Using Your Gifting

Abigail Dodds has a message for women. She wants women to understand that the fact that you're a woman is not nothing.

It's not inconsequential when I talk to young women, probably 40 and under primarily it's almost as though they've never considered that their bodies factor into their call and these are Christian women and these are not immature women.

There were wonderful women that were made differently by our pianos made a certain way, why is the bench a certain height will why are women softer why they have a uterus like that is not a flute and I just want young women to start to see that is not a flick. This is family life today hosts are David and Wilson and Bob Lapine men and women are clearly biologically different.

Should we understand some deeper reality. As a result of them or is it just simply a matter of a metal room and talk about that today with Abigail and then welcome to family life today. Thanks for joining us.

So I got out I got fastball to throw now to start drawing to our day know I'm literally torn her just to think, that's me. You Abigail Dodds is joining as a given family life today. Welcome back.

Thanks for having me to feel comfortable with the best welcome you into my bed fastball's funeral baseball thinking whom I was working him out because several articles have fastball or curveball. I think this is probably fastball day blood and I'm Emily, have you guys chime in on this as well. Okay, so this goes back may be maybe 10 years and this kind of erupted into an online controversy. Here's the story, a guy and a girl meet at church and they get to know one another and after they met one other. The guy says you want to go to lunch after church and I'm waiting to see if Abigail so smile because she knows the story and get do so on their way to the lunch there talking and he finds out that she's 1/6° black belt karate champion and it. In the meantime he's kind of, you know he's he's just not as outdoorsy or as athletic core is fast right somebody jumps out to mug them should the guy get between the attacker and the girl or should he say you're the black belt over that illustration come from not tell us that came from Pastor John did come from Pastor John Piper. He had an answer for that right was his answer. His answer is man stepped up there yes yeah and you remember and if she wants to give some assistant kicks. Do you remember how many people really upset about that. What were they upset with.

If she's the one who is trained and capable and she's got the gift thing to do this. The guy should get out of the way and so you're better at this than I am and to not do that is to dishonor and devalue her. I want to hear what my wife would say well, my first thought was if the guys bigger and weighs more than he has more of a chance to settle down.

Let's say he's a small skinny guy like Dave that Dave would step into that situation in spite of his size or his skill because I think it's part of who he is as a man for Dave he would step in as my protector.

So that's the point.

John Piper was trying to make that that's what men ought to instinctively do I mean II know me, I would've said let's go with my wife I be I could step up I grab the gun is a you you take them out.

I would've done it as a as a team as a man I know I would've aggressively moved but I would I'm wanted to use her assets in the same way. Interestingly, she wants to not be a part of it protector famous runaway, but I'm guessing she's gonna see if you can woman even if I was skilled if my man hid behind me. That respect led Abigail.

Thank you.

You're not going to lunch with I got that interesting and here's one little thing that I would pick up on just in that conversation, you gets taught about it. I think you said something like denied wanting to step up as he would be bigger probably. Even if I was trained and Bob, you said let's just pretend he wasn't right but see now are getting out of reality because reality is, he probably is bigger because all guys are bigger and so in order to make the situation even work where he shouldn't do it. You have to willingly disbelieve reality, which is that men are bigger than women and they were made to do those kinds of things. I don't care how many how many hours I spent practicing arm wrestling, I'm probably not going to be an average sized man and I can't do a single thing about that and got calls that guide the reason we decided to throw this past fall at you and let you take a swing out is because Abigail has written a book called a typical woman free whole and called in Christ, and Abigail writes for desiring God. So I picked a good job illustration she's not going to disagree with John Piper. I'm not planning to. Probably some of these movies and I know some women will be really mad today, but these movies today are depicting women. I believe women are lawyers.

I believe that we are strong and yet we have these movies where women are kicking guys but I'm sure I like that could never have these just to he could be really skilled and I'm sure there are many women that have a degree with me, but do you think many women are excited about these movies like finally, there's movies where the hero, now I'm reading stuff having that's what why do you think they're making right female hero movies because there's an outcry there a lot of people who want women glorified as a warrior woman run rate is a set wrong. Well, I don't think it's a good trend and here's why. In order to say right or wrong, I'd probably want to look at some real specific case that, in general, like we said we cannot get outside of what reality is.

Now the reason why movies are a little bit difficult to talk about in that realm is because usually there outside around inside the realm of reality and a lot of them are not even other fantasies right literally and so you can make a case for that one way or another, wonder woman does not exist in the room. I do believe that I see myself as a waiter in my role in my God given gifts and strengths of what God called me to do. I see there is a fierceness in me that I won't deny, and yet physically speaking, I'm going that route. Yeah, it's not in the realm of physical power. Yes, there is a strength to the woman spirit that to be there. I mean, and if you ask my kids and Mondello warrior us. I'm sure they would. She's got because that's reality. And I just don't think that's what we were made for so women's bodies were made to do something very different. They were made to nurture and grow life and that is almost the that's the exact opposite of what were seen depicted in these films, which is why I think it grates against the fabric of of reality. One of the big themes in your book is that to understand womanhood and femininity. You should look at how your body was married and your physical beating says something about what God made you to do what I wrote a book called the Christian husband and I noted in there that men have typically 50% more upper body strength than women do.

Now that ought to tell us that's general revelation looking at the creation them, saying, what was the creator's design in doing what should that tell us it should tell us that when something needs to be picked up guys pick it up because you got more strength to do that. Typically, the woman does doesn't mean everyone in our lives.

If there's if there's a mom and a little boy.

It doesn't mean that the mom shouldn't pick it up to see stronger but this is the general sense of how our bodies were designed should say something about what it means to be womanhood means to be a man and even for that mom with the little boy it still wouldn't be a bad idea for her to say he sent you want to give your mom a hand with this not because the mom is too weak, not because she wants the sun to see her as weak, but because it's reminding him that he was made for something he was given a particular body that's gonna grow bigger than hers and he has to already at a young age be trained to steward his strength is flinched, but when you said that inside want to say to my daughter the same thing with you on your mom and with this teacher to be a servant and to absolutely but as the parent you're there to help guide in those nuances and yes were all servants. And yes I asked my daughters to do all kinds of things that are physically difficult. I mean, I'm the one who started out the conversation about the mom with the chainsaw.

It is about strength absolutely and physically.

Things like that.

It's not about hard work.

Our girls are hard called hard work. They are called to sweat. They are called to serve their call to sacrifice the way that plays out. Especially in the interplay between a man and a woman or a husband and a wife all those inter-plays will be different then just say were all going to buckle down and get this project done and work hard. The little different when you have those particular interplays happening and we have to we have to help our children see that because one of the things that I do think is true is that there is a blindness that's come over our age.

When I talk to young women, probably 40 and under primarily it's almost as though they've never considered that their bodies factor into their call and these are Christian women and these are not immature women.

There were wonderful women in and I say it to. As one who has experienced that same blindness one who who didn't spend a lot of time contemplating how I was made and how that might relate to my calling in life. What I was made for or made differently. Why are pianos made a certain way. Why is a bench, a certain height will why are women softer. Why do they have a uterus by her grandmas, extra soft fat is not a fluke, so anything's going on in a woman's mind or heart or soul when they hear what we've been talking about a man's upper body is stronger just biology and they they get upset. Yellow slinky.

What's going on inside that woman. I think it's the sense of does that mean I'm not as good.

Are you trying to say I'm a defective model and I think there are two problems. One is that we have a sin nature.

It makes everything into a comparison so that's one problem but let's say that peace has been removed and that say we just have a very tender heart. Now where that piece has been removed and they still feel slightly flinching about that. It could be that they've never been shown that women also have particular things about them that men don't so we can talk about a man is having more strength as though when he got more what I'm sorry but I don't think either of you can give birth and that's it particular thing now. Again, not every man is going to be wrong. There will be times when this doesn't play out in the generalities that were not using and there will be women who have a womb doesn't ever have a baby and so these are all realities that we can't be afraid of talking about. We can't stop saying that this is generally true. Just because we know that there are exceptions because these really are, what our bodies are and what they were made for talk about this and maybe reach into far either want you to women's you feel like any of that resistance from that woman of talk about that so I don't I don't agree. I don't like that I will book up against that. How much of that can be played out in their life from male domination men not respecting them not treating them. There's a history there something is going on in the church outside the church, you name it. How much of that is a part of their resistance to even wanting to know what God says I just don't like it absolutely factors in and it does no good to pretend like it doesn't and it does no good to not deal with it because if there's been someone has been mistreated in some way or is sinned against in some way or has been in it really unhealthy environment where the relationships between men and women really are just silly caricatures of goodness we have to be willing to say that that's what's happening and then say that that's not how it should be. We shouldn't treat each other's caricatures and we shouldn't miss treat each other because of our differences and again that's when it is so valuable to have that older woman come alongside and be able to give a bigger picture and even be able to say you know what, did you know that Christ and his church are not identical, that Christ is perfect and will never fail you, even when the church sometimes does. That's where that conversation can be so helpful and it can also be helpful in strengthening that woman whom I feel that way to not lose hope or affection for her brothers in Christ when she might be very tempted to do that Bible verse to see if either of you just have just a little bit of a flinch when you hear this Bible verse, husband's live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel. How do had you ladies know.

Does that make you flinch will be through the first use to allot in fact Dave, when you asked the question earlier. I really had a hard time with all of this I was in a very male-dominated home where I had brothers and a dad who applauded strength, competition, and so I remember looking at my mom.

Thinking your week you're not celebrating my dad was a little more domineering. He wasn't a servant leader and so I bucked against everything as a woman. I thought I wouldn't be a man and I'll never forget I was in the ninth grade when I ran a 400 race in track I ran with a a boy a guy that was the big 400 winner at our school, and I thought the disc I had never been beaten by a woman, a girl or a guy, and we ran and I one my hair and I ran straight off the track. I ran down into the bathroom and I threw up because I gave every tyke everything and I thought I cried that night because I thought that is the last time I will ever be a boy and is not that I don't have the work ethic is not that I didn't put in the practice. It's that physically I am unable to be the champion and not graded with me so that first yes why am I the weaker vessel so it doesn't still bother you today. Now because I understand now who my father is I understand what he's talking about. Even when it talks about in Genesis that we are to be the helpmate I word I thought where's my help make my mind and I did my somebody to help and so there is this pre-failure I thought the weaker vessel that means I'm not as good. Did you ever struggle yes yes I remember hearing that verse read and just what you know right and everything in us tenant shutters a little bit when we first hear that the only thing I would hear when I heard that verse was the weaker part.

What I didn't hear was show honor gift to her as the weaker vessel that weaker vessel status made me worthy of some kind of honor and in the more you start to really think about it and press into it.

The analogy that I use in the book is and I know some people don't like this because they're going to be people who don't like the matter how I say it. I use the analogy of the political scene that that's that's labeled fragile handle with care will why is it because it's not valuable exact opposite reason it is so valuable and to just say that these bodies that yes are weaker have to be honored because this is where life comes from the human race.

Ceases to exist without these bodies, and so would you handle them with honor and please switch you value them. Would you be considerate of your wife because she may be having babies and you're gonna need to really watch out for her and so I just now all men, I will you know God has to work in the have to be people in your life to help you see this thing and Abigail. What about the wife or the woman that never is able to have kids or never has kids.

Does that disqualify her from home.

I'm so glad you asked that because this this is a burden that I had when I was writing and even now is that I don't want any woman to think what validates your womanhood.

Is that your body functions properly.

I have a son with disabilities and his body doesn't always function properly. He has a feeding tube and so does that mean that he is less of a man now because of sin and the curse there always going to be things in our bodies and every single one of us that break or are broken or will break and it is not a lessening of what he's made you to be in the wonderful thing about Christ's body. That's where our healing comes because the church is Christ's actual body.

It's a metaphor, but we are his body and in that body. There are no barren women, none no barren women in Christ body, because we have spiritual children spiritual family. So even when the physical reality breaks the spiritual reality never break for even if you've never been, or will get married. That's right, I been thinking in recent days about the fact that at the end of Genesis 2, we have the completion of creation, everything that's been created. God says is good except for man to be alone and then he fixes death and says it's good. So now we have his perfect unmarred beautiful holy creation and of the opening of Genesis 3, it starts to get undone. And the interesting thing to me is that as it starts to get undone. The attack of the enemy is back to everything God was doing in Genesis 1 into its back to destroy marriage which was the thing God created at the end of Genesis 2, then it's back to start to destroy male and female mouse. You look at the trajectory of the culture were you and you can see this is the attack of the enemy to say working to take you back to chaos, which is where it was before God created undo the creation ordered that God did, and that's why I think a book like this and a conversation like this is so critical in our day to say we don't want to be a part of the undoing of God's design. We will be a part of the exulting of God's design because the new heaven and the new earth is going to be even grander even more glorious.

And these elements that you find in Genesis 1 and two are going to be in Revelation 2122 him even more magnificent outages that Bob we would talk about womanhood all day but I would say to the men, so much of that's on us to treat women all women with respect and dignity and value in a God honoring way, the way God views them as the way we as men should as well. That's the part before the weaker vessel will first Peter three words is treat her with honor, absolutely. We've got copies of Abigail's book in our family life to the resource Center you can go online to order a copy or you can call to order one 800 FL today at one 803 586-329-1800 F as in family L as in life and in the word. Today we have some pretty exciting news around here a few days ago many of you know, we've had a matching gift offer that's been made available to us during the month of May and some friends of the ministry agreed that they would match every donation given to family life during the month of May, dollar for dollar up to a total of $250,000. Well we had some additional friends come along and say we want to help with the matching gift and so they've added to the matching gift fund an extra hundred thousand dollars were not $350,000 in our matching gift fund that's great news for us, but it's only great news for us if blisters like you will join with us and make a contribution. That's the only way that we can get funds from the matching gift fund released. So whether it's a one-time gift or a monthly legacy partner gift.

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We hear a lot about girl power, so does the Bible talk about that is that something that ought to be pursued till Dobbs is going to join us again. Hope you can join us as well.

Think our engineer today.

Keith Lynch got some extra help from Remy and our entire broadcast team hosts David and Wilson Bob been to see you back next time for another edition of family life today. Family life to the production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas. Accrue ministry help for today hope for tomorrow