Put On the Good

So what you think when I walk out of the bedroom when were going out for the evening and I'm wearing like a pink sweater or a turquoise parish shorts get out just the hottest thing I could find my Italianate good in anything you live a truthful and full it a lot but I would be thinking to family life to help you pursue the relationship that matter most and will send Dave Wilson and you can find us@familylifetoday.com or on our family life. This is family life today said many times are are you wearing that is your way of saying go back because it finds him better. How you said that many times and you know what your right every time I just go right back in turquoise paint have their way among the crew. Do I like of the cruise to listen to a message today from the family life love like you made it virtual crews from last year where we could go out on the water because a covert so we did a virtual cruise which thousands of people watch from their homes and by the way, I guess it is right here right now were going on the water next year.

Yeah, 22, February 16, the 13th back on the love like you made a cruise you can sign up right now.

Family life today.com and get a rate that you can't beat so do it right now, but this message was given by Ray and Robin McKelvey who are our good friends they been on our family life speaker team, which means they been speak at the weekender remembers for over 25 years, they get 10 kids that he's a graduate of Dallas seminary. They plan a couple churches. They now live in Nashville and they give this great message about putting off things and it's really from Colossians 3 were Paul talks about sort of our close we put off that was so good and super practical to do because they talked about Paul saying put off anger and wrath, malice, slander, obscene talk and lying that's kind of where they've come from and then that was so helpful and practical. But today working to talk about what should we put on in replacement of those things and what is that look like.

In other words, go take off those turquoise paint but we take off but what should be put on so many times in our marriages. We just want to know what I need to stop just give me a list of what I shouldn't do that, that's only half the story.

I love the fact that there are things that we are to put on this right just like you every day and you click to your toothbrush so you brush the green and then some people every way there go people smell of fresh well in the same way God tells us to put on some things and he tells us to do that so we can be salt and light in this very people are looking for a good flavored meal and they're looking for clarity. So if you can see salt and light. God has those things all packaged up in the close that he wants us to put what courage you give attention to what you put on now I don't know this bothered problem doctors never really said about this in 33 years, but I'm really particular about what I put on especially like getting dressed for church and I going to church. I want to make sure that my socks match that my shoes match that I have brown mice you have brown in my shirt or something I don't.

I'm more particular about the way I dress and well in smell so we want you to be particular about your trip.

How is it that you don't. We know what to take off and we all struggle with anger and what we say. But the first thing we want to put on his compassion and I thought about this whole idea of what it means to have sympathy, that's what this is. This is the work, compassion is the idea that we are to have empathy if my spouse is hurting should be rejoicing this Christmas we were surprising. Our kids with getting a puppy.

I know we have a lot of animal lovers there so saying that I love animals. Robin loves children, but she doesn't have as much tolerance for animal so they been begging for a puppy for years so Robin I went to her this Christmas and she said yes to getting a puppy. I was totally shocked. We found border doodle hadn't come home yet so we just had a picture of this puppy that we had put on the television so the kids could see it now. We had a lot of our all our kids were home just about all the kids were home for Christmas and all the grandkids so we rushed into our den to say surprise to our two youngest who have been asking for puppy when we did that Robin was not in the room just you got a get the feeling of this she really sacrificed a lot to say yes to a puppy that she really wanted to be there in the unveiling of the surprise, but all of the chaos she was not in there and it already been unveiled in all the excitement had been hadn't she walked in and she was hurt, so she walked out and shipped teeters now when that happened. I can tell you my heart I felt like I had been the one who missed out. I felt like I was the one who was gut punched I could even sleep well that night and I remember the next morning when I said to Robin I am so sorry that happened.

I begin to weep myself.

That's compassion and that's what were put on if your spouse is hurting. If your spouse is struggling is not just them. It's us as a way to put on compassion is the ability to feel somewhat like compassion. The next thing that God asked us to put on his kindness and in kindness is nothing but benevolence in action. It's how you speak to somebody how you treat action. Kindness is very important and a lot of times we don't know how to be kind because we haven't had anybody come alongside us to teach us things that you can do is you can ask the Lord and he will teach you kindness. Kindness is something that you do.

It's an action is not just something you put on is something that you try over and over and over. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Kindness is very important. I'm thinking about the world in which we live very kind to each other. I kindness is that ability not only to have compassion but it's seeing someone that may not be seen.

It I know this sounds simple but sometimes I had to say to people. I see you I see you and just having that the kindness to recognize a person that is Robin said it's it's an action it's it's in what you say what you do and I think it leads to this next one, which is the idea of humility. Humility is not putting yourself down. I think biblical humility takes place in two ways. One, there is a humility that we have before God we humble ourselves before God is an attitude.

Think you are first in my life I humble myself before you. I bow before you, and in this passage I believe it's talking about that type of humility when you recognize who God is good. It makes me treat my wife in a different way because I recognize how great God is and my position before him that I'm going to treat Robin put her before myself. I'm going to want to seek her needs before I seek my own in this next word is very very close to it is the word meekness and the like cousins. I don't get both of these on your baby not just keep meekness here, meekness is also recognizing who you are, but choosing to humble yourself. This power under control. I'm sure some of you have heard that before. It's like walking a humongous dog that is not running away from you.

I think people walk their dogs and icing dogs walked her people so meekness is that humongous dog who is under control and so were put on meekness you you're not always pushing for your rights, not always pushing for your way but you preferring your spouse above yourself and meekness you will serve your spouse differently your service to your spouse is different and the world will take no and so another thing I was. I didn't get this word when you look in Scripture and you see it over and over, and I'm still working on this my life, but it's important that you put on patients and patients is just self-restraint self-restraint. It's every time I go to Chick-fil-A to pick up Charlie tell me to get off at seven and I'm there at seven. Waiting. Waiting.

Waiting. You know, and they don't realize that my time is important.

So, my lord, what can I do it this time.

So that's my time to memorize Scripture to do something so that when that child gets in the car, I can encourage them.

Patients is waiting with restraint and we have to realize we need to have patience with our spouses because we're working progress we would not were not done were not finished were not cool. We should be and were not who we will be who we can be so we need to have that patients with one that's right because the next thing that the Lord tells us to put on is to bear with one another, bearing with one another and that means it and this is it doesn't just mean I put out with you because I got stuck with you, bearing with its with all of these other teams with humility, with the kindness of compassion, but you planning with that person because you know that they are God's child, and because their God shall serve them with all my heart, I will make sure that when I bear up under them, helping them to be able to be all the gods call them to be, well, so we've got compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patients bearing with one another. Here's a big I would say most people struggle with this one a lot is the idea of forgiving each other. The Bible is so clear about that II need to wear this one around all day long and me to it. And forgiveness is the idea of releasing someone from a debt is the idea of releasing I feel like you owe me this, but I forgive you. You you are indebted to me but I release you from and I don't remember who said it, but great marriages are made up of great for givers and I tell you fellow cruisers.

We get to practice this all the time. I remember after I apologized for Robin missing out on the unveiling of this puppy.

She didn't say the words I forgive you, but I knew she did because she didn't hold it over my head. She didn't say will I could tell by your attitude that you have forgiven me. She didn't hold onto it. We were able to go and enjoy the rest of the day is an attitude of letting go, but I can tell you if you're struggling with humility and kindness and meekness and patience. You're not going to be a forgiving person, but the Bible was telling us put this on left this garment. Let this be a badge to you that you are forgiving. Even if you have a complaint about your spouse to be able to freely forgive and I think some of us may need to ask our spouses migrate forgive her good forgive her because you the person that you have the most problems with is your spouse, and if you don't go seek forgiveness and I think that's something that we forget to do. We need to: see also grant if were not good for givers we have messed marriages in the world is seeking they want to see what this love this unconditional love really looks like Robin Hood on something really good and I suspect that our marriage is not just for us. People are watching.

We represent him.

We represent Christ. We are a living illustration of what God's relationship to his people were clear that living illustration to the world and have as a husband and wife. If we can't forgive each other and I know there's some hotel you were able to sit across our dinner table and we were able to share some of the things I know that there are some really significant herself. There I can tell you from experience there is something freeing that frees you when you free your spouse. In this passage tells us what wraps it all up. It should all be done in love. And Mrs. that sacrificial love.

This is not a is not the world kind of love that says well I love you when I feel like it or if I have these good feelings about you then I love you know this is a costly love is a love that will lay down and die for the other person is a love that will deny myself. I will deny what I like is my own rights when I feel like I should get I can deny myself of those things I can bear up under. I can be patient. I can be humble. I can be all those things because of love, mainly because I know God loves me.

That way, this is a supernatural yes this is something you are able to do by yourself. But if you understand the love that God has passed for you that he gave his son to die for you even when you weren't seeing even when you are doing all those things I just took off and he is coming to wear that God sent his son to die for us and so it's important that if you know he'll and you have a relationship with your spouse and you want your spouse to show off God's love.

You can't do this it supernatural and the only way you can do this is you lay your life down before Christ every day and that is so true when you put your feet on the floor in the morning.

Just pray God may I put on the garment of love greater love has no man than this, that a man lays down his life for his friends. Just one of my favorite passages as Romans chapter 12 we know Paul will will miss Apollo Colossians call Ephesians, any road other.

It's almost some of the same things he's putting in here because he wants us to get this but he says in Romans 12 nine. He says that love be genuine. Hee hee. Once your love not to be Frankie you want your love to be genuine and he said hate what is evil, and then hold to what is good and the only way you can do that is the supernatural love that the Lord puts on you every day and I love the fact that Robin is using the word supernatural because you can't do this in your own strength because I can tell you when you try to muster it up. I'm gonna do this. This is almost like making a New Year's resolution you can't live this way without God straight so we dethrone ourselves cast aside Dido ourselves and we say Lord I need your help. I need your strength.

I want to put off anger. I put off the wrath I put away malice, I put away slander obscene talk, I put away lying. I don't want to treat my spouse and that way I need your help to put this away need to put on. You need to put on compassion, yes, and kindness in talking to me in writing.

These are things that we have to put on.

We need to put on humility and meet us and patience.

Lord we need to put on base has bearing with one another.

It attitude of being long-suffering you you bear up under that bear with one another and then forgive each other and that I think that's one of the things that you can do to make sure your own light shine. If you learn how to forgive then your light shines because you don't have all of this stuff that is harboring in your heart, your heart is free and let me tell you this cruise family. Don't wait for your spouse to do this I can tell you many a spouse has been one over because one spouse decided this is the way I saw when I encourage you to put on love is the garment and I do have Robin pray for us to pray for you that we can all experience this together. Thank you so much for first being who you are we thinking that you are God and you know everything you've created everything and thinking that we get the privilege of being your hands and feet hereunder. So far I have one thing that I would pray for every couple out there. Everyone who's hearing what we just share that are light so shine before me that they would see our good works and bring glory to you, and that's our prayer in Jesus name, listening to pray and Robin McKelvey and I always love their teaching love their hearts. I love their passion for marriage yeah tell you as they get into. Paul wrote his you know this is what you put off this is what you put on and integrate Jeff saying we can't do it.

Apart from the supernatural love and power of God, and that's really what has to happen.

I think every day in a husband and a wife and a marriage is a daily surrenders I got. I can't do this in my own strength and if I try am just going to keep failing.

But if I surrender to you and allow your power. Your Holy Spirit to give me power.

I can be the husband I can be the wife you called me to be apart from him. We can do.

We can't put on any of this when you think I need time thing I want to hear the rest of this conversation from David and Wilson talking today about putting on kindness and humility and compassion and gentleness and patience. These are I think of these as additional fruit of the spirit things that need to be true about us as followers of Christ and need to be true in our marriage Ray and Robin presented this message on the 2021 love like you mean it.

Virtual cruise you guys know that we were not able to go out cruising in February this year as we've done for the last decade plus, but come 2021, Lord willing. We are to be back on the boat and of the boat is starting to fill up it.

If you are interested in joining us on the lovely commute marriage cruise in 2022. This is a great week to call and secure your cabin. In fact, we've got going on right now what were calling the back to cruising sale it ends on Monday so if you're at all interested in being a part of the love like you mean a marriage cruise in 2022.

Call us at one 800 FL today.

Find out more. We can answer any questions you have. There is information available online@familylifetoa.com again the love like you mean it marriage cruise Valentines week of 2022. Today is the day to sign up and secure your cabin for the cruise. It's starting to fill up the last 12 cruises we don't have all been sold out, so get in touch with us. One 800, FL, today is the number or you can get more information online. The family life to.com. By the way, if you think a man we would love to go on that cruise.

I wish there was some way we could go for free, well for someone that's going to be the case because some family life today. Listener is going to be joining us on the love like you mean a marriage cruise in 2022. As our guests. As you know, our commitment here at family life is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. That's what the lovely commute marriage cruise is really all about helping you strengthen your marriage and our team is just put together something called the love you better plan 30 days to loving your spouse better. This is a free download again.

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Tomorrow we're going to explore how important it is for husbands and wives to peel back some of the veneer. Some of the layers that can separate us from one another to get real honest with each other and maybe expose some of the hidden parts of our lives with each other. David Meg Robbins will talk about that tomorrow. Hope you can be here for that on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson on Bob Payne. See you next time for another edition of family life today. Family life to the production of family life accrue ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most