Speaking Life to Our Spouses

What you wish you would've known before our wedding day about marriage and that it would be there be time to be so frustrated and marriage so hard and you can expect that no I would say I wish I hadn't known my feelings come and go but that's not all. And that's okay.

Welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most and Wilson and Dave Wilson and you can find this@familylifetoday.com or on our family life. This is family life today while you know the fun thing is today we get to talk about marriage is our passion is out of fashion to help married couples and talk about this just sort of a Wilsons from the heart to because we both been frustrated that we were never taught these things. We were never taught God's word about why we get married and we have all the schooling and training for years of how to have a vocation. How many years did you have learning how to. Then I went to a we can remember conference great though it was awesome and I actually thought it can't be anything like what they said and it was exactly what family life teaches out now. We now teach. So let's talk about marriage.

We get to help people and say okay here's some things I was at a known. The first thing is this you nosy think about marriage. It's awesome and wonderful financing, credible, and a truly difficult family. I remember going to New York City with you.

We drove from Michigan and for this vacation never really had any time in Manhattan with the Broadway shows.

I made a member. The food was great. Everything was amazing. And then we have moments in our marriage that were really really hard to say we drove to see Cody play football at Northern Illinois and on the way back to the airport you call me a jerk and here's the thing you are nervous you are kind of anxious about how he was in a play you are mean and short with me all day and we have to do on Mary's message at church the next day. Next morning I was so upset that I looked at you and I know that were never supposed to do this you're supposed to say I feel really frustrated.

They didn't like that. That day I said you have been the biggest jerk. This entire day there was a great moment in our marriage.

We got up to speak.

The next morning. We are still in a fight.

Yes, I tell you what.

Here's what one talk about today.

It sorta relates to that story and it's it's this truth every couple has a power in their marriage and this isn't just marriage. This is an any family or church any relationship there's a power in our hands for good or for evil, and it's extremely powerful.

It's a weapon that we carry and no one seems to talk about it that only we had no idea how important this would be to read your verse in Proverbs 18 and you will see this power is powerful. Proverbs 18.

Solomon wrote this.

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. It's amazing to break this this verse down you get our words, the tongue.

Our words have power. Power means the. The ability to change for good or bad. Whenever we speak. It is the power of life, which is the buildup to encourage to a firm that has the power of death, which is the teardown to discourage to critique and then it says, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

In other words, those who understand the power that they have in their words and their tongue will benefit.

They'll be very very careful about how they use their words.

It's interesting. I remember asking our kids. I think they were in high school and middle school and I asked them this question of what kind of words do we most often speak in our house are they words of life, or are they worried to death that, by the way, that's a great question as your kids and I'm telling you all of our kids had a different answer and it was super convicting to me because they were not positive they said my dad's word for life from mom that it's a it's a mixture. Yeah.

And I've really had to learn this over the years because growing up we all grow up in different homes and we just throw out words. We can be flippant with our words. We can accuse one another. We can call each other names and I was not careful with my words.

When we got married.

I feel like I really hurt you. I continually nagged you. I was continually critiquing you. I can call you names. No, but I still I think my words were death to you. So often we all do that that the different times I remember, though, you learned me. We both learned the power of life words they encourage, they build up their Magnet people want to be around people who speak life people run away from people who speak death right and sell highways on this nation like Lord Jesus. First of all, the power doesn't come from me just mustering up because that last for about an hour at the power comes from the Holy Spirit living and abiding within us. And so I was praying. Father God. One of the fruit of the spirit that you talk about is self-control. So help me to control my words and what I also realized what it was beginning my head. My words weren't just coming out of nowhere. They were coming up with what I had already stored up in my head and my thoughts about you and so then they just flowed out and so I was on this mission like Lord help me first about just to stop before I speak and think through what I'm about to say good practice, but even that takes self-control and so you will remember this and we shared this before, and in our book vertical marriage that I had said he came home from a long day of preaching and he had been with the Lions on the sideline. You are exhausted and you were complaining that you'd been getting critique about your message and preaching and cellulite getting all these critiques and people seem to not like my preaching right now you are kinda going on in. I almost said this.

It was right on the tip of my tongue and I almost said looking to spend more time in the words your messages would probably be way better that I didn't. I never heard that I didn't say that which think about this you guys. What would been like if I were to send that to you stated this was 11 o'clock at night. By the way yeah yeah and so I pray as soon as you say that Mike lurched. I say that an answer is no, you should not say that. And so then my next question is Lord, should I say anything even sometimes it's better to say nothing and something bad so large I say anything in this thought popped into my head and I said to you in I can add in what it's like for you, you have the weight of thousands of people's spiritual lives in your hand and you we feel responsible for so many of us that's a heavy burden to carry. Remember you saying that and a member I just pulled you close and said you are my life. Yeah, and again in that moment, I didn't realize you were speaking words of life, but I do remember feeling like you're my partner you understand. You believe in me. You trust me again of looking back at what Solomon said you spoke powerful words of life that the only feeling I had that moment was your my life. I can't go through life without you when you pulled me to yourself and you just whispered that in my ear. You are my life. I mean I was tearing that night because I thought what the thing devastated you and it would created partisan between us and so I thought it made me realize I have so much power. I need to be careful and wheeled it carefully and here's an amazing thing. What was a result the next day in the next week. I'm in the word study and the preach better and you never said that but because you spoke life. It was motivating to me to say you know I want to I want to step up and be better. That's what life words do they motivate, they encourage they lift up and so here's here's a truth for every couple write this down seriously.

Write this down if you're in your car that will ever put it in your phone. I don't care where you put it, but this is just a simple truth based on the power of our tongue interrelationships and intermarriage and is just the simple truth. Happy or healthy couples choose to speak life to their spouse