Law Enforcement: Meeting the Needs of Our Local Communities

After years in law enforcement Adam Davises own marriage was on the brink took a wake-up call for God to heal his relationship with his wife today is challenging husbands to keep their priorities straight.

Whenever I talked to a brother who is law enforcement or just a man struggling with his marriage, his relationship with Christ. One of the first thing the Tillamook basin now is barred and paid for this move all now here's what you can do going forward. Stop making excuses in a routine of discipline takes self-control and give it to God and go and do the things which are supposed to do every single day.

This is family life today. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson on Bob Lapine confined to some on the family life today.com you can make a decision whether you going to fight in your marriage or fight for your Adam Davises here to talk with us about that today.

State's and welcome to family life today. Thanks for joining us. Have you ever done a ride along where you're in the back seat of a police cruiser.

I've been in the backseat but not a lot. I mean, what I was before were married but I spent the night. Did you know that I did not know this. I think we put in one of our books with your wife is asking Henry that you after you spent a night in jail.

Well I was gonna spend the night my mom came at me get back to what you don't want to down for now. I mean honestly, it was simply 1970s craziness. You know, on a Friday night with my buddies I 75 reveille.

Therefore, as a believer, 18, 19 years.

I think I was 17 price Union high school drink in. We said the moon the car beside us think I did. And you know to the old moon sat in. Next thing you know the police are after us and we avoid turn into this town and start race into that little tiny town and end up like in a car wash thinking. Although never find us in a pro rata car in front Cronbach get out and they take us out of jail and they basically say you're spending the night and you know not only did we moon somebody, which you hate satisfied right is your favorite ivory is yells and avoiding you are. I guess the rest. I don't know. Anyway, they allowed they allowed our parents to come and I had a single mom and she came in, they let her take me home.

It to 3 AM but glad and end up spending the night, but man did I get reamed out by my mom and here's good news have never moon database and that was my one night in the back of a police car in the back and please Know if you have off officer Adam Davis try to guess on family life over former officer, but the Adam welcome back to Babylon today that I preferred use officer because if you had been behind a group of teenage boys monkeyed around like this is not a member so that I have been out of work for six years in law enforcement, and since then has been our writer a conference speaker. He's written books aimed at the guys in the profession that you are part of you have a heart for reaching police officers police officers families because you know that these guys were not just on the front line in terms of what they're experiencing in the culture, but there in a spiritual battlefield to mercy missed everything that you see occurring in our physical world is a result of what's going on.

The spirit world. There is a battle for your soul and you know what the word says the enemy comes to kill still and destroy we have laws against that in the natural whether the login seven spirit and Jesus came to fulfill the law.

He can't completely defeated him.

But what I come to learn through my interrogation of God which humbled me telling you mentioned it earlier you interrogate a God take us into that little bit. I mean it wasn't like interrogate and will he never love you. Have you ever had a question that maybe just you would be frowned on if you ask in church. Why did these things happen.

I'm not listing because everybody's got their own thing but for me interrogating him, I realized why cops are needed because somewhere today little girl her little boy has been abused and are hunkered down in the closet somewhere in the crime they're afraid the hurt they don't know what love feels like from a parent in their asking God to send somebody to them. Send me an angel help me get out of this angel will come in. He's in the form of a man or a woman wearing a blue uniform, most of the time, with a badge and go, take the baby away from there and put them in the home was about 11 and it's our job as the body of Christ to equip those men and women with the love of Jesus with his word and make sure we take care of them as part of the body. If we don't we will be held accountable for that because they are stewards of peace and law and order and we have to take care of our public servants and so for the little girl or the little boy or the abused wife who may be crying for an angel today. We have to invest in cops because who better to send in the broken situations than women. Women who been changed by the love of the living God. That's my passion. When you talk about reaching comp for him. That's why because it's not just comfort touch and were dispatching them into every community across the nation and we could create a sweeping move of God's presence and change across the country. This time, and it starts I fully believe it can start within cops and when the marriages and we could see a change in our country and it may not look like we seen in the past were churches are fueled, but it could be more homes are filled with the love of God in abuse has been remedied, and justice have been served for people who have created violent crimes and so I think that's one of the reasons why you see some of things going on today is because were on the brink of one of the biggest moves of God in American history and it starts within the life of a cop. I'm thinking most police departments. There are maybe a handful of people who are actually trying to live out their faith sort in uniform. I'm also thinking that their fellow officers might kinda look on them as they often get soft. Not the case. Yeah what this how I felt. I felt like if I listen to some southern gospel music on the regular patrol, when the guy got in who just beat somebody and we will break. He's going to see me a soft, you know, or that I'm going to say they're having a bad day. Show the mercy and let them cook note, but that's the thing I developed this this theory through my own experience that faith doesn't make you weak. It makes you unbeatable because with him you were never defeated.

You may face battles and so I adopted the phrase simpering victors which means always undefeated and just sounds really cool. I just say always undefeated because that's the state doesn't make you weak. It makes you unbeatable as long as your faith is in the right place that I know that the above is yes, I question again.

I want make comparisons, but it does seem similar in some ways to the NFL are to be a pro athlete or an athlete in the locker rooms and there is the same mentality you give your life to Christ even had coaches would say I just lost a great player he can be soft he's gonna it you hit somebody in the field say hey Harry.

Okay enough, you know, I never often trying to help even had coaches who sort of looked at me as a chaplain, like I don't know if I want my player spent a lot of time with you because you make of socks when my jobs is likely tell you what a athlete should be like if he's a follower of Christ on the field. I was called at the three eyes. He should be the most intense player not just game day, but in practice because he's like this matters on a plane for head-coaching Mart or an owner on plan for the Lord Jesus Christ who gives life for me. So every time I'm looking at film every time I'm taken a practice rep.

I am hundred percent then on their early on their late every calico should I want I want to buy my like Ruby like that guy.

The Christian should model it looks like that's the first I've second one's integrity that they should be the we can take him at the work.

Why because they honor somebody bigger than the head coaches like him. Plan for, so if I give you my word is going to be my bot you're gonna be a man I can trust and and third was intentionality tension eyes like a plan for something more than just one a game I want people to see Christ some intentional about how work and then even how I handle an interview afterwards.

I'm thinking that's exactly the same thing and in Haley's apartment military. I think that it is our responsibility we have to look back and take responsibility as the church is in people whenever I talked to a brother who is law enforcement or just a man struggling with his marriages relationship with Christ. One of the first thing that Attila Ms. look at what you've done.

Face it, now it's barred and paid for this move all now here's what you gonna do going forward.

Stop making excuses, get a routine of discipline takes self-control and give it to God and go and do the things which are supposed to do every single day and stop telling me what's wrong. If you're not gonna bring something to the table what you would fix it. And so it's time for the church to rise, this time for men of God to rise up men who were armed with his word who know how to pray who are willing to take a stand. The nation needs you now needs every one of us. Now it's your fellow officers think that you had softened when you came to faith. You know, there were some of the digital absolute was only glancing at the date that the out-of-court part of it. I sound like what I say on Chris right now, but it was this part of it. To an extent.

You just have to be willing and and I wasn't perfect and I think that's what we have to get to the point is I'm not perfect. I'm going to mess up. I'm going to fall at some point something I'm gonna mess up don't put that only there's only one perfect and he's my best friend and I'm trying but I've caught a lot of flak and I've caught a lot of questions from people who said why did you leave law enforcement after only six years letting retire.

Frankly, there's only 24 hours in the day and there's only so much I could do what the vision I had out where I was at, and it was a matter of calculated risk and massive faith on military. I didn't know what was in front of me except for one step and then I took that step in obedience of faith in God has honored every step of the way and that's how I got to Little Rock Arkansas today and you know this is one step of faith to the top and I knew that would be popular, but I would rather be known as fateful over famous I want to honor him.

It's all about him.

He's the hero of my story, not me.

He is the number one hero did you ever find guys in the department or guys you work with that previously mocked you made fun of you. I math sought a locker room like no you don't drink anymore you will go to strip clubs anymore. What happened to you go home your wife you loser you six months nine months later that guy is going through something to guess where ago studied the call make the accident just to this appointment may not always be the ones I worked with, but I have had people that I worked with. Come to me this is taken time I've had him drop by my house and say you know you have a Bucher unity want talker and I got a question the common tears, but I taught the cops across the country that are in different stages allow for their marriage or their dealing with stuff they don't have the amount of counsel, Mona Dr. I'm just a brother who's been in been where you've been, in many cases, understanding how to navigate through that and still keep keep yourself intact and not lose your faith. Not that is something that you have in a bag, but that can be lost, but understanding that no matter what happens today or tomorrow that he is still God and that he is always good.

No matter the circumstances, and it is our responsibility to walk out by the hands and feet of Christ in this world and to literally be salt in the line and when we can go to these dark places like that were fulfilling what is called us to do. How did your policing change after you committed your life to Christ were you a different police officer afterwards than you had been before now. I probably was more aggressive than this forest looking for stuff because there is freedom looking for. Instead of going to sit in the parking lot. Every once in a while when I'm tired, but were due to report. I wanted to find people breaking the law. I want to pursue what was being done wrong.

I wanted to be more thorough.

I wanted to be perfect in what I did. The intensity day was talk about the first CF F.

Turned out white-hot and it was nothing that I was tall necessarily what like I headed on a poster card them out patrol car. It was just like I feel alive again. And there's a line that wants to roar and Lisko roar for their character issues that had to get worked out things that you might have done differently before you came to Christ never did anything like that on on the job ever had things out of there with them with my marriage but we dealt with at me and the wife and God and got some. He opened it and it didn't matter to what degree unfaithfulness occurred. It occurred today we have to go back and look at what defines unfaithfulness of the marriage, text messaging inappropriately can be unfaithfulness in your marriage. It didn't have to be something only under the sheets and so we dealt with that so I feel freedom to talk about enough talk about it in bullet proof marriage and in the comforts of the speak out and and look for the signs of how to avoid it out of run from it and one of the greatest weapons you have in your marriage is transparency and I was not you know when I shut down. We talked about earlier when I go home and I take off my gear. That is an invitation from Satan when you want to withdraw would be solid and isolate because now you're isolated and you want talk about what's going on now, when you've already shut her down. She human being, she's going to say we are being a jerk when you become such a jerk used to be a great husband and a great man, a great father. I don't talk to Seymour and nano now you you got resentment and division in your home and now the enemy comes in in the form of somebody who's telling you how great you look or how good of a man you are in the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This way works and so understanding the strategies of Satan and how we can combat the strategies is that one of the reasons why both premiered. Britain must live with. So when you wrote the book in 45 days, not because of that good because I gave him a deadline of 45 so is tough talk about that a little bit to affirm life because not only in the police force that I mean wives are struggling so many times wanting their husbands to open up wanting them to share. But maybe I think she's talking now you sound testy so many maybe there there has been sit down and all he does is watch TV and drink beer threats the night and she's feeling so isolated from him, how can we help as whites to be used tough love. What are the things that would be helpful for me it's giving me a safe place to address hard things I don't need somebody else to tell me what I've done wrong or to criticize what I've already done or to question everything. Every decision I had to make in a microsecond that most people could make in a lifetime. I wanted to be a place to where she literally holds me in her arms and says there's nothing that you can say this off-limits to me. I am your safe place and so if I've got the rent she's like okay and she can toss it. She could discard it.

She can handle it, but it's not always sit down and say in how was your day fun right move all this boring. Nobody wants a marriage like that and so having a man that's willing to stand up and say your hair looks great or I don't worry about this is, I've got this just taken initiative are having the conversation ended up only have to be the sit down at the table with the you know with the kids away in bed and to sit here and just stare at each other and talk about things men make it interesting us a laugh.

The we were created to thrive. He came to give us life and and sometimes this is been twisted out of context and more abundantly. And that's not always financially stuff I don't think it means that at all, but he created us to thrive, because when we thrive in him we crush the enemy in this world and we are the only hope for this world. When we walk in the purpose he's created us to walk in and there is a world that needs men and women who are willing to have those conversations in the home because there's a whole another generation, bond that if we don't show them how to do it. How are they going to have to we had somebody early in our marriage who suggested that when I get home from work.

The first thing that needs to happen is that the term they used was Time there needs to be in you set aside 15 minutes and you need to put everything else aside and you have 15 minutes to catch time.

Kids cannot be involved in catch time, it can just be the husband and the wife and it's where you debrief about the day what what was your day like what was my day like it's just the two of you is catch time. Sounds scary to guys well. Here's what I had to ride the calibrate forward as I had to recognize as I'm coming home. That's on my schedule today so I will get home.

It's can be 535 3545 is catch time I got an appointment. I got a meeting with my wife Ray talk about these things and it's not that it was scary but if it wasn't purposeful and intentional. If it wasn't planned. I could easily let that slide. It wasn't what I was thinking when I get home. The first thing I want to do is sit on the debrief about my day.

I'd rather get home and relax to something else and maybe I needed 15 minutes to do that before catch time right. I think you can work all of this out but I had a friend who said on his way home from work every day. He used to pull into a parking lot between the office and his house and he would spend five minutes in the parking lot and he would intentionally recalibrate and go. I'm going to my second job and this second job needs as much of me as my first job and so I need to get out of the multibillion kind of shut that off, I need to prepare for what I'm entering into, and I need to arrive home ready to go to work and I thought that's the mindset we need to have his dads and parted going to work is we have this 15 minute meeting between the CEO and the COO of the family corporation.

We got talk about what's going on around here are the kids what's happened with you what's happened with me okay now let's go have dinner and we can take the rest evening yeah I think what Adam what you said great a great word safe place. If a spouse feels like his wife or his or her husband is a safe place where I can be me and be affirmed and understood, then they are going open up, but if it isn't like you said, if this critique are there and shut down and so I think that's what a man long fun.

I'm guessing a wife does too. It's like wow I would run to that she wears that this is a place where I feel affirmed. I feel heard weathers 15 minutes on the couch or 10 minutes before you go to bed or whatever, it just daily. A rhythm that there's a place in my life that I'm understood and I'm affirmed so now I'm running there and had one more kit because I did this very poorly for so many years in our relationship and our marriage. David come home and I had all these expectations and then when he did meet the expectations. I was critical I was grumpy and think it was a great, safe place to come home to and I would remind women to that a lot of men will bind shoulder to shoulder until I think I got boring. We stop playing stop laughing. We stopped doing fun things because life is demanding we have kids we have stress. I remember Dave and I went out not too long ago and he said I'm to go play golf and I'm not a golfer. I just went to ride along the cart and remember he's ready to to swing the club and I just said what hell these laughing that just a little sentence that I don't think I'm amazing how just laughing together, admiring your spouse and going somewhere where I think that the table at first can feel intimidating. If you feel like you're going to be interrogated should know the principle that if you're having fine in your complementing in your step, telling your spouse, the good things that they've done that opens the door to create great commerce and I and I live one last thing, if you and your spouse decided for the next 90 days working to going to a training program to make our marriage better we do it all time our bodies with our guy 30 day 6990 day you pick up will prove marriage which I did and I thought I might relate to because not really written to.

I'm not police officer. It relates to anybody not just police officers he start raining like oh my goodness. If my wife and I did this for nine days. I'm guessing there's a guarantee on the end of that night as your marriage is gonna be in a different place was on day one was better to communicate better. If you go through and do the work every day for 90 days.

I marriage counselor. She recorded a video and held the book up. She said of every one of the couples who come to me would go through this book every year you would never have to see me.

You said your marriage would be a whole other level and greatly honored by that. However, it is not a replacement for's seem professional help if you need it. But yes if you put those principles to work. You're going to be better communicators.

Therefore, good communicators, we are better husbands and wives and lovers well if if most wives came to her husband and said let's do a devotional together.

The husband's like I don't want to do that bring a bullet proof marriage and there like okay a look at this one and and each day takes idle five minutes 10 minutes to go through this. You absolutely want a great investment of your time and your day written by a guy who understands what it's like on the front lines of life and of marriage I I just think a guide go.

I'm open to this look prove marriage sounds like the kind a devotional. I could go to the mall to go does this you may and I hope you do what you may have a great marriage right now, but it never once in a while they start to get a little boring if you're not careful, staleness, stereo if you want to immediately put some of that pre-lit presoak charcoal on your marriage and throw a match on it. Go home to your wife and say Babe. The student will prove marriage for nesting devotional together as a look of delight and I can't guarantee a lot of things, but I think that I don't foresee because they were thrown at a lie.

I want to let listeners know how they can get bullet proof marriage before I do that a lot of our listeners will be restaurant today or coffee shop someplace or to see a couple of people in uniform men and women and and they're probably gonna be the. The folks will go up to them and say thank you for your service. I'm sure that's meaningful at some level to an officer's or something else we could say something better. We could say how can we honor those who are serving us.

Thank you goes a long way, but in a world that screams I hate you so loudly I think we have to turn love up a notch and whether you give them a copy of behind the badger bullet proof marriage, or if you're in a restaurant and you bother me you or if you leave a note at the counter. If you don't want to approach them.

If you don't feel comfortable approach which you can bother me to leave them in note router Scripture out doing something that's meaningful thank you is meaningful and out and I'm not below devaluing that but I'm just saying in a world where hate is been turned up at a level like it's never been turned up to before. I think we gotta turn ours up a little bit louder and let him know that we love them and was sporting a warfarin form good word that I think you think you so much for having me and and thanks for these resources that we can give as a gift to people we know who are involved in law enforcement or I'm I'm just think about showing up at a local precinct or at the police station with a box of these books and say and I brought these down to give as a gift to any officer who might need a church could do that you could do that as an individual atoms written a marriage devotional 90 day devotional for marriage is called bullet proof marriage is got a 365 day devotional for officers call behind the badge and then a book called on spiritual combat 30 missions for victorious spiritual warfare again. You can see all that Adam is written when you go to our website. Family life today.com order any of these books from us online@familylifetoday.com or call one 800 FL today to get a copy of any of Adams books again.

The three titles bullet proof marriage behind the badge and on spiritual combat by not more@familylifetoday.com or call to order 1-800-358-6329 that's one 800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today and we talked about how people in law enforcement are in high risk situations when it comes to marriage but stop and think about it. In this culture.

In this year. All that's been going on. There are a lot of marriages that have been pushed to the edge and there are people in your church people in your community people you know how you may not know the strain thereunder in their marriage. You may not recognize the conflict that's going on, but I guarantee you that there's more happening than you realize your family life. Our goal is to provide a lifeline to be able to help pull people out of the ditch.

They may be M then get their marriage get their family pointed in the right direction headed down the road again. Our goal is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We go through this radio program. Our podcasts our website. The events that were able to hold up with were able to hold events and you make all of this possible as you support the ministry of family life today and were grateful for those regular blisters who either as monthly legacy partners or with an occasional donation invest in the lives of so many people all around the world. Thank you for your support of family life today. If you're a longtime listener and you've never made a donation or if you're a regular listener and it's been a while to our website. Family life today.com today make a donation or call us at one 800 FL today to donate so that we can continue providing practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families all around the world. Thanks for helping to make that possible, and we hope you can join us again tomorrow when working to talk about some of the people in the Bible whose reputations are not not all that great. Nancy Guthrie is going to join us and working to talk not just about the Saints but about some of the scoundrels we read about in both the old and New Testament. I hope you can tune in for that conversation. I don't think our engineer today.

Keith Lynch along with our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our hosts Dave and Wilson. I'm Bob Lapine back next time for another edition of family life today.

Family life today is a production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas. Accrue ministry help for today hope for tomorrow