Ideas for Connecting With Your Grandkids

Each one of us will leave a legacy. Mary Lou Moya says as grandparents we ought to be more intentional about the legacy we hope to be leaving to our grandkids do think a lot of that when I'm gone. I want them to know that they had grandparents who loved him and prayed for him and I know I write my babbling right when things happen probably for the last 25 years, 20, 25 years dates and went what happened or problems and how God answered it and says someday someone will probably look at that and say you know God does answer prayers. This is family life today hosts are Damien Wilson and Bob Lapine can find us online@familylifetoday.com if you thought about what it is you're doing. That will leave an intentional legacy for your children and your grandchildren will talk more about that today. Stay with us and welcome to family life to.

Thanks for joining us.

I just got back from doing little grandparenting little fresh grandparenting and I what happened. Where were you know we we going to visit our son and daughter-in-law in Texas and they just had a new grandbaby, and so we went and we were with their four-year-old and with the new grandbaby but I didn't know there is such a thing. There is now a product its markers for drawing, but the markers only work on a special kind of paper using this so if you have these markers and you write on the wall or you write on the rug or anything it doesn't make a mark, but you use the special paper and the marker shows up on that kind of paper. Where was that I know I'm learning so much about the cool new apps and the cool new toys. I did so much drawing. We did a lot of tracing of hands and my my granddaughter kept leaving my thumb off and I go, I only have for a great time being a grand parent is a lot of fun because at the end of the day. You can leave. Maybe that's what the grandfather say. Although getting good night sleep is pretty nice. Here's the other thing I think about what I think by grandparenting.

When I was a kid and my grandparents would come to visit.

They were so cold now is my grandkids and I'm so yeah I don't think I can start thinking that we have got somebody joining us today who loves being a Mama Mary Lou Moya is with us on family like today. Welcome back Obama it's going to be here. Mary is the first person I ever talked to. When I called family life back in 1992 when we first were starting this conversation about starting a ready answer the phone. She is, she was Dennis's personal assistant and so Dennis left a phone message for me and I called back and I got his assistant Mary Lou Moya and so she's the first person I ever talk to you when I called you back after you left a message for me you with the things work that way.

Sometimes Mary is. It was here you are here 26 years right. In addition to being a personal assistant to Dennis.

She went on to be a staff writer for us, wrote hundreds of articles that are still available on our website@familylife.com and is not only a great writer, but as I said she's a great man you are in your groove in life aren't you. I love being home now. Love being a grandparent in my grandkids and live right next to me that once have the closest are the elder grandkids and they live about 3045 minutes away and the others live thousands of miles away.

So you see some of your grandkids somewhat regularly. The others occasionally occasionally you and so we did a lot of long-distance things we stay in touch.

I feel really close to them in it when they come they stay for a long time a week or maybe two weeks or something like that. Where's the other ones I'll be able to go to the school functions and see them without the important things will be able to come and stay with us. That is just a different kind of relationship they can both equally be wonderful. Mary wrote a book we talked about this before and family life. Today a book called the grandparent connection 365 ways to connect with your grandchild's heart. It's just full of creative ideas, ways to engage and then you've written this new book called one-of-a-kind grandparent connection building a legacy with your grandchild. You are very intentional as a grandparent you see this as a God-given responsibility ID because I think facing the next generation that God's design is widely passed down in families and where God said that online generation is to tell the next generation so I look on my ministry. My love for Christ and my husband GM and then my family and pass that legacy on.

That's what I see is my most important role in life. That's something that you saw passed on into your life or is this something you is this something that you're thinking I want to send to new thought. Well I think when I was going out my new one set of grandparents because my other grandparents mother's grandmother's dad was alive when I was born but he died when I was quite young and her mother had already passed away. My dad's parents were alive and they were.

I was really close to them in my gray matter with me and I I wanted a nano table and said a lot to me and we spent a lot of time and we would be simple things when there's paper dolls are making things that just spending time with her and so I wanted I want to be like her soon as you think you're great. Yes I did get to take it. Our oldest son when they were pregnant. He said he want to be innocent. I want to be mean and I told him plan that his daughter Connie mean she got mean mean I was really confusing because bananas associate with Connie Nina acid that's fine crystal desire coming in and he has no meaning building in Jan, so I got demeaning so I got to pick mine, you did for cars we can get that kids can it has grandkids kind of change that Marianne is Mimi and the other set of parents. In this case had he had the dibs on a pop or whatever was that that they got big anyway. I said I want to cool grandfather name so I picked G daddy and Amy said to me by my older she said I am not my kids and I could call you GW I said what I say to the kids.

Do you want G daddy to take you to Toys "R" Us and buy you something there to call me G so it's worked out on G daddy that she do any of the old ones colleagues see notes. It still G this point. Yeah, you get to be G daddy and I get to be poppy but you didn't want to be called Poppy, who wants to be poppy. It went into the other grandkids to just be with one year one of our kids, but now you know what I actually like what you are with one set of grandkids is what you will be across the board. Yeah, you can't be one know that without becoming top now is it shifting shifting thinking is 90 which is kind changing to not married. I had a connection with my grandmother.

I was named after her. Every time I walked into the door, she would hug me and kiss me right on the lips which our family wasn't affectionate, but I just felt like she loves me so much and it filled me up think that for you that has filled you up being a grandmother yes and before answer this and my husband pops into our same yes I did the unconditional love and not feel that for my grandkids and I want to show them unconditional love. Yes I going to my love you the beginning of chapter 11 you have kindergarten kids talking about what grandparents are to say this is because this is from you know what other five grandmas and grandpas are older than mothers and fathers and like to hold grandchildren and their laps and hug them. Amen. They like to answer questions when they read to us.

This is great when they read to us.

They don't skip words and they never care if we ask for the same story over again, which is different than when your parents they don't say hurry up central you usually have lots of quarters. They don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see him as now. This is classic. They shouldn't play hard or run especially like to read stories to grandchildren from big books with lots of pictures that's you know some of the truth of what grandchild feels you know that I love the part they didn't they don't hurry because when your parents it's always entering and you are skipping words as you try to get the book read so they get to bed and yet is a grandmother or grandfather. It's what is it about that time that was a grandparent that makes you slow down and sort of seize the moment. I think it's because you realize how fast time goes. I think I'm a better grandmother than I was. Another really things that are problems on his big of a problem. I have some perspective on life. Mehdi Sally say things have a way of working out sometimes would irritate me and it was like she wasn't even now that bothered him if she listened she is sympathetic but it's like working on publishing and he always did, and I know that's from Romans really, how things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.

I know that's true when you're in the moment. You might not feel like it is all that perspective.

And tomorrow is not promised, so I really do want to make the most of today with my kit grandkids. I don't know if I'll be with them tomorrow and how not to be living close to me so it's like realizing today. Is there something that God has for us as grandparents to do that we can do better than moms and dads can do you think I think sometimes we might be able to listen matter because were not so busy with got one perspective.

So I really do think we can do that one thing that surprised me as my grandkids have gotten older, especially with long-distance grandkids and things you can still have that wonderful relationship that you can still talk and ask them what's going on and had me can pray for them and ask them to share things and they will and one time and I want my grandkids lives long-distance sent me a text and it was like.

Please pray for me because I'm getting ready to do something that's really scary or something like that and she didn't say anything about what it was. So I did. I prayed for had no idea what it was and I texted her back but she didn't answer and then I ended up texting her dad trying to see what in the world. Could this be and I and I found out what it was she was riding motorcycles up and down some mountains that and she had a good time that I don't really know she is best anyway that I found that she text me to say to pray for you know that this is a whole different relationship is almost like I do know maybe this is been written before, just hit me. It's almost like when you're a parent and you're in the middle of the parenting season with her little, especially if their little it's just chaos. You can't even see outside the room. It's like you can see as far as a wall in the bathroom and the divers know that you're just in it. But when you become a grandparents almost like you like a drone. You lift way you're able to look down and you can see the road ahead. You can see we have because you've been there so you have this deal here. You think it is but it really is. I can be okay. Is it true Pierce illustration comes to mind as you're describing this you been on the sidelines of the football game with the coaching staff that's on the sidelines. There's a whole different coaching staff that is up above in the press box watching the game so wise the offense of coordinator up above watching from there, rather than on the sidelines as he can see things we can't see from above, and I think there's a perspective that we have on life and parenting and and what are grandkids are going through that mom and dad on the sidelines are maybe blind to.

But to your point, you have a perspective on life.

That's different than your kids perspective and you can say I've seen this happen before, and it's going to be okay yeah I know when my daughter in law she's to say she hate to ask us to watch the kids. He has so much or something in Ontario please please ask us to wash the kids running your grandparents are delighted to watch the kids in the forehead grandkids member. I see it, just a tiny bit irritated when people would tell me they couldn't do things even at the last minute because all of a sudden there watching their grandkids for something when I became a green here and it all made sense and I was like that, let about having long-distance relationships with their grandkids. I think that superhard, we've got some grandkids for that live out of state and it's hard to maneuver in my neighbor you little it was face time with this anticipation and excitement for them and now they're getting a little older and I'm having this sense of insecurity because they're doing other things talked about what is that look like and how if you pursued that you have several grandchildren and find out what the oldest one is fine something like that.

There's a whole chapter in here that long distance grandparenting and set all sorts of things that you can do that one of the things that I've done with the grandkids as we actually had a set time for face time and it was an appointment and so it wouldn't matter who asked me to do what during that time I was going to face time is grandkids and we had so much fun together and they were really long, long times because when I did it stand.

I would read stories to the kids I waiver little even when they were when they were older and then they would read to me an email with that I found you conflicted and so they can read I would get kids magazines and showing things and then look for the hidden pictures and all that is, which is play games on the phone so you can still have that relationship. Also, you can be penpal you can write him letters when they're older and I can write you back. You can send them little packages been on the mind asked them if they find a little treasure if they'd send it to you or call you and tell you that it can still do a lot of things in another long-distance right your grandkids a letter birthday yeah now I think it's a lettering that pictures all around the side of what happened during that year we talk about some things that happened during that year and then have a Bible verse actually got that idea from Florence lit town.

I heard her speak and she has a book, his blue plate special. She talked about writing a birthday letter sent that's a great idea. So I been doing it forever. It's really neat when you remember every year. Some of them have once have I skipped over some reason I didn't get there year and they have a chronicle of early Canada life without us birthday letter so you talk about their life that year talk about their life that year and then a prayer that Jim and I will be praying form try to make a copy of each one and hello file folder and so that's my list of things today gal that organize so they'll all have the copies in case for some reason they don't have a percent probably got you said your face times with the grandkids would be long like 30 minutes longer on the face, grandkids that usually longer because what I would be the hours with real Miami was like a morning or something.

It would probably be about 10/2 or three hours that and how their parents would give mom a little break and she mounted it, but several kids and so we take turns one time.

It sounds as turning on minutes.

The next ones turn and then we do whatever and the younger they are, that the harder it is you like it there year and 1/2 or to their attention span is not very long that it worked great.

Five or six-year-old would connected with you and be happy on the phone with them for 45 or maybe 30 met with Dave face time that when reading and reading books and am actually walking and to where I count the library but what we have kid books. Jay and Sam want to read that book and so I'll pull it out. Reason that we got the I finally did it was because of the kids because I want to face time and we didn't have enough fun so we got in phone because they wanted to walk around and show a staff where they were and so now we can walk around when we walk around some stuff they know because of the house and they been to those places so you can have a great relationship with long-distance grandkids. I like the idea of slotting time appointment with them because then the kids are anticipating pulling away from their activities, but I'm tired about this to Howard. It's not can always work like that and it depends on the season of life or that family is for that particular time in life. It worked out well for you. Maybe two or three years. We did that where we are now. It's a little different situation so it's not can it be that long and not that often but but we're up for the long-distance writing letters now so we write a lot of letters and just do whatever has to be done, but it went easily talked for two hours will you play with all the technology you can play games together you can do all sorts of things long-distance really good idea. Well, thousands of miles, well the ones the ones that are so far away we saw them twice last year that you just do with do what you can and when you see them when you're able to be person-to-person with them.

The fact that you have these regular FaceTime needs your relationship is already there you don't. They don't warm up to you. They come running to the car yes this is a close relationship and in the ones that are here, you get to see in person so you can have a close relationship with your grandkids, whether they live near you, whether they live thousands of miles away. You're not only intentional about building a strong relationship but you want to be involved in passing on a legacy of spiritual vitality. So what are you doing intentionally to plant spiritual truths in the lives of your grandkids. We pray for each grandkid every day and you know we just really believe in that. And I not told you this in the past, but I have these little books, while they were sleeping in each one has their own little book and so take turns and every day I do for them in a hurry to the Bible scriptures and all that. Now write little notes to unindicted and so I've just done that for years and they just rotate and they've got all these years dates and prayers have said for them and I just want them to know that in the kids a lot because I had him write a little note in each book to date. It is something like 247 and so they wrote in 1 was about four, five and said this is very special to me but that in the front of the book and I have a feel of pictures on that. I do think a lot about when I'm gone I want them to know that they had grandparents who loved him and pray for them and I know I write my Bible and right when things happen probably for the last 25 years, 20, 25 years dates and what what happened or problems and how God answered it and so someday someone will probably look at that and say you know God does answer prayers. He said you have more than one Bible that you've written in yes because I cannot go through battles and so many other writing all my Bibles, but as far as dating those things to Bibles that want my purse really really personal Bibles because it follows that I don't want that loss and so is because I filled up one without a blank pages and so had gotten so I can just imagine years and years ahead of time of seeing when you get grandkids with your Bible. All that Scripture underlined in your notes place in case that I have at home more than hundred-year-old God somebody have never met from an ancestor somebody who was he was the elder the church in Buffalo New York where my dad grew up, and that Bible is an heirloom that will be passed on. There's a letter in the front, not written to me not written to descendents but just it's a personal letter that he wrote to pretty significant family, you know, here I am.

I'm now on my iPad with my Bible more than I am in an actual printed book and you lose something when it's all on the IPA. Don't you wonder if there's a way to write notes on an iPad Bible has I think you care about is at the same the same thing when your grade will get your yeah all I know Mary is listening to you today is inspiring because I think is apparent your intentional music of past my faith on it as easy as a grandparent to get lazy almost like what's the Pierce job.

I did my job with them. You are inspiring to say no. I want to be actively involved. I me. I think every grandparent listening is inspired to say when doing. I need to step in and have as great of impact on my grandchildren as their own parents or haven't. My job isn't done. I'm actually very needed and essential in my grandchildren's life and what you put together in this book gives us not just motivation but you give us creative ideas and suggestions for how we can be more effective, more intentional as grandparents and we want to make your book available to our listeners this week if they'd like to get a copy of Mary Lavoie's book one-of-a-kind grandparent connection, you can contact us here at family life. We are sending this out to anybody who can help support the ministry with the donation this week.

One modern family life today.com to donate or call one 800 FL today and if you're thinking I'm not a grandparent get a copy of this book, and maybe go through and highlight some things and then send it to your parents and say, here are some ideas ways you could get more actively involved in your grandkids lives again. The book is called one-of-a-kind grandparent connection.

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