm either to lose her got to perform a crazy miracle in either way this could be some massive story. I know what can happen so I just was being really practical, which made me feel lacking in faith and then trying to present my faith and feeling shame for dealt is like both things happening at the same time and I wish I was a different kind of leader public. This type of leader that Murphy's Law whatever can go wrong will go wrong so I typically assume the worst and scenarios until repairing your cell yeah yeah and, where I was about praying for miracle the same time and so we get to the hospital and would walk into the emergency rod walking to the emergency room where she was. And what's really beautiful. Another thing single's faithfulness. The shutter grief.

One of the families I texted really beautiful family. Greg and Val Gorman. Val is a general surgeon at the hospital they took us to really beautiful friends of ours good friends of ours, that point still good friends of mine who winter directly planning on staying at a hotel that extra rooms, a medical conference that that weekend coming and that there was a Tuesday that we can worth of medical conference with them in the hotel and Allison anywhere texted Greg and Val just which is not breathing in.

Greg actually said either that I can remember Val was either there or on her way and so I wouldn't see her when I got there, but Greg would literally come.

He told me this.

I remember this but he would come in just kind of look and brace me just tell me the guts got me and then Val would find this out later through post that Alina posted on Instagram that Val would it's really beautiful post to the book, but Val would walk up to her and grab her by her face and say you serve a big God, a big big goggle should ever forget it. So here is the general surgeon of the hospital walking up to my daughter, who she knows intimately, reminding her of the faithfulness of God. How an octagon's faithfulness and that you know in a few minutes later I wanted to know if it was a doctor of some kind of attendance till this day, I walked outside I probably Dr. we had a pulse on the pulse and the longer you may want to succumb. Say goodbye to your wife and so is that point that I went into the room and never forget like all the machines to working the sounds but it might as well a bit empty for me is one in just you. Yeah I know them beside her and I just said I want you to know, take care of the girls and the were about our girls will take her just began to sing that song is sexy funny I thought now know him. Are you, Lord of David Leonard, who wrote that song is now a friend of mine lives in Franklin has a studio left them off my house and actually about that in the book as well just just sing that to winter in the hospital. I think what I was doing that mom was reminding her of where she was going us, reminding myself the truth of always believe it.

My birth is God's wrath is God's.

He gives it he takes it. We can trust a minute, then cellulosic that that was it. It's hard for me as it was really traumatic was beautiful is that for winter was probably the most peaceful entrance into the can of God that you can really experience you bully past winter sleep wasn't painful anyway that that's give me a lot of peace. It's amazing that is. We mentioned, you know. Talk to Jonathan Pitts about this book. My winter season. Seeing God's faithfulness in the shadow grief and it's just all we've heard so far's because faithfulness can faithfulness God's faithfulness in the middle of this darkness, and so many times when we go through darkness. We don't see that it isn't that he is in faithful, it's that we don't have eyes to see and he Over and over to reveal himself to you in the middle is thing a member reading the story of the devotional you picked up that morning and then hit you later about having an exit strategy here is another one. Great.

I woke up that morning I went to the bathroom for ticket around just to look myself up and what we oftentimes do is pull our phones out to collect ourselves up and there was a subject on the said do you have an exit strategy I thought was about leadership transition some nonprofit leadership until pastors and undid my mind it was like an article about that and so I just collected my phone. And what about my day, but that evening, after a minute I never forget going into the lobby of the of the hospital and not knowing what to do with myself where you girls not hospital. You have my girls were there bunch of family Tony Evans. My boss was there within a few minutes my other guy getting Scott Wilson hug. Consider, family customer, she was there other friends got cannot forget how loved we were in that moment and was really grateful for that.

But I just didn't want to do with myself. Some in the waiting room ethic were waiting for the funeral home that would select the show up in all the thing that he and maybe the county person responsible for marking death. I was waiting for all that stuff that happened so I just sat down with my phone and I had other people to add my girls that point. Other aunts are so many women. My girls lost that point which cousin Priscilla, her cousin Crystal heard our cousin along the Connecticut Jonathan Evans wife and then my sister laundry like all these women surrounding my girls and hooks around micro since the nutrition moments where I didn't know what to do, but it will just relieve me of my responsibility even if just for a moment, you know, and so I set out of school to my phone and I pull up that but I think this article I open up and it's literally ready for. He was a pastor.

It's actually a Bible Gateway devotional that is already telling the story of going waterskiing for the first time in its says he's younger and he he's finally figures out how to get up on the skis on this like and realizes what he or she starts getting tired like automatic it down so he's like they're circling the lake over and over again, his legs getting tired and his friends are yelling the back about just let go of the rope just let go of the rope and he's afraid he thinks in a crash and yeah making a million pieces and finally he works the courage let go of the rope and he just basically free with the waterskiing they know this you just slowly glide on the water skis first on your feet and your legs and knees, slowly gliding under and use as illustration for the believer in Jesus of what it's like to die and what is like to enter eternity and I'm telling you like. There are not many people writing about death these days. Even pastors and devotionals. It's all kind of like fog and light stuff and that day in my inbox got dropped devotional on what it looks like for somebody to enter eternity, who loves Jesus and the actual write about. I got to thank Randy and God in action and it was white for Roseanne better than I knew him like to thank him in the stores. The book as well and just a reminder to me that God's timing is perfectly. She knew that I would need that message and actually end up reading that devotional to all of our family. Emma Brother mouse house on around one of the morning.

That night, just saying hey like this is what God's given me I think was somebody here and get just another beautiful way to see that God was being faithful to me. Even the hardest times talk about you girls to how he saw God's faithfulness caring for them and watching over them. It is funny because I was this type a pastor is like I'm going to Nashville and the pastor were to be okay 90 kind of a planning control guy was there, so if an idiot but you get to Nashville. In my church surrounded us really beautifully.

I mean even the fact that we were adults take this work with.

I also got a call from an elbow Sturm Whitehead and then Justin hey if you guys decide to stay in Dallas like will pack your house up will sell your house will figure out have another conversation with Alina were Lena said she felt a Christmas to go mumbling to go more than anybody.

She is 14-year-old girl, quiet girl who just counted out ethically to go than Darren calls me and just just told me if will stay in Dallas. Please help us with transition worry about it.

But if you come to find the family ready to adoption in the church of the city has adopted me.

Did you think. Let's not go minute I thought I got a good leader. It was best for my girls I can keep my job with Tony Evans like I'm not we have the things I had to do all of our families there like why would I leave this and ultimately now I can look back at it. No like I don't even think I'd know who I am in my own identity.

Had we not left I become like Evans in a way that I still in their beautiful family. There are best friends Dr. was my spiritual dad I see them all the time but I think I want to be defined myself again that allow my family can have her identity. I think if we were in Dallas.

It would've been hard to do that option would happen but wouldn't hard to do that and later in the story this church were these people just want to love on us and didn't make any assumptions about how we got started taking care of cousin. I think Adelphi would like either Evans is defined now in Nashville. Everybody and their mother was doing everything for us and I couldn't take credit for it, nor can I ever pay it back. By the way, we find ourselves there was a lot of support and unthinkable to make this marking to the school hadn't started yet with her daughter. July 24 we buried her on the 29th I think.

And then school started looking 14 through these couple weeks were almond natural for myself but I'm not working out in their own school one night. I'm cooking a chicken that I just burn this chicken I'm bursting, I'm not.

I'm not a bad cook but I bring this chicken ice is frustrated. I'm never going upstairs and I called my sister Carmen the recycling permit is because the day of winter's funeral, to come to me at the end. At the dinner after the funeral and just said hey the Lord told me like if you need me I'm supposed to come in Nashville.

So do you want me to come and also gobble good. Carmen don't worry about it like I'm okay were to make it refine that chicken. So I called Carmen in tears and was just like a is that our first on the table was like I don't know August 12 like that and Labor Day weekend. Carmen came to Nashville with three suitcases had sold her car broker lease where she was living and moved in with me. She was single or married, praying for family. He described her as Mary Poppins since she is often seen as amazing Mary Poppins but she came in and the woman that my girls used to call NCC. They now just affectionately call Cece and see the kingdom part of our family and a surrogate mom. The girls and has been. I mean this girl okay seeing up faithfulness and shutter grief. Carmen is a Masters degree in counseling and all she's ever done his work in the mental health space to she got interchangeable. That's what she's done and so and I needed the mental health space. The fourth micro state so she's just walking me and walk with my girls and been a beautiful part of our family and a godsend and a new definition of what it looks like to be in singles ministry and selfless and caring is she still there to see because now she's with my girls of that one girl here the studio with me and as he's acting like today I have been waiving the cancer surviving so it's been a really beautiful season of recovery for us and mission for her for my sister in my prayers. My sister gets married and she makes a beeline for me to whoever God gives you know, but ultimately she's been with us and she's been a faithful friend and faithful sister and faithful sister in Christ to me and my girl have managed this this is beautiful to high cry and cry, but I was about the future because your sisters I could be living with you in the near future. That's what's on the horizon of my 40th birthday was in March 2020 that had this pebble beach trip plan to go play golf in Pebble Beach, another trip to Florida to play golf on Mike, I'm celebrating about the alarm celebrating and covert cancel my birthday. Interestingly enough, it was beautiful that night. My girls made me a red velvet cake in the key lime pie, but the pictures of you with a picture let's look so depressed. I will be Chinook, but I had of the friend of mine to God recently met about a year.

The liver year before then reach out to me and just say hey you are you dating again on Mike now not really him, dating golf. I am loving my seat and thrust my life and I think this is good but yesterday that I said you know if God has something for the gray but I'm not. I'm not all search existing karma girls and he said blood got a friend she's 40 she's single. She loves Jesus as your be a picture of her and I'm like, what with that four-year-old single beautiful Jesus lover with a widowed data for pastor in Nashville and he just said what you think is a liability as an asset, rebuked me and long story short 41 days after my 40th birthday. I did assume call with this girl. My stories big, her stories big, both big Jesus stories and we just connected over our stories and basically God stop the world so I can meet earnings. PETA MEP does not. I hear me to make light of of you always know that but I had a way if she was without work based on converted and God allowed us to spend crazy amounts of time together through a bunch of other stories, including one for best friends would randomly move to Nashville, inviting her to come watch the girls for a couple weeks which ended up being like this seven week period where she lived .9 miles from excess or closer friends would move from LA were to my house .9/. Anyway, it's been about a year now of just really a beautiful change in my life and yet find them got guy when I met winter like I just knew my gut. She was my girl, you know, and the same thing. Roman applicants know my gut.

This is the woman that God has for me to me.

Did you ever wonder can I love again I did you know what's funny is I knew I would get married again. But the real pigheaded arrogant guy that I am was thinking oh I guess whoever will have next will be will support me the support be my ministry to support me with my girls and I was thinking more like a helper be the scene you thought you what's crazy is our first real in-person date which was in St. Louis this bow during the beginning a covert I was art my pebble trip trip was canceled but my thoughts were still going out there and she lived in LA en suite. We literally met up in the middle three hours and 15 minutes exactly for my sister they were from where she lived in LA meant St. Louis this bow and ended up having an opportunity to pray for my friends who I was staying with whose daughter was struggling with their emotional health within a real serious way and she and I partnered in prayer on our first date and I thought to myself the first time.

What if God could give me a life partner again. But you guys like my ministry was with my wife wrote together we did minister. Together we spoke together and it was really beautiful and in my mind that couldn't happen again. And here we are, find ourselves praying for this family. In a really deep dark place for them and I go, what if God could do that and now the Scripture.

Literally it comes to mind for me and has come to light in multiple places, though I see note it here is her new minds can see what God has planned for those who love him. Look the journey I'm about to start out as a different journey than the one I've been on its altogether different altogether require as much faith is that one a different kind of way, and I'm really excited for what God has and will get married this fall and just really excited about that imagination.

Girls feel that it's a hard journey to walk because again, every part of newness for you, me, just a reminder of what you've lost. And so that's it. There's a grief process and that a pretty heavy working a deficit in a difficult journey and really beautiful one because honestly like anything worth having is going to be difficult for now and so it's it's actually beautiful.

Now it's a house she is talking her as I was driving here from Nashville and she was on a call with my old girl just having like a beautiful talk and they've all built different relationships and it's a whole you know I've done family. One way and now I'm entering into assumptions that children with somewhat of a blended family and I went to trust God with that and learn a whole new different role that I've never known before. And so she and summer girls. And so it's a holy journey seen God's sake of faithfulness, where all inspired like hearing how God he's been there in the midst of your pain and suffering think it's obvious he stared at Hunter listener that feels like I haven't seen how do I see God's faithfulness in the midst of my pain I'm in, out, start by saying you have to be looking for which is work. Maybe Gotto show you miraculously and you will have to work at all, but I I have to work now my life God gave me a really some really beautiful thing to see really clearly but most the time it's worked to see his faithfulness and that's why it's called faith. You know, and so I would say others a book I read by Leighton Ford called the attentive life especially on that the discipline of paying attention to what God is doing some really beautiful book that I read that actually to be getting a covert and it it really was explaining what I was experiencing just paying attention.

That's really what Paul saying I can't help go back to Philippians 4 like one of the hardest times in the history of the church. Probably the hardest time were persecution is running rapid any identification with Jesus Christ could mean death or imprisonment or torture, and Paul saying whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is honorable, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely will resemble excellent or praiseworthy think about these things, whatever you seem from me put in the practice Gotto be with you the keys in prison.

Writing this is because things are terrible together pieces out of PC with yeah his circumstances are terrible. He's talking to a group of people who circumstances are terrible but the one common thing they have is peace in Jesus and he's reminding them in that piece to actually see what's really happening. If all you see is what you see, Tony. Evan says he'll never see others to be seen to be attentive, open your eyes. God is always working yet is always good and you said earlier it's a discipline to think on these things, especially when everything around you is not those things and you have to discipline your mind say I'm gonna look for the faithfulness of God, in the shadow agree you and if you think that you can't. You say I can't do that I would remind you that you have the mind of Christ Jesus you have the mind of Christ.

So his very mind is working in your mind to the Holy Spirit to help you think about those things.

So just to submit to the Holy Spirit hearing concerning gain. Thanks for being with us today.that's against Dianthus kids always like just a great reminder because I don't I'm really grateful for the fact they got showed me what he showed me the way he did in that season, because I needed even for him going out the verse from Scripture that comes to mind me listening to Dave and Wilson talking with Jonathan Pitts today is Colossians chapter 3 that says, set your mind on things that are above when you don't mindset change in the midst of our grief. We need to remember that God is good that he's in control, that he loves us and that he will accomplish his purposes that will ultimately be for our good.

Jonathan talks about how God has brought this home for him in the book is written called my winter season.

We got the book in our family life today resource Center you can order your copy online@familylifetoa.com or call to order at one 800 FL today. Again, Jonathan's book is called my winter season order from us online@familylifetoa.com or call 1-800-358-6329 order. That's one 800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today in our hope and our prayer. Our goal each time we sit down here at family life to the is to create programs podcasts that will provide you with practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and for your family. Our goal is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We believe godly marriages and families can change the world. That's the mission you're helping to support when you donate to family life to were entirely listener supported. Today's program was brought to you by listeners like you and next week's programs will be brought to you by listers like you. Maybe you can be one of those listers you can call us or go online to make a donation and help advance the mission of family life to help us reach more people more often if you're able to donate today would love to send you as a thank you gift a couple books books by Matt and Lisa Jacobson about how to express love to our children 100 ways to love your son hundred ways to love your daughter.

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Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend and I hope we can be back with us on Monday when working, talk about how we raise sons and daughters who are spiritually resilient in the midst of all that is coming out our kids these days. How do we help them stand strong talk with Valerie Bell met Mark Evans and Mike Himmler about that you can join us for that on behalf of our hosts Dave and Wilson. I'm Bob Lapine will see you back Monday for another edition of family life today family like today is a production of family life accrue ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most