Praying For Your Kids

Nancy Guthrie believes that his parents we should be regularly praying for our children no matter what age they are. Joseph believes we need to be praying for them at a deeper level. We allow our prayers to be so circumstance Dragon whatever circumstance is going on in our child's life were just praying and of course we figure out what the best outcome is as if we know, and sometimes even get got a timeline I need to do this and I need you to do it night in and so the Scriptures are what help us to pray. I think into the deeper things that they would become the kind of people. God wants them to me. This is family life today hosts are David M. Wilson and Bobby Payne talk today with Nancy Guthrie about what would look like his parents. If our prayers for our kids were guided by some that would take us deeper and welcome to family life today.

Thanks for joining us. So we have a week with little time of confession already this week a family life that we've all confessed that we are prayer right how how we need help in this area. I guess we contested one another.

I don't know if we confess to God.

Maybe we need to do that as well bore talking about not only teaching our kids how to pray, but we also talk this week about praying for our kids. And is that something that that you just do naturally and instinctively as a mom or is that something that you have to think about does it does it just happen spontaneously or are you intentional. I think I've become disciplined as they come to my mind. It used to be that I would worry and fret that now I take those thoughts captive and I taken before God and I kind of surrender them to God, but that is been a practice of discipline for me to put up for you. It's a plea of desperation I think is a dad. When you when you just you have nowhere to turn.

And you know I God, you know better you are with them. I lift them up, it became a daily I mean when their first born of course but then boil boy hit the teenagers and even now is the Randolph's is the even now when their home is teenagers you can kinda say what only to pray I can work I can I can make something happen here I when they become adults is kind like I don't have as much influence as I used them the hell is a desperate plea. We got Nancy Guthrie joining us this week. Welcome back to family life today. Thank you, something to be with you. Nancy has written a book to help parents teach their kids about prayer called what every child should know about prayer. But she also wrote a book. This is a one year book, praying through the Bible for your kids and you were telling us earlier this is a book that that you would to the publisher and said please let me write this book.

Absolutely you know I was in a place in my parenting. We are going through some difficult things and I really do number things. First of all, just as you all have said, I realized I was doing a whole lot more worrying than me. There was a lot of waking up at three in the morning and beginning to think through some of the issues feeding on my fears and follow the train toward the worst possible outcome and when I was just worrying and doing that then I was strategizing planking in my life here and I got I got you know get this person involved read this book and strategizing make this plan to get things turned around to situations and helping God first and also I realized okay I got to do more praying than worrying. But I also realized something else about myself which is that if I operated on solely just going to prayer pouring out when I wanted and when I thought was best. Here's the thing. My desires for my child are shaped by many things and not all of them are good. I mean, I think most of us as parents would admit, especially in the social media age and social media. You see what's happening in other families lives eating a little boy was sent to me. My job my friend or eat is what it's so easy to be competitive about this thing right or or the fall into comparison and help file for failing to feel painful and so I realize you might desires for my child necessarily shaped by what God's desires are for my child, and so I need the Bible to be shaping what I am praying for my child, not just my own desires.

I need those to get shaped by the word of God. And so what I did was I went to Tyndale. They publish this wonderful lots of different one year through the Bible kinds of things and I said what I figure out if I can do would be to work my way through a one year Bible reading plan and find something in every days reading that would not only provide a challenge to parents or some insight about parenting, but then would create the basis for a prayer in which I could put blanks so that they could pray that passage of Scripture for their child and you see what does it makes the Scriptures priorities for our kids are priority rather than our own. And so that's what I began to do I begin working my way to this one year Bible reading plan looking for something every day and you know sometimes it's about your parenting. Sometimes you as the parent and then creating these prayers for people to then be able to insert their child's name so that we are praying for the things to happen in our child's life that God wants to happen in his children's lives. Let me give you an example of this. One of the things that you pointed out, this day was in acts 236, 339 at the end you have a prayer which reads spirit speak to blank so you'd insert your child's name through the preaching of your word. The reading of your word into my own speaking of your word break through the familiarity that resistance and the hardness in Pierce blanks heart in such a way that blank will be willing to repent and be joyful about identifying with you that is a heartfelt prayer that Scripture-based pleading with God and come up with that prayer just on my own, but if you're in that passage of Scripture that anyone apply that then it is the answer.

Yes, this is what I want to happen much outside, and that's a good example of one thing I discovered as I worked my way through this so often the prayers are asking God to give my child a love for his word.

Because the thing is, there is no lasting change in the child's life there might be a little behavior modification, but there's no lasting change. There is no genuine lasting spiritual fruit. If my child does not come to love and no God's word and honestly I mean, that might not be the first thing I pray about, especially when it isn't too weak to allow our prayers to be so circumstance driven whatever circumstance is going on in our child's life were just praying and then of course we figure out what the best outcome is as if we know, and sometimes even give got a timeline you know I need to do this and I need you to do it by then, so that this happens. So the Scriptures are what help us to pray. I think into the deeper things to create the more organic, life-giving, long-lasting transformation in our child's life. Have you found as people read this book that they applied to more than their kids quizzes and was reading that prayer Mike she's prayed there for me a lot of God would speak to me of a but it does sound like minutes of your be applicable to anybody. Well, I certainly hope so. As you work your way through the book, you will also discover that I'm constantly speaking to parents because we as parents.

I think sometimes maybe it begins right when we get pregnant.

I don't know if you remember this in a German when you get pregnant and somehow the word gets out to all of the diaper companies yet and it's formula you start getting magazines and coupon in the mail. They like no right and so immediately start getting all these magazines and it's all five steps to dollars.

I am going to get your child to eat right and try to sleep but give them good self-esteem.

All these things and see how I think that makes us think as parents tells us this outrightly, but we get the idea.

If I do this right, then my child going to turn out in a putting quote marks right there. So there's a formula will work and it's up to you and so if your kids are struggling. What is that do to us as parents we become convinced I can do it right right and there is an overwhelming sense of failure that comes upon us as parents when our kids are are are struggling and so you know another message throughout the book is the message of the grace of God for imperfect, it's because you know what, there's only ever been one perfect and if you think about it. He had rebellious general tribe and many the nation of Israel. There's good news for us as parents who are so hard on ourselves wanting to be good parents but even wanting to be perfect parents and so we need to see God the father.

He has had rebellious children and then we need we need to see Jesus the son.

This one who took upon himself the punishment that we deserve for all of our failures including our failures as parents because all his half dose and then we need fellowship with the Holy Spirit because the Holy Spirit is the one who is working in us and the Holy Spirit is the one we want to be working in our children's lives seat you mentioned earlier and you know we can control these things.

I think one of the things that drove me to write this book and to want to pray more is at a point your kids are still in your house you can convince yourself that if you do start doing the right things. If you figured out that you still got control and it's not till your kids move out of your house and as you mentioned as they move into young adulthood.

All of a sudden you realize you have control. I mean, we were kidding ourselves to think we did earlier when they were in our house, but if as they become young adults we really realize it and I think the other thing we realize. Certainly I did was the things I need to happen in my child's life are actually things that only God can do and so that means all of my strategizing and all my worrying isn't going to accomplish what needs to happen.

My child's life. God must do it and I want to presume upon him to do it. Instead, pray and ask him to do it is honored by Nancy. I'm thinking about the prayer of the dam read from your book from acts chapter 2 and I'm thinking okay if a mom is pregnant or has a newborn. This idea of the God's word would do this or that they would the sermons they hear me speaking I'm going for my mother. There are-year-old you have to wait your kids are five to start working through book like this and at what age do you quit using booklet. Well, I think different days are going to hit you at a different place with your kids, but from the day you know you're pregnant.

The central prayer of our heart is God. Would you work through your word by your spirit and make this child who's going to be born spiritually dead, our greatest need is that God would work to make that child spiritually alive and boy that's that's something begin praying from the very beginning and we pray it throughout their lives. We praise God when we see fruit of that I meet somehow you're something else I miss writing.

Somehow I thought this parenting gig was maybe like 18 years long brightened my day telling you that right and they didn't tell us, especially. I mean I think when I think about our son.

In some ways he's needed us more as parents and his young adult years and even as a kid I mean parenting I'm just finding it doesn't end and as I see even Pete parents who have children, even older than I do is I see other parents who have kids who get married and then maybe the marriage is a struggle and they have grandchildren and their watching how their kids parent is grandchildren. I'm just realizing parenting and our kids and her come to the end of their need to be prayed for by their parents. I've gone through one year Bible probably for maybe 10 years. Sorry to the Bible every year, but I like having this because it is not long. It's just a page that you're kinda going back over some key Scripture, and it would be easy to do. Have you seen couples do this read it through together.

I have it such a beautiful thing to me. I got an email last week from a Christian leader your listeners would've probably heard of any said you know my why he said I was wanted to write you. My wife and I were reading it and he told me the date on the on which they were reading it. He said I just need you to know this is exactly what we needed today and my wife said this just keeps blowing me away every day so that may be genuinely happy and I can think of another couple that because of his work in the government.

They are then wake up together in the same house every day and she wrote me until they eat that they read it together over the phone every day to pray for their kids and things just make me really happy. And I think that reflects the fact that these parents realize. Okay, we want to pray together we went. Pray want to be in that's word and we want to pray for our kids, and some hope. I think what they find is that this book brings some of the things you have a Bible reading plan included just those who would want to read through the Bible. Your can do that somebody would say yeah I don't know that I'm up for that you have a passage that maybe two or three verses long and then you've got a short devotional commentary on those passages, along with the player at the bottom for a child so that if if you don't have the margin in your life to do 20 minutes. 30 minutes a Bible reading. You can read the verses and the devotional and end it might take you five or 10 minutes. As a as a couple to go through this every day and even if your spouse says you are not interested, you can do this on your own and find a way to be praying specifically biblically informed prayers for your kids at again weight whether five or whether there 25 there is not a outcome. One of my least a expiration date on women, parents can quit praying for the goods but I just read today's date and then your inside. Here's what I read the story that many of us know Stephen getting stoned in the book of acts in your prayer ended up somewhere. I never expected to go in this so great inside. It was like whether Saul watching this inner prayer for your child is God through your Holy Spirit. Would you speak and convict my son, my daughter get truth into them. Like Saul Saul's watching this man get bartered for his faith and something happened. Holy Spirit move in such a way that later. Saul becomes Paul and writes you know and to live chasing size what were an insight that somewhere I would've typically gone with that story.

Yet when you think about that and praying for your children. Wow. And that could be a prayer for anybody who really could like the idea to of. I could see you and I doing it, but I can also see doing this with my friends of calling each other and saying hey, this is less pray over this fire kids today. I have three friends and we thin fasting and praying. One day a week for our kids for probably 12 years, and so we text each other our prayer request for the day and we each take a turn each week. This week it will be my friend, Michelle Stern, so will pray for her all day but I like your idea of having this prayer based on the Scripture that we read that day's a great idea. Did you spend your writing listed you almost each day, passing through it how to do.

How did you do it probably spent nine months ending unthinking with a lot of tears and I was like birthing a baby is not much was the appropriate time Brian and I did this because I needed and I mean you read those prayers and thinks they're really healthier for your kids and I really hope that I can tell you that you know as I wrote each one was for our child and you know I will go deeply into it, but I just have to Sadie. I remember maybe a year after this book came out in your member I told you about how one thing I saw was over and over again that the prayer would be that God would give my child a love for his word and can just admit that a lot of these prayers that were all prayed. First of all, for my own child. A lot of times I didn't have the faith to believe that God would answer I'd like to say I did. I should know by now they just seem too big. Some of them just seem to think and I'll never forget that about a year and have this book came out.

The sun came down he works her husband works in the house every day and he, he handed me a piece of paper on which he had printed the text of Philippians 1. I said hey mom, which help me memorize Philippians 1 were memorizing it together in the Bible study and I just had to step into the pantry and kind of get some good little choked up know all my goodness and I just I just thought about.

Although all those prayers like that that had written that I honestly didn't have the faith to believe sir.

And in that day. Those things came together for me that since of here. God has time and you know I just cannot tell you that wasn't about the example of his mom and dad are in something, and he did it in his timing through the people that he intended it wasn't anything I manipulated, I could manipulate to make better content, but I do believe for some reason, God works through our prayer.

I can explain it wouldn't be the way I would do it but that's the way God has chosen to do it and so that it's one of many prayers in there that I am seeing answered and I would say just hearing that story for a listener out there right now just go on. I've given up. Don't give up if I felt that we've all felt that his parents since like keep asking, keep going to your knees you believing in general, when or how or what you don't have any idea what you know the God who can do it and just keep asking a few weeks ago, I found this box that I had forgotten about it was a box right take strips of paper and write my prayer request down a Truman is settled like this little wooden box and I came across it had all these prayers and I realize I forgot my kids knew about the box in they would put prayer requests into because they saw that I was praying and I pulled them out in nine and I wept of how many of those prayers have been answered over the years that at the time. I really didn't have the faith to believe either that that God would answer them. And yet there were so many that I saw God's faithfulness not only to us but to our kids.

He's faithful, it's what we talked about earlier adheres prayers. I remember reading an essay years ago where something CS Lewis had written and he was asking the question. If God is all-knowing and all loving library is going to do what is going to do.

Why pray and loose his answer was why brief.

He said if if God wants air in your lungs. Why do you brief. They said you believe because you were designed to brief you brief because that's what humans do. It's a part of God's design that you brief.

Why pray it's because you were designed to pray and it's what children of God do they pray and so trying to figure out how or why it all works together dull disclosures over the corner and maybe go crazy overtime run, but you pray because it's what you do. It's what you're made to do and I think about a God like this.

The walks. You day by day through and helps prompt you to pray and helps you think biblically about what you're gonna pray. I think that just helps you be the person God's created you to be Nancy, thanks for taking time to help us think about how we can teach our kids to pray about.

We could do a better job praying for my joy to do that. We have got copies of both of these books what every child needs to know about prayer and praying through the Bible for your kids book by Nancy Guthrie you can go to our family life today resource Center to order from us on one. Our website is family life today.com or call to order one 800 FL today again the website is family life today.com our number to call is one 803 586-329-1800 F as in family L as in life and in the word today the course. Sunday is Mother's Day and I hope you have paid attention to that. Getting something for your mom if your husband make sure your kids are honoring mom on Sunday the course. Our hope your family life is that throughout the week, actually throughout the year.

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