Creating a Relational Legacy, Part 3 (cont'd)

Hello and welcome to another great week here in Destin for victory with pastor Paul Sheppard coming up next. Pastor Paul and his wife Meredith share their message creating a relational legacy. But first, Pastor Paul joins me know from a studio in California pastor your ministry to us each day of the radio and with the various online sources for Destin for victory. So encouraging one more thing that you do though you feel very strongly about this is the monthly encouragement letter that goes out to everyone. Would you like to say a word about that. Yeah, absolutely. The one letter I feel strongly about making sure we produce every month is an encouragement letter and so I take some time and based on some teaching of that month, and occasionally it's not related to the teaching just something that God put on my heart and that particular time I write a letter to let people know. Not only are we preaching messages but were really trying to impact your life and help you with application because again, our ministry exists to help people know God's son apply God's word and fulfill God's purpose and my encouragement letter is designed to help you know him apply his word fulfill his purpose and so I feel strongly about it and I will encourage people who are not on our mailing list to please take a moment and let us know. Hey, I'd love to get the letter. It's absolutely free is no obligation for no obligation at all. We will take care of the stamp and everything. All you gotta do is let us know. We can reach you. We'd be happy to send it to you. We can also send it to you by email. And it's important for you to be encouraged month by month and so please let us do that get in touch with us. Give us your email and your mailing address so we can get in touch with you on a monthly basis. Well, the word encouragement means to give someone support confidence or hope, and sometimes all three. And that's what Pastor Paul seeks to do each month with these letters of encouragement.

Sign up today@pastorpaul.net that's Pastor Paul.net your life is not over because somebody else die or somebody hurts you. You gotta move forward with your life.

So what we do to move on. We resolve your makeup, no I just feel so horrible if you distance yourself from God.

When people leave you or hurt you. Your faith was in people not God today on Destin for victory. Pastor Paul Sheppard and his wife Meredith offer a few practical keys to help us move on with our lives. When people move on from our lives. And here's the very first step you just decide to with their message reading a relational legacy, your pastor, Paul and Mary on can be painful. Personally shared that with you in previous installments of this Nephi, but moving on realizing that a relationship has come to me and especially when you know a guy thing when it wasn't handled in a godly way to fall and people move the line and he can't get to the curb they dropped you a heart you you hurt and it came to an ugly and and you never got it right but sometimes you just have to move on. You can't stay stuck in backplane and that's why I love the way Naomi by departed from one another. In fact, a gracious, goodbye Naomi prayed over her. She wished her well. She gave Dixon the last thing they went together they embraced.

There was an exchange of affection and dad. They parted company. Think of time.

We don't do this much anymore because we buy jelly and preserves and things back we can enjoy the fruit of the season. Long after that season is over, you have strawberries on a friend who made wonderful strawberry jam, and to have that long after strawberries are in season.

It was just wonderful.

So the same thing about a tree like an apple tree. Apple the tree is no longer there but you harvested the fruit from the tree and you can make applesauce, apple butter, apple pie, apple jam Apple jelly what ever enjoyed the fruit of the season.

Long after that season is over so don't just throw away the memory and nursed the hurt about how that blessing and benefit you at a time and hold on to that memory. Enjoy the fruit of that season and then remember Ecclesiastes chapter 3 in verse one it says to everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.

I had to hold onto that scripture because I like friendships that seem like that season was over because I'm thinking if we are in Christ Jesus, and that like this is so not God's will. This is not kingdom behavior, but you have to realize when I see the words season in Scripture. I have to go to God and say okay season. It was good while it lasted and then I have to say there have been an abrupt unfinished painful party. I will always speak well of you.

I will not talk about you behind your back. This is how I'm going to move on not want to drag your name through the streets. I'm not going to sling my not want to talk about what you did that contributed to the breakdown of our relationship tell the whole wide world I get ghosted me and didn't return my calls and all the things on my overtures and trying to reach out and then now I will just speak well of you and I will glorify God in the memory of what once was. It's good.

Sometimes we have to move on from something that was so deeply pained that in disrupting the flow of our lives. And if we let it disrupt our future and I want to say before we go to the final part of this fireside chat about moving on. I want to say sometimes you have to say that was painful to lose. That was painful. Apart from but now I gotta go on loan people when a loved one, a significant person in the light died for all practical purposes they died to. They went on living physically, but they changed and never recovered because they didn't do the work necessary to move all your not honoring your deceased loved one by Diane slowly honor them by saying hey I'm going to do what you used to do. I'm going to finish the work. I'm going to do some good and one of these days I will see you Wendell. Gotta make that decision David shows is that you remember King David and the worst season of his life when he got with Bathsheba killed her husband only because what when he went wrong. He went way wrong I love the Bible go to got people we can all relate to say I never go to bed. Not only did he sleep God wants us to know you got stuff to deal with and and second Samuel 12 see the story of God sending a prophet named Nathan. You'll notice that you read read second Samuel 12 shows up and tells him the story gets mad about the story only for making this a you demand in the school and then he went on to prophesy the say of the Lord told Ben David repented at the end of the day, you gotta repent when you're wrong.

Being wrong isn't fatal unless you fail to repent and so just being wrong isn't fatal done have to be fatal, but you must repent what makes it fatal is when you refuse to repent, because then your sin is on you so Nathan said you have repented and God has taken your sin away but then said because of what happened. God's going to respond to this by not letting the child you just had she's pregnant and she had this child and you're going to live your lives, and he said no baby is going to die and so what happens David Sassoon praise there and second Samuel 12,000 praise requesting that the child's life be spared. In verses 16 and 17 you see that and then in verses 18 and 19. You see that David sees his staff whispering over on the side.

Even later he been playing fast and not eaten not lasted a bit lame before God and he sees over the corner of the room he sees and whispered there was a smart man like all.

So he says wait a minute, is my child. So I got some to sit yes okay notice verse 20. So we all got to do so. David arose from the ground, some don't get up what happened happened. The worst happened yes it did happen it was disappointing. It was tragic but it happened.

You rose from the ground, washed and anointed himself solely only to watch changes close stop looking frumpy and pitiful going to live your life went into the house of the Lord lasted and worshiped was all this feel like church you need church because you need the God who will meet you in the sanctuary or streaming and you need to have a heart of worship. Your life is not over because somebody else died or somebody hurt you. You gotta move forward with your life. So what we do to move on.

We resolved you make up your mind know I just feel so horrible to some, don't go away. The rest of today's destiny for Victor message with Pastor Paul and Meredith Sheppard is coming right up to the broadcast on demand@pastorpaul.net that's Pastor Paul.net. We'll find a host of great resources that are online store, including books and DVD messages from Pastor right now. I invite you listen closely to the second half of today's destiny for Victor message creating a relational legacy once again. Here are Pastor Paul and Mary. I will recently lost his wife of 40 some years all he does.

Went to a mall in his city and just walked around allowing got lunch and I keep thinking about all we would be doing this, we will be doing without which I know what she said you got make yourself known. No body arrives at destiny in neutral. Your destiny when your life and shifting from neutral in the dry for God sake don't going to reverse this is something really powerful that my therapist told me of a relationship that's come to a painful and when you doing those things that you used to do with a friend watch out for the pain to bring up. It's a different kind of pain and it's not what you're going through. It's what you're growing through, so just like pastor's uncle how he's doing things that he used to do with his wife now he has to learn how to do it by myself. It's a different kind of pain. It's the pain of healing its growing pains.

So beloved make sure you're not just going through. Make sure you are growing through do the things that are going to minister life enjoyment and quality of life for you so resolve to move on building strong relationships with people who can help you move all who will just call you what you doing, I'm about to run by let's go to such and such a thing there helping you move get your life in dear and move forward don't have much her inner circle flow what you're doing. None NMS all is not that you got always be busy is just that, even when I'm resting. I'm not doing nothing. I'm resting because I'm living a productive life. In this downtime is make sure the people in your life a productive moving toward destiny and you can get there and park or a neutral one more thing and were done with our fireside chat. In addition to addressing the pain of the past.

In addition to resolving to move forward. You gotta manage your expectations of your current and any future relationships. I have learned that people get really messed up when they have relationships that are hindered, damaged or destroyed because a person in their life did not meet up to expectations.

And when you examine it. They never met at the point of the siding about the expectations. Let me tell you what I mean by that is a two-part rule that I live by. And I want to encourage you to live by number one no expectation is valid unless the other person has honestly agreed to try to live up to. Don't expect some of me. I didn't sign off now. Well when I got married I thought he would be like my daddy. My daddy always did this and my mother.

I got all my life I saw my day that's what that's what husband is the me and I when I married him. Exact opposite of my daddy question. Did you course not. Next question. Did you tell him that you thought her husband was exactly like your daddy and then explained that he was no then why you judging him based on your people doing a lot of time. They don't friendships. I thought a friend defined what a friend is by yourself will be party to have you read about Jonathan and David's meeting when you get a chance read about it when Jonathan and David came together. The Bible says one together but they just go with the knitting of their souls. We just by invoking like this is a divine appointment.

Yes, there are some people, God himself will bring them into your life, doesn't mean everything will be automatic. What is he going to tell you, tells you that they broke covenant with each other and Jonathan, who was the wealthy of the two because he's the king's son. He began to divest and he gave this and that. The other two. David he said because I want us to be on even par as we walked together and he divested and David invested in him and the two of them were in it together. So much so that in David's worst season of life.

His covenant brother Jonathan met him when he was on the run from Saul when he was a fugitive. Saul's own son Jonathan said I gotta go look out for my boy was years ago we said we will walk together no matter what, and he lived out that covenant and encourage David when Saul was trying to kill and you can have expectations that the other person didn't sign off all now is the other part of my two-part rule. Not only is the first part expectations valid unless the person is honestly agreed to try to live up to it for the second part is, even if they agree to try to live up to it. You must be prepared for the possibility that they may not have somebody selling okay and then they'll come through for whatever reason and is not always because they hate you is not only didn't mean it when they said it present for decades. When she said if you need me, no matter what you are that you can depend and never worry, no wind, no rain, no winter, going to school. My goal you say.

When I was out I noted with neuropathy, but idealism ain't no Mountain high enough and no Valley low enough in the river why you you live long enough, you will go through some you need him and then on the other side.

The best thing to do is text you so you know I love you right I can get there. You be strong send some new don't remember later on Dionne Warwick Harris Stephen Wanda Gladys Knight Elton John Keefe smiled. Keep shining knowing you can always count on me all that's what friends are for good times and bad. All you will be some keep smiling, keep busy or they just don't have the chops to help you out at the point of your name and sometimes people is just humanity. Cupbearer Joseph helped imprison Joseph when he gave him the interpretation of dreams and job that you will be one for the king in a few days when you get back into the king's room. I want you to remember me telling him about me that's a reasonable request and to compress okay got back my mother was so glad to have his job. He forgot he forgot all about you can rest your life and will deal with people all you a mature response to judge show at the end of the women being interviewed at the end of the lesson.

Never trust people we got a trust, but you don't put all the rituals of anybody but God mannerisms expectations involved with Psalm 62 and got to become a foundational verse in your arsenal. You have to remember, it says the family that my soul waits silently for a loan from my expectation is from him. God is the only one. The only friend who will never get to the point never harm lets you dance the poor is still a song wanted to songwriters and he never will forsake friend me on dictate his word.

He cannot break because he is God and our earthly friends.

I'm not so they are not supposed to meet every single need and meet every expectation of your life. Because if they did we would not meet the Lord God will see to it that we are always in a position to meet him and then hopefully we grow to a place where we desire him about all of our relationships and the only way that we can be a relational that is healthy and holy expectation in the morning and he is our man in thanks for being here for today's message creating a relational legacy. This message is part of Pastor Paul's teaching series keeping the end in mind, look for it online@pastorpaul.net that's Pastor Paul.net Dustin for victory exists only through the faithful prayer and financial support of friends like you and when you send a generous gift to Destin for victory will gladly send you by request Pastor Paul Shepard's booklet creating a relational legacy that's creating a relational legacy companion guide to the mess you've heard today in our gift to you for your generous donation to Destin for victory. So please call 855-339-5500 or visit Pastor Paul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destin for victory PO Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538. Once again, the address Destin for victory.

Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538 thing that excites me really about. Hebrews 11 is that these people are not special people at all and what that tells me is that the PM God Hall of Fame. You don't have to be anybody special you can be jacked up and be in the Hall of Fame. And guess what that means we all qualify best next time it Pastor Paul Shepard's message in training, but until then, remember he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory