Training

Thank you for tuning into the radio ministry of community church had cleared our focus is making Christ visible providing an atmosphere, worship, community come check us out at 3485 Oxford Rd. in Henderson or visit us online activities. He.org join us for this week's message by Pastor Albert on shop. Today's method is called training. Hopefully it will answer some of those questions and help us and guide us in reaching our children the basic premises. This God has ordained parents to be the primary coaches in their children's lives. God has called us to lead our children in the way and how our children play the game of life is dependent on how we train them and hopefully today's message will encourage you not discourage you.

Please don't misunderstand the goal is not to induce more guilt on you and make you feel worse because your kids are not where they need to be. This is to help you help you pray better and I'm preaching this morning, not as an expert but as a fellow coach in the game of life you have your Bibles with you. Proverbs 22 verse six, a very familiar passage train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.

There's a right way, then there is a Wrong Way, God is telling us and giving us the problem is that if you leave them in the right way and when they are older they made leave, but they will come back, but there is a right way and a wrong way before we try to understand that. Do you know the way and the way is not a series of dues and domes this way is Jesus Christ. In John 14 Jesus said I am the way, the truth and the life this morning. Do you know the way, do you know Christ. Are you truly saved. Have you received him as your Savior before we dive into this message. There are two things I want to clarify very quickly.

The first is that some people think that Proverbs are not promises they consider Proverbs error as more like general observations, common sense tips, practical suggestions, but they are not on the same level as the rest of the Bible. I disagree. If you ever read Proverbs carefully.

You notice that repeatedly, Solomon has sprinkled the entire book with this one phrase fear of the Lord begins Proverbs 1 verse seven with the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom means there are many Proverbs in this world and some of them may even sound like the Proverbs in this book, but the reason the ones in this book have made it into the book is because God has chosen them to be in his word. There are timeless truths.

You can bank on them. You can build your life, your children, your family on these Proverbs. They are promises. The second thing I want to clarify quickly is that some people claim that the traditional understanding of Proverbs 22 six, which is if you lead them in the right way, even if they lose their waiting to come back to it.

Some people claim that that's no longer true that that's not what the Bible is really talking about not spent a lot of time studying the Hebrew in the context guess what is exactly what it says so what does it say therefore aspects in this proverb that we need to unpack the first is the child train up a child. The Hebrew word is not hard which can mean anywhere from an unborn child to a young man or young woman in this context, it's about early training which means it's more like a young child psychologist and educators are divided over what age at which a child's personality is set some claim for some claim seven.

Some claim 18. I believe the earlier the better I like in children to a sweetgum tree. Sweetgum trees are so pretty so beautiful he can line the yard with them. What happens when the start growing. They drop these things that become missiles when you use a lawnmower over there and you try to walk out on them and you slip or you you know it it's not fun. So what you do you want to come down get rid of the sweetgum trees. Have you ever tried. I have begun about a chainsaw on one and if not, go to cut your hand. The earlier the better the sooner you can begin with your children, the better are your chances to train them in the right way. We have an emphasis on children's ministry not because want to fill this charge, God fills the church because I truly believe in my mind and my heart that if you begin early with your children the chance of that. The second aspect is the way train up a child in the way the repeatedly in Proverbs that word direct is used for God's way and man's way sinful way. The first is the way of the Bible. The second is the way of the world. The first is the way that leads to blessings.

It is not problem free, but it leads to blessings. The second may not be as problematic, but it leads to destruction. Proverbs 115 my son, do not walk in the way with them, which means sinful man. Keep your foot from their path. That's the bad way.

331 do not envy the oppressor and choose none of his ways. 411 I have taught you in the way of wisdom.

I have led you in right paths. Proverbs 1029 the way of the Lord is strength for the upright.

1412 there is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death means when you put these way side-by-side. It seems like when I just use this and then you realize it's a way of destruction. Proverbs 2319 here.

My son and be wise and guide your heart in the way parents I want you to hear carefully.

You have been ordained by God to lead your children in the Right Way in God's way in the way of truth and do it early. The most parents misunderstand what this means. The misunderstand the context and the aspect of the way. What most parents think is the way, is like a pie with each slides representing a key aspect of their child's life. So there is the pile friends the Pio family of the Jesus by the Jesus slice the relationship slides the spores the education the music, the drama, the hobbies and what they think is the way it is that one slice that fits into the pile of life do all these things and make sure you don't forget Jesus now what happens typically is the other slices take over in the Jesus slice falls out.

Here's a better illustration. Faith I believe is more like the Joe of the pie, which then gets divided into others aspects of life. So the faith is the heart of the person and then from there.

There is music in athletics and education in relationships and career and all the rest. Your child is not a good student, a good athlete, a good musicians and a good friend and yes, a good Christian. The better way is your child is a Christian who also happens to be a good student, a good athlete. A good musician. All the rest. It's a lifestyle. It's a way you cannot say I'm on the way but now I'm in a different way and that I would be a different way, and the women I can go back on the way for a little bit. You are walking on the way and there are stops that you make athletics, music, friends, relationships, career, drama, whatever it is, but you have to be walking on the way. It is a lifestyle. It's a mindset it's a worldview and what you have to do with your children is to immerse them in the way the part aspect is training the Hebrew word is Conoco which is actually a rare word found only four times in the Old Testament that were cut oak actually means dedication like you dedicate a building you dedicate a building like a house to live.

You dedicate a temple to worship you dedicate an altar to sacrifice so also the dedicated child to walk in the way. But unlike a building that has to be dedicated only once the building is an inanimate object. It doesn't have a life of its own child has a will is a mind has friends has pure pressure building doesn't have peer pressure but a child has to be dedicated daily to walk in that way, which is another word of training you train them of the Bible. Thank goodness tells us how to train our children in Deuteronomy chapter 6 and verse six. I want you to hear that verse very carefully and that I want to draw some inferences from that passage.

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart talking to the parents. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them and use in your house when you walk by the way, when you lie down when you rise up. Here are some points this training. This daily dedication is not a one time event is a 24 seven job you cannot train if you're always gone. Now that's tough for families who have loved ones in service is hard for families where for business sake, you have to travel it is what it is but I believe were living in 2018 with.

There are many ways to connect back with our children. Many years ago, when our church was very small. Some of you may remember that I should do a lot of traveling because the church was small, he wasn't growing so I said, Lord, I want to stay here. This is my home-based, I'm not leaving this Georgia told the church family. The same thing that I need to go and preach here and preach theirs. I was doing revivals all the time I was going here they're everywhere doing conferences, seminars, and what I noticed in the processes that I was losing a grip on the family and I told God is a God. I don't care about any of this. I want to finish well with my children and got said that he cannot travel like you doing right now and thank goodness I made that decision I was tough on families where someone has to travel but listen there ways that you can still be connected with your children. It's a 24 seven job is number two training is not accidental but intentional means you have to seek every opportunity to teach them. You have look for opportunity to talk to them about the faith and the best opportunity would you like to know is where around the dinner table training is not authoritarian but empathetic, which means this. You cannot sit back like my daddy did. It is not about how your daddy did and now it's your turn to do it the right way is not my way or the highway is not your better or else there ways that you understand where your children are coming from. That's not compromising understand the culture and the context in which your children are living be empathetic. Would you agree with me this morning that it is tougher for children for young people today than it was when we were growing up on old air conditioner is not about the air conditioner in the cars in the fridge is about temptation.

Would you agree the temptations are much harder and much tougher than it used to be, these young kids are being bombarded all you had to go to the store to buy pornography. Now it is on at your fingertips and these kids are at an early age being bombarded by these images, understand where they're coming from behind about it to something else. Training is not irrational but logical means also known as dumb questions you have to explain to you why we don't do that to you why you shouldn't do this limited why you should wait training is not cherry picking but also balance which means is not just giving them your favorite passages don't just tell them if you do this.

This is bad going to happen. How but also teaching them the grace of God, the forgiveness of God the mercy of God, the love of God, the compassion of God.

Give them the whole counsel of God. Training is not harsh but is firm is firm, which means this, there has to be age appropriate discipline. There is an age where you will spank your ticket is a wall, don't do that okay God bless you some days your kid will turn out worse than the terrorist and Isis and some parents can have a deal with some some some spouses not deal with it some employer will have to deal with it some teacher and educator will have to deal with it. There comes an age at time when there's a transition you don't do those methods when they grow up the loose privileges you take away things and it's tough, but you have to because that's part of training. What happens basketball coaches when the kids don't do is run the lapse, so also in life. There are consequences.

Training is not disheartening but it is patient means there times you will tell your kids and tell him again and is still going to that stupid thing, whatever it is, go faster. I don't know what to do and often asked him did you tell him yeah we did with him again and tell him again and tell him again and tell them again. And here's the last one very important training is not just taught but is also caught you heard that phrase before is not just what you are telling them. Are you modeling it with your life not do as I say not as I do you have to show them by your lifestyle that you are doing what you are telling them and expecting them to do.

You have to eat crow. Many times you hundred pounds.

I walked into my kids bedroom, daughters and sons knocked on the door and say listen just want tell you before you go to sleep. I'm sorry I snow lost my temper. I'm sorry. I should not of been I'm sorry this a listen you have to model it for them is not enough to say we all go to church.

You have to go to church you have to receive Christ as your Savior as well. So here's the question. Based on this starting early with your children training them in the way you know the way it is a lifestyle is not just a way part of the time you have to be walking on it and then training which is a 24 seven. Intentional, empathetic, logical, balanced firm, patient and mottled, how are you training your children and he is the fourth last one. The promise if you do this, there is a promise and when the child is old he or she will not depart from it. Now comes the tough question, why do some children depart from it and don't come back. Why do some children even though their parents have led them in the right way to go off the deep end and do all the things they do and they are doing and living that way when they know better. Why does it happen.

Doesn't this verse apply there's a lot of misunderstanding that I want to clear up today. There are two kinds of departing the first is losing the way the second is rebelling against your way. Losing the way it is about pushing the limits losing the way has to do with peer pressure losing the way has to do with experimenting a bit blessed with it's very secretive about the behavior and rebelling against the way it's filled with anger is filled with hate, it's filled with bitterness is filled with pain. The source of losing the way it are the lures of the world.

The source is freedom. The source is the wrong crowd about rebelling the sources you already hypocrisy the sources legalism the sources harshness and what hypocrisy is, we just talked about. Do as I say not as I do boys your fiber. Catch you doing this and that and if you have a stash of pornography. You have it on your phones could see it then know the sites you've been looking through you then know the images that have been coming up this see you in church praising the Lord. Teaching Sunday school doing all the stuff and yet on the back. This see how your eyes dart when you see a pretty woman.

If you ever treat a woman like that and if you talk to your wife like she's a dirt is called hypocrisy. You better stay in church, you better be quiet in charge. If I see you must slap your face and you get home and you talk about how bad the preacher was and how about the Sunday school teacher is and how you know more about them and who they are and what they do on the side and how they are Monday morning legalism which is all about rules that you have picked up from someone somewhere and you are imposing on your children without any regard to the whole counsel of God in my house. This is a rule in my house that's the rulers and what they're getting is legalism which is a natural born killer just as bad as liberalism and they say to themselves. When I ever get out of this house never going to church. Losing the weight is I get to do all these things rebelling is I hate my home. I hate my parents.

I hate church. I hate authority. What is the attitude towards parents church and authority the attitude and losing the way, is one of shame, conviction, avoidance the attitude under rebelling his disrespect, anger, belligerence, I fell in the first category I lost my way.

I remote I was 16 years of age. Parents bought me motorcycle and man. Life was so great freedom doing this than the other doing crazy stuff and asked me what the greatest of this is not your business out of this one day he was in the late afternoon and we heard this commotion. If you some kids have been to our house. They know were living like right on Dabney Drive kind of situation where our house churches on the main one of the main roads and be hard as big commotion. So we ran outside. My dad worked out the first and this man apparently had a sugar tackle whatever it is and he went into a shop he slipped, fell off his motorcycle and the motorcycle went under a car and it just you know tour of the car.

Whatever it was a big crowd beginning to gather my dad ran outside our right of center gate and he saw the man and he knew him, so he me to try to help them of the man in the car came out. He's a dull moment because it's his motorcycle that hit my car not my car. The motorcycles are leaving where this by allowing the police to see this. My dad said no you cannot leave the man. He is going to shock, he needs help and he began to try to help me. I don't even and the next thing you know, the man comes out of his car, trying to push my dad off and the moment he reached out to push my dad off my my hand turn into a fist. I have no idea how it happened and I reach back and hit him so hard he reeled back to people were shot of the guys socks and my dad. My dad looked at me and he went back to helping when we the dust settled we went back in the house. My dad walked up to my mom with a little bit of pride in his heart he said guess what just happened.

And then he proceeded to tell my mom about how I got upset because this man put his hand on my dad keep in mind the night before. We had a real knockdown drag out argument over what I was doing, but my losing the way had nothing do with my parents. I love my parents, I respected them when it comes to the other side there is hatred, anger, belligerence against the parents in the Bible. Let me tell you very quickly. Our time is short. There is a there is a dad who didn't do some things right. One of his sons was Solomon and the other son was Absalom Solomon came from David's adulterous relationship with Bathsheba and he killed off his her husband Uriah the newborn had to die and then Solomon was born through Bathsheba and David would have been the Solomon who became the wisest man he became a great king, but he messed up a thousand wives and concubines.

God was displeased with him.

He lost his way.

He never rebelled against his father not go back to Absalom what happened Absalom.

Absalom was with her son from his wife David's wife Marco and Absalom killed off his brother Amnon because his brother Amnon had raved his sister. All three of them.

David's sons and daughter, Absalom hated his father David because David did not do anything when his son had raved his daughter was the difference between Solomon and Absalom.

The difference was some 51 that's David Psalm of repentance for Psalm 51 he says after Bathsheba had an and David has sent and Nathan confronted him. He says God gives you. You only have I sinned wash me thoroughly and cleanse me so that the bones you have broken may rejoice. There is David Psalm of repentance. There is no Psalm of repentance when it comes to Absalom same dad, two sons, 1 Lost His Way and one horribly rebelled against his father. What is the promise when it comes to losing the way the promises they'll be back. Hang on to the promise of God there coming back about rebelling against the way, chances are very low because of their impression of the way, what they saw.

Did want to come back to. There's another group there, neither losing the way, neither are the rebelling against the way they're just confused about the way, what is that mean it means this where you were spiritually when you were raising them is not where you are spiritually today.

You raise them with a dash of Christianity a little bit of Christianity ritualistic traditional dead Christianity. Maybe the church was alive, but you didn't care, maybe the church was dead, and that's all they got. And now guess what happened. Parents you grew up and you got right with God, and now you are walking with Jesus Christ you're grounded in the word you living by the Spirit you your faith is alive and your children are looking at you going what happened that they haven't lost away rebelling there just confused going something change in mom and dad become fanatics. So how do you deal with these three groups. The first one losing the way show love and forgiveness. Be patient with them. Pray for them and have the solid hope there.

Coming back about rebelling against the way you need to ask God's forgiveness. I wasn't my fault that's got a church I went to. It doesn't matter as God's forgiveness and then listen if you're ready for this, ask your children's forgiveness and pray that they will find the way they need to get saved about the one who are confused about the new way. Don't be impatient with them. Don't judge them understand their confusion. Pray for them. Share your life with them explained to them the reason why you are where you are and pray that God will open their eyes to questions. Do you know the way and the way is not just Proverbs the way is Jesus Christ. John 14 six Jesus said I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.

If you do not know the way.

Today you need to give your life to Jesus Christ. Number two. Have you lost your way when you lose your way. He doesn't say well you made your bed. I got a lion in his thank you so much for joining us for this message. Raising children is difficult, but the Bible promises us that if we train them to love the Lord as they grow even if they lose their way will always return to him for more information visit us online@clearviewb.org for this sermon's notes.

Check out Pastor Shaw's blog@allbutonshop.com