The Story of Us: Why We Need Strong Relationships

There are some people who say I'm very happy with me myself and I and we three of us are very happy. Listen let me tell you you're going to live your best life.

According to the one who designs you, then you need to develop strong relationships with people who can help you get where God is taking you happy Friday and welcome to this edition of Destin for victory with pastor Paul Sheppard well were in day five of Pastor Paul's teaching series cliff notes for successful living. So far we've learned that there are a few pitfalls several untrue ideas.

We may sometimes believe that can keep us from our destiny in Christ. The first two were covered in earlier messages and you'll find them on demand of Pastor Paul.net that's Pastor Paul.net today. He takes a deep dive into pitfall number three the false belief that we don't need other people at all.

Let's join Pastor Paul for today's Destin for victory message. The story of us why we need strong relationships, you need to understand that strong relationships are beneficial to all of us and the six benefit that I'm mentioning is this business of redemptive correction. Please know you only get better by letting somebody show you things about yourself that are always pleasant to have to look at but when a friend rebukes to Solomon says here in Proverbs 27 and six. You can trust it. They don't then I come in for you because they don't like you not trying to tear you down there coming for you because they want to see God's best in your life one more of these benefits again.

There are many about the pages of Scripture. I'm only pointing out seven in the interest of time. The seventh benefit of strong relationships that I want to point out is they help you become your best self iron sharpening iron is what Proverbs 2717 talks about.

Look at Proverbs 27 and verse 17 as iron sharpens iron, so man or person that's not gender specific sharpens the countenance of his or her friend, just like iron sharpens iron and it makes bold elements are better as a result of a notice that means him down is no reflection. That's the way we can help each other so don't ask people to help you all. Only by affirming you because we can help you if all we get to do was affirm you. We gotta be able to rub you. Sometimes a way that hurts sometimes create friction. We recently in a recent MOD gathering. When our men gathered twice a month we we gathering in group in a large group and then we break into life groups of 3 to 12 men and sometimes in those groups. We just had it at a recent MOD. There is friction and they are cloaked. I get angry when they came back together and they mention pastor. We got into a fight their own zoom. So when the physical fight. Thank you Jesus, for they got into a real heated discussion and argument, and I said okay good.

Why, because if you're really doing life together sometime you don't get mad at one another. I know some of your practice sloppy adopt you grin all the time. Always grin and always praise the Lord God bless you. Love you so much. Don't come from behind Adams and Kristin tell it to Paul and Barnabas tended to Paul and Barnabas and exiting the right to take the second missionary journey and Paul said all right let's go, but it was a little bit. John Mark and Paul said he not go with us.

He levels the last time is doubly not dormant us neural.

Read my lips. He's not coming and they got into the Bible says it was sharp contention. Don't tell me that the only way to prove your spirit filled as you grin and all the time.

It's simply not biblical. So they're going to help you become your best self.

And sometimes that involves that you're going to have friction in the process. That's why you can't just have strong relationships without some accountability attend to some of those relationships was accountability that I don't get to just do my own thing without somebody else's eyeballs on it saying here is a problem with what you just said problem with what you just did. Accountability means you answer to other people. It's not so much a hierarchal thing as much is yielding to the wisdom that someone else provides the password to get that will first of all is built into New Testament living for instance to Ephesians chapter 5. Let me show you how the church how the apostle Paul taught the saints to live together, go to Ephesians 5 put that on the screen for me.

Verse 17 and one want to go down through verse 21 therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is all right but don't be unwise. Great tedious to the movement and do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation that means access the main just over the top one way out of bounds but be with the spirit so we are to be spirit filled minutes speaking to one another in psalms him spiritual song singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord to the early church before we were able to get ourselves organized Hattie's great praise and worship teams like minister George Turner Hill leads here at destiny and get our music all type before that the saints had again today and have a Hammond B3 a month but there were taught, saying and make making melody in your hearts to the Lord and worship together keep on going. After that, it says giving thanks always for all things to God the father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ that wants this next element submitting to one another in the fear of God. He is just doing life together. Part of that is submitting whether submission means submission means I voluntarily yield submission is not I'm inferior to the person I submit to it just means I voluntarily yield I don't make decisions without accountability somebody takes a look at what I said I want to do and they weigh in on it and I yield to the wisdom. Wisdom can come from people who have been saved as long as you will think incompetent people who are younger than you wisdom. Wisdom doesn't mean I'm the oldest one and so what I say counts know something I will end on Col. somebody on the know I'm telling the truth. Never met that no fool like an old fool.

So we gotta learn to walk in accountability so that we get older we all become more foolish for my need to be sent a man right from your house because you know I just told the truth and so submit to one another as a safety submission is a means to heal. When you're on a ramp that will lead you into a freeway and you see a yield sign in the lane that Sharon is your about to merge yield means don't just jump out there look at the traffic that's already out there and if there is a vehicle that's too close so that if the two of you intersect right now you would crash and you will make a change in the healing center.

Guess who has to make the changes you do is you want entering to the freeway. So, you back off.

Let that car go and then you tucked in behind them. You need to live your life tucked in, need to live your life worse and I get to look at what you said to hey let me help you.

Let me help you close what you just did is not right and you yield to that wisdom say okay what should I do, you need to call him up and apologize and then not be Lord over you. They are using their relationship with you and the family of God to help you be your best self just seven benefits. There are many, but my brother, my sister, especially you introverts I want to tell you, you gotta have people in your life, and single. You gotta have people in your life that you don't have bedroom that you been dreaming of before boom comes, you better have some folk walk which you. In fact, when you are interviewing booze. You better have somebody who was already playing the good walls in your life so that when you come all China fall in love you have a friend you have a company brother sister who is not in love who can put objective eyes on it and tell you what's really going on there. From there perspective are not leads me into the fourth floor and this one is specifically for all you singles but I want marriage to check it out because you're gonna help me preach this message to the singles that in the kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, whatever friends covenant friends you gotta help them. Those who are looking to get married. I'm not also looking to get married, but those are looking to get married and supposedly to pay attention to this, and even singles to date not necessarily expect to remarry on the say something to help you so married folk tune in, so that you can help me say this, the folks who are with us in the service. Be there about why you're dating because he is the pit hit throughout Lord of the pitfalls number four dating without evaluating that's pitfalls number four dating without evaluating did you get that that's a pitfall. If all you do is date but you don't evaluate that is a problem. So let me walk you through that and make sure you understand why why you gotta be clear about why you're dating. See if you're looking for a marriage partner dating is interviewing that's really what you're doing if you're looking for a marriage partner.

Then when you want to date it really is an interview.

Now you you you don't want to feel like an interview to the person you're obese and that which a pen and paper and get all all that's okay. Now not all you will do that. But enough when you're dating with marriage as a possibility in your head I'm looking for potential life partner, then you can just date you got to evaluate first thing is you gotta be clear in your heart about why you're dating I'm dating because I'm looking to see is this a person I can link my life to. Is this a person I can do that then it's like it's a form of interviewing you want to be you want to really make sure it's a fun time and enjoyable time. But it really is a type of interviewing.

That's why you're dating.

Be clear and if that's not why you're dating if you're dating the site now not looking for something about Marsal using the sound I want to get married. I'm not sure some of you have been previously married and then work out well you're divorced and then what have you. Sometimes you have some horror stories is how I'm letting sure I want to get married again.

Okay, you will have to you have to get married again. You may choose to be open and available for marriage or you may choose to stay in the single status what you want to keep covenant relationships as I just describe or build them in your life will be right back with more of today's destined for Victor message from Pastor Paul Shepherd, senior pastor of destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont, California. Listen to this broadcast on demand.

Pastor Paul.net that's Pastor Paul.net. We also find a host of great resources that are online store, and stay tuned after today's message Pastor Paul joins me from studio California first the student to the rest of today's message. The story of us why we need strong relationships, so be clear about why you're dating Pastor Weiss about be clear about it.

If I'm not necessarily looking for companion when I was somebody they need to know, maybe not on the first date but if you will date them in multiple two or three times by the second third date you want them to know I'm really not sure we did marry I thought I would just make that clear where you on that. Are you hoping one day I'll bet you're going to be married and have a discussion.

Why, because this is your brother or sister in Christ, if they're saying that they know Christ there your brother or sister in Christ want them thinking one thing and you have a very another thing in your head so I want to be careful not to mislead my brother or sister in Christ.

So if I'm not looking for like companion. I did what was my go to the movie with that we get to the place where we do that again. I write nine going nowhere, watching everything in my house but but when we get to the place where we get back to all that. If all you want. I just want to see this film with somebody on the opposite sex. I can just have a one time when we maybe go grab a meal and watch the movie to watch the movie and Anita is whatever that's all you looking for. Make sure about a second or third day they know you're not looking for the bell rang looking for. Gotta put a ring on it all I want somebody's hand in my popcorn and we both we both Sharon and holding it all you first of all take some sanitizing which you scored this in your hand. Real real good now.

We both love the big toe popcorn and we both reach in and watch and enjoy. See you know what you doing and what should not doing now you are looking for a life partner and their and their good would that then you can pay multiple times because you're not misleading them that you want to hang out hey want to hike to go ahead want to go to movie together. Whatever is going to but if you are looking for life partner and there's no point in you wasting the time of somebody who has a different plan. We want to be clear because we love one another in Christ somebody going home currently and when I'm going home happy this be on the same page about what it is were doing and what we not doing now, for you were looking for life partners. Let me just give you three real quick principles and I'll be done in the next message I'll call with some more things that benefit both singles and married. But if you are looking for a life partner job is now evaluate the person's core values evaluate their views on marriage and evaluate their personal vision keep that on the screen for another 30 seconds or so I can jot that down. There are three things I want you singles while looking for a marriage partner.

When you date to note. You want to know their values.

That is the core values.

The values that drive the life you want to know their views on marriage and you want to know their personal vision pastor was set about their values are. Are they I called kingdom first. See sample kingdom first 61st the kingdom of God's righteousness. All these things be added to you.

Matthew 633. That's what I mean when I say kingdom first. Not every Christian is kingdom's, some people are just saved and that's it. They are Brylcreem Christians I set over a decade now I realize I gotta update the younger generations than me, but also baby boomers remember a product on TV back when we were young Carl Brylcreem and they had a slogan and the slogan was a little dab will do you.

It was a little gel that people would put in their hair and all that and they and they advertise the fact that you will have to score the whole but know that little dab will do you some people practice Brylcreem Christianity little dab of Jesus little dab. Richard little dab no kingdom living is this one's my life. If you are looking for now is partner and you are kingdom and you look up with some kingdom casual. That's not because they don't understand why you always pray and why you always remember why you always listen to Pastor Paul, why don't understand all that yelling, so aspire to be. Sable salt is an and you hear message and it changes your life and brings conviction and use old hydrant and then I will say this is what he said that not all kingdom first. People say I'm not paid attention to a man first on paying attention to the Lord and so you want to check out their values, then you want. Check out their hold of you when it comes to marriage their view of marriage. Not all marriages are the same. Some people are looking for quite equal kind of partnership. Other people are looking for one to be the more dominant person in their career and all that drives what we do when we go where we live and the other person is just there as a support and a companion and some program looking for that dominant and support some poker looking for both of us are of equal importance in every way.

And so you gotta find out whether their views on marriage and you got to find out than their vision. What's their vision for living for their life when they get where they're going. Where will they be is what you want to know if you're dating somebody trying to assess is this potentially a life partner. When you get what you want. Will you be that what is their personal vision for their life if they see themselves on the mission field you plan to stay in the United States of America all the days of your life less you going on a trip on which you'll enjoy a week or two somewhere and come right back and you not trying to go to Africa to win the loss you not trying to go to Indonesia. Do not try to go display that all then then that's not yours. If they see themselves on the mission field. If they see themselves as rough and infant Jesus, and you want to be here make big money and and and limiting a nice house and enjoying life here in the Western Hemisphere on a play about it does not yet person because they have a vision and hopefully they they believe that from the Lord for them and if they have a companion. Guess what they need to find someone who is good with rough iniquities, but don't try to take a left live for Jesus and a boozy person and your hookah homework, boozy, glad to find boozy rough it will have to find a reference among thanks so much for being here today for Pastor Paul Shepard's message the story of us why we need strong relationships you know every day on destined for victory. We ask people to stand with us financially is because we are a listener supported ministry.

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That's influencers for Christ our gift to you this month by request for your generous donation to destine for victory. As iron sharpens iron, so man or person that's not gender specific sharpens the countenance of his or her friend, just like iron sharpens iron and it makes bold elements are better as a result of an notice that means sometimes the reflection. That's the way we can help each other. That's next time it Pastor Paul Shepard's message Cliff notes for successful living. Until then, remember he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion in Christ, you are destined for victory