When Moms Disappoint

The bottom line. My friend is whether you had a stellar mom mom or whether you had a disappointing mom, you owe her honor. Because here's your goal.

Your goal was to hear the Lord say well done good and faithful servant.

Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you hello and welcome to this Friday addition of Destin for victory with pastor Paul Sheppard, senior pastor of destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont California. We are always glad to have you with us, you don't. Many of us had wonderful mothers mothers that made sacrifices time and again chose our well-being over their own but others had a far different experience. God commands us to honor them. Either way, as we prepare to celebrate Mother's Day this weekend. Pastor Paul wants to encourage you with a special message and it comes your way. Next, so stay right here or visit Pastor Paul.net to hear any recent Destin for victory message on demand. That's Pastor Paul.net can also subscribe to the podcast its modifier and Apple podcast or whatever you get your podcasts now with today's Destin for victory message when moms disappoint his pastor in the book of Genesis when Abraham was close to dying.

He got his chief servant and had him make an old and he said I want you to go out and find out why for my son Isaac, and he sent him back to their homeland.

As you know, the Lord had Abraham leave his homeland to journey to what would be attained and then what would be the place that he would eventually give to his people Israel, but at this point. Although Abraham has left his homeland. I God's direction. Now that he's thinking I don't get a life for my son. These are days of course when there were arranged marriages and you see some of that going on today.

I told you recently in a message even a day, you'll see nobody's shows on TV married at first sight and stuff like that going back to some of the ideas of arranged marriages now matter for side. They don't always get it to wail, but it can be done right under certain circumstances, and the fact of the matter is Abraham said I want to pick my son's wife before I leave this earth sent his servant to their homeland said find a woman and gave him the parameters and saw the seven little prancing, old Lord, I don't know how to do this. I want to mess it up and I made this all with my master Abraham. Long story short, you know it, you read it there in Genesis 24 that he went out and he met up with Rebecca who came out to again watering the evening and she watered she gave him water Davis caramels water.

They struck up a conversation.

He was invited back to their home and met Laban and all of that. So you you know the story. Bottom line is Rebecca was chosen to be Isaac's wife and so the servant took her back to where they lived, and she became Isaac's wife. Now you would think wow does it will be a wonderfully functional God ordained family now need to stop thinking. Just because God bless you to do something.

You gotta stop thinking of me that everything will go well.

God bless them the hook up with Rebecca and she came became Isaac's wife but when they had their children.

They had 12 and the moment they had those twins you could see there was one big trouble when the family as the twins were jostling even in the womb. And so when those boys began to be raised. You see this function show up, ladies and gentlemen, your family is not the first dysfunctional family and I want to let you know that there are degrees of this function and most of us can think back to some dysfunctional moments and family life. That's just the way it goals here on planet earth very few folk and say there is absolutely nothing dysfunctional about my family. We will all wonderfully in love with one another. Children with parents and siblings with one another, and all we are just weed we are just the family of the ages. Very few were you all are deceived enough to believe such a thing, and I want to let you know the Bible is well aware that not everybody has that kind of experience that you can say well we had just the greatest family imaginable. Such is the case in the family of this man. Isaac and his wife Rebecca. They had these twin boys, Jacob and Esau and you read it you know what happened. Jacob, who was much like his mama. They had the kind of relationship where she was favorable toward him in a way she was not toward her all her other twin son Esau and the Dan Isaac same thing. He had a favorable relationship with Esau. They were more like temperamentally and it's fine to be like want your kids more them and relate to want your kids more than you can to the others not wrong with that but when your love is different when so I can look at all say that you love this child in a way you don't love that child. Now we got a problem and that's what happened there in the Bible. Some of you have experienced that in your families and I wanted to speak this time, not just to those of us who have these great mom.

I want to speak the full who have a relationship with a woman that wasn't always that wonderful so entitled these remarks and I'm going be done in 15 minutes from right now I've entitled these remarks when moms disappoint when moms disappoint because not everybody is mom was the perfect mom sometimes moms disappoint, and if you had those moments, or those seasons or if you have time of disappointment from the woman who was your mom or mother figure I want to let you know that God is still going to work out his plan and purpose in your life if you will submit to him. That's the point of these remarks.

If your upbringing was an ideal God's plan is still in effect and if you surrender to him. He's going to get his will accomplished in your life and you will not be able to spend the rest of your life that the reason why nothing is called my mama didn't raise me to be anything you're not a nothing you are not. What a reason why don't succeeded anything. The reason why my family got done collecting from objective, you can come home objective, family, and you can have a functional one. If you'll do things God's way. I want to let you know any Saul on Mother's Day. Esau would know therefore and when he thought about his mama Rebecca on Mother's Day.

He sold more light in because she had spent all this time you know what she did. She helped her tricky son Jacob steal the blessing that would come from Isaac before he would dive the blessing that would have gone to Esau, Rebecca, and Jacob plotted together and deceived Isaac and he gave the blessing to Jacob, and Rebecca was happy any Saul ended up being murderous want to kill his twin brother, and Rebecca said you need to go down uncle Laban's house. Jacob and and spend some time this spring. He was down there until he gets over this murderous thing that is not going and you know the story was 20 years that Jacob lived away from his family because of the trick that he and his mom had played on Isaac and it was to the detriment, if you will be so, but he's old and spend his life saying I'm nothing. I'm never going be anything because of what they did. 20 years later when God reunites the gotta work even in dysfunctional situation he dealt with Jacobs heart told him you gotta go back get right with your brother he dealt with Esau's heart said you can have murder in your heart and have my blessing man living separately had God deal with them and when they come together later on in the book of Genesis you will see that when Jacob said all I blew it.

I'm so sorry on your servant for the rest of your life. Esau and he was citrine ascendant gifts and all that is doing when he saw that I don't need you. I know you installed my blessing. I know you deceived me in a moment of weakness and took them about the trip and over that that's the possible version of the Bible trip and have had God bless my life all these years and I got everything I need only just get up from the ground. Do you gotta see God will do the same thing for you mom would know all that she should've been if you had a disappointing mom currently or in the past. I want to let you know. God still has plans and purpose for your life.

So here's what I want to do with just these 10 minutes that remain. Let me share with you some .7 points I want to and ask all of the web. You had a great mom or a disappointing mom seven points I want you to keep in mind as it relates to your relationship with her. Here's number one.

Respect the position she holds even if not the way she parented keep that on the screen for second let somebody write that down. Respect the position she holds even if not the way she parented.

In other words, God ordained some people to play a role in our lives and we ought to respect the role when we don't always have wonderful respect for the person in the world because that's why the Bible says honor your father and mother. The Bible and say I'm your father and mother. They are wonderful people and do everything right because that would be letter that would be just a few folks singing Boyz II Men mama so but the rest of us would be sitting around rolling eyes and sucking my teeth. But the Bible says because of so that's number one. Respect the position she holds even if not the way she parented up next. The rest of today's destined for victory message with pastor Paul Sheppard. We want to thank all of you whose prayers and financial support help pastor Paul share the gospel over the world. Your donations do make a difference in God will always honor your faithful giving.

So as God leads prayerfully consider making a generous gift to Destin for victory today.

You can give securely online@pastorpaul.net that's pastor Paul.net or call 855-339-5500. In addition to respecting your mother in spite of her performance. Pastor Paul has identified six other things you should keep in mind in your relationship with her. So let's join him now for the second half of today's message when moms disappoint number two identified things you can appreciate about her and express gratitude to her for those things. If your mother still lives. Be sure she was a disappointing mom is that is not a whole lot that I really can appreciate will find a couple things. What you got to hear.

Appreciate that. Thank you for going down the best Dort old sages to say and brilliantly into the world find something.

Thank you for buying me some clothes.

Thank you for whatever it is feeding me warmth even if you have a great cook. Thank you that I survived identified things you can appreciate about her and express gratitude to her for those things.

If you still have your mother even if she was a disappointing mom, you need to express gratitude because that will help you do with the Bible says, which is the armor to find the things you can express gratitude for new Jaya great mom. I call her every week because one of these days I'm not going to hear her voice on the other end of the phone not when I see my friends losing her mind's eye I criticism was think it would be like. I don't know life without my mother but will experience that we all gotta go there and one thing I'm going to make sure Rob is good till the day she dies she will know that this child loved her and expressed it often and I trust that my siblings do the same. Number three. Forgive her in your heart.

Forgive your disappointing mom in your heart for anything she did that you think was just flat out wrong, like in the case of Rebecca.

If you are in Esau like Missy Wilson. She was cold-blooded she was just wrong.

She was straight black whenever you will say about it may be true but you should forgive her in your heart. You sit pastor what she wants to do it in your heart.

The only way you are to express forgiveness to someone and when they repent and acknowledge they did you wrong. That's when the Bible calls you to say well, I accept your apology and I forgive you but what you do when somebody doesn't acknowledge that they did. You know whether it's a parent or anybody to do your will. And they don't see they don't want to see they don't believe it out of my face on the will to talk about your trip and what you do when you have that you forgive them in your heart you know why you do that because you need the release of forgiveness so you can will go on and experience what God has for you as long as you unforgiveness in your heart you mess up your own life when I refuse to forgive someone I'm it's like me drag you heard me say many times. It's like drinking poison and waiting for them to die.

No, no, you can't hold onto unforgiveness. It's toxic, it does you no good. And it's not like is conservative. The purpose have you ever noticed that the people you try the home unforgiveness really don't care or they don't see things the way you see him and you always disagree. So spend your time trying to force somebody to feel sorry and to acknowledge wrong. Some people never will. Sometimes you always see things differently but what you do you forgive them in your heart so you're free to move, no blood in my wings I can fly anywhere God takes me, so forgive them in your heart before opening of the seven I would encourage you to do as I wrap up this talk number four.

Pray for her. Pray for her. That is what you have a flat-out cantankerous mom. He then mom not not saying I'm trying to be saved, don't care about you dunking about God and care about anybody. What should I do, I should pray she's treated me like an enemy will guess what the Bible said love your enemies, your mom treat you like to make love your enemies, do for your enemies. And so you need to pray, pray and and don't pray Lord that is not exactly to produce will be.

Pray that yes pray that that conviction will come. But conviction is redemptive in nature.

God convicts so he can change us pray Lord, help her to see the things that she needs to present to you to see the things she's done wrong you compare those kind of thing but just over largest killer. No, no, that's not God's will.

The Lord's will is that we get right.that we get the will all gonna die sooner or later, but you need to pray redemptive prayers because we are all the beneficiaries of the redemptive love of God and we need to pass that on to others. As we pray for them. Number five.

Encourage her, encourage her, don't just pray for her. But when you get a chance actually encourage actually give her reasons to think positively, to make good decisions encourage the best in her life. Encourage her, as you interact with her now somebody was that yeah but I really can't interact with her.

She so can cantankerous so toxic I can't have much well you don't always have to do it face-to-face if that usually leads to to World War III, then tried calls it calls the work then tried texting if Texan does work, try email. Try our standard letter. Do something to say something positive and encouraging to her.

Number six offer her practical help when and how you can offer her practical help when and how you can now if she has a very destructive relationship. You don't want all that money to somebody who is only going use it to do the wrong things.

So I'm saying when and how you got a design what is the way I can be a practical help and you find those ways and that's what I'm encouraging you to do offer practical help women how you can again when the Bible said love your enemies.

If they're hungry. Freedom is a backend guy give anything to present single startup service commitment will send worksheets just send her over and you know it all grown up. Whatever y'all figure out how to love her from afar. If you got a stay away but offer practical help if they like to give you money could look interesting when it is there a bill I can help pay that goes directly to the one that that services you in some way you find ways to do it to express appreciation not doing it out of because I think she deserves that your daughter to honor the Bible says honor your father and mother and I'm doing this to glad we not here could only three people would buy the CD so anyway nowhere better now.

Seventh and finally give her reasons to be proud of you.

Give her reasons to be proud of you.

I say she was going to be proud of you. Hopefully she will if you have a good mom. My mom is proud of all of her kids and then the things that God has blessed us to do all or all five of her children serve the Lord, all fall five of her children are meaningful in the kingdom of God and she's proud of us. That's great, but if you have a mom who you can say that about give her reasons to be proud of you, even if she is never going to stop and be proud of you. Give a reasons when she thinks of you. She knows that you have done right in your life that you've done well in your life and so you want to give her every reason to say that I raise someone who was really become a a significant member of our society. The bottom line. My friend is whether you had a stellar mom a rockstar mom or whether you had a disappointing mom, you owe her honor. These are some practical things you can do to share that to get that because here's your goal.

Your goal was to hear the Lord say well done good and faithful servant. Never forget your glasses and God. When you get before him you don't understand it, when you know I could do that honors W talk about and he is the reason why no, no, you want to hear the Lord say well done, which means what you do now is preparation for your time of accountability before him.

So we will all give account of our lives to God. The Scriptures tell us.

Therefore, I will encourage you. Whatever you do, whether you had the greatest of moms or dysfunctional toxic relationship or somewhere in between some of the good some of the crazy whatever you want to honor her so that you can honor the Lord and hear him say well done God places no conditions in his command honor our fathers and mothers just as he gives good gifts to us in spite of our performance, we too should honor our parents even if they didn't always perform well in their respective roles. Next are joining us for destined for victory today destined for victory exists only to the faithful prayer and financial support of friends like you. And if you give a generous gift today. Be sure to request your copy of pastors, booklet caregivers need care to our way of saying thanks for your generous gift destined for victory. That's caregivers need care to just call us@8553395500orvisitpastorpaul.net to make your safe and secure donation online.

You can also mail your gift to destined for victory PO Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538 that down destined for victory. Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538 and a very happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there with the Lord bless you and keep you and cause his face to shine upon you, it's all the time we have, but be sure to join us Monday with pastor Paul Sheppard returns to a series of the prophet Elisha Tilden. Remember he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory