The Power of a Wife’s Affirmation

Every wife has an awesome power is the power of influence hears and Wilson know what it's like to be me, please have our mom cheering for me. Also, every Saturday people that you universe soon you and your ego and then we get married. This is family like today by the someone of family life today.com how are you stewarding the awesome power you have as a wife to encourage to motivate build up your husband to hear more about that today from this welcome to family life today. Thanks for joining us today is equal time day time. Yet equal time, so we've all heard from you this week about what real manhood is all about is done with me now as we heard a part of a message from one of our love, like you mean it.

Marriage cruises and were doing that because this week we are letting our listeners know we are cruising yesterday we had the wind will be blowing through my hair on the top deck of that love like you mean it, but if you have here. That would be true for your leasing we we are so excited about the fact that after having to cancel for a year were back and it looks like everything is full speed ahead. All systems go for the cruise in 2022 going. We have open registration. People are already booking their state rooms.

A lot of people are like, we cannot wait. Can we do it in September instead of Alan that you may think is not going to sell out because you know we had a covert but it's fine is Kinsella you better get your ticket yeah you can go to family life today.com for more information about the cruise and find out how you can sign up right now.

This week the best price available for the cruise you can save $400 per couple off your cabin registration and that's good this week so call us at one 800 I felt the day or go online to find out more about the love like you mean it. Marriage crews working here today a message that you did with the wives on the cruise back a few years ago and we heard from your husband with the guys but you like get together with the women and talking about what God's design for womanhood. I love being with women.

I think part of it is because were all struggling with the same thing we can admit it and we can laugh about it.

We can cry about it, but it is fine and your goal in this message is to talk about how important and how powerful it is for a wife to be committed to supporting, affirming, believing in her husband right where you talk about attitude are words, our actions and how to support and respect our men when it's not always easy to. I really like this. Well it's listening, here's an Wilson talking to women on board the love argument to marriage groups of years back about being together. I have had two brothers and sister and we had boy so there were 12 boys between estrogen is one of my favorite pain because I feel like I have anything really that great. Say because when we get together is women. The only one he now going to things I don't fit the mold of the Christian woman only my thing today then Tierney.

It's been a difficult 30 for me learning how to support be very truthful when I was going with this amazing matter.

Christian home my mom was probably the greatest servant I've ever witnessed in my life. She would do for my dad served my he took advantage of her for granted made me angry to him, enabling him to be lazy as I got older I was angry with her doing this for your dad that I saw her as a dorm and respect her for and then when we came to speak for family life.

I was only 29 married 10 years to life 30-year-old I'm getting at here. Addressing women never forget pulling out the notes since the first time studying what I was going to say in figuring out what notes, if you have a mentally can't remember you'll see that one of the first things that we teach them to me like how it said that God has called woman to be a helper to the main keep looking at the word helper and here's I think where the wrong definition for the helper gopher the dirty work for family life like that. I don't get helper you need to understand what the word means completer you help to complete me.

Okay I get that. So this whole journey as you can see by data station easy for me and I seem to be that person learns the hard way to help me and I just do it. I seem to always go the hard so Dave and I been married probably about 15 years 10 to 15 years with speak at our church to script the mothers of preschoolers so I can come with me perspective on marriage and if anywhere. Some totally go off script right so and so day start speaking to hobbies when she's talking know what it's like to be me and here's what happened. Mom and he grew up in a single mom raised a single mom cheering for me so boys are in your minds early thank you and we go into middle school and high school and elementary school.

We start to find good and there's usually someone along the line of teacher culture, something that we start hearing other people never heard they say any of this before… And also people that we are you you all universe you you and your and then we get married this weekend and it feels like walking tour of our homes. Always here is me at this point we might write great communicator on how we feel no fear, anything goes. You continually disappointed you something in your helping you is really truly you hear is to, which takes me on this journey.

Getting the word across Proverbs 21 nine says it's better to live on the corner of the roof, then share a house with a quarrelsome wife in Michigan so I'm imagining when I read this the middle of winter and Dave on the corner of my roof now shattering called their house with me and then I was thinking to.

As I started studying for family life and thinking about what I would say with the speaker.

I remember reading Ephesians 533 love. Ephesians it's the most practical book in the Bible. I feel like one of them because the first three chapters 6 chapters 1st three chapters are all about. This is the truth.

This is who he says we are three chapters are all about practical application of that truth. So here is how to apply the truth so Ephesians we find out what were called to be his women.

Chapter 6 with putting on the armor of God without the armor so Ephesians 533 when it talked about so much how the mansion love his wife. The woman should respect her husband put down in here amplified version because I feel like it's much more direct and descriptive mean respect our husbands, so it the beginning it says. However, each man of you love his wife as his very own self in here to let the wife see that she respects and references her husband is that she notices regards him honors him prefers venerated esteem that she first prayed and love exceedingly well to do that and so I think I want to do what is that look like. First of all I would say this, we can intentionally choose God design or we can unintentionally fall into the cultures that design that you do know what cultures design is there culture tells us 50-50 say that game plan for marriage. I think most people not to say 50-50. Here's the problem here is what I do, even when I know the right way is David doing his part. If he's not giving 50 think he's getting 50 getting 30 so if they're doing so I said I do anything but culture tells us it's all about. And so what is God. Proverbs 14 one says the wise woman builds her house with her own hands.

The foolish one tears it down when I think about that. I think my building my house. What am I doing right now building. Never forget anything.

In one of his married series.

He said you should be able to tell how much God loves him.

By the way you treat him and love him and admired him him how much worse when working the children's wing in the church instead of so much harder.

She should know how much God loves. By the way we treat and let me tell you, in Ephesians 2721 another round of this is the part of the next part is reference for whom for now is her devotion.

It's our way of serving him. So it starts with personal our attitudes. What is respect look like here man demonstrates respect my first about your attitude. Your attitude Ephesians 422 through 24. You are taught with regard to your former way of life.

Look at this part to put off our old self. Why which is being corrupted by people desires to be made.

You in the first what that word.

Two of your mind, and to put on the new self, created to be like in true righteousness and holiness starts where here I'm telling you this is where I feel like the enemy of our soul's sake get this person about our attitude. Do you ever find yourself typing in your head and complaining. I will never forget. I was so mad at David on so much. I felt like he wasn't helping like he wasn't listening to me folding the laundry folding in the whole time I'm building like this whole scenario like me folding like that for me. What would happen if you prayed is much as you complained in your head yet. Talk about conviction. I thought maybe realize how our thoughts and is true because the Bible says that as a man thinks so easy as we think about our husbands, it turns into action, but it starts right here in our minds. I'll never forget hearing the story of shared family life about a reader who is a Navy seal and Dave was trained in explosive Navy SEALs of the best of the best.

He said he was in Vietnam using a riverbank with a phosphorus grenade phosphorus grenade when it blows up it burns said it was in his hand. In this riverbed and he pulled the pin and was about to throw it when the grenade sniper hit the grenade in his hand. And so it blew up in his hand and he fell into the riverbank. He says he recalls watching parts of his face, float down the river and he woke up in an ICU burn unit and he said he remember my roommate beside me with just covered in burns said I'll never forget the day that his wife came into the room of his roommate. She took off her wedding band. When she looked at her husband burn, placed it on his chest and left the room and he said that that man died a few days later, he said, probably thinking is my own wife can't love me and sent me. How will the world be able to accept me.

So he says he recalls the day that his wife Annie would come to see him. He said I was so nervous he could hear her heels clicking down the hallway in his heart. He said he will never forget the day Annie looked at. She bent over and kissed his one good eye and whispered in his nonexistent ear. I love you Davey and he said to me, and it fueled him, he said to want to become a man can still use we don't really influence and that we have is when people used to tell me that I have three grown sons were all married watch influence and power their wives know so they can break them with a look just like here and there like a four-year-old boy. We understand that we have great responsibility that we have chosen you and me know if I can do it sometime apart from so soon because here's the truth we were appalled that this woman took her ring often placed in our husbands chest. But the truth is we reject our every day to file for the first time you reject David every day with all of his scars with all of his flaws. Love the man that he is now. I don't have the power and he says I do I can do that through you what to look like an attitude of unconditional respect. It says that God commands the wife's respect our husbands without conditions, without Ernie got gift to us and comes with the blessing our culture treats men like their stupid and we women can treat men like their stupid when we treat their stupid like their stupid. I think that this is the truth for me. I felt many times this is so embarrassing. I think I sometimes I feel like smarter than Dave. Well I'm just something better or better communicators and rightful as when we treat our husbands like they're not as great as they really are. I read this quote by Stu Weber that a woman can so easily crush me in spirit with the word with the look with a shrug of interest difference person is utterly emasculating and many times incredibly subtle, like a fine and related sites.

Trading the very core of his masculine soul. Those are hard words to hear. Also, Dave and I this is this is just a terrible illustration.

Dave was on the phone.

He made hotel reservations for some friends coming and I was in the other room and I could hear him talking on the phone. I could tell that they lost the reservation. They didn't take the reservation and so they would be really nice. He's like okay well you think there's another room we instantly this is terrible I feel like I can handle this. I will get this done so I need a phone. I know how to get these things done. This is what we do.

You know you know you think you so so so he takes the phone was on the ground he walks out of the room usually do that and I'll tell you here's a first sign that you know that you disrespected your man eat one of two things. Anger or they stonewall.

I don't know any of the stuff back then but I said no, instantly I so disrespected him and he walked around and here's what he says he just cut it off and that's embarrassing to me that I would be so frightful thinking. I'm so done that I would emasculate him at the hotel and power to make him great embarrassed to tell you that story and I apologize to him later because it was so flagrant that I could see it so clearly I mean that I learned the hard way. Sometimes, so how are you doing when you degrade yourself 1155 rate one being not so great how are you doing with your attitude and respecting your husband, mentally think where am I because here's the second one.

It's your audio. In other words, what respect looks like to a man we can share him with our words are audios really are words Ephesians 429 says do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth.

This part but only what is for building others up according to their needs. Those who listen live. It would be so good be so much better off. Ephesians 415 five or so great at speaking the truth just a verbal processor like some of your life that verbally until things come out that I wish I could put so far, so loving that were so caring and were we don't like conflict even if we don't, we are only speaking good words and sometimes we try some of the things we feel we push it down, but I think we need to speak truth meter opinions and thoughts in our what our ideas are, but we need to keep hidden away they receive it. I have learned over the years that I cannot just verbally process when my thoughts are going the day I need to take my file. I need to capture it. Take our thoughts captive right and I need to take it and pray God should I should I say this today. First of all will benefit him will benefit us and then got the okay my neck. Then God help me to pump teaching away that he will build hear me and accept what I say from you. This is so critical below one for him to accept it and know it's so worth it because he hears me. Here's my love and I have to counted in respect as I do respect him.

I think it's so important, so words, what kind of words praising were proud of you.

I believe in you. Your top three words you want three sentences you to ask your husbands what are the things that make you feel respected that when I say them.

They said when you say I believe in you when you say I need you and when you say I want you. Those are the three that he needs and your husband is probably different our husbands. I remember this to like this, words, how hard is it. I was in bed reading when I walked out of the shower he's naked walks across the room. Any looked up when he walks across the room naked like this reading my psych lab even lift your head or care, and we kinda like how could tell that he was little hurt by anything respect feel respect and like the next time you get that us out as his towel around his waist and I lift my head from the book and I look at and I just go home and we were just read and try to be the student, and I remember was 18 and pray that boys before me just say Dave for being the provider in our family. Thank you for supplying all this food on our table and for how what are you doing you know like your dad is amazing how could see the book on love and respect you man proud of you.

I believe in you. Those are things to become your painting or to become.

I never forget this to you because it's worse with our signs. 18-year-old younger son walk in our bedroom when Cody how did you look at you I can't wait to see how he uses you powerful leader yourself every month exiting what five and later he walks back in my room is an 18-year-old crime rate is what you mean. I knew this he been running with this crowd at school. He's a big football player and he's trying to be cool and I could see him going that way been praying psych to be the guy you think I am is true for husbands. The more we keep the picture we see God made them to be the more they want to live up to who we think they are so insecure to be cheering for them with our words and this with the words were silent quiet number one complaint of man. My wife makes too much and talks too much. I don't know if you guys read the book, love and respect.

Emerson says that he did this study with second grade 6th grade 10th grade and 25-year-old on each age group to tip to boys and then to girls of each of those age groups put them in a room with two chairs so we put the two second graders in the room. The two sixth-graders everything the time to when into the realm of boys the boys the chairs were sitting there with the girls first every time the girls walked in, no matter what age. The girls turned chairs to face one another and they taught verbally and expressed communication and they bonded through communication. Every single time the boys walked into the room and €25. They left the chairs facing forward and sat in the chairs sitting shoulder to shoulder, and he still taught, but what they found in the studies with that man on doing things together. Interesting. So in other words, they don't bond through communication. They bond through shoulder to shoulder things that they do together which takes me down to the last point our man long for a cheerleader and they long for respect through our action. Your actions Ephesians 432 says be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you, so how are you doing with your actions and showing respect because with Willard Hartley, he was saying this totally makes sense for golfing day hunting how much talking goes on during some of the things you have coffee doing for four weeks and no I know the name of my friends mother's grandmother's name you know when we verbally communicate the point of this. We just need to keep just do fun things with our husbands when it is a recreational companion through the so funny anymore, so driven by our demands of life we stop talking and having fun together coming here and what football game with me.

Now I'm thinking talk and I'm thinking, shoulder to shoulder with were somehow finding no heavy start making our case and do fun things together because I'm attacked person. So for me to sit down and have fun and I would say this to sax things I've realized for Dave and feel respect, that's an action that shows him. I want you to tell you most things on here. I do my will do some thinking of obedience to God. We need to realize is fairytale that everything we do for Jesus and then hopefully feelings will follow this sectional area surprised Dave with crazy things just to mount garden. I feel like we as women, we get so resentful that we don't make this area priority helps me to get my mind on things. I was teaching Bible study with Allianz life.

This woman had been married when she was celebrating our one-year anniversary and I said what are you doing for the anniversary she's like oh my gosh Carl taking me to this restaurant downtown Detroit limo. You may think, what are you doing for him. I'm gonna go something like go shopping or something you feel comfortable when you feel beautiful and your taste.

And so she bought something and she warred underneath and she called me the next morning she's like oh my gosh, my husband was shocked about because I never do anything like that and he never went to Bible study.

He was not a believer and he said what in the world happened to you. Where did you get this idea. I know this didn't come from. You said it was you to ever miss one of sitting on our accounts (one, he gets a foothold in her teens in our words and actions and what if we surrendered those to Jesus gave them to look like Wednesday night I was asked to speak to the chaplains, the wise in the NFL and so they asked me to go down and I was so excited about excising to get to speak on marriage to get this but this is years ago by Larry Crabb called men and women to enjoying the differences really are is talking about how we think that our manner to meet our needs and needs only to meet our needs. We put all our hope and expectations are supposed to be supposed to be underlining this book is so good. In the meantime I'm writing this same Honda. This kind of redhead life out. Trip is in a month. I think Dave had like found in the light in the car. Could you get that fixed before my trip to see the tightwad and I know he will not want to pay somebody to do it, so he wants to do it himself is like absolutely. I get that done before your trip every week and sing today. Could you fix the headlight know I will know it's the day before honey can be respectful.

Did you think the headlight all you know what tomorrow. I know you leave had a meeting in the morning on the way home I fixed the headlight and then you're good to go all right but don't forget pulled in the driveway little bit late from my suitcase and get a kiss I didn't and you think the headlight all I look at him like are you kidding me all active site I said months to fix all so the boy ceased rolling my eye so mad right now. Everything else is always a priority so driving. I can even tell you how angry he's right I am so mad and I started in my head, start thinking of all the things I did all of those meals for him and he Scripture else around the house when search everybody and everybody let me live the Bible writing all this is no good because I'm so right, so anything you feeling what you doing oh and when you know God speaking to you and you don't want to hear my radio really throughout feel so good so I'm driving like the holy County had a month and I felt like I was saying, take it out and give it to me.

I didn't want to do it some.

We almost hold on to them as a barrier to our heart and so I felt like I was saying let me have all of it. I told that I was raising like I feel like you care about me, love me, I'm not a priority to all of it to God only women we good sisters and friends that we can been to her safe. Who will hear you will pray for you who will love you and encourage you to you. We think we need to be with people for God's word. Listen to the spirit and obey that we don't plan to. I cannot live without my friend without God's word about my relation with God because I am so flawed that he can equip us to be the women that he needs to be given the power to respect her husband is waiting. He wants to, and we pulling the Kmart days running, and I'm still like getting it getting it giving it like Lord I give it to you.

You know my heart I know that you love me and I surrender it to you. I surrendered Dave to you again. Help me to be the wife that need to be.

I want to hurt him later because we were just weapons. Don't wait and we can slice and dice them and get rid of it. I would hurt him bad to mean that God created them to be so sorry. Are you okay he's waiting. I can just waiting for our okay I said I still need to talk about it. Ater designing headlight as it is nothing to do with the headlight has to do with feeling like I matter I'm important and I have time in your life and it was one of those gifts that I gave the day that I don't always give, but it was a gift that I gave him of my unconditional respect and love, and financially think about my parents how I said that my mom was a doormat. My parents did me.

65 years. In April they have become believers and for the last nine years.

My mom has been struggling with Alzheimer's and one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen in my life is watching my dad who I felt like was so self-centered who took her for granted. My mom just loved him and served and believe getting shared for him to watch him. He does everything for her.

She only recognizes two people. My dad and me she put lotion on her arms. He cooks all her food does all the laundry, cleaned house things that I've never in my life seen him do I respect you so much.

How could I seize my partner.

She's my girl and she loved me so well. Her whole life. How can I not do this again for her because she can make me who I am the parts so she commented we speak her mind in the bedroom with respect to ranting and ramming if I was doing and it starts with our surrender to Jesus to tell you how much he loves you probably know how we want to walk with you and comfort you want to encourage you and use you your trade be your best friend, your Redeemer and your Savior's changes.

We strengthen, we need to become the women he wants. Will we have been listing to Ann Wilson addressing a room for ballroom full of women little excited, but there's something about wanting challenge and encourage and just motivate these women to be God. Women right. I'm pretty passionate about it, and yet sometimes I get what you said to the world and by the way, you know, I have a little secret. I know about what happened that day because I think this is true.

I have no I will have to find you the man who heard this from sitting beside me, but I heard the one Bob opinion wanted to hear and Wilson speak so you stuck in the room and lay down on the floor or somehow you listen to her message silent true.

I was backstage. I was on the side because I said I wanted to hear you speak to the women that I remember walking out so that every woman just on the boat. Every woman was developed today needs should mention all of our past programs everything we got is free downloadable anything you want to go search for subject or whatever.

That's all there and it's there for you for free and while you're on the website look for information about the local community cruise that's happening next February ramming were all pretty excited about getting back on the boat out and like now is the best time for a family like today Lister to reserve a state room for the 2022.

Family life will like me to marriage cruise. We have up special offer we made during March expires on March 22.

So this is the season for you to call in or go online and reserve your state room you'll save some money. In fact, it's the best offer we make on state rooms throughout the year. So if you want to take advantage of the best offer. Go to family life today.com or call us at one 800 FL today and say I want to know more about the love like you made a marriage cruise. We may be interested, I will reserve a room.

What happens if Goldberg comes back up and we can answer all that stuff right. All you have to do is go to family like today.com and say I'm interested and reserve a room and start making clams for a week at sea on the love like you mean it. Marriage large established since the next year's cruise is going to be extra special with a lot of people who are so good to be with us for about week so did go to family like today.com for more information or call us at one 803 586-329-1800 F as in family L as in life about the word today. Again, take advantage of the special pricing that's available now till March 22. Not tomorrow. Working to hear from our friend Gary Thomas who wrote the book sacred marriage is written a lot on marriage relationships.

She joined us a while back, love like you need a marriage cruise and gave a wonderful message on how we can proactively bless our spouse in marriage. Gary tomorrow. Hope you can treat them for about engineer today. Keith Lynch got some extra help from Bruce golf course our entire broadcast production team was involved in all of this statement and Wilson on Bob opinion. See you back next time for another edition of family life, family life today is a production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas crew ministry help for today hope