A Practical Guide for Praying Parents-Dr. Erwin Lutzer

Do you need help praying for your children hear a practical guide for praying parents today on Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, would you look at future trials and you have all heard on the law of God a lot of time to answer your prayers might not be answered is what she welcomed the relationship. Gary Chapman, author of the New York Times bestseller the five love today Dr. my biblical approach to prayer that will. His latest book is our featured resource website languages.com.

This will be such a shot in the arm mom grandpa frustrated with their ability to consistently praying for her daughter friends.

Featured resource is a practical guide for praying parents. Five love languages.com Gary is a pastor counselor. Can you tell the difference when parents pray for their children is not always was able to observe answered prayers always know what to praying for you want to do here, most often at weddings out here parents say a been praying for that guy as long as a child (for the other praying for the spouse of their child gets great but I think personally for me dislike about the impact of my parents prayers for me or my day had worked in a textile mill on the third shift from 11 o'clock at night to seven in the morning so when I was getting ready to go to school. He was getting ready to go to bed the morning, but he would always kneel by his bed. That was his stance when the parade and sometimes I would hear him call my name is pretty prayed out loud and I would hear him call my name to your mom and dad prayed for me all through my journey so you believe in praying for your kids and am excited about our conversation because I think parents are going to find some practical ideas to help them really be effective in their prayers. I am excited as well because we are joined by pastor emeritus of the Moody Church. Dr. Irwin lutes are you here him on running to win the Moody church our songs in the night, prolific and award-winning author of dozens of books including rescuing the gospel one minute after you die when a nation forgets God. The church in Babylon, and many others featured resource today is a practical guide for praying parents find out more at 5lovelanguages.com literature. Welcome back to Building Relationships with you today. I will get right to really sometimes a hard subject and that is think about prayer and how it works. I think many times Christians are struggling with this issue. If God knows everything and if he is a sovereign plan you at work. Then why does he want us to pray. Prayer fit into that well you know you a very interesting theological question, but isn't this interesting. Gary that when Jesus was giving instruction as to how to pray. He said these words he said don't use repetition like that he didn't do because your father already knows what you need. This is the way you pray and then he leads into the Lord's prayer. Give us this day our daily bread, etc. so Jesus recognize that tension, but he certainly didn't say you know don't pray because your father already knows and the best we can do in terms of a quick answer is to say that prayer is one of the ways that God uses to accomplish everything that he knows to accomplish his will and you see this throughout the Scriptures. You see, that the apostle Paul talks about all that we have in Jesus Christ. In the opening part of the book of Ephesians and then he says for these reasons, I bowed the knee and then he basically prays that God has promised is going to be fulfilled will of course it's going to be filled but he prays that it will be an effective prayer therefore is really in many respects, echoing back to God's will and that's why it's so important for us to pray Scriptures will be talking about today so let's not let the fact that God knows everything that is planned everything.

Let's not fall into fatalism and not pray. The fact is that we live with attention that we have a sovereign God, but we also have human responsibility and throughout the Scriptures, God led people to pray and we should be open to that to even if we can't resolve all the attention is prayer is absolutely essential. It is the work that God does in our heart to accomplish his will hear you saying that very much like teaching and preaching that prayer is a method that God uses to accomplish his will. Exactly. And as we prayed together. You know, in terms of the sovereignty of God means that God uses. Let me get this illustration.

God knows the exact day that I'm gonna die, so does that mean that I stand on a tall building and jump off them say well it doesn't matter what I do because God knows what I'm gonna die no way he keeps me alive until that date is by giving me enough brains to know that jumping off a building is a very bad idea. So all that we can say is that the and that got accomplish and that means all woven together and one of the means mentioned in Scripture repeatedly and examples given. One of the means is prayer. So many parents pray for their children. I think others maybe not so much. Maybe where a parent is listening today. Looking back, and so you will pray for my kids very much when they're growing up and I don't know what to say to that parent as it is it too late to start praying at any juncture, all the good news Gary.

The answer is no impact will tell you exactly when you should begin having been praying for your parents and that is today immediately after you listen to this program, you can begin to pray as we shall explain pray something different.

Pray Scripture and not just save the same old thing in the same old way about you and your own personal life. Did you struggle with praying for your children or did it come rather naturally for you while in some sense, it came naturally, but I was brought up in a Christian home where my parents prayed every day. We had morning devotions before breakfast and I don't know if we missed once or twice a year. That would've been unusual. They read the Bible in German. We prayed in English. But here's the point. God bless them. I believe that my ministry today is still the result of their prayers, they will talk about that later, but they did essentially pray the same thing. I can still hear them in German praying that will be kept from evil that we might love God, that we might say no to temptation. So when I got married and we had children. I tended to follow that pattern. You know, God bless them keep them. Help them to love you.

Help them to do well in school.

Protect them physically, but you know after a while you say the same thing in the same old way and you kind of lose your enthusiasm for prayer and I guess I shouldn't say this on the radio but it can actually become somewhat boring because as I mentioned, you are saying the same thing in the same old way so that's why the book that I've written. I feel so deeply about.

And I know that I'm not the first one to say this, there are all kinds of books out there. I suppose on this topic.

But how do you give people a practical guide for praying parents will you excite them because what you are going to pray Scripture is going to be different every time I think that's one of the positive things about this book.

It is practical, so you take an interesting approach in the book. In addition to praying Scripture with them. Talk about that more later, but you decided on the idea of choosing a different topic each day of the week tells little bit about that.

Well, what I do is we have eight grandchildren and so I pray for one every day. Saturday I prefer to and usually I choose a passage of Scripture to begin the week and I will pray that Scripture right now because recently I read the 53rd chapter of the book of Isaiah works is come to the water and you know without money and without price, it is all free minutes is why are you giving your life on that which is empty and your labor on that which doesn't satisfy so I look at that and I say you know what I'm going to do this week I'm going to pray that my children will understand that the world despite all of its allure, but the world can't keep its promises and all of its wells are dry, so I'm going to pray that God will and that course you can use other passages, you know, first John were talks about if you love the world you're an enemy of God. So why not this week.

Pray against worldliness and that the children will understand that God is satisfying so that's a different prayer previously. Last week I was praying.

Based on my reading of Ecclesiastes that they might fear the Lord and keep his commandments.

So what you do is read a passage of Scripture you look at it and then you say is this a passage that can be prayed now. Sometimes that may not work but as you read your Bible every day. It's amazing how you come across passages of Scripture that obviously can be turned into prayers so you pray for different brands every day and two on Saturday but using the same Scripture for each one of them for that week. Oftentimes I do. Yes, I find the Scripture and say this week. This is going to be the first. But here's the advantage Gary. The reason I pray for a different one every day is that prayer becomes applicable to each grandchild differently they are in different ages. They are different substations of life. So you adapt the prayer in accordance with their other needs. So this isn't as if this is the only thing that you prayed, but it's sort of the centripetal force that gives your prayer some guidance and some direction but then you be sure to pray also for other needs that they have been for that each grandchild is different.looks a grandparent your grandparents other things. I hear the grandparent saying to me you know my children are taking my grandchildren the church.

They are reading the Bible to them. This greatly disturbs me.

How should a grandparent in that situation be praying.

Well you know in the book.

What I do is I talk about the fact that we should pray first of all for ourselves. It's so critical that we recognize that often times children aren't walking with God because the parents aren't. That's a different subject, but I would say this what you have to pray for those children is a change of heart or if they are walking in disobedience. You can also pray and I discussed both of these ideas plus a couple of others.

Let's then run its course. Let's become bitter so that grace may become sweet. The simple fact is that when you look at the Scripture. The key idea has to do with the human heart.

The heart is the place where people make up their minds. Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life. So always we have to ask you know, getting back to my parents.

Here's another prayer that used to pray for us regularly that we would have a hunger and thirst for righteousness, that there might be something changed within us that changes our desires. So if you're living with them or you have grandchildren, but are not walking with God.

That's the way to pray. Pray that they'll have a different appetite that they will find out that the world as I've mentioned earlier can't keep its promises and what you always want to do is to make sure that it is a change of heart. But even before that, maybe you have to pray that you yourself are changed, you know somewhere here. I need to tell the story here at Moody Church in a number of years ago on Wednesday evening and this was for Wednesday evening prayer for a whole month we had pops pops is praying for particles prodigal parents also. But the point is parents of particles. They're the ones that came to pray. I think I finally got it right. But here's the thing. I was so surprised number one we doubled our attendance, but number two. I was so surprised at the number of people who have prodigal children and when a person stood up and talked about their child. I had their permission, I would interview them because what I was interested in is why did this child go straight now. Sometimes there are no reasons that we can really determine. Sometimes children from good homes go astray, but I was surprised at the number of times we were able to identify what it is that turn those children off to God so that they walked away. So sometimes it is not necessary all the time to only pray for the child.

We have to pray for the parents, and maybe there has to be restoration and forgiveness because that's all part of the whole scenario so so the parents is a prodigal son or daughter is now grown and married and has a child there might be a place for the grandparent to go to their child and apologize, perhaps, for their part in what brought them to where they are is that fit in with what you're saying absolutely. I give the illustration true one of the course of a man who is sitting in the back of an auditorium and 200 men were on their knees confessing their sins. And he took his fist and put it in his hand and said God you'll never get me now why would a Christian say that well. He had five sons and a very hot temper, and he had discipline the children overcorrected them. No doubt, oftentimes inconsistently, and all the rest and he knew that if God got him he was going to have to go to every child individually and after forgiveness and the reason that we know God got him is because he gave testimony and in the presence of his children, he humbled himself, ask their forgiveness. And that became a bridge of them into their lives whereby he could have some input again and where he was able to direct them. I'm not sure exactly long-term how it all turned out, but it gave a new beginning.

In terms of their relationship and also therefore opened up a brand-new relationship for the children to have with God.

So oftentimes what parents have to do is to look within and say Lord change me.

What is my contribution to my child's rebellion. I think that's often the case.

Looks like another scenario.

Here is a parent whose spouse is not a believer in Christ, and now they're reading this book of the spouse is there reading the book the spouse is not reading the book what you say to them in terms of praying for their children and perhaps her spouse as well. Well, again, what it has to be is you have to recognize some critical parents so critical for wives whose husbands may be unbelievers or maybe the other way around.

You have to get over the idea that you can change their hearts to the heart of man cannot be persuaded easily.

It was Churchill who said the desire to believe something is much greater than rational argument so you can argue with that. You can explain to them you can warn them about all the consequences of the simple fact is the heart does what the heart wants to do so.

Always you have to recognize that God is the great heart changer. You can't change them.

But God can. And there's no use trying to preach little sermons you know little reminders of this matter, but sometimes just irritates the unbeliever practice you live the Christian life and you keep committing them to God and praying that their hearts will be changed. No matter what passage of Scripture you use it always boils down to a change of desires so that parent know they don't have the support of their spouse can certainly still utilize everything you're saying in this book and praying for their children. Even though there spouse is not joining them in those prayers all absolutely absolutely what I do is in this book I talk about product." Quite extensively.

I even talk about the woman. The Canaanite woman who had a child was demonized. My desire is that all of us might learn to pray and to pray in a way that honors God that this also was in the book is just a couple of paragraphs but when I get out of bed in the morning before I do, I pray a prayer. I did this morning all, God glorify yourself in my life today at my expense. I now I've added a verse I mentioned this in the book of Isaiah chapter 60 verse one arise shine for thy light has come in the glory of the Lord is upon me. So what we want to do is to develop really people who worship God who trusted God who pray very naturally but who understand that there is some things we can do and there's some things that only God can do, and that at some point Gary you might be asking me about another thing that I think is important to pray especially if you have a wayward child is. Let's then run its course. They send become bitter until grades become sweet talk about how the prodigal son came to himself in the pigsty and how important it is for people to recognize that sometimes being jailed. I could tell you stories about that how that as children are in sin and difficulty. That is the wake-up call that they have to turn to the Lord. So you have to leave it to God as to how he wants to do it, but at the end of the day always has to do with praying for their part change.

Recognizing that you can change it. Only God can.

Another topic to discuss in the book Dr. Luther is the whole matter of praying for her country and were hearing a lot of talk about that today everybody say to pray for our country.

Pray for our country. I think we all sense that we need to be praying for our country. But what what suggestions do you have in terms of praying for a country well you know in this book I referred to the prayer of Daniel. So let me talk about that for just a moment. I think when it comes to praying for our country. It is so critical that we understand that God's message to us is one of repentance and Daniel did that he repented for his own sins even repented for the sins of his father's. He goes on to talk about the fact that we have sinned collectively, that did not negate the fact that he had sinned individually as well. But what we need to do is to pray for us spiritually and not just physically, you know it's interesting as a result of the covert crisis I've been involved now in many prayer meetings virtual prayer meetings with zoom and so forth. And that's all wonderful. But isn't it interesting that spiritually the church can be weak, there can be leaven among us. There can be all kinds of worldliness and worldly values and for some reason were not desperate to pray but let God touch our bodies. Let the possibility of folded lumen our minds and suddenly everybody is saying or what we need to do is to pray, we need to pray, we need to pray for protection. We need to pray for this and that and all those things are good to pray. I want to be misunderstood, but at the end of the day. It is always the spiritual issues in our lives that God is most concerned about, but these are ways that God is getting our attention is getting her attention through coalbed through all kinds of issues regarding riots in our country and that we should be calling all God, not just to clean things up to clean up. It is always his people that stand in great need some personal prayer I'm hearing you say probably ought to begin with Florida court needs to be things in my life where I need to confess well what do I need to be doing and thinking differently if we start there. Then God leads us to intercede on behalf of others. Absolutely I think that you know there's nothing that is as important in our relationship to God that I clean heart, we come before God being cleansed and then we enter into his presence for the benefit of others for the benefit of ourselves and we always recognize that we stand in need, and this keeps us humble. We stand in need because of that, others stand in need, and we stand in for them in the book. There's a section on you have to determine that Satan will not have your child and that I use the Canaanite woman as an illustration of a woman who overcame all kinds of obstacles but would not let go until she experienced the healing from Jesus that she thought talk later in the book to talk a bit about fasting as well which is a question I think that many Christians have concerned about is something we should do shouldn't do, how you do it. What is the importance of fasting to speak a few words about that to what you say. The importance of it.

Why is it important, and we do it so there's a regular thing or to do it only when there's a river in a crisis or what he said about fasting OF the last part of your question. First, I think to some extent, it's a matter of conscience and it's a matter of disposition. In other words, I would like to say that I don't know that there's a one formula that that's all I know many people past say every Monday. That's wonderful.

I don't do that.

I do pass several times during the year, but I don't fast every Monday so there has to be some leeway here, but we need to understand that fasting is a full body response to God.

I think it is many dangers know in the Old Testament, God was very upset with their fasting because they used fasting is kind of an excuse to cover their sin. All I can do this over here.

I can rob the widows from their rightful inheritance, but I'm fasting and been thinking that somehow there was merit in the fact that they were fasting. Well, there isn't, but there are times of desperation. There are times I and certainly we see this in Old Testament many many times where people said I'm so desperate before God that I am willing to forgo food now. Fasting has many wonderful physical benefits but in the Scriptures, it almost always has spiritual benefit where they say I'm so desperate before God, I am going to fast and I'm going to hold onto God through my fasting, so to speak, and I'm going to insist that he answer now, I don't think that we can always insist that God answers prayers impact. There are many children that are pray for, and perhaps those prayers aren't answered but at the same time.

Fasting is a time of desperation and our desire for God should even be desire a greater desire than our desire to eat here at the Moody church where I was pastor for many years we would have a day of prayer and fasting. I think about three times a year and what we would do is to help people to understand what fasting is why we do it and then we have a big prayer meeting on Wednesday evening when we all gathered together, and there was a wonderful response on the part of people and we also told them that if you can't come to the church. You can fast on your own.

But what we need to do at times is just as fasting cleanses the body.

There are times when we have to have our soul cleansed and so I think that fasting is appropriate if it's done for the right reasons think is a lot of misunderstanding, but I think what you're saying is that it really is a revelation of our own hearts and where we are in our relationship with God. But let's move to this whole area of spiritual warfare you discuss this in the book and how Satan desires to destroy our families so defined spiritual warfare and why is this so important to understand what when the apostle Paul mentioned that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers, against spiritual forces. He actually meant it so often times what we do is we think in terms of the individual. You know my son is into drugs or my son is doing the series doing that we look at that and we feel so hopeless. What we need to do is to recognize a couple of things. First of all there's no doubt that demonic spirits are involved. As a matter of fact, Ananias and Sophia Ira lied and lo and behold they were struck down by God and your member, Peter says, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit. So what does the devil want to do. He wants to put thoughts into our minds, which we think are our own so that we don't hear those thoughts. You know when Ananias and Sophia Rob were there and having breakfast together and deciding that they were going to be somewhat deceptive saying that they are that they sold the land for a certain amount in implying that they were giving the entire amount to the church when they weren't. They didn't know that Satan had put these ideas into their minds. Now, if Satan were to come to us in all of his fury and say I'm here to put these ideas into your minds to lie to cheat and to commit adultery. We'd be terrified but it happened so surreptitiously that we don't even know what's happening and we think those thoughts are ours.

So when we pray we really do have to pray against Satan and the you know the apostle Paul of course talked about the fact that we need to pray that the eyes of the heart, the enlightened and so forth.

He talks in second Corinthians about the fact that the God of this world has blinded the minds of those who believe not. So we have to minister and pray. In light of spiritual warfare. Now Gary, as you know in the book. The best illustration of all this I think is the woman of the Cana.

She knows that Jesus is coming, so she goes out of the house. Now this is in prayer and dislike this is not in Israel per se. She's a Gentile. She goes out and lo and behold, Jesus is there and she says my child. My daughter has a demon and she went through various barriers to insist that Jesus healed her child.

This is an amazing story. I mean one thing. She broke the cultural barrier. Women didn't go out to see a group of 13 men, 13 Jewish men coming, she broke a religious barrier. She was brought up in close to Bill Beck where I've been in Lebanon where they had the worship of bail. That was her religion. She didn't let that deter what she is single mother. We don't know where the father was maybe even his dad. Maybe he was out in the field, but the point is all Gary this is so important for all the single mothers were listening. The point is this, she was doing what really her husband should've been doing, namely, interceding on the basis of her child. Taking that responsibility she was doing math and their single mothers out there you have to take the responsibility of the father.

She did the disciples said shut her up because she's irritating Jesus was silent. Now wait a moment I'm going to ask to be hobos were listening this question. Does the silence of God discourage you from prayer. She recognized that the silence of Jesus didn't necessarily mean the indifference of Jesus and then Jesus throws her. This curveball back there liberals who say but Jesus that is liberal theologians who say that Jesus was a racist. It is not good to take you know the food that is meant for the children at the throat to the dogs while the average person would of given up on that point and said look at that's the way you feel. I'm outta here now. Was Jesus a racist note for one thing, he uses the word dog puppy instead of the word dog, which was used for scavenger dogs. But secondly there's no doubt that Jesus went there and made that trip, especially for her. He was plotting mercy and then she said this, and this touches my heart very deeply. She says, in effect, don't take anything that belongs to the children, the Jews make sure that they are totally fed.

Just give me some crumbs that they won't miss you going to do with a woman like that.

Jesus said all woman great is your faith to you as you wish.

The Bible says she went back to her child was healed. Here's a woman who simply would not take no for an answer.

And today she shouts to us 2000 years later. Don't let Satan have your child don't give up even in the face of all the barriers that you have in your prayer life chocolates. Are you talking the book about people who maybe have not read the Scriptures very much. Maybe they're young believers or maybe they've just been in oxidizer: the relationship with God. And so we're talking about in this book is talking about them reading Scripture and praising Scripture for their children and for others as well. Of course, but I don't how to get started, let's start to know what would you say to them, just in terms of suggestion of where you start if you really like to engage yourself in sincere prayer for your children.

Well, if you're not used to praying Scripture. How about beginning with Psalm 23 and praying it in the thing Lord I thank you that you are my shepherd, I thank you that you lead me beside still waters.

You lead me in the path of righteousness. And so what I'm doing is I'm praying this back to you but I'm accepting the Psalm for myself, but I'm praying it back to you and then what you can do and you know Gary you asked me to be very basic here. So what I'm trying to do is begin to pray Psalm 23 for your children.

You know, I pray that the Lord that they would be your sheep that you would be able to guide them, grant them the faith to believe that when they walk through their deep valleys that you'll be with them. So it's not difficult.

This is not something that you need to go to seminary or Bible school to do what you do is you take even the most familiar passages of Scripture and you turn them into praising you turn them into prayer and in this way, you can begin a prayer life and that is you begin to read the Bible you come across passages and they are just there for you and you begin to say okay now I understand that I can pray this prayer back to God and so it becomes a relationship with God that is scriptural based is not as if you don't ask God for other requests you know about that, of course, also happens but the basic prayer is one that you have derived from the Scripture. And so I say to the person out there feels a little bit intimidated, saying, how will I do this it can be done very simply and after some 23 you choose another passage you think it's very interesting that once you begin this journey of praying Scriptures, it becomes easier and easier.

But the subjects are changing and you're not doing what you suggested earlier in the program to saying the same things to God every day every day every day, but the Scriptures are leading you two important things to really be praying for exactly and in the book. As you know Gary I actually give prayers I have seven or eight prayers one prayer for every day of the week and then I give another prayer. But here's the point.

These prayers are examples and parents can begin to pray those prayers that are basically written out for them based on Scripture and it is not as if they pray the same prayer all the time every Monday. I pray this every Tuesday. I pray the same prayer, but what it does is it gives them a basis upon which they understand as to how it's done. So then they can go off on their own and in the book. I also give some very cool at least very powerful illustrations of how God answered the prayers of parents who continue to pray whose children were totally rebellious on drugs immoral and how God brought them back and I would say to the person out there who's discouraged, very important. Look be on your child to God all that you look at is your child and you have all this discouragement because the way in which their acting or doing, look be on them to God that your focus is God's promises and so you aren't discouraged. Well of course you are discouraged but your discouragement does not deter you from continuing to press toward the Lord, and you just keep believing him even in the face of those kinds of discouragements's close as we get near the end of our time together is anything else you like to say to parents or grandparents about praying for their children the importance of that, you know, I want to use my own mother to answer the question at their 70th anniversary. Now my parents lived and had 77 years together, but at the 70th. I was sitting beside my mother and I said mother. You know the names of all of your grandchildren and great-grandchildren. All these kids were running around and she waved her hand and she said oh yes I have a prayer list that I mention them to God every day when she died.

We discovered her prayer list. Dozens of people every child every grandchild, every great-grandchild, and some missionaries and you know I attribute my ministry today to the prayers of my mother and father. My father was 100 years old Rebecca suggestion, I knelt before him and got a blessing.

He put his hand on my head and prayed an awesome prayer and I want to say to the parent out there that's discouraged. God may take a lot of time to answer your prayers might not be answered as quickly as you would like, but keep praying when we pray for particles here at Moody church.

We didn't see a lot of answers immediately, but months and even years later people told me about how God answered our prayers so keep praying and don't be discouraged. That's a good word as we close the program salute or would you just pray for the parents or listen today to this guy would work in their heart, and use this as an encouraging time for them. Father, we want to pray for ourselves as parents and grandparents and we ask that you will burn in such a desire for you, that we might begin to pray and help us to have the confidence to pray your word on behalf of others fully reading your word that the effective prayer of a righteous man doesn't fail much. A righteous man or woman and we don't understand all the interaction between your sovereignty and answered prayer, but we will come before you persistently with face even with doubt, but we will come and we will intercede for our children and our grandchildren will God grant us the faith to not look at them, but to look at you and persist until the end for your glory in Jesus name, ma'am� Thanks for being with us today and thanks for taking the time to put this book together.

I think it's going to be helpful to any parent or grandparent who has an interest in having this ministry in the life of the child or their grandchild Thanksgiving with us today. Thank you. With all the important things. Dr. Luther is written about through the years. The weighty issues. This may be the most important thing that he is ever done in a real help to you. If you been encouraged by the conversation from the website. Five love languages.com find a featured resource practical guide praying parents begin@ 5lovelanguages.com next week if your husband is addicted to pornography. Don't miss our conversation you hear how to fight for love. Take your marriage an important discussion. Thank you. Today Janice Todd building relationship with Dr. Gary Chapman's leading radios, gazing with Moody publishers ministry