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June 1, 2021 9:00 pm
It's easy to want to run away from things that we face in our grief, but Levi and Jennie Lusko contend that, with God's help, walking into what seems so scary can produce the greatest healing.
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Okay so you and your mom had an interesting ritual every Sunday. Tell us about it. We will go to church. We drive the cemetery. We look at my brother's grave. Welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most and Wilson and Andre Wilson and you can find this@familyliketoday.com or on our family life app.
This is family life today every Sunday, much as I can remember every Sunday will bring you the first time, you know, 10, 11, he was. I was seven when he died and you know my my mama never divorced in the yeah me. I can see myself then and right there right now looking down at his grave, and it was a weird feeling because you're like he's not there. My mom's Cryan I'm sort in the Nile but you know feeling pain as a young young boy, I didn't understand it and I just thought God had avoided her, left her family and he took away her best friend, definitely.
And so today we get to talk to couple parents who have lost a daughter wrote a book called through the eyes of a lion, Levi, and Jenny Lesko back you guys to think ravenously great walking through this journey with you. Your books and a powerful resource their pastors a fresh life church out in Montana and authors of all kinds of books when I get into all the other books right now.
We could have you back and talk about all kinds of stuff. Let's talk a little bit you know we spent the last couple times talking about your journey to be pastors start fresh life and in the death of your daughter when she was five years old but talk about where God is in those moments because you know she just heard a little bit of my story and I'm seven years old I lose my little brother and them exit my parents got divorced and then I lost my brother just all about a six month period and God leukemia and within six a weeks was just gone and with my mom is now single mom and you know I'm a little boy and I pretty much turn away from God. Thinking you know if that's who God is. Mom and dad divorced brother dies he must not care. He must not be here obviously years later I have a totally different perspective on that, but that's where I was at the mall and let you know I watch my mom struggle for years. You know, but at the same time she never lost her faith. She really held onto a strong faith. I got wrong there actually an accident because she was desperate for God. She needed him yeah and yet you know for me as a brother but for my mom and my dad's parents all man your spouse to die before your kids, you know, it's just sort of the way it's supposed to go and that didn't happen.
You been there you are there so talk about you know your perspective or help people understand God didn't leave God's right there but it's dark in its devastating loss. How do you have a theology of suffering in growing in the suffering when bad things like this happen. Yeah, we've always had a very big robust God in our theology, not a small God, whose you sit up there in heaven wringing his hands worried about what's happening in Iran are you stressed out about global warming them. You think God cares about our universe. God cares about our world. He obviously entered into it in the person of Jesus to show improved forever that he cares. I believe got to redeem and renew all things including the world, so that means that in the world matters the world matters we should care for and conserve and care for animals and all those sorts of things, but to God in a big God who is sovereign and knows the end from the beginning and speaks and stars are created and you know is triumphant and is resurrected and it's always defeated death, and so our sin of life is informed by God and not vice versa. So, you know, we don't look at life in pain and challenge and then determine our theology. We start with who God is and then ICW toes are says you know what a man thinks of when he thinks God is most bored thing about them so that big God, then we then look through this that lends to this life and I think it's really important because it will allow you to believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts. Otherwise, God is constantly on trial and every day he's having to do the song and dance to prove to you he's still a good got out and uses why you should still follow me know that saw us when Christ rose after having paid for our sins and the cross and then ascended into heaven and sent his spirit to the world to be given to his followers as the down payment of eternal glory as a down payment of a brand-new body of life without sin. As far as I'm concerned, the trial ended, he's God, he's king like Doug Peter said to them, in John six. You will not have eternal life.
You also get to go to work, who also offers what you have and so for us. I think that doesn't make it easy to hurt the does make it easy to suffer. We stand our daughter's grave like you did growing up in the know. It touched as I hear your story, because I think about my daughter who is seven, you know, when she lost her best friend and our other kids, but does make it the bad stuff go away but it what it does do is it changes the conclusions you come to see the same data we see the same reality but you just know this at the end of the story you know that there's also glory there's all you know. Like Paul said this great weight of suffering, it becomes of like a small and insignificant thing. When I compare it to the weight of glory, and so I think that's kind of what's factored into us.
Looking at these things a little bit differently than maybe we would've if there wasn't a big God in our story talk about your girls. Dave didn't have his. He didn't have a mom. She was grieving so much and his dad was gone that no one talked to him about it. Talk about how you address this, tear girls yeah how did you approach this and you probably still talking about it at times yeah of howling even more so now than ever.
I mean even talking with Olivia. Now she's 15 but she says that she doesn't remember a lot from that time, like she had little moments and glimpses and far-off like memories one and so grateful for is like I didn't grow up in a house that even talked about having very much that heading in our home.
It's just the place. Erlang is it's like Disneyland is like Hawaii, it's like it's it's real place in my sisters there. So all of our kids even Linux, you never got to know her meet her there moments where he says I yeah and Pat is so sweet because we get to talk about why Linda went ranging in heaven right now or I wish he could face time her life. I it's just so much part of who we are as a family and are very vegan and how hot that it it's hard anything. It's hard for each of them in different ways because Lydia did lose her best friend.
And even now she has friends who have really close sisters and she's 15 and Daisy's cancer. There's a little bit of a gap in between Van and says she sees and she sees her friends to two years apart being best friends like now she's grieving in different ways because she she realizes I'm missing that with writing, whereas for Daisy and clove are they retail and wine said they they yeah but I don't remember her and said they've been getting a lot of grieving on the other side now white as they prone that they realized I didn't know tell me about her clover will dissent map and start crying saying I wish I'd known mining sites pretty much a constant conversation of happen and ran yeah and I'm so thankful we have so many videos and so many pictures so even there. There will be nights where will just watch me call it language TV and said the kids get to see lagniappe playing in singing in the winter as a church. Psalm 23 and before lending it to having an cell lady and lagniappe both memorized Psalm 23, and in her little video that we have planned her celebration of life. She's literally saying as a three-year-old Psalm 23 and sometimes he is very huge in our home to you and I say it still lacks all the time and I printed Abaddon just that idea as though I walk through the valley for first of all, the Lord is my shepherd and that changes everything. If you believe that the Lord is your shepherd and you know that he's taking care of you, and you can eat anything to provide free and you can lead year and he cares for you. He loves you. Later on when it says, though I walk through the valley of the shadow that dad, I will fear no evil for you are with me your rod and your staff they comfort me and sell that's part of our journey as with God being our shoppers are going to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, that it's the shadow of death, and so we know that he is with us and that we don't have to be afraid and sell all these things and even as we left at God's word as as our comfort and as our as the light, as we take steps of faith and the word is a lamp trophy and I trust that the lot has changed everything for Resthaven is reteaching the girls the kids Linux. The word is like that changes everything. It gives us hope and strength and power to face at all. Yeah, you know, one of the powerful concepts in the book that I've stolen Levi as a preacher and plagiarized in taught your your console you gave them credit. I always discomfort of the first time the next time you say someone wants 1/3 time you say is I always said I want to hear you dog what I read what you wrote about. I called round of the roar put the whole concept explained that because the head she and you just talk about. You do it in your home.
So explain what that means. I don't know if I'm yeah right for a run of the second to last chapter. That idea is the way lines hunt, they scare pray into the trap.
Mel Lyons don't actually do much for hunting knows all the lionesses it's like in real life with insignificant things, and the male lion will roar and scare the gazelle away from him and the gazelle of course wants to get away from the roar. So it goes the opposite direction. But then the lionesses are hunting in the grass below and so when he runs next, the running towards danger, not away from it so it would be counterintuitive, but the best thing to do would be to run towards the roar to run towards his fear and not into a trap and the point I make in the book is that when we let our fears control us and we do what we were worth we run away from scary things were actually moving towards danger or not away from it.
So the point is in grief sometimes you tend you for us. I know to been very tempting to box up all her stuff never go there.
Never talk about it, you know, just put it out of sight. And you know just never really bring it up but we kinda said hey like worst not to live with a ball.
These mementos are to be scary for us and things that are to trigger the grid to go through it really feel it. I understand people who maybe would easily turn to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain of grief. It would be very tempting to go get a prescription and does not feel any of this but we just had a conviction they listen really feel this really feel it all really just plunge into this and if it kills us in fine but Elise rocket have to live a life of fear and what we found was that by triggering all the minefields there will eventually want to many more minefields to blow up and we just we we did together. We ran through together we we had good counsel people from our church and our community and if something was scary to us. We just ran headlong into it. The call me. Obviously, there still things surprising grease the pop up there more few and far between what I say.
The book is that I felt God calling me not to write up a manual for grieving but a manifesto for a different kind of living like I guess I was why was the grief book that I could find on the shelf and so I rode it was a book I wanted to read to tell me not just here's how you can get through it and offer me a Kleenex, but to say like you can click over some apple carts and watch God do something great in the midst of your greatest fears examples that you say in the book was when Ling's clothes were brought to you from the hospital and you had at first she had a tendency like let's not look at those what happened yeah well it was kind of what is likely they mention one of the landmines or is like okay this is gonna hurt and this is can it be hard to even want to go there and I think that kind of became a yes were going to go there because were going to work and allow ourselves to feel it working. A lack the grief just kinda punch us in the chest rates were in a let it knock the air out of us and never can it get up and bargaining keep walking and so that was so horrible because any leak just received all the things that the close she was wearing that night.
The pants that were cut off of her that the socks that she wore that weren't even hers.
They were one-year-old sisters because he loves squeezing into her clothes like it was we were weeping.
There we opened that we were weeping but we we let it hit us.
We let we let it do its damage in the heart ache and that taken everything and then we can keep that meaning I'm think we kept the socks for clover because they were rightfully hers and then week three way the pants that were read like we just we went through it and then we say the things we need to and then we moved on and even she was five and she was always changing her clothes so I months after I would be cleaning out the closet and find her pants in her shirt because she had changed in her snow white drive pantry or something like little sweet treasures because is like no signs of a line you but it would cause me to just take a moment and we and then I'll put it in the wash and said, be ready for Daisy to wear it like it was just like we felt that we felt everything hurts so much. But then we were able to take the next I don't know it's not really it wasn't really a formula is as much now looking back it was like oh yeah that makes sense because now we feel so cool thing. I still vary from people who are going through unrelated briefs telling us how it can became an anthem for them in a variety will therapy or whatever like that it run toward the work really hard thing. It's become something that has surprised us, and how God used it yet it is so healthy because I'm sitting here thinking.
My family did the opposite. It wasn't too hard. We never talked about Craig just didn't bring it up as you know is painful so I don't remember a conversation and then you know never even talked about the divorce. You know, with my mom and dad again. I'm a little boy and going through this trauma, but it's also that alcohol is prevalent and so they went into just covered it all out today Alberta United and other forget when they enter our first year marriage. My dad comes to visit us in the breast goes the chaplain for the Nebraska corn huskers so were out there and start your ministry first. Your married dad has dinner with us and you know my dad was an airline pilot. I saw maybe two or three times a year, you know, we didn't have a very close relationship so he we said that after dinner. I'll never forget this and he sits down and Andrew beside me on the couch and she goes hey so Dave, that's my dad's name Dave tell me your perspective on the divorce I want to hear your side and I'm literally like grabbing her like we'll talk about this.
This is not allowed in our family.
I said I known Dave's mom and Denise for years I've heard her story, but I'm sure there's a side to your story.
I love to know who you are and what had stopped talking for your permission he liked at us like I'm allowed to talk. He said you're the first person that has ever asked for my site was so interesting because it was the first time.
Dave really got to know your dad was that the tools ready to handle the things you have given about his parents either so as well. The thing I thought had to be so difficult was when the hospital called you and asked if he would be willing to have Ling's organs delete. It is hard on his payroll hard hard moments, but it all seemed like 10 minutes just got home the phone rang yet she still hooked up to the machines and all the sudden there's a window or they can pick and harvest and all and so you know they they called us and when I saw North Valley Hospital on the caller ID. I thought she must've set up my first thought. And so to be given that a surge of hope and then have it – when the person in all the hospital people were doing such a great job they said you know I'm so sorry there's no easy way to say this but can we know harvest referred for organ donation and it was really hard to hear that it buckled my knees you know but we both felt like this is a way that she can be used to help somebody else out. Give someone else hope and obviously is the metaphor of the book suggests, her eyes were able to be used for someone else in Berlin. It is actually a name in Russian. That means lion. Her nickname was Lenny lion and so it became super poetic corneas went to two blind people and we got word later that they got to see through horizon so there's two people somewhere in the world today that can see through my.our daughters eyes which is amazing.
We've heard story after story of people have named their Lotta little onions around in the world and even just this past week I received two letters at families Hill in your story and had a baby and named online yet and it's really really precious and so beautiful and that even for the eyes of Alina Lenny lion like knowing that there is little generation of these little annual liens that are being sent out into the religious just so self-conscious.
He said that your hearing from all these people that are using this even a chemo patient is there saying that there running toward the roar. How do we do that, what's that look like Jenny just said a moment ago. I think it's an anthem to do the hard things. Sadly, I think it's easy to run away from friction in adversity and in so doing, we often short-circuit our own development because we neglect the reality but most of the best things in life are introduced through seasons of difficulty and when we run away from that.
When we take the short-circuit when we take the easy way out. Whether that's alcoholic with your church or move it off.
You know whatever like there's so many things in life that are the chances to get offended Jesus a Blessed are those who are not offended on behalf of me, and I think one of the greatest, easiest ways to get offended is to get mad at God.
When something's hard God might just be handing you the opportunity of a lifetime. I mean, how easy would have been for Joseph to get offended when his fiancée was pregnant but God was giving him the opportunity and so many people.
David gets anointed as king and then immediately Saul starts throwing spears at a minute. The question will you throw the spears back again to keep sadly in your heart, and I think a lot of us miss chances to develop and to grow and to be used by God in significant ways because we don't run toward the roar we we give up, we throw in the towel.
The moment anything's challenging is a part of another theme you have in the book is his pain as a microphone is that we are trying to get out explained that the pain is a microphone comes from the idea that when God called Paul who was Saul who hated the church and tore down with his bare hands. When God sent Ananias to go pray for him. He said go tell him that he's gonna preach to kings and to the Gentiles in the nation of Israel and see how many things he must suffer for my namesake now. Those were two separate things. If you look at the book of acts.
Paul did do every single thing Paul preached to kings Gentiles in the nation of Israel along the way he suffered many think shipwreck stoning, speeding, betrayals, abandonments, bulb law, but if you took away the misery you also would take away the ministry. It was when he got bit by a snake shipwreck beaten lot about that he got to do all the things he did from chains in the jail cell with stripes on his back.
So I what I'm trying to say is all of us would love to have a life without pain.
That would be a life without power because God brings power indoor life often times smuggled inside of pain like the proverbial fork in our file in a cake and so pain is a microphone and the more it hurts a lot or you become. So when God allows you to be tried by many trials. Just know this, that suffering is not an obstacle to you being used by God so good. It's an opportunity to be used like never before. Thinking about Dave and I went to seminary, one of our classes was were taking classes on how to help counsel people and so whenever you do that what you do, you bring up all your old junk who became a counseling class for the therapy of sexual abuse in my past Dave about it and I thought you else in the past it's all done.
Jesus now has healed me in all that well not go to that class and I have never dealt with any of the emotion any of the trauma any of the pain and so I start going through this grieving process and this anger. I'm sounding every night. It's like I took this hand is wound and I took the bandage off and I was just bleeding out there came to visit me in California when we were going to school out there and I had never told her I had never told anyone in my family and I told my sister I'm going through that.
She's my best friend. She led me to Jesus and I said I went to this abuse, staff, and she goes what I said I know I've never told you you're my best friend that I was sexually abused and she's like so was I and so we both go through this healing process where it's exactly that. I would think that I have healed, I'm done, I'm good. I'm not grieving anymore, but then something would happen that would just trigger that feeling is almost like another Band-Aid came off and there was another exposing some like Lord. Really, I have to do this more and more and I think what happened is instead of running away as he said from the pain. I started taking it before Jesus and say large. Here's where I and this hurts. I thought this is over, but I see that there's more and in the process he keeps stealing my soul. He's bringing me back to life and my sister and I both later got together because we both started really dealing with it and letting God heal it and I started talking about it. I started sharing what God was doing in the healing process and what happened. It allows so many people to share their own story of pain and abuse. I and my sister and I got together I said you know I would go through it again in order to help all these women have been hiding in the living game and that's exactly what you're saying right into it seal you and let others share your pain and let them into it because God is all about taking our suffering, just as he did, and we can bring glory to God in it because as were on this earth.
It's not easy. Were all going to suffer. But if we can suffer and point each other back to Jesus. It's amazing what no one gets to not suffer so like the Bible says the rain falls on the righteous and the wicked. It's like believing Jesus suffered double images to suffer. But when you believe in Jesus and suffer you get to suffer and hope that I'd rather do that no more mail but I'd rather do that meeting yet. I would've never thought growing up in a broken home divorce parents and then went in and I got married in year 10. She told me done and God showed up. It's a whole other story. We wrote a book about it but I would've never thought those experiences. My life would point me to God's purpose for us.
The pain in our life pointed us to his purpose and the people that need the whole from that story just as you been connected to the people he printer met. I would've never connected those dots. It's like this pain is so nicely note God's like a minute I met you in it and now I want to use it to show you why you're on this planet that darkness is going to bring light to other people. Pain can become your platform. So thank you for not only writing the book, but letting people in. Because you know you're literally saving and helping millions. I would love it if you guys would pray for those that are just suffering there in it. You know they really struggling.
We pray for them absolutely. Thanks for having us on Jesus. We love you were grateful to stand on the cornerstone that our faith is built on us, Jesus, and we thank you for your an anchor for us both sure and steadfast, and I prefer every listener or person is suffering hurting your spirit. Even now would touch their hearts to some of your grace note. Your loving kindness leads us to repentance and we pray for people to even just right with AR to send you speaking to them through their headphones or through the speakers in the car, just the reality that they're not alone or seen or loved by you and the you have a plan to work everything this hard and challenging and painful into something.
This can bring you glory and bring us joy, and so were confident in that were grateful to be part of this thing called the church people who have been called out of the world to know you to be marked by your name that were not marked by the brand on our purse or shoes or jeans were marked by the name of Jesus that we could carry. When we leave this world will open our eyes and eternity and see you know you even as were known want answers all the questions possible us now, but between now and then in the already but not yet. We lean into the tension that we just say the Jesus you are enough so love you and thank you for this time. In Jesus name, amen.
Someone has said, we don't know what the future holds but we know the one who holds the future and that is where we find our rest and our comfort they will and will some talking today with Levi and Jenny Lesko.
Levi has written the story we've heard about today in a book called through the eyes of a lion facing impossible pain finding incredible power. We got that book available in our family life to the resource center, you can order it from us online@familylifeto.com or you can call one 800 FL today to get your copy again. The title of the book is through the eyes of a lion facing impossible pain finding incredible power by Levi Lesko family life to.com to order your copy or call 1-800-358-6329 that's one 800 F as in family L as in life and in the word today that many of you know that during the month of May we had a matching gift challenge that was made available to us here at family life and David Robbins was the president of family life is here with us to talk about that they but the gifts that we received as a ministry from our listeners during the month of May. These are to make a huge difference for us as a ministry going forward. That's right. I mean, I am so encouraged by the ability to minister to more families.
I heard from Susan in an email this month and she said I am struggling to stay afloat in the most challenging waters in my life I'm in a 34 year marriage, and it's been an unhealthy marriage with all that's going on in the world. However, their glimmers of hope for the first time in forever. Thanks for being a lifeline of hope and I just want to say your kind and generous contributions in May that that were matched in Abel's family life to keep bringing the lifeline of hope found in the gospel in the timeless truths of God's word to a growing number of families and I really am sincerely so grateful, as are we all thank you David for that and I want to thank her listers for being with us today. Tomorrow Dave and I will some of the talk about how important it is for us to measure our words are communication with one another in marriage. Our words can either build up or tear down will hear more about that tomorrow on behalf of our hosts Dave and Ann Wilson on Bob Lapine. We will see you back next time for another edition of family life today and we like today is a production of family life accrue ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most