Voddie Baucham on Forgiveness

Forgetting another person is not optional for someone who is a follower of Christ.

Bully Baucom says there are a lot of people who just don't understand forgiveness really is forgiveness means not give up my writing to punish you for what you did if you know if I come over your house and are not overlapping that I bring the lamp you look at me and you say to forgive you and then you say that will be hundred $95.

You didn't really forgive me because you're making me pay. Forgiveness is a cancellation of debt.

This is family life today. Our hosts are Damon and Wilson and Bob Lapine combined the sunlight of family life today.com we hear from voting Baucom today about what forgiveness is and what it isn't. Stay with us and welcome to family life today.

Thanks for joining us. I remember this was a couple years ago Mary and I were walking off the boat after one of our love liking the marriage cruise events which by the way were kicking off the registration for next February's crew is because everybody is ready to get out get back on the boat and have another marriage crucible were getting off the boat and the people with the cruise line are there as you're getting off the point you to where your luggage is as you get off right. I and this one person who worked for the cruise line just had this perplexed look on her face that I said what's wrong and she does what's the deal with you all similarly mean she's a doing this for a while and most people who are getting off the cruise are dragging and grumpy and she said honestly hung over and Henri. She said you're all getting up your smiling at each other.

You're laughing your the nicest people we've ever seen, get off of a cruise by Sobotka.

What just happened in the last seven days on this cruise yeah what happens in I don't think we a lot of us know it's going to happen, but here marriage changes mean getting you get a vacation. It's funny laugh. You had a great time, music, entertainment, but God shows up it's pretty amazing. I didn't know that was going to happen either. But every cruise we been on we come off with a smile. We make sure on the cruise that there is a lot going on, both speakers, musicians, artists, events bawled on options of what you can and want to do right. We start each day with devotions and I remembered this was almost a decade ago we had a devotion was really unforgettable from voting Baucom and many of our listers. Nobody in fact many of you know that Bodie is getting some some healthcare. He is, but extrinsic heart failure and we want you to join us in praying for Bodie and Bramlett God would sustain him and restore him to full health, but Bodie is an author.

He's a speaker is actually involved now in a seminary in Zambia in Africa. But on this particular cruise. He's been with us three or four times on the cruise.

This particular cruise. He did a morning devotion on forgiveness that was powerful.

It was riveting. All of us in the room could think there have been those things in your marriage that you allowed to accumulate, and you think, well, just overlook that but it just sticks with you and if it sticks with you, you're not really overlook about this message will be helpful to get it really will. And this was it was a powerful morning when he shared that in some to share this message from voting. From Ephesians chapter 4 just a sample of what happens on board the love liking me to marriage cruise every year and we hope a lot of you will join us next February and be on the cruise with us. So here's our friend. Voting Baucom talking about forgiveness this morning I was looking Ephesians chapter 4 almost look specifically at the last verses there in Ephesians chapter 4 of us as we do hope less There sort of bring this in the context pay attention mainly to verse 32 Ephesians 432 kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other as God in Christ also forgive you.

And usually we to shorten that for case it's the kind to one another. Don't don't hit your brother with the Legos.

That's not time your hand but not with the legal beginning in verse 25. Before having put away falsehood.

Let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry and do not send to not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil… Is no longer steel, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Now usually get to it. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice is free to sport together. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you as God in Christ forgave you. Let me say several things about forgiveness and the time that we have left here that I think will be helpful for us all as we move forward we have to learn to forgive. On wheat we live closer to one another than to any other human beings on earth.

And when you live in close proximity to another human being, your relationship will even be filled with forgiveness. This that's it. And if we are going to last.

It needs to be filled with the former and not the latter. First thing was about forgiveness.

Is this is that forgiveness our giving of forgiveness to another is rooted in the forgiveness that we have received from Christ. Now that sounds simple and straightforward. But there's a theological principle.

There. That is extremely important. It's also the principle of hermeneutics that I want to share with you now.

There's two moods that only teach you in the Greek language you know you you you have certain moods like the indicative mood and an imperative mood now indicative if I'm using the indicative mood and indicating what something is.

So I would say that is a bottle of water. That's it indicative indicating what it is that is the towel over indicative FSA pick up a bottle of water. That's an imperative phosphate pick up the tile.

That's an imperative pay indicative of indicating what something is imperative I'm I'm giving a command I now in the indicative, when we read the special reading here in the New Testament, and while we were dealing with Ephesians indicative's tell us what God has done on our behalf in Christ for our redemption and his glory.

It's indicating who we are in Christ. The imperatives careful missile.

The imperatives tell us what we are empowered and commanded and able to do because of the indicative's you have to understand that what these things are linked inextricably. The imperatives that's what were empowered and commanded to do because of the indicative. If you separate the indicative's in the imperatives you get works righteousness and unfortunately that's the way we use this passage with our kids because there's an indicative M imperative here indicative the indicative is you are forgiven in Christ that enables and empowers and motivates you to give the kind of forgiveness that you been commanded to give the first part of the verse.

If you separate the indicative of the imperative all you have is pure law and usually that's what we give our kids be kind to one another. It's pure law. There is no gospel there at all, is pure law and if they do it and strive for their striving for works righteousness, and you are undermining the gospel that you want them to receive and walk it is most evident so it's the forgiveness of your spouse then from from permissible passage in this regard is rooted then in your experience of forgiveness from Christ. That's important for number of reasons.

Because if that's the case, and it is in your wrong about forgiveness then you are not going to be secure in your salvation. Why, if on the type of person that doesn't forgive that forgives begrudgingly in the gospel is all about how Christ has forgiven me for not always worry that Christ gets tired of forgiving me like I get tired of forgiving you see people wrestle with unforgiveness usually wrestle with the idea of eternal security is the very definition of forgiveness does not match what we find the gospel. Here's the other thing and I want to say this as gently as I can. If you are a person who's not forgiving, then you are actually a disobedient, arrogant hypocrite who does not appreciate body of Christ. I love you.

Why disobedience because you commanded to do it.

So if you don't forgive your spouse you're in sin because you been commanded to forgive by the way, difficult first understand that was no forgiveness is right. Forgiveness is a cancellation of debt. That's what it means forgiveness means I give up my right to punish you for what you did if you know if I come over your house and on the overlap and I break the lamp you look at me and you say it's okay I forgive you and then you say that will be hundred $95.

You didn't really forgive me because you're making me pay. Forgiveness is a cancellation of debt that why is this important to remember our experience of forgiveness is rooted in our understanding of the forgiveness that we received in Christ.

If I am a person that doesn't understand forgiveness as a cancellation of debt and forgiveness just means I say I forgive you, but I still make you pay.

They might understand the salvation is going to be the same, then my forgiveness from God is something that doesn't cancel that I still have to work to earn that which have already been given and it's all rooted in the fact that I do not comprehend this concept of forgiveness delivered at first point, these things are linked inexorably. It's a cancellation of debt. That means if I say to my wife. I forgive you, but then we have an argument like a couple days later and I bring it back up now I'm punishing you. When I said I give up my right to do so. Which means I live. If the debt is canceled cancel given first love would not forgiving when not obedient.

Secondly, for not forgiving where arrogant is why, because basically here's what I say.

If I'm not forgiving. Is this a marriage day is what I say.

If I'm not forgiving life. What I say. If I'm not forgiving my wife is this all those things that I have done to offend God.

Those things are absolutely forgivable because that's how good God is. However, my standard is higher than God's standards.

Although he can forgive you. I can't arrogant dog could send his son to die for that sin that you committed against him.

But that's not good enough for me.

You can be right with the creator of the universe spoke the world into existence ought to have consumed you with fire last night because what you thought said and did on yesterday and the God of the universe, according to his standard can receive you nonetheless. And not only receive you, Christ and killed his only begotten son for that sin that you committed God can do that. My standard is high.

That's the height of arrogance is also hypocrisy you come to me with forgive me but I just I just you know what, I just don't think I can. I'm just sorry that you hurt me.

I still think I can in here I go, and I do something 10 times worse not to speak again not when is it 10 times worse.

Remember the magnitude of my sin is significant because of the matted magnitude of the one against whom I sent you silicates may use it against the finite simple human being accept gifts God gives God and so it's actually worse you come to me. I'm still no what do I say I come before my heavenly father that I confess it, that out of rid of it and I know God, thank you so much for your forgiveness. You hypocrite. Finally, I'm despising the body. Why, because I am saying of a member of Christ's body that what he says of them is not true. Your forgiven sinner. No actually do not know QC no actually see I am really because what happened was God who gave his only begotten son lay down his life on the cross for my sin. Hee hee. Forgive me, forgiven, no I actually do not know really what I see you cross the blood Jesus you know forgiven.

No, actually not on will have to see a way because I thought you said that you were actually a child of God. Justification, option, sanctification waiting on your glorification, which means that you are in the family of the one who gave me and I'm telling you what your daddy said about me and you say in that your daddy is wrong. So why don't we forgive McGee release. One reason we don't forgive is because we do not comprehend the gospel when I am constantly and consistently reminding myself of the price that was paid for my sin when I'm constantly and consistently rejoicing in and praising God for the forgiveness that is mine in Christ I can. Not harbor unforgiveness. You I can't do it when I am constantly burdened down under the weight of the Majesty of the forgiveness that I have received what I am constantly reminded that the precious spotless sinless Lamb of God with Christ and killed, crucified at the will of his own father and that perfect life was exchanged for mine.

It is impossible for me to continue to harbor unforgiveness toward you if you were harboring unforgiveness. I will point you back to the gospel. If you were harboring unforgiveness. I want to point you back to Christ. Secondly, I harbor unforgiveness because I'm wrong about the definition of forgiveness. For example something to hold onto unforgiveness because you believe that forgiveness means just forget that common cultural saying, but is not Bible it says that God tests are citizens of the sea of forgetfulness. Yes, see you and him and literally what that means is God casts off the punishment do to your sins. When you understand forgiveness means public.

It's not the beauty of forgiveness. The beauty of forgiveness is not that you can't remember what happened the beauty of forgiveness is that in spite of the fact that you remember I may never forget you give up your right to punish.

That's the beauty of forgiveness. The other myth that we believe is it only extend forgiveness to someone when they ask for it is the danger in that one. If you follow them through to its logical conclusion, and you don't really believe that Jesus Christ has forgiven you for all sins, past, present and future. You believe actually that you only staying in heaven.

If you have managed to recognize record and repent of every sin that you ever committed because if you don't recognize record and repent of everything that you committed. That means that you go to stand before God with a record of sins for which you have not repented and if forgiveness is only extended when it asked for. Specifically, you can't be saved is the other problem with that idea.

If forgiveness means that I am actually forgoing my right to punish you and you believe that you could only forgive when people specifically asking for forgiveness. I feel sorry for you because that makes you the judge of the universe must punish sin, unless and until forgiveness is requested that the heavy burden and in fact some of you are carrying that burden in your marriage there so many who believe that you have to mistreat ignore and punish your spouse so that you can bring them to repentance is the Holy Ghost just can't do it.

Do you know that already today. You've experienced forgiveness for things that you didn't even know were sinful, but those things have been paid for Christ. Okay, what time is gone there other myths and then we'll talk about this myth that some of the time. For now, here's what I want you to say we walked in here for most of us wouldn't have this these categories of indicators and imperatives and all we had was the kind one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other's will evince diverse just the kind and forgive and if so, you have been wrestling with that strong that you been trying to figure out how to go inside here and grab a hold of something that's inside here I can make you more forgiving person. If you hear anything else today here this being forgiving doing company grabbing something that's inside here it comes from you receiving something from out there. This is about who you are in Christ and this is about living in relationship with others in the light of and because of what God in Christ has done in and to, and for you. Now go forgive because you forgiven and think about it document and a message from one of our love, like you mean the marriage cruises a few years ago just a solid reminder that this is what were commanded to do in Christ forgiveness for a Christian is not one of those things. Maybe I should do that know you like yeah this is a command of Scripture. In fact, those words from Jesus that if you fail to forgive your heavenly father won't forgive you. It doesn't mean your salvation is conditional, but it means if you're not a forgiving person you need to examine and see it go. I really know Jesus because forgiven people forgive people, it should be one of the greatest signs that I'm a Christ follower in the nonchurch. The world should look at the church people and go how can they be so forgiving. I'm not sure that's what they think at this point, but that's a saying if we can do it in a marriage is working. We do it think the thing that brings is freedom When you don't forgive someone, it's like hot steam. You carry it with you wherever you go. Let's release that only the Holy Spirit can help us to do that and do it through ask there is freedom.

And it's pretty great experience. So just imagine that it's the middle of February and it's cold where you live, but not where you are because it's a warm day in the sunshine on the love like you made a marriage cruise you start your day with the devotional like that throughout the day you're with friends. I guarantee everybody you meet on the cruise is a friend as soon as you meet a snake as you just readjust your in line waiting for food, you just strike up a conversation and everybody's there for the same reason is partly because I have an ice cream cone and there you go through the day you got an evening session there's another great message. There are concerts going on that night. There is an illusionist there is a comedian.

I'm in the just all the stuff thrown in at the end of the week your relaxed your refreshed you had a great time and your buildup with what God's word has to say about marriage. We we are hoping and actually it's it's starting to look like. This is good happen pretty quickly that the February 2022. Cruise is going to sell out what we have a lot of listeners who are get in touch with us and saying we cannot wait. So if you have any interest in joining us on the love like you made a marriage cruise in February 2022. If you have questions or want more information or if you want to reserve your cabin go to family life today.com now maybe best to call us at one 800 FL today and talk with somebody who can answer any questions you have get you set up for the cruise over the phone. Again, the number one 800 FL today, one 803 586-329-1800 F as in family L as in life than the word today or again you can get more information@familylifetoday.com but make plans to join us can be a great getaway next Valentine's Day Valentines week the love like you mean it marriage cruise again. More information is available@familylifeto.com or call one 800 FL today that tomorrow we are going to talk about what grace looks like in a marriage relationship because the truth is, a lot of us want grace to be a part of our marriage. When we've done something wrong but we have a different standard. When our spouse does something wrong, then it's all about the law really hear from pastor and author Kevin Dion about that tomorrow. Hope you can be with us for that think our engineer today. Keith Lynch got some special help from Bruce Goff and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our hosts Dave and Ann Wilson and Bob Payne see you back next time for another edition of family life today. Family life to day is a production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas. The crew ministry help for today hope for tomorrow