In Pursuit of Love

When Rebecca Bender's boyfriend turned out not to be a boyfriend at all but instead a human trafficker because life had already taken a downward spiral. She was a single parent.

Now she was a drug addict, a victim of domestic violence and desperate. My mom had shown up to take my daughter from me she thought I just become a gigantic telling you I was being trafficked. I don't think any small town family thinks human trafficking right you think something's wrong with Becky. That's what they would say something's wrong. As she on drugs. She into mystic violence that everyone thought domestic violence because I was being beaten, but no one realized that it was to keep me in compliance. This is family life today. Our hosts are David and Wilson on Bob being will hear Rebecca Bender's story today and hear how God delivered her from the desperation she was stay with us and welcome to family life today. Thanks for joining us. I don't think you guys a better chance to hear this today. What were really here. I recently listened to an interview that Kim Anthony who has a podcast.

It's part of the family podcast network called unfavorable odds. Kim is telling stories, introducing us to people who have the Avenue in the middle a very difficult life circumstances found hope and redemption and help and healing. She interviewed Rebecca Bender recently on Rebecca story is what it it's one of those stories that this is happening all around us but we don't we don't see it. We don't know it. It's a story of being trafficked, being led into prostitution how she got trapped in that house. She didn't have any hope of getting out of that and how God met her in the midst of that and what you guys are here and what our audience is good here really is a remarkable story of redemption. I think we have to remember as we listen to this. Whatever the desperate circumstances. People are in there is no circumstance that is beyond God's ability to step in and rescue and redeem yeah and the story from the little I know is a testament to that. And just as I look at the details of Mike only God. Yes, I take this life from the pit and do what got us only God can do this. It's also a reminder that God can take our mass and make it our message. I think that's what's happened with Rebecca. When you hear that today is as we pick up the of the interview and this went on for maybe almost an hour and 1/2 you listen to the podcast you can listen to the entire interview, but Rebecca met a guy they became boyfriend and girlfriend. They moved from her hometown to Las Vegas. Everything was moving forward in their relationship.

She was, not following Christ and one night he suggested they try again and that game was that she would sleep with somebody else and they would make money doing and that was the introduction that ultimately led to this being the regular practice. This is how they made money. He was trafficking his girlfriend as a way to make money and she was trapped in it because she was dependent on the money she was making in order to survive. And that's where Kim picks the story up as we listen to this excerpt from her podcast. This is a man who was telling you that he loved you yet. He was selling you to other men did that ever raise a red flag for you absolutely mean I think that's partly why he got sick of me constantly crying and saying this isn't what you promised me I can actually remember a time we would get in physical fights quite a bit, and domestic violence call had been called on our apartment and I can remember once him kind he slapped me across the face and he laughed and I remember just falling to the floor in the kitchen and just crying and I wiped my mouth and I saw the blood on my hand and I remember thinking what more can I do to make him laugh like I've crossed lines I'd never crossed. I I've done things I so I've never town like this wasn't what he promised me he calls it again, but this is an again to me like this is my life and later on when I finally met Jesus ahead.

I can remember the first time within the first few months of getting saved. The Lord brought that memory to my mind is sitting on the kitchen floor and I remember hearing the voice of God say to me that's how I feel about you. What more can I do to make you love me. I've given my life to the point of being crucified on across. What more can I do to make you left knee and I just I wept because I would never want to give Jesus the same kind of heartbreak that I know I felt in my life before you met Jesus. How did you cope with living with that lifestyle. I ended up using a lot of drugs and alcohol to cope in the beginning I became addicted to cocaine. By the age of 21 so full-blown addict. If my dealer was never wasn't around our available I'd resort to any drugs you smoke crack in the 50s bent over in the floorboard of a car.

I can remember hitting my pretty lowest of low. At that moment thinking. I've really crossed some line insight. I don't know in our brain where we make these invisible lines right Michael, I'm not an addict. If I don't shoot needles is what I kind of thought in my brain. But then when I'm hunched down in the floorboard of the car smoking crack.

I thought wow, I really am an addict and I need help. So I definitely self medicated to cope tell me that the night that you and your friend Amy decided to hang out. Remember that night. Oh yeah Amy what what were you referring to is Amy she become a friend of mine that was also being trafficked her and I used drugs together frequently and my mom had shown up to take my daughter from me she thought I just become a drug addict. No one knew I was being trafficked.

I don't think any small town family thinks human trafficking right you think now something is wrong with Becky. That's what they would say something is wrong is she on drugs that she and domestic violence that everyone thought domestic violence because I was being beaten, but no one realized that it was to keep me in compliance. So my mom had taken my daughter and I felt at that moment like I had no other reason to live and I tried to kill myself twice. The second time was with Amy I purposely tried to overdose to kill myself. I just thought I just want to go home to Jesus. Maybe everything would be better and have an and I thought my daughters with my mom now so she's safe in this adjusted for like I had any more reason to live and I couldn't figure out a way out.

Did you know Jesus at this time. My grandma was a praying grandma. She took me to Sunday school when I was a little girl if I'd spend weekends with her. She was always in charge of the vacation Bible school in our town, so I would go to VBS every summer she would take me to a one as I can remember memorizing verses as a spark for Jesus mental life the way I do remember that. Still to this day is like six and here I am 38 and still remover the song so clearly it works so yeah I mean I had a of view of Jesus.

I probably was all a little bit skewed.

My parents never went to church. My parents were living for the Lord. But my grandma didn't my praying grandma really made a difference in my life for sure, but they will teach about Rahab and to mom and dad Sunday school or teaching and much more age-appropriate storage so I didn't realize that Jesus loved girls like me, he loved Mary Magdalene.

He trusted Rahab. He he loves girls like not know what I felt so ashamed God would never love people like me anymore and I was unsure how to even change some of my behaviors or mindset so so I just kept crying out with Amy. I just wanted to go home and I kept trying to overdose on drugs and I eventually blacked out. I don't really remember how I got to the hospital but I woke up in hospital and they thought that my brain is hemorrhaging that I was overdose.

I had overdosed and they wanted to do a CAT scan and I just rumor thinking of me to get in trouble from my trafficker and so I ripped the monitors out and they made me sign it AMA against medical advice that if I died today they would be held liable and I woke up several days later in the back of a car. I can remember waking up feeling like I couldn't breathe like you're in a hot vehicle.

I could only imagine like how animals might feel if you're locked in the hot car, since I remember waking up just like gasping for breath in this really hot, stuffy car in Las Vegas and whatever time the year was out of and remember and I never had any medical problems since like I don't know what happened. I don't know if Jesus healed me. I don't know if he stopped me from tying all I know was the doctors were concerned, and I woke up three days later in the back of a car healthy and fine and ready to get help ready to get help. So to turn to for that help.

I called my mom and I said okay I'm ready to go to rehab and I believe my mom and my grandma maybe my aunt I'm sure collaborated got me a list of rehabs and there is list of several rehabs on the that they gave me over the phone. I wrote down on a piece of paper and one of them was a Christian rehab and I thought I encountered a Christian you have any excursions.

I got a clue what life on the streets is like. I knew it and no vacancy but the Christian rehab like that's is how God works everywhere. No vacancy everywhere. I called so you went back to Oregon and you went to victory outreach was it yet. I went back to Oregon I left I just left it all left every couch every piece of clothing.

I just packed up a bag and left my vehicle and that airport parking and I just member leaving a voicemail to my quote unquote boyfriend saying I can't do this. This is in a game to me like this is my life.

This is what you promised me I'm in a go get clean. I gotta get my daughter back in. I think he was pretty happy to let me go is kind of the trouble girl out of everyone. He had just because I was so in love and I was so hurt that I I made that known and I left a voice bill for my drug dealer you back either. Those are the two calls I made and left everything sitting therein.

Went to victory outreach and you encounter God there and you and of radical encounter with God that changed my life.

I was radically delivered from drugs in the blink of an eye, at the altar, which I know is not everybody's experience and I am so grateful you hear stories, but you don't really know that okay that's good for you that's not how it works in the rest of our world. You know, I've heard stories like that and so to have it actually happen. I got delivered probably first of 2003. So 16 years clean and sober never desire to use drugs or smoke cigarettes ever again. We been listing to excerpt from Kim Anthony's podcast on favorable odds. An interview she did with Rebecca Bender and again all reminder listers if you'd like to hear the entire conversation and it is riveting. Go to family life today.com and the of the complete podcast is available there. It was interesting to hear her say when you are in this lifestyle we do look and say why don't you just step away and it's not that easy. I have a friend that grew up in Detroit that was traffic in Detroit and she's come to know Jesus.

I've been mentoring her for several years and that same question came to my mind. Can you just walk out, but it's so complicated there's so many things that are going on that I don't think any of us really understand the magnitude of the hurt of the addiction of the pain of the fear that's going on in these women's lives and I think it's also interesting. Rebecca talks about being healed and yet healing sometimes is the moment many times it's a life she's going to continue to be healed.

As she goes forward as well. Here she was healed from drugs and from alcohol and from cigarette smoking, but she met another guy and what she thought was maybe going to be a different kind of relationship wound up being the same kind of relationship she had been in before.

Am was back into being graphic, so what is this new place your ticket out man this place ended up being worse than I'd ever ever seen or experienced, so intense brainwashing and so much extreme violence. I'd I've been beaten so much that had my face broken in five places and how it cracked my nose twice my maxillofacial's in my turbine nights impounded oxidative surgery several years ago because I couldn't.

I wasn't equalizing when flying Simon have lots of pain when flying. I didn't even know that this kind of abuse happened other than on movies. It was very extreme and I started to feel like I was going crazy living in that kind of fear really affects your psychology. I felt like this guy's followed II get out the car and try to check my mirrors for was so paranoid I thought. Cameras are in my car and he would tell me conversations that I have in private he would repeat to me and made me think he was listening or follow.

He would randomly show up where I was maybe think he had a tracking defy me like it was extreme, and I thought I'm going crazy. I have got to get out of this. I literally felt like my mind was slipping away from me and I started feeling like I feel like I'm going crazy.

I don't know us.

I feel really really trapped. I started out one night she member beating my head against the floor like we had this marble bathroom and I just remember beating my head against the floor feeling like I'm going crazy.

I don't know how to get out of the city more like this was really extreme. Worse, before like I was trapped from love. I was in these mental chains from love and now I'm like I'm physically being abused daily. My brain is slipping away and I don't know how to get out of the city more. Did you ever think about Jesus and the relationship you have developed with him during these times absolutely my first time back right after I had left victory outreach. I couldn't remember actually feeling like I could actually see the demonic a little bit and people like their faces shifted when they would buy me. I can remember one guy having like I felt like these really pointy teeth. It's kind of weird I know my repeat freak people out.

That didn't last very long know if I'm honest lesson about a day or two and I must agree the spirit, but I can remember praying over myself. I mean Victor averages he is a Pentecostal church. I can never go in full Pentecostal like I buy in the spirit of rage in the name of Jesus is loose of the spirit of peace over my help I would pray like that over myself while being trafficked and I just imagined that Jesus was sitting next to me in the car and I just felt like I don't know what to do anymore because I kind I don't know how to get out of this.

I've got myself into some stuff man. That's real dangerous and I don't know what to do and he showed up again. He always comes through him so grateful just what a mighty God we serve man. How did he show up to 2006 the feds rated the Dallas home that the other victims weren't there. They had warrants for my trafficker and the wife and law that had recruited me that work for their arrest, but they were there they were in Vegas so at that point we knew the fence had been watching us. They took the other two women in they were hoping to build a case of trafficking against our trafficker in hopes that the victims would talk but everyone was way too afraid and way to brainwash her traumatized so no one would talk at that point we learned from those women being released on bail and starting to begin a potential plea deal for her charges were to stick we knew that they had been surveillance a customer 18 months they had been dodging our trash man pulling a trash man over at the end of our street and taking our trash and look digging through it for evidence and my trafficker at that point started getting very paranoid like oh, the feds are watching you write like I mentioned that sinking in and thinking like this is serious like the feds are asked are you this is no joke like uncle is my baby to the state to end up in prison. I can do this.

My I gotta figure this out and that was real scary Rebecca, how did you get out my trafficker was sentenced to 24 months in prison for tax evasion.

He had a self surrender date that was coming up and he ended up violently attacking the little boy in the home and I remember rushing my daughter to her room and shutting her in it sake don't come up to mommy comes and gets you. And then I called my aunt who worked at a domestic violence shelter. I told her what happened and she said that's can happen to your little girl and I said no know he loves her and she said she's on seven and compliant and at 15 when she talks back for the first time that will happen to your little girl, and that hit me.

I knew she was right knew as soon as you disrespected or said something you were supposed to say that you would be hurt, and so I packed up everything I could. As soon as he left to go tell his mom he was going prison for tax evasion and I got my girl and ran. I asked my mom to put our plane tickets on her credit card which he of course did, but it made me think later on when I started getting involved in antitrafficking work. It made me think about all the young women or young people out there who don't have a mom to call a huge percentage of trafficked people in our country come from foster care. In my state and the state of Oregon, 95% of trafficked teens have been in foster care since age 2 1/2 anyone to call and have anywhere to go and I think that's why antitrafficking efforts are so valuable because there are people who want to run people that need to run and have a moment when they can.

They don't know who to call and they don't know where to go and we need the people of God to rise up and help come defenders and protectors of our widows and orphans say yeah. So for those young women who are listening right now who are being trafficked. Where should they go what should they do if they don't have a family or a mother to call if someone is listening.

That's been trafficked. Right now I would tell you you're not alone. You don't have to live like this. There actually hundreds if not thousands of advocates out there right now in this army to fight sex for sale that have been fighting for you.

That value you know you're important in your left and there's resources. I know it's hard but just like grab your suitcase and run man and called the one 800 on human trafficking Hotline, which is 1-888-373-7888. You can also text help to be free again we been listening to a conversation that came Anthony on her podcast on favorable odds with Rebecca Bender and Rebecca has written a book that shares her story being trafficked. The book is called in pursuit of love. It's a book that we got our website@familylifetoday.com along with the toll-free number that Rebecca just mentioned, and the text information. I'll just give the number of units 888-373-7888 or you can text the word help to 233733. Let's be free and if you listen to the entire interview, which again is available on our website is will you learn that Rebecca is married she is raising her kids and you hear about the conversation she had with her boyfriend was now her husband where she had to say this is my past, how that went. What it meant for her to open up and be honest about and to here's a woman like Rebecca can have a new life brings hope. I mean, you hear the store and you think there's only to be darkness at the end of this and there's light in Jesus actually can do that in all of our lives as we take a step toward think I get a little fiery about it because I think we need to be praying because this is going on in our country and people are talking about it and they're starting to acknowledge it. We need to be praying that God will set these women free will. Again, you can go to our website. Family life today.com to listen to Kim Anthony's entire podcast interview with Rebecca Bender. It's the favorable odds podcast you'll find a link on our website@familylifetoday.com there's information about Rebecca's ministry about her book all about available at family life today got, give me questions we can help you give us a call at one 800 FL today, one 803 586-329-1800 F as in family L as in life than the word today and we hope you have a very good week and hope you can join us back on Monday to talk about how to raise daughters who are confident in who they are special when the culture is trying to push them in your follows. Join us to talk about the computers will think our engineer today key points along with our entire broadcast team on behalf of our host David Van Wilson on Bob have a great week and will see you Monday for another addition, family life, family life today is a production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas.

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