Properly Addressing Pain and Loss

Hello and welcome to Destin for victory with pastor Paul Shepherd, Senior Pastor destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont California. So glad you stopped by. Just moments away from today's message.

Properly addressing pain and loss. But first, Pastor Paul joins me from his studio in California pastor. I think all of us feel at some level the Christmas and the Christmas season has become much more than just a celebration of the Savior's birth are so many distractions and as a way of encouraging listeners.

Maybe you could share how you and your family keep the focus of Christmas on Christ.

Well I think when I can truthfully say that keeping focused on Christ has never been a challenge in here is why. Because I grew up in a home and so did my wife where Christ was the reason for the season. Yes, there was giftgiving. Yes, you were good times would be had and enjoyed. But Christ was always at the center. Now when we had our two children as they were growing up.

We enjoyed sharing with them the fairytales you know 'twas the night before Christmas and the rain here in IL and of course Anna, but we made sure that our kids like we as children always knew that this season is about Jesus and we kept him from front and center. And even now in our 60s. My wife and I are seasoned citizens. I don't want to use that word, Senior, hey I like that way from as long as I possibly can.

But where seasoned citizens in our 60s and in these days we don't give gifts to each other. We give each other cards and and all of that, but we decided some time back what we've rather do is give what we would spend on each other.

We want to take that money and invested in the lives of families in need, or individuals in our sphere of influence. We do that every year and we bless a few folks and there always just amazed by that but we find it just as fulfilling as receiving. In fact, a lot of ways it's more it's kind of what Jesus said it's more blessed to give than to receive. You can imagine that when your kids but once you get my you realize that it really is true. We do we really do.

I find that it's not so much keeping her focus on crisis a challenge. It's all the activities that get in the way all the things to do and you know was a pastor all the responsibilities you have so that that's a difficulty to overcome to this and we just have to make sure that our schedules are lined up with our priorities and so if our priority is to worship and if our priority is to spend quality time with family and with the Saints of God, then we just have to make that happen. You know, time is one of those things that if you don't control it. It will manage itself in ways that you don't want it to. So we make sure to keep our priorities firmly in focus and we don't let the busyness drive us crazy. I don't like to see people lose all their sanity and their dignity because they're trying to enjoy the holidays. Take your time, paste your life. Enjoy what's important and let God be glorified because Jesus really is the reason for the season.

Amen thank you Pastor Paul for helping us to refocus and with the season is all about. And speaking of refocusing, that's the title of this month. Special offer a DVD from Pastor Paul.

It's a message that will help you put the past year in its proper perspective so that you can move ahead with faith into 2021. Request your copy when you make your very best gift this Christmas season to Destin for victory call 855-339-5500 to give over the phone or visit Pastor Paul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destin for victory PO Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538. We all do we prepare to enter into higher enter into better to experience what God has for you is going to have to deal properly with the fact that some things in your life don't remain there and you need to deal properly with loss since it's so easy to dwell in all we have lost God wants us to focus in all we have left today's Destin for victory. Pastor Paul encourages you to move on for the pain of your past so that God can take you to the future destiny belongs to give you so now here's Pastor Paul. Today's Destin for victory message properly addressing pain and loss.

If you're going to journey successfully toward fulfillment. Not only does it require passion. Make a note of this. The journey toward fulfillment requires a paradigm shift and requires passion like Caleb had. But it also requires a paradigm shift and just in case you're not familiar with that word. A lot of us became familiar with that word alone years ago, probably 30 years ago when Stephen Covey wrote a book that became quite popular and it was called the seven habits of highly effective people, and he talked in one of his points a lot about the need for paradigm shift and a lot of us grab that concept held onto it and it's done me well for many many years since then, but perhaps you may not be familiar with it, so let me just help you understand what you mean when you say paradigm. What is the simplest way I can put it paradigm is the point of view or the perspective from which you operate. So a paradigm is a particular local or vantage point is a particular point of view, it's a particular perspective. You have as you operate in your life and you're going to move toward fulfillment. You're going to need to have a paradigm shift. Now here's why it's important in this particular concept and I want you to know what this sentence is added various times in life's journey.

People who have been important to you are going to die or otherwise leave your life this past week about fulfillment we trying to get to the promises we try to have some fun in Candyland. Why are you talking about death, I'm glad you asked because here's the answer. The only way to be prepare to enter into higher to enter into better to experience what God has for you is you're going to have to deal properly with the fact that some things in your life don't remain there and you need to deal properly with loss since now I said to my wife as I was preparing this particular message in the series. I said to her. At one point. This doesn't even feel like a sermon. It feels like a therapy session and I want to say if you have never been to therapy you're about to have some whether you want to unknot but I promise you it's going to do you good. Let the word of God, get into your business because it's there to make it better if they are to take you higher it's there to help you experience the best of what God has for you, but I want you to see what I just say I want to make note of it at various times on life's journey. People who have been important to you are going to die or otherwise leave your life. Let me show you what I mean. Go with me to the last chapter of the book of Deuteronomy, and here's what you're going to see.

Then Moses went up from the plains of Moab to Mount Nebo to the top of Pisgah, which is across from Jericho and the Lord showed him all the land skip down to verse four then the Lord said to him, this is the land on which I swore to give Abraham, Isaac and Jacob saying I will give it to your descendents I have caused you to see it with your eyes but you Moses shall not cross over so God before he took Moses out of this world. He said I want you to come appear on this mountain with me. I want you to see the land I promised to give Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

I want you to say that he said but Moses you're not going to be able to cross over. Now you're wondering why couldn't Moses crossover.

He was the one that helped the people to get away from Egypt was the one that caused them across the Red Sea. Why would God let him go all the way into the promised land. Well, the answer is because at a certain point in the wilderness, the people would dare doubt and unbelief and murmuring and complaining and bickering and all the rest of they caused Moses to act out so badly that he offended God. If you never read about that.

Do yourself a favor and just read about it.

I don't want to take a lot of time, but in numbers chapter 20. You will find that particular episode.

The people who are doing what they do, complaining, and they said we can't find any decent water over here and so what happened God said are we going make sure to get royalties and Moses take the staff and I want you to speak to the rock. And when you speak to Little Rock. I want you to watch I'm going to bring supernatural provision of water out of that rock people bill to drink their flocks, their herds, their cattle will be able to drink and I'm going to show once again, supernatural God, but in numbers 20 after God said Moses take your staff but speak to the rock you're going to find when you read numbers 20 that Moses was so sick of all that instead of speaking to the rock he spoke to them.

He said all a bunch of levels and use all his frustration. You saw his anger. He was so angry that he actually struck Little Rock twice and the rock was a divine provision said it was like he was striking God and God was up and God said to him later when you then that Newt dishonored me in the presence of the people I'm the one that's gonna take them in the Canaan, the only one who can blossom and you have dishonored me in front of them and because of that Moses you're not going to be able to take them in to the promised land. I have to confess I've been a pastor since I was 24 years old when I started as an associate pastor for seven years of full-time ministry. Whereas an associate pastor under my dad in Philly and then I have 31 I moved to California and began my first of the two pastorates out here. I've been a pastor for a long time, decades, and I can confess I know why he struck the rock people can get on your nerves as a leader, not sure all but people I know can get on your nerves and can really cause you act out so I get it now Moses was wrong. He knew he was wrong, but I love God discipline you without leaving you and I love what we see here at the end of Deuteronomy God generated take him home but he said Moses before I take you I want you to see your kid and all because of what you did earlier that I want you to see it and he let them look (see the promised land and then the Lord took him home. In fact, I love it when you read this passage. The Bible tells you.

Verse five here at the end of Deuteronomy.

So Moses the servant of the Lord, died there in the land of Moab, according to the word of the Lord God buried him in the valley in the land of Moab opposite Beth PR but no one knows his grade. To this day I love that because I mean you gotta be somebody for God to officiate your funeral and knows what happened. God officiated. Moses barely said ongoing barium myself here for said it took him to a secret graveside God buried the man himself. And so even though he had disrespected the Lord in his anger, God still loved them, God still took care of him right to the very end of his life, but now here's that was just the sidebar. I don't really want to get off there so I want to stay focused here and look at what happened. Look at verse eight of this last chapter here in Deuteronomy.

The children of Israel left because the Lord took him. He died in 120 years old. The people left for Moses in the plains of Moab 30 days so the days of weeping and mourning for Moses in Paul's life there. Here's where you therapy session begins will be right back with more of today's destined for victory message from Pastor Paul Sheppard.

Remember you can always listen to the broadcast on demand@pastorpaul.net that's Pastor Paul.net will find a host of great resources that are online store you can also listen or download the podcast a Google podcast or wherever you get yours now. Once again, here's Pastor Paul with the rest of today's message. Properly addressing pain and loss. This verse teaches us what kinds of paradigm shifts you have to have if you're going to experience God's best for your life. Specifically, this verse is going to show you that all of us have to learn how to move on some things. All of us have to learn how to honor some things and all of us have to learn how to bid farewell and move on from some things all right. Fasten your seatbelt because were going in here. We got a deal with the fact that you can't move forward. If you have been properly addressed, the past and the present one of our problems in the body of Christ is sometimes where so anxious to move ahead that we don't take care all the proper necessities so the first thing you have to do to have a paradigm shift that will prepare you for your future is you gotta identify the things that must be mourned. All of us have people and circumstances that blessed us for a season but then they are no more all of us know what it is to lose a loved one loose someone near and dear to us if you haven't had that experience yet. My grandmother would've had a word for you. Keep on living. Just keep on living because sooner or later you're going be in morning you're going to have loss come into your life. It is known to all people death is going to happen and so you gotta learn how to mourn not only must you learn how to mourn the death of good things, but you need to learn how to mourn, even when people are trying to encourage you to move forward. I don't know if you have experienced it.

But there are some people who hated that your crime and so they try to get to the stop crying and get you to feel good and people try to get you to dry up your tears and let's go do this and let's go see that and it trying to push it past your pain you've experienced that I have and it's not pretty.

Do yourself a favor when you run in the fall who aren't comfortable with your pain. Drop them off somewhere thinking about you like permanently.

But drop them off somewhere for that season that you need to mourn. Don't let people try to make you happy when you need to be said Toyotas will be therapy when I need to cry.

I don't need you and your joy bells ring and all the time when I need to be in his way resent in my feelings almost every now and then needed to go on and be in filling by Michael Stadium. I'm not going to be ignorant, but I do need to possess my feelings, my brothers and my sisters. If you have some things that hurt. That's why God gave you to docs you are supposed to cry. You are supposed to cry grieving is natural grieving is normal and is the thing a lot of turtle don't know, and grieving is healthy. You're supposed to grieve. You gotta do something with that hurt with that pain.

When something significant when someone important has left your life. It leaves a pain, it creates a problem for you emotionally and you got a process that stuff and I am here to inform you, yes higher, is coming. Yes, the days are coming when your tears will be dried up. The smiles will return your going to experience some great happy times, but those times will always be great if you process where you are right now appropriately so give yourself permission to grieve deep grief and sorrow doesn't dissipate I need to understand something so is not like a vapor you see a vapor and then it just fades away. That's because all the physical properties of vapor. It's not going to linger. It's not going to stay is not going to like a cloud and you can keep watching it vapor by his very nature. It's there now and then it dissipates, grieve, and deep sorrow are not like that grief and deep sorrow role are there and they remained there until they are properly addressed, and I need you to understand something, because there there God wants you to appropriately deal with it.

So look at our text. You saw that when Moses died the people left for 30 days. They mourned for 30 days. They talk about Moses and his role in their life and they recalled the things he did and limited time Moses did this and remember when he let us know that and do you remember some of those plagues and do you remember this and they just reminisced and they just move on and they live in those feelings off tardy days. They cried when they needed to cry. They talked when they needed to talk. Sometimes they slept. Sometimes it couldn't go to sleep.

Sometimes they have moments of happiness moments and smiled breaking out. Sometimes it would go from smiling to crime is the nature of your emotional makeup and I'm here to tell you we need to learn the lesson like Israel learned that, and it is time for you to let God minister to your belt needs so we've got a learn how to mourn now we go a little deeper in therapy. I come to learn that in fact, sometimes you need to process not only the loss of some good things and good people in your life. Watch this one. Sometimes you have to learn to mourn and properly process the loss of negative people of abusive people, even of toxic people. The fact that somebody was abusive and toxic and digital role doesn't mean when they leave your life, you can just act like they never happened and be healthy. Sometimes you have to work through the pain. Someone should have never caused you. If you don't work through that pain. The residue of what they did remains there. If you don't deal with it properly it will actually make you sick.

It can make you sick. Emotionally, physically, psychologically, I have been a pastor long enough to know there are people I have pastored over the years who have walking, talking PTSD.

They never went to war, but they dealt with some white in their lives right here in America right in their homes and in their families. PTSD is not about soldiers is about people who may have somebody not so much for joining this message. What are they regressing pain and loss. If you'd like more information about Destin for victory or how to request our special offer is you give your best gift this month.

Be sure to stop by our website Pastor Paul.net that's Pastor Paul.net as long as you keep asking God what if he can't take you to what's next is Pastor Paul move forward because the new things that other things ahead of you and so you will live a life that's purpose driven God's purposes for my life. Move on. Therefore are not going to get stuck in the what was I'm going to by faith, believe what is yet to come. That's tomorrow in Pastor Paul's message properly addressing pain and loss. Until then, remember he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion in Christ, you are destined for victory