Devotion Over Distraction

Okay when we go out on a date. Yes, what makes you happy and what makes you said I happy when were talking.

I love that mad or sad. I know you're innocent when you pull out your phone knew that's where you're going OR if I have left my phone in the car and so you'll pick up your phone while we were having dinner and then I think I have nothing to do because I'm sitting here by myself and it also makes me sad when I (only asking one welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue relationships that matter most time and Wilson and Dave Wilson and you can find us if we live today.com or on our family life. This is family life today and by the way, listeners are not the only one that does this. We get in the car.

This makes me said we get in the car was there drug somewhere I look over. She's she's engrossed you're engrossed in your phone is the only time I'm on my phone. I Michael we get the chance of talking. She's going to her phone to do an email you restroom so we need help and we got help sitting right across the studio for us. Yeah when you speak is back again with this right it is she wrote a book, but several books actually but this one is the 40 day social media fast. Wendy welcome back to family life to thank you I love it here. I love that you guys are doing and I'm really excited about talking about how this applies to our families so like you have worried eyes like LLIL is just resonating your story I think is our story and when I say our I mean, aren't our generation. Story so distracted and really the subtitle about that and want to read it exchange your online distractions for real-life devotion.

He was so distracted were having a hard time being devoted devoted in our faith lives devoted in our married life devoted in our parenting because were distracted.

I don't think were setting out to do wrong writing short tempered with each other to be, but were distracted. Now if you ever experience what we just talk yeah yeah married you got three teenage boys has that ever been a struggle in your own marriage is sure and when we go to a place or let's say were on a long drive somewhere.

We just took a long drive as a family and if working to be going through a beautiful mountain pass. Okay, everybody phones down right intentional to say this is the moment we don't want to mess however we talked last time about this, we want to miss moments with one another. We don't want to miss moments of engagement with neighbors, you know, when you walk out the front door and you can get in your car and and you just mall across the street is doing the same or watering his yard or whatever. Are you available for a hello or are you too busy with your online people to engage with your real life. That's a good way that I was just over last week and made a habit of not being on my phone and it will burn. It's easy to do that in our cars as you also.

This woman is talking. He was she was an amazing woman and she started talking about her family what she did her upbringing, because Huber sometimes you have 40 minutes to be in the car with them and then she mentioned that today was her birthday and I'm in labor with two other friends and I just started saying some exciting today your birthday and I just put my hand on her shoulder and liked Jesus, thank you for and I named her just cut started praying for and when she turned around to look at me she's crying now and she said I can't thank you and I love Jesus I love Jesus and thank you for hearing me. Those are the moments that we can miss when were so absorbed in our phones as we said earlier, we had our heads down and we don't see who is in front of us. We don't have the opportunity to love those in front of us, absolutely, I totally agree with you and I think we miss out on them because we miss out on him, claiming that yeah I think it's hard to spend a lot of time with the Lord these days. It's not that he has stopped talking. It's that our world has gotten very loud and end there's there's a chapter in in the book were attached about the volume of it all.

That's where he tells us so clearly that he's singing over us with songs of joy that if you're not in touch with the Lord delighting in you if you not hearing that in your spirit.

It could be that your world has just gotten too loud that's really hard because I find that I need silence. And when I'm in silence.

I hear God's voice sometimes when I'm worshiping even a church I'll sit down and out asked Jesus like Lord speak to me what he want to say to me right now. It's that quiet moment of asking to hear him, but then I find myself getting really mad at our kids like you guys are never going to hear God's voice.

If you're always on your device and so then they roll their eyes. You have three teenagers. How do you address that, or even seeing their world, like warnings, but you know usually when I'm interviewed. The last question is always something like so what about some boundaries like before you hit day 41 how you set boundaries, so it's not just a digital detox but you go right back to and same as sugar or whatever it is you're giving up for 40 days so I usually go through some of what our family boundaries are and I like the term boundaries. I preferred the term guardrails like you know when you're on a mountain pass you're thankful there are guardrails there there to keep you safe if you go on a roller coaster it's gonna do a loop the loop you glad that there's something going over your shoulder since dropping you in and said that's really what those those guardrails do those boundaries do they hold us in place not to be a killjoy not to make it so were not having fun, but to free us up so we can have fun so I like having some boundaries and I share them with the boys and young, they are more like rules right that I like to say these are life skills, I'm not trying to be a killjoy. I want you to have good life, and if you honor me in this, I think that God's promise to give you good life is a lot easier.

So one of my phrases that I use. I love you know catchy phrases because they're just so easy to remember. And that's the word before the world. The word for the world's opening yourself up to the word and the one who made the world before you open yourself up to everyone in the world and on the World Wide Web and when I do that first and when I teach my children to do that and they don't always and I try to not make it so it's like I told you to because I mean like that's really want to live God's word but I see that you're on your phone. Can you put that down as I think you cracked the Bible this morning. Have you mom I'm reading through limitations right now.

I read chapters 2 and three and I'm glad you had time with a Latin printout of Lamentations II should not abuse that 17-year-olds and lamentations right now because he's tried to get through multiple but the word before the world has been a really good one for our family for the boys and then of course if you have children having those boundaries about that something we do one school work is done. And once these couple of chores, are each day. If your beds not made and you haven't done your homework. There's no need to be on mine craft right now so those are some of the things that I've done.

As the boys been growing up. Now that they're older. I really want to focus on life skills rather than rules.

Yeah, because they're not going to be in my how much longer I I see that as soon as it's off of my phone I've mentioned before to you that when they get social media it's on mom sound and it's actually something we do together because of my privilege to lock them through how to have interactions with people in a healthy way online and then once I feel that they're making good choices.

Then they get a chance if they make poor choices and I pray God for making poor choices. Please let them get caught.

So I yeah I have that privilege again to walk them through making right choices and one of my children made some poor choices. That's his story not mine to share but my husband said I just delete it and I said that this is a life skill he has to have with a way to get emotional. Just think about it.

This is how our life works in the world is we are on line so I would rather disciple him through that then say you've lost that privilege. Let me help you learn to handle that privilege so others are likely because longer say in a few years he's gonna be off on his own and you will be there to disciple them. So how did the will that situation we were talking about not being influenced but what does it mean to be an influencer enemy parents that are listening. How often are you sitting down having these intentional conversations about social media so we know that were off with our own choices, so let's do a 40 day fast and during that time intercede for your kids in their relationship with social media and then during that time asked the Lord how can I get involved in their relationship with social media because I know a lot of parents are like hands off and they feel hands-off. They feel like they have no control. So how can we, and we don't have them control. We only have self-control, but how can we get involved so we can train them in having a little more self closure. It was interesting for me when covert hood over a year ago I was living what you just said word before world is like I didn't have that phrase but that's what I wanted to do. I think we both and probably a lot of us like I want to make sure my life is being in the input of my life is the word that the world is important will be both.

But I found myself I don't know month in six weeks.

Then when I wake up in the morning and grab my phone which is a bad move, but there it is. I was thinking I'm going to the Bible to my Devo plan and the New York Times notification combustor, and I found myself more than I want to admit right here. Clicking on that notification thinking I will note the numbers are our notes pandemics doing the other to give me info about the crisis our world and right now and the next thing I know I've read the whole article.

Click on other articles that are similar and you never opened up Lamentations.

I meant to you as any book of Michael do it later and again here we are. So here's a question for my addicted. How do you know when somebody sort. It's a problem I mean we say problem it's a problem if it's a problem it's problem and it is a problem yeah and so you know that's that's funny I get asked that that I really don't think people need me to tell them how they know the problem. I think we know in our spirits that were doing it. It's just not the best for you and really am, we joke about it. But if your wife or your your husband or says something to you right this probably prominent and have even my kids.

Have you thought well I just logged four hours on my phone today when I spent four hours with God today, what would IT like food. I look like you know it would be absolutely life-changing, and what happenings were being discipled by our culture that have been discipled by the word of God and its staggering those results because we just slowly and drift into the just said what would I look like, and I was reminded of my word knows this 40 days face to face what did he look like kind of the floor. His face was so radiant. It was frightening and yet you know the pixilated glow of our screens does not make a shine, even with our filters know he says you walk with me and you will be the light of the world. Walk with me face-to-face not face-to-face book acute refer to Moses W and impact that will be seen in some sense and I think you hit it you hinted at it earlier. There's also an impact internally in our soul. My one son who's a coat copastor with me was preaching couple years ago and he made the statement he said whatever we look at out there sorting gaze upon out there will determine how we feel in here right and what you said word before world. It's like what you looking at what is your gaze about is going to determine your feelings, your emotions, your soul, and I don't think we always make that connection absolutely and yet there's a phrase called what you behold you become more what you what you you are what you eat like what what you're ingesting what you're consuming and I love how the Fortier sugar fast and the 40 day social media fast or what were consuming consuming with your mouth consuming with your eyes.

Also, while you were talking, of course, listeners. You can't see him but he kept holding up his hand about all I don't know 9 inches in front of his face and in his eyes Going to his fingers and maybe making a bit of the jump here that I'm reminded of the. The invitation for us to cast down what's causing us to sin.

And it says if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it down better to lose a hand than for your whole body to go in a Roth IRA is saying I'm out and then it says if you're right, I causes you to sin, and as you were doing that is thinking what are the two body parts that are most involved in scrolling. Okay, maybe not your thumb but that's part of your hand. Your hand and your eyes your hand in your eyes and it's so consuming 9 inches in front of your face you can't see past that you have no peripheral vision can't see your kids can't see your grandkids can see your spouse.

It can cause a lot.

I think I said it to the four devices are divisive… Take a break for 40 days and now I would like to put some words in the host's amount over them often get asked that were so connected. We can't do this. This is how we do our work.

I run social media for this ministry and I did I answer all my emails here and I do this and I do that it's not even possible, and I have a book coming out.

And no, I am your only headband social media that we had that conversation regarding came up, you say to those people that say I can't write. I would say well for a couple people in a couple situations I would say what you can't fast from everything that if you need to because you run your church's social media for them. I would say you know you could schedule that was later.com is one app you can use to schedule all of your post for the next 40 days. If you need to engage what do you need more than 15 minutes if you do what you need 30, 40 once a day. Do you need me twice a day if it's work. I mean I'm not to tell you to stop working, though I have had people say I shut down my business for 40 days because I run in at C*so if the Lord calls you to sending this Wendy's to do list or to don't list to eat list or to not East to scroll that are to not scroll this. This is a detailed fast that you take the details to the Lord of the fast and say what should this look like that we are in this season when a lot of people still are doing their Bible studies online. Kids are doing their distance-learning so you are spending hours perhaps online but what are those virtual rabbit holes maybe fall down there taking your time is it, YouTube is it Netflix is a Facebook is it Instagram, what is it beyond the things you have to do for for work or finding your child's soccer schedule in his Facebook group do need to hop on and do that.

Could you let someone give me a text because I'd like to be off it for the next unit of these 40 days. There are things you can do so if you say I can't because I'm so connected I would challenge you are you so connected that you disconnected and if you are disconnects you can reconnect us go back to that word fast because Jesus talked about it sent talks about in the Bible a lot. What is a fast and why are we asked or commanded or suggested to fast. What is that fasting is setting down something that is temporary and ordinary, in order to feast on the one who is eternally extraordinary good so we we run to something that's not eternal, and it distracts us from the one who lists it doesn't actually get us through. It doesn't fuel us and think that going back to the sugar fast is a great example of yes, in that moment, only one is that sweet tea that left over brownie the handful of chocolate chips, but does it give us what we need to get through our day and be more Christlike if it doesn't, that's a great opportunity to practice fasting. Let's set down something that doesn't really get the job done in our lives to to return to turn and return to the one who does Joel 212. I believe it is, says returned to me with fasting and morning and I remember the last time we talked about fasting you said Dave that when you would do like the whole 30 or something like that you would get grumpy Hope you get grumpy and so when we do the fast. I deftly grumpy but and and certainly for the first few days I go through this grumpy season and the first time I did the fast. I was really upset about being upset because I like the Lord. Your word says clearly that in your presence there is fullness of joy where's the joy that's the verse that Joel two verse about returned to me with fasting and mourning and weeping. Why did those two things go hand-in-hand and we can talk about physiologically what's going on here crashing because you grown dependent for the dopamine release of having sugar and caffeine, or even the then rings and the dings and the notifications on your phone have caused dopamine releases so you've grown addicted to it and you have to go through a detox and you can feel down for a few days as you find your joy now in the Lord and in the healthier way to get this dopamine releases so there's that. But there's also when it says returned to me if we need to return to him sufficiently get in touch with a little bit of weeping and mourning that we had turned from him in the first place. And so I encourage people in their fasting. If you feel a little lousy there okay I mean condemnation. I mean, allow yourself to lamentations to lament a bit.

You can feel bad that you've been turning to what you're eating and what you're looking at and what you're scrolling through instead of turning to handset. If you return and you feel a little crummy because you're not eating and binge watching on things so feel bad, but let it feel bad in a way that foot.

This is conviction, so sorry. I repent that and that's exactly what turning and returning is about it, literally, physically repenting, it is doing a 180. I was going to my phone now I'm coming to you I was going to the pantry now and feasting on your word so good because I was just talking to someone a few weeks ago and she said my life has been so busy chasing my career than having babies and again trying to being a mom and working.

She said my soul hasn't had any time to slow down and suddenly she's faced with a little bit more time on her hands and she's realized I'm really hurting and I haven't slowed down enough to even let myself feel back and I think we do that in our culture I've done, you and your numb and so we don't listen to our soul and spirit because were hiding in our social media and I can hide on Netflix all night.

There's some crazy fun there and yet that time when we allow when were fasting and we feel it can be so healing. It's coming like I'll finally have your attention, and I want to love you and I want to heal you and I want you to barely hear me in ways you haven't been such a long time and I would just say no very basic and this that seems so much harder to lose like oh man to connect with the ward to connect with somebody in front of me, kids, wife, spouse, friend is going to be work, you know, we've got some we go talk through is like yeah working a working testing. Well, I think a lot of people that they open the phone like this is easy as a form of escape and would even say your escape sees all the most important part of your life. Yes, but I would say it self-medicating exactly like that you just brought up pain and I just want take a moment to if you're if you're listening and you know that your masking pain with what you're eating or what you're looking at just want to remind you that Jesus was so kind to invite you to come to him, says if you hurting if you are weary and heavy laden, come to me. I will give you peace.

I will be your piece. I will be your Prince of peace. I will give you the healing you don't need to self medicate. Come to the great physician and it it could be on your phone, you open the word you feast it isn't a bad device. It can lead to better things. But man open the phone for the right thing in open that up and what is were partial mucus. The harder thing often is the best thing right okay so what are we gonna do we do a sugar farm actually do a meet estimate together. I honestly think the food part is easier for me than the social that is hard for me to show the sugar fast yeah and you people that are doing the fast communicate back and forth okay during the sugar fast. It is tens of thousands of people all doing it to gather and I have had people say that I've been in so many Bible studies and I have never experienced community like that. It is radical product that's a really good plan to do it with some other people.

I say reach out to your friends. Yeah your own and this is going and blow your socks off if you say hey I'm doing sugar fast and you just send it out to your girlfriends or your ear. I cannot looking at your I am not that you know it or that the people that you walk with around the neighborhood and you pray for your kids together. If you do that with your mops group you are going to be blown away how many people say yes, I'll do it and then say in the world right in the social media last year to see how many people start backpedaling the like but but but but but but but yeah maybe you start out with just one thing I can get on Instagram yeah you know like if it's too hard to just ditch everything does take baby steps in detail their Lord and he'll give you clarity better. I don't know the issue for use sugar or social media or whatever it might be all of us have appetites and when we control our appetites. That's okay with our appetites control us. That's when were in trouble and that's really what when we speak is been addressing in this conversation about social media and about sugar fasts were making Wendy's book the 40 day social media fast available this week to those of you are saying I'm ready to step in and take this journey take this adventure. Maybe you've looked at your own experience with social media and you recognize it's not having a good spiritual impact on you. It's a distraction it's affecting your emotions.

It's affecting your relationships go on the journey. Take the 40 day social media fast that Wendy has talked about. We are making her book available. As I said to those of you who can partner with us and extend the reach of family life. Our mission of family life is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We believe godly marriages and families can change the world. And so, as you support this ministry you're actually supporting stronger, healthier marriages and families but just during United States but all around the world.

We are entirely donor dependent. Your donations make all that we do possible, so we want to ask you to consider a donation today when you go to our website. Family life today.com or call one 800 FL today to donate should ask for your copy of Wendy speaks book the 40 day social media fast exchanging your online distractions. The real-life devotion to our thank you gift to you for your donation and we are grateful for our partnership together and we been talking about the subject of screen time and social media and the online experience whole lot this month. David Robbins was the president of family life is here with us in one of the reasons were talking about. This is because this is where folks are living, these are the kinds of issues that our listeners tell us they need help with, and that's our goal here of family life is to provide our listeners with practical biblical relevant help and hope that's right. One of our strategic priorities is how do we continue to learn the felt needs and pain points of today's families and it should not be surprising. This is wild and clear. This is a discipleship borderline crisis of how do parents who didn't grow up in a social media infused world. Not only were respond to it themselves because I got look myself in the mirror but also how do they help in discipling and engage their kids who are being infused with it. A lot of times the parents don't even know how it's happening them. I think this month is been a time of us hearing from you as listeners and us wanting to respond and bring to you a variety of perspectives to help you biblically and practically navigate the issues of our day.

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