Train Up a Child

Welcome to the radio ministry ethically returns in Henderson Margo's tonight Christ visible Clearview is a place of genuine worship with ministries for all age groups and all people. For more information, visit us at 3485 Oxford Rd. in Henderson for visit us online@clearviewb.org now join us for this week's message by Pastor items is apparent. Potty training can be denied or would you agree with that this morning. I'm sure you would agree with me. Potty training is just the bottom line of training your kids.

There is so much more than the life training a man they need training in so many bigger and more important things this morning.

Our message is called train up a child.

Genesis chapter 25. Let's all stand together for the reading of God's word starting in verse 21 now Isaac pleaded with the Lord for his wife because she was barren and the Lord granted his plea and Rebekah his wife conceived. So when her days were fulfilled for her to give birth. Indeed, there were twins in her womb, and the first came out red.

He was like a hairy garment all over so they called his name Esau afterword his brother came out in his hand took hold of Esau's heel so his name was called Jacob. So the boys grew and Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, but Jacob was a mild man, dwelling in tents and Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebecca loved Jacob, do you believe that children can be trained. Do you believe that you believe that children should be trained in other some people out there who feel that children should be allowed to be children. Do whatever comes natural to them and somehow someway there and figure things out. Do you believe what the Bible says in Proverbs chapter 22 verse six train up a child in the way he or she should go and when he or she is old he or she will not depart from it. Do you believe that the mask this morning are you doing all you can to train your children in the way they should go. Do you even know the right way and how can I ask you for directions if you don't know where it is. Do you know Christ as your Savior. I asked that every week because to me that's the most important thing you can do for your children is to lead them to Christ.

I'm praying this morning as we walked to this message. If you haven't done that. That's the first thing you need to do today. Give your life to Christ. We been studying the family of Abraham and Sarah through the book of Genesis looking at their good decisions and their bad decisions and the impact those decisions made to the second herd and even later generations this morning become the second generation, the family of Isaac and Rebekah were to learn from them. Not only how to train your child, but how not to train your child. So this morning.

Let's begin.

We just read that Isaac prayed for his wife Rebecca because she could not have a child, and God answered her prayers, but then something happened what happened.

Listen to verse 22 but the children struggled together within her, and she said if all is well. Why am I like this one in the world is going on and then she says she went to Encarta inquire of the Lord and the Lord said to her two nations are in your will some you ladies may have felt like when you were pregnant but a whole country was in you so uncomfortable, but here there's something more happening to peoples shall be separated from your body. One people shall be stronger than the other and the older shall serve the younger. Two things are happening here.

First, God's plan of salvation is in motion.

What is that mean Paul explains to us in Romans chapter 9 verse 11. Listen to what he says for the children talking about the twins that were in Rebecca's womb for the children not yet been born nor having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works but of him who calls. It was said to her, the older shall serve the younger.

What exactly is that talking about. It means this God in his sovereign will chose Abraham, Isaac and Jacob to bring his plan of salvation into the world. Nothing those boys could have done that made them worthy of God's choice. He chose them because he chose them.

He didn't choose Abraham, Ishmael, he did not choose Abraham, Isaac and Esau. He chose Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. What was happening inside Rebecca's womb was that Jacob sovereignly chosen by God was positioning himself to be the dominant one. I don't misunderstand this choice of God. This election was God of God was not unto salvation but unto service to bring Jesus into this world. Anybody anywhere can come to know Christ as their Savior if they want to this election was regarding carrying God's plan of salvation into this world. Sometimes people say to me that's kind of unfair. Why would God choose the Jewish people.

Why would he choose the people of Israel. What's wrong with us. I just want tell you this morning. I don't know what you feel about the choice. Thank God he chose them and not us because the people, the Hebrews or the people of Israel or the Jewish people been through so much because God chose them, so that was one reason why she was feeling this turmoil inside of her. But there's a second reason that is more pertinent to our message today in the second reason is this the children's personalities were being manifested.

Listen again to verse 25 in the first meeting Esau came out red.

He was like a hairy garment all over so they called his name Esau. The older one was red and hairy like a bear or wolf.

The word for hairy in Hebrew is say say this, we get the word Esau. Esau, the hairy one the wild one.

But this is an export verse 26. Afterword, his brother came out he is not the way Esau was, but his hand took hold of Esau's heel so his name was called Jacob. You see the word for heel in Hebrew is a cab. Jacob the grass for the one who takes hold of the heel. What is happening here. Listen carefully, even before Esau and Jacob were born. They had certain personality traits. The older one was the wild one and the second one was trying to be the leader and because they couldn't get along. There were fighting inside of her and Rebecca says something is wrong, let me make a statement here. Hopefully you will agree kids don't enter this world as a blank slate into what we think is a child is completely neutral until he arrives.

And then things happen and to develop their personalities. Not true. They come with certain personality traits even before they're born. Some are good and some are not so good. You say, where do they get these personality traits there are mirrors in the bathroom everywhere. Take a look.

Would you like to know where they get it from.

Of course from God, but a little more specific. They're coming through the unique combinations in your family. The point is this kids have certain personality traits even before they come into this world some good and some not so good.

Get to know them were living in such a high pace, fast-paced world, who has time to figure those things that we just don't want to do this and that's it.

I don't care what you think. Stop and once you see their bent, then you pray, you see God's grace and wisdom to train them in the way they should go, this one here is spiritually bent. Encourage them if this one is not your hands off and say what you are. You don't care what he doesn't care for Sunday school and all know that's not true what you have to do in this situation say no.

That reminds me of his uncle. Anyways let's let's find a way. Let's find a way that you are going to go to church. Why don't care Ron like to read doesn't matter what you are going to honor God, you train them sometime back this them only charge for short only church many years ago I had this one parent who would tell me this. I would ask them to hate you you you kids are coming Sunday school and her answer to me was always this. Why don't want my kids to turn out like so-and-so's kids in the church and I knew they were referring to this family. There their children kind of that's a lot of crazy things and this person was saying.

I don't want my children to turn out like their children, so I'm not going to make them do anything regarding church. I just don't want to have the free spirit I can guarantee right now to others. Three kids have nothing to a church that has nothing to do with it. That family had other issues when my boys are boys were young, they do not want to brush her teeth sometimes to wonder did not want to brush her teeth. I was on the armor that you could brush her teeth don't get it.

Why won't you want to brush her teeth and if we can say that would go for days, weeks, like at camp how to tell the Council make sure the box rested teeth you the older now the brush her teeth. I have never met a grown adult who who who, when he turned she turned 18, looked at the toothbrush and said never again because my mom made me brush doesn't happen. Why because you grubbing a way that's important. Train up a child you see that they have certain bends. Let's move on. Our time is very short. That's just the beginning there born with certain personality trait just like Esau was wild, and Jacob was trying to be the leader but the rest of their personality comes from the environment in which they live. Listen to what it says in verse 28, and Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebecca love Jacob know right from the get go. You know something is wrong with that playing favorites. The technical term for that is differential parenting. Differential parenting is is unfortunate is very common were parents prefer one child over the other in our home we made a decision many years ago there were not going to play that game were not going to do the my favorite or your favorite books that doesn't heart help anybody. It hurts, it hurts the child who is being neglected. It hurts that family. But why didn't Isaac favor Esau listen to the reasoning because he ate of his game in the Hebrew the actual wording is because game was in his mouth.

What it means is this he loved Esau because he could bring him wild meat. It could be that Isaac was a hunter in his early days. But now he is 78 years of age he cannot go out there and and said in the standard.

However, they hunted back then four hours and then in the track.

The kill, and then got it out you don't have all the patience of the strength so now he sees his son who is a wild man and he said Hobart T what you are so good just so good. Go out there and get me another one just like kids they want to please their parents and he would become more and more a man of the field. It worked to the parents. Nothing wrong with desiring your kids to be better in academics or music or athletics or business. Nothing wrong with that.

We do that as well.

We have our kids get coaching. We have our kids take music lessons we have are kids going to leadership camps.

Nothing in the world is wrong with that but let me warn you here this morning, don't do it in order to live vicariously through your kids, your living vicariously means your glory days are over.

Now you're trying to relive those days through your children your soul does that happen. Have your been to a Little League game. I stopped going. I stopped going.

Years ago I did want to go because here's a five-year-old and a six-year-old trying to play ball and mom and daddy are are cussing and angry and calling all kinds. It doesn't happen. For those of y'all seen it.

The trying to live their children to have ulterior motives and by the way, it not only negatively affects the kid who is being neglected, but also negatively affects the kids you are favoring couple years ago the Journal of child development had an article by Dr. Jennifer Jenkins. She is a professor of human development and applied psychology of the University of Toronto, she research hundreds of families, and this is what she found she found that not only the child who is neglected suffers with depression, anger, and all those issues, but even the child who is being favored struggles. You know why the struggle. This struggle with the uneasiness over the unfairness they are witnessing in their parents a child is used to fairness. So when they see mom or daddy doting over them.

The one what's wrong with my brother. Why won't they be so nice to my sister. Why is it just about me and this is what the founder of the research that many of those kids who have been favored actually grew up angry antisocial depressed favoritism doesn't help anybody. Esau did not become a better person because Isaac loved him. In fact, he did everything wrong can ask you this morning. Have you been playing favorites with the child. Several things need to happen. If you are number one you need to seek the forgiveness of the child. You have neglected is not funny it's not cute, don't do it. Need to ask them to forgive your say I don't know why we did that is in maturity but I'm sorry that's the hardship treated you. I love all of you equally. I'm sorry. Number two, you need to ask forgiveness even of the child.

You have favored because they may not say it, but inwardly it has affected them.

You have disrupted their sense of fairness asked her forgiveness. Let's move all Isaac loved Esau because he had a taste for wild food.

What about Rebecca, it says Rebecca loved Jacob no, don't misunderstand this people do this all the time. They think that each parent pick their favorites. Isaac picked Esau, Rebecca picked Jake up both of them are guilty of differential parenting. That's what people think the wrong is how do you know they're wrong because if you notice in that first Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebecca love Jacob. There is no reason given the finger of guilt is only at Isaac and not Rebecca is a what you mean by that only Isaac was guilty in this family guilty of satisfying his tastebuds but also neglecting Jacob. Maybe Jacob was too soft for him.

They could maybe Jacob was too naïve for him. Isaac chores Esau but neglected Jacob. It is not that Rebecca love Jacob, but she saw Jacob being neglected. She saw his spiritual bent and she loved him. She came alongside him to encourage him for that happens a lot. Mothers are usually the ones who do it right. Fathers are know what it is we play favors most of the time there some mom to do that to. But most the time is the mothers who see in goat that's not right was happening in this home is Isaac was the guilty one, not Rebecca. She simply loved him and wanted to encourage him in his spiritual bent. Now how do we know that Jacob had a spiritual bent.

Listen to the very next verse John Genesis 25, 29, Jacob Cook, the student and Esau came in from the field and he was weary. The Hebrew word is actually he was starving. What happens when you starving you can think of the Snickers commercial you are not you when you are hungry, so really funny ones.

He comes in and he says to Jacob.

Please feed me that same red stew for I am starving. The English kinda messes things up in the Hebrew. It actually says let me swallow let me gulp it down please. Some of that red stuff, for I am starving then it says there is a curious line. He said therefore his name was called Edom.

His name was Esau which means a hairy one, but now it says his name was also read. I did some research on this. In ancient cultures.

Red was the color of hero is red was the color of strength and valor. The Greeks, Egyptians, the Hebrews amazing isn't it that Esau never corrected G Isaac never corrected Esau, even to the point that his name became a secular name. His name was read and couple years ago when we went to Israel mountains of Edom. This is where Edom's family settled, even those mountains are red. I mean this family was so obsessed his descendents were so obsessed about being strong and powerful, and being the winners, but even that shows the landscape to be read. So what happens he comes in and said look, I'm about to die. Jacob says verse 31. Sell me your birthright. As of this day and I want was a birthright so important. Jacob because the birthright whoever handed they would be in God's promise plan to save the world. Others could be saved but they would be the carriers Jacob was not a wild man. He had a spiritual bent even before he was born he was trying to be the leader of the godly leader. His mother saw the spiritual bent. She encouraged him she loved him, and when the opportunity came and made a deal with his brother. Hey listen, I'll give you food if you give me a birthright because I want to have what you have listen to Esau's response said I'm about to die. So what is this birthright to have it Jacob says. Swear to me this day.

So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob, but that was only half the deal to really be the birthright owner what you need. You not only need the brother to give it to you, but you also need the father to bless you.

You need the core but you also need the baraka what happened later on member Isaac told Esau go out there and hunt and make me some good meal and Rebecca heard it and she called Jacob over the many times preachers and Sunday school teachers, and books have really messed it up. This all Rebecca should've never deceived them. Not a single time in the Bible you will find God, condemning Rebecca for that she calls Jacob over and said listen, I will do something for you. I want to cook your meal a goat and I want to take it to your daddy he can see and get him to bless you as a mom I can do that dance go smelling he's gonna know it's not me he's gonna feel me because I'm not hairy like brother is not a problem but on his clothes and she covered his hands, his neck with the goat's hair and he went in there and he got the blessing, not a single time does the Bible say and that was wrong. If it were left up to Isaac.

Rebecca knew that if it were left up to Isaac, he would have allowed his tastebuds to dictate God's blessing, it would have really jeopardize God's plan of redemption and she knew that Esau didn't care but her son Jacob did and she said you wanted the new habit.

I'll help you get the blessing and she did. She did what happens next. Listen to Hebrews chapter 12 verse 17 and 18. Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright for you know that afterward when he wanted to inherit the blessing. He was rejected about us and tell us how it all happen, but I can picture someone telling him you know what you did what I do. You give your birthright away. I will do anything with it. Now you understand your family was supposed to be the chosen ones you give it away. His father should've told him that son. I love how good you are and what you were a marksman you are how you can track the animal how you can cook the meal beside him take something was more important than any of these things is walking with God says for he found no place for repent of this not repent is under salvation because anybody anywhere can get saved anytime. This was repentance to get back the calling of God, though he sought it diligently with tears. He cried and he cried and cried. I can imagine him looking at his dad and going, on May all you care about is food and food and food, but you did tell me what I needed and many parents listen. Your children will one to tell you all he cared about was sports and music and academics in a business and this and that you never told me about Jesus Christ. Your teaching your kids so many things. And yet, you're missing the fundamental which is how to walk with God who is responsible to train your children is not the school is not the church.

It doesn't take a village. Would you like to know who the parents you are not only do they have your trades but they also learn when they come into the world is up to you when you see the good one to encourage them when you see the wrong ones to discourage and guide them back into God's way training up a child is a must is a must is a must. So what you do. Couple things number one understand your child's rent as part of the family genes don't play favorites. Don't tell them hey, you're my favorite in your list. Don't do that. It never ever works out for the neglected or the favorite number three encourage those with a spiritual bent number four for those who don't have a spiritual bent to listen generated you. Remind them you talk to them you spend time with them and tell them how much it matters that they walk with God. How much the Bible can change your life.

How much prayer works even of the go. Okay can I go now doesn't matter.

The next day you talk about it again is why want to be legalistic. You know what legalism is a bunch a bunch of small rules in what Christian life is few big rules when you have a bunch of small little rules that's called legalism. People get frustrated with giving some big major ones.

Few walk with God keep them first go to church time reach the lost. I guarantee you they will go off the beaten my success is not in building a big church. My success is not in and in writing more books or writing articles. All that is wonderful. I want to do that and I will do that my success is to see not just myself finishing well but my children finishing well.

I want them at the end of their life to say on following Jesus Christ. Thank you so much for joining us today, and as parents. Remember, God has commanded us to train our child in his way. For more information visit us online@clearviewb.org and for today's sermon notes my blog site@avedonshaw.com