Raising Kids Of Faith

There may be no more important assignment for us as parents than for us to do all we can do to actively incline our children's hearts toward the Lord hears Alex Kendrick. I don't want my kids hearts all my heart to be callous to the things of God.

And again, if the Lord has their heart they will face dictation and struggles and even issue of repentance far differently than if the Lord does not have their heart so I intentionally pray regularly. Lord, please keep the heart of my children moldable and tender towards you. Your their minds receptive of this truth in the relationship to be honoring to God. This is family life today. Our hosts are David and Wilson on Bob Lapine can find us online@familylifetoday.com will hear from Alex Kendrick today about how we can be more effectively praying for our children stay with us and welcome to family life to the thanks for joining us.

If I depict the top five issues that our listeners want us to be helping them with over and over again. One of the top five would be what were to hear about today. Team I'm it's a tough fight for us meeting were empty-nesters now but still it was like how do we help our children walk with Jesus. Their whole life, especially as adults. And that's the core, not not just parenting in general. But how do we get our kids on the right spiritual path. The three of us had an opportunity to hear Alex Kendrick speak on this subject recently. Alex, our listeners will know is a part of the Kendrick brothers. They made the movies war room overcome her fireproof, facing the Giants courageous number great movies Alex has directed many of those cowritten a lot of them started in some of those movies and he spoke to us about how we raise kids of faith in the things that need to be priorities and we thought we need to share that with our listeners so that's what really here today hears Alex Kendrick what is the result of what we all want for our kids as followers of Christ is talk about our target.

We want eventually to have grown children who love and walk with God and live to honor him and who are passing their faith onto the next iteration. I hope that is what you want for your children. Yes, we want them to be successful in life and you financially wanted to be happy but I hope above all, you want them to be walking and honoring the one who made them so that is the target. So, since that is the target to make sure were aiming for that right you are not going to hit a target you are not aiming at as we want to intentionally aim for this target, so I ended up with five things. Gary Was talking last night about five languages. Apology five love languages while have five points. There's no theme on the boat about 50 think, but I just ended up with five. That being the target, to give you little bit history for us. I was raised in a Christian home.

My father was a minister. Mom was a schoolteacher on the middle of three boys. Janet is three years older. Stephen is three years younger when I was growing up. It was a regular part of our life for us to have family devotions prayer times we were regularly in church and our father did live his faith. I did not have perfect parents. I saw them argue. I saw them, you know, go over all their lives be bumps and hurdles in life, but they were devoted to the Lord and did stay together. They been married 55 years now and I love that so that that was my friends growing up. Christina became a Christian as a teenager. She has an amazing father. I love him.

We have a great relationship.

She did not grow up in her early years in a Christian home about everything everything I'm saying affirmations they so she did not rub the Christian home. Her parents went through a couple divorces. So, she had mom, stepmom and another stepmom and it was really rough at time when she did come to Christ as a teenager, so did her sister soon after her and her father began walking the floor after that and still is today. But during our all her first 15 years or so. Not a good representation of marriage or what a mother would be so we came from two very different vantage points, and experiences. We were married so you can imagine earlier for having children. How are we going to because I still serve from my experience she filters from her experiences what we know you more than likely until the Lord begin molding you filtered how to parent from your experience and so we want what what we want to do is eventually baptized. Whatever our experience wise in the truth of God's word and say God renovate the way I think so that the way I do my marriage the way I do my parenting falls in line with your word. Amen. About five think the first thing adding to the target sincere faith. About this sincere faith, knowing and walking with Jesus. We cannot pass on our children. What we don't have ourselves. So if you want your children to go spiritually and in a healthy mindset and a walk with God that will come.

Most early and effectively. When you are doing it yourself. So before we get started I would say to impart faith, your children, you have to have sincere faith yourself not put one person up there in the Romans 1013 and whoever calls on the name of Lord will be saved and just so we all know what that includes is an acknowledgment of who he is who I am that I need him I need him as Savior. I need him as Lord. He died for me when I surrender my life to him and I belong to him about my faith and trust in him.

He gives me a new heart and a new spirit legitimately saves me so when I live that out that impart to my children so a sincere faith. You need to know that you belong to Jesus Christ. Not that you know about him but that he is Lord and Savior as if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord you believe in your heart got a raised him from the dead, you will be say we want want to establish that first okay so having established that sincere faith.

Let's go. The next prayer strategy to camp out here for a few minutes. This is so important.

What if your salvation is in place. This is the next most important thing praying specifically for each of your children pray for their hearts to be moldable and tender toward the Lord their minds to be receptive of this truth in the relationships to be honoring to God. Pray for strong faith and a hatred for sin, pray for God's protection for wisdom and discernment for a hunger for God's word. Pray for healthy relationships and interests in a desire for holiness then pray all this again for their future spouse.

If they're married, start praying now. Again, you can't play these things up now. This is certainly not exhaustive, but when I am praying for my children I pray through these things now. Again, add as much as you want to do this, but if I go through this very quickly.

Pray for their hearts to be moldable and tender toward the Lord.

Of course you know why I don't want my kids hearts all my heart to be callous to the things of God. And again, if the Lord has their heart they will face temptation and struggles and even issue of repentance far differently than if the Lord does not have their heart so I intentionally pray regularly. Lord, please keep the heart of my children moldable and tender toward you. Your their minds receptive of his truth in their relationships to be honoring to God was hearing the couple to so my daughter Anna is 19. Artie had a young man come to me. I think she may be the one for me.

That is what had said no, no, she's 19 and I know some of you got married at that age earlier so I said come talk to me again in a year you know… Is why why so long day. If you're interested in. This is the real deal you will my latent I'm not ready anyway so I'm pray for good relationships. It is a Christian to the way I so pray for God's protection. Of course we want to pray for their protection for wisdom and discernment and for a hunger for God's word, I love I love I love when my children are spending time with the Lord and one of the questions in our first little bit later to one of the questions I love asking them applicable rewrite is now is to engage conversation with them is is what is the most recent thing God has taught what's the most recent thing got is taught you because if they're not walking with God and his related answer for that question if they are walking with God. There will be an answer to that question. So occasionally I ask my kids. Hey, especially the older ones.

As was the most recent thing God is talking and from their time in God's word, they will have an answer for that right. So, for wisdom to sign a hunger for God's word. Pray for healthy friendships and interest you guys know that their friends will influence them. The things are interested in can pull them away or enrich their lives in a desire for holiness then pray all this again for the future spouse and don't get me mad when I say this, don't be lazy about praying for their future spouse there out there and you want the same qualities in your future son-in-law or daughter-in-law.

That's what you want for them. Okay, now my wife found and we think it's from John Maxwell, but we messed with it a little bit and certainly you can add to this, so Christina says in her quiet time with you forever as he adds all these things. I love this for our children. She prays for the faith of Abraham that their faith would be personal and intimate with God. She prays for the leadership of Moses that they would be led by God as they lead others in their area of strength with their personnel. The we got is wired them that they would be leaders.

The courage and conviction of Daniel that no matter what this world says trying to pull them away, that they are unwavering in their faith firm and unwavering unwavering just like Daniel Hart of David, oh my goodness. God loves the heart of David that they are tender toward God and repentance. David, as you know he was a great sinner and he was equally a great repentance or we want our children to be quickly repentance when the Lord says, puts them under conviction, the wisdom of Solomon.

Of course wise and just turning in all that they do.

The perseverance of Job that they are faithful even in hardship. Yes, Joe struggled in every single person in this room has some crisis or horror stories they could share ever. All of us.

If you don't please don't get mad when I say one day you will everything what we want to make it through those hardship honoring to God.

On the other side of it did mean you'd struggle that needed questioning. He didn't ask why is this going on what we want to honor the Lord with the perseverance of the seal Paul a desire to share the gospel. What is Scripture say about he that when it souls is why we want them to want to share the gospel. The faithfulness of Timothy that he is, they are faithful to God, their family, their friends and of course faithful to the to the faith itself. The compassion of Jesus to see and love people to have that you have feelings of compassion for them. Now, you could add to this list all day long on think with the courage of Joshua right be strong and courageous. We want the grace of Esther and Ruth made you could just go through Scripture. So add it. You study Scripture in and come up with an additional per strategy for your children, but but you can see the way we pray, don't pray just general prayers.

I encourage you to do the work.

Praying strategically and I would say you want us to fake answers from God.

Praise pacifically. Pray specifically don't just gloss over it. We spent too much time worrying and not enough time.

Pray too much time fretting over what our children are going through and not enough time on her face or on her knees seeking the Lord do the work of prayer. Okay, so we talked about sincere faith, you need to have it before you can pass it on.

Were talking about praying strategically develop a prayer strategy.

Please feel free to use ours is a jump jump off point, but can't continue to develop your are the next one is aiming for their hearts. If you have their hearts are more likely to listen to you. People tend to embrace the belief of those who they believe love them the most.

So whoever has your child's heart will influence their life when when I was growing up.

When I believed all my parents just being too stringent on me being too legalistic with me when I believe there being too legalistic.

And so my friends were saying something different that the point where I believe my friends really love me and I have my best interest in mind. Yes remark shifted to write your children's hearts will shift toward those they believe love them the most. So it is important and you and I proactively go after their heart. The Old Testament ends with the need for the hearts of fathers to be turned back to their children in the hearts of children to their fathers of that doesn't happen. Malachi 45 says the nation will become Kirsten truth will be forsaken that is not what we want in our own when a young person feels and love. They will go elsewhere to find affirmation and affection, often to the wrong people in the wrong places. So if you want your children to listen to you, to delight in following your counsel, you must first be proactive when his or her heart. So how how can we do this three A's attention, affirmation, affection, let's go through these, even if they're grown, even if the room talk to your children. Make them feel safe, secure, and love. Plan on one-on-one time with them meals dates activities don't choose less important things over your kids, especially when they're young so II engage them.

We not the question I give you earlier. I say happy. How was your day and you know not yes or an answer for me when they walk in the door you say hey how is your day they say thank you. One word is all you got words don't ask that question so what I've learned to do when they walk in the door is hey give me a hug, whatever and I'll say something like this was the best part of your day because if I say, what was the best part of your day. They have to stop and think of what was the best part of their day. Not to say fine. That's the default answer and so when I do the something will is the best part of my give me an answer from SAA. What was the worst part of your day and if you're struggling with something. Sometimes that will come out. The whole point is to engage with them. Find out or doing what I know that you not been asked the same question every day and I give the same answer every day. Drives me crazy. I doesn't mean anything right so engage your kids so talk to your children. Make them feel safe, secure, and love so that was affirmation affirmations, one of the key elements behind the father's blessing to blast means to speak well of someone so they will have God's favor on their lives. When you bless your children you are lovingly using the authority you have to verbally affirm them towards future success. Everyone wants to live up to the expectations of those that love is so consider this when Jesus was baptized just before he started his ministry right when Jesus was baptized. What did God say, from heaven, you are my beloved son in whom I am well pleased. This is before the miracle started his gods Artie send your mind you are my son and so all of us want to hear, especially for my dad.

I love you I'm proud of you and I'm glad that your mind I love you I'm proud of you. I'm glad that your mind and those of us who did not hear that when we were growing up. That is a pain in the core of our heart. The very core of our heart.

But you can do that to your children, even as adults. You could say that your children if I never said before son from nurses before daughter. Can I just say to you I love you I'm proud of you for so many different reasons.

Maybe not for everything you don't know not affirm send the course and I'm glad that you are my glad that you remind want to hear that affirmation. Affection is 1/3 when our heavenly father pours out his love on us.

Romans 55 says, and so should parents to their children so hug them just let him hold them appropriately. Touch your kids during your interaction with them boys to feel loved by their fathers are boulders stronger and more secure and girls who know they are loved her less desperate for a boyfriend. They're all bad and they are more careful with who they marry.

So give them meaningful gifts take them places show your affection for them in the movie courageous if you remember his 10 years ago. Some of you men are.

There is a scene in the movie were a father takes his daughter to a dinner and gives her a promise ring and he affirms her. He says affection for her delights in her and makes an agreement with her, so it wasn't my idea, but I didn't like that scene in the movie I just got it from somewhere else and then I went to that.

Okay I know you all years and we can't do it. Okay, I went to that same restaurant with my older daughter's event with the three older ones that same restaurant gave them a ring that very same thing in all of them are like that. This is the same restaurant. The movie you're doing exactly like the movie I'm like yeah I wrote that, and I had you in mind, I had you in mind, but I wanted to share that with other men. That is such a good idea to look exactly like that but affirm your daughters so they don't have this hole in their heart that they have to go find attention from some guy until they're walking with God in their 20s. All of them are worthless.

Okay I'm sorry I got it. Amen. Okay, I'll just say so. Many of them are worthless. Yeah I just a little protective of my daughters and one of the reasons I know young men are worthless when I walk with God is because I know me I was young, so anyway, we all need the Lord is with the Lord right so attention, affirmation and affection. Priceless move on number four needful boundaries put God honoring standards in place in your home, your work, your areas of entertainment that help your children understand why they're there.

No course when they're young.

If you have very young kids. Of course they need to obey you because you are mom and dad. They don't have the ability to process the reasoning behind right, but when they are older, especially when they get to be 1315 18 and you have parameters in place.

So I have this is if you will, in all the areas you would expect to have them and so we have standards in our home, our kids like your kids have challenged those fences, especially in areas of entertainment that like utilizes movie what's wrong with it all Margaret all the other search kids watch it) how many piercings is too many and right what is attached to wrong is it that all those questions right. Is it ever okay alcohol how much alcohol is coming so we have fences in my home.

So I want to share a story with you that you need to share with your kids even if their older does it help to my children understand when I'm trying to honor God and to be the shepherd of my home in their hearts.

It is my responsibility while they are in my home under my roof until they were adults and gone. It is my right responsibility to watch over them shepherd their hearts right.

I cannot do it perfectly, so I told him this story and this is when it clicks from them. Please use the story. Not sure where was over in England and I think in some places even in the northeast of the US that are like this, you will have on on the beaches. This is a really rocky beach will have this sharp cliff that goes straight up and you'll have like it levels off of their some people build houses up there about so they can go to into offense and I can see the water and everything is drop off so years ago, a father had a house up there and had a flat part of his backyard, and it went down us low to the cliff and then went straight down to the rocks on the beat. He had a at the end of the flat part of his backyard. His son grew up playing back there and everything was fine when his son was grown he inherited that house and property got married and he and his wife had twin boys the twin boys playing in the background saying they discover is not a lot of room for the twin boys know we owe so much more property property that goes down to the cliff, but it's slow so that young fathers to tell you what I'm in a move that's part of the way down the slope to give them more room to play the wooden fence that he didn't do the work to move the fence. There, eight, nine years old so they play is little bit more nice for saying that we have so much more content we play. Can we get over the fence and no do not climb over the fence ever so you is like talk about it.

They decide to move the fence again. It was their property. After all, so they move the fence further down the slope.

Eventually by the time the boys were 13, he moved the fence all the way down to the edge of the cliff center. 13 they know not climb over the fence and over the dangerous. It is our property, after all. One day the boys got into an argument who was faster you're playing in the backyard to moms inside just in the kitchen working on a meal. She hears the boys arguing the boys say okay touch the house and whoever makes it to the fence verse is the fastest. They take off running and immediately the mom realizes what could happen is the running down the slope toward the fit neither of them slow down because they want to win the race.

By the time I got to the fence.

They could not stop their momentum carried them over the fence.

Both of them dropped to their death. Rocks mom shrieks freaks out runs out word is given to your husband he comes home and all they can do is grieve at this point when the grandfather finds out when he originally a mouse becomes and he says son, why, why did you move the why did you move the fence non-ask you where should the fence have been put to ask that question. You will all have different answers but none of you will say on the edge of the cliff. You will all get some very dancers up that slope. Some of you that are very safe. Probably more legalistic right will say you should have kept it were the flat part is not ever going on the slope at all ever. Some of you will say were maybe halfway down the slope no further there still room if something happens when I asked my children that they thought about it and they gave different answers. But it was all between the flat part of the yard and a little bit down the slope. They all get answers that left a lot of room on the slope and I said can you understand that if I move the fence at all, down the slope. You could argue with me will what's different.

We moved to just one click further on 1 foot, less. You could argue that's very little difference and I would agree. But here's the point. My son and my daughter I have to put the fence somewhere. You understand that in there like yes yeah you do. We can argue about what that would let fence says but why do I put a fence around a certain area scenario entertainment a certain area of access to the Internet. Certain areas of you spending time with the opposite sex.

Why don't I want to put a fence there there like a to protect us.

Yes, to protect you. Another words you in your home have to put up boundaries and have principles and standards in place and you gotta put them somewhere know we can disagree on is the fence 1/3 of the way down the cliff halfway or maybe just 10% on the world, with variations on that.

But you have to have a sewing my home.

For example, when it comes to entertainment. I know some people don't like movies all the zombies are evil. I make movies so I do wrong with that but I do not want to play a movie in my home that takes my Lord and Savior's name in vain in my home. He is my Lord and Savior and the Lord convicted me about that is. That's why are you paying to blaspheme my name in your home. Even in the ears of your children and so I move my fence up the slope and said there's enough information technology available. You got a clear play plugged in.com you number places and learn what's in the movie, so I usually will check a movie. My kids want to see the latest Marvel movie or whatever and I'll check right in this or can we go see this Marvel moving the theater and if it takes my Lord and Savior's name in vain were not going when I going I know I'm not the one doing it. But if I'm paying to have it heard. In my years and I know that. Why would I do that to my Lord and Savior.

He died for me because Alex is a legalistic world enough to handle it. Why I can use that argument.

I'm just telling you the Lord put that on my heart is Alex.

My I love you and I died for you not called you to holiness. So my fence in that regard. When we do entertainment home if it dishonors the Lord at all what I and my home, that's me, that's where my fences, but you need fences you understand what I'm saying you gotta put the fence somewhere into the area so in my oh my kids could tell you right now this is the fence for the kinds of language and in my home. This is the fence. What kinds of entertainment.

This is a fence for who were allowed to spend time with, or the kind of music we listen to there's language in the music and in sexual aspects of the music while element is listening to what is between sexually explicit music and romantic music that has its place right so put up a fence you need boundaries, needful boundaries, and I encourage you to share with your children why you put them there and just say because I love you but the fence somewhere. So trust me as your father cares deeply for your heart and who is praying for you and loves you. Not a perfect dad, mom, soporific mom. Trust me to put the fence there for your good artist move on the next five keep hypocrisy out. This is obvious to you if you say one thing but do another or refuse to apologize for mistakes, you will lose there tries part of losing their heart.

If your children see you do something hypocritical, then you need to use stop and apologized and men. I know this is hard for all of us because we want to say lazily to what I say and not always what I do. We can't do that because your actions. You know that your actions speak louder than words, so we have to stop and apologized. As you repent and seek the Lord's forgiveness.

You may need to also seek your family's forgiveness. I am not talk about this for just a minute when a child withdraws emotionally or goes into rebellion.

A wise parent will sit down with them and start asking questions to discover what happened to break the heartstrings between them, if appropriate, a sincere apology from the parents needs to be ready first before they expect their child to apologize for their misbehavior. God can graciously redeem our failures for good provided. We recognize those failures and confess them to. Don't let pride keep you from regaining their trust and therefore their heart if I would ask you in this room and of course we can exhaust every parenting is for – you in this room are there times your children made you proud you were grateful you were blessed by them. Probably every hand will go up. And if I also said other times your children broke your heart's and maybe even today there in a situation that breaks your heart, many hands would go up. It is hard to parent children is hard. It is both an incredible blessing and it tugs at the very core of your heart is very hard and they all come into this world with different temperaments being wired different ways because they are wired by God. But what you have to do is find out how God is wire them, which is part of your homework assignment out of a process.

Love how to process attention and find out how the God is Artie given them up and nurture that for the Lord God has given us a great calling to bless and teach our children and grandchildren to love him with all their hearts, soul, mind and strength.

Select shepherd our kids hearts so they will receive our blessing into their lives. Eventually, give God their entire heart and live the great adventure yesterday and for his glory. Why whoever wants the next generation of the most will get them. We have to fight for the hearts of our children.

Does the world want the loyalty of your children.

Yes they do.

They want their mindset yes they do. They want their political views their spiritual abuse, or lack thereof. Yes, the world wants to own the hearts of our children. You and I cannot just let your teachers or your pastor youth minister is good as they might be to raise your here in my job specially when a runner home.

We have to embrace my well we been listing to Alex Kendrick talking about how we raise kids of faith and those priorities. We gotta keep those in front of us and a great message. I feel fire that you like fight for our kid. I mean, I was inspired here and it in person. And here again I want to share with people parents like we said we said earlier, this is the thing we lay in bed at night and think about and he gives us handles and practical steps say you can do this and here's how you do it well. It's easy to share this with others.

You can go to our website. Family life to a.com. There's a link there to the complete message from Alex Kendrick and you can download it or share it with others. Again, the website is family life to a.com. Alex and his brother Stephen have written a book called prayer works. Prayer strategy and training for kids.

It's a book that we also have in our family life to a resource center you can order that from us online and if you have not yet gone through family life's art on parenting video series either online or with the group. This is essential training for parents Alex and Stephen Kendrick are contributors to that series along with Alastair Begg, Riley and Corey Lorentz, Dennis and Barbara Laney, Tim and Darcy Kimball. So many people who contributed to this article. Parenting video series get all the information about the series online@familylifetoa.com. If you have a young parents small group in your church, or if is an older couple you'd like to mentor some younger couples get the series and take them through it again. The information is available online@familylifetoa.com now a week from tonight we are going to be kicking off a small group of our own for three weeks on Facebook live were going to have a love like you mean it study.

This is based on the book I've just completed called love like you mean it will be looking at first Corinthians 13. You can sign up to be part of the love like you mean it.

Small group Thursday nights 7 o'clock central time on Facebook live go to our website. Family life to a.com for more information about how you can be part of the love like you mean it Facebook live small group starting next Thursday night. Tomorrow we're going to hear about just how powerful a wife can be in the life of her husband, Dr. Julie Slattery shares with us strategies for how a wife can powerfully and profoundly minister to her husband. I hope you can tune in for the thinker engineer today.

Keith Lynch along with our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our hosts Dave and Ann Wilson. I'm Bob Lapine will see you back next time for another edition of family life today, family life, to use a production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas.

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