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June 30, 2021 2:00 am
As single moms draw near to God, PeggySue Wells and Pam Farrel say that it is more than possible to build a spiritual legacy for their children.
Okay so I would say well the hardest thing to do is apparent if you're a follower of Christ and you want to live out a vibrant walk with God and be a parent with little kids or teenagers, you name it the hardest thing to do is what you're great at this, by the way, the hardest thing is to model it. I mean, it is to let your words match on animated to open editors and thousand hardest things to do, what I was thinking you know create your own vibrant walk with God. Yes, I mean my my modeling your walk with God. Kids catch it. They see it. Welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most and will send Dave Wilson and you can find us@familyliketoday.com or on our family life. This is family life today. Remember I can't remember saying to them, like when we get a Bible study devotional. Remember that thing that we didn't really think really stressed about it, but what they did say was, but I remember seeing you pray.
Remember seeing you on your knees. I remember seeing you lifting your hands in worship and that made me think it's real.
I don't think there's a day I can remember not walking through the kitchen and soon you and your one year Bible which you've gone through multiple decades. It feels like in our console as well, but I think you knows we think about that how much harder for single mom or single dad, a single parent to do that so we got to experts who've written the greatest book ever on single parents, Pam Farrell and Peggy Sue Wells.
Welcome to family life to a thank you yeah have you back and were talking about your latest book. It's called the 10 best decisions as single mother can make and we've already been. I feel like we had this great wealth of information.
If you missed anything we said already you go back and listen to it on my kidneys talk about your story and coached us again. Just a single mom stuff, but in just, you know how to convert a vibrant walk with God how to how to go through trauma how to thrive when it's hard to thrive decision is 20 or 10 best decisions choosing to thrive and both best-selling authors, so your authors Peggy Sue you freight seven kids as a single mom and Pam. You were one of three siblings that you had a single mom. That was pretty much your superhero, your parents were divorced, but he was. Bill had been married 42 years right with three kids all have healthy, happy and healthy happy grandkids and like God's payoff is so sweet. Really honest that it's not always easy to also say because you just modeled.
It is one of the things that hit me when I became a dad's work on the legacy of my going to continue the legacy I was given was alcohol, adultery, divorce if I'm not careful to copy the sins of the father.
Your mom change that you've change that. It's possible right guys is very possible on the front of our uncover is to let umbrellas be like why are there two umbrellas on that front cover of a single mom back and I like to say that God is the big umbrella that he shelter size and then that sweet second umbrella is the single mom shelters her family and there's a beautiful verse, God is our shelter. He will keep me safe in his dwelling. He will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and he will set me upon a rock in the Hebrew that's umbrella.
He is our shelter when we run into God.
He's a strong tower the righteous run in hours, so no matter what the chaos, the craziness is around us. If we run into the very character of God. He shelters us. We want to really encourage single moms.
We want to give them hope. But talk to you as we talk about God talk to the moms that are like mad at God.
You know that are blaming God the feel that God has abandoned them. How would you address that I had been there and I've done that and the thing that I'm here to tell you is time when it what I've learned about what the Lord does is that whatever I'm thinking it is. It's probably backwards from the truth and there's times was like this happen and then God in his spirit says what you think. I protected you from what you think maybe could have been a lot worse had I not stepped in and so that I would say please tell God how you feel he is upset with what you're thinking is telemedicine into one things are experiences when you tell them what you feel. And again, be honest, be authentic. Listen yeah because it took me 30 years to get to where you just talk about Peggy Sue were I realize I was 30 some of maybe older where realize all God to protect me from my dad and again it was all I got was soon I removed your dad that was his decision. He left of a human being made a decision to leave but for 30 years. I was mad like God, why did you let him. Why did I have to grow up with no dad here I am. I'm in generation were none of my classmates had no data on now it's different but so I felt that loss, but it wasn't always in my 30s where I felt like God said, you're not the man you are today if he would've been the man raised you do that because he is there. There was a protection that may be the most amazing man is over what you're pretty but it was just a perspective to go. It was sort of backwards anything to him. I love having all that perspective. But as you get into the practicality of it because you guys are super practical and all of your writings. How do we even thinking of moms that have preschoolers moms that are overwhelmed whether there single moms or there is a two parent family. How do they make it a priority when they're working when they're trying to care for everyone when they feel overwhelmed when they try to make everything important. How do you make your walk with God a priority when you have no time to yourself sometimes one of the things that standing between us in our walk with God is that we've got some stuff. There's some reactions that I had to certain situations that I'm not proud of. Or maybe I was the one who made some bad decisions that cause some horrendous things happening.
A breakup of relationships or whatever and so we carry a lot of that stuff and I remember thinking, and again this is one of the things I thought is that I had to somehow prove to God that I was sorry in order for him to give me any sort of forgiveness and my little grandson the other day was outside playing in Indiana, you know, there's no there's no fences like our plan is that of all or any use the sand and this little toddler turns and he starts headed for the front into the street and so I came up behind and I like my can you get back your right this minute. What is wrong with you going into timeout for the whole rest of your life. You may find your way back and then you think about what you've done okay now when I say that you like. I don't think so.
You wouldn't talk to your grandson like that, but how many of us think that's how God talks to think that because I messed up somewhere. That's what God's thinking and that's what he saying to me and so I came up next to my grandson and I kind of bent low and I said let's go back to your safe and so they bent low heat turned in my arms and asking them is my little boy. And in that moment you know God, taps on the children is like to get it.
That's how I really like do you want him to have to find his way back do you want him to have to convince you that he's sorry that he wanted off the wrong way and willing to lie down. In fact, he couldn't find his way back if he wanted to come back. He doesn't know the way and God said that's how forgiveness is this is all you have to do is turn in your braces. I get that's all. Forgiveness is is you turning into my embrace and I scoop you up and in that moment you don't have to find a way back because I want you to find a way back to take it from here. I got a place where I got for you. That is just that simple. It's not about anything hard.
So I want everybody out there who's like oh you have no idea what a debt you have no idea how responding you have no idea what I said and no idea in the mood that I was in the other morning with my kids like it's okay just turning to God's embrace is scoop you up. You can be exactly what you're supposed to be and then let's move forward together so that feels okay I can turn all you're saying is to turn and I can remember even being a young mom like I can have a quiet time anymore.
So maybe go through a couple days and I always felt like got mad at me because I haven't been with him. I think about our grown sons and her daughter-in-law's or grandkids coming.
I can't wait for them to come. I don't think where he been here here.
I'm so excited to see you and I've realized is as you said Peggy Sue is awaiting.
He can't wait to embrace us and now I had that overwhelming sense of I can't wait to be with him because no one loves me like the father.
I love the Psalms because David really did. Yes voice, his frustration, his fear, his anger and yet as he voices it is dependent to paper or he saying it. He would come back to you are good that you love me and I love the honesty of David's walk with God. It's a relationship and I think once we get it in our mind. It a walk with God is not something we do. It's a relationship we have. There's a lot of freedom there for me as a busy mom married to pastor. I had a lot of spinning plates like single moms deal and so I may hearing God's word into my life like I might get a few minutes in the morning but then I would turn on like family.
Like today radio you might like and there's like today.
At that point, today's Christian woman ever to magazine. My friend Nancy Carmichael Road in the region one article and then I my I turn on the music like the part of the most powerful thing I see every morning morning is before I even get bad. I say this is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it. Then I take one step and I say Alexa turn on Christian worship my way through my day. It could mean they listen to a podcast when I go on prayer walk with God. It could be losing Tupac as well.
I fold towels into the mundane, the dishes, whatever.
So you maximize those moments and you layer God's word into your life and I remember being so inspired by Reese Graham and she likes Lissette she like function like a single mom is Billy red cell and tells this wonderful story about moms Bible opened up on the counter in the kitchen and she would walk by and she would memorize a piece and then she would walk by later date. Memorize another piece. What by memorizing and she said the word walked into my mom's heart my that that is how we do it a little piece a little step a little word at a time with and if you can't let all and all you're doing is reading to the kids Bible. I would say the Bible God talks to me through this.
You know were doing this at the kindergarten level. The first grade level. Second, whatever, but talk to me because I have seven minutes so it takes to go through a chapter in the Bible is seven minutes and we would sit down together. You know, in the living room is that the jams on or after dinner before you know you run off after breakfast seven minutes and every day we had our face in the in the word and we read that and so whether it was the kids or whether it later on as soon as he could.
We got into the full-size Bible we were there for seven minutes and then after that we would bless and we will pray and then we would sing songs of the little kids and so our vital time ended up morphing into a longer longer process but in the kids group can screw and lay there and play with mean. Other Legos while I'm reading Atlanta and find that you can be moving just be listening so in the back of the book we have a couple of appendixes in one of the appendixes that I like the best is when it was first in church and are passive and say do to them after church and like what is that I know that is any psychosis reading the Bible that you kids can do that so we did add more things and but we put an appendix in their pans got what she did with her boys.
I got what I did with my kids you want. Don't do the parts you don't want to date nights we got home late from an event I still read a Psalm, but we had our nose in your single mom with seven kids devotional and prayer time every night. Just come and stand on this pedestal and setting so that means everybody does. One sure each morning. That's our service of the family so the hell stayed there because we all contributed about me is one of the key things we do you like and there's the whole learner and leaders who love God. That's how I raise my kids and we negotiate privileges and responsibilities once a year.
Mom you are not the main your kids have a part in his family. Everybody has their chores or tasks of the year and we applauded the uniqueness we Guide Building into Each Child and They Were Given a Gift Once a Year to like Applied Who God Is Creating Need to Be More Specific Right so They Have What Is It One Year. Learner and Leader Day When School Started. Once a Year, so This Goes with the Proactive Part Peggy Sue Is Proactive. She Was Not Made. Everybody Has Part I Had That Same Philosophy. I Want My Daughter Lost a Loved One Day so I'm Sense to Have a Role in the Family and Sell Once Year Learner Leader Day, We Would Have What We Call Force Farrell Family Fund, Which Is Say That like We Will Have Fun. Have a Fine Day and Halfway through That Day at Lunch Time. Legally Negotiate This Contract and It Was Privileges and Responsibilities and There Is Even a List of What Kids Can Do at Different Ages and Stages so That You Can Delegate All in the Book so That Every Kid in Every Age Can Do Something to Help the Family and Then We Gave a Gift That Gift Was Three Things. It Was Practical, Something We Would Buy Anyway. Lunchbox Backpacking All Gym Bag, Maybe with a Verse on It Excel so Still More Run in Such a Way That You Might Win. It Was Personal.
So Everything to Get the Same Gift Was Unique to Them and Then It Was Prophetic.
I Spoke to the Promise of Potential of That Child.
It Was Kind of like How Your Mom Built in Your Life That Your Awesome Person and That Little Story Sidebar Story of That Is My Husband. It's He Wants to Bill into the Grandkids to You and so Is Sutton, Who Is like Five Second Genome Which You Are and He's like You're on Me. She Said Okay Fine Then What Is to and Bill Said He's Remarkable and Remarkable Remarkable Kind of Speaking Life into Your Kids Enough Unenjoyable Way so They Looked Forward to Learner Leader Day. Now They Have Learned Later Today with Their Kids and the Ones That Have Children Because It's like Christmas in September or January, but It's a Way to Really Pour God's Truths into Them and Also Make Them a Moving Member of Your Family That Get Stuff Done so You Can Have Time to Spend Time with God. You Can Create Family Time to Go to the Park at the Beach after Everybody Cleans the Room Etc. and so the Book Is Packed with No Really Practical Parenting Tools like What to Do with the Prodigal. You Often Times When You Look at a Prodigal's Heart You Just Pray God Show Me the Path of Pain That Got Them to That Line If I Can Identify the Path of Pain and See Where It What Light Is. Then I Can Maybe Help Brief Truths into Their Life and Maybe to a Christian Counselor Maybe through a Set of Good Friends. You Call in C Are Not the Only One Speaking Truth in Life into Them Set up a System Support System around Your Child around Your Family. So We Try to Look at All Kinds of Practical Parenting Things – Including Something Fun to Do Every Season of the Year in an Appendix in the Back Because I Find It Hard to Be Fun When You're like Heartbroken Exactly.
And As Far As the Reading and Doing the Bible Time Because She Was Very Strong with Doing That Every Day with Her Family and I Did It with Mine. But since Blankets Can Read Read the Bible Towels You Know While You Are Reading but We Still Got Together As a Family, Whichever Can Could Read Them.
So We Would Rotated through Self Is Really They Were Reading It, They Could Find the Books of the Bible They Could Find Where It Was There Familiar with It. It Didn't Look like a Bunch of Words They Have Been Reading It All Their Life to Deal Our Family Bible Times, and so Would like, Okay, Well, How Can We We Just Heard That I Had Split Some Rules on the Armor of God Paper Is a Little Bit of Fun to Your Spirits.
That's What I Found. It Wasn't Just for the Kids. Like I Needed My Spirits Lifted on Many of the Teen Years.
How Did You Live That out in the Teen Years When They Were Rolling Their Eyes. We Have One of My Kids Was a Great I Will Learn Best and so I Did Confront That One Day and I Said Hey That's Not Respectful That's Dishonoring to Me and Said I Need You to Not Do That. Are We Clear and She Said Yes and Then Just across the Room. I Sent Something for Her to Do Next. And I Mean She Made When Kids Were Sitting There in between and They All Went out and I Went Excuse Me, Hannah's Hand Again Has Been Great. I Think Hannah Is like to Become a Professional, I Will Become Even Better and so Were Rolling on the Floor Benefits As We Laugh and As We All Calm down. I Said Yes and It Was It Was an Automatic Reflex Went Back at It We Do Our Bible Time When the Kids Were Teens and There Are Times That They Were Moody. There Were Times That Things Hadn't Gone the Way That They Wanted to and so It Was like You Know What This Is What We Do. But She Says This Is What Pharaoh Stated This Is What Wells Do and Every Day We Do Bible Time. So Come and They Will Come and It Will Be Mopey in Whatever and Then Pretty Soon for the Little Kids Were Doing These Corny Songs so That Yesterday's Events and They Roll Their Eyes Initially but You Know It, Then They Would Come into It and Pretty Soon It's like the Word of God Comes in and Used It for A Few Minutes in Your with Family with People That Love You and You Doing Something That's Consistent That This Is What We Do and This Is Consistent in Our Life. And I Put Time into Something As You Can Separate the Kids I Put Time and That Is a Priority Because It's Eternal Yes and so If I'm Going to Introduce My Kids to Eat a Great Coach and a Good Teacher and You Know That Somebody Can Give Them Lessons in Whatever.
If I Don't Introduce Them to Jesus. I Have Not Set Them up for the Most Important Thing in the Whole Life, Which Is Their Eternity. And so We Put That Bear and My Kids. Now They Know They Now and They're All in Different States in Their Following God and I'm so Grateful Because When They Become an Adult. That's Their Choice and so the Fact That We Still Have That in Common Is It Is so Good. But Even with Those Teenagers Is like to Know What This Is What We Do You Live Here. This Is What We Do and I like Parent Who Is Never Done That before and They Have Teenagers, How Would They Be to Late 90s That We Deserve the Day Sunday and I'm in a Read This for Seven Minutes Later He Did Not Happen Sunday and Then Tomorrow Night and Read It Well Enough to Say Share Why You Guys Haven't Been Doing This I've I've Been Afraid That You Would Reject It, but This Is Important to Me and I Would Love This to Become a Habit for Our Family Because It Meant so Much to Me. And so I'd Love to Hear Your Thoughts. Even If You're Eating and after You're Done with Your Sunday and I Really Said Food Brings Kids There NLE so I Think That That's Really Why Was a Time When Were Reading a Chapter of the Bible Questions and so Then We Would Start Time, but Babel Is Not Thinking Why Did That Happen Was in on Something We Would Sometimes Ignore the Bible. Sometimes We Just Started Some Good Conversations and Then Other Things and Cannot, You're in a Place We Could Talking and so Then Some of the Teenagers so They Would Say Hey Can We Do This.
Can I Have That, Cannot You Know and Will Be like. I Don't Know How That's the Work I Might Not Have the Finances for, but What I Learned to Say Was That's a Really Good Question. How Could We Make That Happen.
How Can We Make That Work about It As a Family. While All the Time but They Would Just Come Forth of All These Ideas and They Either Start to Realize It Will Work or It Won't Work or Somebody Else Comes out with a New Idea All My Kids Had Different Interests and We Pursued Each of Those Interests in the Other Kids Came along and Followed and Watch We Did Things I Never Thought I Would Do Because Each One Had a Different Interest and We Found a Way to Make It Work. So How Can We Make This Work. When They Came to You and Said Mom Can We Do This, You Can Say No Known I've Been through Will Say Now like Will Be at the Grocery Store, You Know You Got Your Budget Drive through, You Know, and It's like Okay Work Today Would Menu the Garages Are Going to Get That and I Would Say Not Today, and Thanks for Asking and I like Oh Yeah and I Said That I Always Said It That Way Because I Wanted You to Task.
I Want You to Always Know It's Okay to Ask, Because You Can Always Ask God Anything. He's Okay with It and I Wanted to Give You That Opportunity Lies Opportunity for Kids to See Miracles Happen You Know Bill and I Got Married at 20, and Youth Pastors Don't Make A Lot Of Money There and Say We Start a Miracle Scrapbook. So When Things Came up in Our Family We Would Just like That, Let's See If God Thinks It's a Priority Mail Blessing Build You, Then God Will Make Away and We Saw so Many Miracles on That One Day My Youngest Son Says Mom Crazy Thing That I Single Part of the Reason Why Is Because We Pray We Pray about Everything. Allie's Ass like We Planned.
That Little Daily Bread with a Verse That Day.
I Pull out so That We Did That at Dinner and Then We Will Go around the Circle. How Can We Pray for You What's Going on Your Life As Well As Prayed As a Family and Then I Would Pray As They Went out the Door of Millerite Whoever Drove Them to School Would Pray over Them and I Was Involved in Moms in Prayer Ministry and They'll Ask Brought to His Graduation Week on Brock Want to Preach the Sermon Say Something That Your Parents Did Well and He Said Well You Gave Me a Dream Big Enough to Say Yes to God That Was a Whole Learner Leader Thing. The Second Is When I Was Going off Course You Disappoint Me and I Knew You Meant Cell You Know There's Something Wise to Keep in Your Word, His Parents, and the Last One Was All Prayers Were like This Force Field around Me. That Can Be from Sin, You Do Not Take Anything Else. Home Sweet Single Moms Just Print Your Kids, Your Heart Will Come through. They Will See That You Love Them and Let God Listen to You Now for Three Sessions to This Model for Us Decision after Decision Which Are Overlooked in Both Decisions. Single Mom Can Make. It's like Life Is Built One Choice One Decision at the Time and You Modeled That for Us, and so on.
Thinking Men.
This Is a Benefit Show for a Single Mom That It Has but It Is Inspiring for Everyone, Everyone.
Thank You. I Mean, What Model in I Would Say Make Get This Book That and Start Your New Life in the Blood Plan.
Single Moms Can Afford. So Last Week I Had a Precious Couple by a Case They Want to Give Everything Will Never Meet.
You Know in the Next Year's Church Did That Very Interested Single Small Group and Working to Get You This, but in Fact You Do Your Bible Study. Do You Need Something Fixed Gear How Your Card Be the Hands and Feet of Jesus Picture.
Thanks for Being with Us.
Thanks. Things Are Happening and You Thanks for Making Your Mom Proud. I Mom Is Right There Is a She Was Well Grounded for What You Know That on Our website@family.today.com. We got a link to the life of a single mom website. It's full of resources. Articles help for single moms go to family life today.com and the link is available.
There again. I hope you have been thinking this week as Dave and I will sum up, in talking with Peggy Sue Wells and Pam Farrell about single moms.
I hope you been thinking about single moms.
You know, single moms, you could reach out to single mom she could help you could support this week were giving away copies of the book to Peggy Sue and Pam have written called the 10 best decisions a single mom could make were making that available to anyone who can make a donation of any amount to help support the ongoing work of family life today. Our goal of family life is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We want to see every home be a godly home no matter what the condition of the home is.
Today we want to move it in a direction toward Jesus, and you help accelerate that goal. When you donate to support the work of family life.
You become a partner with us in effectively developing godly marriages and families. When you make a donation today would love to send you upon your request a copy of the book, the 10 best decisions a single mom can make for yourself or to pass on to a single mom, you know, go to family life today.com to donate or call one 800 FL today to donate again.
The website is family life today.com you can call donate at one 803 586-329-1800 F as in family goal, as in life, and the word today. David Robbins was the person family life is here with us today. David we were talking about every home becoming a godly home were not talking about homes becoming perfect homes goes, there is no such thing right that's right Bob, I remember the evening that Meg and I were asked to consider this job of family life president. I remember Meg's first response to the board member that was asking as well as you would not be asking us to do this if you are with us today. She was right and we had a really hard day as a family and his response was well sexy precisely while rescues because you're willing to be honest with the realness of life and in plunging your weaknesses into God's grace in a godly home isn't a perfect home.
It's a home that is often repenting and continually surrendering to God.
God does not call us to perfection. He calls us to depend upon him. One of our favorite sayings in our home is of dependence is the goal.
Weaknesses actually in advantage because we experience our weakness all the time God has called us to depend radically upon the people defined by grace assumes we don't have it all together. We don't bring that much to the table and we get to plunge our weaknesses and him and be refined and restored by him and be a people that you trust in God in our homes and that's what it is to be a godly home and even the weakest moments we can know okay God I get to come to you again and depend upon the revenue in your mercies are new every morning.
It's a great promise. Thank you David well I hope our listers, Jim. The join us again tomorrow to talk about the confusing world of dating in the 21st century. I mean it's a minefield.
When you think about trying to date people. How do you think about that biblically portrait that look like Jonathan precludes can be with us tomorrow to talk about that.
I hope you can be back with us as well on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson.
I am Bob Payne. We will see you tomorrow for another traditional family life today helping you pursue the relationships that matter most