Parents Behaving Badly

Communion to the radio ministry church. Our focus is making Christ is providing worship come check us out at 3485 Oxford Rd. or visit us online review BC.org join us for this week's message by Pastor Albert on shop.

I don't about your kids, but our kids love to hear stories about me: growing up, the love hearing about how mom loved climbing trees, you won't believe that when you saw her singing over here and she loved walking on top of the swing set. Not swinging on it. She loved climbing on top beam and walking across asked Nicole on the way out today to see her say why did you do that they love hearing stories about how I when I was five years old wanted to join the circus went to a circus game home brother and I reset. I think we can join the surveys that absolutely we can just like you know how to balance each other on the palm of their hand. You succumb right up your buddy I'll balance you he held me there for maybe like .2 seconds or something like that fail broke my collarbone and that kinda ended ended my circus career now want you to think with me for a moment, all those things happen. They are in the past tense when we were young we were foolish we were not mature but what if you left the church this morning and look across the parking lot on the swing. Nicole was walking across the top beam. What if you saw me trying to balance myself and join the circus. It would be crazy. You see all those things are fine but you, when you mature when you grow up. Things change now that your life becomes boring but you begin to do things differently this morning to get a look at this message and I love that image that Ryan made on parents behaving badly.

I been pastoring for 18 years.

This is been my first and only church and there have been times that all the time but there have been times when I've had teenagers and even adults in their 30s, 40s sit in my office and say I don't know what to do. My parents do things that are so wrong that living a lifestyle that is so crazy they're making decisions that are so embarrassing.

Unfortunately, we can see that more and more today's message in our series on the family is going to help us understand what to do about parents behaving badly. I'm pretty sure you've never heard a message like this before, but it's in the word of God is coming from the Bible. If you have your Bibles turn to Genesis chapter 30 and let's all stand together now in the process of time, Judas wife died and he went up to his sheep sharers at Temne and he was told to Mark Taymor was Judah's daughter-in-law. I was told her look, your father-in-law is going up to Tim not to share his sheep so she took off her widows garments covered herself with available and sat in an open place, which was on the way to Temne when Judah father-in-law saw her. He thought she was a harlot a prostitute because she had covered her face.

Then he turned to her. By the way God has appointed parents to lead their children. He has designed them to be emotionally more mature than their kids. He has called parents to be the standards of morality and integrity for their children. God has entrusted parents to be the spiritual guides for their children. This is God's standard. As I mentioned earlier, more and more we are seeing parents who are emotionally unstable, morally they are objectionable and spiritually incapable of leading their children in many situations.

What I'm seeing is a pastor is that kids are more mature than the parents is reversing God's design for the family know many of you come from good homes.

This weekend's message is kinda different because many of y'all may come from families where mom and dad to get a church where they prayed for you they were not perfect people, but they try to do things right so today's message is gonna be like thank God for my family.

Thank God for giving me good parents so praise God for that.

But I can guarantee there people here this morning who can say that. Do you admire your parents or are you ashamed of them. Do you know Christ as your Savior as I walked to the message.

Examine your heart and then think about your parents or adults in your life. Do they know Christ. Are you really sure because if they don't then pray for them to be saved. Just walk this message.

What to do when adults specially parents behave badly give you the context. First, for those who are visiting with us. We are in a series on the family from the book of Genesis were looking at the family of Abraham and Sarah, and the decisions they made good decisions, bad decisions and the consequences of those decisions on later generation.

Now we come to the fourth generation. The family of Judah that Judah was Jacob and Leo's heard son, your Jacob had 12 sons from unfortunately to wives and concubines in this message were there to see him as you already heard in the Scripture passage he is going to make a horrible decision. Why do you have sexual relations with his own daughter-in-law and on the flipside, why would his daughter-in-law do something so shameful as to shrink her own father-in-law into sleeping with her as a prostitute.

What in the world is going on before I get into the message. Let me say something real quickly. This is how you know the Bible is the word of God.

This is how you know that this is the truth because it doesn't sugarcoat it doesn't gloss over the failures of its heroes coming this morning with a look at a very embarrassing fact in the life of Judah who was Judah.

Did you know that Judah is the father of the Jewish people Israel, or Jacob had 12 children.

All the tribes except for Judah and Benjamin were dispersed. The only tribe really remaining is a tribe of Judah. That's how you get the Jewish people as well. We don't say Israelites we say Jewish people. This is the father of the Jewish people. God did not sugarcoat it. And the people did not take it out of Scripture because it was embarrassing. This is how you know this is the word of God. Amen. To understand this, we have to back up to the opening verse in Genesis chapter 30 in verse one is on the screen it says and it came to pass at that time that Judah departed from his brothers.

Why did he depart from his brothers. Why did he leave his family camp and move away if you know the context in chapter 37 we read about Joseph, Judas brother younger brother altogether, 12 but Joseph began to have dreams. The dreams were that one day he was going to be a ruler and all the brothers were going to bow before him.

Of course this made the brothers mad and when the opportunity came. They tried to kill him, but one brother talk the others out of killing Joseph and selling him into slavery. Guess who that brother was Judah. Judah is the one who I believe felt they listen sell them away, at least, the blood would not be on our hands. But can you imagine the guilt and the shame Judah had to live with. I can imagine he could still hear the shrieks and the cries of young Joseph as the Midianite traders were taking them away, but Judah had good intentions, I believe, but still imagine selling your brothers, and a group of thugs come right in front of you and this okay here's the deal regarding he's ours now and they're grabbing him to probably slapping him the probably punching him, kicking him in the tricky Judah. I believe had that that imagery that movie being played over and over and over again and then come home and tell that to their daddy and his daddy begins to weep and cry. You know he would not be consoled and day in and day out. He has to see his daddy's face and the tears and I can imagine Judah feeling some days I'm just gonna tell him, because we are telling the truth.

We lied to him and the other brother stopping inside better not. I believe Judah was probably angry, depressed and miserable. And one day he said I'm done I'll go if I'd known I don't gonna lose my mind.

That's why I believe he departed from his brothers. It was the same thing that people do. Even today, with the think is this if I just change my location. Nothing wrong with going away, but here's a problem you can go to the other side of the moon, but you are still the common ingredient in all your problems.

You are the one listen to what David says in Psalm 32 verse three he said when I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long.

You know when you have unconfessed sin in your heart when you have this hidden dirty secret just like Judah did that. We sold our brother. We he maybe getting abused right now looks people are evil back then to he may have been killed already. He may have changed his religion.

When you are living with that shame and that guilt is just like this. Listen to verse four. David says for day and night your hand was heavy upon me. My vitality was turned into the drought of summer secret guilt will only lead to ceaseless grave. Regardless of your location, you can move anywhere you want to. It will still be with you. So what did Judah do after he moved away rough cores he got married is thinking. At least I need someone in my life. By the way, it was interesting in this Abraham love Sarah, Isaac loved Rebecca, Jacob love Rachel when it comes to Judah and his wife. Not only is her name not mentioned, there is no mention about love relationship. It's like he met her. He married her.

He had sexual relations with her and they had three boys.

He is still living in that shame you know why adults act the way they do because it is unprocessed situations in their life that's that's why they do what they do.

He has three sons. I really doubt because of his grief in this hidden secret doubt that he was really a good father to them both.

When you have this huge weight on your heart. How apt are you to sit down and said son let me talk to about the grace of God and how God is awesome and how God has a plan for your life. You're too busy in your guilt as a people get drunk. That's what people do drugs that's why people mess with pornography. That's why people get so wrapped up in their work or something. Work is not wrong. I work my tail off and many of you will do to but it is only escape from some problems. That is a problem not here you see the result of this unconfessed sin following. Listen to Genesis 30 in verse seven, before you go there. Judah even arranges his oldest son's marriage to a girl named Taymor listen to verse seven, but air, Judah's firstborn was wicked in the sight of the Lord and the Lord killed him in all the Bible doesn't tell us what exactly what errors sin was, but ever since the days of Sodom and Gomorrah. God hadn't done that. That goes to tell you was a really bad sin. I don't believe Judah is being the dad. He's supposed to be what happens next. Well, I got you some background very quickly. According to the laws back then the culture they had something known as the levy rate marriage levirate marriage is this.

If all the brothers of the sons are living under the same roof that if the older brother dies. The second one is obligated to marry his sister-in-law and carry on the family line. Judah orders the second son own and will marry go marry her sister-in-law and to have a child own and doesn't want to do it to guess what he does, he deceives Taymor. He sleeps with her, but he deceives her and refuses to have a child with Taymor. Listen to what happens to own in verse 10, and the thing which he did displease the Lord. Therefore he killed them. Also, Judah saw his brother into slavery for good or bad intention.

Doesn't matter has unconfessed sin in his life living this dirty line this secret now carries into his marriage goes to his first son, and now to the second son, let's focus on that for just about a minute, why do you think God killed own and because he did not want to have a child with his sister-in-law is one reason that own and didn't want to have a child and didn't want to have that that relationship with the sister-in-law's because he was hoping that if she doesn't have a child and all the wealth the inheritance by default will come to him. What he didn't know what he did not know I didn't say he didn't realize what he did not know Judah did not tell him is what God had told and promised Abraham that through you through your descendents. All the families of the earth shall be blessed, refusing to have a child was interfering with the gospel. It was not just I want have a kid on me know if I just went long enough. I get all the money know you are actually interfering with the gospel, which was what Abraham, Sarah, your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren will be the ones who will carry the gospel to the ends of the earth so own and refusing to have a child was interfering and stopping God's plan. God says you gotta go.

Guess what the blood is still in whose hands Judah's hands because I believe you never took the time to sit down and talk to his boys and said boys limiting something we are especially know what I mean by special we are special because were not like anybody else.

We are called by God to take his light. The whole world. We can live like the world we have to obey God. And we have to do fatefully what he's called us to do regardless of the consequences.

I believe he never took the time to explain that to his children can ask you question this morning. As a parent, father or mother doesn't matter do you take the time to talk to your children. Do you take the time to talk to children expecting you to be a Billy Graham or some theologian or a missionary just sitting down and say you know God is good in a while we have all what we have is by the grace of God and folks you may not have children find someone else is getting talk to them. This message is not just for parents this message for all of us find someone and say something that will encourage him to walk with God, do not believe never did that and what happens the second son dies as well.

But Judah is still not learning his lesson because he continues his life of deception, according to the law that her son now has to marry Taymor and Judas thinking I don't think so.

But those boys just died.

I want to give the third one because he's got a dime to go make some dumb decision and it'll be over so guess what he does. He lies to Taymor and says he's too young want to go home back with your daddy and mom when he is old enough, I will give him to you in marriage. What he is thinking is out of sight out of mind to Mars to go back home.

Find someone over there and of story. He can move on. She can move on. What he then realizes your sins will be found out. Now Judas wife dies and he goes through a time of grieving in it when people go through grieving. It can either draw them closer to God or he can draw them away from God's action, they get angry they get better they get frustrated with God. Listen, listen, listen, sometimes even pick up an attitude of entitlement because of what's happened to me I can do whatever I want to do regardless don't care anymore, look at pornography and will look at mass and I want to have an adulterous relationship and I will do whatever because you don't understand and I have had people adult sitting in my office and they will tell me that they can't pat me on the head of figuratively and there are some that are you so you understand you don't know what I've been through, I never said such a way, I try to be more diplomatic, but I'm thinking so this happened to you that entitles you to sin. Judah is about to do something because he feels entitled to it. Was he about to do list backup for second, the word gets out to Taymor member Taymor, the daughter-in-law that Judah is coming to words to him now at the sheep shearing time and she decided to do something awful. What did she do she disguised herself as a prostitute covered her face with a veil and she sat seductively at NAM which is literally at the opening of the eyes opening of get his picture that is a crossroads. She sat at the crossroads, waiting for her father-in-law to come. Apparently she knew Judah's nature.

She wants to deceive him into coming to her as a prostitute.

The Bible doesn't say it but I believe she had probably known this about him is not his first time.

By the way, even here, I hold you responsible because of the man of the house if he had said the standard of righteousness hi, his daughter-in-law would not be stooping so low to get back with him back.

It ended just as planned.

Judah comes notices her and goes to her makes a proposition that I send you a goat cannot sleep with you and she said yeah but I need a little guarantee. I need a rating record cord like a necklace around and in a staff Judas like well here it is goes tomorrow to get the goat and I can get all my stuff back, Judah doesn't realize things are about to get complicated.

Sure enough he sleeps with her thinking she is a prostitute and the next day he sends the goat and the people come back and say snow prostitute over there. Judah's response to same old same old covered up letter have I can get another ring I get another code I can get another staff it's okay let her have it. Three months later work comes back to Judah that Taymor, his daughter-in-law is now pregnant and the reason is prostitution. What is his response. Listen to this. Bring her out and let her be bar.

He is so harsh get her out and burnt her. I want to give you a quick principle because our time is up. Principle is this what I have noticed that you may agree with me or not. I don't know. Show me a person who is very legalistic.

You know what legalism means making rules that Scripture doesn't even prescribe laterals about this data and the other show me a person who is very harsh hard against some sin and I will show you a person who is hiding is similar dirty secret in his heart yellow on talking about. Show me a person who gets angry and rages over somebody sent and they'll never share this with you more than likely they got the same thing.

The inside I'm in. He's angry with his daughter-in-law for prostitution. Guess what he is going to prostitutes.

He is going to prostitutes. The whole time. So we are gonna be really scared. From here on, to condemn, say, like I say nothing about you but here's the point. Sin is wrong and sin has to be condemn, but I believe that every time God condemns sin with it was Moses or Jesus appalled. It was always with a broken heart. Paul never said all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. I believe you probably did it all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God to get to Morris Mark as she sends those three objects to him and says hey if you can identify this, you would know who the father is to just just say Judah knows right away. He is guilty, he doesn't lie anymore. He confesses his sin not long story short, Taymor had twins and by the way, Judah never slept with her against it was not like oh it's all good now my daughter loves my wife no he never touched her again. It was never done. But Taymor had to boys. The older one was Perez and here's the beautiful thing. If you read Matthew chapter 1. The genealogy of Christ Jesus came to the line of Judah Taymor Perez all the way down to Joseph and Mary and Mary in Christ. Maeve was given the assignment to plan out the family tree of Jesus. I would make it so pure, so perfect. Definitely not a father-in-law daughter-in-law situation. Okay, that would not be considered worthy.

Every family has a secret, everybody's got a skeleton and the ones who hide it. Who shall the most of how pure they are, are the ones who really have a secret, okay, here's my challenge to you if you let God use you he will work all things together for good. Let me close with this is really sad when adults specially parents behave badly. Here are some things that you can keep in mind, I want to go rapidly through it, but if you go to my blog site the entire message word for word, all the Scripture. Everything is there seeking.

Take your time and look at it later on number one remembered that adults in your life. Parents are fallen human beings. They are sinners just like you hate is easy to condemn them and say how dare they, my dad was not there from your mom is like a listen. They are just at the end of the day there just like sinners show them grace.

Don't put them on a pedestal, but always honor them. You may not always obey them, but always honor them don't follow their example to follow their teaching you know what I found some of the most ungodly people will give you some of the most godly advice. Don't throw it out follow their teachings, not their example number one.

Remember that you are not to be blamed for your parents choices sometime kids carry that burden for the rest of their lives to feel like I am, stuck here now. I am the same rhyme to do the same.

Know you're not you live your life. You serve God you love God you not to be blamed for what they did wrong. Pray for them specially if they do not know Christ. How awesome would it be in heaven did not just say man. I made it but to say, my parents made it to, by the grace of God and trust God that he will work all things together for good. Out of this morning's message may not really apply to some of you are most of you because you grew up in good Christian homes. Maybe it does. Maybe you didn't have that father or that mother or those parents who did not live up to God's standard and still are not, pray for them this morning as we go on an invitation.

Let God. Open your eyes soften your hearts so that you can pray for them.

If you do not know Christ, yourself, your heart, thank you so much for joining us for this message stuff to know how to respond when our parents behave badly.

We gotta remember their fallen humans just like we are. Don't put them on a pedestal, don't feel or show them grace either.

Remember to pray for them, especially if they don't know Christ. For more information visit us online@clearpvc.org for this week's sermon notes check out Pastor Chasse blog that I would on shot.com