When Shame Becomes Grace [Part 1]

Pastor author and Bible teacher Alan Wright.

If we become like a Greyhound chasing after the elusive rabbit called acceptance of what happens when you realize and finally admit to yourself I can't catch that rabbit excited for you to hear the teaching today. In the series. Free yourself yourself fire program.

I want to make sure you know how to get our special resource right now could be yours for your donation this month to Helen Wright ministries as you listen to today's message go deeper as we send you today's special offer. Contact us at pastor. Our.org or call 877-544-4860 that's 877-544-4860. More on that later in the program. Now let's get started with today's teaching here Alan Wright welcome again second segment when shame becomes grace welcome. All you got to be in here and just enjoy being with you at every bite is going to be studying it in small groups or if you're just following along for your own personal growth. The Lord bless you as the last time we were just getting introduction to what shame is what the definition of shame is and how the gospel says something entirely different and we want to dive in a little deeper and this segment not only learn about how grace can replace shame but to actually hear testimony that I think will really really be encouraging to you.

So my favorite story about the way we tend to breathe in grace all around us man goes into a pet store and he walks by a parent at the front and the bear goes by. Man looks over at the parent.

The parents are your fat wife suddenly the man couldn't believe it. He just walked away and he came walking by. Again, the massive white bears at your fat you live ugly. This happened several times and EE finally said it for the third time he went back at the pet store store owner and he said that bird up there is insultingly every time I go by and said I really believe in the press were so don't you worry about to go have a talking to him I will get that bird it will happen again.

He goes up there.

He grabs Attenborough about the scruff of the neck shakes around a little bit. He says I am so tired of you insulting my customers.

If you tell that man that he fat his wife's ugly one more time I will come up here, ring your neck. He throws a parent back into the cage to the customers as Enoch will bother you anymore.

So the man went around he gathered up the things he was going to be purchasing and as he was leaving the store.

He walked about the bird AI that bird over there and suddenly the paragraph mass at what the parents said you know what it's gotta like that we say somebody somewhere is some little thing they hold over you or is just this idea is like it's in the environment. It's all around us that even if I'm not telling you actively what it is that is wrong with you. I will let you know in some way or another you know why and I'm keeping score, and I'm keeping track of the asked that kind of thing will this causes a tremendous disturbance to the soul.

It causes there to be an anxiety that is inside of us now. Unfortunately, the people that often we host need to receive love from are the ones who they are so afraid that we may not be all that we can be. They may have not received love themselves the very ones we most need to receive that acceptance from sometimes don't know how to give it and therefore shame finds its roots often in our families in the second chapter of the book there is the star of the story, of course, is Jesus.

But there's a supporting role. That is a very important one will lady named Grace McCracken and I titled that chapter. When shame becomes grace because as her name speaks. She is a tribute trophy of the grace of God, and I could tell you her story about why me tell you when we've got grace right here with us and so grace come up here and that just joined me and welcome God bless you always, always great to talk to you and that the share incredible story which we will get to the two absolutely wonderful news of your story and how grace became so real in your life.

But when I first met you he you have been really low, low point in your life. I think in order to set the stage your story.

Maybe start their how difficult have life become for you. My life is always difficult for me is always just putting 1 foot in front of another joint you much joy because my parents let out my father left us with a two brothers and my mother was educated and did not have any skills working simply lost her home and went to live with my grandparents hello forming home with other family numbers (it was a hard place. Privacy and drank. The women were all depressed or anxious or fear. So I learned it really learned it was modeled sale strong. I went to school and worked and got married. I did everything I was always just putting 1 foot in front of each other and later in life. My after I got married.

My mother became very ill and she came and lived with us and I took care of her.

I really believe that if I did the very best for her that she would get.

She became very very ill last year of her life. Several surgeries so I just sleep just did everything for her cooked or the right thing and did everything she when she died, died. I thought it was a failure. I am in one time when she tell I got another change that. I just did that Herschel shall be totally really believe she died. I got to.

It wasn't just grief. It was you became hopeless and and initial up in depression you sold doctors you tried you tried everything went everywhere all kinds of medication. Nothing. Nothing helped. And that I could leave when night, could not sleep at night night what approach I start getting wake up and attack crying.

Crying. Crying. Crying like to hydrate it's it's something I know the others can identify with a point where everything just feels dark.

It feels hopeless and I know what I first met you and what a privilege that was but I could tell that you know you have the time you are you you are anxious and course wonderful miracle would come to pass in your life right will have more teaching moment from today's important series to be accepted perfectly free to be yourself with no fear of injection I last no more anxious feeling that you feel like the pressure is always on longing for life with no shame in paradise before sending the world's relationship notion since the fall of the human heart has been around.

You can't seem condescending, small, tiny, perfect in order to be satisfied since I'm not a measure at them as well. Right now is pleasing shame and there's only grace of God in Jesus Christ. We cleaned books for yourself yourself exposes the lies of shame. He leads you into a revolution of God's love that heals your soul, discover freedom joy as you shall performance based living shame a few from good life-changing full-length book from Alan Wright for yourself. The gospel is shared when you get Alan Wright Ministries. This broadcast is only possible because of listener financial support.

When you get today. We will send you a special offer.

We are happy to send this to you as I banks from Alan Wright Ministries, seven 877-544-4860 877-544-4861 come to our website past Rowan.org. Please teaching you once again is going backwards. From that point back to when your little girl, at least now later with the Lord's help. You've been able to identify some of the beginning points of this with her with a vowel that you made and I think that this just gives such a vivid picture of the nature of shame of what can start such a destructive path. There've been a lot of a lot of alcoholism, a lot of fun as you said a lot of depression and then there was a day you saw your mother cry and something that she said share what happened that day & my home life. I never see my mother cry such strong and one day my brothers and I were doing something painting. She was under stress level. I guess the height of her stress level. She said if you don't behave, I'm not going to be how to keep it all together and all I heard was well separated and lays some more and I I remember just as clear as it is making a conscious now that my mother cry… Pause right there and pay real attention to that.

If you want to get an anatomy and understand this whole diabolical cycle of shame how we get started and what can happen is that you know here is grace. She's a little girl and all that she knows in her world at that time is uncertainty and some of his because of alcoholism solos because of other depression and her mother is just fearful at that time. She's just afraid she's not trying to plant fear in you should not trying to plant shame in you, but it it it's wall a little girl could do is just to hear that and say oh no there's something that now it's up to me.

If I'm going to if I'm going to be accepted and not abandoned then I better better do something about this and that Val will never let my mother cry again. Then when we fast-forward years later and you're taking care of your mother literally still operating out of a valve from your childhood. It was rooted in the fear of being abandoned, but you don't realize all of that and and it literally then led to this downward cycle where in you get to that point of great great desperation in your life now.

Later on going to tell them the good news of this because I'm sure that everybody can see from your face that you no longer the depressed and fearful woman. In fact up for any of us that no grace if you if you didn't believe you did know her beforehand. You hardly believe that God is so good. Thank you grace so much for sharing your story with us. Have you ever seen those dull graces you know I was a child sometime in Florida. I got to see the Greyhound racing around the track. I guess they still do these races, the greyhounds, the fastest dog in the world and what they do is they put a phony mechanical rabbit out on a robotic arm that goes around the track and the open the gates and those greyhounds those lean mean racing machines they tear off after that phony rabbit and the problem is twofold.

One, the closer they get to the rabbit, the more the rabbit just keeps moving away from them. Secondly, the dog ever did catch the rabbit. It would not be satisfying at all because it's just kind of fake rabbit around the cage and I think I read one time a dog is a mechanical failure of the dog actually called up to the rabbit disappointed Greyhound all tell you if I were Dr. Doolittle, I think I have to have a little talk with those rabbits and tell them guys this doesn't make much sense. You come out here night after night and you race around trying to catch the same rabbit, but have you noticed you never catch the rabbit.

If I were Dr. Doolittle have to have a little therapy session with the dogs and tell them you know you need to develop some healthy boundaries here. You need to get real with your life because the dogs are tricked into thinking if they just could run a little faster than next time they'll get the rabbit well like a lot of us in life will were Chiasson is not not a fake furry rabbit were Chiasson after acceptance were chasing after love. Here's what happens. I think somebody in your life will find out whether you will run harder if they'll withhold acceptance so often times parents and teachers and coaches and authorities and sadly preachers realize that because people were designed and made for love. We were made needing love and acceptance. We have found that because that's the thing we want more than anything else in all of life people find that out that if they'll withhold love and acceptance that you will do almost anything to try to get it thought about my own life, especially in our earlier days were without realizing it inwardly tired and really anxious but I'm good at.

I want to get there, have enough success, the gum will find enough approval, do I will do enough of what people want me to do.

The problem with this is that love by its very definition is not something that is a reward for running fast love, by its very definition God's love is something that is absolutely unmerited. It has nothing to do with how much you've run how far you run, how fast you run, the problem becomes if we become like the Greyhound Chiasson after the elusive rabbit called acceptance. What happens when you realize and finally it to yourself.

I can't catch that rabbit no matter how hard I try. It's never enough.

What happens is that sometimes a person gets to that point, you realize I have done everything that I know to do. I have tried and I tried and I tried, I still don't feel accepted, and in fact what grace is sharing was like now I'm the ultimate failure and at least in Grace's situation, and in many others can identify with this is it is that that employee. We tried all that you can do. I'm going to a me of how I'm going to catch that rabbit I'm going to do what it takes to be a good little boy be a good little girl to make sure that people are proud of you and I'm good except to be loved and then the rabbit gets moved further and finally, at some point that dog any person down exhausted and say I give up somebody can come along along the way and say I'm sick of running after this. This is never go to work. This is this is that this really is a one-way contract to job and they just jump off it sounds good do things like care about anybody else is overseeing an earlier session, how it is so possible that the same root of shame can lead us to either towards perfectionism or can lead us down the road towards rebellion but is the same kind of Alan Wright is today's good news message. When shame becomes grace from our series free yourself yourself taken from a conference not too long ago. Pastor Alan is back with us in this to you with a closing good news thought for the day. Just a moment, stick with this perfectly. Free yourself with no fear of injection rolled her eyes in front of you. I love you last no more anxious feeling that you feel like the pressure is always on longing for life with no paradise before sin came into the world's relationship notion since the fall of the human heart has been riddled with shame you can't seem condescending, tiny, perfect in order to meet others to decide. Since I'm not a measure at them as well.

Right now it is pleasing shame and there's only grace of God in Jesus Christ kind look for yourself yourself exposes the lies of shame. He leads you into a revolution of God's love that heals your soul, discover freedom joy as you shall performance-based rating shame and fear for good life-changing full-length book from Alan Wright for yourself.

The gospel is shared when you get to Alan Wright Ministries this broadcast is only possible because of listener financial support. When you get today. We will send you a special offer. We are happy to send this to you as I banks from Alan Wright Ministries call us at 877-544-4860 877-544-4861 come to our website Pastor out.org is your Alan sporting good news thought for the day and held today's good news can change all of our lives. You know Daniel, we probably all know a little something about what is like to run.

After that rabbit called acceptance and we all have somebody in our lives.

It probably will try to dangle their approval out in front of us. You know the carrot on a stick. That's it just seems like he keeps on moving in my closing word to listener today is that God never dangles his acceptance in front of you. Christ came to die for the ungodly.

While we were still at our sin, he loves you as you want to change everything in our lives absolutely do our behaviors matter absolutely, but it doesn't change us by withholding his acceptance but by giving it so shame off you the love of God has already come in the person of Christ, guilt and shame are two words it did. Typically in the Christian will go hand-in-hand together, but there is a distinction between the two right well will learn a lot about your guilt is a real thing right but commit a crime guilty and I have guilt so were all guilty will we all have sin, we will fall short of the glory of God. To say shame off you is not to soften up on sin was not what it means is not to say that grace means that you get salt on sin either as statuses was the solution. All this and what we're distinguishing between is what some have called true guilt and then fault guilt but shame is something that's not just the same thing as false guilt and is not even the same thing exactly's condemnation.

What will you learn is that shame really is a system of thought.

It is a whole stronghold of the house of thoughts a way of looking at life, a way of looking at your own life is subtle at times and you don't realize it.

And then there are others who been through the deepest and darkest types of trauma, for whom it is a poisonous been taken and very deeply is very toxic, but the conviction of sin is will discover is a good thing. That's a gift from God is good to know how we can go a better way is good to know how the grace of God can lead us into a better way of living.

So that's the grace of God. Conviction of sin is not something to be ever shy about is not that something was run to this good is from God. Shame the shame that I describe in this series, Daniel is something we say that it's toxic. Some writers talk about healthy shame and toxic shame. I never chose to do that because it just seemed a little confusing. So when we use the word shame. We use it only in the negative sense of that lie that keeps us anxious and keeps us distant from God and from other thanks for listening today. Visit us online@pastor.org or call 877-544-4860 that's 877-544-4860 if you only caught part of today's teaching.

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