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August 5, 2021 2:00 am
How do you define manhood? What source do you use? Dave Wilson clearly defines the difference between a boy and a man and why that distinction is important.
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I'm really excited about today you are you big smile on your face cited for our listeners because there can hear you talking about winning their favorite topics and you're pretty passionate about this and I know a lot of people are thinking it's football but it's not for the file.
Welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most and will send Dave Wilson and you can find us if it we live today.com or on our family life app. This is family life today with your one of your great passions speaking to men about being a godly man and I'm going to tell you like secretly. This is one of my favorite topics that you speak about because I think every woman longs for her man to get this and to understand it because we long for men to really know what a godly man is yet.
I remember when I gave this message.
It was on a Sunday morning at church and you know I wanted to say to the women and the wives and the moms and the daughter sit in the congregation.
Therefore, I think it always talking to the men the day I'm going to check out and I was like no this is what you long for.
And so this is a moment to cheer your man, your husband, your son, your father to rise up to become Batman so I think it's really important message for women. Here's well let me ask you, why is this important to you in our culture today because I think the world is longing for men to be men and boys, I think, and I say this in the message. Don't know what a man is there is no vision for manhood. I didn't know what a man was until I went to the word of God and discovered God has a game plan and he has a template said this is what a man looks like this is what a man does and I'm not just saying it's his masculine toxic dominating thing is not that at all is a very tender loving spiritual servant, but strong firm where a man knows who he is and what is called to do any lives that out until he won a man does that, it makes an impact on a family on a church on a school on a locker room on a city I mean it's true for women assuming women know who they are and what they're called to be.
It has an incredible impact, but obviously I'm a man, and I there's nothing more I love than just walking in with boys and men and said let's talk about godly manhood and how to rise up to become these kind of men. And what about the single months like they don't have a husband I don't have a man pouring into their child in their home necessarily what would you say to them what I was raised by one and she taught me is Wells anybody.
What a man was so I appreciate single months. I mean I love my mom and my mom also had a vision to help me become a man, and she knew she couldn't complete that so she brought other men in my life coaches and literally I didn't even know this, but she spoke to them behind closed doors and so we you pour into my son. He does not have a dad could you be as dead in the season.
I think even for moms with sons. I know for me my own thesis, but it looks like this is what I can cast vision for this is a template goal that I want for my sons to reach so I think it's beneficial to everyone down. I would say fasten your seatbelts. I get a little riled up at times in this message and I would invite you to be a passion about as well as I call boys and men to be men. Most men feel all alone try to figure this matter.
They try to figure what man is when a husband is what dad is most of us miss her walk alone and it's tough these days to be be a man and even though man is somewhat confusing as a boy you like me. I just one of you look at Amanda say that's what man is this what dad is this what a husband is in our culture done.
Even though it crazy got asteroid so hopefully as a boy, you have a dad you can look at you go.
That's what man so man that I can trust. It's a man that's a good man. It's Amanda, you feel safe with this man. I want to follow is to find out most of us in that I got a debt. If you have that kind of data you get the kind that you should thank him and you should look them in the eye and say your good man. Thank you and thank God for the Americas. You're in my arm. You understand that venture and minority. Right now, pretty much. If you have the biologic father in your home. 33% are all the biological that is left are not even there is a just crazy how our culture doesn't know what a man is many of you know my story I broke my dad left 27 when I was he was seven, I was seven when he left he was older that, but he walked out with another woman actually women remember a whole lot.
Even though I you know he's in my life. The rest my life as I reflect back on what I remember is my dad.
My role model. What I look to to say this is what a man is.
Here's what I grew up with until I was seven I sought even after a seven dad was a womanizer so you purchased but he actually took my brother and I he was five. I was seven.
Even when were six and four years old on vacations with his girlfriend while he was married to my mom that I was alcoholic. I do not remember a single night of my life and that home that he was and he wasn't a happy drunk he was a mean drunk when he got drunk he got angry and abusive and my sister and I she was eight years older would she grab me and we run into my bedroom, shut the door cover our ears because we do want to hear what was going on between he and my mom he was allowed angry hot tempered man when he drank. He was obsessed with money, big houses, fast cars, the next deal is an airline pilot that rarely came home because he was always trying to find the next field.
That was my role model for what a man was what you think. I thought a man growing up and trust me, our culture sort of promotes is a real man a real man who you can look at a site unless a man is a man who's all about three things success.
Leona guy gets it gets the house gets a paycheck get Benny's a man. A lot of people say he's a sports you know athlete. He's got you looks good. He can he can perform on the field. That's a man or women don't get women he's unable to guide it does. I put in three CVS cash championships and conquest. Then your man is now we are absolutely bankrupt in this culture to know what a man is and by the way, I don't know if you've noticed but this culture is failing as men.
More men in prison today than ever. If your many about 11% chance it up in prison compared to women have a 1% chance what's wrong with our culture. Now you can tell, but I fired up this is manhood stuff today I'm just telling you right now. Fasten your seatbelts.
I don't receive up get the hardest thing over to where Stratford and were going are you are you ready to talk to the men today were to have the talk the talk is the talk is like you not been in an NFL locker rooms with alliance for 31 years in every state, even the NFL over 31 years of busy locker room and and when the team is losing his halftime. The coach has to give the talk you have heard this talk many times, actually. The talk is 46. All we can keep losing right I told you have heard the talking time sometimes works sometimes it doesn't say this could happen today. Here's what I need to say I want to talk to men about a biblical vision and definition of manhood, which obviously applies to women as well and husbands and it doesn't mean the stages for husbands and men it's for everybody. In fact, you know, we live in is culture. We don't even know what man is. You talk about man enough, I got a text from my secretary, Debbie, in between the last service she was overdone about today. She said hey sitting here at Panera.
Next, the two guys, one advising the other. How to break up with someone. The one guy wasn't going to do anything just stop calling her, his body said to be a man send her a text, no lie.
Unbelievable. That's the culture we live in gay guys. I'm telling you, you ready Daniel Boone's mom. Legend has it that she said this is so true.
A boy he remains a boy until a man is required. You know why we don't have amended in our culture is nobody's called amount to manhood today's today. Phyllis and Tony right now.
Today's today and I guess it is what my will to do but wait till next week. The lady said you know this when a guy talks to men about biblical vision for manhood. Guess who the beneficiaries are women and children benefit from your man or your dad or your boyfriend your husband your son Karen was going on today because if they decide to make a decision today to become a vertical man to connect with Jesus and become a man of God is going to change everything to see if the problem is, our society is you know there's there's stuff going down here downstream what were you going to fix that. You go upstream and guess who's upstream failing men there a lot of good men here a lot of good mentor society. There are really good men many you can trust minute you feel protected with. You feel safe with some of them sit right beside you better do this today told her good men tell him, tell your dad he's a good dad. Tell your husband he's a good man. He doesn't even know if he believes that he needs to hear that but there a lot of us that are failing our women failing our kids.
We really are.
We need to be called today to step up money. Let me read you some things I wrote along with some things I borrowed from a pastor in Colorado and Jim Bergen at your skull flatters and he said this and I found the same thing so many women have asked me are asking even this church addressing this question. Where are the men who actually do with a promise. Where are the men who don't leave when times get hard where the men that when they get angry. The family feels more safe because they know is anger directed at protecting them not hurting them where the men who want to love me, not just get in bed with me where the men who really walk with God not just say they walk with God where the men who are not just childlike pouting boys who want to get their way. Where are the men who obey God's word rather than pick and choose verses of the Bible that they think apply to them where the warriors who will protect me and my children because all I've seen are men who are bullies or worse is that, don't make me feel safe. Where are the men who will actually lead me spiritually. Where are the men who make me feel safe.
Where are the men that I can trust when I'm along with him where the men I can trust when he's alone by himself.
Where are the tell you what there is a lot at stake here today. Phyllis is a lot at stake is how we go man is how the culture goes how our family goes how this church because an enemy say this lady says you're sit beside you guys are your boyfriend or your husband or your dad or your son.
Please don't be doing this the whole thing yeah you did you listen don't do that you may already figure this out. But when a woman pushes Amanda doesn't work we rebel against that. We hate that when a woman tries to tell us how to be a man fact, you may Artie know this lady's but only a man can help a boy become a man, a woman can't. There's nothing against women at a single mom and she was a great she is incredible, but she knew that she could only raise me from just the boy hit it took Amanda take me from boyhood to manhood and she gotten men in my life. She literally asked coaches. I never knew this to become my dad for this season's yes music directors and other men the porn to because she knew that this young boy will become a man in the presence of just women it takes men to do so before I jump in what you do today is in a talk about two characteristics of vertical husband or vertical wife and let me make one last comment, it would be this I need to say to the single ladies if you are dating, or even thinking about dating a guy that doesn't exhibit the characteristics of a talk about her second size universities. If you think that's the guy I'm with you stay with that guy and if he doesn't have these characteristics. I got one word for you. Ron and run fast here and I can your date this guy and he's not live in the stuff.
He may say that's why am is not doing it. I'm telling you don't trust what man says trust what man does, so that you can trust. You run, you run quick. I know you're thinking, but I do now never have a date below the bar solos like this guy makes me feel you don't feel good he's so cute that's a really low bar because you want to know the definition of a painful life. I'll tell you what it is marrying a boy there women writers like you, I would just some you mom just grabbed her daughters that you listen to this bald guy. He's thinking the truth is true you run, you run fast until that boy becomes a man. Is this real quick yesterday afternoon. Here's the difference between boys and men ready to come up with a slight boys taken by white single ladies you listen all ladies you listen you listen boys take men give Cicero boys take men give boys asked doesn't feel good to do it.
Men asked is it right. Boys are all in. As long as he goes the way they want.
Men are all in until they finish what they started. Boys are about self-indulgence mentor about sacrificial love boys are passive men show up boys expect others to provide what they lack men look around to see where something is lacking, and provide boys consume men produce boys are born mentor made her actually trained boys cheat men honor their promises.
Boys don't control their lust. Men choose to control their temptations. Boys choose anger fits.
I chose the word choose because it's just happen you choose anger boys choose anger fits men choose path to peace. A boy thinks his life is all about him. A man knows his life is been given to him to serve others. Ladies find a man not a boy. If you're married to someone you sooner go, man. He's a boy.
Let me talk to your husband today. Today fella. You don't have to stay a boy.
It's a decision that you make right here today to say I'm taken the first step to manhood you with the first step is you go vertical is the strongest move you'll ever make is a real man is on your knees. It's a move of surrender victory as crazy as it sounds for all of us, especially for men today comes when you surrender to Jesus second to give you two characteristics I decided this was first put on sound like it's the characteristics of say the same thing. Here's the first characteristic of vertical manner. Vertical husband or vertical man is sexy on the redefined sexy for you okay because we're sexily they go mad at somebody and that's perfect. Absent perfect shoulders and a chest like mine. You're looking at right here is that Sauer was looking for lobbied simulators like well that's not all you're looking for. Here's what I discovered my wife, very minute she told me this other lady said you know you hear from any in stock to run the country to speak about this you find out that Christian women really want a man right ladies that walks with God is a man who connects vertically with God, who goes to God first, who finds life in Jesus is a man you contrast again as I will.
I know a lot of guises say that any can trust will guess what they're not really go vertical first lot guises say their purses log the sediment of God Amanda God wants it, not in our own power in his power, but they are manner of my nose are okay when I go vertical when I'm walking with God. What happens in my life. How does this affect my home outside what happens I win over sin struggles yes and struggle in the way I have victory. Why is the power of God vertically coming through my life. I went over city think affects my wife sure does. So I went over last yet is affect her llama looking up or notice affect her. Yeah, I know my true identity and I walk with freedom and confidence thing, but that most man even men here don't know who they are and are trying to get ready for their wife or from their job. When I connect vertically person I know who God is and I know who I am walking confidence and freedom you think a woman was a confident mansion was a proud man. She was a weak man advises confidence in Christ. When I walk got on other centered. I step in the situations where a man is needed Joe to sit earlier. Boys are passive men show up to your something about boyhood manhood has nothing to do with age so boy come in at 1316. Now we don't know if you have no idea. There are guys in their 40s and 50s that are there boys are really very crazy because you do with the Navy has to do with when you start acting like a man and connect vertically gotten not be impassive but showed up when I got I deleted my home is on tender, not harsh and impatient like I often will be will not connect with God, but I find strength in God on tender I have a deep sense of contentment and joy guys.
We should be discontented in our walk with God. One more push for more. We should be contented in our life and find joy, but our societies left most manner content with the national church was weak, no big deal.
I want too much to Jesus because I don't really affect my life and your wife is like all I want to Jesus and you you demand that is appealing to me becomes so irresistible to my wife as a man of God that she starts to chase me around the house tonight, here listening to family life today and that's a message that Dave, my husband gave in 2015 in a sermon in our church and Dave didn't work and I wish I could remember. I remember good things. Yes, you are chasing me around the house. I don't know if you caught me or not but it was a good Sunday night, but I mean that the idea is you've told me this, it's true.
So many times is that when I walk with God. It's like I am irresistible and obviously as making funded psychophysical thing, but you're talking what is it about a man walking with God that draws others, including his wife and kids to him.
The first thing comes my mind is you display the fruit of the spirit, love, joy, and peace patients, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control that fruit is irresistible and what it does is it makes us as winning me as your wife. I think I will follow you here surveying your your patient, your kind like that's attractive to any person, and especially to your wife. I think we've lived in a culture that says if a man is overly spiritual. He's weak yeah and he is not like a manly man and wimpy. The opposite is the truth. The stronger a man is in Christ. Like I said he sexy. In other words, a woman is drawn to that and I think everyone is just be truthful.
I think women are tired and feeling like they're the ones that are upholding the spiritual dynamic of the home, or even setting the spiritual temperature for the home we want to partner with our husbands and not feel like were dragging them with us yet. So it really is a call for men to be men and to step out and watch what good does it have to believe that most of the guys who are listening today are guys who want to be good husbands good dads. We want to be effective and successful at home and what they Wilson saying is that if that's true, the place to start is in our relationship with God pursuing him becoming a godly man to try to be a good husband and a good dad without going to God first.
Much like trying to patch up a tire that's got leaks in it.
Instead of replacing it with a brand-new tire we need to start with new hearts, new lives in the mud God work in and through us to serve our wives and our families. They went and have written about this in a book on marriage called vertical marriage that points us upward. If we want our marriages to be what God wants them to be, we have to start by going vertical. We got copies of the vertical marriage book and there is a vertical marriage small group series available as well go to family life today.com order the book or to get the small group series to go through with other couples. Again, the title of David and Wilson's book is vertical marriage, you can order it from us online@familylifetoday.com or call to order at one 800 FL today, 1-800-358-6329 that's one 800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today.
Our goal here at family life is to do everything we can do to help effectively develop godly marriages and families. We believe that godly marriages and families can change the world one home at a time and so everything we do is designed to bring practical biblical help and hope to you for your marriage and for your family. If you're a longtime listener. If you benefited from what you hear in family life to can I challenge you to join the team and make this program available for other listeners in your community and all around the world make a donation today online@familylifetoa.com or call us to donate at one 800 FL today. Help us reach her neighbors and people all around the world with the same kind of practical biblical help and hope for their marriage. When you do would love to send you a book by crab and wax, called rethink your self. It's all about understanding our identity in Christ really is central to what Dave is been talking about today.
Going vertical in our relationship with God in order to be effective in our relationships with one another again.
Trevor and wax book is our thank you gift to you.
When you make a donation today and we look forward to hearing from you and we hope you can join us again tomorrow when working to further explore the impact it can have on a marriage and a family. When a husband and father goes vertical. When he commits himself to being a godly man will hear more from Dave Wilson tomorrow.
Hope you can be with us for that on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson on Bob Lapine. See back next time for another edition of family life to family life today is a production of family life accrue ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most