Who Am I?

Author and podcast or Jamie IV says all of us need to embrace what is our true identity, but as she says that she adds. This disclaimer on this side of heaven. I don't think that were ever to be fully content and who we are as we have the broken sin this week that there is evil in this world that we had to fight against their their forces at play here that are bigger than what we see in the flesh. We are not content here because it's on our home. This is family life today. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson and Bob Lapine can find us online@familylifetoday.com how can we better understand and embrace the person God has made us to be. How can we celebrate that appropriately talk more about that today with Jamie. I stay with us and welcome to family life today. Thanks for joining us to sit and think about junior high. Please why was it like the worst time of your life as a rough time being for you was a hard season. Now every season was a good every season could see where this this season.

Guy is funny when US at all I think about a sports ghetto and I get out was pretty good thing about it is because I think in middle school and junior high. Everybody's trying to figure out where do I fit. Who am I good at what I do to get people to like me, you know what I did Bob yeah here's a because my my. I actually arranged a sit in on our front lawn of our middle school protesting.

We hung out literally. I should be saying this to our listening audience. Don't have your sons or daughters do this snuck out one night at 2 AM, took a big bedsheet wrote some mild marijuana hung over the roof of the school so we called on the roof of the school and we got in trouble for it. I raise the entire school to protest us connect. You know what happened. The entire class got expelled all expelled the entire class because of my mom was like there was the worst thing ever done, but you know it's on your theater, you're a leader that's a good thing I is true though, because in junior high, middle school, you're determining what group you're going to be yeah where you're going to go and who are you going to be my love I want to know why US this question I ask because I think our guest today has figured out that a lot of people are still processing the junior high issues in their 20s and 30s and 40s and beyond that, I feel like I do it in each stage of my life.

I told my youngest son last year right or wrong. I said I think at 50 years old six years old four years old. You are who you were in high school. Interesting. I mean, obviously you're not but there's something that still there if you were the popular kid. If you are the quiet kid. There's something that still connected to who you are not a lot of people and I sure hope not. I just thought he's had a midlife crisis I have is joining us on family like today welcome Jamie got me going, but I think middle school. Yeah, I my pants and I we have resolved this. I have forgiven them when I was in sixth grade, we moved from a super small town in Texas to a large suburb with one month left of school and you forgiven him. I have forgiven them because of us and I they are great parents always say started mile school journey of walking in with one month left and I grown up in a town my whole life. One school and tap medium small J is for those who don't know Jamie is a podcast or extraordinaire we should say that you yeah your podcast is heard by millions of people. It's called happy are right that the area is great title.

Jamie has written a new book called you be you and you think I'm right that there are people still dealing with their middle school identity issues when they're in their 30s.

We all are at different stages like you said were going okay.

What is my life look like now. Whether you're a parent now or now year been in a job for 20 years. Nothing is said or whatever were all doing it.

Yes, so did you write this because it the drilling neuron or the journey you're watching thousands of other women beyond bus but I'll tell you why I wrote it mostly is because I release the my favorites.

But in 2018.

That was fun and exciting that I started to hear when where I was going okay. They were dissatisfied with their life because they didn't like their life.

I started to hear them being dissatisfied with the light because they wanted her life. They were looking at my at their own life going to like what I'm doing, they would just look at her and go if I was her I be happy, content, soundbite line and Jamie add this to have you seen this where women say what the reason I'm not her is because I'm not in any go through all of their weaknesses, yes, yes, hearing this going. But wait here. You and God made you to be you and I gave you gifts he gave you talent and he gave you a voice and Getty passions, all the thanks and so the book started from that. As I went women to quit trying to be someone they were supposed to be one of them to be the person God created me and honestly everything in here is because yes I bought for this. I mean, I still find myself waking up. Some days going and if I was just like her I would be better after my myself like I have my own thing that I'm doing right now we live in a world and mean I'd like to talk about this all the time with us but with Instagram social media we can automatically see what we think everyone's life is, and I say think because it's just whatever's there. So that's hard for women out of his heart for many guys can help me but I know it's hard for women is a looking around wondering what they're missing out on so that's kind where this became. And I do think it's hard from into one of the guys today with us, please start the book talking about going through a midlife crisis.

Yeah, I mean just like trying to figure out what are we doing a lot like what's our calling and also gets women tripped up to meant to like what is our calling it what oasis we join with their life and I think you are asking that in high school in their 20s and 30s in their 40s and it's a difficult question to answer because of so many layers to it. There's people say oh yeah, I will call to adoption with three kids their adoption like Escott called us to that but I think that we had this greater calling in life and so anyone is listening. All of us here. We love Jesus. So we follow him. That's our goal in life.

I would say that our main calling in life is to love God and make him known. And then everything kind of falls in the place you know whether you change jobs or you get married or you have kids or whatever. Looks like everything kind of falls in the place. After that I want that to be an encouragement. Women I went to be like you get to be you because at the end of the day you're still doing what you're what God has to do and making them a bringing glory to different your whole life I've had different jobs my whole life been so different and yet you turn 40. You said it on the book in your like I feel like I wasted a lot of years living in some ways the questions you start asking a 40 so mask in high school you know whom I want my here where my supposed to be doing now how did that hit you and like you said, age 40, yeah, well, a little back story gripping church my whole life like I never member not going to church like I did TA's handbells. You guys are all girls in action. All I do know that there was yeah gripping church and a lot… Jesus would even say I was Christian but then turn 16 and started letting for myself and did what I thought was a quote unquote regular teens life I was, running from God, got married to pastor and then my 20s were just, you know we were having kids and my husband Aaron was traveling and so I felt kind of stuck a little bit like a was really sure what I was doing 30s and try to get my feet under me like 35 3637 and started going with so much life left like I have so much ahead of me. So what is God asking me to do and that's when like my professional career started changing and taking off but it was the same question that people are asking their 20s and so I think that for us who are in affording above, we can look at a €20 bill you just try to figure who you are out so we were still trying to do this as well as I don't think it's like you ever show up and you know, I know exactly what you doing rounds journey all the time as a grant.

What is not estimated today and then tomorrow and the next day. So as I'm hearing you describe this. I'm thinking was being a wife and a mom not filling that what you were supposed to be doing. Was there still angst and that I mean aren't some people that's who they are and who they're made to be so much angst and that honestly I mentioned, my husband traveled. He traveled a lot and so I was at home I was a teacher and a coach before we had kids this idea. Like how be home with the kids and then I'll go back to working but I wise I had this feeling that I think there has to be more for me and I and I always an essay here if you're able to stay on with your kids is a privilege, so I know that before but something started stirring in the website. I think God is moving in me and asking me to do something else which is what led me. I've told you guys previously to audition for a radio show and not was the first time that I ever did something out-of-the-box and I thought, I think I'm going to do something other than teaching and coaching and I think I'm gonna do something different than I ever thought I would do you see a matter what. This is a fun story because I latte what happens on driving in Austin Texas up at four kids there young at the time 3576 around that age and I hear on the radio I listen to country radio and I love country radio and I hear them advertise that they have an open casting call for anyone anybody to send an audition tape to join the morning show K so I'm like oh that sounds fun. I never spoke into microphone. I was a teacher in a coach like just never do anything like this. My husband Aaron is an artist and so we had a studio in our backyard and a house in the back and I said they please help me. I want them under the bus but I'm pretty confident he was like this is maybe the damn thing you know I created a demo here right now. I wish I could with what I said to be good to get a send it and it was a voting was by votes and so I just rally all my friends. I always sit in my church I got a pretty large church like think my church got me the votes and did you do that the J boys go outside to JF from the big time was that I will fight for truly good by Bob Lapine. We've got to read IV here hi Jeremy, that's the best radio voice just did something like this.

This is Jamie. I don't even know what I did. Yes, that the top 10 in votes and then from there, the executives pick and so I made it to the top five enemy I remember and I went on a date and I had worked outside the home since we had kids you know 70 years.

We were on a date and he's like to talk about this. Still thinking there's actually no way. I mean, what are the chances I'm in the top five. Now he does. We should talk about this consuming. If you get a job things with. So he was worried a little bit less worried worried these children you and you know I went in on a Thursday and I got go on air. Everybody did and I left there that morning thinking if nothing else, this was so much fun and you guys I end up winning here I am now.

I have never spoken into microphone before then. The guys I worked with were so kind to me and so nice and it ended up being my favorite job I have ever had at the end to that and I was on cloud nine. But here's what you need to know I want this job as I go from stay home mom to now on-air live at 6 AM, set to be there in 05 in the morning and that's not easy is not easy, and my husband still travels a lot 07. This is a hard season and also this was in 2011 three of our kids are doing our family through adoption. One of them had been home like maybe 14 months and he was 4 1/2 and if anyone has ever been around adoption issues. It's hard to beginning so I start working and I am having the best time of my life while everyone at my house so is dying. My kids are struggling and I were struggling mean China and tired, but I just thought that I found what I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life and about three months and I came Darren out of sight. Have you noticed it's difficult around here and he's like you think which looking back now, I'm so grateful that he let me feel that tension and he didn't come to me and say like you have to quit like I would listen to him but I think it would been hard for me so that he didn't put his foot down and say we can't do this. I'm on the road all the time.

Now I'm just look back on like he's such a cheerleader for me and me for him and that was a season where it cost him a lot. So for months I quit and it was the hardest best decision I've ever made. I didn't want to. I was a little angry with God like I understand like why would I try how and why would I win and you knew I was gonna have to get this up and you still let me do this as I felt a little embarrassed for little humiliate I feel like oh I can't do it like I felt like a failure and the biggest thing that I felt was when I was on the radio was a first time my life and I don't explain this and maybe you guys will understand because you do this, I felt like I had a voice I felt for the first time in my life that I had found my groove like I speak and I get to make a difference in thousands of people's lives. I loved that. And I was good at it.

So they said you knives like I love this. I thought I found my voice and so when I quit I went through a lot of months of feeling like I don't have a voice in the morning.

I don't get to make a difference. I don't have anything to say no one's listening to me and I learned maybe one of my biggest lessons in life and I talk about in this book is that the voice that I thought I cortical found on that radio show I'd always had it in use. You said earlier like this.

Are you the same person you were in high school just looks different. I don't think God gave me a voice in March when I got that job.

Now that he took my voice away when I had to quit. I think I just used it differently.

I had been using that voice messaging for crates_when I was coaching a volleyball team or I've been using that voice with my four kids in my home in over the past seven years. That was such a good lesson for me and that's something I see with women is a think if I can get bigger and better than all the important, if I can get more followers than all have something to say and I just want to say you already have something to say, I say to the people in front of you so was that hard to quit yes to God teach me a lot. I'm so grateful for that lesson because it forced me to realize okay you can use that voice in your home. You can use everywhere you go.

I have such a similar story. I was the state did not win a race.

You will talk about what you're doing, but it is true. Dave and I were doing industry together before we had kids for six years I was loving you. I was thriving in it and I felt God calling us to have kids and he graciously gave us three sons, but was hard and I almost felt like I was jealous of what Dave was doing, how he was bringing people to Christ how he was impacting the world, and I felt like I'm doing nothing in my what I would say in my head but I have no life and I hear so many women saying the thing the same thing. I have no life and so then I decided to start our women's ministry at our church.

Our kids were 1210 and seven and man.

It filled me up and it started growing and thriving is good and I thought this is that yeah I'm leaving impacting I am doing this thing that had this vision for and I found that I couldn't release all of that in my head when I was home so I was distracted I was constantly on the phone, and our youngest to a seven with really troubled by the whole thing like why are you home anymore. Why are you playing with me playing football with me anymore and so then the guilt is creeping in, but I felt like that God put this in. He's growing this in the ministries thriving and so I did. An older mentor came into town to speak in an event we had and I said I feel like I need to be home and I feel like our family is struggling with me out here. This call that I can't get rid of and I don't know what to do and I feel like the ministry will fall apart if I'm quit and she said if God can't replace you. You must really be something out without convicting yeah and so I quit. I had a new vision for my family in the importance of pouring into our kids that I did have a life. This was an incredible life. It is kind of sparked that feeling of all, I can be used by God in other ways, but for now I need to focus on this ministry where you are now will is what I want to ask both you women okay is a courier. Now you have a pretty substantial influence outside your home. What if you were doing this. What if it never was different than it was when you were moms in your home. There are a lot of moms listener like I'm never really on the radio and I can have a podcast and I can write a book to raise sons and daughters and that's it. Is that okay is that enough. I think that's were not thinking about the right way because I think everyone has different gifts and talents and passions and voices and influence and for some reason that we don't understand. This is where God has us. It's not better is just different, and so I think that mom is at home and she's like man that be fun to be on the radio. I'm just making another batch of macaroni and cheese for the 17th time, but that is where God has you in that moment in that moment shaping yeah yeah yeah so for me when I look back at it like a professional same one in my life I mean yes I quit and then six years later. I don't know how many years later I started my own show and then that change my entire career in my life and now my kids are bigger and they understand that you know mom leaves because she just help about Jesus.

And when I travel. That's what it is like I'm in good topic but Jesus, I'm not just leaving you guys here that's what I'm doing but that's what I want one to know one thing to look at me are you and think, well actually using them because God was really using me in my home and he still is and gobs was using me when like I said I was a Sunday school teacher for years now and that influence mattered. The influence that you have matters. The young woman whose listing of going away. Why did you guys have to give up what you loved and what you are good at. To make things work at home questions out of up what they love their good let you be who God made you to be on the market player.

I have a really good friend with the same time I was doing that was starting a company and she's asked me that she's like, did you ever talk about like why you had to quit. He didn't and we didn't talk about that for our family. Particularly, I had been a stay-at-home mom. We started our family we decided you know what we have the opportunity we had the income were to decide for you to stay with the kids. It was my choice.

As we wanted and so it just made sense in our family for me to do what I had done previously but like I said, I mean Aaron was so kind to because he knew how much that meant to me which neither one of us are God. So we couldn't see what God would have had in store for me and looking back on, like, trust you next time become a noggin to be so mad at you when you make me do things I don't want to do is you never know what's on the other side.

But that's not was for me it was just that our family had started. I think I looked at it like this. Great ministries out here I'm doing this little ministry in my home and I think I realize know that great ministry is in my home and I'm raising Boyer's I'm raising people that could impact the next generation for Christ and I had this whole new vision of this is the greatest calling I could ever have and I get to stay home. Not everybody can do that. So is this honor and privilege some the days felt like a million years just in it sometimes and you feel like I'm not doing anything but changing diapers and making macaroni and yet now that I'm on the other side, and I think man those were the most precious moments that I could have that I tell you what it's hard for the husband because I would come home and she would be voicing that struggle on the do anything.

My life is just hidden in your most wholesome fry like miracle. No, honey, you're making a difference in what you did in it didn't matter what I said it didn't seem like it could convince you that your ministry mattered so you know I would thinking right now. Speak to that mom you just sort of did. Yeah it is in your book yeah you but what would you say to them.

That's right now chasing a kid around couples. Yeah, and they're just feeling like my life and really matter. Yeah, later the one thing I want to say for sure is that the quality of your influence matters over the quantity and I mean that, by the people that you're influencing, it could be three kids, but that matter so much to what you're doing is that quantity that your point into them. I also want to say this I don't want to get on a soapbox or anything, but I also want to really encourage you to watch what she's inputting into her brain. Yes, because it's really hard to fight that and believe that when you're constantly scrolling looking at what you think is a better life and said it's hard for you. Be like know that I trust you with this life and then your scrolling instrument Facebook and you see you know this woman who she's on another trip with her working like man I wish I could wear power student and go to work and you know San Francisco for the weekend like you know you so you start to think, man, my life doesn't matter and hers doesn't so we can say all day. You need to fight to believe that she need to be in God's word. You surround yourself to get community but practically you know you might need to stop the scrolling to think her life looks better.

I saw today without all the time of believing that what I'm doing matters. Sometimes it becomes difficult when you're looking at other people's Instagram perfect reels and listen instrument guys like my favorite social media, but I take breaks all the time from I mean all the time will even last week, I can find myself more busy and I can find myself at the end of the day wanting to just sit down and find something on Netflix like now I want to find something. This can be great and I been talking to got a Latin praying and I was think with you. I know you want to be closer to you than I ever have been in my life I felt this slight tug of the Holy Spirit of St. and spend more time than more time with you. I'm not on Netflix and how I thought I read and I can turn on TV at night and go up and read and I don't know why. Sometimes it can feel like a chore right but I started doing and I was amazed like my heart felt like it was on fire. Jesus, what happens to the social media you start to see in a new way this isn't benefiting me and I think especially with young kids. All we want is a break break. I want to veg out. But even talking to God throughout the day talking to him about what you're doing listening to his voice being in the word and having a community of women telling you this is what matters. What you're doing matters. You have a voice you are influencing that really makes a valid discus you to just talk to the women.

I'll talk to the guys those moons the dads because I thought back in those days. My words didn't really impact her yet. They did that, I would just say husbands today.

Yeah, I'm looking you in the steering you and you and you tell your woman, she matters you tell her what she's doing is valuable writer writing something down texture, but pick up Jamie's book you be you and encouragers should be you who are literally changing the world. Don't you believe the lie that you are she needs to hear that from her man. Yeah, I'm telling you from man-to-man to a today only just so you you could go to your wife tonight and say I ordered a book for you today. I heard on the radio and I went to family.today.com. I ordered Jimmy's book you be you and I want you to read this. Maybe we can read it together and you can say I'm a take the kids for a couple hours and you can go to family life today.com and get a copy of Jamie's book. In fact were making Jamie's book available this week to any listener who can help support the ministry of family life to the with a donation over the amount book is called you be you. Why satisfaction and success are closer than you think. Go to our website. Family life to the.com to make an online donation or call one 800 FL today to donate over the phone and just request your copy of the book you be you by Jamie IV. If you're not yet listing the Jamie's podcast which is called the happy hour. There's a link on our website@familylifetoday.com and you can get subscribed and start listing to Jamie every week. Again, our website is family life to the.com site. Thank you for your support of this ministry. It means so much to us every time you make a donation. What you're actually investing in is the marriages and families of people in your community. People all around the world who are depending on family life today for practical biblical help and hope for their marriage and their family and you make that possible through your donations.

So were always glad to hear from you and we hope you enjoy Jamie's book you will be you and we hope you can join us again tomorrow when we talk about how the culture of comparison that we live them affects how we see ourselves, our ability to embrace being the people God has made us to be Jenny obviously join us again tomorrow. Hope you computers will think an engineer today.

Keith Lynch along with our entire broadcast team on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson and Bob Lapine see about next time for another edition of family life, family life to the production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas. Accrue ministry help for today hope for tomorrow