Transatlantic Love Story

Love people wonder, how do you know if this is the right time to get married work.

This is the right person to marry Alister Beggs says, figuring that out was simple for him. I got married to Susan because I couldn't imagine living my life without her. I wanted her to be my friend and I wanted to become her dearest friend I wanted to become one wanted write letters to her anymore.

I couldn't handle it any longer. I wanted this is family like today Sir David and Wilson about mean you can find someone a family life today.com will hear today how a teenage boy from Scotland and a teenage girl from Michigan met and fell in love and will hear the shocking story of the first time Alister big kissed his wife to be welcome to family life today.

Thanks for joining us that there is something that you and I and our friend Alister big something we all have in common. In order this. We like the Cleveland Browns. I like the Cleveland Browns. Okay, not on my leaders.

The pastor in Cleveland is probably been in the dog pound you know yelling at the Detroit Lions. I don't know. Here is what I I was thinking of Alister and you and I have all quoted pop songs from the 60s and 70s pretty regularly in our preaching. I did know Alister had an old man he's pulling out the lyrics and Simon and Garfunkel lyrics. And oh yes is one of the reasons you love him.

This is now two times as I was at an event that and were bringing all of this up because were to share with our listers today portion of a conversation I had with Alister Bragg. Recently Alister is a pastor in suburban Cleveland. He's the voice that many of our listers here on the radio program truth for life, a wonderful Bible teacher but we were together and I I was doing one of my patented name that tune game shows. Nobody can be high.

I love doing this and I picked out some categories that I knew Alister would do well on and the final.

The final category final Jeopardy category was songs of Paul Simon and I knew he wouldn't nail that.

But the other contestant one that category instead of Alister. He was so mad he got his category. Anyway, I've had the opportunity over the last 10 years to introduce his daily program be the voice at the beginning and the end of the truth for life and I've had to make sure that I call that program truth for life and phone number for that program instead of family life today and we set down recently and I just ask him about his marriage about how he met his wife Susan, there is an excellent overlap with campus Crusade for Christ, which were a part of and it's a remarkable story and that's our listers will hear. I said this is not my business but when was the first time you kissed Susan and it's a little personal there but I was surprised by the intro think you'll be surprised by the answer to how did you wind up as a teenager in America in the summer. How did that happen. See my late father-in-law would say because you know I am a tenacious Scott that's that's the answer I remember is the story one but it was this American family I've never met an American family that that I met when I was 16 in suburban London that introduced me to Americans who were in the UK with campus Crusade for Christ and it was one of the girls of the American family that I sent my affection on and will break that's what you mean to her and you see her and you go wow and yeah yeah yeah this.

For 16 she was 3013 shouted that compute for you that your 16 inches but I never gave any thought that is all I never I never I never imagine anything really beyond the fact that I sat down to lunch at this table with invited to this American home and around the table were various people some friends and their people in the family and across from me. A girl and she had two lovely lovely eyes, and I just fascinated, captivated by this and the next day one of my friends and I went to Carnaby St. in London. We before we got the train to go back to leads and I got a postcard card machine I and I wrote to her and I said it was so wonderful to me to meet you and ask your mother if it's okay if I write letters to you, you were instantly smitten. Yeah it's from my life every so often I've had a dream that we never actually got married and I wake up in the worst condition possible until I suddenly realize know it's a dream stream were here know that was started so we we live 300 miles apart from one another and then one day without checking that guy for Chrysler. What you call in the famous one Iacocca Iacocca Iacocca without checking with me to the American family back to America and so I heads I had been the problem that it wasn't 300 miles between us was 3000 miles between us so I was very sad and there's more to that story my friend was friendly with her sister.

I called him on the phone. I said did you hear that they're not coming back. He said yes I said what are you going to do said what you mean what you want to do so when you going to do in the not coming back so well that say everything is nice is a live there. We live here. Let's move on my sin on not doing that is what you want. I said I'm going to America. It was like yes your your yet. Why do you visit Mars on the lakes and that when I put the phone down in my hallway and I said I will I will go to America on the that that this is this is not over. So I wrote letters for another year.

I named Vito the way to get to explode I 72 with campus Crusade, knowing that her folks had introduced me to campus Crusade and discovering that they were going to go to exploit as well. Taking this girl with and so after a gap of about 14 months.

I then made up with her in the Adolphus Hotel. This is where I was staying these campus Crusade guys and she can she can walk walking down the stairs. Now she's 16 years old. I haven't seen in 14 months and I suppose it could be and that she said hey hello in on the summer happened. But no, no, I got through that summer and then I said you know I'm a right under and write to you more and more, and I mean she was here.

The boys were here all the stuff was here. Everything was here all I had was up and no telephones, no faxes, no twitters, no, no, nothing that we had no nothing to talk and so that's how I ended up there and that's how I ended up back there and 75 because we just ran a postage is to say to get married but at that point she was only 20 you and you had crushes before her. Yeah, every time yeah yeah like yeah I mean always. But this you know this was this was different really are yeah well we found out after seven years of writing letters. It was the thing that made it different was it was like the beginning it was just a silly childhood stuff and we have all of our letters while all of our letters which we will have to go burn someday, but as it progresses. She said they realize this could get this at this guy actually could happen and this could happen. So I said you know you got to go about your life, you've got to go to your high school prom. You've got to do your thing, you people take you here to get there and I'm going to proceed like that as well because I'm not live as a monk in your number live is a non-you were dating. Yeah, I said we had to be as good and makes sense.

It would be it would be crazy. This is not this is not the way other people. My quiet but I said this is my this is what I will say to you, you are number one in my affections.

If you get moved off the top spot.

I will going to write you a letter I want to tell you that it's time I met Mary Lou and and I and she's filled up the page so much that it's only right to goodbye lighting us. We, Mary Lou M. So, that's right, you seekers that was Ricky Nelson.

Was it seekers the divorce and quite yeah and so I said then maybe you will go out in the same way and what happened was that her parents that suddenly realized although our dad was reluctant Chris and I had long hair and other things but but he realized that one of those very skinny website. They realize that I was actually that these letters that were coming from the Scottish boy were actually good for their and that any presumptuous way but but the influence that I was having even from a distance with the Lancers were proven to be significant because there were spiritual encouragement Helen exactly because I was encouraging her then to get involved. One of the guys who was in the who was in the Adolphus Hotel with me and by this time was married, himself, and I was encouraging her to get involved with his wife who was also campus Crusade girl, which was which was exactly what happened in on my shelf over the road. You know I have her part of her living Bible, which is all marked up as a result of the weekly visits with this girl.

Well, I don't want to take credit for that. But I suppose if my influence had been a different one, then it would necessarily have supported so at age 17, 18, when you conquered America when you came to know I was 20 or 20 2072 and you can with the idea that I'm going to come and work in the solidified this or just take it to the next level. Well, actually I said since he was 16. She once he was 70 because I was 20. It was it was that it was June 1972. No, I didn't know what it would be like.

I didn't know what what Chancellor was you know I have a dog stance and no chance but I certainly was even more resolved and we spend that entire week together in Dallas that I flew to Los Angeles with my campus Crusade buddies and then I had previously brokered a deal whereby the family's visit to Carthage shop on Lake Michigan would also include an invitation to me and so I was then in that environment. So, although we never we were never closer to one another than 300 miles during the whole seven years on the occasions that we were together you are in an environment where you could really take a measure of all of the person. So when I joke about the way in which somebody treats their sister or year for a girl watch the way the guy treats his sister watch the way he speaks to the mother that kind of thing. She had an opportunity to view that at least up until she left for America because my parent. Her parents came to check out my set up when they realize this. This fellow was writing letters to their daughter, which was good on their part right and so they really can essentially to vet us when when you arrived. If I remember this right on the shores of Lake Michigan. You begin to see there were other fellows who had interest in THIS WAS NOT JUST A A SIMPLE PROCESS OF I JUST NEED TO KEEP WRITING LETTERS AND THIS WILL ALL HAPPEN ON THE AFTER, AND I DEFINITELY WASN'T. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT SAID, I ACTUALLY MENTIONED AGAIN LAST NIGHT AND SAID YOU KNOW THAT THESE GUYS HAD MUSCLES AND PLACES THAT I DON'T HAVE PLACES AND IN OTHER FUNNY STORIES ABOUT IT, BUT THEY TRY TO TEACH ME HOW TO WATERSKI THE THEY HAD NO INTEREST IN WHETHER I COULD EVER GET OUT. THEY JUST ENJOYED THE PRIVILEGE OF HUMILIATING ME THAT THEY WERE SKIING. THEY THOSE GUYS WERE ALL THE GUYS THAT KICK THE SKI IN SKI IN THEIR BARE FEET. THEY WERE DRAGGING ME LIKE A DEAD DOG THROUGH THE WATER AND SEND AND SEE IF WAS WATCHING THIS, YOU KNOW, SO THIS YOU LOVE ME, YOU KNOW THAT I SEE. I DON'T KNOW IF SHE CAN STAND THIS BEDRAGGLED SCOTSMAN BEING DRAGGED THROUGH THE WATER AND STILL SAY YEAH I DIDN'T WANT TO STICK WITH THEM FOR ANOTHER THREE MONTHS YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S SOMETHING THERE THAT WHAT POINT DID YOU SAY WERE DONE WRITING LETTERS. THIS WEEK IT'S TIME TO QUALIFY WHILE I WAS I WAS SO FOOLISH AND NAÏVE ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT I BETTER TOLD HER THAT YOU KNOW WHEN I WAS 18.

YOU KNOW, IF WE KEEP THIS THING GOING.

YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO MARRY YOU IF YOU LET ME AND SO I THINK IN THE WINTER OF 73 THE CHRISTMAS OF 73. I HAVE AMERICA EXPO. YES, I CAME TO AMERICA AND I ACTUALLY SAT DOWN WITH HER DAD AND I SAID YOU KNOW THIS THING HERE IS THIS IS KILLING ME BECAUSE I LIVE AND DIE FOR THE LANCERS FROM YOUR DAUGHTER. I'M NOT MESSING AROUND SO I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS IS GOING TO WORK OUT BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT'S HOW SERIOUS I AM AND I WANT TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT. AND IF YOU'RE NOT OKAY WITH YOU I WANT TO KNOW THAT TO BECAUSE IT WAS JUST DEVASTATING FOR ME AND I WAS IN THE WINTER. 73. SHE THEN CAME IN THE SUMMER OF 74. OF COURSE MY MOTHER HAD DIED IN THE NOVEMBER 1972 AND WE ROAMED AROUND SCOTLAND WITH MY DAD FOR BLESS HIS HEART. YOU KNOW HE HE TOOK US AROUND, MUST BE SO HARD FOR THIS IS SO THIS IS NOT MY BUSINESS.

YOUR FIRST KISS. SUE, WHERE, WHEN, HOW, IN THE BUTT IN THE BACK OF A FRIEND'S CAR TEAM SCORE $50 FOR YOUR REARVIEW MIRROR HERE CHANCE. HOW LONG HAD YOU BEEN WRITING LETTERS OF THE POINT TO CUSTER FOR THE FIRST I KISSED HER ON THAT SUNDAY NIGHT WHEN YOU MET HER THAT YES I KISSED HER IN THE BACK OF A CAR BEFORE SHE GOT OUT SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT FIRST DAY. SHE'S 13, YOU JUST HAD DINNER WITH THIRD. YOU KNOW, WE WENT TO CHURCH IS VERY SEE WAS NOT SHE DID NOT GO TO CHURCH SEE THEM BECAUSE SHE WASN'T OLD ENOUGH FOR THE YOUTH GROUP, BUT LIKE YOU SAID IT'S NOT YOUR STINKING YOUR ARE RATHER ROGUISH YOUNG MAN TENACIOUS SCOTT LISTEN. IT WAS THAT WAS THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT THE WHOLE THING THERE WAS ALMOST CAUSED ME KNOW IT WASN'T RIGHT. IF I GOT SOME GUY DOING OUT OF MY DAUGHTERS YEAH MY LEG RIGHT HER GRANDDAUGHTERS. 10 BUT I WAS SEE THE GIRLS NIGHT AND I MEET GIRLS AT CHURCH AND EVERYTHING BECOME THE PARENTS INTRODUCE ME AT THIS IS SO-AND-SO AS HELL DO YOU SAY I'M 13. WATCH OUT FOR SCOTTY'S BOYS DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS WHATEVER STORY HOW DID YOU PROPOSE JUST SAID WERE RUNNING OUT OF POSTAGE, WILL YOU MARRY ME. NOTHING FANCY, NOTHING FANCY KNOW I WE WENT OUT WE WENT OUT TO DINNER.

I BOUGHT A RING AND LIKE A DEPARTMENT STORE AND HER SISTERS AND I FELT SORRY FOR ALL LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENED TO SUE. I MEAN LOOK. SHE MARRIED GUYS GOING TO BE A PASTOR TO SEND Me WHAT THIS IS TERRIBLE THING SHE WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO. SHE COULD'VE HAD NO IDEA SHE WAS WHAT SHE WAS SIGNING ON TO IS A PASTOR'S WIFE ON HER.

SHE COULDN'T ESPECIALLY KNOW AND SCOTLAND IN THE IN THE 70S KNOW IT WAS DEVASTATING FOR HER AND I LOOKING BACK ON IT NOW ME AND I I COULD WEEP THINKING OF WHAT IT MEANT FOR HER MINT.

WE GOT ON THE RUSSIAN SHIP AND CAME ACROSS THE OCEAN AND ALTHOUGH SHE LIVED IN ENGLAND FROM AGE OF 13. IT WAS IN HER HOME IS SCOTLAND CERTAINLY WAS NOT HOME AND YOU KNOW THAT WE WOULD COME OUT OF THE CHARLOTTE CHAPEL WHERE WE WERE IN EDINBURGH. SHE WOULD BACK ME FOR THE CAR KEYS I COULD PLEASE GIVE ME THE KHAKIS, HOW I WANT TO BE IN THE CAR AND THE REASON WHY IS BECAUSE SHE'S SHY AND SHE CAN ADD THAT I CAN. I'LL I'LL BE HERE IN FEBRUARY KNOW YOU CAN HAVE THE KHAKIS AND LOOKING BACK ON AND OUT. I WAS REALLY I SHOULD HAVE ACTUALLY JUST SAID NO LET'S GO TOGETHER, BUT I WAS I WAS. I REMEMBER HAVING LUNCH WITH AN ELDER FROM OUR CHURCH AND SAYING I'M WONDERING IF I'M CALLED THE PASTORAL MINISTRY AND HE SAID I COULD SEE THAT HE SAID HAVE YOU EVER ASKED IF YOUR WIFE IS COLTON AND I THOUGHT… NEVER DAWNED ON ME, AND IT IT WAS KIND LIKE WHAT COURSE I SHOULD ASK THAT QUESTION AND SHE'S GOT A BE A PART OF THIS BECAUSE THE PRESSURE ON A PASTOR'S WIFE. THERE YOU WERE CLEARLY CALLED RIGHT. SHE WAS SIGNING UP. SHE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU RIGHT AND ALL OF A SUDDEN IT'S LIKE IS THIS MY CALLING TO WRITE YOU YEAH NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

I MEAN, THEN, TO PURSUE, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE IT WHEN WE WENT TO THE CHURCH TOMORROW MORNING 77 THE EXPECTATIONS ON THE PASTOR'S WIFE WERE THE EXPECTATION ON THE BUSES WIFE. THE PASTOR'S WIFE IS THE IS THE CHAIRMAN OF THE LADIES THING IN THE STREET. SHE LEADS THE THING SHE DOES THE DEVOTIONAL AND EVERYTHING. SUE WAS SHE'S 20 WHEN SHE'S MARRIED. SO NOW SHE'S 22 MAYBE 23 AND ALL THESE OLD WHAT WHAT SEEMED OLD THEN SCOTTY'S LADIES DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT COST HER AND SHE SHE DID THAT IN THE MEETINGS WOULD BE ON TUESDAY AFTERNOONS. I THINK IT SHE WOULD BE OUR RACK. YOU KNOW ALL THE WAY UP UNTIL 20 MINUTES BEFORE THE MEETING. SHE WAS ACTUALLY VERY VERY GOOD AT WHAT SHE DID. SHE DIDN'T BELIEVE THAT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO AND IT WAS NOW IN RC1 ABOUT TO SING SOLOS OR PLAY THE PIANO FOR FIVE, I SEE WAS FINE BECAUSE GOD BRINGS GOOD FRIENDS INTO THAT ENVIRONMENT AND THEIR WORK.

THERE WERE A COUPLE OF LADIES THERE WHO BECAME YOU KNOW MORE THAN BIG SISTERS TO HER AND AND I WAS HER SALVATION. SO, DID SHE EVER HAVE A SEASON EARLY IN THE MARRIAGE WERE SHE THOUGHT.

WHAT HAVE I DONE ALL PROBABLY KNOW YOU KNOW WE WERE ACTUALLY WE WERE UNITED'S IN IN THE THING YOU KNOW WE LOOK BACK ON IT NOW, YOU KNOW, HERE WE ARE IN THE AND ONE OF THE MOST VISITED CITIES OF WESTERN EUROPE AND WHEAT WE NEVER DID ANYTHING, YOU KNOW, WE HAD NO MONEY AND AND II WANTED TO PLEASE TERRY PRIME SO MUCH THAT YOU KNOW IF HE SAID GO VISIT 10 PEOPLE. I REVISIT 20 PEOPLE AND WE DIDN'T SUFFER FROM IT, BUT SHE WAS GONE FROM HER MOM, HER DAD, SIBLINGS AND EVERYTHING THAT REALLY REPRESENTED SECURITY IN HER LIFE.

SHE WAS HANGING OUT ALL ON COMPANIONSHIP WITH ME BUT SHE KNEW THAT THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN ONLY WHEN OUR WEDDING WAS SET FOR 16 AUGUST THEY ENCOUNTER WITH BOULTON TO PLACE AND MAYBE APRIL, SO THIS WAS JUST MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING. YEAH AND SO SHE DIDN'T.

OUR FATHER DIDN'T KNOW IF I EVEN KNOW IF I WAS EMPLOYABLE ENOUGH IF I COULD SUPPORT HIS DAUGHTER AND I AND I DIDN'T KNOW EITHER COMING IN THE PROVIDENCE OF GOD RUNNING KIRBY TOLD ME GILBERT TOLD ME THERE IS NOT A MAN IN THE ENTIRE UNITED KINGDOM, TO WHOM I CAN SEND YOU WHO WILL BE OF GREATER BENEFIT AND HELP TO YOU THAN THE MAN YOU'RE GOING TO. HE SAID YOU DON'T KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW AND BUT YOU WILL KNOW THAT HOW DID I BECAUSE I GET THAT OPPORTUNITY, I WOULD.

HOW DID I GET THAT OPPORTUNITY THAT IS SEEN ON THIS IS THE LORD'S DOING ITS MARVELOUS IN OUR EYES AND THE AND THE. THE CHURCH, YOU KNOW, WELCOME DORIS AND THE AMERICAN LADY.

THE AMERICAN THEN THEY LIKE THE AMERICAN LEADING AND LEAST THAT'S WHAT THEY WOULD CALL HER.

I WE'VE GOT AN AMERICAN LADY AS OUR PASTOR'S WIFE. SHE'S AMERICAN'S SEALIFT IS THAT THE AMERICAN WE COME BACK HERE.

IT WAS EASY FOR HER BECAUSE SHE'S YEAH THEY'RE ALL AMERICAN-MADE THRUST. NOW WE'VE GOT THE SCOTTY'S MIND WITH THE FINANCIAL CHANGE. SHE HAD GROWN UP IN A YEAH PRETTY NICE SET UP AND NOW SHE'S LIVING THE ASSOCIATE PASTOR'S WAGES AND NUMBER. SHE'S GOOD SHE'S VERY VERY GOOD. SHE'S TO MAKE THINGS, YOU KNOW, THE 70S OF THE EAR OF ALL STRANGE STUFF, YOU KNOW, BUT SHE CAN SO SHE CAN DO STUFF SO SHE WOULD MAKE THESE THINGS AND THEN WE WOULD DRIVE AROUND AND SELL IN STORES AND SHE WOULD GO IN AND SHE COME OUT AND SAY I SOLD 10 OF US. THAT'S REALLY GOOD THAT'S WHAT IS NOT A LAZY PERSON SHE DECIDED SHE WAS GOING TO WORK AS AS A HELPER AND BASICALLY A SENIOR CITIZENS HOME AND THAT SHE WOULD GET UP IN THE MORNING TO GO IN FEED PORRIDGE TO OLD MAN WHO COULDN'T FIND THEIR TEETH AND STUFF LIKE THAT. NOW SHE SHE WOULD MAKE IT SHE WOULD MAKE A GO OF IT. SHE'S GOT FAR MORE OF A SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE THAN MYSELF AND YOU KNOW CHI-CHI WOULD NEVER BE STUCK. I I WOULD BE STUCK SHE WOULD BE STUCK. DID YOU THINK OR DID SHE THINK YOU WOULD LIVE IN SCOTLAND, YOUR WHOLE LOGS. IT NEVER EVER OCCURRED TO US TO THINK OF ANYTHING OTHER BECAUSE YOU KNOW BY THE TIME WE WERE TWO YEARS INTO IT I SAID A MISCARRIAGE IN EDINBURGH THAT OUR SON WAS BORN SO ALL THE FORMATIVE ELEMENTS OF HER LIFE. INSTEAD OF GROWING UP IN MARRIED LIFE FOR ALL NOT FORMED IN THE SCOTTY'S FRAMEWORK.

SHE WAS VERY CONTENTED AND SHE WAS VERY HAPPY. MY SISTERS LOVED HER FROM THE AGE OF 13.

I MEAN THE MATTER WHEN SHE WAS I THINK 14 AND TO THIS DAY THERE THERE THE BEST OF FRIENDS. EVERYTHING WAS EVERYTHING WAS GOOD. SHE WAS SEE IT WASN'T A QUID PRO QUO, YOU KNOW, MAYBE IF I DO X YEARS HERE YOU COME AND DO X YEARS THERE NO BUT WHEN THE INVITATION CAME FROM AMERICA THEN AS I SEE IT WAS A RELATIVELY EASY THING FOR HER TO COME BACK INTO AN ENVIRONMENT THAT WAS NOT STRANGE TO HER AND WAS PART OF YOUR CALCULATION THAT SHE HAD SACRIFICED TO BE WITH YOU AND SO NOW THE KNOW ARE NOT IN ANY SENSE OF KNOW SHE NEVER ASKED THAT QUESTION. SHE NEVER POSED THAT NO THE REAL THE REAL QUESTION WAS WHERE DO I DO WITH THIS INVITATION, WHICH I FIRST DECLINED WHICH CAME AGAIN A YEAR LATER AND YOU KNOW I CAME HERE AS A VERY RELUCTANT PROPHET I HAD BEEN IN AMERICA ENOUGH BY THIS TIME, I MEAN I CAME IN 72 NO WERE TALKING.

11 YEARS LATER, SO I'VE BEEN NORTH, SOUTH, EAST AND WEST IN AMERICA HAD BEEN IN VERMONT AND BEING A NEW ENGLANDER BE DONE IN THE SOUTHERN STATES AND I KNEW THAT IF YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA. HE UNITED IN THE GREATER CLEVELAND, OHIO. NOT NOT IF YOU'RE SERVE CHOOSING SO I DIDN'T. IT DIDN'T HOLD ANY APPEAL IN THAT WAY. THE CHALLENGES THAT WERE REPRESENTED IN IT WERE FAIRLY DAUNTING. I CAME OUT OF A GENUINE SENSE OF ART AND ASSESS THE HONEST TRUTH. I MEAN I CAME WILLINGLY AT BUT I CAME FEARFULLY AND THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW 37 YEARS LATER WERE WERE TALKING ABOUT. IT IS AN INDICATION OF THE FORBEARANCE OF THE CONGREGATION OF THE TALLER AND SO IF THE LEE LEADERSHIP WHO I SURELY MUST HAVE DRIVEN THEM NUTS IN THE AND STILL PROBABLY DRIVE HIM NUTS, BUT I MUST'VE REALLY DONE A NUMBER ON THEM. IN THE EARLY DAYS AND AGAIN THAT'S THAT'S AN INDICATION OF THE GRACE OF GOD TO KNOW SOFTENING THOSE THINGS AND CREATING AFFECTION, EVEN IN THE ROUGH EDGED ELEMENTS OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. WHEN I THINK ABOUT MOTIVATIONS FOR MARRIAGE. SOME PEOPLE SAY I WANT TO GET MARRIED BECAUSE IT'S BETTER TO MARRY THAN BURTON. SOME PEOPLE SAY I WANT TO GET MARRIED BECAUSE COMPANIONSHIP ACCORDING THREE STRANDS WITHOUT SOME PEOPLE GET MARRIED BECAUSE THEY READ ALL MAGNIFY THE LORD WITH ME AND LET US EXALT HIS NAME TOGETHER. WHAT WAS YOUR MOTIVATION WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED. IF YOU COULD CALIBRATE HIM IN ALL OF THAT'S IN THERE, BUT I GUESS I'M THINKING BACK TO MY OWN MARRIAGE FRIEND GOT MARRIED BECAUSE I LIKED BEING AROUND THIS PERSON WHO LOVED ME. I LIKE BEING ALONE. DESPITE WHAT I DIDN'T HAVE NOBLE VIEWS OF MARRIAGE WE WILL GET MARRIED AND WILL SERVE THE LORD TOGETHER. I WAS JUST THINKING THIS JUST FEELS GOOD TO BE WITH THIS PERSON I'M GROWN FROM THERE. THAT'S WHERE I STARTED. YEAH, I GOT MARRIED TO SUSAN BECAUSE I COULDN'T IMAGINE LIVING MY LIFE WITHOUT HER.

I WANTED HER TO BE MY FRIEND. I WANTED I WANTED TO BE MY FRIEND IN LIFE IT'S IT'S ABIGAIL ADAMS. I WANTED TO BECOME HER DEAREST FRIEND IN ALL OF ITS DIE MENTIONS IN TERMS OF PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE ANOTHER AND TO THE EVERYTHING YEAH YEAH I WANTED TO I WANTED TO BECOME ONE WITH HER. I DIDN'T WANT TO WRITE LETTERS TO HER ANYMORE. I COULDN'T HANDLE IT ANY LONGER. I WANTED WANT TO BE MARRIED. SO IF YOU'RE SITTING DOWN WITH THE 16-YEAR-OLD YOUNG MAN TO WHAT THIS IS IT DIFFERENT – THAT'S THE FIRST THING THAT THIS IS IT DIFFERENT.

I MEAN THEIR LEVEL OF Enemy FISHER QUESTIONS ARE INTERRUPTED, YOU KNOW YOU'RE YOU'RE ON THE SAME CRIME, ANTICIPATING ITS IT'S A DIFFERENT DAY.

WHAT WHAT COUNSEL DO YOU GIVE YOUNG MEN AND YOUNG WOMEN ABOUT THINKING RIGHT ABOUT MARRIAGE IN THIS DAY.

WELL, ONE OF THE THINGS I SAY IN AN YOU KNOW THEY SAY WILL YOU SAY THIS, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SAFETY VALVE FOR ME IN THIS WHOLE THING THAT YOU KISS THIS GIRL IN THE CAR BEFORE SHE LEAVES.

BUT I WAS 300 MILES AWAY. THAT WOULD'VE BEEN A REAL PROBLEM IF IF I LIFT THREE DOORS UP FROM HER IS SOMETHING OUR ENEMY AND IT WAS JUST SO BIZARRE. YEAH RIGHT.

IT WAS THE SHIN OF HAMDEN SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

WHO KNOWS YOUR WRITING LETTERS AND LETTERS, NUMBERS, KNOWING THAT WE DON'T HANG OUT.

THERE'S NO THERE'S NO THERE'S NO WAY TO DEVELOP THAT EXCEPT THESE CRAZY LETTERS. WHAT I WOULD SAY TO SOMEBODY, ONE OF THE THINGS I SATAN IS ALWAYS NEVER ASSUME THAT A FRIENDSHIP HAS TO BE MORE THAN A FRIENDSHIP WHEN IT BEGINS, ESPECIALLY IN OUR SEXUALIZED ENVIRONMENT WHERE THE PHENOMENAL RIDICULOUS PRESSURE AND NOTIONS THAT ARE ATTACHED TO ALL OF THIS IN THE TERMS OF ENGAGEMENT, CHRISTIAN YOUNG PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BE PREPARED TO SET BOUNDARIES FOR THEMSELVES THAT ARE REGARDED AS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS BY THEIR SURROUNDING CULTURE IS ONE OF THE WAYS IN WHICH THE TEENAGER CAN ACTUALLY PROVE THAT WE ARE A PECULIAR PEOPLE, AND SO YOU KNOW I WANT TO ENCOURAGE THEM AND HELP THEM IN THAT IN THAT REGARD, AND ALSO BECAUSE AS AS I THINK WE PROBABLY CAN ACKNOWLEDGE MANY OF THE MARITAL DIFFICULTIES THAT WE DEAL WITH IN PASTORAL MINISTRY. I FIND MYSELF WHEN THEY WALK OUT THE DOOR SAYING I DON'T THING THEY'VE EVER BEEN FRIENDS.

I DON'T THING THEY'VE EVER BEEN FRIENDS. I DON'T THING IT WAS THAT THEIR FRIENDSHIP DISSIPATED. I DON'T AND THEY STARTED THIS FRIENDS AND ESPECIALLY IF YOU ADD A PHYSICAL DIMENSION TO THE RELATIONSHIP ON THE ON THE FRONT END THAT MAY ACTUALLY BECOME A DRIVER FOR THINGS SO THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS ENJOYING DEVELOPING FRIENDSHIPS WITHOUT PUTTING THE ADDED PRESSURE ON THE THING IN THE MALE-FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS LOOK TO ROLE MODELS THAT CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT SAID, YET BE HONEST WITH THE WHOEVER IT IS IN YOUR IN YOUR SPHERE OF INFLUENCE WHETHER IT'S YOUR YOUTH PASTOR, WHATEVER ELSE IT IS REALIZE THAT HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD. HE UNDERSTANDS EXACTLY THE CONCERNS IN THE PASSIONS AND STUFF.

I DON'T KNOW MUCH BEYOND THAT. AND JUST AS I THINK ABOUT IT JUST NOW ON OUR WEDDING INVITATION.

WE HAD FIRST JOHN 419 WE LOVE BECAUSE HE FIRST LORENTZ IS A BIT OF VERSE THAT'S MARKED YOUR MARRIAGE.

ANYTHING THAT THE TWO OF YOU HAVE COME BACK TO YOU AS AS KIND OF FORMATIVE TO WHAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP HOW GOD HAS BROUGHT THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER WELL AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE. OUR WEDDING RINGS ENGRAVED INTO HERS WAS ON THE TWO MEN ENGRAVED INTO MINDLESS SHALL BECOME ONE. IT'S A FUN LOVE STORY WE BEEN LISTENING TO PASTOR ALISTER BAG AND THE CONVERSATION I HAD WITH HIM RECENTLY JUST SHARING ABOUT HOW HE MET HIS WIFE SUSAN ABOUT HOW THEY GOT MARRIED. I LOVE PURITAN PEOPLE'S A REALLY SWEET ACTUALLY I THOUGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE PROGRAM. WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW AT LEAST THE THREE OF US HAD IN COMMON. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY WE ALL WENT HARD AFTER THE LOVE OF OUR LIVES THAT I REALLY DID DANCE AT SCREW AND AND ALL OF US HAVE TRIED WITH JESUS AT THE CENTER AND MARRIAGE WHICH IS ULTIMATELY WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.

IT'S NOT IT'S NOT TEMPERAMENT OR PERSONALITY INFECTED, EVEN AS ALISTER WAS TALKING.

I WAS THINKING THEY COULD NOT HAVE ANTICIPATED WHAT GOD HAD FOR THEM. YOU GUYS COULD WRITE ANTICIPATED MIRIAM AND I COULD NOT ANTICIPATED. SO IF YOU GO IN THINKING WILL AS LONG AS EVERYTHING STAYS STABLE. THIS MARRIAGE CAN WORK, IT'S NOT GOING TO STAY STATING THAT YOU GOTTA BE READY FOR WHATEVER COMES IN YOUR FOUNDATION IS GOTTA BE ON SOMETHING MORE THAN JUST YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. I HOPE OUR LISTENERS WILL GO ONLINE AND FAMILY LIKE TODAY.COM AND DOWNLOAD THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION WITH ALISTER. I THINK WE TALKED ABOUT AN HOUR TALKING ABOUT HIS FAMILY ABOUT GROWING UP IN SCOTLAND ABOUT HIS CALL TO MINISTRY ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH SUSAN IT JUST A GREAT CONVERSATION. THE WHOLE THING CAN BE DOWNLOADED, YOU CAN LISTEN TO IT AS A PODCAST GO TO FAMILY LIKE TODAY.COM AND THE FILE IS AVAILABLE THERE. ALISTER HAS ALSO WRITTEN A NEW BOOK ABOUT FAITH. IT'S CALLED BRAVE BY FAITH GOD -SIZED CONFIDENCE IN A POST-CHRISTIAN WORLD AND WERE MAKING THAT BOOK AVAILABLE IT'S IN OUR FAMILY LIFE TODAY RESOURCE CENTER.

YOU CAN GO ONLINE AND FAMILY LIFE TODAY.COM TO ORDER YOUR COPY OF ALISTER'S NEW BOOK, OR CALL ONE 800 FL TODAY TO GET A COPY AGAIN.

THE BOOK IS CALLED BRAVE BY FAITH BY ALISTER BAG ORDER ONLINE AND FAMILY LIFE TODAY.COM OR CALL 1-800-358-6329 THAT'S ONE 800 F AS IN FAMILY L AS IN LIFE, AND THEN THE WORD TODAY.

ONE OF THE THINGS THAT ALISTER MENTIONED IN OUR CONVERSATION WAS HOW HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH SUSAN REALLY WAS SOLIDIFIED AT AN EVENT THAT WAS HOSTED BY CAMPUS CRUSADE FOR CHRIST. BACK IN 1972 CALLED X BLOW 72 DAVID ROBBINS IS HERE WITH THE STATEMENTS. THE PERSONAL FAMILY LIFE, AND DAVID. ALTHOUGH WE MENTION IT EVERY DAY HERE ON FAMILY LIFE TODAY.

A LOT OF OUR LISTENERS ARE SURPRISED WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT FAMILY LIFE IS A PART OF CREW WILL WHAT'S WHAT'S ALSO FUN THAT MEG AND I MET WITH HIM CREW AND A SMALL GROUP THAT WE TRIED OUT COED SMALL GROUPS FOR SEMESTER TWO AT THE UNIVERSITY. WE WERE OUT AND SO ALL OF A SUDDEN I'M LIKE MAN I GET ALISTER IN SUSAN'S YOU KNOW WE GOT SOMETHING IN IN SYNC WITH THEM ON THING IS PRETTY COOL. I JUST LOVE ALISTER SO MUCH AND YOU KNOW HIS HEARTBEAT FOR THE GOSPEL TO GO FORWARD YOU SOME OF THOSE INITIAL THREADS, YOU KNOW, GO BACK ONE PART OF THAT STORY IS WITH CREW THAT'S CERTAINLY THE CASE FOR MEGAN. I AM SO GRATEFUL TO BE CONNECTED TO A MINISTRY THAT HAS THE GREAT COMMISSION CENTERED IN WHAT WE ARE ABOUT OF TAKING THE GOSPEL TO PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T HAD THE CHANCE TO HEAR IT, AND HELPING MAKE DISCIPLES WHO MAKE DISCIPLES IN IT. FAMILY LIFE. THAT'S ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS WERE ABOUT.

YOU KNOW OUR MISSION STATEMENT MANY OF YOU TO EFFECTIVELY DEVELOP GODLY MARRIAGES AND FAMILIES WHO CHANGE THE WORLD ONE HOME AT A TIME AND WE WANT TO BE ABOUT TRANSFORMING MARRIAGES AND FAMILIES WHO THEREFORE GO AND TRANSFORM OTHERS WHO PARTICIPATE WITH GOD IN HIS KINGDOM BEING BUILT, AND WE ARE ABOUT FAMILIES DISCIPLING FAMILIES AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WHO FOLLOW JESUS GETS TO PLAY A PART IN GOD'S KINGDOM BUILDING AND YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR HOME IS A KEY PART OF THAT AND WE ARE THANKFUL FOR THOSE OF YOU PRAY FOR US. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO GO AND ENGAGE WITH YOUR NEIGHBORS OR COWORKERS WERE ALSO THANKFUL FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO SUPPORT THIS MINISTRY FINANCIALLY AND MAKE FAMILY LIFE TODAY POSSIBLE IF YOU'VE HEARD US TALKING ABOUT THE MATCHING GIFT OPPORTUNITY THAT'S AVAILABLE DURING THE MONTH OF MAY. THANKS TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE GIVEN ALREADY. IF YOU'RE A REGULAR FAMILY LIFE TODAY LISTER AND YOU SEE THE BENEFIT OF HOW GOD IS USING THIS MINISTRY IN THE LIVES OF SO MANY COUPLES ALL AROUND THE WORLD.

JUST KNOW THAT ANY DONATION YOU MAKE TODAY IS GOTTA BE MATCHED DOLLAR FOR DOLLAR UP TO A TOTAL OF $350,000 THAT MATCHING GIFT OPPORTUNITY IS GOOD FOR US THROUGH THE END OF THIS MONTH SO LET ME ENCOURAGE YOU TO MAKE A DONATION TODAY GO TO FAMILY LIFE TODAY.COM AND DONATE ONLINE OR CALL ONE 800 FL TODAY TO DONATE WHEN YOU DO WE GET SOME THANK YOU GIFTS WERE TO SEND YOU THE INFORMATION ABOUT ALL THAT IS AVAILABLE ONLINE WHEN YOU DONATE OR YOU CAN ASK ABOUT THE THANK YOU GIFTS WHEN YOU CALL US AND THAT WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR SUPPORT OF THIS MINISTRY AND FOR HOW GOD IS USING FAMILY LIFE TODAY AND SO MANY PEOPLE'S LIVES ALL AROUND THE WORLD AND WE HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND. HOPE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ABLE TO WORSHIP TOGETHER IN YOUR LOCAL CHURCH THIS WEEKEND AND I HOPE YOU CAN JOIN US BACK ON MONDAY WHEN WE TO SPEND SOME TIME LOOKING BACK AT SOME OF THE THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT MARRIAGE AND FAMILY OVER THE LAST 28 1/2 YEARS THAT I'VE BEEN COHOSTING FAMILY LIFE TODAY TO TALK ABOUT THE KIND OF STUFF THAT I PASS ON TO OTHER PEOPLE REGULARLY AND CONVERSATION SO I HOPE YOU CAN TUNE IN. AS WE SPENT SOME TIME TAKING A LOOK BACK. I WANT TO THANK OUR ENGINEER TODAY. KEITH LYNCH GOT SOME EXTRA HELP FROM MARK RAMEY AND OUR ENTIRE BROADCAST PRODUCTION TEAM ON BEHALF OF OUR HOSTS DAVID AND WILSON ABOUT THE PAIN. HAVE A GREAT WEEK AND WILL SEE YOU MONDAY FOR ANOTHER EDITION OF FAMILY LIFE, FAMILY LIFE TODAY IS THE PRODUCTION OF FAMILY LIFE OF LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS. ACCRUE MINISTRY HELP FOR TODAY HOPE FOR TOMORROW