How Thankfulness Pivots Our Souls

What's your mood today.

Are you encouraged.

Are you discouraged, depressed, anxious Sam Crabtree says there's a link between your mood and what I'll call your GQ your gratitude quotient.

You can't just tell yourself, well, don't be depressed today. That'll get person. Nowhere but you can decide I'm going to find something for which I can give thanks. Today it's hard to be envious and thankful depressed and thankful outraged and thankful. It's nearly impossible. This is family like today.

Our hosts are David and Wilson on Bob Lapine. You can find us online. The family life today.com gratitude. As it turns out, is a pretty big deal for you and for your children as you raise them talk about that today was Sam Crabtree stay with us and welcome to family life today. Thanks for joining us. I don't know that I ever stopped to think about this until I was get ready for conversation rehab today. I have always thought of gratitude thankfulness as a good character quality.

It's something you want to teach your kids to be grateful for. Absolutely it.

It's something that people who lack gratitude you don't like hang around them okay and try to figure out where you're going to go with that.

Yeah, that's true. I have come to realize in getting ready and reading the book really talk about today that gratitude is not just a nice add-on like hot fudge you put on top of the ice cream.

It's more critical, more is central to who we are and how we live before God than that, I would agree. I think you can say in order to find out today. It's at the root of happiness.

Sam knew everybody was map and I think it's easy to be happy and grateful when things are going well for easy but it's not quite as easy when things aren't well.

Sam Crabtree is joining us again on family life today and we are always glad when we can spend time with Sam. Sam welcome back. It's just such a pleasure to hobnob with you guys and grateful that I am true. Sam is an author. He's a speaker. He is a pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis and he has been with us before on family life today has just written a book called practicing thankfulness and I'm wondering if you had a sense of how significant gratitude is before you really got into praying through and studying and researching for this book. Yes I did have a sense but that sense gets enlarged as you write about something as you dig into it.

Then you peel back some layers and you find it. While this goes deeper, goes farther. This is more significant than I thought. Even though I started out thinking it was quite significant. So yes there is more to this than I first thought.

It's worth a book length treatment is absolutely my desktop. What spurred you line especially. Even with that title practicing.

Well, there is a guy named Peter only who was in our small group that meets in our home and he showed up one day in its Minnesota people taken off their overcoats and stuff and grabbing their hot beverages and and so forth. And he said Sam I got there the next book you should write practicing thankfulness and you thanks for the idea but as I thought about it. Yes, he saw something in the way I try to interact with people in our congregation that he thought was a pattern that came out of something that I was seeing in the way God has designed the universe and who God is and the more I thought about. I thought Peter think you're right. I think that's a book length project that would be worthwhile for people's edification and to increase their delight in God and for God to get more honor from these people who are increasingly grateful to him for all that he sewing so he saw this in you having your American that practices thankfulness. This is why we all want to thank you and me.

Some people it's a lot just the demeanor that you study the way a person's wired visitors and figured well II think there is something to that, there is an array of personalities that God is given in the world is so that it's easier for some people to be certain ways than for others to be those same certain ways.

Nevertheless, the ability to see what God is doing is a divine gift. You have to be alive spiritually to be thankful to God for what God is doing. This is how Jesus explained the problem with that, the prodigal son I'd read it numerous times countless times since I was a teenage boy wondering what's the problem with this kid. I've asked over thousand people what you think is the problem with the prodigal son is he just narcissistic or is he selfish or is he materialistic or is he just lustful or what. And what's the problem with this kid brother doesn't run off. Jesus tells us twice in that story what the problem with the prodigal son is this my son was dead and now is alive so until that son turned toward the father instead of away from the father. He was dead toward the father. He was not appreciative toward the father. He didn't think that going home was was a good place to be. Let me out here, and the father says it twice. He says it when his son returns and he says when is explaining to the older son what's going on here and so even if a person is more wired to be thankful, pleasant, sociable, nevertheless, to earnestly thank God from the overflow of the heart that I'm really trusting God that what he's doing right now, including what Anson the adversity of life. He's working this together for my good. That's a faith thing in faith is a gift. It's not a personality thing. The 10 lepers nine of them didn't come back and say thanks one of them did and Corsi enlarged his own joy and satisfaction and delight in meeting the Savior by his being different from the other nine so I don't if I'm answering your question well or not, but yes, some full find it easier, but to do it thoroughly in a God centered way requires God to do the work in the heart of the individual is thankfulness, gratitude, a choice is something we choose.

It is a choice. It's also a feeling it's also a way of seeing and fundamentally, it's a way of valuing which is why it's so dependent upon God that he realigned that the compass of our hearts that we value what should be valued but the choice part is so hope giving. I think because thankfulness is antithetical to so many other emotions and behavior patterns. It's hard to be envious and thankful nearly impossible.

It's hard to be depressed and thankful nearly impossible. It's hard to be suicidal and thankful, it's nearly impossible. Outraged and thankful nearly impossible. What is so hopeful about that is you can't just tell yourself, well, don't be depressed today that will crash and burn. That'll get person nowhere, but you can decide I'm going to find something for which I can give thanks.

Today you can just decide that it's a choice. In that sense you can go on the lookout for stuff to be thankful for, whereas you just can't sit in the chair decided not to be depressed doesn't work that way. So there is a choice involved and that's why it's helpful to read a book about it or or listen to a radio program about or something. I get because you can reorient yourself and decide I I am going to give focus to this. I'm gonna work on this and work toward this so there's a choice, but I would say it's just a mere choice. It's a choice that is aimed at and motivated by incited by the prospect of delight. So you you look back with thankfulness for what God has done that fuels future oriented hope 40s going to yet do that. He hasn't done yet I know I was reading I don't know years ago an author who said it was about perspective cases. You don't practice you should put in years daily routine when you're not thankful or not seeing the good in your life is just this phrase it could be worse than honor for Gary disease like you have your new card is a 10-year-old clunker and you drive by a really nice sports car and you look over there and you feel like I wish I had that you say could be worse. You could not have a car if you go home and you look your house and your driving up and using a man I was had a bigger, nicer houses that could be worse I might not have a house but it is a perspective right at me and it is a choice to say you said it earlier seeing something that a lot of people don't see and I think I could say that that approach could be worse is a first Thessalonians 518 approach than in everything give thanks. Are you skiing down the hill you break a leg will give thank you to break both legs even break your neck and you know you have a certain illness, but you don't have another illness you know that I think that's legitimate but I think the Bible wants more for us than just to think, well, it could be worse. Which is true, it could always be worse. And for those that are not in Christ. It's going to be worse. But Ephesians 5 says for everything, not just in everything for everything give thanks always everything always to universals there because in it. This is a test of our faith. Partly do we really believe that God is working all things together for the good of those who love him. Do we think he's sovereign in everything wasting nothing that he's never done this is the lesson I think that Joseph had in the Old Testament when his brothers took him hostage. The throwing up pit they sold him into slavery. Joseph said you will meant this for my heart but God meant this for my good are good that many would be saved so it's not just in it. Be grateful for it.

Be grateful.

It was that famine that brought his brothers to him. I I'm thinking about people who were in very difficult marriages or very difficult family situations and they think I'm supposed to forward this difficulty for this spouse who is not responding to things and got away. I'm supposed to be thankful for this and there's almost a feeling like if I'm thankful for this will enable them he has sustained a fan and I want things to change, how should I be grateful and still want things to change and get better. Sounds like crazy talk. I don't want a God who is like this, so let me commanded a couple different ways. First, is just the clear biblical teaching that God is behind everything he says in Isaiah 45 I form the light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity. I am the Lord who does all these things or Lamentations 3 who can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not decreed it, is it not from the mouth of the most high that both calamities and good things come so just to get the baseline doctrine that God is sovereign, universally in everything all the time without exception. He's there behind, holding all things together from him, through him, and to him. He gives to all life and breath and everything else. The Bible says so to get that clear. But then to acknowledge and learn and build on the fact the observation that he's never done ever. He wasn't done with Joseph when he was in the pit. He wasn't done with Joseph when he was in Potiphar's house. He wasn't done with Joseph when he was in prison he wasn't done when there was this seven year famine. God is not done, you know, we prayed for my mother who was on a five year downward slide with dementia until she died and we prayed that she would be healed and so forth. And we pray that God would take or if you join for our permission.

He had our permission, but when she died. There could be some would say well you know God didn't answer your prayers and he failed or what you think God's done with her is not the end of her life's at the end of her story. She just entered into the greatest chapter of her of her existence ever so God is not wasting the affliction that he brings into our life, even if it's a difficult spouse or to be difficult illness or difficult financial pressure or something like that so it's good to look at texts that help us with that Psalm 90 Moses says make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, James said, count it all joy brothers when you encounter these many trials who likes trials wants to get in the trial line and sign up getting a guy from the trials.

Please count it all joy when you encounter these trials, knowing that the trying of your faith produces what a keyword produces. These trials are part active. They're not wasteful God is producing something specifically the character of Christ in me.

These trials are producing for you and eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison. How big, beyond all comparison right. That's how good it is in these momentary light afflictions that Paul is talking about. I mean, he's been beaten and left for dead in all kinds of stuff that's happened to him and when you're in these afflictions. They don't seem light and they don't seem momentary and we cry out for relief, and that's legitimate cry cry out for leave for relief were not masochists will not say this. We want to fix all the problems we can fix one fix famines we want to fix drought. We want to fix diseases. We want to fix broken marriages, we want to fix domestic problems. We want to fix him when we've done our best and we have the problem still unfixed. Then God's not wasting it. He's doing it thousand 10,000 things so we can pray and ought to pray deliver us from evil, or fix this broken situation and at the same time be thankful for what we are in the midst of because God is not wasting what we were not able to fix and he is producing. It's pretty active. Romans five says the same thing that these afflictions produce hope. Yes, so we we want to hope. We want the patient's but the only way to develop patience is no plan B, the only way to develop patience is to have something to be impatient about. There is not an option, something Sam I think you're right that thankfulness changes us gratitude changes. I know that in our marriage. I was in bad pattern and habit of looking at our marriage and looking at Dave and seen the negative. Not being thankful for him not seem to greatness not seen the good it took me down this path of pity and anger and yet I remember the day that I went before God and I sent God show me, show me the greatness of Dave and help me to be thankful for what I do have and so I started praying that thanking God for all these great things that God had put into Dave and my eyes started to change. As I was thankful as I was grateful for day for who he buys and then I started to verbalize that to him.

My heart started to change.

Like I became more grateful and I started seeing him in a totally different light. Really do think that that can change our marriage.

When we start grateful and then even verbalizing that to our spouse by arguing the book that I believe gratitude is soul pivoting pivoting if you're grateful you pivot towards God and there's a growth trajectory there. If you decide instead of being grateful I'm gonna complain and whine for us the soul pivot swings like a hint here right. You can't have both their antithetical to each other and is Jesus said you know you form your you're against me and that pivot if you want to be a complainer. Then there's a downward spiral its hardening to the soul and blinding to the soul where you stop seeing the good things that God is doing.

I think the amazing thing is it's contagious in some ways when in complained and grumbled, I sort of became what she saw, you know, maybe even worse when she started to speak, and I know you've written about this as well and she was affirming and thankful. It made me want to be better and it made me rise up thankfulness. Gratitude is contagious and I is a true hold true yeah yeah people love to be around a grateful person and the they pick up on it. It is infectious. There's a contagion. You know, take your gratefulness mask off and hence send us bladder gratefulness all over people is a magnet any people run to think about. If your home was no by your kids by your spouse is a place of thankfulness. They would run home to run somewhere right when I run home if I'm not feeling grateful for something, should I pretend like I really am grateful for a while.

Good question or or do I wait until I'm feeling it to try to act yeah the desire there I think is to avoid hypocrisy by pretending to be what I don't feel like I am in it and I appreciate the self-disclosure self-awareness a person has in asking that question. Yes, I think we should give thanks before we feel like it for several reasons.

One, were commanded to give thanks. Give thanks so you're not seeing anything for which you should be thankful.

Well, wake up, look around.

There is some stuff there and get on with the command fulfill and obey the command so that's one thing.

Second on the way to hopefully growing and feeling thankful looking for things for which I ought to be thankful opens the door to at least a crack to lead in some like that, you know, I really am grateful for X or Y or or Z third, you can pray Lord awakened in me, the more grateful attitude, a more humble alert alive, attentive attitude that that sees the showers of blessing that are all around me all the time every day everywhere. I remember I was in a class with a bunch of women and I got there early in these women were all sitting around talking about how horrible their husbands were never going into specifics.

My cousin comes home and all he does is sit down and watch TV helps with the kids and their going on and on and I was thinking this is South night they could have so much better faintly trust Jesus and and so I get home that night and Dave came in the door and he had had a bad day. I don't remember a time that he came in the door and sat down, watch TV, but on this day he came in the door he turned on the TV start watching ESPN kids were younger and just like all has been negative road and very sound but interesting sometimes when you're around the negative.

Also feeds your soul. Gratitude contagious so you and so do we need to be careful.

I'm thinking were in the word read thankfulness. Yeah, I've tried to address the question with teenagers who have asked is it okay to go into such and such an environment, is it okay to go into tavern. Is it okay to go to such and such an event in one way to answer that question is if a person goes there who's influencing home so Jesus could have lunch with prostitutes because he wasn't becoming one they were being redeemed. He wasn't falling and so I think it's important to ask, do I think I can make a difference if I don't think I can be aware go into a dark dark world and and shine your light. The darker the world the more one light will will matter that's true but little self-awareness that I might not be able to withstand the culture in my workplace or my school or something will be naïve and I will turn the tide necessarily important in God's word of always being grounded, being in prayer continuously because I think you're right. I can make an impact wherever I go with my thankfulness with the light of Jesus.

But I'll tell you I have a friend who quit her job because she was daily with three other women who were routinely negative about their husband and after a while she said this conversation is so toxic for me that even if I am prayed up and mission really minded and all of that. I just come home, drained and not in the right state of mind and this was a significant economic choice for her to quit her job and yet she was saying. My heart is more important. My marriage is more important than how much money we got here, how, and so did quit the job and come home. She told her husband. That's why she was quitting the job and they talked about. They agreed that was what she needed to do and what to do and had to tighten their belt for a little while but they're so glad. Looking back on that that their marriage is not a casualty, as it might have slowly become over time. This is why I think practicing thankfulness learning to be grateful in the midst of all things.

Why this is so important and Sam. It's why were so glad to have copies of your book available for our family. Like today, listers Sam Crabtree's book is called practicing thankfulness, cultivating a grateful heart.

In all circumstances. It's a book we have in our family like today resource Center you can order the book from us online@familylifetoday.com or you can call one 800 FL today to get your copy of Sam Crabtree's book practicing thankfulness again. The website is family life today.com and order the book from us online or call to order at one 803 586-329-1800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today, we have heard from a lot of you this week who got in touch with us asking for a copy of Gary Thomas's book when to walk away.

Gary was on family life today. Earlier this week and we are making his book available to those of you who can make a donation to help support the ongoing ministry of family life.

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I want to thank our engineer today.

Caitlin got some help from Bruce Goff this week and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our hosts Dave and Ann Wilson on Bob Lapine see you back next time for another edition of family life today. Family life to a is a production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas crew ministry help for today hope for tomorrow