How to Get a New Husband | Sunday Message

Hey there, thanks for listening to the Greg Laurie podcast, a ministry supported by harvest partners. I'm Greg Laurie encouraging you if you want to find out more about harvest ministries.

Learn more about how to become a harvest partner, just go to harvest.org rent our series am I doing this right. I want to talk about how to get a new husband. Today ladies so will address in just a moment so turn to first Peter chapter 3 next Sunday my son Jonathan will speak on parenting and then finally I'm in a wrapup this series with a message titled how to divorce proof your marriage so guys walking on the beach right here in Southern California and he sees something shiny embedded in the sin.

He reaches down, picks it up. It's a lamb he presses the sand up in a genie appears this is a true story so the genie appears and says oh master, I will grant you one wish the guy said one went up when the three wishes.

The genie said coven, you know, covert, changed everything.

We can only do one wish that everything is blamed on covert now. Have you noticed that but anyway okay one wish.

Well, it's hard when we think about that for a moment they so you know, I've always wanted to go to Hawaii averted so beautiful. The water that the sun everything the waves that I want to go to wipe afraid to fly, so genie here's my one wish. I want a bridge from California to Hawaii so I could drive my car right over there to the end of the valley. That's my wish bridge California to Maui. Genie says he was saying that there's no way too much to scale because the concrete know I can do that well. She got guy said well I Mary and I don't understand. My wife and all. In fact, I don't understand women. So here's my wish genie I wish that you will give me the ability to understand women. The genie says back to the bridges at two lanes or four understanding women that's not something I've figured out I've been married almost 50 years. I four granddaughters even there still a bit of a mystery to me. But you know what women are even a mystery to women in our day to sometimes allows my wife will give girl said this to me. What does this mean and sometimes he knows sometimes she doesn't one day maybe a mystery to man, but they're not a mystery to God. He knows all about you ladies he created you and your unique qualities that you have so last time I talked to men, and now I'm going to talk to the ladies and I'm also going to have my wife Kathy come up at the end of the message with some insights as well but I want to talk about how to get a new husband look if we wanted marriage. It's gonna work were going to have to look away from culture to culture is not for the most part supportive of marriage. I wasn't always that way when I was a kid in a time known as the 50s there actually were television programs and other things that supported the idea of a family we watch television programs like Ozzie and Harriet leave it to beaver father knows best and things like that.

There was a mom that was that dad that was sort of a cultural morality if you will. Those days are long gone and now it seems like most of the things you see mom undermine make light of the idea of the family so we have to put away the worlds take it or leave it attitude toward marriage.

I did read an interesting article today in the Washington Post about how to have a long lasting marriage. The Washington Post is far from a conservative or a Christian, kind of a publication, but this article pointed out, if you want have a long-lasting marriage, you need to strike the idea of divorce from your vocabulary that it's interesting then they said I need to learn how to communicate better and you need to learn how to forgive. I thought I've heard that somewhere I think we talked about that in our last message and in this series on marriage but God tells us how to have a successful lasting in happy marriage. Sometimes people come to me for marital counsel and quite a few appointments over the years saw Saddam of the couple and I'll usually start with a few questions all ask, are you both Christian. So yes were Christians. We love the Lord great. Do you both of you will believe the Bible to be the word of God. All yes yes the Bible forgot. Okay. Are you willing to do with the Bible says even if you find it difficult or uncomfortable litigant can acquire because I think they know where I'm going to go run I'm in.

I will apply Scripture now to their situation because everybody who is having marital problems thinks their situation is different, but in general it isn't. There are exceptions. I've seen a few wild things and heard some stories you wouldn't believe, but by and large it's the same problems cropping up in every marriage and if you were to sum it up for this sentence it would because they're living selfishly instead of selflessly right so that person. Husband may say she's not meeting my needs.

She says he's not meeting my needs and so forth. So we gotta go back to what the Scripture says, and I don't know what state your marriage is in today. Are you may have a vibrant, strong, happy marriage of so God bless you and I hope this message encourages you, there might be somebody here that looks like you have a strong happy marriage. But under the hood.

There's some serious problem. I hope that today you'll find your marriage bolstered and strengthened. But then again there might be somebody here who's marriage is on the brink of divorce to be meant talked to attorney your hanging by a thread and the threat is on fire and I want you to know there's hope for you there's hope for your marriage to restore it again.

Oh, HOPE holding on with patient expectation. You see there's not much overview abandon ship.

Winston Churchill once made the statement and he said this to me personally in our government. Winston Churchill made the statement quote victory is not one by evacuation" will Churchill knew a little bit about that Brittany, the Prime Minister of England during World War II when the Nazis were bombing London on a nightly basis in the United States had not yet entered the conflict he was holding on, but he had courage and encourages people to hold on. Victory is not one by evacuation. The same is true of marriage. So how do you get a new husband. I don't mean leaving him. I don't mean treating him for the new model. I'm talking about what you can do is a woman to help your guy become a new man. It's so great when time is past and you're able to look back at all those memories together. Kathy and I like to reflect back in our marriage and all the adventures we've had over the decades and sometimes will be out having a meal and some on my table home of the few to been married we tell of the third drawer drops to the ground. 50 years what you know they can't believe it. It seems any such an individual thing.

But it doesn't have to be. It's rare to see a long-term marriage in good condition because a woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't amend, marries a woman expecting she will never change. But you guys so a word to singles out their girls. You see some guys a nice guy.

He's a mess he's trouble but I'm going to fix these flesh know you are, in fact, he might even get worker's so you can love him as he is.

Maybe you want to go a different direction. Some women work so hard to make good husbands. They never manage to be good wives. Let's see what the Bible has to say to the woman about being the best wife you can be first Peter chapter 3 I'm reading verses 1 to 4 from the new living translation wives. Likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, even those who refuse to accept the good news. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words will be won over by watching your pure, godly behavior.

Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry or beautiful clothes.

You should be known for the beauty that comes from with in the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

So do we learn here about how to get a new husband number one you're taking notes be the best version of you that you can be the best first interview that you can be. This means you want to be balanced woman you want to be a godly woman. Every lady should read and carefully studying Proverbs 31 were there we find what is described in the Bible as a virtuous woman that we sometimes think that the word virtue is that the feminine term only applied to women, but actually it's used of men and women in the Bible it speaks of purity, strength or skin value.

What we read about this woman of virtue in Proverbs 31. This is a hard-working woman. She's a businesswoman. She is a homemaker.

She's a great wife sees a mother. She's a beauty inside and out and you know the focus of the culture today is almost exclusively on your appearance is in it, you know, just a good women's magazines I subscribe to all of them and I don't.

But if you just look at the headlines on vulgar or cosmopolitan or whatever you you just go wow they seem to only be focused on the outward number on the inwards idea further your horoscope work for you know, whatever it might be. I just saw one of folk I came across this issue about polygamists look at it. Read the things would've both came out with an issue, Queen Esther, and doing what's right. The value of virtue how the daily study of Scripture can help you grow spiritually in your journey 20 scriptures on how to have a better marriage to be faithful yourself. Can you imagine an issue about looking like that is a great order to get that we made it up in the art department because it doesn't exist because you'll never find a photo that looks like this unless we have a spiritual awakening, and maybe you will, but I'm imagine that for a moment, imagine a woman's magazine or for that matter, a men's magazine underscoring and supporting biblical values instead of undermining them well that's the focus of the culture so much emphasis on how you look and it's been amplified a thousand times more by social media and eight I want to look this way plastic surgery is bigger than it's ever been. $16 billion is spent on plastic surgery. Every year that's in Newport Beach alone, it's even more Beverly Hills now when you mention getting Botox. No one even raises an eyebrow because their eyebrows already Ray did you get both on snow furled her brow right now I have heard about a plastic surgery addict support group that meets weekly.

There's a lot of new faces in the group every week and all the other cosmetic surgery people are hating me like I hate to know. But here's the thing I'm not making light of it. You want to get Isaac surgery and Alec Botox have added whatever, that's not my point. What I'm saying is the Bible is not seen the Glenn the outward.

It seemed primarily focus on the inward seen that the virtuous woman. The woman of God gets better with the passing of years.

We do not know why I don't want to get older it's horrible no no, the virtuous woman becomes more beautiful on the inside and then ways even on the outside because of her accountant to see unison. What I mean when I say countenance something that just emanates from this godly girl that the ungodly girl doesn't have. Despite her beauty despite everything she made to their something special about that godly woman world to get older, we can't stop the march of time as you know, my wife Kathy just had hip replacement surgery. She's doing very well. She didn't need the walker at all. She went straight to a little cane that she barely needs that now but you know it's still a little sore so we walk a little bit so she can get some exercise. He walked a mile, the other day. I think that's quite a distance for some of the guardianship replacement right so so were were walking in her neighborhood. Kathy is a little cane in Chino. She's beautiful and and and very youthful looking and some lady mother is pulling the little wagon. There's a little girl in the back and she looks over at Kathy and she says hi old lady I Kathy took her cane and shook it out or she says get you my PT. No, not really, but she Kathy was gesturing with the change you look at this a good gesture with the king came out cocaine, gesturing, don't become too used to it and I see yelled out to the mother she just said Replacement surgery.

She wanted when I would change soon.

She's really well. Mothers like me alone just get out of here and take your brat with you. Not really, but in my heart I felt that no look anniversary of first Peter three.

Don't let your adornment be merely outward. The word adornment is from the Greek word cosmos gets a word we get from that cosmetic. Of course, so here's what you think. Don't major on externals while ignoring the inside when he says putting on fine apparel means of frequent changing of clothes with the purpose of impressing people.

There's nothing wrong with having beautiful close lady is nothing wrong with being an attractive woman but don't be so obsessed with that you neglect the N-word altogether. That is the focus will should a Christian woman wear makeup a house needs painting pain. It that something is to use US preoccupation see if I'm preoccupied as a woman, or for that matter amid with my appearance and I completely neglect the internal and the spiritual by life's out of balance for some of the 4-H is physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for this life and the life to come. So, but it does a physical training has some value right if someone might be really out of shape, and the obviously taken no care on their appearance and you see him anyone to step up your game a little bit with treatment physically.

The physical branches of little value, whatever is some and you could use a lot of that. So maybe you swung too far the other way explicit in the name of spirituality which is in spirituality at all blended into those things will maybe you need to be into little more take a little better care of your physical body and of the way that you look at. However, you can go too far the other way. So it's finding the balance and not every girl's a beauty queen. Not every man is a male model as I am none so I didn't need to say no I'm not a why did I say that not only knew Greg we merely got that was a joke.

That's why we love get a grip. But here's what it's saying to girls develop your mind and your heart as well as your appearance. A godly woman is known for wisdom as well as beauty. Proverbs 31 says when she speaks, her words are why she gives instructions with kindness charm is deceptive beauty does not last, but a woman that fears the Lord will be greatly praised again. First Peter three. The beauty that comes from with in. So just be the best you that you can be number two.

This is a big one girls respect your man first Peter three again wives, be submissive to your husbands.

But even if some do not obey the word without a word, then maybe one underline that without a word, they may be one by the conduct of their wise when they were observe your chase and respectful conduct accompanied by fear Re: SPECT. That is what he needs from the know we all know that song respect popularized by Aretha Franklin to then write about the way might surprise you to know the song was written by a guy's name is Otis Redding is also known for his song saddened by the dock of the Bay. So think of this is song originally was written by a man from a male perspective in the original version of the song. The lyrics are a little girl here so sweeter than honey and I want to give you all my money start. Then he says what I want you to give it give it give it when I come home, rest spats when I wanted respect when I needed risk that got to have it sock it to me. Sucks to be subject to a socket to write. That said is what he saying girl give me some respect. When I come home. He was on to something.

This is what the Bible says, listen wives to win your husbands means you need to respect them. Ephesians 533 says that nevertheless that every one of you in particular love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. I want you to think about this from a moment. The Bible specifically says to husbands, love your wives, and is specifically says to women respect her husband. That does not mean that wives don't need respect, nor does it mean that husbands don't need love, but what it does mean is, specific instructions are given to men and women so wanted to quit focusing on what he supposed to do girls focus on what you're supposed to do and guys focusing on what she's supposed to do and you make sure you're doing your part respect your husband Dr. Emerson at Rich's rights in this excellent book, love and respect these words quote when a husband feels disrespected. It's especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved. It's especially hard to respect her husband." That's really true. See when a husband feels disrespected is a natural tendency to react in ways that seem unloving to his wife when a wife feels unloved. She is a natural tendency to react in ways that seem disrespectful to her husband.

Here's what I'm saying. Don't wait until you feel it to start doing show a little respect I heard about a woman who is having problems with her husband. She decided to divorce him, so she went on to an attorney and said I want a divorce my husband, but even more I want to hurt him. I want this to be painful, what you suggest and the attorney set. I've got an idea. I want you for the next three months to smother your husband with affection.

Tell them how wonderful he is, how handsome he is, how hard-working he is, how much you appreciate him how much you respect them make him what he wants to eat just just make his life wonderful do that for three months and then just tell them I'm divorcing you. He won't know what hit him. She said okay and so everything should get up and tell her husband she loved and tell her husband she respects him over and over again three months later, the attorney call says okay let's get this party started this fall. This lawsuit, she says lawsuit were going on our second honeymoon when I happened what happened that she understood the biblical principle of respecting her husband so let's start girls, I mean the guys do something awkward. No church or wives turn your husband's you're not turning turn dear husbands you're going to say something to them.

Redding say this is it just me or does Greg actually get handsome every time. None of did say that Simon I respect you say that I respect sit. I respect you see the guy can all listen. Girls guys don't that complex. We really are just little respect is a respect you, thank you.

I'll give you all my money honey.

What can I do for you. Yes clear biblical principle.

So number one let your beauty be in word but don't forget the outward number two respect and honor your husband number three.

Focus on actions over words to influence her husband focus on actions over words to influence her husband first Peter 31 likewise wisely submissive your husbands and by the way this is speaking of a nonbelieving husband and even if some do not obey the word they without a word will be one by the conduct of their wives so maybe in talking to a lady here that's married to a nonbelieving man.

I don't know how you got yourself in that situation. Maybe when you married neither one of you were believers, and then you became a Christian but he didn't want him to come to the Lord doing and how can I convert my husband. I know I'll preach a sermon to them every single day that some of the Bible tells you to do or you might say well I would dump him because the Lord spoke to me the other day and said all my daughter dump your dog husband and Mary that sensitive Christian man you met at church know God didn't say that is what God said. First Peter three. If you're with a nonbelieving menu can win him over. By the way that you live less criticism, more encouragement, less preachy, more praise, less talk more walk, less sermon's more sandwiches. I told you guys another complex you know it's been said, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Now that you know it can be overly simplistic, but you make him a great meal. You tell them you love and respect and girl listen I will go a long ways further than you may think all know I'll preach to him, I will nag him into the kingdom of God know you will not drive him away.

That's what you will do this is what Peter is saying a translation of what he says here one is translation is the silent preaching of a lovely wife Peter seen Nikita reach a man is nothing words or deeds that telling him, showing him because actions speak louder than words you live a godly life and the Lord will do the changing and I know Christian wives to have been married to nonbelieving guys and they've applied this principle and it doesn't happen necessarily overnight. In some cases it took a decade maybe two decades. Then one day boom.

The guy comes around and now they have a wonderful happy marriage and there's so glad they live by what the Scripture said do it without a word and I'm overstating it when I say in general, women are more verbal than men, would we agreement and I studies have been done. I don't know how they do it but they said an average woman speaks 20,000 words a day, a man about 7000 is not quite as maybe some women are more verbal in general and a woman in general is more of a persuader through what she said given over to God.

This can be a powerful tool. Think of Queen Esther persuading the king to spare the lives of her people, the Jews. That's feminine persuasion at its best. Think of me without a method garden, encouraging the him to eat the forbidden fruit that that's feminine persuasion at its worst. Listen, lady. Say what you have to say. Men listen to what they say. Proverbs 3130 says when she speaks, her words are wise.

If she gives instructions with kindness, but now ladies avoid the temptation. The knack it doesn't help that she can make things worse.

Proverbs 20 and 1913 says a nagging wife is like a constant dripping giver of a faucet drips in the night the Connecticut were off right.

That's what nagging is like scolding complaining that will drive him away. Proverbs 2119 says better did well on a housetop them with a brawling, quarreling, disagreeing, scolding woman.

This is been said and I like it. The wife who handpicks her husband is likely to find him, listening to some other check, that's good, the wife who had secured it can picture the plain words, the birds, if she handpicks her husband shall find them listening to another check whatever you're hard to please Sgt.

They liked it better in Riverside and under which your problem is many as the Botox engine. Now I've turned everyone against me, but I can't tell because your eyebrows are lifted look happy.

So I think I'm okay. I don't know. Think about what you say, think before you speak. Think THINK before those words come out of your mouth. T is it true H is it helpful why is it inspiring and necessary KZ con. I lived by that Greg I would say very little.

Okay, when, without a word she will men hear things differently. You may need in one way you may hear it another way, you might say when you're driving your loss.

Let's stop and ask for directions.

He hears you saying you're not a man you say can I have the remote control and he hears you saying let's watch something that will be boring be on belief.

You might say to the husband.

Let's redecorate any hears you safe. Think a lot of money and just flush it down the toilet.

You say you need to get in touch with your feelings he hears you saying blah blah blah.

You see, are you listening hears you say blah blah were just different were wired differently. We can celebrate that, like when I got to order food with my wife which is classic to witness what I sit down in the restaurant. I know exactly what I want to especially if I go to the restaurant under regular basis. I already decided I'm ready to order before they bring water from my wife will securely see the menu suggesting we come here all the time you memorize the menu. I sent an even more. I know what you're going to torture you can order this know I'm going to look at the minute you orders and energy orders exactly what I said you daughter but Josie, like all of the silent and Elsie will tell you should eat more than that. She says I'll just have a little of yours. No, no picture, all quiet for you and everyone on this menu I'll buy it so you can eat. No, I just wanted your whole let me tell you about men and food. Think of a dog with food in the dish in your dog's normally friendly and you patted on the head of the carouse that you that's a man eating just let them any heat he tries to pretend he's being polite. He just wants to keep just want to step in andwent anyway. What that's all about. I just coming out of and then I'll be getting whatever it is a hamburger perfect Hamburg I'm saving that last by just looking forward to Ivan my associate. Can I have that last play like your shirt on. Diego put inside of the when I get my revenge in desert.

If we order it like you want to order dessert. No, no, no, I don't want dessert we order and then she'll be leaning over with someone else should take a bite and talk to somebody hold it on the fork in.

I go in for the kill though I have no idea right but is point number four. Submit this is all you can remember all the stupid jokes submit to the leadership of your husband notices were a lot of girls submit to the leadership of your husband. First Peter three. This is King James, likewise wise, be submissive to your own husbands, and even if some do not obey the word they without a word will be won by the conduct otherwise well that they observe your cheese and respectful conduct accompanied by fear. Some women bristle at this because they don't understand they see it is sort of really Paul, sort of a chauvinist K misogynistic and Iran better than women were over women all your you got it all wrong. Okay you know anything about the culture. Paul is writing so you would realize it's the opposite. The Bible and Christianity elevated the woman back in this culture. Romans treated wives like objects you could discard them at will divorce him for no real reason.

Even in some aspects of the Jewish culture.

A woman could be divorced for any reason. Okay so when Paul says to men, love your wife is Christ loves the church. That's a key change or put her needs above your needs lover as Jesus loves the church sacrifice for her server. Well why be submissive to your husband's hold on before.

He says wives should submit to their husbands and husbands should love their wives. Ephesians 5 says be submissive one to another, and the reverence of God. So we just start out there to put your needs above my needs.

Again, back to selflessness instead of selfishness listened as far as a man and a woman go they stand on equal ground before God because of the death of Jesus on the cross. Men are not better than women, women are not better than men when better than each other but were very different from each other. In Galatians 328 says is neither Jew nor Greek, slave or free, male nor female were all one in Christ. But then I would point this out though there is no difference between men in women in the nature of their salvation or standing before God, the husband has the God-given responsibility to provide for, protect, and lead just as the Lord does the church and the wife is to submit graciously to the servant leadership that the husband provides just as the church submits willingly to Jesus, the wife does the same. Now what about of the husband asked the wife to do something she doesn't want to do Willets try to figure out what that might be. It was maybe the make you a meal you don't want to make her do something that's one thing but if it's on biblical or illegal or immoral certainly are not required to submit to that actually Colossians 318 says wives, be subject to your husband's as it is fit in the Lord. So I have a huddle would ask you to do something that's not fit in the Lord. You're not required to submit to that Francis foretold the submit to the ordinance of man for the Lord's sake and the king of the governors and those who are in authority.

So we submit to the government. By that I mean if the officer pulled up behind us and turns on the lights. We pullover, we comply if it comes time to pay our taxes though they are too high and so much of our money is wasted.

We pay our taxes, and by the way, if you don't like it, register and vote. This is a big problem we have today. We need to get out there vote is a lot of things I don't like about our government right a lot of things I don't like about what's happening in the state of California. Lot of things I have very strong opinions on so the place for I can express that is at the ballot box would listen to this. If the government suddenly passes a law that says you can no longer pray do I obey that law.

The answer is no.

If the government says you can no longer preach the gospel to I obey that law know I'm in and do what God tells me to do this is the situation of the apostles to were forbidden to preach by the Roman authorities and they said we must obey God and not man. Okay, so that can happen in the marriage, the husband says you must do this on the husband okay well what are you saying that you can never go to church again or read your Bible because I'm the head of the home will honey going to have to not do that. Read the word of God and I'm in a go to church in a minute take the kids with me. I make you great lunch afterwards, look up for my own spiritual welfare in the welfare welfare of our children see you make a stand in certain areas known were not doing that okay if you were to if you were hurt you. You were to shoot you abuse you in any way know you don't submit to that will get into that later when we talk about how to divorced proof your marriage with theirs limits to submission. But setting that aside and listen. I can't get into all the nuances of this doesn't matter what I say similar sake, what about this.

Well, I only have so much time on my time is almost that's what we encourage you to be in a small group because of going to this curriculum that were teaching on this series. Am I doing this right and you can talk about that, among other believers in the small group and it will help strengthen your marriage but I want to shift gears now and get my wife Kathy out here as we talk a little bit more, so let's welcome Kathy Lori don't say hey old lady to her like she's moving fast so alright so I was in the Kathy you know she was out with a cane and she started gesturing with her will look at that over there. I said Dorchester with the cane just this working to get rid of the cane as soon as we can. Intimidated by this came I am. I'm afraid of it is is a source of strength right Moses staff Kathy, do you think like that. I want you to speak on behalf of all women everywhere on earth like you who can do that. Nobody but you I think that in general in general that women want strong leadership from men. Yes, I do hiding underneath it all, we do want to see men be who God is called into BME. Ideally we want men to stand up to the role to which God is called into an strong man can be misunderstood as a blow which is strong man is the strong man in my definition strong man is one who is recognizing his position that God has given him as leader and head of the marriage and the family, but also that role entails a great deal of servant leadership as he models the love that Christ has for the church that is huge. You know, so in a sense we are called to play that role of Christ as a wife submits to the headship and godly leadership of her husband's bright in the same way. Husband is loving his wife laying down his life pursuing the good of the family and wife equal to his own personal debt so I strong man is one who understands his role as God is given to him, but does not use that first elfish in South United. He's looking out for the best welfare of the wife and of the thousand, and I think that when a wife sees that servant right leadership that she is more willing to surrender and submit what she doesn't like to see is a husband who exploits that chronicled headship or leadership for its own selfish gain at no everything from who gets to hold a remote controller pick the color of the car. Those kinds of things you know she'd be a collaboration and cooperation everybody bringing their best selves. There their sacrificial love and their strengths and attributes that you marriage one or two men need to know about women we missing Telus were clueless. I I I can't speak for you and that women are unique in God's design that we have gifts and perspectives and opinions that are valuable and that are well worth listening to. That women has strengths that men do not vice versa, and not good and godly man is not intimidated by allowing a wife says you realize her best self in the same way she wants her husband to be his best self. The whole role of marriage over time uses for us to help one another.

As the Scriptures say that you know not good is understood me and we bring perspectives and can't and Winston to the marriage together and cooperating with one another. Right yeah I'm looking for his approval know I going to sorry I am through this message. So first Peter three know Peter talks about the major on the carpet. There is a place for you know just a woman being the trunk of your beautiful woman you think about what you're going to wear you. I mean this there's something wrong with that some kind of the addresses especially. Maybe forming women of all ages, but talk is a girl to girls like okay here's how I see this we know it's interesting because will set right over here now. Honestly joke he always gets me to laugh, which is one of his strengths as it diffuses me and let me just say this is that when it comes to outward appearance manners in a way we think about the value of manners and culture and society rethink what is it really matter which fork I use with IQ with my mouth open or if I call my hair in the morning you're doing this for your own self. It's doing ascetic consideration and preference of others. So for a wife to overly focus on her appearance and neglect the inequalities of Korean gentleness and mercy and lives that would be a tragedy as it talks about, you know, a ring of gold in her cakes.

Now you know a woman without discretion, may be beautiful as I can.

If you were to at least give some consideration to your outward appearance. People cannot see dorsal and see it in action.

Perhaps a bit when you make that first impression and husband come home to his right or she is life and vice versa. Guys, this is the same for you. You know when your first dating on your best behavior you shall at you now.

Not thinking about how you looked or how you behaved on the first day revisit those seem pretty seasoned manners goes a long way in life when he slid there and much more enjoyable for people to be around you and said that it is analogous society is swinging so far to outward appearance. So far, to that to recognize where we are as children and I and who we are before him.

It's a balance in all of these areas so they pay some attention, but it's not the most important thing yeah but it is important that you get what I'm saying dry true about submission. Okay, so people I've seen some you know women like I to know the male chauvinism. It's misogynist and all the stuff you know the it's interesting because when you look back culturally at the way things were for women.

When Paul wrote those words to a man love your wife as Christ loves the church and Roman culture. Women were regarded as an object. You could almost like one of your possessions. You could divorce her walk away from her. No real reason even needed and even in some aspects of Jewish culture.

You could put away your wife or divorce her for almost any reasons like the Pharisees came to Jesus about the topic up to him and he brought it back to Genesis a for this cause shall a man leave his father, mother be joined is why do you think guys are missing the point here so but talk about submission and what that means in day-to-day living to a Christian life.

Submission is something that God has explained, and God has shown us his work and there is no getting around it and it speaks directly to the relationship of Christ to the father and that there is submission on the part of Jesus to the will of his father and It is embedded in the Trinity and in the Godhead and when the Scriptures teach that a wife is to beams mission to her husband as we would rightfully understand what that means that you did a great job of explaining cases where it does not apply to anything illegal, immoral, and detrimental to her health to the children right you know that's a totally different question.

Were not talking about that mission is is a beautiful thing in that we get to as why live out the glory of the redemption story of laying your life down taking second place. In fact needed tightening and I'm not talking this is the last week and I think you handled that well last week. The men also have a role in submission in every part of Army reaches is really a collaboration so rare that Greg ever tried to make the hard decisions and ladies can tell you a lot and would love to run from the area of responsibility and that, dear. They had a hat. They're the ones have to make the final call went to people in America and there said she would you not three of you. There is only two votes. And if you vote on opposite sides has to bear the responsibility. I will say happy burning, making the final decision and when a wife says to her husband, honey I disagree here.

The reasons why here's my opinion on this.

Here's everything that I know why I think it's wrong. However, you are the one that God has placed in the position of having to make this difficult decision and you will have to answer to God for no pressure there that the family will follow you and the more time a few situations like that landlords were able to come to some sort of consensus that there are times when great.

It was about the hairpiece I wanted to where you are against it all ran off with it. We won't go there for it to me anyhow I will say miraculously changed what I thought was obviously wrong decision and it's turning out to be the right decision. However there have been times when I think and I think you would you would also admit to times when it probably wasn't quite the right church and sent that many but cannot mail instead I will not I will refuse I will find you on this. I will define the family over this. I will let only are you out of God's order number one, number two, you are depriving your husband of learning theory important and valuable lesson and I think that God sometimes on houses to learn to mistakes and to failures in the next time around. Don't she comes to realize this on his own. Recognize that your input was so valuable. Your perspective was unique and that he will listen more carefully. The next time he makes a decision.

So just back off and I says he will do for us as Christian lives, and that is just live out the role that God has called us to.

There's beauty and are reflecting the role of Christ and there is no demeaning note. As a matter fact it's an exalted election with the greatest among you be the servant sometimes you feel like you're saving you just say to yourself I am playing out the role of Jesus in this I am serving, and let me tell you, your husband will see in the Lord will see you and there will be a blessed life and there's not blending in cooperation agency actions speak louder than words in a marriage, sometimes husband C says things he knows what it cost you let the Holy Spirit speak to him back away and enjoyment ask Nikki running marriages that it's charging is hard as high everything in life has its challenges anything worse. Anything is going to take some effort and some working blades garden that in time produces amazing and beautiful three memories to share in the hard times, only, and more significant and more just enhances the beauty of everything that you have in your relationship in your marriage, having overcome obstacles, and I have seen women who were always dominant, always in control husbands who are passive and I've seen marriages hanging by a thread has been just that I just can't take it anymore ladies lady I'm walking out and I saw one woman in particular, recognize that she had tried to control everything about this man's life and when she recognize she was on the verge of losing her marriage. She turned on at the time she started studying the Scriptures, she started reaching out quiet morning and praying for her husband and really serving Pepsi turned around she saved her marriage. She saved in marriage.

Ladies, we can be our own worst enemies and our marriages. Let's not do what God says what is called us to the promises that he will protect us and care for us a excellent inside door so that the why don't you is out there as we close, so grateful that we don't do marriage along that we as believers use 1/3 person in you with your Holy Spirit, who is maturing and conforming us into your image like that's what we want more than anything else. We are here for each other and with each other to help one another to become the people in the nation that you have designed us to be to realize the beauty and the fulfillment of that role, not to substitute our role for their role or try to be everything but to be what it is you called us to be as a compliment as a helper and desiring to find you to make marriage even better. So Lord, we pray for a filling of your Holy Spirit for every wife out there. I prefer the marriages that are hanging by a thread and we cannot control what our spouse is about to do, but we can control what we you help us to live role of Christlike large in our marriages with their work husbands or wives help us to realize the beauty and the glory that you promise that will be ours if we do things your way, we commit ourselves to you and the family since his church to you in the marriages in Jesus name Amen amen.

God bless you all. Everybody, thanks for listening to this podcast to learn more about harvest ministries follow the show and consider supporting it. Just go to harvest.org and find out how to know God personally go to harvest.org and click on know God