When Shame Becomes Grace [Part 2]

Pastor author and Bible teacher Alan Wright is only one answer to that idea that I have to run after the rabbit of acceptance and that is to discover that through Jesus Christ, you are forever lost and forever except excited for you to hear the teaching today. In the series for yourself yourself. I will make sure you know how to get our special resource right now could be yours for your donation this month to Helen Wright ministries as you listen to today's message go deeper as we send you today's special offer. Contact us at pastoralan.org or call 877-544-4860 that's 877-544-4860.

More on that later in the program. Now let's get started with today's teaching here. Alan writing a lot of us in life. What were Chiasson is not not a fake furry rabbit were Chiasson after acceptance or chasing after love. Here's what happens.

I think somebody in your life will find out whether you will run harder if they'll withhold acceptance so often times parents and teachers and coaches and authorities and sadly preachers realize that because people were designed and made for love. We were made needing love and acceptance. We have found that because that's the thing we want more than anything else in all of life people find that out that if they'll withhold love and acceptance that you will do almost anything to try to get thought about my own life, especially in our earlier days were without realizing it inwardly tired and overly anxious, but I minute I want to get there, have enough success, the gum will find enough approval, do I will do enough of what people want me to do. The problem with this is that the law of Byatt theory definition is not something that is a reward for running fast love, by its very definition God's love is something that is absolutely unmerited.

It has nothing to do with how much you've run how far you run, how fast you run, the problem becomes if we become like a Greyhound Chiasson after the elusive rabbit called acceptance. What happens when you realize and finally admit to yourself I can't catch that rabbit no matter how hard I try. It's never enough. What happens is that sometimes when a person gets to that point, you realize I have done everything that I know to do. I have tried and I tried and I tried, I still don't feel accepted, and in fact what grace is sharing was feel like now I'm the ultimate failure and at least in Grace's situation, and in many others can identify with this is it is that that employee. We tried all that you can do.

I'm going to me of how I'm going to catch that rabbit I'm going to do what it takes to be a good little boy be a good little girl to make sure that people are proud of me and I'm accepted to be loved and then the rabbit gets moved further and finally, at some point that dog any person down exhausted and say I give up somebody can come along along the way and say I'm sick of running after this. This is never going to work. This is this is that this really is a one-way contracting job and they just jump off it sounds good do things not only care about anybody else is reversing an earlier session, how it is so possible that the same root of shame can lead us to either towards perfectionism or can lead us down the road towards rebellion but is the same kind of sin, process unfortunately it it is in our in our own families where we first encounter shame and it is not just for the for the highly dysfunctional situations or leases were live in broken homes alcohols in it at all of us probably in some way dictated by this or somebody wanting you to do better withhold love and acceptance and an end is and you run hard after it is worth.

It's worth sometimes is looking at your own your own family when you grow up to think about it and this is one of the very first little inventories us all and is beginning to learn about shame and begin to realize that shame-based homes. There is a big emphasis on performance and in fact the performance gets emphasized more than the than the person the personhood stuff to say that is like we don't care about the people in the family is just that the performance is so is so important that what the child gets the idea is that what matters around here is that I do enough and so the thought processes on a human doing, rather than a human being. It's usually also in in in a home like this where it's it's it it gets the message comes across is not okay to make mistakes. This is not okay is not okay to not okay to ever fall down make a bad grade mess up on something not okay to even slip up and in and in and commit a sin or do something that is like somehow it makes you feel like that's okay and if if you if that's the mentality, then the mind of the child says that I need to be perfect right to support what grace is little the little girl's mind is saying we may not be mistaken I might be abandoned so the answer to this is don't make any mistakes. Just be perfect. It often is followed by not only you can't make things but is like I can't do it well enough to our you try. Is this the lives always know what can you done better than you did.

And so this leads to the mentality of well maybe things just never work out for me because that someone else will be better than me.

I just can't seem to do it well enough.

It also has to the idea of you must always do it better. And that leads to the question always going to the child. What have I done enough. Am I good enough look at me and in and see dude do I look like I've done enough for you seal this this this all goes together and it and then there is there is idea of of of support. This only conditional. We support one another. We support you only if you're doing if you're doing well. So the child thinks I'm okay only if you approve of me. What do you think of me and almost in every shame-based home. There are undiscussed issues and secrets. There are things that because we are so interested in appearance were so interested in approve or selection performance. The things that are going wrong here, the, the family may be perceived by alcohol is in the family may be besieged by all kinds of problems or even abuse and in the whole messages you don't tell anybody about this because the whole message of shame is you just hide you discovered say that I just I just so appreciate grace sharing her story because what what she tells us in bearing her soul is the anatomy of how this can all come to pass, and a child's life at it is to say, essentially, that shame seeks to lead you by withholding, acceptance and love, like dangling the carrot like the phony rabbit. What will you run hard after you run hard to be love to be accepted and and and it becomes something that then becomes a mentality and a child can just grow up thinking like that and wonder later in life. Why am I so prone to depression talent right will have more teaching from today's important series accepted perfectly free to be yourself with no fear of injection last no more anxious feeling that she feel like the pressure is always on longing for life with no show in paradise before sin came into the world.

This relationship is ever since the fall of the human heart has been camping to the same kind to send out tiny perfect in order to meet others to decide, since on a measure at them as well. Right now is poisoned by shame and there's only grace of God in Jesus Christ kind look for yourself yourself exposes the house of shame. He leads you into a revolution of God's love that heals your cell discovered freedom joy as you shall performance based living. Shame and fear for good life-changing full-length book from Alan Wright for yourself. The gospel is shared when you get Alan Wright Ministries. This broadcast is only possible because of listener financial support. When you get today.

We will send you a special offer. We are happy to send this to you as I banks from Alan Wright Ministries, seven 877-544-4860 877-544-4861 come to our website past Rowan.org. Please teaching you once again is what will you run hard after you'll run hard to be love to be accepted and and and it becomes something that then becomes a mentality and a child can just grow up thinking like that and wonder later in life. Why am I so prone to depression, or why am I so tempted towards the things it will just gratify my flesh. It's because that gnawing anxiety of never being enough, just it's the worst feeling in the world and you end up want to cover it up somehow. If there's anything that we just know that pain for a while and so some people numb it with a substance.

Some people might know that with fleshly behavior and some people might numb it by just trying to be perfect and that's what grace did, but eventually she found herself absolutely exhausted with it.

I want you to know that right from the opening chapter of the Bible that God made it clear that he does not motivate by withholding his blessing, he does not motivate us. He never did any never intends to try to motivate you by withholding his acceptance instead what we read.

That is one of my favorite verses in the Bible in Genesis chapter 1 verse 28, speaking of the man and woman that he had made in his own image, says very simply, and God blessed them, and God said to them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth. He tells him yes I want you to be fruitful. I want your life to be productive. I want you to excel. I want you to have impact. In fact, I want you to have dominion how I want you to have vitality saying yes I want you to live a productive life.

But notice the order. He doesn't say be productive and then I'll bless you.

He says I bless you. I accept you.

I affirm you. You are made in my image. You are you are beloved. He blesses them and then he says, be fruitful and multiply. In other words, it's out of the blessedness that God assures us that we become productive. So does God want us to live out a great destiny absolutely, absolutely. But he doesn't want us living out that destiny with a sense of anxiety. He doesn't want us living at with the sets I have to do more and more, or else God won't accept me instead. The gospel says to us you through Jesus Christ have been absolutely 100% forever accepted and the more that you are assured of that receive my blessing be filled with the assurances of my love and out of that confidence grows in you and you can go and and you can you can be fruitful and productive beyond your wildest dreams, but it takes an encounter and an awareness of the love of God so I want to invite grace and cracking back up here to tell at least a little piece of the wonderful end of the story or is not the end is just having better and better and so what happened in your life was a miracle in there also was a process, but we just have such a small amount which we had a whole hour to just tell what God did in your life but how could you summarize in this tell us what did God do when he began replace all that shame with his amazing grace.

Well, God set it up that I would meet someone from this church that invited me to her. No and even though I had left the house or driven the car for a couple years I woke up one morning and said to my husband. I'm going to church. I just knew that's where I was supposed to be and I came to church and listen to the pastor preach the gospel of grace, not works, and I went through the whole thing and just received it and went home and said to my husband and I didn't have to do anything sale the next week. I did the same thing.

I came back because I was just hungry for more. And I did the same thing.

I wept and went home and on the third week I heard Pastor say if you need prayer there people in the chapel that will pray for you for any need for the third week, I walked back in the chapel and some kind people pray for me and the spirit of God came over me and just state spiritual surgery took all the depression all the fear all the anxiety way and I knew as well as I know I'm standing here that I was never to be depressed again. It was absolutely near absolute thing and end all of us who had met you before, and certainly any of those that knew you would all testify that a miracle of Grace Had Taken Pl. in Grace McCracken's life and me to now grace they could never believe that once you didn't want to be around people and you could never believe just tell how low it yet but I thank you for sharing your story because I think it provides hope for everybody that's come to a place of depression or despondency or great fear in her life was a miracle but is also been a process you been walking this out and and replacing all the lies of shame with the truths of the gospel of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. We have some baptismal party didn't weigh after that because you decided you wanted to get baptized and was so we did over dark halls pool and there are number of folks again not get baptized that day because others had been coming to Christ through the prayers of those neighbors and I guess most of all of the grace excitement was to see your own husband any and I did know if you're using to come that day.

But there he came down here in his towel and I lovely said later that he knew God must be real because you been given his life back and oh what a wonderful, wonderful tribute. God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above and beyond all that you might ever ask imagine or think. If you have found and identified with some of the symptoms of growing up in a shame-based home. Your you're by no means alone. It surrounds us and there's only one answer to that idea that I have to run after the rabbit of acceptance and that is to discover that through Jesus Christ, you are forever loved and forever accepted it changed my life, that glorious news change graces life changers to test the gospel Allen right. Today's good news message when Shane becomes grace from the series for yourself. Be yourself.

Pastor Alan joins his back here in the studio for one final closing thought today just a moment. Stay with us like to be accepted perfectly free to be yourself with no fear of injection rolled her eyes in front of you. I love you last no more anxious feeling that you feel like the pressure is always on longing for life with no show in paradise before sending the world's relationship notion since the fall has been riddled with shame you can't see him condescend how tiny perfect in order to be satisfied since I'm not a measure at them as well. Right now is pleasing shame and there's only grace of God in Jesus Christ. How we cleaned look for yourself yourself exposes the lies of shame. He leads you into a revolution of God's love that heals your soul, discover freedom joy as you shall performance-based rating shame a few from good life-changing full-length book from Allen right for yourself.

Gospel is shared when you get Allen right ministries.

This broadcast is only possible because of listener financial support. When you get today.

We will send you a special offer.

We are happy to send this to you as I banks from Allen right ministries, seven 877-544-4860 877-544-4861 come to our website pastor out.org back with Pastor Alan are good news.

Thought for the day I is good news to know that you can be off of that racetrack not chasing a furry rabbit anymore.

What freedom is so freeing and just like a miracle. Grace McCracken experience. There is a miracle that is available to any of us and all of us. There are many many miraculous things that God does sometimes God heals the body and is a wonderful miracle but tell you if you can have your shame healed. It might be the greatest miracle other than your salvation you could ever experience. No matter how deep your shame no matter how bound up. You might have been from past trauma or ungodly ways of living and owes God is here today and his grace is available to set you free, and to take the shame off you.

I started realizing I need to personally learn about this because I don't want to live as if there is some hidden force that's guiding all my steps other than the Lord himself in the gospel of grace, so I began pursuing and I thought you know what this is important and I'm gonna preach a message on it. Well, as sometimes as the case, I preached a message on it, probably preach and more of myself than anybody else but boy the Holy Spirit begin to move and I think I preached for at least 18 weeks Colorado on Sunday nights total on Wednesday nights and just well it was something of a revival in our church people who had never common said I need prayer because of something traumatic and mellow people who had never thought of shame like I got people who had destructive patterns in their relationship all manner of people began opening up your hearts to the grace of God like never before. We began to seek healing and transformation and it just went on and on for weeks and then from there Daniel. It just became something that shaped my life shape. My family's life. All I was so thankful to learn about this before we had kids. And because I'm sure I would've parented with shame, rather than with the shame off you.

So I called that original series shame off year in a world that is always a shame on you your your shame yourself. Jesus came to give us something totally different to take the shame off of us and I knew at that time. Eventually I'd put it into a book of the Lord allowed and up but it was not till oh maybe a couple years later after I learned so much more than a put it into the book, originally called shame off you and then same exact book rereleased as publishers do sometimes under a different title for yourself yourself but same exact book that has helped so many thousands over the years and that's really how this whole thing got going and boy I tell you, it not only rocked my world, but for everybody else who started hearing it and that's what people been saying to me now for 20 years as I've never heard of this and for his changes everything.

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