Hospitality In the Hard Times

Morgan Tyree remembers learning a lot about hospitality about being a good neighbor from the example of another family. She knew they would call a campfire outdoor fire pit down their driveway and just bring a bunch of smart staff and people out of their evening locks are just passing by at a time to come and have us more make a smart and so that's me just says simple doesn't really require much effort and it's also just reaching out to your neighbors, which I think we need to do more of him. This is family life today. Our hosts are David and will somehow bubble pain. You can find us online. The family life today.com maybe s'mores in the front yard is not your thing, not the way for you guys to do hospitality but there is a way.

We'll talk about some of those options today and welcome to family life today.

Thanks for joining us guys don't have any plans tomorrow night Mary and I would want to see if you get for dinner.

We would love to have your the house. She's feeling guilty how now I'm not feeling threatened spectacular and I look, I just would ask if you asked Marion this. I texted her that I have heard back yet. I think she put it on mute when she got the test know we'd love to have you over for dinner. Cannot do anything you just talk about it and let me know okay whatever works out best for you. Very much like you he's asking us as were doing what was that mean honey. Dave usually asked me the most pertinent unknown questions when were on face. We have been known, there is the essence of his soul in front of house is like you never told me this in our family room with one of the things we are talking about this week is hospitality that Morgan Tyree is driving us to talk about this Morgan welcome back thinking that Morgan has written a very just think about it like Jesus is in the room and say you're just playing out to the Queen of hospitality is you want to come over about what he's never asked is ever more good is a book called your hospitality personality. She is apparently the Queen of hostility is just said that everybody who's around or just has to kind of performing Our game do we do up again. Did you take the test in your book.

Correct.

Yes, that it's it helps you determine which is your hospitality personality which I think some fascinating concept that were not all wired the same when it comes to hospitality you haven't. Take a look now.

I have been by the way, this is on your website we get a link@familyliketoday.com summary wants to see what their hospitality scenarios to but as you read her something that's okay know he could interrupt me. I'm very open and comfortable and relaxed with whatever signal hit me. When you look at the four hospitality personality and will explain what those are. What are those again said there is the leader of the director of the entertainer the include her and the organizers of the leaders, the person who says I'm in charge of things. The entertainers say let's all will all have fun. The enclosure is look around and said we want to make sure that everybody is happy and the organizers going. We don't have enough paper plates okay so you hear that right and you sort of self test yourself. What I I'm probably a mix of of leader, entertainer, I think if if I I'm probably gonna be more on the entertainers side, although I think I know what makes a better party than you do in charge of it.

I should be in charge and that I should entertain you when you come. That's what I does that sound like 19 does anybody really get your really good with throwing people out my sins. When you keep doing this which suddenly went on to her really good at is well arguing entertainer you think so, but Dave is such a slider and so I'm always trying to shift to find my place and asking a lot of questions and dates telling a lot of stories. I'm guessing you are. Also included are your looking around and going to do.

I want to make sure everybody like if somebody hasn't been ask a question or drawn in the conversation think Dave you need to be quiet now question because that person hasn't talked all night. The rest of the day. The plan is doing the two of you is no, I mean it has to end up doing the latter, which is where we get into conflicts with anything more to be itching to hear this because when we do have people I'm I'm okay. I want a father like this to just about nothing. Just enjoy and laugh and talk about sports or whatever and is can be frustrated if we don't go somewhere like a little deeper. You know we had a always a good player over who is now on TV as you are the chaplain for years for the Detroit Lions so you know a lot of guys who are in the Chrysler. He was a player with straight lines at the time and his wife came over. I think the rookie year of something if they are there. It was their first year of marriage, and I had gotten to know his wife and she was great and she was really hoping their marriage would go in a certain place and so I just started asking questions like how he's doing first year can be great hard to do like how are you doing kind of question is that the dinner table that I look over this player mayyou know in 40 years. I look over Chris and he's like just frozen. I can tell he is uncomfortable with this question now is wife is loving it, and Ian keeps going like telling more like a scale 1 to 10 what your marriage rate. He literally got up and left. He walked in the other room except I have going on the in the family room. I go crisply doing so uncomfortable. This is not something I want to talk about. He was pacing as a guy after the game would pace around the locker room is just a harvest I got there very very gifted.

What he didn't life in our broadcaster but I mean it was obvious that that we went too far. I didn't go too far to find my voice assuming everybody wants to go that far, but they don't and so I think yeah that wasn't be inhospitable anything. I think that it's important to pick up on. If someone is fine uncomfortable sweat didn't sign the car and drive away mean there's some obvious signs want to pay attention for sure but I think that will make mistakes over and do things that we are intentional but I think it's rolling through that and I think your heart was in the right place or just trying to engage and connect which is what he wanted to embed knowing ourselves and also knowing what our guests need from us or maybe knowing their background. Anything we can know ahead of time can help us know how to navigate what we do when were in the moment, so if year and include her and what is your husband.

The primary organizer said he's an entertainer and so how does that work together. Tell me what is going to look like me doing all the details resentful and you have like a degree in organizing right well business degree, but I have been organizing since I was yummy down what your website is with me.

That's right, get organized yet so I'm a planner I'm detailed and actually he is really hands-on. He's a cut to but what's funny is that he is very focused on getting the right playlists together. I would never like music. But why do we need music meeting at the ice and he's over there because you know he's more outgoing and interact entertaining elders things in there and there's a starvation. The but this is the best synopsis of us as we were at work Christmas party and he and he loves to dance, which I use you but he's another level he starts doing like a Michael Jackson hole thanks really dancing together. It's apparently I can't match that slip back and move away.

I find a seat.

He continues on so what my brain is that I think I was attracted to that because it softens me. I never have to worry about the conversation being kept alive because he he could talk to anyone all day long. Right. I can converse too but I think we've really signs team sort of how we host together and we do have to have conversations around how much because my threshold might be a little more less than his will say so, but I do think the overall company each other. I noted anybody get at the end of the evening and say to you at the door as they're leaving loved your playlist never had anyone say that usually it's too loud to he just plays like the sound. It will date were talking or even having this conversation and days listening to music, write anything if people are talking hit the table like you're not listening. Sounds like you have been able to celebrate each other's roles and differences I think actually has really helped us host more and we lived overseas for three and half years and there was a span we had houseguests for months. I want to say it felt like for five months and it was so enjoyable. We have the right layout for it but I can. I think our personalities really confirmation that I think that's what I want to encourage people to do is if you're hosting with a friend or a spouse to look for someone that can help complement you if there's areas that are less natural for you because it will only build your confidence and help you hopefully enjoy the time or when you're enjoying yourself more intimate have more to give to the people they are celebrating with interesting spiritual gift. I can thinking at first Peter 49 311 says offer hospitality to one another without grumbling each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others. Faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever so I don't think we always look at hospitality as a spiritual gift like this is surveying.

This is loving this is something Jesus would do absolutely also sounds like though if you called a gift. You can say I don't have a gift you like evangelism and yet were all called as follows Christ to be evangelist. I may not think I have the gift of hospitality but I'm called to do it right and I can true yesterday that says whatever gift you have received to serve others.

I think that speaks so that we all have gifts to give to others and and how we shop for others. What goes on to say, the one who speaks let him speak. The one who serves. Let them serve unthinking hospitality were speaking and serving her to be going on throughout the evening. You're using your gifts in that environment.

I'm thinking when I was growing up. If my parents had somebody over for dinner. It was typically somebody who I think the idea was having them over might help with the work scenario you know will have this personal will do a nice meal all impress the boss all get the promotion, so there was a self-serving motivation for having people over him and in your home, so that's all.

My parents ever did.

But I think it was more culturally. The idea that if you like it hadn't in the workplace.

You better have somebody you have the boss over for dinner and and show them but your wife's great cook.

I don't know what that had to do anything but what were saying is that there is a motivation for hospitality. That is another focused motivational mother centered motivation that is a ministry oriented motivation where we are to speak and serve and love and grow in community and grow in concern and care for one another where it's not about me trying to impress you. It's about me trying to care for you and love you and I love that it's included in the spiritual gifts because it's a way to bring glory to God. It's a way to create healthiness in the body of Christ and community in the body of Christ. You also talk about hospitality habits and are setting being open or closed. Home. What is that mean I broke down and there's different seasons, I think, or sometimes you may need to have more of a close time or more of an open home, and even just within your own personal style or personality and so an open home is can it be shared about that we are in a season where that's very much what's happening with teenagers coming and going with trying to really create a home that says were open. We want teenagers and here we want your messes when eating Smurf red chili want our home to be a place it's just a place they can come and drop by, so that's an open yes old home and not that you have to have a revolving door with an up and how that Oppenheim says I want people in my home. I want them over were close time would be maybe with your in a season where you know she's had real young children and you're just exhausted or you are in big life transition just vaguely aware of. If you're ready to open your home is at the right season of life for you. There is times where maybe for going to a crisis having more of a close time for your own health and well-being is is okay to sell as you talk about whether your home is open or closed. If you have kids that are saving teenagers or 10-year-olds.

Is that a conversation you have is a family redrawing your kids into this. I think it's a really good idea.

And especially also knowing your kids kind of what their personalities are and what they want because some kids are to be more prone I and I notice my own home.

Some are more prone to bring in all the people in and I have another child is like I hardly see his friends.

Yes, of knowing your kids that communicating to them what you want your house to be patient you Exactly. I think as I mentioned earlier how we view hospitality as children are what we grow up, then we will tend to carry forward so I do think it's important for parents to think of how do I model hospitality and how to raise my home. Yeah, I mean the question would be, you know, open home when I hear the term right now. During a pandemic of Michael were not allowed to wear off close gift to become yeah yeah so how do you practice hospitality in the middle of a pandemic and I did not plan to write about social distancing and staying 6 feet apart so it's tough my new territory but I think it's interesting about the new limitations is that it's showing how much we need connection community. The virtual things that have taken off the ways people are still creatively finding ways to connect so I would say with said with limitations we have dial up your creativity and get creative.

I think that using technology as a tool is a great tool and just showing up for people whether that's virtually or dropping summing up on their doorstep. There's a lot we can do safely. So I think that's back to just remembering people and saying I see you and I know you and also acts of service great time.

If you live in a snowy climate maybe the best in a show somewhere on your street and again I can be. Secret hospitality which I think is really fun to put fishing in your five sora hospitality habits. We just talk about first one setting open or close the second one you call scheduling planning or spontaneity. The other day some of our friends who we been friends in their lives in our neighborhood for what 25 years. They just decided last year got caught on the move to Atlanta. God did not call them away from us, but I get a text Saturday and said hey how about a date tonight like what was his get on. So let's hang out and we did.

We set our galaxy set in a couple hours we talked for two hours so that was a planned yes sorta spot. It was a day but so talk about that because were not greatest planters in the world. Montane is both right and how's that work putting on a continuum in a one on one and one on the other, and I think there's a place for both and I think it's important to tap into scheduling intentionally at times and this is again assuming we can gather what what have you back. It can be really common to save yourself.

We need to have someone so overall, I need to make sure and do that but it started day remains a thought and not a planned activity. So I would just say if you're working on being more intentional with hospitality scheduling. It can be very helpful, but then also, don't miss the spontaneous opportunities as well yeah and you mentioned your kids they're wired totally different that way I would definitely one runs out the door to find her shoes only. We all have some of his red and let me ask you this because we haven't talked that it's it's one year five versus extrovert introvert and can be easily just think hospital people are always extroverts not hospitable or introvert. Is that true is connected extroverts yet they gain energy biting on people's a lot times we may think that they're the real natural hosting types that introverts have a real strength and connecting one online in being very other centered and being very focused on people so I can just really knowing how you're hardwired, how you respond in social situations can be really helpful to know what's has a group maybe you felt most comfortable and and and then also whoever your hosting with considering that takes. I know for myself being more introverted. I've really realized I can do better as far as showing up in relating authentic with people if it's the right size of group or I should say a smaller size group for me. Just because if it's a table of 8 to 10 people. I'll just sort of become quieter. You know, just by by the minute natural personality. I like that you gave some illustrations to even planning spontaneity you talk about your friends. April and Abby tell the listeners what they did. Yeah II just so they will in the summer times and again this is when things were not restrictive, but they would pull a campfire outdoor kind of fire pit out in their driveway and just bring a bunch of smart stuff and that people are out in the evening walks. Or just happen to be passing by.

They invite them to come and have us more make us more and so that's me just is simple, it doesn't really require much effort and it's also just reaching out to your neighbors, which I think we need to do more of him that we were walking couple months ago when it was warm in Michigan that is several times one of our neighbors as younger kids don't even know that welders quite a ways down that I think about every Friday night they put a projector screen in their yard and we will combine their shown frozen in half the neighborhood with little kids are there and these are people they don't even so, you, you know, it is an invite only anybody – a lot of families are distancing from one another and they all bring their own snacks and they all bring their own lawn chairs, but it was really cool just to see that it was something that was intentional become this habit of every Friday night they are they are most the kids in the neighborhood but a great thing to look forward to for them to even talk.

One your habits is sharing giving or receiving. You read the story about the woman coming in braiding your hair in the hospital like wait a minute that's going too far course I have nowhere to break tell us what that meant he won't get about one it's interesting that has been a story that I've had many, many people comment on that. That's what really touch them. It's interesting what residents of people so Jamie is a good friend of mine and her family were living away side and have family or friends nearby are anyone close and I had my second child and she came to the hospital and was just showing up and she also watched our daughter while we were in the hospital. She was just there for everything that she offered to braid my hair which I can be a little more of a private reserve person and it felt vulnerable excess like okay I have two sisters because she's a friend and and and I let her and it just it just there so much love and care that swept over me because she just was sensing as another young mom and she's just trying to be there for me and just care for me and love on me that I just love that example that it didn't take her much effort or planning sheet just was there for me and then to hear people be touched by that story.

People that have hair it's beautiful because I think it made me feel unknown. In this sense, like she just wanted to be there for me and she was stepping in for my sister is in a sense on my mom. I think that's so sweet and vulnerable heart because to ask Indian it could be awkward right but I love that even I remember last Christmas. Of course, everything feels so different with COBIT because now I'm thinking I would never do that.

I remember you know the Salvation Army bellringers and just had this sense that I saw this person I thought is so delighted with her and I had the sense that I should just hug her and thank her like you doing this you have here in its freezing in Michigan and I just had this sense of God pulling me to really notice her and see her and so then I go into this dialogue with God like a hugger that's beer you know and she'll think I'm weird and but I had that sense and I did end up going to talk to her but I I love that connection with God of God, how love people.

How can I see people how can I minister to people in so passionate about bringing her kids into that like to talk talk at you kite. How can we love people today, and even putting eyes on them at St. Jesus, help us to see people today I'm making like Dave hates us because I'm always lying to give money away. Of course I like to give your kids five dollars and let's pray this week. More today. As we go into the mall like is there anyone that can't just push puts on your heart to give something to her to say something to well I think your support hospitality. We tend to think of it as an activity you it's really hard orientation.

Yeah it's it's living life with the perspective that says I need to be aware of who God has in my path in my neighborhood around me who are the people who I could talk to and care for and minister to lifestyle, walking by the way, or having them over for dinner or writing their hair or whatever it is I just I want real quickly see if I can just get Mariam here in the conversation produce a certain find out about dinner tomorrow night. See if this is gonna work on this call bold this is what not to do to your wife. I love that you think this is this is a battle you really: Marion right now. She picks up. You know she may look at this gonna call him just. Lauren is more introverted issues to bring America back on my memo get to it. She's probably going on. The pic of you as I about this now to call back okay okay what did you text her I texted her and said what you think about having the Wilson's over for dinner tomorrow you know about that Dave has never mentioned anything about having dinner with you. She said I would love to actually she said okay that's what you said and then she just texted brownies and peppermint chocolate chip ice as far as I've gotten, but it's the best part of the meal so like she's hello this. There we go about this hospitable person I've ever known sweet foods because I read the book boarded. Thank you.

Thanks for being here and thanks for helping one goes the role of this. Hopefully in the midst of all of this, every one of us is that okay I need to get out of myself a little bit more and just be alert to the people around me and think how can I express God's love to them through me. Thank you for this thinking, we mentioned the quiz which is available online. You can go to our website. Family life to the.com for more information on how you can take the hospitality personality quiz and we're making your book. Your hospitality personality available. The family luck today listers today. Those of you who want to support the ongoing work of this ministry you want to vote in favor of what family life to the is all about practical biblical help and hope marriages and families so that we effectively develop godly marriages and families would change the world one home at a time when you make a donation today to help extend the reach of this ministry, we will send you a copy of Morgan Tyree's book, your hospitality personality is our thank you gift the subtitle is how to confidently create connection and community go online@familylifetothe.com to donate or call one 800 FL today to donate. Either way, you should ask for your copy of Morgan's book.

When you make a donation again. The website is family life today.com or you can call 1-800-358-6329 to donate at one 800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today and with that we can wrap things up for today.

Thanks for being with us. Hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to join together with your brothers and sisters in worship this weekend in your local church and I hope you can join us back on Monday when working to talk about how we can push each other's buttons in marriage and I we could just be aware of the fact that were doing that and maybe do a little less or not get triggered when it happens guy and Amber Leal will be here to talk about that with us.

We hope you can be here as well.

Think our engineer today. Keith Lynch got some extra help today from Bruce Goff course our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson. I'm Bob Payne. See you back next time for another edition of family life today.

Family life today is a production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas crew ministry help for today hope for tomorrow